Chapter One: The Chaos

"Wheein? Are you okay?" Hwasa asked, her voice low as they bowed their goodbyes to the last interviewer of the day. The girls were in the midst of the chaos of their latest comeback, and while each of them were utterly burnt out and tired, Wheein had been unusually quiet for the past few days, and Hwasa has of course noticed.

Wheein shrugged slightly and offered Hwasa a simple "yeah" in response. Hwasa frowned. She knew the girl next to her better than anyone, and if it weren't for her other members nearby and their manager being in the room, the maknae would have confronted her friend then and there. She could tell when Wheein was trying to hide something from her, not that it happened often, but Hwasa knew the signs of her friend not wanting to burden other people with her problems. It had happened last year too, during the height of their Four Seasons Tour, and resulted in a tearful admittance from her friend that she was battling with depression. Ever since, Hwasa had made it her duty to be more aware of her friend's emotions and make sure that she was doing okay, vowing that she wouldn't let her get swept away in the blur of fame and pressure.

"Ready to go?" Solar asked her members, standing from the sofa where they had all squished together for the interview, and offered a hand to Moonbyul, pulling her up too. Wheein nodded, and Hwasa sighed with uneasiness as she followed the girls from the room and into the two cars waiting outside. It was typical of Hwasa and Wheein to share one car while their unnies took the other as the pairs of best friends happened to live on opposite sides of the city. Hwasa waved a goodbye to her other members before preparing herself for the conversation she needed to have with Wheein.

"Jung Wheein. Tell me what's wrong," Hwasa said as she climbed into the back seat with her friend, not minding that it would annoy Wheein, who usually kept the back of the car to herself on the way home. Wheein kept her eyes staring out of the window next to her, gulping at Hwasa's question. "Hey," Hwasa tried more softly this time, reaching out for Wheein's shoulder and looking at her friend worriedly when their eyes eventually met.

"I'm fine, just tired," Wheein replied simply, and as much as Hwasa wanted it to be the truth, she didn't miss the way Wheein was blinking too quickly and her lips, signs she had come to recognise as meaning that her friend was struggling.

"Can I come over tonight?" Hwasa tried, changing the subject as to not make her friend defensive and shut down. Wheein bit her lip.

"I just want to go home and sleep, Hyejin-ah. Sorry," Wheein said, feeling bad about letting her friend down but she didn't want to be around people and infect them with her unshakable mood. And especially not the one person who she would inevitably crumble in front of.

Hwasa pouted but didn't push it. By the time they had reached Wheein's apartment, the girl was almost asleep and Hwasa had to gently shake her awake and usher her out of the car. Once her friend was in her building, Hwasa decided that she couldn't wait for Wheein to be alright like she had in the past. She had to do something.

"Hey, Haneul?"

"Yes Miss Hwasa?" The driver asked.

"Can you go on a different route? I need to do something."

***

Wheein had just finished her third cup of beer when she heard the doorbell ring. She set her cup down carefully and sighed as she got up, turning the tv down and making her way to her front door. She opened it cautiously, hoping that it wasn't the old man who lived in the apartment above hers who liked to invite her for dinner at least once a week. Instead of the creepy smile of the old man, however, she was greeted with the equally creepy smile of her best friend.

"Surprise!" Hwasa said, and Wheein frowned.

"What are you doing here? I said-" Wheein began, but was silenced by Hwasa holding up bags full of snacks and bottles in surrender.

"I just miss you," Hwasa said with a pout and Wheein relented, gesturing for her friend to enter and shaking her head in amusement as she sprinted to her sofa and dived into the pile of blankets she always claimed whenever she visited.

"What did you bring?Wheein asked as she slumped down onto the other end of the sofa, watching as her friend smiled brightly as she rifled through her bags, throwing different kinds of chips at her and listing off each one, then pulling out some cans of beer and a bottle of Soju.

"But it seems like you already beat me to it," Hwasa said, nodding at the empty cans littering Wheein's coffee table. Wheein's cheeks flushed pink.

"I just...it helps me sleep?"

Hwasa raised an eyebrow, and Wheein rolled her eyes. "Of course it does."

The girls settled into meaningless conversation and stupid jokes, as they usually did whenever they were left alone with alcohol and a free schedule the next day, but when Wheein's phone buzzed with a text alert and Hwasa watched her friend's face fall, she knew it was time to get serious again.

"So what's really been going on, Wheein-ah?" Hwasa said, half-full of chips as she took a long swig of her beer, watching Wheein intensely.

Wheein let out a small breath, her heart racing as she scratched her head in discomfort. "My dad called me last week."

"...your real dad?" Hwasa asked quietly, her heart beating almost as rapidly as Wheein's. Wheein nodded. "Why? He's not allowed to; how did he get your number?"

Wheein shrugged, struggling to meet her best friend's eyes, choosing to play with the strings of her hoodie as she continued. "He was awful, as usual. And threatening to do all these things and asking for money, as usual," Wheein said, her words getting caught in as she spoke. She could see Hwasa's jaw clench from the corner of her eyes and took a big sip of her beer.

