Lucas had been offering to pick him up from work for weeks. It was getting cold he’d say, and wasn’t walking getting tiring? But Jungwoo didn’t mind the cold. He always made sure to wrap up warm, the knee length padded jacket he’d bought for the winter was so well-insulated it felt like he was wearing a sleeping bag whenever he went outside and when he’d lost a glove Lucas had bought him a whole new hat, scarf and gloves set. If anything he was more likely to overheat on the way home than freeze.

And as for getting tired, while yes he’d just hit seven months pregnant, it still only took him about twenty minutes to walk from the office to their apartment at the most. Their daughter might be getting bigger by the day but she wasn’t big enough yet to be slowing him down. And he enjoyed walking home, if work had been stressful it gave him a chance to wind down and the route was really quite beautiful. The main road he walked along was tree lined, leafy and green in the summer, all crisp yellows and deep reds in the autumn and even now In late December the trees were still pretty because they were draped in glittering Christmas lights. 

The shops he had to walk past too, their windows were lit up and sparkling and magical. Christmas trees, fake snow, curtains of lights… there was so much to look at. The toy shop halfway down the street was one of his favourites. He could never keep himself from stopping to look. They’d have a daughter soon, their own little girl, and he wanted to buy her everything. The dolls, the teddy bears, the set of red and green building blocks, the train track with the red steam train, complete with snow stopped trees and station. She didn’t need any of it yet, she wasn’t going to be with them until after Christmas and when she did arrive she wasn’t going to be able to play with any of it. But it was all so cute. And he couldn’t wait until she could. It hadn’t been a planned pregnancy but from the moment he’d found out he was expecting a baby of his own he’d been looking forward to the future. He’d talked about children with Lucas before but he hadn’t realised how much he wanted to be a parent until he’d known it was going to happen and soon. He already loved his little girl more than he’d loved anyone or anything and he was going to make sure she had the best of everything, and make sure to be the best parent he could be. He couldn’t wait to hold her and care for her and play with her… Lucas couldn’t either. It was all he talked about lately, what it was going to be like once she arrived, what kind of family they were going to be. And walking past the toyshop window always made Jungwoo think about how excited they both were to meet her and that never failed to bring a smile to his face.

That smile never lasted very long though, or it hadn’t for the last few weeks anyway. Because the last shop Jungwoo had to walk past before turning into their street was the bakery on the corner. Now this used to be another shop window that would be make him slow to a stop. Earlier on in his pregnancy he’d often be so tempted by the display in the window that he’d go in. He’d never had a particularly sweet tooth before but after his morning sickness had faded and his appetite had returned the bakery had become a problem. Brownies, cookies, cheesecake, doughnuts, it didn’t matter what it was, if it was baked and full of sugar he wanted to eat it more than he wanted to eat anything else. Which had been fine in the beginning. He ate plenty of healthier and more nutritional food too, a treat once in a while wouldn’t hurt him. But then his doctor had told him he wanted to test him for gestational diabetes. It wasn’t something he’d usually recommend, Jungwoo was young and didn’t have a particularly high BMI before becoming pregnant. But he had mentioned his mother had recently been diagnosed with diabetes. So the test had been ordered, the doctor saying it was unlikely to be an issue, they rarely screened for it in people under twenty five, but they should check to be on the safe side. And much to Jungwoo’s surprise his blood sugar levels had been abnormal.  

So now everything he’d been craving, and still was craving, was a big no. He was meant to be managing his blood sugar levels by managing his diet and that meant cutting out everything displayed in the bakery window. So while he now sometimes still slowed to a stop as he passed, it was only so he could glare moodily at the pastries and cakes set out in front of him and inwardly curse the fact he couldn’t eat any of them. Being pregnant he’d find himself thinking and whenever he caught himself doing this he inevitably felt guilty. It was selfish thinking. Pregnancy didn’t . He was growing a person, that was amazing. He was responsible for a whole new life, his little girl’s life, and her health was far more important than occasionally being able to eat a chocolate brownie. 

So by the time he reached their apartment door he was more often than not frowning, feeling somewhat annoyed by the situation but mostly feeling annoyed with himself. Yes, not being allowed to eat what he wanted to was far from ideal but he didn’t have to be so childish about it. He was an adult, he was going to be someone’s mother soon. He needed to grow up and get over it.

But most of the time this didn’t last long because Lucas would be there to greet him as soon as he walked through the door, all smiles and full of questions, wanting to know how his day had been and how he was feeling. And it was hard to stay sulky when his boyfriend was there, making him feel so wanted and loved. 

Today though, there was no Lucas waiting for him as he walked through the door and Jungwoo’s frown momentarily deepened. His boyfriend’s coat was hanging right inside the door, his shoes were sitting in the shoe rack. He was obviously home. So where was he? Maybe he just didn’t care that he was home Jungwoo thought sourly. Maybe pretending to be excited to see him every day was getting old.

Then as he ped his jacket, pout still on his face, he noticed that there was music sounding from the kitchen. He could also see that the kitchen door was closed. Maybe Lucas deserved the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he hadn’t heard the front door open and that was why he hadn’t come out to say hello.

