March

Wendy was aware that the first months wouldn’t exactly be the easiest, everything was new to her. New neighborhood, new people, new phase in life—college was all about new beginnings. But the knowledge didn’t stop her from getting anxious at the thought of tonight’s dinner.

The Business Administration department had organized a dinner on the very first day of class to give freshmen the chance to meet the rest of the students in their batch, and their respective sophomore buddies. And although Wendy was definitely thankful for the opportunity to make some new friends, the mere thought of meeting so many people at once kind of terrified her.

The good news was that she had technically already made a new friend and that meant she wouldn’t be arriving by herself to the event. Earlier that day, she had arrived rather early to her first class of the semester. She had the mixture of anxiety and excitement bubbling inside her all night to blame for that, she had barely slept five hours. Wendy expected to be the only student to arrive thirty minutes early to a first period class but there was already someone sitting inside, near the area where she usually liked seating—at the very front but to the side, left of the center. Wendy hesitated for a moment before approaching, opting to seat one row behind the girl. But said girl turned around at the noise of the classroom door opening, catching Wendy’s uncertain steps, and waved at Wendy. So, Wendy waved back, politely.

“Hi, I’m Sejoeong,” the girl offered with an earnest smile. “I guess I’m not the only early bird. Bet you didn’t catch much sleep either,” she said, throwing a playful elbow at Wendy.

“Yeah, not much,” Wendy admitted, sheepishly. “I’m Wendy, by the way. Nice to meet you,” she soon added with an extended hand.

Sejeong shook her hand and then pointed at the seat next to her. “Wanna seat with me? I could definitely use a friend, it’s my first year.”

And that was that. They hit it off instantly, thanks to Sejeong’s friendly and easygoing personality. They also had many interests in common and they even shared another class together. It was Sejeong who asked for her number—of course—but it was Wendy who suggested going together to the dinner. Sejeong made her feel comfortable right away, so Wendy was able to bypass her usually shy demeanor around strangers, and jump in right into friend mode. Kind of like Seulgi had made her feel when they first met in 9th grade.

So, Wendy was standing in front of her full-body mirror for the third time that evening, not quite convinced with the last outfit she had chosen.

“Seul, how does this look?” she shouted, calling the girl who was getting some orange juice from the kitchen.

A few seconds later, the girl peering into Wendy’s room, quizzically. “I already told you twice before, you look stunning. I like your fashion sense anyway,”

“But do which one is better? Do I look nice or—I don’t know, approachable, I guess?”

“Mhmm, trying to snatch a girlfriend on your first college party? Look at you Wendy,” Seulgi replied, raising her OJ glass in Wendy’s direction with a wink.

“First of all, it’s a dinner, not a party” Wendy corrected her best friend. “And second, you know I just wanna focus on my studies. I just want to look nice and maybe make some friends, you know I get all dorky and shy at first.”

Seulgi smiled, taping Wendy on the nose, teasingly. “Wenwen, you’re still a dork but yeah, you look great, I like this outfit the most out of all three. And I’m sure everyone will love you once they get to know your beautiful personality.”

Wendy checked herself on the mirror once again, pondering. She was wearing a pair light skinny jeans and a black cami blouse, coupled with some black chunky boots and her favorite fur collar leather jacket. “So, I should pick this black blouse over the white one,” she wondered.

“Yeah, definitely. The oversized one is definitely more my style, but the spaghetti straps on this one accentuate your collarbones,” Seulgi observed, raising her eyebrow cheekily.

“OK, OK, thanks. I’m leaving then,” Wendy announced, picking up her purse from her desk.

“Have fun” Seulgi said, walking back to her, before abruptly turning around, as if something had caught her attention once again. “But not too much fun,” she added with a smirk.

“Oh, shut up. Have fun at your thing tonight too,” the girl replied before closing the front door shut behind her.

— — —

She arrived just in time for dinner, walking alongside Sejeong. The Business department had made a reservation at a chicken restaurant located just outside her university campus and the whole second floor had been booked just for them.

It was already fairly loud when they arrived, considering most college students weren’t exactly known for their punctuality. Two cheerful students standing next to the entrance, waiting to greet the newcomers, checked their name on a long list and led them to their assigned table. Lucky for Wendy, Sejong had also been set in table number one. Only five other students had arrived at the long table that could possibly host about twenty students.

As soon as they sat down, a man who had previously been sitting at the other end of the table, animatedly talking to a girl next to him, stood up and walked toward them. “Hello, I’m Kim Kibum, but can call me Key. They told you’re Sejeong, right? I’m your buddy for this semester,” he greeted politely with an extended hand.

“Hey, what’s up? Nice to meet you. Yeah, I’m Kim Sejeong and this is my friend Wendy,” the addressed girl greeted back.

Wendy also shook the man’s hand. “Hi, yeah, that’s my English name, but I’m probably on the list by my Korean name, Son Seungwan.”

“Oh, right! I think your buddy hasn’t arrived yet” he pointed out, taking a seat in front of Sejeong.

The room started filling up quickly, as the minutes passed. About five minutes into their conversation, a girl tapped Key on the shoulder.

