Bring Me a Higher Love

Bring Me a Higher Love

 

 

 

Seungwan moves to dust her very black dress free of the little droplets of water that dripped from her goblet. Her mother will not like that. No, she definitely will not.

 

She breathes in deep and holds it a few more minutes as she looks from her father to her mother who sat across the table from her, chatting with her future parents in-law. She releases a breath ever so slowly, thinking that she was still trying to get used to the idea of being engaged to someone she barely knew.

 

This was the Kang family’s event—a lavish dinner party for all of their national and international business partners including her own parents.

 

Stephen Kang seemed like a nice fellow. He apologizes and bows very low to both her parents for being late. He kisses both his parents, and offers them an apologetic smile. As he walks over to Seungwan, he first holds out his hand to take hers. 

 

Seungwan could feel the weight of her own mother’s gaze so she immediately understood what she needed to do. Not sparing a second after he lifts his hand, she offers hers, and like the little prince that he was probably trained to be, he kisses her hand.

 

“And hello to my lovely wife-to-be,” he says as he settles on the chair beside her.

 

“She is very lovely, isn’t she?” the matriarch of the Kang family always sounded less than impressed, so this was probably a compliment. A second later, she does frown rather obviously. “Stephen where is your sister?”

 

Stephen held back a cringe with a smile he obviously was hoping his mother would buy instead of the growing disappointment slowly showing on her features.

 

“I believe she is already here, mother.”

 

Seungwan was slightly curious over the fact that during the handful of times she and her parents had small dinners and conversations with the Kang parents, they had never mentioned another heir apart from Stephen.

 

Mrs. Kang scoffs. “Sophie will never learn to lay her manners where they are needed.”

 

She waves a hand effectively drops her rising mood, however. “Do forgive my daughter. She can be a little difficult sometimes.”

 

The Sons accept the apology over wine, though Seungwan thinks her parents didn’t really care enough for the suddenly known second Kang child.

 

“I believe Wendy is currently taking Business Administration,” the Kang patriarch asks as he cuts his barely touched steak, “are there other things you take interest in?”

 

Seungwan does not miss how the Kangs prefer to call her Wendy when her parents have introduced her as Seungwan at least a month before. Then again, they did prefer to call their children with their English names. Stephen and Sophie.

 

“Our Wendy is a woman of many talents,” her mother claims, not minding to hide her grin behind her raised goblet. “Since childhood she has been taking music lessons. Her vocal coach adores her, and she does really well in her ballet classes.”

 

“Ballet is a wonderful choice, honey,” Mrs. Kang agrees with a smile (that was maybe a little bigger now).

 

“That’s really great! My sister also loves dancing, too.” Seungwan could not deny the glint in Stephen’s eyes as he mentions this.

 

Another scoff from the Mrs. Kang. “Stephen, stop encouraging your sister’s rabid choices.”

 

Stephen nods, but nonetheless smiles somewhat apologetically at Seungwan, and whispers, “she is a really great dancer, too. Mom does not like hip-hop though.”

 

Somewhere in the night, Seungwan almost feels sorry for Stephen’s sister that she had yet to meet, but somehow, deep in her gut, she felt a little envious of how she could easily imagine Sophie as a free spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the night grew deeper and the party bustled more with life, Stephen excused himself and Seungwan to mingle with the growing crowd and introduce his fiancée to his friends. Seungwan was sure their parents were very delighted with this, judging by how Mrs. Kang showed an actual smile this time.

 

Sometime into the night, Stephen was too caught up with his conversations with potential partners that Seungwan managed to slip out of his circles and into the busy crowd that she was sure would pay her no mind. She considered stopping at the bar but at least ninety-eight percent of the fibers in her being told her that won’t be a good idea—not with a future mother-in-law like Mrs. Kang. One photograph and the engagement will be in jeopardy. Her parents would hate that.

 

So she decided she’d walk around aimlessly instead. Yes, that would be better for everyone (except for her).

 

She did end up sitting by one of the tall little stools with ridiculously small but tall circular tables that could pass off as higher stools. She decided to preoccupy herself with the casual dancers on the dance floor. 

 

Seungwan’s feet started to tap to the beat of a song she was sure she’s heard in different colors before. 

 

The beat was picking up, catchier and more familiar by the minute, making the lone sitting girl smile in recognition.

 

It was that Whitney Houston song reimagined as an electronic dance tune. She liked it. Sure, she was a classically trained performer, but she has always found charm in any type of music. For her, it augmented the learning process.

 

It was calming to be in a crowd where no one paid no heed to her every move, watching people casually move to the music. She bobbed her head a little. 

 

Seungwan had begun singing to the tune when it broke to one of those trademark dance song buildups. Whitney Houston sounded good even in pieced up vocals, but Seungwan could barely notice how creatively the song was mixed because her attention was reeled in by a girl who danced like she didn’t belong to this crowd.

 

Is she doing the chicken dance?

 

In a snobbish crowd like this?

 

In a dress like that?

 

On heels?

 

Okay. Respect.

 

Apart from the ridiculous way she moved, she dressed like she did belong to this crowd. Her white cocktail dress hugged her figure in all the right places, and her heels should have broke with the way she kicked and flailed around if it weren’t probably more expensive than her glittering earrings.

 

Seungwan was already laughing lightly with the little crowd of people jamming with the lively girl when said girl somehow caught her eye in that sea of people. She could see her squinting at her, halting her mess of a dance. She her head to the side, and the other girl follows.

 

Seungwan looks around her, making sure she indeed was the object of this mischievous girl’s spotlight. Her gaze returns to Miss Mischief’s suddenly smiling ones, and the way they curve into happy little crescents—familiar.

 

She is pointing at her now—no, beckoning at Seungwan with a come-hither finger.

 

Seungwan mouths a no and vigorously shakes her head and hands in hopes of authoritative dismissal, but it would seem the mischief is strong in the girl clad in white.

 

She was now flapping her arms like a chicken at Seungwan, and with the way was moving, she was probably making clucking sounds.

