A few days after BamBam’s appearance, Yi En was still in one of his moods. The whole ordeal with Blue Rose felt helpless to think of, but he couldn’t think of anything else no matter how hard he tried. He thought about taking a walk to clear his head, but thunder clapped overhead right when he’d finished tying his shoes, and then it started downpouring so fiercely that the entire room filled with the sound of its pounding against the window.

He needed to get out somehow, at the very least out of his head if not out of the dorm itself. He went down to the ground floor of the dorm to look for Junior in the student lounge to see if he had any ideas as healing as Matty’s Milkshakes had been, but found Youngjae there instead.

“Mark!” Youngjae said brightly. He was still a little terrified of Jiaer, JB, and Junior, but was getting along fairly smoothly with Yi En. This was his one point of contention with Junior, who didn’t like how often and how late he would stay over in Youngjae’s room playing video games. “What’s up?”

“Nothing terrific,” Yi En said, plopping down on the couch beside him. “What about you?”

“Just finishing up homework. I was going to grab some food, but nevermind that with this kind of weather.” He made a face.

“It’s the perfect day to game, though. Want to do some multiplayer later tonight?”

“Awww, I’d love to, but I'm going to that club down the street tonight. They’re having some kind of disco era theme or something.”

“I didn’t picture you as the clubbing sort.”

“I’m not, trust me. It’s just the clubbing is a university rite of passage and I want to get it over with so I never have to do it again.”

Yi En nodded, pondering this. With the way things were now, his future could go in any direction. Who knew how many university experiences and rite of passages he’d have time to enjoy before hit the fan? “Mind if I tag along?” he asked spontaneously. “I’ve got nothing to do tonight.”

Youngjae beamed. “Of course! That would be fun! I was worried about having to stand in a corner being awkward alone, but now you can be awkward with me!”

“Who says I would be awkward?” Yi En asked defensively.

“Wellllll, I just can’t imagine an emo kid going disco, unless there was some kind of panic involved.” Youngjae laughed hysterically at his own joke.

“Nice,” Yi En said with a grin. “Are you really from Solitude? I thought laughing was banned there.”

“It’s not specifically banned, but it was definitely frowned upon. And there wasn’t really anything to laugh about in Solitude, anyways. Here’s different. Everyone’s so funny. Life in general here just makes me want to laugh because it’s so fun.”

“That’s good. You’re a natural at laughing. I’m glad you get to do it more often.” Yi En felt another pang at that, wondering how long he’d get to join in on that laughter. He pushed it back, forcing a smile. “I’ll see you tonight, then. By the way, have you seen Junior around?”

“I think he’s in the laundry room. I saw him carrying down his hamper earlier.”

Yi En’s smile turned natural, hearing that. They’d been such idiots, not even knowing what a hamper was and thinking that using one would be the height of excitement. Still, learning how to do the laundry and teaching Junior had been an adventure of sorts, especially since the buttons on their dorm machine had been completely different than the one on the online tutorial Yi En had watched, and there had been a whole lot of panic as they'd tried to figure out the right settings on their own.

Junior was indeed in the laundry room, folding his stack of freshly dried plaid shirts. He looked up when Yi En entered with a somewhat strained smile. He’d been in a gloomy mood recently, too, but he couldn’t tell Yi En about it any more than Yi En could tell him about his own bleak moods. There had been plenty of hugging going on between them consequently, and while that made them both feel better, it also made Yi En at least feel like he was losing the last dregs of his willpower. He wanted to kiss Junior so badly that it was translating into a physical ache, but they were both still waiting for a solution that would possibly never come. Yi En getting to be together with whoever Junior really was had always seemed like a far off possibility, but now it looked like even ‘Mark and Junior’ would be having a rough time of it.

Not that it stopped both ‘Mark’ and ‘Yi En’ from wanting him, of course.

“Wow, thrilling stuff, Junior,” Yi En said, hopping up on the folding table. “Laundry on a Saturday. Stop the presses.”

“Shut up,” Junior said mildly. “It’s not as if you’re doing anything exciting either.”

“That’s because I’m relaxing before a night of insanity down at the local club.”

