again

After a long, way too detailed plan that Yeojin had prefaced as her “best one yet”, Yeojin finally stopped her ranting and turned to Yerim. “So? What do you think?” she asked, her enthusiastic grin still plastered on her face. “You in?”

Yerim could do nothing but stand there, bewildered. The things that go on in Yeojin’s mind never fail to amaze her.

“Yeojin. In the many years I’ve known you, you’ve had maybe thousands of plans. And I’ve always gone through with them,” Yerim said with a soft sigh, her fondness for the younger girl evident in it. “Yet, somehow, this is the dumbest one yet.”

Yeojin stared at her expectantly, eyebrow quirked and hand out in invitation. Yerim, as always, took her hand with a smile.

“Of course, I’m in!”

“Alrighty then,” Yeojin started, in a voice somehow louder and more energetic than usual.

Yeojin’s grin was wide and eyes were bright, her excitement so clear that she was practically buzzing. Yerim was a little excited too, underneath her never-wavering nervousness. No matter how many of Yeojin’s schemes she was an accomplice of, her worry that they’d get into trouble never faltered. Of course, that only made the moments after they had gotten away with whatever dumb thing Yeojin wanted them to do all the more exhilarating.

“Hand me your ring,” Yeojin said.

Yerim was halfway through doing what Yeojin said, thumb and forefinger already pulling at the silver band on her ring finger, until she hesitated, thinking about Yeojin’s words. “Please.”

“What?” Yeojin asked, incredulous.

Yerim rolled her eyes. They always had this exact conversation whenever Yeojin told her to do anything, so her pretending not to know was getting old. “Say please,” Yerim stated clearly.

“Please hand it to me.” Yeojin held out her hand expectantly.

Instantly, Yerim’s mind was taken back to school dances, of late nights with quiet radio music as background noise, of a future wedding where they’ll have their first dance. It was strange, how a simple movement - just Yeojin holding out her hand like that - could summon such intense memories and hopes.

Yerim smiled after hearing those words, slipping the ring off of her finger and placing it into Yeojin’s hand. Yeojin slipped it into her pocket, smile only growing and her eyes now shining. Yerim knew that look - Yeojin was still scheming.

Though Yerim always found Yeojin’s enthusiasm for her plans cute, she couldn’t help but voice her worries now that it was becoming more real. “What happens if we get caught? If they realise that it’s fake?” Yerim didn’t actually think that anything would go wrong - Yeojin’s plans always had a way of working out in their favour, she never got caught. Well, if they didn’t count that time when Yeojin was caught spray-painting Haseul’s car. “What happens if--”

Yeojin stepped forward, grabbing hold of the older girl’s shoulders gently. Her grin was completely gone, replaced with a look Yerim could only describe as intense. Looking up and staring into Yerim’s eyes, she asked, in her most sincere and serious voice, “do you trust me?”

Yerim nodded.

“Do you trust that I’ll get us free dessert?”

Yerim nodded again.

“And maybe even get our entire meal free of charge?”

And Yerim nodded once more.

“Good.” That grin returned full-force, taking its place back on Yeojin’s face as if it had never left. “Now let’s go to the restaurant and fake a proposal!”

Yerim trusted Yeojin with her life. Yes, that probably wasn’t a good idea considering the strange and extreme things Yeojin always made her do - but she did. Wholeheartedly.

Still, it’s hard not to have second thoughts when the entire plan hinged on lying to people for free things. Sure, Yerim could handle a little white lie every now and then, but actually fooling an entire restaurant’s worth of people into believing something like this? Yerim just knew she’d say something out of pocket and make people suspect them. And ruining something Yeojin was so excited about would be terrible.

Underneath the table cloth, Yerim fidgeted with the napkin in her lap. She never was good under pressure. Worries and second thoughts flitted around in her head until she was too nervous to even speak.

Yeojin must’ve noticed her heightening nerves because she too slipped her hand under the table cloth, grabbing hold of Yerim’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Not for the first time, Yerim marvelled at how quickly Yeojin could calm her, how Yeojin’s mere presence beside her put her mind at ease.

