(do) you know what I want

take all of me (it's alright)

There was something melancholic about not getting to meet your soulmate in a world where everyone had one and many had met theirs. Granted, not everyone ended up with their so-called 'destined one', but it didn't stop Taekwoon from feeling envious as he attended his co-worker's wedding.

"Well, you're not exactly alone in this 'I have yet met my soulmate' thing," commented Wonshik, his childhood friend who also attended the event since he was the other groom's business partner.

"Shut up. At the very least you've felt 'the tug' one time when you traveled to Thailand for vacation," grumbled Taekwoon. Wonshik laughed dryly at that, still remembering the whole incident.

He was at the main street, walking towards the souvenir market to get some knick knacks for friends and family. Then, suddenly, he felt like his left ring finger was tugged strongly, indicating that his soulmate was close. But just as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone instantly too. Wonshik guessed that his soulmate was riding a bike or bus or just anything that went super fast, and that made him unable to see whom his soulmate was. Unfortunately for him, he had to return to Seoul that night, so he had no chance to go around trying to find who made him felt the tug. Five years after that event, he still hadn’t returned to Thailand again, and the existence of his soulmate remained a mystery.

“It doesn’t change the fact that until now, I still haven’t actually met my soulmate, and is still completely single,” said Wonshik as he sipped the cold barley tea. Taekwoon rolled his eyes dramatically at that, and it didn’t escape Wonshik’s observation. “Hey, at least you went and dated several times! You have a taste of how a relationship feels like,” protested Wonshik.

“Yeah, but all those times, we broke up because they found their soulmate… I have to find mine to avoid such thing from happening again,” grumbled Taekwoon.

“Doesn’t your second sister marry someone who isn’t her soulmate? She’s one of the real proof that loving someone doesn’t always have to do with being soulmates,” argued Wonshik. Taekwoon shot him a dirty look at that, making Wonshik chuckled instead.

“Hey, Hyung, how about this… Let’s have a look around for a few more years. Let’s try to find our soulmates. But if after several years we both don’t find our respective soulmates, let’s date, and maybe get married?” offered Wonshik teasingly.

“And why should I date—or worse, marry—you?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik shrugged at that.

“Dunno. Because we’ve known each other for a very long time anyway? I mean, at this point, soulmate or not, I’m the only one who can handle your bull, vice versa,” explained Wonshik nonchalantly. “Plus, if we date and live under the same roof, you can eat whatever I have in my fridge without having to lie that Ongdongie ate it.”

Taekwoon gave him an annoyed look again, but he was actually considering what Wonshik said. He hated to admit it, but some of his relationships actually ended because it simply didn’t work out between them, even without any soulmates coming into the equation. What Wonshik said was right; he’s probably the only one who could tolerate Taekwoon the same way Taekwoon could tolerate him. Also the part where he could eat whatever food Wonshik had and play with Ongdongie everyday sounded really tempting.

“How many years?” asked Taekwoon.

“How many years, what?” asked Wonshik back.

“Your offer. How many years should we look around before we decide to settle with each other?” asked Taekwoon more clearly. Wonshik thought about it quickly. He didn’t really plan it clearly beforehand, and he wasn’t really expecting Taekwoon to go with his idea after all. But from how the conversation was going, they’re really about to do it, and he’s seriously thinking about the right amount of time for them.

“How about… Five years? You still have to go for military service, and so do I a year after you. Our combined time for military service is 3 years, so I’m adding 2 more years to find our soulmates outside the service. How do you think?” explained Wonshik.

“Can’t you just go serve together with me? Then add 1 more year so the total is 3 years,” offered Taekwoon.

“Old man is getting impatient or what?” teased Wonshik, and Taekwoon hit him on the shoulder for it. They’re only 3 years apart, for heaven’s sake. “Okay, 3 years then. But I’m still not going to serve at the same year with you. Let’s just settle it after I get out from the military,” said Wonshik.

“It’s a deal,” agreed Taekwoon.

Wonshik clinked their glasses together to seal it.


The first few weeks into the military service was difficult for Taekwoon. Thankfully since he had an extensive background in music, he ended up joining the Military Band instead of other difficult and scary-sounding units. He was actually looking for something lighter like public service sector or something, but thanks to that Kim Wonshik, that goddamn gym-loving Wonshik who always dragged him along every single time, he was deemed physically fit enough for something other than public service.

When Taekwoon got his first visit from the little brat who caused it, Wonshik was laughing in delight at his predicament. Still, Taekwoon found that he couldn’t really get angry at him since he brought some of his mother’s cooking.

“Your mother asked me to bring you some. Go eat. I know you miss home although it’s only been a month,” said Wonshik as he opened the containers.

“You’re not allowed to have any. These are all mine,” warned Taekwoon as he grabbed his chopsticks, glaring at Wonshik.

“Yeah, yeah, you can eat them all, you hamzzi,” sing-songed Wonshik as he giggled at how Taekwoon looked cute instead of scary when he glared at him like that over the food.

“I’m not ‘hamzzi’,” protested Taekwoon right before he stuffed the stir-fry beef and octopus inside his mouth, making his cheeks puffed up. Wonshik laughed and lightly poked the stuffed cheeks.

“Cute hamzzi,” he cooed. Taekwoon glared at him again, no matter how ineffective it was.

After Wonshik went back home and Taekwoon returned to his duty, one of his roommates quickly approached him.

“Your boyfriend came to visit? Hey, I’m so envious!” he whined.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends,” replied Taekwoon flatly. His roommate hummed at that, clearly not believing what Taekwoon said.

“Okay, sure… Not boyfriend…” he mumbled. Taekwoon gave him a neck chop for that.

Over the months, though, Wonshik kept on visiting him whenever he got the time. And each time, he’d bring some stuff that Taekwoon really wanted—from the home-cooked meal to the newest single of his favorite singer. And each time, Taekwoon’s friends from the military would about his ‘boyfriend’.

