"Soo, babe, please open the door." A couple of knocks is followed by more pleads. "Kyungsoo, let's talk. Please. Let me explain."

 

What was supposed to be a fun celebration for their 4th month together ended up to be the worst day for him.

ㅡㅡ
 

Earlier today, they bumped into his highschool best friend at the university to see someone. He asked Baekhyun to go and have lunch with them while waiting for his friend's boyfriend who came to join them at their table.

 

Little did they know that Baekhyun was planning to break up with Chanyeol and the guy did so right in front of him and his own 4-month boyfriend, Jongin, who was also in the senior class back in highschool.

 

To break the awkwardness between them, Jongin tried to make the mood lighter with a joke, saying it must be a prank and is recorded somewhere.

 

"Shut up, Kim. You're the real reason why he's breaking up with me." Chanyeol hissed.

 

"What now?" He blurted out, sparing his best friend and his boyfriend glances.

 

Jongin awkwardly laughs at the accusation. "What?"

 

"Before you graduated highschool, you told Baekhyun you have feelings for him and a few months ago, you met him again and said the same thing." His best friend's boyfriend, maybe now ex-boyfriend pointed at Jongin. "You ruined this."

 

His eyes set on his lover who looked nothing else but guilty. "Is it true?"

 

"Yes," came the answer. "But that was months ago!"

 

"If you didn't tell him the second time, he wouldn't find himself confused at all." Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun. "I know you like him too."

 

"I never said that!" His best friend retorts.

 

"But you do! You wouldn't be this confused if you don't!"

 

He saw it too. It suddenly made sense how Jongin cane out of nowhere and hung out with him, two months into his college school year. Back then, he and his best friend were still in contact so often.

 

Jongin used him to get to Baekhyun but when it failed, he unknowingly fell into the trap.

 

ㅡㅡ

 

He doesn't know what happened next but he finds himself back at the dorm, locked in his room. It's a good thing his roommate is out and won't be back until late this evening so he doesn't have to open the door and see his boyfriend.

 

Boyfriend? It doesn't feel like that anymore. He's just a rebound.

 

"Kyungsoo, please." Jongin tried to turn the doorknob to no avail. "Baby."

 

He picks up his phone and blasts a random rock music to overlap the voice from the other side of the door.

 

Lying on his bed, he cries himself to sleep. As silly as it sounds, literally, he's crying with a rock music playing in his room.

 

A while later, he wakes up to a dark and quiet room. His phone must have ran out of battery and Jongin has left the dorm.

 

He hears keys jingling and the door quietly opens.

 

"Soo? You're here?" Yixing asks, turning the lights on and he winces. "What happened? Your eyes are puffy but you still look adorable."

 

He sniffles and smiles, sitting up on his bed as his roommate locks the door. "Nah. Just discovered my boyfriend and my best friend could be dating right now."

 

"Huh? What? When? Where? How?" The Chinese guy tosses his bag and books on his own bed before sitting next to him.

 

"Well, apparently Jongin likes Baekhyun and vice-versa. I just don't know how I Iet myself get into this mess."

 

"So Jongin still likes him? Oh no. That's bad. I'm going to kick his !" Yixing's Mandarin accent is still noticeable and it makes him laugh. "I'm serious but I'm glad you're feeling better."

 

"Thanks, Xing."

 

"Do you want to go eat dinner? I still haven't had mine yet too."

 

"I don't want to go out though."

 

"Then we'll have it delivered! Also, I have borrowed Sehun's external harddrive so we can watch a movie to get your mind off your handsome yet jerk of a boyfriend."

 

"Yixing."

 

"What? Everyone knows he's handsome but mine's more handsome because, you know, he's my boyfriend. I am biased." His roommate just knows how to make him feel better and even works much effectively than pain relievers.

 

In less than five minutes after the order was made, a knock comes. "I'll get it, Soo." Yixing passes him the laptop and he starts browsing on the movie collection.

 

"Hey! That was fastㅡ oh, hi."

 

"I bought food for Kyungsoo," Jongin's voice echoes through the quiet room.

