This story came out way too light and simple, but I hope you'll like it anyway♥ It's non-AU, but some events/things might've changed for the sake of the plot~^^

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Donghae never was a person to get worried easily.

Yes, he’s always been emotional, yet it was so not like him to get anxious over things, especially if he had no power to change anything. He never got worried as a kid during his exams at school, wasn’t really worried when he was about to be auditioned to SM, didn’t really panic about his first stage, and so on. Of course he felt that small nervousness, but his excitement has always been bigger. He wasn’t that type of person who will focus on negativity overall; he loved sharing positive emotions and feelings only, so he tried to avoid all the bad things in this world if possible. Anxiety was one of them.

However, nowadays… there were so many things Donghae was now anxious about.

He didn’t know why, didn’t know where that insecurity was coming from. It simply was there, haunting him at nights, making the guy wake up from his nightmares feeling scared due to the fact he’s alone. It could appear when he was talking to people he barely knew, making the brunette feel numb and lost, leaving him with no words to say. And that anxiety also followed him on the stage.

He loved his fans. He loved his fans so much, he genuinely wanted to be with them as much as possible – he kept doing those YouTube lives only to talk to them, tried to communicate with them. But just as much as he loved them, he was scared of them.

If someone asked him why, he wouldn’t be able to answer. Maybe he was afraid to disappoint them by making a mistake? Maybe he was afraid they’ll stop loving him if he won’t do more than he’s doing now? Maybe there were a few more reasons for him to feel this way? He honestly didn’t know and he didn’t know how to change the way he felt.

Donghae was blessed with good, wonderful friends who also happened to be s.

He could go over at Hyukjae’s place at night if he felt too anxious to stay alone. After some nagging, the latter would still let him in and then they’d spend time together, chatting and laughing, or maybe even sleeping. Hyukjae always was here for Donghae, and that was absolutely mutual.

If the brunette struggled to find words to say, Leeteuk or Heechul always were here to help him, to encourage him. They didn’t mock him, but were really supportive and understanding; Donghae couldn’t wish for better treatment.

And overall everyone in Super Junior was here for him whenever he needed. That was their rule: to help each other. Just like members didn’t let him feel lonely and left out, Donghae also always has been doing his best in helping them. Sharing their moments of joy, supporting when they were down. That was their rule. They’ve always been here for each other.

But just like every person, they had something that sometimes made them not able to help Donghae.

Personal life.

Well, everybody needs some ‘me time’, right? The brunette wasn’t an exception; it’s just that perhaps he needed it a bit… less than others. Even Yesung, known for not being able to stand loneliness for long, somehow ended up wanting more time he could spend alone with himself, and Donghae felt a bit… unwanted. Yes, maybe talking on the phone for hours was too much even for him, but he never was against their meetings and stuff.

But yeah. Members couldn’t be there for him 24/7. Or so he thought.

“You know you can call me any time, right?” the brunette remembers Siwon asking all of a sudden when they were sitting in the car beside each other. The man put his phone aside and now was looking at his co-member, waiting for an answer.

“Of course,” Donghae replied with a smile. “Same goes for you, and you know it.”

“I don’t think you get it…” Siwon cleared his throat, trying to find right words; talking about something like this wasn’t the strongest side of his. Yes, even perfect Choi Siwon was not the best at something, how surprising. Even more surprising than the fact even his own members thought he was 100% cool, ‘made of cool material’, as they said. Somehow… it’s always been Donghae who could say things like ‘it’s okay to not be the best in something – you’re human, after all’. He was one of those rare people who never forgot that yes, Siwon was only human. And he also needed some reassurance in his life, and it was only natural for him to not be perfect in everything. Donghae was among those rare people who never expected too much from him, and now the man wanted to show him that support he deserved. Apparently the brunette thought no one noticed his change of behavior, but they did. Siwon did. And he wanted to help him. “You can call me anytime. Literally. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is, doesn’t matter if I’m abroad or in Korea, doesn’t matter whether I’m busy or not. Just call me. I really don’t mind.”

Donghae’s eyes widened. Well, that was quite unexpected, Siwon would be surprised to hear something like that as well, but what was done is done now. He couldn’t change a thing, and well, it’s not like he really wanted to.