“We are just friends,” confirmed Wonshik when one of them got too curious not to ask.

“And how long exactly have you been friends?” he asked since he didn’t believe that someone could be that close to someone and ended up only as friends.

“How old are you, Hyung?” asked Wonshik to Taekwoon.

“Thirty. Is it even relevant to the question?” replied Taekwoon.

“Yeah, because I remember clearly about attending your eighth birthday and you sharing your slice of cake with me. So, we’ve been friends for about 22 years now,” said Wonshik.

“You were crying while holding my shirt! I had no other choice but to feed you some cake so you’d shut up,” argued Taekwoon.

“And now you’ve been stealing my food to make up for that cake, sad,” teased Wonshik.

“Are you sure you’re not his boyfriend?” asked Taekwoon’s friend again.

“No, we’re not boyfriends. Just friends,” replied Wonshik and Taekwoon almost at the same time.

No one seemed to believe in that statement, though.


Only a few days left before Wonshik had to join the military camp, and Taekwoon was using his call allowance to talk to him for a bit.

“So, have you found any clue on your soulmate?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik outright laughed at the phone, and the sound made Taekwoon felt both warm and anxious.

“No such luck. Maybe they’re already died,” joked Wonshik.

“Don’t jinx it,” quipped Taekwoon.

“What about you? Anything in the military? Anything at all?” asked Wonshik.

“Same like you, no such luck too. I’m pretty positive that my soulmate is still alive, though,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik hummed in reply, and there was a short pause before he spoke again.

“I was wondering… if after we get into relationship and suddenly one of our soulmates appeared, then what happened?” asked Wonshik.

At that kind of question, Taekwoon fell silent. What else was there to do? The logical option was to break up and get into a real relationship with their respective soulmates, right? But then again, it was what he wanted to do if his soulmate arrived. If Wonshik’s arrived first, he’d hate having to see his childhood friend being all lovey-dovey with his soulmate while Taekwoon himself was left to eat dust.

“Dunno. We’ll just… discuss it when it actually happens?” replied Taekwoon, feeling a bit unsure.

“I’ll change the question then; if your soulmate suddenly appears after we date, what will you do?” asked Wonshik.

“Dump you and date them, duh,” replied Taekwoon.

“How if my soulmate arrives first before yours? Would you like me to break up with you?” asked Wonshik. Taekwoon bit his lips, considering about lying, but he knew that Wonshik could probably see through it.

“No… I want you to stay with me until I find mine. Then we can break up,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled at his honest answer.

“Wow… Okay then, basically we can only break up if you find your soulmate?” asked Wonshik teasingly.

“What, are you going to call me selfish? Do you expect me to watch you being all lovey-dovey with your soulmate with a smile on my face, even when you know that I’m the most bitter and salty about this whole soulmate thing?” replied Taekwoon, voice raising a bit.

“Yeah, it does sound incredibly selfish,” agreed Wonshik. Taekwoon was about to fight him, to call him senseless and stupid, but then Wonshik continued, “But that makes a lot of sense for me. So, okay. Even if I’ve found my soulmate, I’ll wait for you to find yours.”

Taekwoon didn’t know why his heart thumped hard at that, but it just did.

“Go talk big only after you find yours,” grumbled Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled, completely oblivious at how his words and little noises and his presence in general had started to make Taekwoon feel something.

“I’ll make sure to make you extra salty and bitter when I find my soulmate before you,” said Wonshik calmly. Taekwoon cursed at him as the younger continued to laugh.


Even after Wonshik got into the military service, Taekwoon couldn’t meet him more often than before. That gym-loving Wonshik had been chosen to join the White Skull, and just thinking about it made Taekwoon shuddered. Still, Taekwoon received Wonshik’s letter from time to time, telling him about how he was doing okay despite the harsh training. He ended up writing some letters to reply to him, to cheer him up and gave him encouragement.

When Taekwoon had finally been released from the service, too, the letters from Wonshik were still coming. It warmed him somehow, knowing that the only two Wonshik wrote to was his own family and Taekwoon.

“Don’t you think it means something, that he keeps on sending letters to you like this? I mean, other than you, he only writes to his family,” asked Sungkyu, the super noisy guy from military service that ended up being his close friend afterwards. He’s one of the guys who suspected Wonshik to be more than ‘just friends’ with Taekwoon, and Taekwoon honestly didn’t know how he ended up befriending such person.

“Well, you’ve heard him… We’ve been friends for 22 years and counting. I think it’s only natural that he sends letters to me,” replied Taekwoon with a shrug.

“He entrusted his dog to you too,” pointed Sungkyu as he cocked his head to the said dog, who was currently sleeping comfortably on Taekwoon’s lap.

“No, he left Ongdongie’s care to his family, but I’m allowed to bring him with me whenever I want,” replied Taekwoon calmly.

“Which is all the time! I swear, Taekwoon, every time we meet up, that Frenchie is always with you,” said Sungkyu.

“I don’t bring the dog all the time, Sungkyu. We don’t meet every day either,” replied Taekwoon. Sungkyu only raised his hands in defeat.

“Anyway, how’s this whole soulmate search going? You only have one year and a few months left before you’re stuck to that ‘just friends’ guy,” asked Sungkyu, picking up a new topic after he couldn’t make Taekwoon admitted that something was definitely going on with him and Wonshik.

“So far? Nothing. I’m starting to get tired to search around too,” said Taekwoon. Sungkyu raised his eyebrows in interest.

“So you’re going to let time just pass by, and hook up with that Wonshik guy?” teased Sungkyu.

“No, I’m letting the universe and the gravity of fate drag my soulmate to find me instead of the other way around. I haven’t given up on this soulmate thing, but I don’t exactly want to move around,” said Taekwoon with a shrug.

Sungkyu rolled his eyes on that.


Wonshik was finally released from the military service and Taekwoon had a very good laugh at the younger’s hair. It was extremely short, and it felt funny when he ran his hand over the buzz cut.