 

Oh, she did not.

 

Seungwan’s eyes dangerously shrink into slits she hoped dug right into little miss mischief’s soul, and perhaps it did, only it got her the wrong reaction for the other girl was guffawing even as Seungwan cut her way through the crowd on the dance floor and barely a meter from this living enigma of a girl.

 

“So you’re not chicken after all.”

 

Her voice was deep and soothing. Seungwan would definitely liken it with warm honey.

 

“I don’t think I can seize that crown from you, Chicken Queen,” Seungwan says with a shrug. She was trying to hold back a smile.

 

That was new.

 

The whole night was about forcing out a smile.

 

She notices how much taller Chicken Queen was even as she was all but bent in her laughter.

 

“Chicken Queen! I like that one!” As her laughter died down, she held out her hand to Seungwan. 

 

And it felt almost ridiculous and cliché how the music decided to build up again, Whitney Houston ready to take them both somewhere again.

 

But Seungwan was no longer holding that smile back. She was fully smiling, mirroring the other girl’s blinding one.

 

And just as the music broke into that catchy drop, she had taken the stranger’s hand and spent the night dancing, being spun around, laughing and twirling freely to the song with the title she suddenly remembered.

 

She was still smiling long after having to rush her goodbyes to the stranger she just had the night of her life with. Her mother was calling, feeling her smart watch nag her wrist and flashing her mother’s angry red caller ID.

 

It was a shame she wasn’t able to get Chicken Queen’s name. She could have at least thanked her for saving her otherwise cold night.

 

Even as the Son limo rode back to their estate, Seungwan was humming the last song in her head.

 

“Higher Love?” Her mother asks with a knowing smile. She was probably attributing Seungwan’s mood to Stephen.

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you had a good night.”

 

Oh, definitely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Wow. Where did you get all the sudden confidence, Seungwan.” Sooyoung, Seungwan’s best friend, says as she heaved in breaths and wiped her face and neck.

 

Ballet and its own mountain of stressful perfectionism has always been a weird escape for both women. Being an heiress to their own family companies had its own suffocating troubles.

 

“Ugh, you don’t know how much I suddenly appreciate hearing my Korean name.” Seungwan groans as she pulls out of a toe-reach stretch.

 

“What’s up?” Sooyoung hands a bottle of water to her equally heaving best friend.

 

“Stephen’s family hasn’t been calling me anything other than Wendy.”

 

Sooyoung purses her lips in thought. “I call you Wendy sometimes.”

 

“It’s different.” Seungwan attempts to shrug it off—literally.

 

Sooyoung doesn’t probe the argument.

 

“So how are you and Mr. Fianceé?”

 

“He’s been really nice.” Sooyoung raises a brow, prodding her to give more details. “We’re still trying to get to know each other.”

 

“Stephen. Nice. Noted.” Sooyoung gives her shorter friend a mock salute.

 

Seungwan really hoped there was more to say, but right now there just wasn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their dance company were welcoming another troupe today and apparently from just down the street. The girls honestly wondered because they really weren’t aware of another company specializing in ballet in the same street.

 

“It’s for an exploration project,” Irene, their company head, clarifies.

 

“Exploration?” Chaeyoung, who sat on the floor between Seungwan and Sooyoung, purrs and Seungwan nudges her with an elbow.

 

Exploration? Huh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The company they were welcoming was a ‘crew’—one of the country’s best at that. 

 

Seungwan was fresh out of a major’s class and had come rushing. She did send a message to both Sooyoung and Chaeyoung about her hectic schedule. The two responded with pictures however—pictures of their group in what would seem to be a workshop with the visiting crew. 

 

To say her friends appeared ‘excited’ in the said photos was probably an understatement.

 

Seungwan made her greetings and bowed repeatedly as she made her way from the door to the back of the busy crowd where Irene appeared to be speaking with one of the crew members.

 

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Irene says as she waves Seungwan over. “This is Lisa. She owns the crew down the street. They will be helping us with a few weeks of sessions. We need a little foreign touch to this year’s recital—opening up, freedom in movement.”

 

“Hello.” Seungwan bows at Lisa who bows the same.

 

“Irene tells me you are quite gifted in your craft. So, I partnered you with Seulgi. She’s one of my best. I hope you two get along well.” Lisa claps twice, disrupting the mild commotion for a second. She then waves someone over from the crowd, who then makes a light jog toward the trio.

 

Clad in a black shirt, navy blue joggers, and face hidden under the shade of a baseball cap, the said someone closes the distance between her and Seungwan, gradually revealing her face—

 

And to Seungwan’s surprise, it was—

 

Seungwan mouths an ‘omo’, which the other girl mirrors. 

 

“Chicken Girl?”

 

Chicken Girl, who was apparently named Seulgi, nods (approvingly) and gives her the familiar blinding, mischievous smile. She offers her hand, and Seungwan can’t help but think and feel how familiar this all seemed, how familiar it all felt, and for the second time, she takes the outstretched hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It turns out Chicken Girl could do so much more than just the chicken dance. In the middle of showing the awestruck girl how a certain type of move was done, Sooyoung had to swing by their end of the floor to ‘manually’ shut Seungwan’s slackened jaw.

 

‘Flies,’ Sooyoung nonchalantly says and disappears into the crowd with a dramatic swerve.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So—Chicken Girl,” Seungwan was in the middle of stretching her arms upward the farthest she could with Seulgi keeping her steady from behind, hands gently planted on both ends of her hips. She hears Seulgi chuckle. 

 

“It’s Seulgi,” Seulgi emphasizes amid a snicker.

 

“Right—Seulgi?” Seungwan’s toes were on their tips now—not a very difficult thing to do.

 

“Yes. Kang Seulgi, and you?”

 

Huh. Another Kang enters her life. threatens to constrict at entertaining the thought that she might be related with Stephen Kang and family. But just how many Kangs were in Korea, right?

