Cigulomania (n.) A strong desire to hold someone in your arms. 

I ran. The tall field of lavender grass brushed passed my legs as I ran as fast as I could toward that weeping cherry tree. I followed the red string that was attached to my pinky like I always did when this dream happened. I could soon see the outline of his figure. I knew it was him. I didn't have to see his face. I didn't have to see the glowing red strings that attached to both of our little fingers. I just knew. My heart told me so. As I got closer to him the string got smaller and smaller and soon I stood directly in front of him. 

I couldn't tell you exactly when I started having this dream because the answer is for as long I can remember. I had been having the same dream, a few times a month, for my entire life. 

As I reached my hands up to cup his soft, round face he would smile at me. He small eyes turned into crescent moons as his cheeks rose and showed me his teeth with his smile. He was without a doubt the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. He was always the same age as me. When I grew, so did he. But he always had the same black hair, and the same rich brown eyes. 

"Hi Hoonie~" He would say to me happily.

I would smile as I felt my heart skip a beat with his voice and each syllable that left his lips, "Hi Soonie~" I would say back to him.

He laces his fingers between mine and we would sit beneath that weeping cherry tree. Where it was always a warm, spring afternoon. Where we sat safe behind the walls of pink blossoms as the soft breeze tickled our cheeks. I could never remember what we would talk about. I couldn't tell you if it was always the same conversation, always a different conversation, or if we even had a conversation at all. I always remember at the end of my dreams I would move over to sit directly next him. I would always lay my head on his shoulder, and he would always kiss my head. 

"I love you, Soonyoung." I say calmly to him. 

He looks down at me with all the adoration in the world in his eyes, "I love you too, Jihoon."

He would rest his head on top of mine and I would feel a wave of peaceful bliss. Like the rest of the world didn't exist and all that mattered was protected by the flowers of the cheery tree. 

I woke up. I look around my room disappointed at my surroundings I look next to me. No dream boy. I sighed and look at my phone. 7:03.