It was tragic from the start.

 

Dahyun was a part of a religion that condemned homouality.

Momo was already in a relationship.

Dahyun was trying and failing to graduate university.

Momo was dying from stage 2 lung cancer.

Dahyun is afraid of loss.

Momo has a full-time job.

Dahyun has an unborn child.

Momo doesn’t like to be touched.

 

None of the stars were correctly aligned.

 

It would be more likely for the world to end, it seemed, than for their relationship to work out. The odds of a camel going through the eye of a needle and even the chance of a rich man entering through the gates of heaven were greater. It was practically impossible. Unimaginable. Incomprehensible for them to fall in love.

 

But love doesn’t give you a choice.

 

 

It was as if Dahyun’s eyes were forced to fixate on the cashier of the clothing store. If she turned away, her mind seemed to threaten her with something undeniably horrible. She could just see her if she tilted her head slightly to the left past the mannequin wearing the hoodie she wanted to purchase.

 

Dark eyes, messy raven locks pulled into a ponytail, her uniform unkempt and the name badge missing (Dahyun internally cursed her at that). From this distance away, Dahyun could see her pouty red lips and noticed that every few seconds she would the surface of her teeth (a nervous habit?) and her nails were painted what seemed to be a lilac hue (she noticed because they clashed with the red uniform). There was no doubt in Dahyun’s mind in that very moment that Momo was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

 

“Dahyun? What are you looking at?” It is her mother talking. She doesn’t really want to answer her.

“Nothing.” Is what she decides she will say (I am looking at an angel). She continued to look at the unnamed angel employee, trying to understand the feeling that was slowly building in the pit of her stomach. It was like a simultaneous rising and sinking feeling mixed with a pump of adrenaline. She hadn’t ever experienced something like this before.

 

“Well, stop staring into space and pick the colour you want. We don’t have all day.” She was right. They didn’t have all day, but Dahyun’s brain thought they did. In a daze, Dahyun turned back to her mum and pointed to the first hoodie that appeared in her line of vison.

“Green? Are you serious?”

 

 

Momo didn’t feel well today. She hadn’t slept, her shift at the clothing store started at seven, she felt like and her boyfriend wasn’t picking up the phone. She had spent the entirety of her hour-long break calling and texting him to come and pick her up. She couldn’t tell her boss that she was sick without a way to get home. Otherwise she would have to spend the rest of her ten-hour shift in the shopping centre with nothing to distract her and feeling like she was going to cough her lungs up and spew all over the floor.

 

This wasn’t the worst Momo had felt, but it was slowly climbing the list of worst days as the hours dragged on. The deep pain in her chest wouldn’t go away no matter how much she tried to cough and swallow. She wanted to blame her boyfriend when he came back to pick her up at five. Yell at him and cry and make him feel guilty and useless. But really it was her that was useless. She was the one wasting away from the inside out.

 

Momo didn’t know how long she had been staring into nothing, but before she knew it, a customer was in front of her. A young woman and what she would only assume was her mother.

“Good afternoon.” Momo’s fake happy voice took over and her voice box went on autopilot. They were buying a few pairs of jeans, a white shirt that must have been for the woman’s husband or maybe the younger girl’s brother, and a pasty green hoodie.

 

Momo reached to take the clothes from the older woman. As she passed the hoodie, their hands accidentally touched which caused Momo to fumble and drop it pitifully on the counter. A tickle in her chest was building up. She hated being touched. She HATED it.

 

“Are you alright?” Momo’s eyes wandered over to the younger girl. She had the deepest, most sincere looking gaze, her eyebrows turned in slightly and her hands immediately picking up the hoodie and folding it neatly with the tag visible and accessible for Momo to scan.

 

Momo bowed and apologised, scanning the remainder of the clothes as quickly as she possibly could before she had to cough.

“H-have a good day.” She choked out after handing the bags to the older woman, making sure not to touch her and suppressing a violent cough.

