8.

Minho doesn’t know what to do under Lucas’s scrutinizing stare. He presses his lips together, his insides recoiling at the sheer intensity of the boy’s gaze. He wonders if all children are supposed to be this hard to move.

 

But it’s not Lucas’s intensity that has Minho doubting this situation, it’s how unwelcome he feels.

 

From the moment he passed the threshold of the apartment, being greeted by a serious Taemin with a scowling three-year-old by his side, Minho knew that this wouldn’t go as smoothly as he had hoped.

 

The thing is, he doesn’t know what to do to fix it.

 

“Honey,” Taemin’s voice cuts through the turmoil of thoughts raging in the alpha’s head. They’re sitting in the living room, Adam and Eve bounding happily around Minho’s feet. He watches as Taemin runs a hand through the boy’s thick dark hair as he looks down at him, speaking gently and yet with a firmness the alpha hasn’t seen him use before, “why don’t you go grab some of your favorite toys to show Minho, hm?”

 

Lucas, who is plastered to Taemin’s side, frowns at this and Minho can almost see the refusal forming in his mind. Since he got here, he hasn’t seen the boy stray more than a couple of steps from the omega, as though he is keeping guard. Protecting Taemin from a threat. And though it hurts to know he’s seen as such by his own son, Minho muses it can’t be helped. Not when in the boy’s eyes, he’s a strange alpha encroaching in his territory. In fact, he understands Lucas’s reticence in stepping away from his father.

 

A tiny part of him even takes pride in the boy’s protectiveness towards Taemin.

 

“But Daddy–”

 

Taemin interrupts the protest with a simple raised eyebrow and the boy’s mouth snaps shut and he sighs minutely before nodding.

 

He slides off the couch and then levels Minho with what the alpha can only qualify as his best warning glare, before stalking out of the room, Adam barking animatedly as he follows the boy towards the hall.

 

“He doesn’t like me much, does he?” Minho finds himself asking, chest tight around his lungs and heart.

 

“You left quite the impression on him the other day, on the elevator,” Taemin points out dryly.

 

Minho blinks and flashes back to the event, remembering how cheerful Lucas had been with him up until he had insisted Taemin talk to him. He winces internally, wondering just how much he screwed up before getting his head out of his .

 

“Since we’re on the topic, we should establish some ground rules for this.”

 

For a second, Minho is stumped. He doesn’t quite understand how Taemin went from their previous topic to that, though he doesn’t feel like questioning it. Instead, he nods once to prompt the omega to keep going.

 

“He’s very protective,” Taemin begins slowly. “So, try not to appear like too much of a threat, alright? He feels challenged, and it’s hard enough convincing him I can take care of myself.”

 

Minho feels like there’s a story there, or at least, more to be said. Yet, he can see that Taemin won’t elaborate further, not with the way the omega is looking at him, expecting his answer.

 

“Okay,” he finds himself saying. “I’ll do my best.”

 

Nodding once, seemingly satisfied, the omega goes on, “you will only see him if I’m there, for the time being.”

 

The alpha frowns slightly, but his protest dies on his tongue, Jinki’s words echoing in his mind.

 

“Can you blame him?”

 

“…you think that making threats will get you anywhere?”

 

“You are the mess, Minho.”

 

They remind him that he isn’t in any position to make demands and that Taemin’s requests are reasonable. He is the mess; he is the one who abandoned his mate and child when they needed him the most. He won’t get anywhere if he doesn’t abide by Taemin’s rules.

 

He nods stiffly, swallowing his protest down, alongside the ball of anguish that has formed in his throat.

 

“I haven’t told him who you are yet,” Taemin reveals and Minho tries not to let the discovery hurt too much. “I think he sees you too much like a threat right now… he wouldn’t understand anyway. So… you’re just an old friend for now. Okay?”

 

Setting his jaw, all Minho can do is nod again.

 

And then Lucas is walking back to them, a storage box in his arms.

 

Minho smiles at the boy even though he feels himself die inside.

 

Small steps, he tells himself. Small steps.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

They get into some kind of routine after that first meeting.

 

Minho comes by on Sundays and they try to make something of the day, going to the park when the weather is nice and staying in when it isn’t.

