“I got fired today.” When the girl parted her small lips, Park Chorong automatically braced for something stupid to be spouted out of them; perhaps a daily report on how ‘ing dumb’ her job at the day-care is, or to start a heated discussion on how ‘some people shouldn’t have the rights to pass on their idiotic genes’, etc and etc… but not today, apparently. Because even with all these probable guesses, it was the unthinkable that ended up invading her eardrums. Hell, a long chain of nothing but cuss words would’ve been more expectable in comparison to the news about her housemate getting sacked two days before Christmas, especially so when most businesses would need all the help they can get during the grand holiday season… so how on Earth did this unique individual manage to achieve such a ridiculous feat? “E-Excuse me?” is all Chorong stammers out, even when she had a great urge to blurt out ‘what the bloody ’ at first; it’s a fortunate thing that she owns enough self-control to hold back her tongue, otherwise their share-house would be filled with no one but potty-mouths and precious-but-nevertheless-stupid fools who never think before they speak… AKA people like her five housemates. “I got fired,” one of the five-housemates kindly repeats herself as she grabs a carton out from their fridge, sounding just as unfazed as before. “all because I told a brat how Christmas was only a giant scheme for companies to snatch our money one last time before the year ends, and Santa’s just a parent of theirs dressed in an ugly costume.” … And that’s exactly why Park Chorong’s now buffering on their living room sofa. Although she’s been living under the same roof as the unfiltered one for more than two years, she has yet to discover a limit to her bat-sh*t craziness. This latest episode of hers undoubtedly takes the cake, though. “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SAY SUCH THINGS TO A KID, YOON BOMI?!” Chorong finally snaps upon regaining her senses, too worked up to care about the fact that the one named ‘Bomi’ is currently coughing her lungs out due to sneezing with full, having orange juice trickling down both nostrils and all… which still doesn’t stop her from retorting against the older female. “What, is it wrong to expose them to the reality?” Yoon Bomi counter-attacks (after regaining her composure and cleaning herself up, that is), now leaning her elbows onto the kitchen counter and staring boldly into the other’s widened eyes. “Those brats will have to grow up and learn about the cruel truth sooner or later, you know.” “Still, that doesn’t mean you can go ahead and ruin their childhood, does it?!” “Hey, I’m actually doing their parents a favour by helping them mature faster.” “They’re children, for God’s sake- you took away something they can never regain!” “What did I take, their stupidity?” “THEIR INNOCENCE, YOU DESPICABLE PIECE OF SH-(KaTalk)” With both of their attention getting stolen by the same notification bell, the despicable one swiftly picks up the phone from the tabletop (even though it’s not even hers) and takes a curious peek at its screen. “Oh, it’s Busan Big Mouth… but damn, I didn’t think you’re the type to set your texts to be unreadable from your lock screen. Are you secretly working for the government or are you actually an undercover drug lord?” “I’m just a smart person who knows how to protect my privacy against nosy s like you.” Chorong snaps back at her… … But first she had to dodge for her life whilst screeching in pure terror. Honestly speaking, she’s considered extremely lucky that her phone landed safely on a nearby cushion instead of, well, anywhere else. Her fast reflexes are also praiseworthy, since there was a chance for her to lose a tooth or two just then. Her cheeky housemate did pass her phone over by throwing it from the kitchen, after-all. Welp, at least it seems like Bomi’s baseball-pitching hobby is finally coming in handy. She could’ve activated her butter-fingers and accidentally toss it straight out of the nearest window, you know. “Oh hey, you almost caught it! Would you like to try again?” “I honestly don’t know how I’ve been surviving with you as one of my housemates for this long, Bbom-ah, but it’s either I’m getting extra blessings from the Mary or I’m spending my entire life’s worth of luck on you just so neither of us die before we hit 30.” “Well, you bet you’re lucky to have me in your life. I’m an absolute treat.” “That is definitely not what I meant, you narcissistic piece of mouldy bread.” “Creative insult, I like it. Keep it coming so I can see how innovative you can be.” “I can’t believe it’s been two years and I’ve yet to attempt murder… maybe I should…” “Two years and counting, baby. Let’s get it to a hundred.” Lacking the mental energy to deal with Bomi any further, Chorong ultimately ends their conversation with an eye-roll and redirects her attention back onto the phone that she has now reclaimed; she scans through the new message with speed before letting out a soft sigh, abruptly triggering her housemate’s inner emergency alarm to go off and unknowingly keeping the girl on her toes. There’s an unspoken rule within the share-house, you see, and that’s to start praying for your life if