 

“Seungwan,” she makes it a point to use her Korean name. She likes Wendy, but she wasn’t about to give another Kang every opportunity to call her Wendy. “Son Seungwan.”

 

“Okay, Seungwan. I’m going to lift you up and you will do just that, alright?” Seungwan feels Seulgi’s suddenly firmer hold, and now her breath was on her nape. She gulps down another bobbing nerve making its way up . She doesn’t know why she needed to do it, but she plucks Seulgi’s fingers from her waist and bows in apology.

 

“Can you give me a sec?” She backs away probably a little too quickly. It visibly puzzles Seulgi.

 

Excuse. She needed an excuse.

 

“Let me just—“ She decides to claim she needed to fix her hair tie. She releases her hair and shakes it free from tangles, allowing the strands to cascade past her shoulders, “—fix this.”

 

Seulgi nods and flicks two of her fingers on a casual salute.

 

Seungwan breathes in deep. She wanted to decide soon if things were getting interesting or just plain stressful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following session was spent with less contact to Seungwan’s relief. Seulgi was such a professional, and not to mention very respectful and gentle. Any time she had to touch Seungwan (even with just a graze of her elbow), she would subtly ask permission.

 

The other girl was wearing a yellow hoodie albeit without the cap this time, giving Seungwan a better view of her features, and the shorter of the duo decided that the dancing lights and the cap did nothing but obstruct the rather refreshing view.

 

Around Seulgi, Seungwan didn’t mind using the same excuse to take a breather from the rather unnecessary discomfort she would occasionally feel with proximity. She would always say she needed to fix her hair, even when this time she bound it with a scrunchie. 

 

Seulgi was now chuckling at her third attempt to cover up the weight (of the tension she was always desperate to break) by again tinkering with her (pesky) hair and scrunchie.

 

Seungwan throws her a look—the kind that forces Seulgi to purse her lips together (eyes all but even sparklier with mischief).

 

The taller girl raises her hands in mock surrender which Seungwan rolls her eyes at (without genuine annoyance if the budding smile she had on her lips was any sign at all).

 

“Stop it.” Seungwan gets back in position.

 

“Stop what?” Seulgi’s voice wasn’t any louder (than any of the times she had to talk to Seungwan) as she takes her place behind the shorter girl, hands resting on her waist once more.

 

“The teasing,” Seungwan says, sounding softer now.

 

“Am I teasing?” Seulgi all but whispers, breath brushing the shell of her ear.

 

Seungwan heaves in a breath.

 

“Right now you are.” 

 

Seulgi sniggers. 

 

“Ever thought of cutting your hair short?” came her more decent response a second later as they start moving to their designated choreography.

 

“My mother prefers it like this.”

 

“I see,” Seulgi says softly, air of mischief all but dropped.

 

They don’t talk for the rest of the session, and it almost bothers the shorter of the duo. 

 

As the rehearsals ended, Son Seungwan lets her hair loose in front of the studio mirrors. She dabs her face with a towel but her eyes were still on her hair, and on the same mirror, amid the crowd bustling out of the studio, she sees Seulgi looking at her.

 

She offers a smile and a nod which Seulgi offers a smile without a trace of any sort of her usually mischievous demeanor, and walks tentatively towards her.

 

“Let me guess,” she starts. “You have a driver, and you’re waiting for him.”

 

Seungwan shrugs. “Yes and no.”

 

Seulgi’s smile grew bigger and (to Seungwan’s relief) more ‘Seulgi’. “Ah, but of course. You’re the kind of rich that overpays about fifty drivers.”

 

“A little exaggerated,” Seungwan decides to play along, “but yes, my dad likes paying my driver what he deserves. He’s been driving me since I was a kid.”

 

Seulgi smiles warmly this time. For a second, she looked like she was able to relate.

 

“How’d you know I come from wealth?” Seungwan says as she begins to pack her things.

 

Seulgi raises her hand and makes air quotes. “‘My mother prefers it like this.’”

 

Seungwan nods in understanding. “I’m guessing we’re on the same ship then.”

 

Seulgi shrugs, and as Seungwan zips her bag close, they walk out into and in the hall together. “I kind of jump ship every now and then. You’ll be surprised how much my mother loves me for that.”

 

Seungwan laughs openly. She could literally feel the sarcasm seething out of Seulgi’s cringe. 

 

“I wish I could do that though.”

 

They make it out of the building and into the curb where Seungwan’s driver diligently waited.

 

Seulgi opens the car door for her companion, and just as the shorter girl was about to say goodbye, Seulgi keeps the door slightly ajar and says something that was bound to make Seungwan reflect just like she did the night they first met.

 

“You know—“ she starts, “—you can, and you could.”

 

Seungwan was a smart girl. She knew what Seulgi was referring to. She didn’t agree with her though. Her life was more complicated than that. She offers her smile however, and bids her goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Short?”

 

That was probably the loudest her personal stylist’s voice had gotten since that one time when she was six and gum was on her hair.

 

Kibum didn’t sound loud enough to seem scandalized. He was just surprised.

 

“How short?” he asks.

 

“Enough.” Seungwan fidgeted a little. It was the weekend and she couldn’t focus on anything she had to do. She was bothered by her own reflection. “Let it touch my shoulders a little.”

 

“Alright. I have something in mind.” Kibum smiles. “I’m glad your mother finally would allow me to shorten this. I’ve been dying to do this since you hit puberty!”

 

Her mother wouldn’t. 

 

She doesn’t know.

 

Seungwan makes a mental note to tell her mother it was her idea. She didn’t want Kibum out of a job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh.”

 

Seungwan had an excuse ready.

 

“It’s pretty, darling,” her mother says and somehow she felt a little less bothered as the week ended. 

 

Her mother comments about how her weekend dates with Stephen have made her shine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was sure—so, very sure—that ‘somebody’s’ attention was on her. Really on her. 

 

On her periphery, she could see Seulgi, and every time she checks to see whatever the other girl was doing, she knew it wasn’t just her; she didn’t imagine it; Seulgi would often bow her head or tuck her face underneath her baseball cap like a child caught cheating in a test.