 

Slowly, Lucas warms up to the older alpha and Minho no longer feels like his son hates him with a passion. It’s… progress. Even though Lucas still doesn’t like leaving his parents by themselves and often protests when Taemin even suggests he step away for a minute, even if it’s to go to the bathroom or to get his toys.

 

Still, Minho is relieved for the small mercies. Lucas actually talks to him now, even seeks him out when he’s being quiet because there’s too much on his mind. The boy will grin at him and on rare occasions even touch him, a touch of the hand, a hug…

 

The first time the boy hugged him around the legs, a whole month and a half after their first meeting when Minho was getting ready to go back to his own apartment, the man had frozen on the spot, breath punched out of him before he’d managed to bring a trembling hand to rub his son’s back.

 

Until then, seeing him frequently had been one thing, as had been hearing his voice, but it had been a whole other experience to feel his child’s tiny body pressed into his, his body-heat so solid and real, Minho had trembled all the way back home, feeling like an imposter. Worthless of such a blessing.

 

Things with Taemin on the other hand… well, Minho can’t say he had expected any more than that. Hell, he’d expected the omega to be constantly hostile to him, so the calm is a surprise. A relief, really.

 

Taemin doesn’t talk to him unless it involves Lucas, about how his health is going, about daycare, or the boy’s mood for the day, or whatever might be going on that will one way or another, affect their meeting for the day.

 

And it’s fine, Minho tells himself. It’s more than he deserves.

 

The only time Taemin gets mad at him after they settle into that routine is when Minho brings up child support. The omega scowls at him so fiercely Minho feels like the smaller male is seriously contemplating his murder.

 

“We don’t need your money,” the omega snarls under his breath.

 

Minho made sure to come a little earlier than usual, knowing that Lucas would be down for his nap at this time, so he could have a moment with Taemin to bring up the subject. Now, he more than glad for it, as he’s convinced Taemin’s reaction to him right now would have erased all the progress Lucas had made in opening up to Minho.

 

“It’s not about the money, Taemin,” the alpha tries to placate, an uncomfortable itch under his skin with the need to put as much distance between himself and the angry omega as possible.

 

“Fix yourself first, because I doubt Taemin will want to go back to an alpha who’s lost all sense of himself. No self-respecting omega would.”

 

He sets his jaw as Jinki’s words echo in his mind, reminding him once again of how unfit he is for this.

 

“Then what is it about?” The younger male hisses through gritted teeth, voice poisonous and his eyes glinting threateningly.

 

“He’s my son,” Minho states, trying to sound as calm as possible, though he feels anything but. “It’s my duty to provide for him.” Before Taemin can protest again, he powers through, “I don’t mean to undermine your abilities to care for him, you’ve proven you don’t need help–”

 

“Then why are you bringing this up?!” Taemin growls, his anger still very much alive.

 

“Because that’s my responsibility and I haven’t been keeping to it,” Minho bites out, chest burning with his own anger, though he’s doing everything he can to snuff it out before it comes out. “I can cover his expenses, food, clothing, daycare, his health, everything. I’ve already set up a savings-account in his name. You’ll manage it as you see fit, for anything he needs.”

 

“Forget it.”

 

Minho swallows. He reminds himself that he knew it would be hard to convince Taemin, so he tries not to let it get to him.

 

“This is not about you or me, Taemin,” he reminds the younger after several seconds have passed. “This is about Lucas and what he needs. Don’t let your pride and our past get in the way of our son getting the best he deserves. Please.”

 

Minho doesn’t expect the hurt that flashes through Taemin’s eyes at his words, or even how the fight bleeds out of his body.

 

“I won’t touch it,” the omega states firmly. “Unless it’s an emergency, I won’t touch it.”

 

And Minho knows that’s the best he’ll get for now so he assents and then pulls the envelope with the credit-card and account information out of his -pocket and sets it on the coffee-table. Taemin glares at it for several moments, his nose turning red and his eyes becoming misty and for a moment, Minho fears he’s going to cry and his heart shatters, because that was the last thing he had in mind. He’s about to apologize, to reassure Taemin that it’s fine, that he’ll take the envelop back if it’s really that much of an offense.

 

“I think we should tell him soon,” Taemin speaks up, pulling Minho’s desperate thoughts to a screeching halt.

 

The alpha can only blink for a moment, lost as to what to say.

