Title: A man who hasn’t been the one of your dreams

Pairing(s): Yunjae

Rating: PG 13/15

Genre: Romance, Drama

Length: Two-shot

Summary: Yunho knows that staying close Jaejoong wasn’t the wisest decision but he loves everything of him, even when he never expected finding someone like him. Jaejoong isn’t his dream but a painful and beautiful reality.

 

A Man Who Hasn’t Been the One of Your Dreams

“Excuse me, Sir, we’re about to close.”

“Don’t worry; could you bring me the check, please?”

Yunho watches as the waiter walks away and checks for a last time his phone with the unanswered messages he sent and thinks about how pointless would be to try to call again. He sighs, it’s not the first time the other one stood him up but for some reason he was really hopeful Jaejoong wouldn’t forget about this date. He pays the check and leaves the table where the food remains almost untouched taking with him the unopened bottle of wine.

During his way to their house he thinks that at that precise moment he could be partying with his friends and instead he’s going home after being left waiting once again.

Just arriving home he smells the strong odor of nail polish.

"You're home!" A joyful voice receives him, "I was wondering what took you so long."

Yunho looks at him. Jaejoong is wearing only an old big shirt and his underwear still wearing the make-up he uses these days cause he's on an "emo-rocker-stage" as he uses to say.

"I called you. Why you didn't answer..."

"Oh... was it you? Well, you'll see, I was trying new design for nails and-"

"Your nails are still black."

"Of course, silly. You know I never try them on me. Why do you think I have so many artificial nails? Who knows. Maybe if I get tired of my job someday, I could be the personal stylist of a gorgeous idol and taking care of everything related to her or his appearance and-" Jaejoong stops seeing the expression on the other's face. "What's wrong, Yunho?"

"So you forgot that we had a dinner date."

"Oh, ... the dinner!" Jaejoong says looking guilty, "I- why you didn't remind me! You should-"

"Well, I tried, but you were too busy designing for fake nails like to answering my calls let alone my messages..."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't mind it. It's not like it was the first time you left me waiting like an idiot, anyway."

"Hey! You know that I'm terrible to remembering appointments and-"

"I know, it's just- nevermind."

"We can go for dinner any other day though..."

"What about next year? After all, I have a birthday every year and celebrating it every single year is so overrated." Yunho says with a grimace of annoyance.

"Today is your... birthday?"

"Forget it... oh wait! You already did."

"Yunho..."

"I'll be at my study. I have a lot of pending work so... see you tomorrow I guess."

With that, Yunho leaves the living room of their rented house and go to his study where he locks the door and takes his jacket off. He doesn't want to think about the dinner or feel depressed anymore so he distracts himself with his work, sadly he didn't lie, he has a lot.

Around one hour and a half later, Jaejoong knocks the door.

"I told you I was going to be busy. Go to sleep already!"

The knock is heard again for all answer, and again and again, till it's clear for Yunho that Jaejoong isn't going anywhere.

He opens the door and a smiling Jaejoong, wearing almost the same clothes he had when Yunho arrived home except for a now stainless shirt, stays at the lintel holding a small cake and lighting the bear shaped candle on the top.

"Too late," Yunho says looking at his watch, "my birthday ended half an hour ago."

"Not in America, that's why I'm going to sing for you in English," is the answer and Jaejoong starts to sing smiling. He stops for a moment to say: "I learned it in Spanish too."

Yunho watches while Jaejoong is singing in the two languages trying his best to suppress the smile fighting to surface.

Once he's finished singing and making Yunho blow the candle, Jaejoong enters the room and puts the cake on the desk taking two spoons out of his shirt pocket.

"Try it, it's really sweet," he says tasting a spoonful of the cake.

"Jaejoong, I have work to do besides-"

Yunho is caught off guard so he receives the kiss stunned. "See? Sweet!"

This time the taller one can't hold his laughter and both end finishing the little cake, Yunho sitting on his swivel chair and Jaejoong comfortably sat on the desk.

"Shouldn't you have bought me a gift?"