“So, is one year enough for you to find your soulmate?” asked Wonshik as he took Taekwoon on a walk—well, he actually took Ongdongie on a walk but Taekwoon was dog-sitting him so they just went together.

“Still nothing,” replied Taekwoon with a shrug.

“Do you want to take my previous offer about adding 2 more years to search for our soulmate?” asked Wonshik again. Taekwoon shook his head.

“No, I’m tired of searching. Let’s just hook up,” said Taekwoon.

“Now?” asked Wonshik.

Taekwoon looked at him with a small smile playing on his lips and replied, “Yeah. Now.”

Taekwoon then reached out to hold Wonshik’s hand, the one that was currently holding Ongdongie’s leash, and stared expectantly at him.

Gently, Wonshik uncurled his fist so he could entwine his fingers with Taekwoon’s, and then grinned widely at him.

This time, Taekwoon could really how feel his heart beat faster, how he felt all warm and giddy inside, and he could confidently admit that it’s all because of Wonshik.


If Taekwoon knew that hooking up with Wonshik would be that nice, he thought that he should’ve done it sooner. Sure, there were times when they fought over small things to the point they yelled at each other, but even such fights were over very soon and they were quick on making up with each other. Wonshik was quick to apologize when it was his fault, and yet he was firm enough when it was Taekwoon’s fault. Still, he was patient and understanding, knowing just how to push Taekwoon to be a better person in general.

There were surprise gifts and meals, unplanned dates and whatnot, with “just because” and “because why not?” as Wonshik’s favorite reasons. He knew how to make Taekwoon laugh even when the older was sad, not because he was funny but simply because he’s Wonshik.

He’s just Kim Wonshik, and he’s Taekwoon’s Wonshik.

He let Taekwoon to play with Ongdongie all he wanted, to take the food he kept on the shelves and fridge, to sneak into his bed and cuddle with him anytime he wanted. And although Wonshik’s loud snoring annoyed him at first, it slowly turned into an odd lullaby for him. That, accompanied with Wonshik’s musky scent and body warmth, made Taekwoon felt really cozy sleeping next to him.

The way Wonshik waited patiently for Taekwoon to finally kiss him on the lips also melted Taekwoon inside. About half a year into their relationship, Taekwoon noticed that Wonshik never kissed him on the lips. He’d kiss his hand, sometimes his cheeks too, but never on the lips. In Taekwoon’s past relationships, he only needed a few weeks, days even, to get to that point. But it took so long with Wonshik, and he asked it out of curiosity.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean, I don’t know if you want it or not,” replied Wonshik softly, face and neck bright red like boiled octopus. He was obviously glancing at Taekwoon’s lips, obviously thinking about having them pressed against his own, but he was quick to drop his gaze too.

“Do you want it, though?” asked Taekwoon as he stepped closer, making Wonshik finally looked up at him properly. “Do you want to kiss me on the lips?”

Seeing how Wonshik looked at him with a mix of bashfulness and burning desire up close like that, it’s exciting. Taekwoon couldn’t stop himself from glancing down to Wonshik’s lips, small and still a bit chapped despite his effort of using lip balm on a daily basis, and wondered how they felt against his own.

“Yes,” breathed Wonshik, softly, delicately. “Yes, I want to feel your lips on mine.”

Just like that, Taekwoon closed the distance between them.

Just like that, Taekwoon pulled Wonshik into their bedroom and did what he wanted to do with him, pulling Wonshik deeper into him, to the point it felt like they’d lost their minds.

Just like that, they held each other even closer than before.


The whole deal about soulmates had completely left Taekwoon’s mind, especially when he had Wonshik by his side. They were so happy together, and Taekwoon really thought that nothing would disturb their happiness—

—Until on a sunny spring day, he felt a tug on his left ring finger.

His eyes were as wide as dining plate when he saw the red string, following its trail until he found himself locking eyes with a man who had just taken a seat on the table next to them.

Hyung, what’s wrong?” asked Wonshik, making Taekwoon quickly whipped his head back to him. Wonshik couldn’t see his red string, of course, but he seemed to know what’s happening just from Taekwoon’s expression alone.

“Excuse me,” greeted someone—the man who held the other end of Taekwoon’s red string, “My name is Cha Hakyeon. May I join this table?”

Taekwoon wanted to decline. He knew that the man, Cha Hakyeon or whatever, was his destined soulmate that he had been waiting for all these years. But for some reasons, he didn’t want him to join their table. He didn’t want to hear what he’s about to say to both of them.

“Sure, please take a seat,” agreed Wonshik with a sweet smile as he gestured to the empty seat across him.

“I’m Kim Wonshik and this is Jung Taekwoon,” introduced Wonshik after Hakyeon was seated. Taekwoon glared at Wonshik, but the younger was either oblivious of it or he simply ignored it.

“Oh, so your name is Jung Taekwoon? Nice to meet you,” greeted Hakyeon as he held out his hand for Taekwoon to take. Taekwoon only stared at the other hand, at the red string that was still visible for both of them, and didn’t shake hands with Hakyeon.

Hyung is really shy, don’t mind it too much,” said Wonshik when Taekwoon left Hakyeon hanging for too long.

“Ah. This is probably too sudden too,” said Hakyeon with a smile, finally turning his attention to Wonshik. “Let me reintroduce myself then. My name is Cha Hakyeon, 33 years old. I’ve just recently moved here from Busan. If any of you are interested in learning ballroom dance, the newly opened studio at the corner of this street is mine. Please stop by when you have some time,” said Hakyeon as he reached into his pocket and handed out a business card. Wonshik accepted it politely, and Taekwoon was grateful that he didn’t offer him any to take.

“I’m Kim Wonshik, 30 years old. I’m a lecturer at Baekseok Art University, and I’m also running a casual clothing label ‘The Crack Kidz’ with my friends. Please follow us on Instagram if you like,” said Wonshik as he handed out his clothing label’s business card. Hakyeon took it politely, then turned expectantly to Taekwoon.