 

He never expected the utter terror that such words bring him. Is Lucas ready to learn the truth? Is Minho ready to be labeled a father by the boy? Can he even be considered as such having done so little? Having done absolutely nothing to deserve such an honor?

 

“When?” His voice is faint when he asks and he winces at the way it cracks.

 

Taemin isn’t looking at him. Hasn’t looked at him ever since he put the envelope on the coffee-table.

 

“I don’t know… just… soon.”

 

It’s vague, much too vague but Minho will take it. The terror and hopefulness mixing in his chest enough for him to be satisfied with the dateless promise.

 

In fact, he takes everything in stride. He works his off at the company, the days blurring together until Sunday comes and he gets to see his son and know him better, discover his likes and dislikes, hear his laughter and animated tales about the adventures he goes through at daycare, and with Daddy.

 

He hasn’t seen any of his friends since his last disastrous encounter with Jinki, but he knows better than to disappear on them, so he calls from time to time, answers their texts, and gives small updates of how things are going with Lucas and Taemin.

 

He refuses any and all requests they make to meet the two, explaining that things are still falling into place.

 

Kibum tries to insist but Jonghyun is an unlikely ally and Minho is grateful for the older male’s firm stance on “letting them sort their business before crowding them”. He’s only spoken to Jinki once after that fateful night, a couple of weeks after setting up the schedule with Taemin.

 

He called the elder to apologize for his behavior, agreeing that Jinki was right about him being an idiot. And when the elder asked him if he would go back to seeing Dr. Kang, he lied only to appease his friend, saying that he’d already set an appointment with the therapist. But as he’d told the elder, he doesn’t need Dr. Kang to know how much he has screwed up and he is determined to fix his own mess.

 

Jinki is… calmer now. Minho wouldn’t say happy as their exchanges are still pretty short and clipped, but at least they are talking, so that’s fine by him.

 

All he needs to do is focus on work and his son. Maybe try and make Taemin hate him a little less, though he’s not so sure about the feasibility of that.

 

But it will have to do. He’s not sure he can do much more than that, to be honest.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

After Minho leaves that evening, Lucas sulks a little – as he’s getting into the habit of doing whenever the older alpha even expresses his need to go – and Taemin can only force a smile, reassuring his son that the other male will be back soon.

 

He tries not to hate how easily Minho wormed his way into their lives, he tries not to hate how, deep down, he takes comfort in the elder’s presence or how much it warms his heart to watch Lucas being so carefree and happy around his alpha father.

 

The changes in his son’s behavior are almost shocking. In barely over two months since the older male has become a fixture in their routine, Lucas has mellowed down a little. He still expresses his dislike about letting Taemin out of his sight whenever Minho is around, but he doesn’t protest as heatedly as he did before. In fact, some days, he resorts to merely frowning, setting a firm glare on Minho and then walking away to do whatever it is Taemin asked him to.

 

The boy is chattier too, less shy than before. In fact, he’s more confident, will openly start conversations with whatever new kid he meets at the park, when before, he’d get all tense and refuse to budge from his father’s side, muttering about not liking strangers.

 

The biggest change of all, though, is the boy’s attitude towards Minho. At first, it’s extremely slow and for a while, Taemin thinks his son will never warm up to the older alpha. But Minho is nothing but relentless, even going as far as rolling on the grass with the boy, making funny faces and voices, overall acting like a kid and committing fully to whatever game it is he manages to rope Lucas into. It’s bittersweet and endearing, and Taemin tries not to let it get to him because he can’t let Minho win this, he can’t let the elder just fall into pace with them as if he’s always been there. But Lucas is happy, happier than Taemin has ever seen his son, and it hurts because he can’t help but think that he’s never been enough and that Minho is what his little boy really needed to get there.

 

And then the alpha comes to him with that damned savings account for Lucas and that talk about providing for the boy.

 

Taemin is not proud to admit his refusal comes from a very selfish and illogical place. Yet, the idea that Minho is, in any way, trying to call him unfit to take care of their son’s needs makes his blood boil and dredges up all the hurt he’s been trying very hard to ignore since he decided to let the other into their lives.

 

Minho pins him down, though. Hits the nail right in the head.

 

“This is not about you or me, Taemin. This is about Lucas and what he needs. Don’t let your pride and our past get in the way of our son getting the best he deserves. Please.”