"There is a gift," Jaejoong says wickedly and takes out a red ribbon from who knows where and puts it over his head.

At that moment, the birthday guy doesn't care that the ribbon is in fact one of his most expensive ties and forgets everything about it, once the other is straddling him and kissing him. He kisses back caressing the other across the spine till the lower end.

"You're really thin."

"Seriously? You have this gorgeous creature -without any make-up, I removed all- on your legs and all you can say is that I'm thin?" Jaejoong looks at him in disbelief.

"Sorry," says Yunho kissing the pout on the other's lips, "but you have lost a lot of weight and I'm getting worried."

"My bony hips hurt you when we're doing it?"

"Oh gosh, it's not like that. I want you full of health. I'm afraid you'll get sick if you continue like this."

"It's just that we've been with the new project at the gallery so I forget everything at work and at home, I don't feel hungry when I'm alone..."

"Sorry, I promise I'm going to come home earlier so we can eat together." Yunho kisses Jaejoong's neck making him giggle.

"If I gain a lot of weight and I'm a lovely ball of meat, you won't like me anymore?"

"First, I wouldn't allow you to get there, second, of course I'll still like you no matter what."

"If it was like that, then I could just lay there and you could ride me," Jaejoong winks and wets his lips with his tongue. "I could get used to it, but you'll have problems if I want it the other way," he laughs and hugs Yunho that's laughing too.

"Even when I'd love to unwrap my present now, I really have a lot of work."

Jaejoong furrows his eyebrows and purses his lips. "Can I wait here then?"

"Yeah, if you want to."

"Okay." Jaejoong says relaxing and accommodating his bottom better still on Yunho's lap amused by the other's expression, "that's why I asked 'here'," he chuckles and takes a book from the desk, "this chair is not going to break, right?"

"If it didn't break two weeks ago when we spent some 'quality time' here... I think it'll resist," Yunho says teasingly recalling the scene of Jaejoong laying on his desk making the other smile.

"For real?" Jaejoong asks showing Yunho the cover of the book he took where it can be read 'Kamasutra' with golden letters.

Yunho tries to grab the book while his cheeks are tinting red, "It's a prank gift from the guys..."

Jaejoong avoids the grip and takes a look amused, "we could try page fifteen and of course we'll be doing page twenty-two."

Yunho stops struggling and just chuckles. They are working and reading in silence after, and Yunho doesn't lose the chance to nuzzle Jaejoong's hair or giving him kisses at the side of his face from time to time making the man on his lap giggle and giggling himself too every time Jaejoong does the same to him.

At three in the morning Yunho does his best to cover Jaejoong's back and legs with the blanket he uses when he takes a nap break during his work time there. He realized Jaejoong was sleeping over his shoulder after hearing the book falling to the floor with a thud. It's nice to be like this, sharing that intimacy and he wishes they could be like that always not just in the moments stolen to Jaejoong's sleep.

"Jaejoongie, let's go to sleep. It's five in the morning."

Jaejoong looks at him drowsy noticing that he's on Yunho's arms already at the door of the study heading to his bedroom. He has his arms and legs wrapped around the neck and waist of the other.

"Did you finish? Can we go make love already?"

"Yea, I finished," Yunho says smiling and kissing the tip of his nose, "but I have to be at the office in two hours."

"To hell with the office! I want to make love. You can't go without unwrapping your gift!" Jaejoong says and Yunho's earlobe eliciting a groan from him.

"You're going to kill me..."

Jaejoong laughs throwing his head back and feeling Yunho nipping at the sensitive skin of his throat.

Yunho knows he's going to be late again but he can't refuse any wish to the man laying on his bed now whose gaze is burning his being. He touches him and adores every gesture, every reaction and he can't help but to think again how wonderful it could be to be like this always, in complete harmony one with the other.

----------o----------

The living room is totally messy; Jaejoong had a storm of ideas last night that usually ends with him causing a whirlwind in his path.

Said man appears yawning and stretching his arms looking so adorable that Yunho totally forgets his intention of scolding him and keeps tidying up the place in silence.