 

He looks up from the laptop and he can see the owner of the voice through the small gap of the ajar door.

 

"He's not here," Yixing boldly says though they both know Jongin can see him.

 

"He's theㅡ."

 

"That's a hologram. I am an engineer. I have invented a perfect one of my roommate."

 

"Just give this to him."

 

"Uh, we're two in this room. It's two sets of dinner or you're taking it back to your dorm."

 

It amazes him how Yixing can be so overprotective of him. The older is only a year ahead of him. He's very sweet and friendly. Right now, very playful.

 

He can see Jongin trying to look at him but his roommate attempts to close the door, making his boyfriend-not-anymore huff and almost lose his hand if the Chinese guy really has shut the door. "Soo! Baby, let's talk! Please!"

 

For the moment, he can't bear to meet with the guy's eyes so he ignores him and pretends to browse on the movie collection when he's just absentmindedly pressing the down arrow button.

 

He still can't accept how he's been fooled. Jongin got a lot of his firsts and he thought everything was genuine between them. User.

 

"Jongin, look, he doesn't want to talk to you. Give him time and we already ordered food but, i'll take this. Thanks. Bye."

 

He hears the door close, followed by the locking click. Yixing has set down a bag of take-home food on his desk. "I know I said he's a jerk but I think he deserves a chance to explain."

 

Maybe he will hear that explanation but not anytime soon.

ㅡㅡ


 

Kyungsoo starts to wonder. In the 4 months they've been dating, how much of it was real when his boyfriend had someone else in his mind and that someone else is no other than his best friend?

 

He gets a text from Baekhyun.

 

Soo, I know what you're thinking but I swear, there's nothing going on between me and Jongin.

 

I admit I used to like Jongin but I love Chanyeol. I don't know if you're going to believe me but you know me. We're best of friends, I would never do anything to risk our friendship. There was just a lot going on between me and Chanyeol and I didn't know how he came up with that assumption. I'm sorry.

 

He also got texts from Jongin but he didn't receive them until the next morning when he finally charged his phone. He hasn't read them yet and that can wait.

 

The focus right now is his boring minor class.

 

It's too boring his mind reroutes back to his relationship issue. It still hurts since it literally just happened yesterday. He manages to compose himself and it's a good thing he doesn't easily cry over things.

 

Except yesterday when he was so overwhelmed but once is enough. There's no way he's going to waste his tears for undeserving people.

 

On the corner of his eyes, he spots a familiar figure standing outside the room, not-so-stealthily trying to look for him.

 

He's sure Jongin's going to leave in a few minutes since his class just started. There's no way the guy will wait for him for two hours.

 

And he's wrong.

 

Jongin just loitering outside the classroom is taking his attention from the class. His boyfriend-not-anymore hasn't moved from the bench outside.

 

He doesn't try avoiding him but he simply doesn't acknowledge the other's presence when he comes out of the room after class and the taller quietly walks with him.

 

Neither of them has a class until 5pm.

 

When he's nearing his dorm, Jongin finally speaks, catching up to him. "You're not replying to my texts." When he doesn't give a response, the taller adds, "Babe, I'm sorry."

 

"Stop calling me that!" He snaps, halting on his feet and gives the other a glare. "Leave me alone! I'm done with you!"

 

"Whaㅡ you're breaking up with me?"

 

"Yes. Now stop following me."

 

"Kyungsoo!"

 

He feels a hand on his wrist. Even at this situation, Jongin holds him gently, like he always does.

 

"Please, just let me explain."

 

"I don't want to hear it."

 

"Then I won't leave you alone until you hear me out." Jongin's tone is stern. "I'm not letting you end this without letting me explain my side. I don't care if you don't want me anymore but I just want you to know what happened."

 

"Fine."

ㅡㅡ

 

He's in Jongin's room, in bed to be exact.

 

There's an argument in his head whether he still would want to be in contact with the bed where a lot of his firsts had happened.

 

Maybe after all, he's not the only one who got laid there. Of course, he isn't. Jongin has flings before him.