Taekwoon knew that Hakyeon probably meant no harm, but for some reasons he felt alerted. Yet, at the same time, he felt that it’s okay to trust him. Be it the soulmate instinct kicking in or anything, he could feel his guard lowering bit by bit.

Hyung… Say something. He’s your soulmate, isn’t he? Shouldn’t you at least introduce yourself?” whispered Wonshik softly.

Colors drained from Taekwoon’s face. So Wonshik really noticed it. He noticed that the man who showed up out of nowhere was his boyfriend’s soulmate, and yet he still had that gentle smile on his lips. How was it even possible?

“Well… It seems that he really is as shy as you said. It can’t be helped, right? A stranger showing up suddenly like this… I do hope that we can get to know each other better, though, Taekwoon-ssi,” said Hakyeon with a polite smile. He then stood up from his seat and said, “I don’t want to bother you further for now, so I’ll take my leave. I do hope that we can meet again.”

With a polite bow, he left.

“What was that, Hyung?! He’s your soulmate, but why are you like this?” asked Wonshik immediately after Hakyeon was out from the restaurant.

“I freaked out, okay?! I freaked out! How am I supposed to do in this kind of situation?!” exclaimed Taekwoon.

“Well, you can at the very least give him your number? I don’t know? I mean, he’s your soulmate! Isn’t he the very person you’ve been looking for all your life? To the point that you’re desperate enough to take my offer to date?” said Wonshik.

It hit Taekwoon then, what his current relationship with Wonshik was built upon.

“I don’t… I don’t want to talk about this right now,” said Taekwoon slowly.

He was expecting for Wonshik to argue with him, to tell him that it was a serious matter that needed to be discussed right away. But to his surprise, Wonshik only nodded slowly.

“I understand. Let’s just eat for now,” said Wonshik, oddly calm for someone who had just seen his boyfriend’s soulmate appearing out of nowhere.

But then again, how much longer would they call themselves ‘boyfriends’?

Despite the lunch being Taekwoon’s most favorite menu from his favorite restaurant, it tasted like ashes in his mouth.


With some encouragement from Wonshik, Taekwoon finally visited Hakyeon’s dance studio. He was nice and cheerful, and all of his students seemed to love him. He was patient and easy to talk with, and it didn’t take long for Taekwoon to open up to him. Although he didn’t take the offer to sign up for any dance class, he did take the offer to have some meals and talk with him.

Hyung, are you free this Saturday? Inseob told me about a new Japanese ramen shop near campus, do you want to go there together?” asked Wonshik one evening, when they had just done washing the dishes and were getting ready to sleep.

“Ah… I’ve already had plans with Hakyeon this Saturday. Sorry,” replied Taekwoon, feeling genuinely sorry about it. His weekends used to be reserved for dates with Wonshik, but lately it had been shared with Hakyeon too. And although Wonshik hadn’t said anything about it, his dejection was always shown as clear as the sky on a sunny day.

“I see… Well, I guess we can just go there some other time. Have fun with Hakyeon-hyung tomorrow, okay?” said Wonshik with a gentle smile, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Wordlessly, Taekwoon wrapped his arms around Wonshik’s waist and simply held him close in the middle of the living room. Wonshik was giggling as he returned the hug, softly patting Taekwoon’s back.

“I’m not upset, Hyung… Well, maybe a little. But I understand… this. Us. You. So I’m okay,” said Wonshik softly.

Taekwoon didn’t like just how soft his voice sounded, how painful it was in both his ears and heart. He bit Wonshik’s shoulder as reprimand, pleased to hear how Wonshik yelped and giggled again.

“I’m hugging you just because I want to; shut up,” murmured Taekwoon. Wonshik snorted loudly at that, but he didn’t say anything in return. He simply held Taekwoon a little tighter, a little closer.

“Let’s take some rest. You’ll need it for tomorrow,” said Wonshik as he gave Taekwoon a peck on his temple and pulled his hands away. Taekwoon let go of him, following him into their bed and quickly scooted closer once Wonshik had laid down with him.

“Let’s go to the ramen shop on Sunday,” murmured Taekwoon against Wonshik’s chest.

“Okay,” replied Wonshik sleepily.

“It’s a date,” added Taekwoon. Wonshik giggled at that, and Taekwoon felt a soft kiss planted on top of his head.

“I know,” replied Wonshik.


“I haven’t told Hakyeon that we’re actually dating,” admitted Taekwoon softly.

It was one of the days when Wonshik had scheduled a date with Taekwoon, but suddenly Hakyeon asked Taekwoon out for something and it ended up with Taekwoon having to choose between his current boyfriend or his destined soulmate. It already happened a bit too often, and Taekwoon hated having to keep on checking whether he's being fair or not to both of them. It was too tiring for him.

And yet, Wonshik's idea of a 'win-win solution' was to go with the three of them together. Taekwoon was highly against it.

So there they were, with Taekwoon admitting about his first and foremost reason on why he didn't want Hakyeon and Wonshik to go together.

There was a long, heavy silence between them, before Wonshik broke it with a very soft yet sharp question:

“Should we just break up, then?”

Taekwoon quickly looked up to Wonshik, but it was Wonshik’s turn to look down at his lap, refusing to look at Taekwoon in the eyes.

“I mean, we only hook up because you haven’t found your soulmate yet. But now he’s here, so… What’s the use of keeping this relationship anyway?” asked Wonshik slowly.

“Because I haven’t made my decision yet,” said Taekwoon. Those words made Wonshik raised his head, looking at Taekwoon with frown between his brows.

“I haven’t decided whether I really want to spend the rest of my life with him or not. So, no, I won’t allow you to break up with me. Not yet,” elaborated Taekwoon.

“Do you realize just how selfish you sounded just now?” asked Wonshik.

“What, do you want to break up with me, is that it?” asked Taekwoon back.

Again, silence, and Wonshik dropped his sight again.

“No,” said Wonshik quietly, “I don’t want to break up with you.”