"Tell me you didn't give him anything," Hwasa said, the anger in her voice strong and fiery.

"No, not yet-"

"Not yet?!" Hwasa asked incredulously, moving closer to her friend and leaning down to meet her eyes. "Why would you give him anything?"

Wheein met Hwasa's eyes with her own and they soon began to blur with the tears swimming in them. "He said he'd tell everyone about Nayeon."

Hwasa gasped, unable to hide her shock as she spoke quietly, as if someone could be listening in on them. "But he doesn't have proof of anything, right?"

Wheein shook her head firmly. "No, he doesn't have anything but just the scandal of it..." Hwasa could hear the panic in the way Wheein's voice shook, noted the wetness of her eyes and leaned over to pull her into a tight hug.

"Wheein it was years ago, we were kids," Hwasa tried, but she could feel her friend's uneven breathing as a sign that nothing was working.

"I still kissed her. And he saw, Hyejin," Wheein said, the words sticking to as if they didn't want to be let out, a feeling she had been familiar with for a long time. This wasn't something she spoke about freely with Hwasa...it was an unspoken memory between them that was never discussed, that was left to be forgotten.

"I know," was all Hwasa could think to say, not knowing how to comfort her friend for once. "Does your mom know? Or manager unnie?"

Wheein shook her head, pulling away from Hwasa to sit up, her head suddenly spinning from the beer and stress. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

***

"Drink this," Hwasa said, passing her friend a glass as she stood up from being bent over the toilet. Wheein took the glass and sipped slowly, making eye contact with herself in the mirror and regretting it instantly. Her hair was a mess and her eyes red and bloodshot from crying. Hwasa watched her from her seat on the side next to the sink, her face unable to hide the guilt she felt.

"What?" Wheein asked, forcing a small smile, uncomfortable under her friend's stare.

Hwasa pouted, her voice thick with emotion as she spoke. "I wish you told me before. I feel bad for not noticing sooner."

Wheein laughed, genuinely this time, as she tilted her head playfully at her friend. "You're dumb...but that makes two of us, right?"

"Goodbye 2YoungGirls, hello 2DumbGirls," Hwasa joked, eliciting a loud laugh from Wheein which instantly lifted the atmosphere in the room.

"I told Yongsun unnie," Wheein said after a while, her face screwed up in uncertainty as she anticipated her best friend's reaction to the news that she'd told someone else first. Hwasa looked at her curiously.

"You told her about Nayeon?"

Wheein bit her lip, the nerves from before beginning to rise again. "She already knew," Wheein said, making Hwasa looking at her even more confused.

"When?"

Wheein sighed, putting the toilet seat lid down and sitting on it. "When she kissed me. At her party," Wheein said, not missing the shocked sound from Hwasa's mouth or the wideness of her eyes. "I know, I know. I should have told you but she made me swear not to and you know how scary she is when she's serious and...and I didn't know what to do, and I knew if I told you that you might think differently of me and I don't think I could live with you looking at me like that," Wheein said, her words getting tangled in the tears that began to spill from her eyes. She barely finished her sentence before familiar arms engulfed her in a tight hug, and she let herself cry freely for the first time in a long time. She felt Hwasa kiss the top of her head and whisper "it's okay" over and over, which only made her more emotional.

"Wheein-ah, please stop crying," she heard Hwasa beg, her friend's own voice affected by sadness too.

"I'm trying," Wheein whined with an embarrassed laugh and soon enough they were both laughing in a way that would've had them both committed to a mental asylum if anyone else had witnessed it.

Hwasa bent down, taking her friend's face in her hands and wiping her tears away with her thumbs as she met her eyes. She tutted at the sight.

"You like Yongsun?" Hwasa asked, her voice gentle and unthreatening. Wheein's eyes scanned her friend's face for any signs of judgement, but of course she found none. "You like her like you liked Nayeon?" The small nod Wheein gave was telling enough and Hwasa nodded too. "Okay," was all she said. They were quiet for a moment, and Wheein could tell Hwasa was thinking hard by the way her tongue poked out of the corner of slightly, a habit she had about all too often.

Hwasa eventually gave Wheein a small, reassuring smile and took her hands, leading her out of the bathroom and to her bedroom. She pulled back the covers on her bed and gestured for Wheein to crawl under them, before running back to the bathroom and returning with another full glass of water, placing it on the bedside table next to Wheein. She got under the covers too, moving closer to her friend, her nose buried in the back of her neck and her arms and legs wrapped around her securely. Wheein sighed in a way that sounded like relief, interlocking Hwasa's fingers with her own and leaning back into her.

"I'm going to fix everything, okay?" Hwasa whispered determinedly, proud when she felt the tension almost melt away from Wheein's body with her promise. And sure, she had a lot of work to do, a lot of people to talk to (including one leader unnie who she would be having many difficult conversations with), but she would be damned if she didn't try to fix everything she could for the girl in her arms.