 

“What’s your name?” The younger woman asked as she searched through her handbag for something. Momo wanted to murder her. Here she was, trying to do her job, about to die from a coughing fit and waiting for an opportunity to do so away from the customers, but she just wouldn’t go away!

 

“Hirai M-Momo.” She managed, tears coming to her eyes.

“Here Hirai-ssi.” The girl pulled a packet of tissues from her back, opened it and handed her one, making sure to place it on the counter so she wouldn’t risk touching Momo’s hand.

 

Momo didn’t have time to process the strange act of kindness before she snatched the tissue from the counter and coughed hard. Blood. Of course, there had to be blood when someone was watching. How embarrassing.

 

“Oh my…” The older woman cried, staring at the bloodied tissue in Momo’s hands and the stains on her teeth. “Dahyunie, we’ve got to go now.” She whispered, thinking Momo couldn’t hear. Of course, she could hear.

 

But the girl ignored the older woman, pulling a second tissue from the packet and placing it on the counter.

“On second thought,” She said, placing the entire packet down. “You can have them all. I’ll get you a drink of water.” She smiled, walking past the older woman who ran quickly away from Momo to catch up.

 

 

“Dahyun! Stop! What are you doing?” Dahyun’s mother took her by the sleeve before she could reach the vending machine just outside the entrance of the store. “That poor girl seems to have a disease of some sort. We should stay away! You don’t want to catch it.”

“I’m not going to catch it.” Dahyun sighed, pulling her arm away from her mother’s grip and approaching the machine, punching in the code for a bottle of water (what if it’s serious?). “I’m just helping her out.”

“We don’t want your baby catching anything!” Dahyun cringed, her hand automatically moving to rest on her stomach. She was glad it wasn’t visible yet.

“Don’t bring that up. I’m just helping someone out ok?”

 

Bending over, Dahyun picked up the water bottle from the slot and faced her mother.

“You start walking home. I’ll catch up.” She said and quickly walked back into the store before her mother could stop her.

 

The beautiful cahier (angel), Hirai Momo looked like a character from a video game that was awaiting a command. The tissues were gone. The entire packet, which meant she had either pocketed it, or used them all.  She stared at Dahyun with a slightly fearful expression as she approached with the bottle of water.

 

 

This is where it all began. Where all the odds were beaten to the dirt.

 

Love didn’t give Dahyun a choice despite her knowledge of her family’s hatred toward homouals.

Love didn’t give Momo a choice despite the warmth she felt when the only person she trusted to touch her – her boyfriend – held her hand.

 

 

Dahyun’s university lectures clashed with everything. They started at four and went through until six and at seven she had to go straight home to eat and study before sleeping. Not time for her to see or even to text her angel (Hirai Momo), whom she had convinced to give her number the day they had met.

 

Dahyun knew she was crazy for asking for a woman’s number when they had only just met, but there was just something about Momo that drew her to her. Something she couldn’t ignore. Like a constant nagging at the back of her brain, similar to her mother’s constant reminder that she was pregnant and should be sleeping more.

 

It had been close to a fortnight after she had asked for Momo’s number. They felt an immediate connection with each other.

 

Momo was two years older than Dahyun (she was 24) and had been working at the clothing store ever since she left school. She lived with her boyfriend (Kim Heechul) and had been dating him for three years (Dahyun couldn’t help but feel jealous). She liked to eat jokbal and chili crab and everything else under the sun, but these days she didn’t feel hungry. She used to dance, but now she seemed to have run out of stamina.

 

When Dahyun asked, why she was feeling so unwell and why she was coughing (up blood) that day, Momo had replied almost immediately with something that made her heart sink.

 

I have stage 2 lung cancer.

Oh. I’m sorry.

There’s nothing either of us could have done about it. Don’t be sorry.

 

It made sense then. Momo’s grim disposition and her sickness and coughing. Dahyun almost convinced herself to block Momo’s number and never communicate with her again. She hated the thought of her… dead. Dahyun barely knew her, but she had no doubt in her mind that if Momo were to die, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself. But at the same time, if she were to leave Momo and save herself from the loss of someone, she could have gotten close to, she