“Then we’re not breaking up,” said Taekwoon, finalizing their argument. He rose from his seat and stomped to their bedroom, not leaving any space for Wonshik to argue any further.

Despite his dramatic exit, Taekwoon was still expecting Wonshik to follow him into the bedroom, to lay down with him like always. But Wonshik didn’t follow him, not even after he turned off all the lights in their apartment.

Slowly, Taekwoon rolled away from their bed, stepping out to see just where Wonshik had decided to sleep at. He was unsurprised to find him lying on the couch, awkwardly trying to fit his tall body to the small space. With a heavy sigh, Taekwoon sat down at the little space by Wonshik’s tummy and patted his shoulder.

“Sleep inside. We might be arguing, but I won’t let you sleep on the couch,” said Taekwoon firmly.

“And if I don’t want to?” challenged Wonshik.

Taekwoon simply dropped his whole weight on Wonshik, squeezing him further to the poor couch.

“Stop, stop, I’ll sleep inside, but please just stop squeezing me!” yelped Wonshik. Taekwoon sat up straight again then, letting Wonshik to move around and sat up as well.

“I’ll sleep on the bed with you, but I don’t want to have you clinging to me tonight. Just don’t do it,” said Wonshik.

“Fine with me,” replied Taekwoon.

With that, Wonshik followed Taekwoon into their room, although he was quick to lay on the side as far as possible from Taekwoon. Taekwoon, too, followed Wonshik’s wish earlier and slept facing the other side.

But when morning came and Taekwoon woke up earlier than Wonshik, he realized that the younger had his chest pressed to Taekwoon’s back, an arm around his middle, and forehead resting on his nape.

Still, he remembered Wonshik’s unwillingness for any physical touch from the night before, and he reluctantly detached himself from the still sleeping man before getting ready to work.

“Should we just break up, then?”

The question was also still ringing in his ears all day long.


"Taekwoon, I'm just wondering… Are you not interested in having any romantic relationship with me?" asked Hakyeon on one of their coffee dates. The ice Americano Taekwoon was sipping almost went through the wrong way, and Taekwoon quickly put down his cup to prevent any further incident.

"Why are you saying that so suddenly?" asked Taekwoon back. Hakyeon shrugged at that.

"You don't seem interested after all, despite us being soulmates and stuff…" said Hakyeon as he stirred his royal milk tea idly. But then he stopped and slowly raised his gaze to meet Taekwoon’s, then asked the one question Taekwoon had been dreading to hear:

“Are you, perhaps… dating Wonshik right now?”

Taekwoon knew that he could no longer dodge the question, nor lie about it. So he awkwardly nodded, and kept his sight down afterwards.

“Well… Hard to say that I’m surprised, but I have to admit that I’m a bit disappointed. Not because you didn’t choose me, not that, but because I think it’s unfair to both Wonshik and me,” said Hakyeon. His voice was firm, yet calming.

“I just don’t want to complicate things by telling you that Wonshik and I are dating,” admitted Taekwoon.

“But it did become complicated, at least between you and Wonshik, right?” asked Hakyeon. Taekwoon nodded at that, remembering all the times they’re so close to arguing over the whole arrangement.

“What do you think about Wonshik, then? Is he just a stand-in before we met, or are you really in love with him?” asked Hakyeon.

Taekwoon raised his gaze slowly and opened his mouth, ready to say ‘I don’t know’, but somehow he hesitated.

Did he really not know about how he felt towards Wonshik, or did he just pretend that he didn’t know?

He remembered his outburst when Wonshik offered to end their relationship. He remembered how his heart was beating like crazy every time Wonshik was close by, smiling and laughing and being a bit naughty sometimes.

He realized that he knew the answer to Hakyeon’s question, and that Hakyeon could see it in his eyes even when Taekwoon hadn’t said a word. Hakyeon simply smiled at him and nodded in understanding.

“My second sister… She found her soulmate when she was in college. But both her and her soulmate didn’t end up together, since both of them already have someone else they love,” said Hakyeon.

“Soulmates don’t always come together. Well, not always romantically, I suppose, since my sister is still friends with her soulmate anyway. But I still believe that true love exists, even if it’s something you choose rather than something that is already written in the big book of fate,” added Hakyeon, still with an understanding smile.

“You’re a good man, Hakyeon,” said Taekwoon. Hakyeon beamed brightly at that.

“I know I am,” replied Hakyeon.


Even after the talk he had with Hakyeon that weekend, Taekwoon still spared his time to meet up with Hakyeon regularly. Without a burden or pressure to choose between his soulmate and boyfriend anymore, Taekwoon felt that it’s easier to talk to Hakyeon. True to what Hakyeon said, even if they didn’t end up in a romantic relationship, it’s easy for them to be good friends.

One of the things Taekwoon consulted Hakyeon was about how in the world he should break it to Wonshik that he’s the only one Taekwoon wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and what would be good to represent that in a physical object.

“If you ask me, I’d go for the classic—couple rings. I assume you know his ring size, don’t you?” suggested Hakyeon.

“Well, he has a lot of rings. I can steal one for measurement,” replied Taekwoon with a shrug.

“So you agree with my suggestion of giving him couple rings?” asked Hakyeon. Taekwoon smiled and nodded.

“I trust your judgement, my friend,” said Taekwoon.

They then started to look at some samples of couple rings over the internet for references. The designs offered were all pretty and unique, but eventually Taekwoon’s attention fell on one.

It was a simple platinum band, dotted with small red rubies in the middle. What’s more, it came with a detachable chain, to represent an unbreakable connection.

Without wasting too much time, Taekwoon contacted the store to ask if he could see the real product before making his order. Fortunately, they had an outlet near where Taekwoon and Hakyeon were, so they could drop by right away.

At the closer look, Taekwoon felt even more convinced to order that design.

“Are you buying it for you and your boyfriend?” asked the salesperson with a bright smile.

“Yes, it’s for me and my boyfriend,” replied Taekwoon nonchalantly.