“It’s going to be fine. I promise,” Yeojin whispered underneath her breath. “If you think about it, we’re not really lying. Hey, maybe this time, you’ll actually let me finish!” she slipped in a joke, successfully making Yerim forget about her worries.

“The fireworks were starting to go off!” Yerim argued back in a harsh whisper. “And you weren’t even on one knee. It’s not my fault I didn’t notice what you were doing and stopped you.”

Yeojin scoffed, not taking Yerim’s excuse for even one second. “I was ranting about how much you mean to me!”

“Yeah, well,” Yerim huffed, “you do that all the time. How was I supposed to know!”

The two burst into laughter the second their eyes met. Yerim squeezed Yeojin’s hand, her thumb grazing the back affectionately. Leave it to Yeojin to instantly make things better.

Yerim leaned back in her chair, her worried thoughts replaced with fond reminiscing on Yeojin’s proposal, and how much of a mess it was.

See, Yeojin’s first attempt was going terribly even before the night of the proposal.

She’d had the ring stuffed in her pocket for over a month, after weeks of searching for the right ring. She had planned only a few days of ring-browsing, but that was ruined by her useless friends.

Haseul was no use because she kept crying about how her babies were growing up. Practically the same thing happened with Jinsoul, apart from when Jinsoul made her swear on her life that she’d protect Yerim. Yeojin tried her best not to roll her eyes - because duh, of course, she’d protect Yerim - and promised, but decided against asking either to help with ring-picking. She’d be way too embarrassed if the older girls walked into a jewellery parlour with her and started sobbing over the engagement ring panels.

Vivi was a little better, but not by much. She kept suggesting rings way above what Yeojin could afford - “Doesn’t Yerim deserve the best?”, “Well yeah, but I don’t want us to be broke before the wedding!” - so she was no help either.

Yeojin even turned to Hyunjin and Hyejoo (because surely Yerim’s sisters would know what she wanted, right?) and was disappointed to find that both girls had styles nowhere close to their sisters, both of them choosing rings that Yeojin knew that Yerim would never in her right mind wear. It felt like the two of them were actually messing around with her, intentionally suggesting ridiculous rings, until Hyunjin stopped to buy one for Heejin - “you know, for the future!” - and Yeojin realised they were being serious. Yeojin felt a little bad for Heejin when Hyunjin got some dumb pun engraved on it, but didn’t say anything.

Nothing seemed to be going Yeojin’s way. Their car had broken down yet again and she’d have to spend some of the money she had saved up for the ring on getting it repaired. And since their car couldn’t be driven, Yeojin was stuck walking to work every day, making her already exhausted by the time she got to her office.

Yeojin resented it, cursed herself for buying such a cheap and ty car, until she realised it might have been fate. Because of her daily walk to work, Yeojin found it. She wasn’t even looking anymore, half-given up the idea on a perfect ring after Hyunjin suggested just getting Yerim a pair of earrings. But there it was, staring at her from across the street.

Yeojin ran towards it, dodging oncoming traffic. After pulling open the door, she pointed to it and yelled out “That one! How much is that one?”

“I’ll take it!”

The day Yeojin had first planned on proposing had come and gone before ring selection was even over. Now, she was laying on the couch, playing with the small velvet box which held the ring, wondering when the next perfect time would be. She didn’t have a clue! Until her eyes connected with the calendar Yerim had placed on their wall, and she saw how next weekend was drawn and written all over in Yerim’s glittery pens.

“The circus is in town?” Yeojin muttered to herself, reading Yerim’s colourful writing. I haven’t been to the circus in years! , Yeojin thought, what was it… our fourth date?

Yeojin smiled to herself remembering that night. She had so proudly proclaimed that she’d win Yerim two hundred stuffed animals in total - at least ten from each stall - but had failed at pretty much every game. Distraught, Yeojin had sulked all night long until Yerim had won her one from the strength game. Yerim was surprisingly strong, even the stall owner - who must’ve watched hundreds of people play before - was startled to see how high her score was.