"I'm going to watch the movie Chun lent me the other day, lazy Saturdays are the best," Jaejoong says going to sit on the couch finishing drinking his coffee when he's back from the kitchen.

"My mom and my sister are coming. It'll be a short visit. They want to hug me for my birthday it seems," Yunho says rubbing the back of his neck while Jaejoong stops midway on eating his toast. "I said that they shouldn't worry as it was two weeks ago but I want to see them too. My sister is going to a school fair in another city and they have a stopover here so-"

"I have to go." Jaejoong stands up suddenly leaving his mug and his toast over the just cleaned up coffee table.

"Didn't you say you were going to watch a movie at home?"

"Yes, but... I forgot I have something really urgent at the gallery."

"You forgot something urgent?"

Jaejoong doesn't answer. He just rushes upstairs and comes back ready to leave five minutes after. He carefully avoids looking at Yunho's eyes.

"Then you're leaving for real..."

"Please tell them I say 'Hello'. Work. You know how it is."

"I know," Yunho says when there's already no one in the house to hear him. He sighs and prepares to receive his family alone trying his best to ignore the hurt he's feeling.

----------

"Yunho... Yunho?" Jaejoong enters the house expecting to find Yunho watching TV on the living room but the room is in darkness as expected at nine in the night. He finally finds him in the kitchen putting some plates back in the cupboard. "I bought pizza for dinner!" He says joyfully, "I ordered your favorite."

"I'm not hungry, my mom cooked my favourite dishes, so I already ate."

Jaejoong puts the pizza's box in front of the other, "I'm sorry, I didn't think it'd take me so long."

"Forget it," Yunho says checking inside the box, "this is your favorite. You don't know anything about me..."

"Yunho..."

"Sorry, I'm tired... I'm going to my room... you should do the same."

Yunho leaves and Jaejoong stays there in the same spot for a long moment before leaving the pizza on the table untouched and going to his own bedroom to keep thinking.

----------o----------

Another Saturday night, Jaejoong sits comfortably on the sofa holding a plate full of fresh popcorn.

"You really won't go, right?"

"I told you, this is the last episode. I can't miss it."

"You could record it." Yunho sits next to Jaejoong. "Last night you told me you'd go."

"Last night I was so lost into what you were doing with your tongue..." Jaejoong pauses to get a hold of Yunho's hair and kisses him deeply, "...that I could barely remember my own name let alone that today it was the last episode..." Yunho looks at him dazed. "I rather stay at home and watch my TV show than going to a noisy club. But have fun."

"The girls are going to be there too..."

"Girls? Which girls? You didn't mention any girl."

"I told you my friends will go and they arrived to the city two days ago. I haven't seen them in a while and-"

"Friends as in guy-friends not girl-friends," Jaejoong says sounding uneasy, "jeez, it's hard to know with a bi."

"Girls can be my friends too."

"Any of them is your ex?"

"No, they're just my friends and," Yunho says caressing his cheek, "I wanted to introduce you to them."

"Sorry, I-"

"Okay, I get it," Yunho says sighing and he's still sad when he gets out of the house.

----------

The place is really nice, they're in a very comfortable private booth catching up with all the time they haven't seen each other. The three girls bought a cake for all of them so they can have a belated birthday celebration for Yunho, but the man is sulking and all the friends notice it.

"We haven't seen each other in three years and you're here looking like someone has just stolen your candy," Yoona says taping Yunho's forehead. "Spill it. What is it? You can tell me now that Yeon and Yeol are in the bathroom."

"Uh? No, nothing. It's just..."

"I'll tell you, but let's wait for the girls coming back."

"Heechul..."

"Sorry, Yunho. Maybe they can help us to solve your mess." Their other friends seems to agree with that statement.

Yunho doesn't say more. It could be useful after all, listening to his friends point of view, till now, the guys couldn't succeed on giving him light about what to do in his situation.

Once everybody is sitting around the table again, the four men and three women look at Yunho expectant.

"So..."

"For God's sake. You're not going to tell them, are you? Well I'll do it then."

"It's not like I don't want to tell them but... It's kind of embarrassing..."