 

Seungwan smirks.

 

“Wonder where that rascal’s little smirk went,” she mutters to herself.

 

And as soon as they had to work with partners again, Seulgi already seemed to have adjusted very well with her little transformation surprise for the rascal was at it again with the teasing, and this time, her energy was beyond the roof.

 

She was in the middle of learning a little popping move when Seulgi bugs her with her own shoulders that literally crack every time she popped it. 

 

“That’s disgusting,” Seungwan finally comments with a cringe and Seulgi simply guffaws.

 

The next few hours were spent with Seulgi getting peskier as the night deepened. Seungwan really didn’t understand what made her so... hyper. 

 

Seulgi would brush her fingers under the skin of Seungwan’s ribs the soonest she finds out the other girl was actually very (very) ticklish with a few pokes here and there earlier on. She would also breathe a little behind the shell of her ear, to which she immediately flinches (and actually hits Seulgi for) come the third time she did it.

 

Seulgi again laughs very, very... energetically.

 

Then, the next and last straw happens.

 

Seulgi has now leveled up to blowing a little air on her nape (with her lips a little too close to her skin for Seungwan’s liking).

 

“That’s it!” Seungwan turns very quickly to exact her revenge only to find out that Seulgi had already sprinted a few steps back.

 

They somehow end up on a wild chase with agile Seulgi skipping past other dancers and occasionally ducking ala Indiana Jones across the dance floor and proper and polite Seungwan excusing herself and rapidly shooting apologies here and there as she tailed the taller girl.

 

But of course, Irene would take none of that .

 

“YOU TWO, STOP IT!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The two do end up getting punished. They were made to stay an extra hour, which seemed to be something Seulgi smiled even wider about.

 

To Seungwan’s relief, she wasn’t pestered any further. She sits with both her arms supporting her as she leans half her body backwards in her exhaustion.

 

“You are crazy, you know that?”

 

Seulgi (maybe) winks at her. (She wasn’t sure, considering how both her eyes closed for a second.)

 

“Why, thank you,” Seulgi puts a hand on her chest where her heart was, faking her gratitude.

 

Seungwan was again walked to the car by Seulgi that night, heart feeling lighter than ever.

 

“It suits you,” Seulgi says as she opens the door for Seungwan, smile shifting to a bashful one.

 

“The hair or getting penalized with extra hours after practice?” Seungwan plays along.

 

“Both.” Seulgi shrugs.

 

“Well, I’m not looking forward to aching feet tonight,” she jokes in response to Seulgi’s feigned nonchalance.

 

“Tonight’s the biggest I’ve seen you smile though.”

 

Seungwan’s fingers clench into a loose fist. She fought the silly urge to actually touch and check. Stupid self. Stupid reflex.

 

She bids Seulgi her good night and heads home having to hold back her smile. She really didn’t want to be bothered by her mother’s comments on how well Stephen had been treating her when all they’ve been on were formal gatherings for potential business partners he thought counted as dates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The same setup was followed the next day of rehearsals—solo training then combined, and Chaeyoung and Sooyoung did not miss the chance to mess with Seungwan.

 

“So—“ Sooyoung began and that definitely did not sound too innocent; definitely a fishing trick, “apart from Chae getting chummy with Lisa these past few days, you seem to be hitting it off with Seulgi.”

 

“Chae is getting chummy with Lisa?” Seungwan asks, a little offended she wasn’t aware of the development.

 

“We’re talking about Seulgi and you,” Chaeyoung casually says in between dance moves, not even looking at the stretching duo behind her.

 

“Yeah, feed our curiosity here,” Sooyoung adds, “besides, you wouldn’t be out of the loop if you weren’t too busy.”

 

Okay. ‘Busy’ was over emphasized.

 

“We’re friends.”

 

“Right,” Sooyoung says with a smirk.

 

“What?“ Seungwan groans.

 

Chaeyoung actually pauses what she was doing now and joins Sooyoung with a probing stare.

 

“I mean—she’s silly, but she’s funny. She can be deep. She’s nice and gentle.”

 

The ‘stare’ was still there.

 

“She’s not hard to be friends with,” Seungwan says incredulously. 

 

“Seulgi. Funny, deep, nice and gentle. Noted,” Sooyoung says, emphasizing every point by making a show of counting how many fingers she ended up holding up.

 

“So what about Chae and Lisa?” Seungwan asks in genuine curiosity.

 

And she was ignored.

 

“Alright, now, that’s just not fair.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seulgi still pesters Seungwan that entire week, and it honestly baffles the latter how the former could think of so many creative ways to every day.

 

One of her more eccentric silliness included her arriving (probably fresh out of a baseball match) with her hand engulfed by a ridiculously large foam finger, her cheeks with blue paint, and her eyes underneath her favorite blue cap. 

 

Oh, but Seungwan could see her pesky little smile from a mile away. So, yes, Seungwan’s training partner was dancing with a foam finger on.

 

They still walk together to Seungwan’s car, and on a Friday night, Seulgi doesn’t open the door for her. 

 

Seungwan thought she was teasing. She was about to say something when Seulgi beats her to it—

 

“Do you want to grab something to eat?”

 

Seungwan was probably too quick to say yes, but to her surprise, they ended up in a little corner down the street, a block away from the studio. 

 

They were eating a plate of teokbokki with a coke on the side while seated on plastic chairs and table, talking about what things Seungwan liked and despised.

 

It was—

 

All too refreshing for Seungwan.

 

“So, you have been doing ballet since you were a kid?” Seulgi says in awe.

 

“Yes. My mom wanted to professionally do it when she was younger, but she tore her ACL.”

 

“Oh, hey! Your mom and I can be torn ACL buddies! You can call us the Tear Bears.”

 

“Oh, my goodness. My mom would absolutely hate that!” Seungwan hits Seulgi’s knee as she laughed and the other girl feigns hurt.