 

And isn’t that a low blow…

 

He feels like he accepts it way too easily after that and the cocktail of emotions in his blood makes him want to cry.

 

There’s the unmistakable humiliation that comes with accepting help from someone who turned his back on him and the resentment that comes on par with it. Yet, there’s also this… hope. Hope that Minho is being serious about being a part of Lucas’ life, hope that the elder will actually stick around this time.

 

And, worst of all, there’s this slight sense of joy that comes from his omegan instincts at the prospect of his alpha being able and willing to provide for them. In fact, he refuses to attribute that to anything else than his baser instincts.

 

He doesn’t know what comes over him when he suggests they tell Lucas soon about their relation and he promptly regrets it, but he can’t take it back, not with how chocked up Minho sounds when he asks for a date.

 

He doesn’t have one to offer, though. To be honest, he hadn’t been planning on telling Lucas any time soon, but it’s said, the promise is there and Minho seems to be holding onto it like a lifeline.

 

Watching Lucas and his alpha father interact that afternoon cements the decision for him. Even if he can’t shake this latent sense of dread that’s been a constant companion of his, whenever he sees Minho.

 

Sense of dread that comes to a head the Sunday that follows when the older male appears on their doorstep mid-morning.

 

Taemin frowns as he takes in the man’s appearance. He’s dressed in a suit like he’s going somewhere formal, nothing like the simple shirt and jeans he usually wears for one such day. He’s holding onto a brief-case and a paper-bag that looks very buff from where he’s standing.

 

“You’re early,” the omega comments dryly.

 

Minho forces a small smile.

 

“Yeah… I– uh… I won’t be able to stay, today,” he confesses, looking pained as he says it.

 

Taemin tries not to get angry but there’s this nasty voice in the back of his mind, taunting him.

 

See? He’s already bailing on you!

 

“Why?” He asks and internally winces with how cutting his voice sounds.

 

“Emergency at work… I couldn’t get out of it,” Minho explains, looking contrite. “I’m sorry, I know this is last minute… I just got the call this morning.”

 

Taemin presses his lips in a tight line.

 

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”

 

Minho flinches minutely and Taemin feels a sick satisfaction at that.

 

“Can I see him, before I go?” The elder requests, uncertain.

 

Without a word, Taemin motions him inside and closes the door.

 

“Lucas, baby, can you come here? Someone’s here to see you,” he calls out, making sure to put as much cheer in his voice as he can.

 

“Thank you,” Minho tells him softly, setting his load on the floor, as they hear Lucas’ hurried steps echo in the apartment.

 

The boy appears in the corridor in his pajamas and his face glows when he sees Minho.

 

“Uncle!” He calls out and runs right into the older alpha’s legs, hugging him.

 

Minho chuckles and rubs the boy’s back, pulling back slightly so he can crouch down in front of the child.

 

“Hey, kiddo,” he greets, ruffling the boy’s hair.

 

“Are we going to play now?” Lucas asks excitedly.

 

Taemin bites his bottom-lip, preparing for the disappointment that will appear when Minho tells him the truth.

 

“I’m sorry, kiddo, but I have to go to work today.”

 

Lucas frowns and tilts his head to the side.

 

“But it’s the weekend,” Lucas pouts. “Daddy says the weekend is not for work.”

 

Minho looks pained and Taemin feels oddly vindictive.

 

“It usually isn’t,” the alpha confesses, holding onto the boy’s shoulders. “But it’s an emergency.”

 

“What’s an emregen-see?”

 

Minho’s lips twitch slightly.

 

“Emergency, kiddo,” he corrects gently. “It means something happened that needs to be taken care of immediately.”

 

“So, it can’t wait?” Lucas inquires, looking sullener by the second.

 

Minho shakes his head.

 

“I’m really, really sorry,” he apologizes again, voice gentle and sounding so genuine, Taemin has a hard time holding onto his anger. “Can I make it up to you?”

 

Lucas’s shoulders have drooped down, but at the words, he looks at Minho with renewed interest.

 

“We’re playing double-time, next time?” He asks hopefully.

 

“Now, honey, that might be difficult to arrange,” Taemin intervenes before the situation can get out of hand.