Junior wrinkled his nose. “Really?”

“Really. And you’re coming, too. I’m cashing in on my prize for winning our first game of ‘answer or pass.’”

Junior’s frown turned into a scowl. “No.”

“Come on, you gave me the victory. Fair is fair.”

“I wanted to wake up early tomorrow and get a head start on my Imperial History exam. I can’t go clubbing.”

“Wow, you’ll be the verrrrry first university student in the entire world to stay up late on a night where they have to get up early in the morning.” Yi En reached out, grabbing Junior’s ear and flapping it. “Please? I want you to go with me.”

“Why? Won’t there be other people you know there? Isn’t that why you’re going?”

“Well…yeah. Youngjae’s going.”

Junior batted Yi En’s hand away from his ear with a cold look. “Then go with Youngjae for all I care.” Under his breath, he muttered, “Jerk.”

“But I want you to be there.”

“Why? What could someone like me possibly contribute at a club?”

“That thing you always contribute when I’m feeling down. I don’t know what it’s called, but that you-being-there thing.”

“Then let’s just hang out in the dorm tonight. I promise I won’t go anywhere. It’s storming, anyways.”

“But I need to get out. I need to go somewhere where it’s hard to think.” He lowered his voice. “Please?”

Junior gave him a long look, then sighed. “You and me both, I guess. But promise me that we’ll come home before one? And that you won’t drink?”

“Deal,” Yi En said. He rested his hand on top of Junior’s tower of plaid shirts. “So, which one is it going to be? The royal blue one? The powder blue one? The royal blue one that’s a shade less royal than the other royal blue one?”

Junior tried to look annoyed, but he was smiling for real this time—the eye whiskers appeared. He grabbed Yi En’s hand and pulled it away, in the process lacing their fingers together. “Cut it out,” he said. But Yi En was very much glad he’d done it, with his hand fitted warmly against Junior’s, feeling the comforting heat of his palm.

The club, Shakers, was a cheerful and campy place, which at least got Junior to stop muttering under his breath about how he was 100% sure it would be somewhere shady where they’d end up drugged or attacked. The environment also seemed to put Youngjae in his element, and within seconds of stepping inside, he was bopping his head up and down to the disco track the DJ was playing.

“Do you dance?” Yi En asked Junior as they snagged a booth where they could watch the dancefloor action before joining in. Most of the other clubbers were fellow university students, dressed in disco era fashions and holding onto colorful drinks. There was a pretty even blend of people who could move fluidly around the dancefloor, and those who had no sense of rhythm but were giving it their best anyways.

“No,” Junior said. “We don’t dance much in New Hampden.”

Yi En nodded. Of course dancing wouldn’t be much of a thing in Solitude, especially the modern style of very immodest and risqué dancing.

“We don’t dance in Solitude, but screw that now!” Youngjae said eagerly. “I’m ready to give it a try. I’m going to watch everyone else and try to pick up the moves from them.” Immediately, he began watching the dancers out on the floor raptly.

“What about you, do you dance?” Junior asked Yi En.

“A little. I never really got to put it into practice, though. I will tonight, if you dance with me.”

Junior shook his head. “Sorry, but I really don’t feel like making a fool of myself by trying.”

“I’ll dance with you, Mark,” Youngjae said. “Looking like a fool is nothing to me.” He didn’t catch Junior’s frown, but Yi En did.

“I think he means just doing silly disco dances, not slow dancing with me or anything,” Yi En whispered.

“What?” Junior snapped defensively. “No need to explain, I’m not jealous.”

“I never said you were jealous.”

“I can feel the implication.”

“That sounds like a 'you' problem.” Yi En rested his hand on Junior’s knee, and Junior squirmed for a second, but didn’t knock him off.

“So, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you two,” Youngjae said, turning his attention back to them.

“Yeah…?” Yi En said. They hadn’t been making their (not fully existent) relationship public, but he wondered now if Youngjae had picked up on it.

“What the heck is up with Jackson and JB? Like, mentally are they OK?”

Oh, that. Yi En had been hearing that question since day one—he was surprised it had taken Youngjae so long to ask.