 

As their laughter died down, Seungwan decides to burst the growing bubble of curiosity in her head. “So you also tore your ACL?”

 

Seulgi nods with a ridiculously stuffed mouth. Another silly (adorable) thing she does, Seungwan notes as she hands the other girl a napkin.

 

“Doing what?” Seungwan chuckles. “I hope it’s not anything silly.”

 

Seulgi just smiles, mouth still stuffed and all. She gives Seungwan a look of tentativeness, like she wanted to say something, but thought over the best way to say it. Her eyes moves up, then back at Seungwan.

 

Then, somewhere in the shorter girl’s head, something clicked. She gives Seulgi a pensive look. “Don’t tell me you tore it doing ballet?”

 

And when Seulgi does not answer, she knew it wasn’t something the other girl wanted to talk about. So, she opts to just reach for and take Seulgi’s hand in hers.

 

“It was a long time ago,” Seulgi soon says in between bites. “You can imagine the disappointment.”

 

“Your disappointment or...?”

 

“Or.” Seulgi laughs. She stands up and pays up, refusing Seungwan’s offer to pay on her way to the lady owning the little stand.

 

Seungwan doesn’t miss the adoring treatment of the old lady for Seulgi. They spoke as if they had known each other for years. Other than that, she also can’t help but overhear the warm granny congratulate Seulgi.

 

They talk some more on their way back to Seungwan’s car and waiting driver. On their way there, Seungwan learned that Kang Seulgi tore an ACL at a younger age trying to satisfy her mother’s wish, and ended up dancing for her friend Lisa’s dance crew who widely opened their doors to her after healing and therapy.

 

“Granny over there congratulated you,” Seungwan casually starts sometime in the silence of their little stroll. “Is there an occasion you were inviting me for?”

 

Seulgi nods with a held back smile. “It’s my birthday.”

 

That actually made Seungwan stop walking. “You could have told me!”

 

Seulgi only laughs and beckons for Seungwan to keep walking. The latter refused.

 

“I would have congratulated you. Or at least sang you a birthday song or a cake, or—“

 

“Hey—“ Seulgi smiles and tugs at Seungwan’s hand before completely taking it in hers to get her to walk with her, “—it’s okay. I’m actually very happy. Granma Jiyoung and her teokbokki used to be my only company.”

 

Hearing this, Seungwan starts moving her feet, hand still in Seulgi’s.

 

As they stepped by Seungwan’s car, to the shorter girl’s insistence, they finally exchanged digits. 

 

Soon they had bid their goodbyes, and Seungwan can’t help but think of Kang Seulgi and how much longer the list of adjectives she’ll likely use to describe the other was probably way longer now.

 

Silly, funny, deep, nice and gentle definitely weren’t enough.

 

Later that night, as Seungwan’s thoughts wandered to the warmth of Seulgi’s hand and her simpler yet more meaningful preferences in life, she does end up singing her the birthday song—via voicemail.

 

She adds a little message and her good nights as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Seulgi, sweetie. It’s late. Are you not going home?”

 

In all her years, Granma Jiyoung has seen different kinds of people take refuge under her little tent in the night, drowning their sorrows in plates of teokkbokki, or occasionally soju.

 

But Seulgi has always been different. She was not snobbish like the rest of her crowd. She spent her time with simple people like herself, and would spend her nights under this little tent in special occasions. 

 

At first, it puzzled her why a girl like Seulgi would pick a place like hers in times like her birthdays. Eventually, the more times Seulgi came since her 14th birthday, Jiyoung understood.

 

“It’s okay, Granma,” Seulgi says as she looks up from her phone, soft light touching her already bright face. “I’d like the night to last a little longer.”

 

“You seem happy.”

 

Jiyoung didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the soft singing of the birthday song of a very angelic voice floated to her ears. Seulgi played it from her phone for probably the tenth time.

 

“I am, Granma. I really am.”

 

Jiyoung couldn’t help but smile. After all, it’s not every day that Seulgi wore a smile like that—one that reached her eyes.

 

Other than the song was a little message she’d play more times than the song.

 

‘Happy birthday, Seulgi! I—I’m glad I met someone like you. I’m happy you invited me to accompany you. I still think you should have allowed me to at least buy you a cake. Well—um—good night! Um—happy birthday, Chicken Girl! Bye.’

 

Seulgi would laugh every time that small little message ended.

 

It was truly a gem to watch. Granma Jiyoung wished this was something that happened every night in the lifetime of the lonely little girl she had grown to love as her own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week and a half pass and Seulgi and Seungwan have fallen to a texting routine (in addition to their late night walks and occasional teokbokki).

 

Seungwan was very thankful for the arrangement though, especially on a very mentally exhausting night such as the one she was having right this very moment.

 

It was her birthday and all she could think about was how tiring both Stephen’s presence and absence was (if that even made sense).

 

She really should not have been too disappointed that when Stephen asked her for a dinner date, it meant a dinner meeting with all of the future Kang business partners she will be working with the soonest they get married.

 

To his credit, he did mention that it was her birthday, to which everyone on the long dinner table share a toast for.

 

It was all pulling her shoulders down very fast, and the only thing that kept her afloat was Seulgi’s messages.

 

‘You can ditch, you know. I hear that restaurant’s food isn’t all that either.’ Typical Seulgi.

 

‘I’d really rather not get on my mother’s nerves tonight. This evening has already been bad enough.’

 

‘Aww. What’s the occasion?’ A bear emoji sat next to the question mark and somehow Seungwan can imagine Seulgi talking.

 

‘My birthday.’

 

That was the last message on their little exchange. Seungwan did not even have enough room in her heart to feel even more disappointed.

 

Until half an hour later, her phone dings once more.

 

‘Ditch. Now.’ (Angry cat emoji)

 

Seungwan chuckles a little at Seulgi’s antics. She was about to shoot the other girl a reply when the fire alarm were suddenly overwhelming her ears.

 

‘Ditch. I’m parked at the front entrance right now.’