 

Lucas's lips jut out into another pout, “but Daddy…”

 

“Your Daddy’s right, kiddo,” Minho points out. “But I do have something else to offer.”

 

With these words, the alpha pulls the paper bag to place it between them and then produces a soccer ball from within. It’s smaller than the ones Taemin has seen before and he can only guess Minho bought a kid-sized one.

 

It does nothing to appease the omega, however. Instead, he scowls down at the present and he makes a note to explain to Minho that he can’t pump Lucas full of gifts to make up for his absence, that that’s not how parenthood works.

 

But then he looks at Minho, really looks at him and his anger dies down immediately.

 

He can’t explain the feeling that invades him when the alpha smiles down at Lucas as the boy in a gasp, eyes bright with joy as he looks down at his gift, hugging it to his chest like it’s the most precious thing he’s been given.

 

Minho’s own smile doesn’t reach his eyes. In fact, Taemin’s not sure he’s seen Minho truly smile at all in the past two months.

 

At first, he had chucked Minho’s strained smiles as discomfort because of their situation, but he knows the dread he’s been feeling isn’t just because of that and as much as he’s tried ignoring it, he can’t. He sees it way too clearly now.

 

The exhaustion on the alpha’s features. He looks drained, even. The dark circles under his eyes are a stark contrast against his ashen – almost sickly – complexion and that fact alone has Taemin’s throat going dry. Minho’s cheeks are slightly sunken too, his lips are dry and his hair unkempt.

 

Even his expensive suit fails to conceal the weariness in the alpha’s gait.

 

But what strikes Taemin the hardest is the pain in his eyes.

 

It’s there, carefully concealed behind the sheer adoration the alpha looks at their son with. But it’s there still, unwavering, rooted so deep the omega wonders how he was able to ignore it before.

 

That feeling he’d had that first time they talked after Minho found out about Lucas comes back to him on full force then. This Minho is different. He can barely recognize him anymore.

 

His Minho was all sun-kissed skin and spirited eyes, bright smiles, and loud voice.

 

This person talking with Lucas is all but a shell fighting to fill its void.

 

“–will you show me?” His son is asking, voice high with excitement as he bounces on the balls of his feet, peering up at his alpha father.

 

Taemin blinks back into reality and watches Minho reach out to ruffle his hair.

 

“Next time we go to the park, I will,” the alpha promises with a smile.

 

One more that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“Cool!” Lucas cheers. “Can we go now?”

 

The omega opens his mouth to protest but Minho beats him to it.

 

“Sorry, kiddo,” he apologizes softly, regret marring his features. “I told you I have to go to work and I’m staying late today. But next weekend for sure–” he interrupts himself, as though just now remembering he isn’t in a position to make that kind of promise.

 

When he looks at Taemin for permission then, the omega notices that the adoration has left place to fear and despair, the plea in his gaze only strengthened by the latent sadness in his eyes.

 

Taemin doesn’t trust his voice to speak without it quivering. He merely nods, too dazed to do anything else.

 

Minho nods back at him gratefully and then turns back to their son, mask back in place as he smiles at the boy.

 

“We’ll go to the park this week-end and we’ll play, okay?”

 

Lucas looks like he’s going to protest and insist they go today, but eventually, he beams, completely blind to the turmoil in the older alpha – and Taemin is glad for it, glad that the boy can’t read that kind of carefully concealed emotions yet.

 

“Okay!”

 

Minho nods in affirmation just once more and then rises to his feet as he explains, “I have to go now. See you, kiddo.”

 

“Bye bye!”

 

Minho nods at Taemin as he turns back to the door, never meeting his gaze as he walks out.

 

The omega’s chest clenches painfully. This time, not in anger or resentment that Minho has wormed his way into their lives, but in fear of what the alpha has become.

 

---

A/N:

Hi, guys!
So... sorry for the long wait. The truth is, this has been sitting in my computer for almost a year but I just couldn't muster up the will or strength to go over it and make it better... so yeah. I figured I made you guys wait long enough.

There's no telling when the next chapter will be up though, as I haven't even started working on it and quite honestly, I'm not sure where I want this to go anymore... I'll do my best to give this story what it deserves and also to pay you back for the long wait I keep putting you through...

Thank you all for sticking around, for your comments and love!

With Love,
Joorin