“Hi, Key. Can we seat next to you, guys?” she asked shooting him an affable smile. “This is my buddy, Sooyoung,” she introduced, pointing at a girl next to her. Wendy thought they could’ve looked like long-time friends, Sooyoung didn’t exude this aura of confusion that most freshmen didn’t.

“Yeah, sure. The more the merrier,” Key replied as the two new girls sat down next to him and Sejeong.

All of them begun introducing themselves to each other again—basic information and interests. Wendy had to admit that so far it hadn’t been awkward at all. Key was hilarious and very attentive, and the other girls seemed really friendly too.

“Oh, that’s a pretty name. Are you from the States?” Sooyoung questioned with interest when Wendy mentioned that she preferred to be called by her English name.

“Not really, I grew up in Canada. But I moved back when I was in 9th grade,” Wendy explained as she poured herself some beer. “I attended an international school here, anyway, so everybody kept using my English name.”

“That’s so cool. I always wanted to do a semester abroad,” Sooyung note with genuine interest. “I even picked an English name, too. You can call me Joy if you want.”

Before Wendy had the chance to say anything else, an approaching figure that greeted their table interrupted the conversation. “Hey, everybody. Sorry for being late, I got caught up with some student council—Wendy?”

Once the other woman was close enough, Wendy was able to get a better look at the woman in front of her. Her hair was darker and considerably longer than the last time Wendy had seen her. “Yongsun?” the freshman girl asked, utterly perplexed.

“Long time no see. It’s nice to see you,” Yongsun replied with a more poised tone. She immediately turned to her left to ask the man there about her buddy. “Key, have you met somebody called Seungwan? He’s my assigned buddy.”

Key cleared , slightly uncomfortable. “Uh, I think that’s Wendy right here. She mentioned it was her Korean name.”

“Oh,” was all Yonsun was able to say, blinking profusely. A moment later, she seemed to snap back from her shock, mumbling a panicked apology. “Ohhh, I’m so sorry, I just always knew you by Wendy and I knew a guy named Seungwan, so I assumed my buddy was a—”

Wendy waved a dismissive hand, as if it was no big deal. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ve heard that before a couple of times, that’s why I prefer Wendy.”

Sooyoung studied the two girls quietly, glancing at their peculiar expression. “So, how did you guys meet?” she asked, innocently—maybe.

Wendy gulped, nervously. She never thought she’d have to get into this topic on her first day of college. “I…uh, I kind of…” she stammered, searching for the most innocuous answer. Yongsun and Irene had quickly become friends once Irene went off to college, so Wendy and Yongsun had already met on a few occasions before Irene decided to break up.

“We have some friends in common,” Yongsun offered, coming to her aid. “She went to the same high school as Irene so we’ve seen each around.”

“Wait, what?!” Sunmi interjected, fascinated with the new line of conversation. “Irene as in Irene Bae, the president of the student council?” she added with an impressed whistle. “So, I guess you’re a hotshot, too? That school is full of smart kids.”

Wendy bit her lip nervously. “Not particularly. Well, maybe a little. I just had good grades, nothing to brag about,” she humbly replied, trying to dismiss the topic.

“It’s settled then, you’re gonna help me with Calculus,” Sooyoung announced with a thumb up. “I saw you today in class and I totally at math.”

Although Wendy wasn’t sure she wanted to commit to helping the girl out, she was definitely thankful for the diverting the previous topic. After that, the conversation veered away from her, to discuss advice on mandatory courses, electives, etc.

After the dinner, Wendy excused herself and walked to the bathroom, located on the first floor. She was about to push open one of the stall doors when Yongsun came running from the main door.

“Hey, Wendy?” she started, hesitantly. “I’m sorry it got so awkward back there. I was surprised to see you, I didn’t know you had applied to KNU,” she explained without any hint of animosity.

“Yep, early admission,” Wendy replied matter-of-factly. “I had already applied before Irene and I…broke up, so I thought there was no point in changing my whole life plan over it.”

“Yeah, right. I totally get it,” Yongsun agreed, “I just wanted to tell you that it won’t make things different on my part. I’m still your buddy and you can ask me anything related to college. I’m here to help you, you know?”

“Thank you. I really appreciate,” Wendy answered, offering a cordial smile. “Yeah, don’t worry. It’s been a long time since it all went down. It won’t make things awkward for me either,” she promised before Yongsun decided to leave her alone to her business in the bathroom.

Wendy sighed dejectedly. What she had just wasn’t completely true, but it wasn’t completely false. She couldn’t deny that from time to time she wondered how Irene was doing or if her ex ever thought of them. But at the same time, the break up hadn’t totally halted her life, she had worked hard in school, she had had a wonderful senior year with her school friends. It hadn’t been the end of the world. Still, when she was all alone at night, ready to sleep, all these what ifs and maybes came to disturb her peaceful thoughts. She had to admit that back in high-school Irene had completely rocked her world.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted her thoughts. Wendy startled back, realizing that she was still standing rigidly in the middle of the bathroom’s hallway.