 

Oh, god. Don’t tell me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“YOU’RE CRAZY!” Seungwan exclaims in Seulgi’s laughter.

 

It’s not that she felt the need to overreact with the whole thing. Seulgi was apparently driving Mercedes Benz AMG convertible and she liked to drive top down in the middle of the busy nightlife street so—-

 

“Isn’t pulling a fire prank like that a felony?” Seungwan asks, calmer this time. She begins removing her earrings. They were too heavy anyway. Then her shoes. They were too painful.

 

Seulgi reaches over the back of her seat (worrying Seungwan a little because hey, she was driving), and when her hand reemerges with a leather jacket she hands to the other girl. Seungwan can’t help but think of how cold it was back at the restaurant and her future husband didn’t even ask her if she was okay wearing such a dress.

 

She puts the jacket on, exasperation all but worn off and replaced with a comfortable smile.

 

It was quite a long ride and honestly Seungwan could care less. She was in a car, headed somewhere she didn't even know, but she felt leagues better than she did a while ago.

 

She wasn't too surprised either when Seulgi finally pulls up and they find themselves on the beach.

 

Seungwan breathes in deep, feeling calmer than she did at honestly any point of her life.

 

"How'd you leave?" Seulgi asks, reclining her seat and attention now on Seungwan. She lowers her radio's volume.

 

"I kind of just left."

 

Seungwan remembers shooting Stephen a text, telling him she's okay, to which he replies with 'alright but i have to make sure my business partners are safely out.'

 

"Should I be proud?" Seulgi says with that easy smile, and now Seungwan can't help but recline her seat as well and turn to the other girl as well.

 

"Oh, you should. My mother will be pretty pissed for months."

 

"I now christen you, brave child." Seulgi motions to touch Seungwan's forehead, but the other girl slapped her hand away, amused with her antics.

 

"It doesn't work that way, dummy." 

 

Seungwan half-heartedly flicks the other girl's forehead. Now that she thought about: she's been doing things loosely lately. It worries her to no end, but she felt so much... freer.

 

"So you're born like eleven days after I was," Seulgi says as she rubbed her forehead. "I wonder what that entails. We're probably destined for something."

 

You see, Seungwan knew it was a joke, but it doesn't mean it didn't tug at her heartstrings.

 

"Yeah? Like what?" she tells herself she's playing along.

 

"Hmm, I don't know. Eternally disappointing high society?" Seulgi was probably (somewhat) still joking, but she was looking skyward now.

 

"Or ourselves." Now, that wasn't a joke. Definitely not a joke.

 

Seungwan wanted to say something. She wanted to say or do something that could at least make her the one to make Seulgi smile this time around.

 

She probably didn't think it out too well when she says, "I'm not too disappointed when I'm with you."

 

Seulgi looks back at her, and Seungwan wasn't sure who brought two of the stars above right in front of her. They blink out of sight a second later however. Seulgi's attention was now on the song softly playing through her radio.

 

"Elvis?" Seungwan nearly chuckles at how cliché it was for something like Can't Help Falling in Love to play at a moment like this. "You know my dad danced with me to this song on my fourteenth birthday. That was the last. The company boomed that year. I guess a lot of things were pushed into the background."

 

Seulgi nods, attention skyward again. This time it looked as if she was looking for something there. Then, she gets up, gets off her car, and goes to Seungwan's side.

 

"Let's change that, come on," she says with her hand extended towards the other girl.

 

Seungwan breathes in deep with the thought that if she takes Seulgi's hand again, she knew things were bound to shift in her tight little world.

 

She takes it anyway.

 

And the night deepened with her head comfortably rested on Seulgi's chest, and frame safely wrapped in Seulgi's jacket and arms as they swayed to the cheesiest song on earth.

 

Son Seungwan forgets she was even engaged.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her life and engagement has been a little more bearable with Seulgi on her phone or Seulgi keeping her company (which has been happening regularly now).

 

The only thing that bothered her like a pea under her mattress was the fact that Seulgi still knew nothing about her engagement. She didn't know why she hesitates to tell her every time. It really wasn't like they were together.

 

Reality did have a way of biting you very, very painfully to remind you though.

 

It was on a Sunday night dinner when Seungwan does get bitten by reality. She and her parents were invited for dinner at the Kang's.

 

One would think that at this point of the engagement that it was only proper for her family to finally have dinner at the Kang Estate, but somewhere at the back of her head, she sort of thought this was all a 'flex' because damn the estate was at least twice as big as their own, and Stephen's mother wasn't one to shy from 'flexing' her assets (or her son).

 

Dinner was going 'well'. Topics were limited to business deals and (Stephen's) achievements in life. The food kept coming and coming. Their parents and Stephen shared a laugh here and there, and as usual, her fianceé's mysterious sister was again nowhere to be found.

 

At least until 7:30 when the huge doors open, and Seungwan's heart immediately plummet to her stomach.

 

Standing there, neatly dressed but was equally out of words—

 

—was Kang Seulgi.

 

She really should have known. There were signs—glaring signs. She did meet Seulgi the first time at a Kang party, Seulgi was a dancer (like her brother said she was), she had eyes like Stephen and Mr. Kang, and of course, let's not forget that she was a wealthy 'Kang'.

 

Seungwan immediately grabs her goblet of wine and downs it.

 

Mrs. Kang's mood immediately drops and she beckons for Seulgi to sit down with a firm hand. Even as the youngest Kang settles on the seat across Seungwan's, the Kang matriarch's eyes were stern.

 

"I am glad you finally decided to join us."

 

"I'm sorry I'm late, mother." That voice and how little it sounded, it truly felt like it didn't belong to Seulgi.

 

"This is Stephen's sister—Sophie."

 

Seungwan could feel Seulgi's burning gaze on her, and she couldn't even lift her eyes an inch to meet the other girl's eyes.

 

She really didn't know what to say, but the thing that really got her was the fact that this was a situation not even Seulgi can save her from. She wasn't even sure her little haven would ever want to talk to her again.