“I’m not his boyfriend. Just his good friend,” added Hakyeon quickly, since he already could sense the beginning of the salesperson’s misunderstanding.

“I see… Well, we have friendship rings and bracelets too if you’re interested,” the salesperson said quickly, not missing the slightest chance to make more sales.

“Friendship bracelet sounds good. I’ll buy us a pair, as a thanks,” said Taekwoon.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to,” rejected Hakyeon politely.

“I want to. Please,” insisted Taekwoon.

In the end, they exit the shop with a pair of identical thin silver bracelet, and the store’s ring catalogue booklet that had a good explanation on how to measure ring size so Taekwoon could just do it himself and ordered the rings he wanted through the online store.

“Thanks a lot for today, Hakyeon,” said Taekwoon with a wide smile.

“And thank you for this bracelet,” replied Hakyeon.


It’s been roughly a month since Taekwoon noticed that Wonshik was behaving strangely. He often came home late, and barely ever had his dinner at home too. He also started working on weekends, saying that his and his friend’s clothing store needed extra hands since they got popular lately.

Shortly said, it’s getting harder and harder to see Wonshik, even though they lived under the same roof.

Eventually, it bugged Taekwoon enough to confront Wonshik one night. It’s one of the rare nights when he actually got home early and had proper dinner with Taekwoon, instead of working overtime at the university or clothing store. Still, Wonshik was really quiet during dinner, and it intrigued Taekwoon even further.

“Wonshik, are you avoiding me on purpose?” asked Taekwoon as both of them cleaned up the dining table.

“No, I’m just really busy lately, that’s all,” replied Wonshik right away without even looking at Taekwoon.

“If I did or said something wrong, please tell me. I really feel that we’re drifting apart day by day lately, and I don’t want that,” said Taekwoon again. Wonshik rolled his neck and gave out a long, tired sigh.

“I’ve told you; I’m just really busy lately. That’s just how life is. And not everything has something to do with you,” said Wonshik.

“You’ve just made it sounds like it does,” quipped Taekwoon.

Wonshik immediately stopped everything he was doing, then going straight to their unit’s door while shaking his head.

“Where are you going?” asked Taekwoon quickly.

“Chiwoong’s place. I’m not in the mood to argue with you right now,” replied Wonshik as he slipped into his shoes.

“At this hour? Seriously? And, us arguing? What the hell? I just want us to talk!” protested Taekwoon.

“And I don’t want to talk; end of discussion,” bit Wonshik back. Taekwoon threw his hands into the air in frustration, not knowing why Wonshik got so grouchy like that.

“What the hell is your problem?! Aren’t we boyfriends? Are you just going to skip the whole communication thing and assume that I’ll understand everything you feel and think? Or are you doing it on purpose? Do you want to break up or something?” complained Taekwoon.

“I don’t know; do you want to break up?” replied Wonshik angrily.

No! Are you crazy? I’ve told you before; I won’t break up with you!” yelled Taekwoon.

“Well that doesn’t change anything; I’m still going,” said Wonshik.

“Fine! Whatever! Go away! No need to bother coming home too, then!” yelled Taekwoon.

Wonshik only slammed the door in reply, making Taekwoon cursed softly.


Morning came and so did the regret. While Taekwoon felt that Wonshik was at fault for being too easily angered like that, he also knew that his persistence and the thing he yelled at Wonshik were not good either. He thought about apologizing, but he knew that the probability of him and Wonshik to talk civilly at home was slim.

After some consideration, he texted the class president for his afternoon class to inform about class cancellation and the options for the substitute class. He then checked the fridge for ingredients and made delicious lunchbox for two.

With the peace offering in hand, Taekwoon went to the university where Wonshik taught. If the schedule he had was still the same, Wonshik should be at the lecturer’s longue for lunch break. He took the bet, and exhaled in relief when he saw his boyfriend sitting behind his desk.

“Good afternoon, Kim Wonshik-ssaem,” greeted Taekwoon as he took a seat in front of Wonshik’s desk. Wonshik looked surprised at his presence, but for the time being he didn’t look hostile like the night before.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a class to teach?” asked Wonshik immediately.

“I cancel it. I want to have lunch with you,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik sighed as he glanced at the clock.

“I have class in 30 minutes. Not sure if the canteen is empty enough for us to eat,” said Wonshik.

“I packed lunch for us,” said Taekwoon as he pulled out two lunchboxes from his sling bag and put it on the desk. Wonshik’s lips twitched up, and Taekwoon felt hopeful at that reaction.

“We better eat it fast, then,” said Wonshik with a small smile. Seeing the positive reaction, Taekwoon beamed brightly, and it seemed contagious enough for Wonshik to smile a bit wider.

As they enjoyed their lunch, Wonshik slowly talked, “I… want to apologize for last night. I shouldn’t react so badly. But please believe me when I said I’m busy because I really am.”

“I said mean things too, so maybe we can consider it even,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik hummed in reply.

“I gave my students an assignment to do a book review. But then I forgot to give limitations on what title they could review, so I ended up receiving reviews on the books I had never heard about before. But… You know me; I don’t want to grade their assignments carelessly, so I’ve been going around reading mountains of books for that. That’s why I often came home late,” explained Wonshik.

It made sense, Taekwoon thought. Wonshik was always that extra for his job, and Taekwoon couldn’t blame him for that.

“Next time, maybe you can ask for my help. I know I don’t teach literature like you do, but I do like to read books, and I can help you," said Taekwoon. Wonshik nodded to that, and it made Taekwoon felt a bit better that they've talked it out.

"As for the clothing store… You know the boy group Verivery from Jellyfish? The one that debuted earlier this year?" asked Wonshik.

"Yeah, I know them. My students talked about them pretty often, and I've listened to their songs too. But, what does it have to do with your store?" replied Taekwoon.