“Jackson just really, really, really likes gunslingers,” Yi En said. “And it’s fine, since it kind of works with his job.”

“As a ranch hand, you mean?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And what about JB?” Youngjae asked Junior. “I want to like him, but he basically threatened to kill me that one time!”

“He does that,” Junior said calmly. “It’s a bad habit of his.”

“It’s not a very normal habit, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just…how he was raised.”

“Oh. A military household?”

“Something like that. But you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Now that he knows you, he has nothing but nice things to say.”

“I’m surprised they’re not around right now,” Youngjae said. “They usually follow you around like shadows.”

“They’re almost definitely outside or in the general area right now,” Yi En said. He could imagine Jiaer detailing the perimeter for threats as they spoke. After their meeting with BamBam, he was even more vigilant than normal.

“Hopefully they brought an umbrella, then.” Youngjae stood up. “I think I’m ready to start dancing. Want to join?”

“In a little bit,” Yi En said. For now, he wanted to keep Junior company since he’d made him attend in the first place.

While Youngjae was on the floor doing the hustle, Yi En leaned into Junior’s shoulder. “It’s not so bad here, is it?”

Junior shrugged. “It’s not my kind of place, really. But it’s an experience. Metro Unionites sure have interesting ways of having fun.”

“We can’t all be hipster bookworms.”

“Or moody scene kids.” Junior ruffled Yi En’s hair. “You make it bearable, I guess. Being here.”

“Why, thank you. I try.” Yi En paused. “By the way, have you been feeling better recently?”

Junior tilted his head. “What? Did you think I was sick?”

“No. Just…preoccupied? Just like I’ve been. You know, all doom and gloomy. I understand if you can’t talk about it.”

“I can’t,” Junior said softly. “But please don’t worry about it.”

“I dunno. I kind of can’t help worrying about you naturally anymore.”

“I know. I feel the same.” He tapped his fingers against the table. “What would you do if someone was trying to make you do something, and it was impossible to get out of it?”

“How impossible?”

“Like, someone pointing a gun to your head and threatening to kill you if you don’t do it impossible.”

Mark thought. “I’d prioritize survival, definitely. And sometimes playing along with people can get them to let their guard down long enough for you to get out. And even if you can’t tell me the details, just know you’re not without help. If someone was taking advantage of you or forcing you into something, I’d help you. Somehow.”

“I’d help you, too,” Junior said softly. “But I wonder sometimes if I’m actually strong enough to do it. If any of us really are, in the face of everything bad that’s out there.”

A few minutes later, Youngjae came back to their table, looking like a happily panting puppy. “OK, Mark, I’m cashing in on your dance card,” he said. “Come disco with me. I’ll teach you the basics.”

Yi En glanced at Junior, who dropped his hand and made a face that tried to say ‘I don’t care at all about you dancing with another guy’ but actually said ‘I care a lot.’ Yi En didn’t want to rile him up, but at the same time didn’t want to leave Youngjae dancing the whole night alone after promising to go clubbing with him. “Just one dance,” he said. He squeezed Junior’s knee before standing up. “And like I said, Junior, the offer still stands if you want to dance with me, too.”

“Mmm,” Junior said noncommittally. He turned to Youngjae and said something in Solitudanese. Youngjae said something back with a careless shrug, and Junior sighed and waved his hand as if to say ‘go on.’

Yi En followed Youngjae to the dance floor. “What did he say to you?” he asked.

“He just reminded me that in Solitude, dancing was only for marriage partners.”

Yi En rolled his eyes. “Just like kissing and and pretty much anything enjoyable, right? What did you say to him?”

“I reminded him we’re not in Solitude anymore. The rules are different.”

“You’re not interested in marrying me, are you?”

Youngjae sized him up. “Are you kidding? Jackson would probably shoot me, and if he didn’t, JB probably would because if I married you, it would make Junior upset. He likes you, you know.”

“Good. I like him.”

“Let me just warn you, though—getting together with us Solitudanese isn’t easy. Even if we break them, we’re still haunted by laws and rules. And until the rebellion wins, we can’t really be free.”