 

Her heart was constricting in her chest. She felt it beat very slowly, so painfully slow, and even slower when she hears nothing from Seulgi even as Mrs. Kang would throw a scold here and there.

 

"Fix your dress, Sophie."

 

"Sophie would have something interesting to share is she did better with her choices."

 

"For God' sake, Sophie, at least be respectful to our guests."

 

And though her own parents showed so much discomfort with how the Kang matriarch treated her own daughter, nobody seemed to stop her. 

 

Seungwan's hands were fidgeting again, and her dress felt very unkempt. She was dusting it unnecessarily again.

 

She really wished Seulgi would say something other than—

 

"Excuse me," Seulgi finally says as she stands up from her chair and completely leaves the dinner table, Mrs. Kang scowling at her retrearting form.

 

Seungwan has never felt this much pain in her life. She downs another goblet of wine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next week was torture. Seulgi would answer none of her texts or calls and would deliberately ignore her at practice even with the proximity and physical contact.

 

Seulgi would go home before anybody else stepped a foot out the door.

 

Seungwan's mood have crashed all the way to rock bottom, and she finds herself back in her smileless days and grey dinners with Stephen. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being the proud person that she was, Mrs. Kang made sure to have the wedding publicly announced—on print and on digital media, photoshoots and all.

 

Seungwan smiled in none of those photos. Also, it wasn't like she'd look happy even if she smiled.

 

The night of the same day the wedding was made known to the public, Kang Seulgi was nowhere in sight.

 

She didn't attend rehearsals and her phone was still unattended.

 

Seungwan was close to throwing her phone across the dance floor when it hits her.

 

There was a chance she'd find Seulgi 'there'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She was.

 

She was there.

 

And the sight broke Seungwan's heart into a million tiny pieces.

 

Seulgi lay her head on the table while Granma Jiyoung was soothing her hair. If that bottle of soju was any indicator of the usually cheery girl's current state, Seungwan was positive she was wasted.

 

She rushes to the other girl's side.

 

"What happened, Granma?" she worriedly asks, pushing the hair out of Seulgi's face as tenderly as she could.

 

"I don't know. She's been here every day this week. She came a lot earlier today and wouldn't stop."

 

It took a lot of prodding for Seulgi to at least respond with a groan, and with the old lady’s help, they at least got her in her car with Seungwan (after reluctantly frisking Seulgi for the keys) on the wheel. 

 

Seungwan had absolutely no idea where Seulgi would want to be taken. So, after much debate with herself, she decides to take her to her school apartment. At least there, her mother wouldn’t have to pry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seulgi is heavy. That’s for sure. With much effort, at least Seungwan was able to get her on her bed and remove her shoes.

 

She disappears into the bathroom and reemerges with a towel in hand. She uses it to wipe Seulgi’s face. The youngest Kang had been crying, and it was quite obvious. Seungwan hated herself for that.

 

Somewhere in between getting Seulgi refreshed and thinking, Seungwan realized four things:

 

One: her hands have completely stopped moving.

 

Two: she was just plain staring at Seulgi—from her furrowed brows to her soft lips.

 

Three: she was in love—

 

—just not with the Kang she was engaged to. 

 

Four: she was crying and she absolutely hated everything.

 

She furiously rubbed the tears away and tried her best to stifle the sobs. 

 

Just when she thought things couldn’t get anymore complicated, a hand was tugging her hands free from her eyes, and another was gently, very gently wiping her tears.

 

“Please don’t cry.” Her voice sounded a little rougher, but it was definitely Seulgi. She wasn’t imagining it.

 

“I just—I’m so sorry.”

 

Seulgi tugs her to lay with her, and to heck with it she’d rather be selfish about everything at this point. She lays her head on Seulgi’s chest and basks in her warmth as she feels her wrap an arm around her.

 

“I should’ve been honest with you.”

 

“It’s okay. I should have known, too.” Seulgi’s other hand was soothing her hair now. “It’s not your fault.”

 

How is she even real?

 

“That’s not what I mean,” Seungwan says in almost a whisper as she looks up to meet Seulgi’s tired eyes.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Next thing she knew, the biggest thing that could possibly make things irrevocably complicated was exactly where they were headed.

 

She brings a hand to the back of Seulgi’s neck and pulls her in for a tender kiss.

 

Every frustration, every smile, every thought she bared to Seulgi and Seulgi only was suddenly unconveyable with just a kiss. Seungwan tugs at Seulgi’s shirt and the Kang she actually sees a life with all but obliges.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That night, Seulgi keeps her as close as possible (as if her skin still burning with the other girl’s touch still wasn’t enough).

 

That night, Seulgi tells her everything—that she had long wanted nothing for the lonely girl sitting away from the dancing crowd but to make her smile; that she had long fallen for her even before Elvis; and that she had hoped that there was at least one thing she didn’t need to compete with her brother for.

 

That night, Seulgi whispered her love into Seungwan’s skin.

 

And that night, Seulgi marred her own words with her tears as she offers nothing but promises of ease for Seungwan—that she would never wish for Seungwan to ever feel burdened by her love; that she will put her in a position where she’d have to make a very difficult choice.

 

That night, Seulgi loved her entirely.

 

That night, Seulgi also gave her her freedom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Seungwan was a fool for ever thinking that it would be easy to be around Seulgi without thinking about her touch or the kisses they shared.

 

It was especially difficult when Seulgi had to hold her, touch her, graze her fingers on or breathe into her skin every time they train.

 

At one point it was just... too much.

 

She backs away from Seulgi, and by reflex fixes how tightly she had already bound her hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was the last fitting of her dress because her mother was that kind of perfectionist. Nothing can go wrong tomorrow.

 

“Have you been eating less, sweetie?” her mother asks, and Seungwan looks up to see very worried eyes. “Have you been overworking yourself?”

 

Seungwan doesn’t answer. There were a million reasons for losing weight, but she hopes her mother guesses right.

 

“Is something bothering you?”