 

Since Jongin doesn't stay in a dorm, they don't have to worry about someone barging in. The apartment is a small studio unit but it's enough for a solo resident like Jongin who doesn't treat it like home. It's merely a place he stays in when he's not in the university.

 

When the taller goes to lock the door, he quickly shifts from the bed to the floor just next to it. He can tell Jongin is trying not to roll his eyes at his immaturity.

 

"So, what do you want to know?" The taller joins him on the floor, facing him.

 

"FYI, you took me here so you could talk, not the other way around."

 

"Look, Babe, Iㅡ."

 

"I told you, stop calling me that."

 

"You're being so unreasonable right now."

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I wasn't the one who was hiding something from my boyfriend!"

 

Jongin's lips are pursed, a sign that Kyungsoo knows so well. The guy is holding back from saying more and it could be mean things.

 

Softly and calmly, this time he speaks, "Were you even planning to tell at all?

 

"Yes." The answer is quick. "I do plan on telling you but when I am sure we are okay."

 

"Okay? We've been okay until yesterday."

 

"What I mean is, when we finally find ourselves secured with each other. I also don't want to ruin things between you and your best friend. I know how much he matters to you."

 

With warm hands, Jongin holds his, eyes still locked on each other's. "Soo, I don't want to keep things from you but I was just waiting for the right time and I didn't want it to happen that way. I know I had a crush on Baekhyun andㅡ."

 

"You used me to get to him," he softly interrupts, pulling his hands back but Jongin doesn't let him go.

 

"Yes. That was the plan."

 

"Cool. You're a good player, I am a sore loser. Game well played." He once again attempts to pull his hands back and leave but fails. Again.

 

"Kyungsoo, listen to me. When I asked you that night on a date, I meant it. I liked hanging out with you. I found myself getting more excited to see you than I used to want to see Baekhyun. Eventually it didn't matter if he couldn't make it as long as you're there."

 

He doesn't say anything, mind digging on his memory on that special night. That night, he thought Jongin looked really handsome in his plain white sweater. "Wait. You knew Baekhyun was already with Chanyeol and you were still trying to hit on him? That's ed up."

 

"That's…" the taller sighs, "that's not the issue here. I don't see Baekhyun that way anymore. I'm serious with you, Soo. Never in my mind I thought of fooling around behind your back."

 

"But you thought of wooing someone else's boyfriend, how do you think I should take your word on that? Wait, that doesn't matter. We're done."

 

"I love you."

 

It's the first time he hears the other tell him the 3 words.

 

He really can't trust that right now. It's not just about the story that unfolded between his boyfriend and best friend. It's all about his trust on the person he thought of possibly spending the future with.

 

"I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you."

ㅡㅡ


 

It's been almost a week since the last time he had any contact with Jongin. The weekend seriously . He went back home without any word or text from his boyfriend.

 

Yes, they're still boyfriends. He has decided before he left Jongin's apartment that the taller deserves a second chance. After all, Jongin was nothing short of sweet and caring for him.

 

Yixing told him it's natural to get mad at first but it's not a good idea to make decisions on impulse.

 

But it really right now. He's yearning for some affection and he isn't going to contact his boyfriend first though he really wants to know what the other's been doing lately.

 

He may or may not have been serious when he told the taller he doesn't want to hear anything from him. Since that's the last thing he said before they parted ways, Jongin must think it's a way to prove he loves him.

 

Really?

Seriously?

Is Jongin dumb?

Doesn't he miss him too?

 

He just finished his classes and was about to take a nap when his roommate arrives shortly after. "You're early."

 

"Ah, well, uhm…" Yixing trails and he can clearly see the hesitation to share something. "The prof's not around and I wasn't planning to watch Sehun practice for hours."

 

"Practice forㅡah, right." He remembers Jongin has mentioned about the dance competition the university wanted them to join. "Maybe that's why he's been busy," he tells himself.

 

"Yeah, their dance coach is ten times more strict."

 

He nods and settles on his bed, ready to take a nap so he can study well later.

 

"Soo, I'm really caught in-between but I think I can deal with the consequences."

