It was the night of Christmas eve, and instead of celebrating it within the four corners of the assigned white room, Sooyoung separated herself from the group for a while and is now walking back and forth outside of the hospital grounds where the garden's atmosphere surrounded her clouded and angered mind.

She hated this place. 

But what more she hated was the fact one of her friends landed here because of the insignificant carelessness of the staff.

She was biting on her thumb's nail, a bad habit, and the emotional guilt she was feeling was definitely not a good sign too.

" this " Sooyoung grumbled, scratching the back of neck out of frustration. Kicking a lone pebble, she finally settles herself on one of the benches stationed out in the garden in front of a small pond. Her mind retraces the ripples that her pebble created and played it over and over within her mind. She needed to be distracted, to calm her nerves. 

She doesn't want to bring this mood in Seungwan's room, so she excused herself, telling Seulgi that she'll just buy something from a vending machine nearby; intentionally leaving the words when she'll come back nor where she's exactly going. 

Another sigh reaches her chapped lips, mist forming and dissipating instantly as it appears.

A presence fractured her little bubble of moment. 

Her heart beats twice, before the melting voice reached her.

"Hey, you okay?" It was soft, protective and caring. It ached Sooyoung more than she initially encountered.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She side-eyed the woman wrapped in bundles, she finds it cute, additionally because of her height and unmatched features.

"By the look of your eyes, you seem tired," The woman gestures beside Sooyoung if she could sit, the latter scooted and let her sit down, "and angry" She chuckled, eyeing the gloveless hand and grabbed something from her pocket.

"Well, I am. But also because the world's just insufferable to live in. I'm also human you know, getting tired physically and emotionally as fast" Sooyoung chuckled solemnly, and the cold was parallel with what she was spouting and exuding.

"We can't help it sometimes. The only thing in life we can control is ourselves, and that's quite huge already"

Sooyoung nodded, leaning on her back as she looks up, snow falling gently, lightly and carelessly. She wishes that she can be that as well, to let the wind take her to any direction, to any destination far away from the matters that drags the humanity down the drain where the end is nearing (she doesn't want to believe that it will, but with the international news spreadin around like wildfire, it'll be hard not to).

"It's okay to tell me y'know" The woman said, vision focused on the girl whose guult was eating her up, "and it's not like it's your fault in the first place. Let's just be thankful that Seungwan's okay. Things could've been worse" 

"That's the point, Joohyun-unnie. It would have been worse, yet the station's taking it lightly as if it was not their fault in the first place!" Sooyoung heaved, head snapping at their leader's direction and the only thing she can do up to this point was to vent out all her frustrations, her rage and weakness, and the more she thinks about how she can't do anything to help her members, hurted her more than she can breathe.

"Sooyoung-ah…" Joohyun's brows furrowed worringly, hands trembling not only from the cold.

"We are supposed to be in our dorm right now, to celebrate our final moments for this year's Christmas, but instead we're right here, shivering from fear and in bitterness. Everything should've been within our schedule and the pre-recording went smoothly but then this happened! I… I just… I don't know… but this feeling of remorse is just getting increasingly tormenting the more I think how irresponsible they are and that Seungwan-unnie doesn't deserve any of this. Everything's just slipping out, and the only thing we can do is…" 

Then she stopped, her words stilled and unmoving. Sooyoung paused when she felt an embrace engulfing her, and the quiet hiccups and tremble that accompanied with it.

"J-Joohyun-unnie-"

"Sorry…let's just stay this way for a while" Joohyun muttered, her voice vibrating within the walls of Sooyoung's heart. The younger wrapped her arms around the smaller and reciprocated.

Ah, she almosts forgot that she wasn't the only one in pain.

Images began flashing in her mind. The hours when Joohyun's face when they rushed to the hospital, the hesitance and quiver she felt when they spoke with the doctor and the agony she can feel behind the eyes, through the lens of the camera from the television when she put on a facade to reassure the fans that everything's alright. Being the pillar of the group, it must've been more difficult trying to console each one of them that they should be thankful because Seungwan was okay. She placed sunshines on darkness unknowingly that Sooyoung forgot that these stitches she mended, was all because she too, was also scared. Many had happen during today, tonight, and maybe tomorrow as well. And the exhaustion was enough that they can feel their emotions riding them all at the edge.

"I'm sorry too" Sooyoung whispered, tightening the hug and kissing the crown of Joohyun's head with her fading warmth. Joohyun only sobbed, the sounds muffled by Sooyoung's coat.

And maybe Sooyoung just needed a reminder that she's not alone. That they can overcome this trial together.