“I’ll keep cheering on the rebellion, then.”

“It takes more than cheering to win a war.” Youngjae wiggled his shoulders. “Now shut up and dance, Mark! None of this gloomy stuff during a disco!”

Yi En found disco dancing incredibly weird, but still fun. Youngjae made for an entertaining partner as well; Yi En envied him his ability to find a spark of joy in everything he did. It helped take his mind off things, but still, he couldn’t fully shake off the sadness in his heart. It felt like he was missing something. He was enjoying dancing, but it really wasn’t what he wanted to be doing in his heart of hearts. He was pretty sure it was because Junior wasn’t doing it with him. Youngjae was great, but there were just some people you couldn’t substitute in your life.

“I’m going to sit the next couple out,” Yi En said over the music when the new disco track started. “But by all means, you should keep going. You’re great at this.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Youngjae said. “And good luck with Junior!”

But when Yi En went back to the booth, Junior wasn’t there. There was a huge puddle of blue liquid on their table that hadn’t been there before, though.

“You tryna find your friend?” a slurry voice said from behind him. An incredibly drunk looking girl stood there with an empty glass. “M’sorrrrrry, but I spilled my drink on him. I’m such a clum-clum, dumb dumb!”

“OK…” Yi En said. “Do you know where he went?”

“That spin-spin place next door. With the…y’know…the…whaddya-call-em? The spin-spin boxes?”

Yi En had no idea what she was talking about, but doubted that he’d get much more sense out of her than that. Instead, he thanked her and went outside to see what was next door. It was one of those shops where people could do laundry if they didn’t own a machine themselves…a laundromat, he thought they were called. He smiled faintly. A ‘spin-spin place’ worked just fine, too.

He opened the door and stepped inside. It was pretty much deserted—apparently no one wanted to drag their laundry out through the rain or spend their Saturday night at the spin-spin place. The assistant behind the counter was flipping through a gossip magazine with a glazed look and didn’t seem to notice that Yi En had walked in.

Yi En couldn’t immediately see Junior, but after weaving his way through the ‘spin-spin boxes,’ found him by one of the washers. He was wearing a plain black tank, his arms bare. His plaid shirt was spinning away in the washer, stained blue with the drunk girl’s drink. Yi En realized this was the first time he’d seen Junior’s arms since that very first, half- meeting between them. He swallowed, not for the first time finding it hard to breathe around him.

Junior looked up, meeting his eyes. He didn’t say anything, and there was something in his expression that confused Yi En, as if something big had changed within him in the brief time they’d been apart.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Yi En said, trying to keep his tone light. “What is it with you and doing your laundry?”

Junior didn’t smile. “It’s better than parties. When I’m done here, can we go home? Or if you want to keep dancing, can I go home?”

Yi En sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like clubbing.”

“No. What’s wrong?”

Junior sighed, then hoisted himself up so he was sitting on the folding station. “It’s going to make me sound stupid.”

“Try me.”

“I said I wasn’t going to, but I got jealous.”

Yi En blinked. “What? I mean, haven’t I been making it clear to you how into you I am? And Youngjae and I aren’t anything.”

“I know. I know how you feel, but…” He reached out as if he was going to touch Yi En on the arm, then slowly dropped his hand. “I guess I was just jealous about all the possibilities you two could have over you and me. That if you loved him instead of me, you’d have a better chance at the happy ending that I probably can’t give to you.”

“Who’s to say that? Wouldn’t I automatically be happier with you, getting to be with the person I loved the most?”

“It’s the ‘getting to be with’ part. Someone else could easily give you that. And I don’t know if I can.”

“You don’t know if you can’t, either. It’s a risk I’m willing to take, if it means there’s even the smallest possibility that you and I could happen. Are you willing?”

Junior swallowed. “I wanted to wait until I had an answer, but...if I said I don’t have one yet, but still want you at the same time…would that be terrible?”

Yi En shook his head. “I’m the exact same as you. I don’t have a single answer to anything outside of being in love with you.”

This time Junior did reach out and take his hand. “Then would it be terrible if I said I just wanted to be nothing but in love with you for one night and forget everything else until the morning?”