“Won’t it be a bit… inconvenient?” the brunette asked, and Siwon couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

‘He didn’t even think about refusing my offer,’ the man thought. ‘Is it that appealing for him?’

Donghae really didn’t even think about refusing. He didn’t want to think about reasons why the man did this, didn’t want to think about anything, he just wanted to go for it. When someone offers something like this… won’t it be too silly to not accept it?

“It will be okay,” Siwon said eventually. “I offered it knowing what I’m talking about. So yeah, go ahead. I mean everything I said.”

It didn’t take long for the softest smile to appear on Donghae’s face, and the man in front of him could swear he never knew someone whose smile was brighter, wider and looked more beautiful than Donghae’s one. He shook his head slightly. Weird thoughts. But somehow he never was able to not think about this guy that way. It was too hard not to.

“Thank you,” the brunette said, resting his head on his friend’s shoulder while smiling gratefully. “You’re very, very kind. The best! As expected, our Siwon is the best.”

Siwon chuckled. Those were the only moments when Donghae allowed himself to say the man is the best.

And yes. It was impossible to not be fond of that guy.

***

It started just like that; Donghae calling him whenever he felt the need to talk to someone, Donghae reaching for Siwon’s hand whenever he needed someone to support him, Donghae spending most of his time with the man. Yes, that simple.

They never talked about what bothered the guy as he wasn’t the type to complain. Always being afraid to burden someone, Donghae often refused to admit he’s actually sick, and that was Siwon who had to say something like ‘Okay, let’s take a small break’ on rehearsals when he noticed his friend is running out of breath because, for example, his nose was blocked and he couldn’t breathe properly. It was Siwon who reminded him to eat – Donghae was very careful when it came to things like his health, but he was easily distracted, so he ended up with empty tummy pretty often which was unhealthy for sure – and it was the man who, yes, spent most of his time with him as well.

That became so natural for them. Being together often. Hyukjae has been getting more offers for his individual activity, and so Donghae was left without one of his besties far more often. Someone could’ve thought Siwon was nothing but replacement, however, it’s never been like that.

Because Donghae’s relationship with Siwon never was the same as his relationship with Hyukjae.

“Working out after rehearsal?” Leeteuk asked with a clear surprise while sipping water from the bottle. “Oh, I envy you. I feel so worn out; barely can move after this.”

Siwon smiled, continuing packing his bag – there were two sets of clothes: the one he rehearsed in just now and the one he was about to wear in gym.

“Donghae wanted us to go there; he wasn’t able to exercise for a while and now is dying to spend some good time in gym. Wonder if he even gets tired.”

Short pause followed before the leader spoke, “You’ve been taking a good care of Donghae lately.”

“Guess so. Why?”

Once their eyes met, Siwon somehow felt ashamed. He didn’t know the reason why, but the way Leeteuk was looking at him and his knowing smile made things… a bit awkward.

“Nothing. Just glad you’re spending good time together,” was all he said.

It’s not like they never did. Siwon and Donghae have been friends for ages… it’s just that after realizing something clearly was off about the guy the man decided he can’t pretend he didn’t notice. He only wanted to help. And then everything happened just… naturally. They started spending more time together, started talking often. Yeah, it’s not like things have changed drastically… but they have changed for sure.

Siwon never knew he could discover his friend again and again after so many years they’ve spent together. He never knew he could start feeling… differently towards him.

He never knew he will feel something towards man that will be so hard to admit even in front of himself.

***

No one expected something like this to happen.

Well, it’s not like someone saw them, but the two involved in this action didn’t expect it either.

Okay, back to the day.

It’s been a fine, maybe a bit chilly day. Super Junior were heading to the airport and things were like they always used to be. Long road by car to the airport. Fans waiting for them there to take pictures. Members chatting with each other. Siwon and Donghae being glued to each other as well.

They entered the airport with the taller man hugging the guy’s shoulders; no one even found it weird, that was a usual thing to happen between members, especially if one of them was Donghae.

What was unusual is the brunette getting stiff once they were surrounded by their staff and fans. A lot of fans. Really a lot of fans.

It just happened to be that they were both getting newbies among their staff and travelling as a whole group, so it was really crowded here. And for some reason it made Donghae feel a bit… uneasy. There were many people he didn’t know and even more fans. He was