"Apparently, one of their members—Hoyoung, if I remember it correctly—said in a live stream that he likes to shop at our store. We've been getting more orders since then, that's why we need extra hands to help. But Daehyun-hyung has found several part-timers to help, so I can have more rest starting from next week," explained Wonshik.

"Again, you could always ask for my help. Seriously, Shik, are we boyfriends or not?" said Taekwoon. Wonshik snorted at that.

"Last time I asked you to help us at the warehouse, you complained about it being too hot and how our stuff are too heavy," teased Wonshik. Taekwoon pouted and stole one piece of meat from Wonshik's box as revenge.

"That was one time! And I didn't complain when I helped at the store!" protested Taekwoon.

"Yeah, because Inseob did basically everything and all you needed to do was to look handsome in our clothes," replied Wonshik with a smirk. Taekwoon stole another piece of meat as he glared at Wonshik.

"Next time, if you need help, talk to me. Maybe I can't help much, but I'm willing to, okay? Remember it well," said Taekwoon.

"I will," promised Wonshik. Taekwoon smiled widely, happy to know that their problem was solved.


—Or, not completely.

Taekwoon didn't know the actual reason why Wonshik didn't ask for his help, or why his patience was running thin that night. He didn't know that Wonshik was still hiding something from him, a huge something that was just a breath away from spilling all over the place. All it needed was a little push, and everything would snap.

That little push came from an untimely delivery to their apartment.

It was one of the days when both Taekwoon and Wonshik didn't have any schedule, so they simply lazed off at their apartment. As they were watching TV, their doorbell rang, and Taekwoon asked Wonshik to answer it since he was too lazy to stand up. Wonshik did as he was told to, while Taekwoon peeked to see who that was.

"Good afternoon, Sir. A delivery for Jung Taekwoon-nim from Velvet Box," said the deliveryman with a smile.

Hearing the store's name, Taekwoon quickly scrambled to his legs and ran to the door, pushing Wonshik aside to get his package.

"Yeah that's me, where do I sign?" asked Taekwoon. The deliveryman gave his tablet and stylus for Taekwoon to sign, then bid him goodbye with a bright smile. Taekwoon only gave him an awkward smile before closing the door in a hurry, forgetting that Wonshik was still there at the entryway since he almost slammed into him.

Hyung, what was that?” asked Wonshik.

, Taekwoon cursed internally. It was supposed to be a surprise. He had been meticulously planned the whole thing, and even specified for the package to be delivered the day after since Wonshik would have a schedule while Taekwoon didn’t. But with what’s already happening, he would have to improvise a bit.

“It’s just… something… something private,” said Taekwoon, cursing again internally about how he sounded like he had just bought something erted.

“Extremely private to the point that even I can’t receive it for you?” asked Wonshik again.

“Please just pretend that you’ve seen and heard nothing,” pleaded Taekwoon as the last straw. If Wonshik kept prodding him like that, he’s afraid that he’d babble it out.

Wonshik just chuckled and returned to the couch while shaking his head. “Okay. But if you bought something for Hakyeon-hyung, you know I can keep it secret. We barely even meet, so… your secret’s safe with me,” said Wonshik.

Taekwoon widened his eyes at the statement. Hakyeon? He couldn't understand why Wonshik mentioned his name like that.

"No, it has nothing to do with him," said Taekwoon truthfully. Wonshik snorted at that.

"Really? I mean, isn't that why you went with him to the jewelry store, looking at couple rings, and even ending up with a couple bracelets?" asked Wonshik, his voice sounded sarcastic in Taekwoon's ears it made his blood ran cold.

“I saw you last month. I had something to do around there, and I happened to see the two of you. I know I shouldn’t feel jealous, but I just can’t help it. You two looked so happy together and I can only feel jealousy.”

"Wonshik, it's not like that—"

"Not like what? Hyung, I'm not blind. And I've told you that I understand about the ed up situation we're involved in. I just—" Wonshik exhaled heavily, trying to blink away the tears threatening to fall from his eyes, "—I just hope that you'd give me a little warning, a little heads up so I can prepare myself."

"Wonshik, listen—"

"I can't do this. No, I can't wish for your happiness with him."

"Wonshik—"

"If you're not going to choose me, then please just break up with me, because I can't stand a day longer just being your soulmate's stand-in."

It was a mess.

They were a mess.

Wonshik had failed to contain his tears, letting them flowed freely on his cheeks. Meanwhile, Taekwoon was both confused and offended.

"Are you done with your monologue?" asked Taekwoon, probably a bit harsher than he intended to. But Wonshik didn't seem to notice the tone, too busy trying to stop himself from crying any longer. Still, he paid enough attention to nod at Taekwoon’s question.

"Now it's my turn to talk, and for you to listen. Yes, I did buy a matching bracelet with Hakyeon. But, no, it's not a couple bracelets. It is a friendship one; or at least that’s what the salesperson told us," explained Taekwoon.

"And the rings? This?" Taekwoon shook the box in his hand, "This isn't for him. For heaven's sake I've tried to make this as good as possible but screw it."

Unceremoniously, Taekwoon ripped the box open, digging into the package's cushion to retrieve a velvet box inside. He opened it and pulled the slightly bigger ring out, putting it on his palm for Wonshik to see.

"Your size. With my name engraved in it," said Taekwoon, before he took it and quickly grabbed Wonshik's hand to slide the ring to his ring finger. Wonshik was dazed, staring at Taekwoon blankly as he tried to process what was happening.

"This one is mine. See and read the name engraved in it," said Taekwoon as he held out the ring for Wonshik to take.

Hesitantly, Wonshik took it, then turned it in his fingers to see the engraving. As he saw the two characters, he began to cry again.

“It’s—it’s ‘Wonshik’… My name…” whispered Wonshik softly.

Taekwoon clasped his hands with Wonshik’s, then moved closer so that he could also rested their foreheads together.

“You’re not anyone’s stand-in. It took me a very long time to realize it too, but… I want to be with you. I want you in my life. Not just for now, not just until I find someone else, but forever,” whispered Taekwoon.