you’re ever the reason behind Park Chorong’s sighs. The oldest resident of the share-house usually wields an EQ of a saint, so for her to release such an indirect yet blatant warning means you’re dangerously close to earning yourself a high-speed railway ticket to the afterlife. “Should I start arranging Eunji’s funeral for you, chief?” the newly-unemployed one chuckles nervously yet happily like a typical best friend, manoeuvring herself around the house to take a seat besides Chorong whilst continuing to act a bit too carefree for someone who’s… newly unemployed. “Just so you know, no one’s going to stop me from ordering a pink, sparkly coffin for my girl. Absolutely nobody.” “You’re not buying anyone a coffin, pabo.” Chorong frowns in return, “Why are you assuming she’s in trouble anyways?” “Uh, because you went (mimics sigh) and it’s common for Eunji to demolish your braincells?” “I adore you and all, but I lose the majority of my braincells thanks to you, Bbom-ah.” Slightly offended (and only slightly, since they both knew damn well how Chorong’s absolutely right), Bomi crosses her arms before her chest and arches out a frown of her own. “B*tch please, at least I don’t disappear to God knows where without a warning. Remember that one time we had literally started designing a missing-person poster for her, just to find out she was skydiving in Australia the entire time we were freaking out?” “Oh, speaking of which- Eunji texted saying she’s currently at the airport.” “And what the did I just say, unnie?” “She’s going to spend Christmas in Switzerland.” “Are you- are you even listening???” “She’s planning to stay there until the 28th, but apparently that could change.” “STOP TREATING MY WORDS LIKE FARTS AND REPLY ME, OI.” “Do you even realise how Eunji’s departure makes us the only ones spending the holidays here?” “I SWEAR I- say what now?” “Everyone else is either on a trip overseas or back home with their families, no?” It’s safe to say that Yoon Bomi did not realise that fact, because her heart is now executing a somersault within her chest while her body temperature’s rising to an uncomfortable degree; if her same-aged friend is here to witness the entire ordeal, she would 100% describe her as an ‘idiotic bamboozled tomato’ and Bomi (now that her brain’s malfunctioning from the great amount of shock) would’ve agreed without trying to fist-fight her for once. “You’re… you’re joking, right? What do you mean all four of them are away fo-(KaTalk)” Making her flinch slightly, her phone buzzed in her pocket and causes her to snatch this self-distraction opportunity without wasting another second. Her flustered expression gradually fades into one of bewilderment when she spots the name ‘Thor Arms’ lingering in her notification centre, resulting in her to mumble to herself under her breath. “Speak of the ing devil…” [KakaoTalk – Bomi’s phone] Thor Arms: ISTG Bomi if you don’t make a move this xmas, I’ll make you pay for my plane ticket 8:32 PM Bbomrilla: wtf are u talking about Bbomrilla: and why are u suddenly heading to switzerland 8:32 PM Thor Arms: You’re so dumb LMAO 8:32 PM Bbomrilla: off Bbomrilla: explain yourself, u 8:33 PM Thor Arms: Let’s just say we didn’t ditch your asses for xmas coincidentally 8:33 PM Bbomrilla: wtf does that mean 8:33 PM Thor Arms: Think harder SMH 8:33 PM Bbomrilla: what Bbomrilla: oh wait Bbomrilla: OH Bbomrilla: WAIT A ING MINUTE 8:34 PM Thor Arms: Oh yay congrats Thor Arms: You’re not hopeless after all 8:34 PM Bbomrilla: JUNG EUNJI 8:34 PM Thor Arms: If I don’t receive any good news by the 26th you’re dead to me 8:34 PM Bbomrilla: HELL NAH Bbomrilla: U CAN’T FORCE ME LIKE THIS 8:34 PM Thor Arms: Bet Thor Arms: We’re all sick and tired of the intense , my dude Thor Arms: Just confess and get laid or something, FFS 8:34 PM Bbomrilla: ASKJFHAKSJDHASJHFLSDKJL Bbomrilla: i’m flying to switzerland and i’m killing u the moment i see u 8:35 PM Thor Arms: Aren’t you cute Thor Arms: Anyways good luck my b*tch 8:35 PM Bbomrilla: U ALL 8:35 PM Thor Arms: Hey we’re actually rooting for you Thor Arms: Except Namjoo since she likes drama and would watch the world burn for no reasons 8:35 PM Bbomrilla: i am NOT going to let u guys rush me on this Bbomrilla: it’s serious business fam Bbomrilla: MY serious business 8:35 PM ✓ Bbomrilla: oi thor 8:35 PM ✓ Bbomrilla: bruh u did not just ghost me 8:35 PM ✓ Bbomrilla: IF U DON’T GET UR BACK HERE ISTG 8:35 PM ✓ “Bbom-ah?” To ‘scare the living hell out of my idiotic housemate’ has never been a goal of Park Chorong’s, but she still managed to do exactly that. It triggers Bomi to almost punch her in the face while the girl metaphorically sh*ts herself, being so into the argument that she didn’t realise she was being stared at for the past three minutes; Bomi’s intense frown while typing rapidly on her phone is pretty weird from someone else’s perspective. “Is something wrong? You were looking at your phone as if it has dishonoured your entire family tree and now you want revenge.” “S-Sorry, I was busy with… something. What were you saying?” “I was asking if you’d like to decorate the tree while I plan out tomorrow’s dinner.” “Oh, we’re not ordering the usual this year?” “There’s only the two of us, so I m