 

He already has his eyes closed and comfy in bed but something is telling him he shouldn't be feeling carefree right now. Something, or someone, in the for of his roommate.

 

"Jongin dropped out of the dance troupe."

 

His eyes snap open in an instant. "What?" He knows by heart that it's the last thing Jongin will ever want. Hell, that guy will choose dancing over his own boyfriend. "WHAT?!"

 

He's already seated, searching for his phone in his bag.

 

"He asked me not to tell you but I don't think I can bear to keep it from you," Yixing tells him, sitting on his own bed. "There's a completely rational reason for that. Please don't be harsh on him."

 

The number is already dialed but it directs him to voicemail. He doesn't care what Jongin will tell him. He needs to see his boyfriend right now.

ㅡㅡ

 

Jongin isn't in his apartment when Kyungsoo gets there.

 

He keeps on calling the taller's phone but it also keeps redirecting him to voicemail.

 

It's another hour when his boyfriend finally comes into view from the elevator and the first thing he notices is the bag being dragged on the floor. Jongin stops mid-way when he's spotted sitting outside the door.

 

"I've been calling you," he says, getting up from the floor.

 

"My phone's in silent mode," the taller answers softly. Weakly, to properly describe it. Jongin closes the gap between them, letting go of the backpack and fishes his keys in his pocket.

 

All the while, Kyungsoo observes.

 

Jongin lets him in and he doesn't miss the pained expression his boyfriend is trying to suppress when the taller picks up the bag.

 

"Yixing told me you quit dancing."

 

"No, uh, I mean not dancing. Just the troupe," Jongin answers, heading towards the bed right after closing the door and leaving the bag on the way.

 

He stands in front of his boyfriend, worried. He gets more uneasy when Jongin's avoiding his gaze. "What happened?"

 

"I just had a misunderstanding with the coach. It's not a big deal." This time, the taller looks at him with a smile and a hand towards him. "You came to see me? Missed me?"

 

"Yeah," he admits. "But I'm still upset with you."

 

"I know."

 

He holds the hand that his boyfriend offers, another hand on the taller's arm. "What else happened? Where does it hurt?"

 

"Hmm, my boyfriend is upset with me and my heart hurts."

 

"Jongin." The answer only makes it more suspicious and it's not working for him. "I'm serious."

 

"If I tell you, would you be less upset with me?"

 

"Maybe if you stop frustrating me," he warns.

 

"My shoulder. I slipped during practice then a heated argument with the coach regarding my solo performance. I wanted to stick with your favorite song but he said I can't. He made me choose between your favorite song and a crappy solo."

 

His favorite song is a ballad and Jongin wants to dance with it to a competition. If it's not the sweetest thing his boyfriend wanted to do, then the coach can choke.

 

He softens, partly because his boyfriend is already in pain. "Your injury, it's not serious, right?"

 

"Nah. It's fine. It's just bruised. Actually, now that you're here, I don't feel the pain anymore."

 

"You're so cheesy."

 

"I made you say yes to a lot of dates."

 

He sits next to the taller, careful not to hurt or even just touch either of the shoulders. "True. You're my first boyfriend, I didn't have a standard back then."

 

"That is so mean. My heart hurts again."

 

"You're so overdramatic." He chuckles and Jongin gives him a grin. "I missed this. I missed us."

 

"I missed you. I was hoping my solo performance would make it up to you but I can't do that anymore."

 

He leans closer, pressing a chaste kiss on the taller's lips, which Jongin tries to get more but he has pulled away quickly. "I may have been overthinking what happened last week. I'm sorry."

 

"You believe me now?"

 

"Yeah. It wasn't just about you and Baekhyun. I know I can't be sure of what happens in the future with you. All I know is I just have to trust you. The past is past. I've seen how you treated me well and there's no reason for me to doubt you."

 

His boyfriend grips his hand tightly, making him aware that their hands are still linked. "That's all that matters to me, Soo. I promise to tell you everything you need to know from now on. I love you."

 

Now, he doesn't have second thoughts about those three words.

 

"I love you too, Jongin."