It would be nice to relive that day, even with all its failures. The circus was bright and exciting, loud and fun. All the best parts of both of them put together. Hopefully, that’d be what their marriage would be like too - just a collection of everything good the two of them had to offer.

Perfect, Yeojin thought, marking the day in her head. I’ll do it then!

It was perfect. By then, the car had come back from the workshop, allowing Yeojin to pick Yerim up directly from work and drive them there. And when they got to the circus, festivities were in full swing, with everywhere you looked being lit up with a thousand different lights, kids running around with cotton candy smeared across their mouths, couples walking around holding hands.

Everything looked spectacular when it was illuminated with those coloured lights. Even the tacky games and slightly worn-down stalls were breathtaking. But Yeojin couldn’t help but think that the most beautiful sight of all was the girl beside her. Yerim’s eyes seemed to sparkle with almost-childlike wonder as she took in everything they could see and do.

Yeojin held out her hand, excitement and nerves bubbling up in her stomach. The velvet box in her pocket felt like lead, its presence demanding to be felt. A constant reminder that they weren’t just here for fun and games. Still, Yeojin pushed that thought to the back of her mind.

“Where to first?” Yeojin asked, though by the way Yerim was eyeing the strength test she had won years ago, she had a hunch.

Clutching the stuffed tiger Yerim had won for her in one hand, Yeojin palmed the box in her pocket. Things were starting to die down after hours of having fun, playing each and every game and trying most of the greasy foods they offered. Now, Yeojin thought, before you have the chance to screw things up!

“Yerim,” Yeojin started, taking in a nerve-filled breath. She closed her eyes and ran through the speech she’d been wanting to say for so long. “Ever since the first time I saw you I knew you’d be important to me. And every day since, I’ve constantly been proven right because you’re the most important person in my life. Will you marry--” Yeojin opened her eyes, shocked to see that Yerim wasn’t even looking at her, wasn’t paying attention at all.

“Yeojin, look!” Yerim said, pointing over to where a few sparks were being lit. “They’re setting off fireworks over there? Ooh, if we go over we can have a better view!”

“But I--”

“Come on!”

Yeojin normally loved fireworks. She loved the idea of such a small thing, with a single spark, wreaking chaos and burning colours across the sky, making everyone around them stop for a second to marvel at its beauty. She loved how loudly they sounded, as if desperate for an audience to hear them, to see it in all its glory, no matter how short-lived that glory always was.

Now, with the fireworks ruining her oh-so-perfect plan, she loved them less. A lot less.

In the corner of her eye, she watched how Yerim’s smile grew with every new burst of colour. She watched the girl she loved filling with joy, and decided that she loved fireworks again anyway.

As Yerim’s attention was elsewhere, Yeojin sneakily plucked the ring from the box and slipped it onto her ring finger. Feeling the new weight on her hand, Yerim looked down.

“What is this?”

“It’s yours,” Yeojin stated simply.

Yerim held her hand away from her, looking at it from afar, marvelling at how the diamond glittered all different colours underneath the fireworks.

“This is a really pretty ring, Yeojinnie.”

“Thanks, I know. I bought it,” Yeojin replied. She tucked a strand of Yerim’s hair behind her ear, uncharacteristically soft. “When I saw it, I knew it was the perfect one to propose to you with.”

“Propose?!” Yerim shouted in question, jerking away.

She just stared at Yeojin, mouth agape, as if she couldn’t even begin to process the words that came out of . Momentarily, Yeojin’s scared less. What if this was a bad idea?, she thinks, what if we’re not ready or-- or, oh God, what if she doesn’t want to marry me?

But that didn’t make any sense. They’d been talking about their future wedding for what felt like years now, turning from joking teases into actually semi-concrete plans about the when and where. Relieved from her dread, Yeojin waited for her maybe-girlfriend/maybe-fiancee’s reaction.

When Yerim stayed like that - frozen in shock - Yeojin was halfway between either facepalming or groaning (because seriously, how could Yerim just not pick up on any of the context clues and just full-on not know that she was just being proposed to). But when Yerim pulled out a small velvet box from the inside of her own coat, Yeojin stopped herself from doing either.