“No,” Yi En said, squeezing his hand. “As long as you remember that waking up doesn’t mean we have to stop trying to find an answer.”

Junior didn’t say anything. He nodded, then pulled Yi En forward by his hand closer to him. Yi En let go of him and placed his hands on his knees, gently pushing them apart so he could step between them and lean in as close as he could get. Junior’s warm breath tickled against his lips in a sweet exhale, and then they were touching, their breath melding together. It was Yi En’s first kiss—most likely Junior’s, too—and the first thought that came with it was so this is what it feels like. It soothed him from the inside, just as Junior’s embrace had, and at the same time sent the river of heat he so often felt around Junior streaming through him until it pooled so deeply that he felt he could drown in it. Everything about it was so incredibly physical—the weight of it, the feel of Junior’s soft lips and warm tongue, the way he responded to it in so many different places in his body.

Yi En drew away, looking up into Junior’s eyes. He’d never in his life felt like a true royal before, but for the very first time he felt all the strength of an Emperor coursing through him. The universe was at his fingertips, and he wanted it all.

“Let’s go home now,” Yi En said softly. He still felt dazed from Junior’s kiss.

“What about my shirt?” Junior asked. He self-consciously ran his fingers up and down his bare arms, which only made Yi En more aware of them. He wanted the warmth of that skin wrapped around him, clinging to his back.

“You have twenty more just like it at home. Let someone else have that one.” He took Junior’s hand, helping him off the folding station, then pulled off his own leather jacket and dropped it over Junior’s shoulders. “You said you would forget everything else tonight. So forget that.”

Junior smiled then, a smile Yi En somehow felt like he had known and would know his entire life. “I already did.”

They ran home through the rain, but it still soaked through their clothes so much that by time they made it to their dorm room, they were both dripping on the floor. Neither of them cared. Yi En pushed Junior against the door and kissed him hard, squeezing him by his waist and then reaching around to do the same to his backside. Junior groaned into the kiss, placing his hands on Yi En’s chest, his fingernails digging in a little.

After a moment, Junior pulled away, out of breath. “Mark,” he whispered. It wasn’t the right name, but it didn’t bother Yi En anymore since he was so used to Junior calling him by it. “Can you do something for me?”

“Anything,” Yi En said.

“I don’t know how much you were planning on…this…but I don’t have anything, and I wasn’t sure if you did.”

Yi En didn’t. He had forgotten about it entirely. As someone who’d lived a cooped-up life without much promise of ever getting to enjoy in actuality, he’d never dwelled much on the practicalities of it over wondering about the feelings.

“There’s a dispenser in the ground level bathroom,” Junior said. “Can you…?”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it,” he said. He pecked Junior’s lips before reaching for the door handle. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

It was good to take a moment to catch his breath and wrap his head around what would soon be happening. He didn’t have any experience to fall back on, so parts of it were sure to be clumsy. Even if he aimed for perfection, he probably wouldn’t meet it. But it would be a foundation. He’d learn some things about Junior’s body that he could use to make it better for every time after.

Please, he thought. Just let there be a time after this. Let me have the chance to just keep on loving and loving him forever.

The Union, being the -positive country it was, did indeed have a dispenser in the bathroom, as well as a small basket of little tear-off packets of lubricant on the counter. Yi En grabbed a handful, then fumbled in his wallet to dig out change for the condoms, and got a few to be safe. With that finished, he took a steadying breath and went to take the elevator back upstairs.

Seconds after he’d entered the door, a blast of steam hit him from their dorm bathroom. When he glanced inside, he saw a scene just like the one when he’d first met Junior. He was standing in front of the mirror in a towel, the residual heat of a quick shower making the air around him sultry. He’d taken his dorky glasses off, and with his hair dark from the water, you couldn’t tell as clearly that it was that awful shade of dyed brown. This was close to his real self, Yi En guessed, or as close to it as he could get.

Junior turned to look at him. “Aren’t you going to say it?”

“What?”

“We have to stop meeting like this?”

“I honestly don’t at all mind meeting like this.” He walked closer to Junior. “I was gone for you from the moment I saw you like this, you know.”

