Facing Mijoo’s offer of a deal, Yifan figured that he could either not do anything and keep getting harassed by her, or take the bet and count on the off chance that she would keep her word.

It was the latter that he went with.

Mijoo was pleased. Very pleased. But also somewhat surprised. She really did not think Yifan would be that easy. Perhaps he really was her little strap . From dusk till dawn, she had him all to herself, claiming him again and again and again, taking every piece of him until he had nothing more to give. It was the best night of her life as she spent it ing him into the mattress and practically every piece of furniture she owned till he was begging and crying, and then some more. Teasing him and edging him and making him scream, for release, for mercy, for more pleasure.

He knew what he had signed up for, from the moment he stepped into her penthouse suite for the final time. If he considered only the carnal pleasure he could get from this night, he would rate it 5 out of 5 stars, hands down. Even more if he could. His body absolutely loved it. She was extremely familiar with all his sensitive pleasure spots, and she remembered them too, stimulating him and pleasuring him like there was no tomorrow. Whenever she used his body for her pleasure, she was relentless, and put the ‘rough’ in ‘thorough’, just the way he liked it. Loved it. He almost did not want the sun to come up, wanting to stay in this high for a long, long time, blissed out. He wanted to belong to her completely, even tempted to forgive her and pardon all her shortcomings and crimes. After all, it felt so nice to have her in his arms. He wished she loved him. He wished she loved him enough to choose him over everyone else. He wished she loved him the way he loved her.

How he would love it if every night could be like this, if he could have her all to himself too. But all he could have was tonight.

And when Yifan went back to his place, he was not Fanfan anymore. He was never going to be Fanfan again. Limping and cautiously, very cautiously lifting himself onto the bed, he lied on his stomach and hugged a pillow tight. He ought to be glad that he never had to see her again — no more Mistress, not even Jung Mijoo, only someone from his past — but right now all he wanted to do was cry.

He loved her. He really did. Part of him still did. But he had to let go of all of that, and it hurt. It hurt him in a way that was beyond physical pain. As he sobbed, he groaned at his headache and tugged at his own hair in an attempt to make it go away. He thought maybe Mijoo would stick to being the liar that she was and keep contacting him anyway. At that thought, his head screamed ‘NO’, but his heart…

Now he was even surer that there was no way he could find the strength to block her from contacting him. Even as he feebly picked up his phone and tried, before so much as reaching her name on his contacts, he let out a whimper at the sight of Yixing’s name and cried even more loudly, hiccuping and unable to calm himself. All of a sudden, he was overwhelmed with disgust. Utterly disgusted with himself, with what he had done, so much that he wanted to throw up as if it could cleanse him, as if it could purge himself of the remnants of his affections and desires for her. How could he tell someone he liked them and then go and sleep with his ex, a pathological cheater and expert manipulator who was utterly toxic for him? Dammit, it felt so wrong now, especially since he knew that Yixing liked him back too. He would never be able to look Yixing in the eye again.

He knew from the start that he was just unwanted dirt and he could never be good enough for Yixing. He should have been mindful of that. He felt filthy, and growing stronger was the urge to punish himself somehow, and remind himself of how unworthy he was. He deserved to suffer and be miserable and forever alone.

Hissing as he shifted the pillow into another position, he sniffled as he tapped on the conversation with Yixing, ignoring the unread messages from him. Fresh tears rushed out from his eyes and he could barely see what he was typing but he continued anyway.

Yifan: I take back what I said last night about my feelings for you
Yifan: Please don’t contact me anymore
Yifan: I don’t ever want to see you again
Yifan: Goodbye.

When he could not word anymore, he made the decision to block Yixing. He put his phone down, and then his exhaustion got the better of him. He passed out, and hours later when he woke up it was to the irritating sound of his ringtone.

It hurt to keep his eyes open but he coerced himself into doing it anyway. The caller ID was Baekhyun, and Yifan could not remember if he had told Baek that he was not going to be in the studio today. But he also decided that he did not want to disappoint Baekhyun by being an irresponsible colleague and therefore adding Baekhyun to the list of people he had failed, so he answered the call.

“WU YIFAN!!!” A female voice bellowed at him. He jumped up in fright and hissed sharply in pain, pulling the phone away but even at arm length he could hear her loud and clear. “WHY THE  DID YOU DO THAT TO YIXING?!?! What the hell is wrong with you?!?! Do you have any idea how worried and upset you made him?! How DARE you do that to him and break his heart like that; you KNOW he likes you and this is how you treat him?! What the is wrong with you! I swear to god if you don’t unblock his and explain this ing mess and apologize to him on your ing knees I will personally kick you in the balls and yo— oh my god, Solbi