[4]

Chaeyeon knows this is her last chance with her dream. Knows that she has to give her best, her everything in here. She knows about the risks when her company announced the news to them. Knows how much is at stake here when she and her other labelmates accepted the offer, going into a battle against 90 or so other, more beautiful and talented girls.

“You can do this.” She mutters to herself, swallowing the lump that formed in after seeing other trainees stand up from their seats to greet her company. It seemed intimidating, especially when her eyes caught the sight of the seat at the top, basking in its all glory where most girls attempt to seat but none had dared to stay. “I can do this,” she says like a prayer.

Because goddamn, this is her third time participating in a survival show, and hopefully, her last because Chaeyeon will seriously believe that she is cursed and will never debut. She sighs for the fourth time that day since the start of practice for the title song, leans her head back against the mirror of the practice room as beads of sweat drips down her face, wetting her face mask in the process.

A small cough is let out from her body and she releases a fifth sigh. She thinks she's really unlucky and may give Lee Kwangsoo a good run for his money because of course she's sick for the first day of filming. Though the prickling pain on her arms and legs from practicing was a pleasant distraction from her depressing thoughts, grounding her into reality and instead focuses on the other girls practicing on their own.

She sees Lee Kaeun doing the same part of the finger-diamond over and over again, perfecting each tries in front of the mirror beside her. Kaeun was a good unnie, doesn't seem to be that competitive compared to the other girls but she feels the desperation to debut again- to prove herself. Because even though Kaeun had already debuted, god knows how long had she been in the dungeon of Pledis that she might as well been considered a trainee- so Chaeyeon thinks she knows that desperate feeling as well. She turns her head to the side, flustered, when the older girl catches her eyes and smiles that friendly smile she's famous for while radiating concern on her eyes at the same time. Kaeun unnie is too kind.

A water bottle appears into her line of sight then. She looks up to see the beaming face of Kwon Eunbi and she holds her breath unconsciously. Eunbi unnie is so beautiful; resembles Irene sunbaenim a lot.

"Are you okay? I've noticed you've been sitting here for a while. I know you're still sick." Eunbi pushes the water bottle to her again. She accepts it with a grateful nod and burning cheeks before drinking it like she's been dehydrated for days. The older girl sits parallel to her, stretching her sore legs. "Hopefully, you're finally giving yourself a break after memorizing the choreography and practicing for hours ever since the teachers left us. You won't feel better if you push yourself."

Chaeyeon, in her twisted sense, thinks that sick or not, she needs to push herself in order to debut. But of course she wouldn't say that out loud for the fear of making Eunbi angry so she says, "Sorry unnie. I'll try my best to not faint." The glare thrown at her was scary but Chaeyeon only laughs until a chuckle breaks from the stoic face of the Woollim trainee. Eunbi then shakes her head, places it on her knees as a comfortable silence settles among them.

From the corner of her eyes, Chaeyeon sees the girl that people were talking about ever since she stepped out with the red beret, standing out with her captivating beauty from the rest of the girls, proceeding to surprise them, and even herself, when she got into A class. Eunbi also looks at the Japanese trainee, because no one can't really deny how entrancing Miyawaki Sakura is. There is fire in her eyes, charisma in how she presents herself, and the professional aura she carries from years of experience as an idol in Japan. Eunbi respects how Sakura is willing to start again in a foreign country despite having an already established name as an idol just to challenge and improve herself.

Chaeyeon doesn't really know much about the other trainee. She just knows that Sakura is from a group called HKT48 and that she's struggling with the sudden change of pace in the training system of Korea. She feels bad, really. Even more so when the said girl went outside to practice alone, practicing the same part for a few minutes before completely stopping. She feels more than sees the hopelessness on her petite figure, the fatigue she knows is seeping onto her muscles, and Chaeyeon's chest tightens for some reason when Sakura disappeared from their view.

"I want to help her but I can't speak Japanese. It also doesn't help that she seems to prefer being alone." Eunbi whispers sadly, more to herself but Chaeyeon hears it anyway. She contemplates about it, sighs for the sixth time before standing up and stretching. Eunbi looks at her in confusion but releases a grin when the feather-like girl went out the room.

"You're a good kid, Lee Chaeyeon."

------

Sakura is starting to doubt her decision to participate in this show. Clearly, there’s a huge difference between the Japanese and Korean trainees in terms of skills, and Sakura feels more frustrated with herself because she feels like the seven years she gave to AKB and HKT are useless. The gap is just too much, too suffocating for her.  She sees her fellow members struggle, sees them cry in frustration and disappointment, and then she feels anger.

Anger that pushes her to practice a choreography she’s only seen for a few times and memorize lyrics of another language that leaves her tongue in tangles.

Anger that pushes her to isolate herself to compensate for the fact that Jurina and she are expected to carry the name of 48g.

And anger that pushes her to stop her movements suddenly. For a few minutes, she was completely motionless before she descended the stairs and s