“So you’re shallow?”

“Maybe. But only for you.” He wrapped an arm around Junior’s waist, and placed the other on his chest, trailing his way down to his wet abdomen. When he went a little lower, he ran into Junior’s hand, which was holding the towel in place. Yi En looked back up into his eyes, which looked back at him with unfiltered longing.

“This is the first time I’ve ever done something like this,” Junior whispered.

“Me, too.”

“I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“You won’t. Not to me.”

“No. And even if I did…I want to know what it feels like. Even if it’s just once, I want to know what it’s like. Doing it with someone I love.”

“Let’s not aim for just once,” Yi En said, drawing closer to his lips. “I want to know for a lifetime.”

“Sssh. Remember, I erased the future tonight. There’s just now. We have no lifetime to give.”

Yi En could feel Junior’s hand moving from his towel, dropping it to the floor. His breath caught, his head going cloudy with steam.

“Take me to bed?” Junior asked.

“Yes,” Yi En said, and took his hand.

The rain pounded against him, but Jaebum only felt it distantly. Every inch of his clothing was soaked—and there was nothing quite like the feeling of sopping leather clinging to your legs—but it didn’t really bother him more than any minor annoyance would. He had trained for all of this ages ago. He could fight in the blistering heat or the frigid snow. He could spot and eliminate an enemy in a downpour. Perhaps he could even shoot individual droplets of rain if he so chose.

He’d started his stake out in the back room of Shakers. Clubs didn’t have windows, usually, but they did have a lot of security, so he’d broken into the security room so he could keep an eye on Jinyoung without directly inserting himself between him and Mark—he knew Jinyoung would be furious at him for doing that. So he watched the two of them (plus Youngjae) through grainy images on video screens. He couldn’t hear them, but could recognize the tension between them through the images alone. You never saw that kind of tension in Solitude where the concept of ‘lovers’ didn’t really exist, but it was still somehow familiar to him, even though he was sure he’d never felt it: wanting someone, but dancing on the edge of being able to have them. Jinyoung looked on the verge of popping like a balloon at the slightest pinprick touch, and Mark was no better.

Eventually, Youngjae came to get Mark to dance with him. Jinyoung watched them a little sadly for awhile, and though Jaebum at first rolled his eyes at Jinyoung getting jealous, he suddenly realized after a little thought that it probably wasn’t the normal kind of jealousy. It was jealousy over the freedom someone like Youngjae could give someone, the kind of freedom the Prince of Solitude didn’t have at his disposal.

And then the drunk girl spilled her glass of colorful alcohol all over Jinyoung. Jaebum leapt to his feet, snatching his shotgun. Was this a potential spy of Blue Rose’s trying to incapacitate him? He tried to kick down the door to the security room and into the club, not realizing it was dead bolted until a good minute or so later. He shot the lock off, but by time he made it out to the club, Jinyoung was already gone. Mark was now talking to the drunk girl, asking her where Jinyoung was, so Jaebum followed him outside at a distance as he headed towards the “spin-spin place” (Jaebum didn’t know for the life of him what it was actually called).

Unlike the club, the spin-spin place was almost entirely glass, as if the architect had assumed every pedestrian walking past would be just dying to look in, so Jaebum stayed outside in the rain to keep an eye on the building. Mark and Jinyoung seemed to be the only two inside, other than a very bored looking employee reading a gossip magazine, but to be sure, Jaebum crept along the perimeter, detailing the area for possible threats.

Almost immediately, he heard a noise to his right, whipped out his gun, and whirled around. A familiar revolver was pointing back at him. He sighed and lowered his gun.

“Should have known you’d be here, outlaw,” he muttered.

“Same to you, partner,” Jackson said. “Surprised I didn’t see you earlier.”

“Were you monitoring the club?”

“Through the roof. You?”

“In the security room. Did you see any threats about?”

“The drunk girl is nothing more than a boozer. If you ask me, the greatest threat to our partners is that they’re dealing with.”

“Is resolving it the threat, or leaving it unresolved?”

