“What a perfect couple.”

“Look at them, they look good together.”

“They are made for each other.”

“Look at the way she holds her, it’s so sweet.” 

 

I wish what they say is real. I wish we were a perfect couple, a lovely couple. But no, we weren’t. At least, it is only me wishing we were. 

 

“Are you okay?” She asks me with the sweetness in her voice. But I know, that will disappear as soon as we are alone. 

 

“I am okay, just a little bit cold.” I fake a smile and she smiles back. Which I know, a fake one too.

 

“Siyeon! You came!” Minji, my best friend came and hug me tight.

 

“How can I missed my best friend’s wedding party?” I hug back. She looks at my wife and smile, telling her thank you for coming along, in which she smiles back and say that of course, she will come along because she is also a friend.

 

“You should go, Minji. Don’t let Bora wait for you for too long.” 

 

“Hahaha… I will. See you later, Siyeon, Yubin.”

 

Nobody believes me when I tell them that you’re out of your mind

Nobody believes me when I tell them that there’s so much you hide

You treat me like a queen when we go out

Wanna show everyone what our love’s about

All wrapped up in me whenever there is a crown

But when no one's around

 

I walk into my room once we got home from the party. And you left once I step into the house. Going to your girlfriend's place I assume. 

 

You never agreed to this marriage, you opposed it and I know. You tell them you have a girlfriend, but they tell you to break up with her and marry me instead. It was our parent’s idea and you hate it. 

 

In which I came out with a deal. You do what you want, you can meet your girlfriend and all. But when there is a family matter that came up, we have to put on an act that we were okay. 

 

I know you hated it, you hate me for not opposing the idea of us getting married to each other. We were once good friends, but we became distance since the marriage matter brought up. 

 

I want to say no too, but you know why I didn’t? Because they told me, if I didn’t do it, then they will ask my little sister instead. And I can’t let that happen, she is too young.

 

Nobody will believe me if I tell them that we are not what we look like, we are not a perfect couple at all. It was all just an act that we put up. 

 

They won’t believe me even if I told them that there is no love between us. You only treat me like a queen when we are outside because you want to show them that we are okay when we are not. 

 

Minji and Bora, also my sister, they knew about it. But they keep it mum because it is not their business in the first place. Because it is our problem that we have to deal with ourselves. And so they play along with us. 

 

My sister hates you, but on the other side, she respects you. You were the clever one between us, hence she will always come looking for you if she has a problem with the study. But, knowing how you treated me, she can’t help but feel disappointed. 

 

They told me to leave you, to cancel the marriage. But I can’t. Why? Because our family’s business won’t survive if I do so. Because your father is the one helping my father’s business. 

 

There’s no kindness in your eyes

The way you look at me, it’s not right

I can tell what’s going on this time

There’s a stranger in my life

You’re not the person that I once knew

Are you scared to let them know it’s you?

If they could only see you like I do

Then they would see a stranger too

 

You and your girlfriend plan for a vacation. I know, because I overheard you two talks about it.

 

But do you know, the day you were supposed to fly, that is my birthday. And our family plans a party.

 

I told you about it, and what you said after hurts me.  ‘Just tell them I won’t be there, I am busy with meeting overseas.’

 

And so I tell the lie, and they took it in as if it’s nothing.  ‘She is busy, we can’t do anything about that.’  They said. If only they knew.

 

You are now the same Yubin that I once knew. She will never leave me alone on my birthday before. She will always be there for me, always celebrate it with me. But you changed.

 

One day your father called me, saying that he wants to talk. So I went to him and we talked. He asked if we were fine, and I told him we were. He asked if you treat me well, I told him you do.

 

If only I could tell the truth, then they will know that we were the only stranger. 

 

There is no warmth in your eyes, the way you look at me, it’s empty without any feelings. And I know we will never be the same anymore. The warmth in your eyes will never be there anymore.

 

Did I ever do anything that was this cruel to you?

Did I ever make you wonder who was standing in the room?

You made yourself look perfect in every way

So, when this goes down. I’m the one that will be blamed

Your plan is working, so you can just walk away

Baby, your secret’s safe

 

It’s been 3 years since our marriage. And we were still the same. You and your girlfriend broke up years ago, but you never once thinking of giving me a chance. 

 

I love you, Yubin. I always did ever since we were little. Ever since this marriage topic came into our lives, we were drifted apart. But my love for you never change. 

 

“Siyeon-ah, it’s been 3 years…” 

 

Me, Minji and Bora are now sitting at a café near our home, catching up with each other. I know they are worried about me, and I feel sorry for it.

 

“I know… I…”

 

“Why don’t you just leave her? I mean, now that you are the one taking over the company. We can always help.” 

 

“I don’t want to disappoint my parents.” 

 

“This is not healthy for you, your relationship isn’t healthy, Siyeon-ah.”

 

As much as I want to deny it, Bora is right. This is not healthy at all. But what can I do? I don’t want to disappoint my family, and I know she won't want to either. 

 

“What did you do for you to be treated like this… you didn’t deserve it… you deserve to be loved, Siyeon-ah.” 

 

My eyes start to get teary by Minji’s words. She always knows how to get to my weak side, but I don’t hate her. Because I know she cares. 

 

“I will see what I can do.” 

 

We drop the topic as soon as my sister came to join us.

 

“Can we talk.” I knock on her bedroom door that night. And she just answers with a hum and walks out from her room.

 

I put the paper that I have been holding in my hands in front of her, and she stares at me confused.

 

“I signed it, now I only need your signature.”

 

“Mind telling me what I am signing for?” she took the paper to take a closer look, and she stares at me after she saw the letters written on the paper. 

 

*Divorce Agreement*

 

“I see…” she said, and she signed it without thinking much.

 

“I will be moving out tomorrow, and about our parents, I already talk to your father about it.” 

 

“And he is okay?”

 

“I left before he could answer. I know they won’t be happy about it, but I couldn’t care less. You are free, well, you always are since the beginning.” 

 

I took the papers and I went back into my room. 

 

Such a long way back from this place we are at

When I think of all the time I’ve wasted, I could cry

 

I stare at the luggage sitting beside my bed. I took a deep breath and I pull it along with me. Leaving the house that I once lived. 

 

I walk into my car, it’s in the middle of the night when I left. Because I don’t dare to look at you the next morning, afraid that I will change my mind and stay. Even though I know it hurts.

 

Driving to my sister’s house in the middle of the night, tears falling freely from my eyes. Listening to music that plays through the audio of my car, I think about when we used to be friends. 

 

Such good memories will never be the same anymore. Thinking of all the time I’ve wasted, staying by your side, I could cry even more. But I don’t want to waste my tears anymore. So I wiped it clean and put on a smile when I saw my little sister.

 

She welcomes me with a warm hug, telling me it’s okay and I am now free. And that is the word that I want to hear the most. ‘Free’

 

We were once good friends, but know, we walk our path, and we were once again a strangers to each other.