Attached 

By Eiryia

Seungyoon walked down the same carpeted hallway as he had walked down so many times before in the past year. The screaming pattern on the carpet clashing horribly with the vertical wallpaper, it had never bothered him before, but tonight everything got on his nerves. 

Why? Because he was nervous. Anxious and probably about to act just a tiny bit obnoxious.

Stopping in front of hotel room number 404 he sighed. 404, a room which had become their favorite because it was high enough to give the room a view, but low enough for the hotel to dare put in a balcony door. You jump, you live. Maybe? 

How many times had they not been sitting in front of that balcony door, enjoying the sea breeze in the evening before they went for another round in the bed. Or just on the floor, truth be told they had probably done it just as much on the rug or other pieces of furniture of that room. 

It all ended today though, it ended today. He would make sure of that.

Unlocking the hotel room door he heard the usual buzz as he put the card key in the holder triggering the electricity. Usually he would have gone straight into the shower or maybe laid down for a quick nap, but not tonight. 

Looking at his watch he knew Mino weren’t far away. He would have let him know if he was running late, he always did and he was always late, but not tonight. 

Sitting down in one of the chairs by the window he stared out onto the river. He would miss this view, this room even, but most of all would he miss Mino. 

A few minutes later and he heard the familiar sound of the door unlocking. 

Turning his head in reflex to the sound he watched as Mino took of his suit jacket, loosened his tie and flopped of his perfectly polished black leather shoes. Oh how he would miss this sight, Mino was too perfect. It shouldn’t be legal to be that good looking, to have that much charisma and yet be so lovable. 

    "Let me just take a shower" Mino said already a hand on the bathroom door. 

    "No need" he responded gesturing at the chair opposite him. 

A small frown appeared on Mino’s face then, but he started walking towards him all the same. 

    "Have it your way" Mino mumbled, taking of his tie completely, throwing it onto the bed. 

Distracted by the many uses they had found for Mino’s ties he was too late to stop Mino from sitting down across his lap, straddling him between his legs. 

    "We need to talk" he began, but Mino’s lips found his before he could say another word. 

    "Later" Mino hummed between kisses, already sneaking his tongue in between his teeth deepening the kiss gradually while letting his hands wander like they so often did. 

    "No, now" he replied trying to sound stern. 

Surprised by his unusual tone of voice Mino pulled away. In the year long affair between them could Seungyoon probably count on one hand the times Mino had given him the exact look he was giving him now. Cautious, worried, questioning with just a hint of frustration. 

    "Then talk" Mino said, stepping down from his lap, backing away until he was sitting in the chair opposite him. 

    "We said a year" he began having practiced this speech many times in his head. He watched as Mino’s knuckles whitened as he grabbed the armrest of the chair he was now sitting in. 

Next week would mark the end of their little agreement. The anniversary of the first time they had met and also the first time they had slept together. 

It had been one of the many company Christmas parties at this exact hotel. They had connected immediately and after hours of enduring casual conversation with colleagues had they snuck away. 

The rest was history. 

They had kept meeting like this, in this hotel or others when that was more convenient. Both of them had a past with painful breakups and both of them were too busy with work to bother with anything serious. 

That was until today. 

Today marked.

The end.

Seungyoon swallowed hard and looked over at Mino. He knew very well that it didn’t have to end that day, but he was growing tired of the no strings attached ordeal they got going on with only sleeping together because it was convenient.

The thing was that Mino had become so much more for him over the course of this year, but Mino had made it very clear from the beginning he wanted no relationship and so it would be better to just end it. 

End it before it got even worse and he would be the one left with nothingness and a broken heart. 

    "A year to keep each other company" he continued. 

Mino nodded. 

    "And you have been the best company" he said trying to sound calm even though his insides were literally shaking from raw emotion. 

Mino was smiling, acknowledging that yes, yes indeed were he the best company. Especially in bed. 

    "What we have here is to me the most perfect part of my life, which is why I’m so sad to say it ends today" 

There. He said it. 

Watching Mino’s smile fade he waited for his response. It took Mino a couple of minutes to conjure up a response: 

    "If it’s perfect, why end it?" he asked. 

    "Because this vibrant bubble we exist in makes the rest of my life seem so dull and grey. I can’t go on living only looking forward to our meeting every other week. I need to bring color back to my life full time" he explained realizing how dramatic and somewhat sickening it sounded as he spoke. 

    "What if your life remains colorless?" Mino asked arching one questioning eyebrow at him. 

    "I’ll keep looking until I find it" he replied although this part was the hard part. He knew perfectly well that Mino was the rainbow in his life that brought color to everything. 

Going out into the world to find another rainbow felt impossible. 

    "You haven’t found anyone then" Mino said, looking down into his limp hands resting palms up in his lap. 

This was his moment. He could confess his feelings in this moment, what did he have to lose anyway? This was the end of them as they were now anyway, but hell it was scary. 

The silence hung between them so heavy it was as if all oxygen had been from the room leaving them in a suffocating limbo. 

    "You got someone else?" Mino asked again, leaning slightly forward in his chair as he spoke. 

    "I already have someone" he finally said. 

Mino shook his head in disbelief. He understood right away that Mino had misunderstood him. 

    "I have you and I don’t want anyone else, but thats the problem right?" he blurted out, needing to clarify things before Mino began working himself up over something that only existed in his head.

The way Mino looked at him, putting the pieces together slowly while mouthing the word problem silently. 

    "It’s a problem because you said not to get attached, but I did and so I’m removing myself from the situation before I really end up heartbroken" he finally confessed. 

This was so far from his original well planned speech as he possibly could get. 

In his speech would he end it and leave. 

He would move on and find someone who wanted to be in a committed relationship, because really there had never been any indication that Mino ever wanted that. 

A committed relationship. 

He always talked about how convenient this was. To just meet after work, let out some steam, maybe share a meal, sleep and then back to work. No dates, no presents, no family visits, no introductions, no nothing. 

Seungyoon wanted everything, he knew that now, but he also knew he would never get it from Mino. 

    "Heartbroken" Mino said the word as if he was spitting it out after having been chewing on it for way too long. "What would make you heartbroken about this?" he asked. 

    "This" he said pointing back and forth between them. "Us, when there really is no us. That’s whats heartbreaking" he explained trying to sound calm and to be patient with Mino. 

    "It’s heartbreaking because" he stopped, Mino straightened up in his chair, crossed his arms and gave him a look daring him to keep speaking. 

    "Because I love you" 

Well, so much for having a plan for their break up. 

Here he was confessing instead, but it weren’t really a bad thing. Now he could move on knowing the truth was out and that he had been rejected head on. 

    "You love me?" Mino asked his voice full of disbelief. A voice sounding much deeper than usual as if he was forcing the words out from some unknown depth long buried inside him. 

    "I know you said no feelings" he began apologizing. He felt bad for dropping all of this on Mino all of a sudden, especially as he watched his expression full of doubt and disbelief. 

That was the sadest thing about all this. Because for some reason had Mino been walking around for years thinking he was unlovable. 

At first he had refused to speak about it, but little by little had Seungyoon managed to lure the truth out of him. All of Mino's previous partners had been the ones who ended their relationship, and the last one had been exceptionally gruesome as the woman had fled the country with some foreigner saying he had made her lose faith in men of this country. 

Mino had joked saying maybe that was the moment he had turned gay.  

    "We said no feelings" Mino corrected with heavy emphasis on the "We" and it was the truth. 

They had bo