“Leaving it unresolved, of course. That’s the kind of thing that needs some good resolving.” Jackson paused, looking Jaebum up and down. “You seem to be in want of a hat. Want one of mine?”

“I’m fine.” Jackson’s cowboy hat didn’t seem to be doing much of anything besides collecting water which pooled over and down the front brim in waterfalls. In spite of the hat, he was still quite wet, though his heavy duster wasn’t the kind of thing that could cling to his body like Jaebum’s clothes were clinging to his.

“Well, can’t say I rightly mind,” Jackson said. “You’re a nice sight, wet like that.”

Jaebum blinked. “What?”

“I said, you’re a nice sight, wet like that.”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Didn’t sound like you did.”

“What are you playing at?”

Jackson shrugged. “Probably something similar to what Mark and Junior are playing at.”

“They’re in love,” Jaebum protested. “We’re not…” He trailed off, staring at Jackson in something that could have been revulsion if Jaebum had actually managed to call it up instead of the flustered heat that came up instead.

“I am,” Jackson said.

“No, you’re not,” Jaebum said stupidly.

“You don’t live in my head, do you, partner?” Jackson asked, tapping the brim of his hat and sending down another waterfall. “Because I’ve been having thoughts from the beginning, and I’d say a good many of them are about you.”

“But you’re supposed to be like me,” Jaebum insisted. “You’re supposed…you’re supposed to only be about protecting someone…about your guns…”

“I’m a man,” Jackson said simply. “Guns do a lot for me. You do something else. And honestly, I like what you do better than anything.”

“I haven’t done anything!”

“Maybe nothing intentional, but just seeing you squeezes down on my trigger. You could set me off just like that.” He looked Jaebum square in the eye. “You feel it, don’t you partner?”

“I don’t feel anything,” Jaebum said. But it was a lie. He even felt the rain now, soaking through him and leaving his skin so frigid that he could feel the warmth from the inside sharply in contrast. He felt bare and exposed and strangely afraid, even though he had always lived his life so fearlessly, charging into battles guns blazing without much of a thought of living or dying as long as the truly good things in the world were safe. But battles had always been in his realm of understanding. He knew the strategies and the maneuvers and the consequences. Every battle was different, but his mission was always the same: protect what must be protected.

Love was outside everything he knew. He’d grown up holding the idea of it as forbidden, the strictest and most important of all the laws he had to follow. And not only forbidden, but it had also always seemed frightening, a thing that could seduce you only to betray you and leave you open to shame and punishment. That wasn’t the kind of thing he needed in his life. He’d always done just fine without it.

Until, his mind added for him. Until you met him. Admit it, you coward. Coming here changed everything. You’re not a weapon. You’re a man, too, and he does something for you nothing else does. Exactly what you do to him. A squeeze on your trigger. You want him to press down all the way, and you know it.

You can feel anything. Anything you want. But only if you let yourself.

Jaebum exhaled. “I always knew you were an outlaw,” he grumbled lowly. “Stealing things that don’t belong to you.”

“I think it belongs to me, partner,” Jackson said with one of those smiles of his. “Which still makes me a cowboy. Completely honorable, and one of the good guys.”

“Good guy my . You did something to me. Something I never asked for.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking of what I did to you, partner, but what I’m going to do. Things you’re not only going to be asking but begging for. And if that doesn’t get you going, just think of what I’m going to let you do to me.” He nodded to the window. “Starting with that.”

Jaebum looked inside the spin-spin place. Jinyoung and Mark were kissing so passionately that one would never imagine that Jinyoung had ever been bound by rules that forbade it. A part of Jaebum felt worried for Jinyoung, but another part felt happy for him. And yet another part felt a sudden stab of curiosity. What would it feel like? He’d never wondered about it before in his life, but now…

He turned back to Jackson. His skin was always so warm, so that was probably how it would feel. Warm and welcoming. And Jaebum had never been colder in his life than he was in this downpour. He could do with something so blissfully heated taking it away.

“Jackson-” Jaebum started to say. But before he could finish, the door to the building opened and Jinyoung and Mark stepped out into the rain. They were instantly drenched, but they didn’t seem to notice—they didn’t notice Jackson and Jaebum standing not far off either. They just grabbed each other’s hands and ran off down the street.