 

Things, she wanted to say.

 

So many things.

 

“Rest, sweetie. Let’s head home, alright?”

 

Seungwan feels a slither of hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The biggest wedding of the year was happening today and the Kangs would love nothing but the biggest media coverage as well.

 

Seungwan could ‘feel’ the number of people in the church. She fidgets with the lace around her wrists. She had been fidgeting a lot lately.

 

She feels her father’s warmth around her shoulders.

 

“Your mother and I have been wondering. Is something bothering you?”

 

She couldn’t possibly tell them now, right?

 

Right?

 

“Just a little exhausted, dad.”

 

Then her father takes both her hands and looks her straight in her eyes.

 

“I am and will always be your dad. When you feel like talking, speak. You have your mom and I.”

 

She nods. All the more feeling the weight on her shoulders and her feet.

 

The wedding goes on anyway, and Seungwan does make her walk across the aisle with all heads turned towards her. She feels lightheaded. With every step she could no longer feel her grip on her bouquet. 

 

And all this wasn’t because she was getting ‘that kind’ of wedding jitters.

 

Every step she took her mind dips more and more into thoughts she and Seulgi agreed to sweep under the mat.

 

Every step was a dance between questions and feigned uncertainty. Questions. Then feigned uncertainty.

 

As she and her father were past halfway the aisle, the crowd becomes more and more familiar. There was Sooyoung, Chaeyoung, and, by extension, Lisa.

 

Then there was her rather nervous looking mother.

 

Questions. More questions.

 

And there, the Kang Family, Stephen and Seulgi’s parents, and of course, her aching heart, her biggest question mark, her semi-colon, her paramour—Seulgi looking like the sun on a waning afternoon.

 

Answers. At that moment, they lock eyes and suddenly she has answers.

 

Seulgi offers her a smile, a very kind smile and a reassuring nod. 

 

Her hands stop fidgeting.

 

Answers. Answers.

 

She knew what to do.

 

The ceremony goes with Seungwan having only half a mind to respond to formalities, and when it was her turn to speak her vows (honestly, she could care less what Stephen spouted about), her hands firmly grip the stem of her sorry bouquet. 

 

“I—“ she gulps and she could feel the entire church grow tense. “I vow that from this day forward, I shall give you—“

 

Seungwan looks straight into Stephen’s eyes. She blinks what little remained of her doubts away. The guy looked honestly very happy that she almost wonders where she had been during the entire engagement.

 

“—I give you my honesty.”

 

Stephen was still smiling.

 

“There was a moment when you talked to me about us. That maybe we were destined for something—“

 

Stephen was slowly looking rather confused.

 

“—you wondered if maybe we were meant to eternally disappoint high society or ourselves.”

 

Now, he was full on confused, but he tries to keep a bright face that Seungwan almost feels sorry for him.

 

“I have my answer now.”

 

On her periphery, she sees Seulgi moving out of her seat and slowly walking out on the aisle.

 

Seungwan turns to meet Seulgi’s now very hopeful eyes, then she turns to meet her parents’.

 

“Mom, dad. I love you both very dearly, but I want to be happy.”

 

Both her parents and Stephen’s stand dreadfully slow.

 

“I don’t want to disappoint you, but I could care less what high society thinks. I could care less how disappointed they will be with me. I just—“

 

Seungwan turns back to Stephen who was probably looking more lost than a boy left in an all-girls middle school.

 

“I could still feel everything. I could feel your love, your understanding, your kisses—I could feel you, and I just can’t break your heart.”

 

Seungwan removes her veil and the crowd gasps (Sooyoung probably howls with joy and pumps a fist). She grabs Stephen’s hand, puts both the bouquet and her veil in his hands, and with all the pounding in her heart that could deafen all her other senses, she turns to Seulgi with the biggest smile.

 

“I love you, Kang Seulgi. I have not known love like you have given me, and I don’t ever want to disappoint you.”

 

Seulgi looked very much like she couldn’t say anything at all, but she steps forward a little, smile very adorably tentative.

 

Her mother wasn’t having any of it however. Mrs. Kang very angrily steps in front of Seulgi, hand all but raised, when Sooyoung rolls her eyes and uses that same raised hand to turn the middle-aged woman around—

 

And straight up punch her in the face.

 

The crowd gasps for the second time, Stephen and his father rush to the Kang matriarch, and Seungwan gives her parents one more look of apology.

 

Her mother sits back down, gaze on the floor, but her father nods in understanding.

 

And that was enough.

 

With a blindingly bright smile, she all but runs and jumps into Seulgi’s arms.

 

“Ditch?” Seulgi kisses her chastely. 

 

“Hell, yes.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following weeks were a media nightmare, but for Seungwan, Mrs. Kang sporting a black eye was the best thing ever.

 

Well—

 

Right next to two other wonderful things:

 

One: her parents telling her that they never really would have wanted their only daughter be made to live in a house that cannot take care of its own daughter.

 

 

Two: Seulgi’s warmth on her being, besting the sun itself.

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Comments

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sewcret
#1
Chapter 1: wenseul endgame <3
p_ha_ine
#2
Chapter 1: revisiting this again. loving your words so so much... the process of falling in likeliness described very pure and thoughtfully.
FanReveluv
#3
Chapter 1: wenseul's number one fan is Joy and this fic proves it
It was very precious and I am happy that they were brave to find happiness in each other
babavivi #4
Chapter 1: Wow~ Seungwan was so brave
I really love this
Thank you author-nim for writing WenSeul :)
Pandafee
#5
Chapter 1: My heart, Content !
I_am_a_Swirl
#6
Chapter 1: AHH, I loved this so much!
Kklavs #7
Chapter 1: alabet <3
honeyblood17
#8
Chapter 1: Flack! This is a one shot but I felt the slowburn! I love thissssssss
mellifluouswan
1698 streak #9
Chapter 1: i love this so much
shonwanigop
#10
Chapter 1: Wenseul. Thank God this is happy ending