Feeling a little better about things, he hung his coat on the hook beside Lucas’ and looked down at his feet. He sighed. He was going to have to take his shoes off by himself he realised. While his daughter wasn’t big enough yet to make walking home a problem she was big enough that untying his own shoelaces was starting to become a task that he had to mentally prepare himself for before he attempted it. He was carrying high or so people kept telling him and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, and as much as he liked to tell Lucas off for babying him when he offered to remove his shoes for him when he got home, bending was starting to become a little tricky. So it was with some huffing and puffing that he lowered himself to sit on the bench in their hallway and brought his legs up so he could start working on his shoelaces.

And he was still frowning slightly as he made his way down the hall to find his boyfriend. Lucas always finished work before he did and Jungwoo always looked forward to him being there to say hi, Lucas liked to about this, about how as soon as his coat and shoes were off Jungwoo would be linking their arms together or be pulling him in for a kiss or a hug or both. Jungwoo generally ignored the teasing. He’d always been affectionate, Lucas had known that about him before they’d even become a couple, and yes Jungwoo found that the further he progressed in his pregnancy the closer he wanted to be to his boyfriend but Lucas didn’t really seem to mind the increased clinginess. In fact he was becoming increasingly clingy himself, liking to have an arm around Jungwoo or a hand on his boyfriend’s bump so he could be closer to their little girl if at all possible. So why he wasn’t there to meet him today Jungwoo didn’t know.

But as he opened the kitchen door and was hit by a wall of sound he realised that Lucas just hadn’t heard him. How could he have when the “Last Christmas” was playing so loudly from the wireless bluetooth speaker on the kitchen side? And not only was the music turned up ridiculously loud but Lucas was singing along too. He was standing in the middle of the room, red and white dotty apron tied around his waist, using a wooden spoon as a makeshift microphone, so caught up in his ‘performance’ that he hadn’t yet noticed that Jungwoo was watching him from the doorway.

Jungwoo had to admit his boyfriend was being kind of adorable and his rendition of ‘Last Christmas’ wasn’t all that bad, it was actually fairly entertaining. But he also really wanted to know why Lucas was in the kitchen in the first place. He usually waited until they were both home before he started dinner so they could decide what they wanted to eat together. And on the rare occasion that he didn’t want to wait he’d text Jungwoo to let him know what he was planning to make and Jungwoo hadn’t received any such message today. So curiosity overriding the urge he had to stand there watching his boyfriend sing Christmas songs in an overdramatic fashion, Jungwoo took a step further into the room and cleared his throat.

Lucas gave such an exaggerated jolt of surprise, his eyes widening comically, the spoon he’d been holding clattering to the floor as he jumped, and Jungwoo couldn’t help laughing. 

“You almost gave me a heart attack.” Lucas grumbled, forehead wrinkling as he levelled a frown at his boyfriend.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Jungwoo told him, still smiling like an idiot. Lucas was stupidly cute when he sulked. “And don’t blame me. If you hadn’t turned the music up so loud you’d have heard me come in the door.” He added, picking up Lucas’ phone from the kitchen counter so he could turn the volume down.

And Lucas’ frown immediately cleared. He never could stay annoyed for long. “Sorry.” He said. “I didn’t realise what time it was, if I had I’d have made sure to come out and say hello.” He said, picking up the dropped spoon from the floor and placing it beside the sink. “How did your day go? Did our baby girl behave herself?” He asked, gaze travelling to Jungwoo’s bump, “She wasn’t too much of a distraction today, was she?”

It was a fair question. Jungwoo had come trudging through the front door yesterday, tired and frustrated. Tired because he hadn’t slept well the night before, it was getting harder and harder to get comfortable at night, and frustrated because for the whole hour he’d been sat in his department’s weekly planning meeting their little girl had been doing acrobatics, and as much as he usually appreciated her reminding him of her presence it had been more than a little distracting. But today there’d been no planning meeting and she’d been generally well behaved so he told Lucas so. “Actually she’s been fairly quiet.” He said, a hand going to smooth the fabric of his sweater over his bump.  “I think she tired herself out yesterday.”

And Lucas made his way across the room to stand in front of him, holding his own hand against his boyfriend’s rounded belly. “She has been moving though hasn’t she?” He asked, looking up at him with worry in his eyes. “She’s not been completely still…”

“No, no, not completely still.” Jungwoo was quick to reassure him, finding Lucas’ concern to be endearing. He cared about their daughter so much already and she wasn’t even here yet. “She’s been moving around still, kicked me hard enough earlier to make me jump, she just hasn’t been quite as energetic as yesterday.”

And is if sensing that her father needed some reassurance their little girl stretched out, causing Jungwoo’s stomach to ripple under his hand.

“There she is,”  Lucas said, smiling now, hand not moving from his bump “she’s getting so big, isn’t she?”