“But Hakyeon—”

“He is my soulmate, but he’s not the person I fell in love with. He’s a good person, but he’s not you,” cut Taekwoon before Wonshik even began to doubt himself.

“Am I… allowed to do this?” asked Wonshik slowly as he pushed himself away from Taekwoon to look at him more clearly, “To choose you, to be with you, despite knowing that I’m not destined for you?”

“ destiny. We’ve chosen each other; what’s so bad about it?” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled at Taekwoon’s crudeness, and Taekwoon couldn’t hold himself from kissing Wonshik when he’s being adorable like that.

“So, are you going to put that ring on me or not?” asked Taekwoon playfully as he glanced at the ring still sitting on Wonshik’s palm. Wonshik chuckled again, his lips as he took Taekwoon’s hand gently.

“Taekwoon, my beloved… The red strings might not tie us together, but I want to defy the destiny together with you,” said Wonshik as he slid the ring to Taekwoon’s ring finger. To seal it in place, he leaned down and kissed it tenderly. It made Taekwoon blushed hard, face going red to the tip of his ears.

“You ruined my perfect plan to propose you, and on top of that you still have the audacity to make it sound good on your side?” protested Taekwoon. Wonshik laughed apologetically.

“Stay here for a bit, I’ll make it up to you,” said Wonshik as he patted Taekwoon’s thigh and quickly stood, going into their bedroom. Taekwoon waited patiently as he stared down at the ring, still feeling the pleasant tingle from Wonshik’s kiss there.

Soon enough, Wonshik emerged with a long velvet box in his hand. He sat beside Taekwoon, then handed the box to him with a sheepish smile.

“This is the reason why I was around that jewelry store. I was supposed to give this to you last month, but… my feelings got the best of me. But now that everything is cleared, I think I should give this to you,” explained Wonshik. He gestured Taekwoon to go ahead and open it, and Taekwoon did.

There were a pair of diamond bracelets, along with a card that had the exact same line Wonshik said before on it.

It seemed that Taekwoon had unknowingly destroyed Wonshik’s plan on proposing to him too, and it made Taekwoon snorted really loudly.

“What do I do with these?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik shrugged.

“I don’t know, propose? What do you have in mind when you’re planning this?” replied Wonshik.

“There should be homemade food, flowers, Park Hyoshin’s song playing in the background—”

“I mean just the words. But you can keep the bracelet first if you want to do the homemade food and all that jazz,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon scrunched his face in annoyance but that only made Wonshik laughed at how cute he looked.

Taekwoon huffed, then took one of the bracelets and Wonshik’s hand. “People said, there’s only one person for you in a lifetime. I want to be that person for you, and you to be that person for me,” said Taekwoon as he secured the bracelet on Wonshik’s wrist. Then, following what Wonshik did before, he also placed a kiss there to secure it in place.

Wonshik took the other bracelet and clasped it around Taekwoon’s wrist as he replied, “I want that too, Hyung.”

They stared down at their rings and bracelets, then at each other, before breaking into a heartfelt laughter.


After the sudden proposal and some clarifications on the things happening between them, Wonshik finally agreed to let Taekwoon clung to him when they went to bed. It felt like forever since the last time Taekwoon held Wonshik so closely like that while they’re still awake, talking about nonsense and laughing at basically everything.

But when once again they touched the topic about soulmates, Wonshik made a confession.

“I actually have met my soulmate, face to face and all,” admitted Wonshik.

“What? When? Why didn’t you tell me about it?” asked Taekwoon demandingly. It was the first time for him to hear such thing.

“I don’t feel that I need to, until just now. I mean, we basically rejected each other the moment we met,” replied Wonshik nonchalantly.

“Still, when? Before or after Hakyeon?” asked Taekwoon.

“Far before. Remember when you called me during your service; the one when I asked you about the terms of our agreement? I asked because I’d just met my soulmate in the morning,” said Wonshik.

“And you still stubbornly waited for me, to the point you continuously lied to me about not having to meet your soulmate yet?” said Taekwoon.

“Like I said, we rejected each other the moment we met. His first words to me was ‘I have a boyfriend already’, and I replied, ‘Well I have a promise to keep with someone too right now’, and we just agreed that the whole meeting had never happened,” explained Wonshik.

There was a long silence, before Taekwoon slowly asked, “If… if you didn’t make that deal with me, would you still reject your soulmate and wait for me?”

“In a heartbeat,” replied Wonshik firmly. Taekwoon hit Wonshik hard, but he was also blushing like a boiled octopus at Wonshik’s quick answer.

“You, too. If we didn’t have that deal, and you’re not dating me when you met Hakyeon, would you date him instead?” asked Wonshik.

“Honestly? I don’t know. And I don’t want to think about it,” replied Taekwoon.

“Why?” asked Wonshik.

“Because we’re here together and I don’t care about any other situations,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik smiled at that, looking like he was close to crying again, so Taekwoon closed their distance and kissed him softly.

“You can take all of me. It’s alright,” murmured Taekwoon. This time, it’s Wonshik who surged forward, holding Taekwoon even closer.

“I know that know,” whispered Wonshik in return.

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Mewchan11 #1
Chapter 1: This was one of the best wontaek fanfic i have ever read! Thank you for this! It was the best ❤
taekwonmeover
#2
I was worried about how this might end but it was really excellent, im glad i read it! I love the way wontaek fought and loved, so realistic and interesting to read, and the soulmate relationship was lovely too. Ty author-nim!
FoxyVixx #3
Chapter 1: I admit that I was a bit scared at first to read this story because I was scared of Wonshik or Hakyeon having their heart broken and all the angst that could go with it but now I'm so happy to have read it, it was so lovely~ I really like the dynamics of the couple and of the soulmates, they are so cute and understanding!
TheHaeToHerHyuk
#4
Chapter 1: Just found this story! So sweet. I love it!
hanistar99 #5
Chapter 1: It's so sweet T.T