Jaebum made to follow them, but Jackson stopped him. “Don’t,” he said.

Jaebum instinctively pressed his gun against Jackson’s chest. “Don’t you dare stop me! It’s my-” Jaebum stopped himself short of saying it was his actual job to follow Jinyoung. “It’s what you and I do, when it comes to them,” he said instead.

“I know,” Jackson said, tapping the neck of his revolver against Jaebum’s cheek. “But this time, it shouldn’t involve us. Let them have their moment. It’s bad enough that they couldn’t even enjoy their first kiss without us watching. Lovemaking should be another story. And who do you think you are, pulling that gun on me over and over again? We both know I’m a faster shot than you.”

The word ‘lovemaking’ seemed to echo through Jaebum’s head in Jackson’s voice, and something inside him—his last piece of resistance—snapped. Before he fully knew what he was doing, he pushed Jackson against the wall just like he had that one time at the Outdoorsman’s Superstore, but this time when the excitement flashed through Jackson’s eyes, he knew exactly what it meant and kissed him about it.

It was wet. A waterfall of water slid down the brim of Jackson’s cowboy hat and into Jaebum’s face, and Jaebum’s soaked leather pants made the worst kind of noise as Jackson pressed up against him. Their hands were clumsy, and they were each holding guns that were more of a hindrance than they’d most likely ever been in either of their lives. It was probably one of the most unsightly in the history of first kisses.

It was also the best thing Jaebum had ever felt, wetness and all. It wasn’t the small details that counted, to him. It was the entire act of it, the opening of himself to another person. And not just any person—a person he was willing to break every rule on the planet for. And nothing could be more perfect than that, not even the world’s most flawlessly executed kiss.

“Lovemaking,” Jaebum said when they pulled apart.

“Yeah?” Jackson lifted an eyebrow. “What about it?”

Jaebum was inexperienced when it came to it in the truest sense, but now he wasn’t so sure Jackson was. He didn’t want to come across as stupid about it, but he only knew the generalities of it—put Knob A into Hole B and repeat until Response C happens—and nothing further. He knew guns inside and out, but knew next to nothing of the inner workings of a human body—not even his own.

“Do you want to?” he asked instead. It was important to clarify that first—if Jackson didn’t even want to, he was jumping the gun too soon anyways.

“You’re damn right I do!” Jackson said enthusiastically. “Where?”

Where? He hadn’t even thought that would be an issue. Didn’t people do it in beds?

“Back…in the dorm?” Jaebum answered uncertainly. Was this some kind of test?

“Naw, partner, that’s where Junior and Mark are. They’re next door, so we’d hear them doing it through the wall, and they’d hear us. I’m not looking for a disruption.”

“Then…?”

“C’mere.” Jackson took his hand. “There are some motels ‘round these parts. We can have a little privacy.” He held his hand tighter. “And don’t be nervous.”

“I’m not nervous,” Jaebum snapped, even though he was.

“You don’t do this kind of thing in Solitude, I know.”

“I’m from New Hampden.”

“If you don’t know, I can teach you.”

“And what, are you an expert?”

“I reckon I know my way around a man's body well enough considering I am one. And as for what makes me feel good, I'd say I'm a fair hand at that having taught myself some things over time. And I can teach you a thing or two about yourself, I reckon.”

Jaebum stopped in his tracks. “Stop calling me partner, dammit.”

“You haven’t had a problem with it before now.”

“Because I was your fellow back then. But now…I’m about to let you mess me up even more than I already have, so I’d think you’d at least think of me as a sweetheart, wouldn’t you?” He grumbled, “ing cowboy,” under his breath, in case he’d just made himself sound pathetic.

Jackson grinned, and stood on his toes to plant a kiss on Jaebum’s lips. “You want to be sure of how I think of you? If you could see my mind right now, you’d see nothing but you inside of me and me inside of you. I reckon you’re right. We’re not partners anymore.” He kissed him again. “Now shuddup and come to bed with me, sweetheart.”