“Pretty big.” Jungwoo conceded. “But what’s all this?” He asked, nodding at a kitchen side covered in mixing bowls and kitchen utensils. “Were you starting on dinner without me?”

“Not dinner, not yet.” Lucas said, taking a step back, smile widening. “I was waiting for you to get home so I could ask you what you wanted. Before you did though I thought I’d make you something better than dinner.”

And it was then that Jungwoo realised what the kitchen smelled like. “Are you baking?” He asked incredulously, turning accusing eyes onto Lucas.

“Yes.” Lucas told him, sounding far prouder than Jungwoo thought he had any right to sound. What was wrong with him? Was he trying to upset him?

“Why would you do that?” He asked, voice slightly more high pitched than he’d intended it to be.”You know I can’t eat that kind of stuff.”

“No, but you can…” Lucas was quick to say.

But Jungwoo was even quicker to interrupt. “Okay, technically I can.” He agreed, he could eat whatever he wanted as long as he did it in moderation. The problem was he was no good at moderation. Avoiding high sugar food altogether was easier and far less painful than the agony of being allowed one cookie then being told no more. Didn’t Lucas get that? Apparently not, he guessed he’d have to explain it to him. “But I shouldn’t.” He told him. “Because if I eat one doughnut or one cookie or whatever I’ll want to eat them all. And I can’t and that and if more that I let it annoy me because the baby’s more important and I should care more about her health than not being able to eat what I want but I can’t …”

“Hey,” Lucas exclaimed when it became evident that his boyfriend wasn’t going to stop talking if he didn’t step in, “I know. I know it .” He told him, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder in a bid to calm him down, “But if you’d just let me finish…”

And realising he’d been on the way to working himself up into a state over something as silly as only being able to eat one cookie at a time a wave of embarrassment washed over Jungwoo and he instantly deflated. “Sorry… I’m sorry…” he said, feeling incredibly stupid, “… go on. What were you going to say?”

“I was going to say…” Lucas said slowly, hand still on his shoulder, “… that I made low sugar chocolate brownies so you can have as many as you like without feeling guilty.”

“Really?” Jungwoo asked, beyond surprised. A few days ago he’d mentioned that the brownies in the bakery window had been tormenting him on his walk home but he hadn’t really thought Lucas had been listening at the time, they’d been sitting on the couch, Lucas with a hand on his belly as he waited for the baby to kick so he hadn’t thought he’d had his full attention. But apparently he’d been wrong.

“Well, maybe not as many as you want....” Lucas amended, “… that still wouldn’t be good for you. But you can definitely have more than one.”

This statement was followed by a ring from the oven as the timer sounded and Lucas was instantly turning, picking up the oven gloves from the kitchen side. “You didn’t have to do that.” Jungwoo told him as he watched him open the oven door and the kitchen was flooded with the smell of chocolate. It was enough to make his stomach rumble and he was glad Lucas wasn’t close enough to hear it, he’d only have started teasing him if he had been.

“You do nice things for me all the time.” Lucas reminded him as he removed a baking tray from the oven and placed it on the kitchen counter. “Do you do it because you have to?”

“Well… no.” Jungwoo admitted. “I do it because I want to.”

“There you go then,” Lucas told him, sounding pleased with himself, “that’s why I do nice things for you too. Because I want to… and because I love you.”

And Jungwoo made his way across the room to stand beside him, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I love you too.” He said with a smile. “I still can’t believe you baked for me.”

“Of course I did. I know it’s been tough for you the last couple of weeks and I wanted to cheer you up.” Lucas explained brightly.

“You’re getting really sappy in your old age aren’t you?” Jungwoo noted with a smile. Lucas had always been good to him but lately he’d been going out of his way to make him happy. It was cute.

“Old age?” Lucas retorted, unimpressed. “You’re older than I am, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Not much. And not at heart.” Jungwoo insisted. “But if it’s not your age making you act sappy…” he added before Lucas could argue any further ”… then it must be the baby. You’re not going to stop being nice to me once she’s here, are you?”

“Of course not.” Lucas told him, looking horrified at the very suggestion.

“Are you sure?” Jungwoo asked, amused by how seriously Lucas was taking the question. 

“I’m sure.” Lucas said, a hand coming to rest on Jungwoo’s hip as he pulled him closer. “The fact you’re carrying our baby, that’s kind of amazing. But the fact you decided it was me you wanted to be with, that’s kind of amazing too, baby or no baby.”

Jungwoo’s smile widened. “What is with you today?” While Lucas wasn’t usually shy about talking about his feelings he wasn’t often quite so sentimental. 

“I’ve missed you.” Lucas admitted quietly, looking slightly flustered now. “And I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no it’s not a bad thing.” Jungwoo assured him, his hand going to he nape of his boyfriend’s neck so he could twist his fingers in his hair. He’d always like playing with Lucas’ hair. “You mean a lot to me too.” He added. 

Lucas’ response to this was to pull him as close as was possible with a baby between them, and to kiss him firmly on the mouth. 

And Jungwoo found his grip on Lucas’ hair tightening as he kissed him back, brownies forgotten.