“I totally wasn’t eavesdropping. It’s just that before I got the chance to leave, Yongsun started talking and it seemed too serious to interrupt. So, I didn’t know whether to just leave or wait, and I panicked,” the other girl blurted all at once, defensively. It was Sooyoung coming out of one of the bathroom stalls.

Wendy let out a breath, shaking her head. “It’s alright. Don’t worry.”

“Are you OK though?” Sooyoung asked, worriedly. “You look kinda tired,” she observed.

“How much did you overhear?” Wendy suddenly questioned, realizing that this could quickly turn into an uncomfortable conversation.

“All of it, I guess,” Sooyoung replied, wincing timidly.

“Oh, god,” Wendy let out with eyes like saucers.

Sooyoung quickly waved her palms in front of her, defensively. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody if you don’t want me to,” she assured her.

“That would actually be great. Thanks,” Wendy simply said, ready to leave this conversation behind.

“Does it still…hurt?” Sooyoung wondered though, still pressing the issue. There were genuine signs of concern in her features, so Wendy didn’t have the heart to push her away.

“Oh, no. It’s not really about that. I’m fine,” she affirmed with a reassuring nod. “It’s just that Irene is such a prominent figure, everybody knows the president, and she’s like super openly out and proud. Being associated with her is way too much unwanted attention,” she explained to Sooyoung patiently.

Sooyoung nodded in understanding. “Alright, sure. I get it, I guess. I won’t say a single word to anyone, then,” Sooyoung agreed instantly. “Cross my heart and hope to die,” she added playfully with hand motion across her chest.

Wendy chuckled at the childish antics with amusement. “Anyway, I gotta use the bathroom, so..”

“Oh, right,” Sooyoung realized, suddenly, walking away before momentarily changing her mind “Wendy?” she called once again, stopping the shorter girl in her tracks.

“Yeah?” Wendy said, peering out from the bathroom stall.

“I’m totally keeping you,” Sooyoung informed her with a playful grin.

“I’m sorry?” Wendy asked, profusely confused.

“You kind of didn’t talk much back there so I wasn’t sure if we’d click, but something tells me that this friendship is gonna be lots of fun. So, I’m keeping you around,” Sooyoung clarified as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“O-ok,” Wendy merely stuttered back.

Sooyoun’s grin morphed into a satisfied smile. “See you around,” she added with a wave before exiting the bathroom.

The rest of the month went by better than Wendy expected. She had two classes with Sejeong, two classes with Sooyoung, one class with one of Sooyoung’s friend—a cheerful girl called Yeri—and only one class by herself. The buddy system helped her expand her group of acquaintances, so she had also hung out with Key and Sunmi a couple of times. By the end of the month, the girl felt like the worst part was already behind her. 

April

It wasn’t until the second month of the semester that Wendy saw Irene, in the flesh, for the first time. Wendy was working on an assignment at the library, waiting for Joy so they could study for an upcoming Calculus quiz, when she saw the older girl sit down at a nearby table. She wasn’t sure whether to wave or just ignore her. Was there a specific etiquette manual on past relationships? That would’ve been helpful.

The older girl didn’t seem to notice her, so she tried her best to ignore her presence. Instead, she walked to one of the aisles in the back to try and find the textbook that Joy and she would be studying from later. Wendy took her time, walking down the aisles aimlessly to buy herself some time. By the time she went back, Joy was already sitting at the table where she had left her belonging.

“Do you know how long it took me to find your dumb spot?” Joy complained loudly, setting her phone aside. “I roamed for like fifteen minutes before I spotted your backpack. Did you go to the bathroom or something?”

“Shhh. It’s a library Park Sooyoung, silence is key,” Wendy chided her with embarrassment. “And no, I was just trying to find our Calculus textbook, in advance. You’re welcome.”

“Anyway, let’s get down to it,” Joy replied brushing off her complaints. “Share some of that magical brain of yours with me. I bought you some coffee so it’s the least you could you,” she said, pointing at one of the two coffee cups on the table.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Wendy replied, rolling her eyes, but inwardly appreciating the gesture. Joy was actually very perceptive, she was so good at reading people. In hindsight, Wendy had never directly told her that Vanilla latte was her favorite. But, after a few trips to the coffee shop together, Joy had automatically begun relaying her order to the barista without having to ask Wendy.

They made themselves comfortable and downloaded the problem sets files, attempting to solve them separately and then comparing their answers. Sometimes, Wendy had to guide Joy through an entire question, but the girl was actually a fast-learner, so they were moving pretty fast.

A nudge against her leg startled Wendy. She leaned sideways so take a peek beneath the table, realizing that Joy was the culprit for the interruption. Her friend was running her shoe up and down Wendy’s calf, which made her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink.

Joy was usually affectionate to all her friends—she was contently initiating skinship— but this particular gesture seemed intentionally crafted to get a reaction out the girl. “Joy,” Wendy warned with a low whisper.

“What?” Joy retorted with an innocent smile. “Oh, is this uncomfortable for you?”

Wendy retreated her leg, placing as far away from Joy’s as possible. “What a