“What is that?” she asked, although she already had a clue, having carried around one of her own for months.

Still, when Yerim opened it Yeojin was shocked to see the most beautiful diamond ring she’d ever seen. “I was supposed to propose to you !” Yerim almost shouted.

“Oh,” Yeojin let out, “.”

Yeojin plucked out the ring, putting it on. It was so beautiful, and the girl that bought it for her - her fiancee - was so beautiful that Yeojin was close to tears.

“Two engagement rings…” Yeojin laughed. “We really are broke now, huh.”

As it turns out, weddings were more expensive than either of them had been expecting. Which led to the hatching of Yeojin’s foolproof plan of getting them a free dinner at a fancy restaurant - celebrating the two of them without having to waste their cash. Leading to now, sitting underneath a chandelier at one of the most expensive restaurants in the city.

Second proposal. A free meal - and hopefully a free dessert too. Maybe some champagne, considering how fancy the restaurant Yeojin chose was.

“Everything is going to be fine,” Yeojin reassured again. She turned slightly. “Now act surprised, our waiter is coming.”

Yeojin stood up from her chair, a tender look in her eyes as she grabbed the ring box from her jacket pocket. Yerim gasped, trying her best to look appropriately shocked when Yeojin dropped down onto one knee in front of her.

The gasp was a little too loud, the way Yerim’s hands clasped over a little too dramatic, but it must’ve had the intended effect because the couple at the table next to them gasped too. The lady that’d been playing the piano for ‘mood music’ as Yeojin called it, clasped her hands against her chest, looking at them adoringly. The waiter faltered in his path to their table, giving them some space.

“Choi Yerim,” Yeojin started, her hands and voice wavering ever so slightly. Yerim knew that Yeojin was a spectacular actor - having seen her talk and lie her way out of the worst situations. Still, it was amazing how well Yeojin could gather up her emotions on the spot like this. “You’re kind of my favourite person, like, the only one that actually matters,” she continued, “and every single day with you is an exciting adventure I never want to end.”

Yerim didn’t expect to cry. But then again, she’d always been especially vulnerable towards Yeojin, and who could resist a heartfelt speech like that? Even though this was a fake second proposal to ease up on their food costs, Yerim knew that she meant every last word. So yeah, she was tearing up a little.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long I’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be,” Yeojin said, voice steady, even as it looks as if she’s struggling to swallow. “You’re the one person I can always count on and talk to, my best friend, my soulmate. Wanna add wife to the list?”

Yerim knew that she should probably start bawling, say something cliche like “yes, a thousand times, yes!” but honestly she couldn’t do much more than take in a shaky breath and nod. It felt so real, having way too much emotional weight than anything fake should be allowed to. Like it replaced their messy first attempt into this picturesque one.

The second Yeojin got up, the restaurant patrons erupt into a polite amount of applause, awwing when Yerim pulled Yeojin into a tight hug, tucking the younger girl underneath her chin and settling a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you,” she whispered, content to hold onto Yeojin for a few short moments before letting go, lips quirking up into a smile as Yeojin returned her beloved ring to its rightful place.

The two graciously accept numerous congratulations from the people surrounding them, especially from the waiter who set their food down with a wink and an “on the house. A congratulations gift from everyone here”. Yeojin’s surprised yet appreciative face made Yerim giggle a little, but she hid it behind her hand, pretending to still be choked up from the emotional scene.

It seemed as though Yeojin was also affected because Yerim caught her slyly swiping her left eye. It was confusing - why would Yeojin be so affected by her own plan? - until realisation settled.

“This wasn’t just for a free dinner,” Yerim stated.

Yeojin shrugged. “You caught me,” she said. “Last time was a disaster. I wanted you to remember a good one.”

Yerim wanted to tell her that she’d remember any proposal from Yeojin as a good one. Yerim wanted to tell her she remembered basically everything they’d done together as good. But when Yeojin looked up at her with that soft smile she’d reserved only for Yerim to see, Yerim thought that she already knew.

So instead of stating the obvious, Yerim leaned in and whispered. “By the way, next time? I’m proposing to you.”

"Not if I beat you to it again!"