"Okay then," Jun continues ignoring Yunho, "you know he works in this important company with a rich-assed boss... well this boss of his had this brilliant idea of redecorating their Auditory and formed some 'commissions' -yea, like when we were at school-, so our boy led the 'art commission' and that's how he ended at the gallery of art Jaejoong works in-"

"Who's Jaejoong?" Asks Yeol intrigued.

"His housemate," Heechul says.

"You're living with your boyfriend?" Yoona asks excited.

"Could you please let Jun finish the story?"

"Sorry..." the girls say ready to keep listening while side-eyeing Yunho.

"Then Jaejoong helped him, them in fact, with the redecoration and they became friends after, you know, going to eat or for drinks or for a walk once in a while and they grow closer. There's the detail of course, that our friend was head over heels for this guy..."

"He still is," Changmin shows them his phone with a picture of Jaejoong and Yunho with them on a club taken some time ago, where it's obvious the look of adoration Yunho is directing to the other man.

"Oh, well... he's gorgeous. I can't blame our Yunho for being infatuated for him unless he's a jerk. He's not, right?"

"Of course not, he's just... perfect." Yunho sighs running his fingers through his hair. "And I'm not infatuated. I'm in love with him. I love him. I love everything about him but-"

"Wait! We didn't get to that part yet." Jun says annoyed, "and you wait, girls, you have to know everything before making that 'aaaw' faces." He sips his drink before continuing. "They were hanging out often, calling, texting and all of that, till one day Jaejoong came with the news that his dreamed house was on sale or rent. He couldn't afford not even the rent at that moment, then our boy came with the brilliant idea of a shared rent. You'll see, his own leasing contract was about to expire and then he thought it would be great living together with his platonic love. The first night they moved in their new house and after we left -thank goodness- they had for the first time..."

"Then you're in a relationship or just sleeping together?"

"Are you going to let me finish or you prefer imagining the rest of the story?"

"I'm sorry, please continue. Why are you so moody?"

"He was dumped a week ago, that's why he's being so y."

Jun laughs bitterly, "anyways, that's how Yunho got engaged in this situation."

“Then, you’re a thing?” Yeon interrupts once again.

“No, they’re not. They just have .”

“But if they’re sleeping together then-”

“They’re not. They just have . Each one has his own bedroom and as soon as it’s done, Jaejoong goes to his own bedroom. How do we know? We stayed once after a barbecue and they couldn’t stay away from the other but we got to see Jaejoong sneaking to his own room and asking Yunho later we knew that that’s something he always does.”

“And Yunho suffers for that reason because he’s beyond the point when he can be okay with just a physical relationship with this guy,” Heechul adds looking to his friend that feels so ashamed that is hiding his face between his arms over the table.

“Obviously Jaejoong likes Yunho, otherwise I don’t think he could enroll in this sort of arrangement they have but, that’s far from how our friend would like things to be,” Changmin says patting his friend's nape.

“If you could help us to make some common sense in his head, that would be really great.” Jun lights a cigarette, “He’s been really stubborn and I don’t know what he’s waiting for. Jaejoong always forgets when they have a date or maybe he didn’t even care, he runs away from his family like they were the pest and rarely agrees to go out with us.”

“Four months ago they celebrated a year living in that house, better said, Yunho celebrated their ‘first anniversary’,” the air quotes Tae makes while talking pierce Yunho’s pride even more, “and he fill the entrance hallway of their house with many bouquets of red roses, you know this kind of thing I’d do it for my girlfriend too and I helped him even when I think it’s more a girls thing. When this guy arrived he didn’t say ‘thanks’ or ‘nice’ not even ‘a year already’, he said ‘I hate red roses, this is so-’. I didn’t let him finish, I mean, I myself felt bad for that, but it’s understandable as for Jaejoong this kind of thing doesn’t have the same meaning as it has for Yunho.”

“Oh, Yunho…”

“I know, believe me, I know but… I love him. I really love his personality, how brave and funny he is, how he’s able to brighten my day with only his smile and-”

“Well, girls, I think you know pretty much how ed up our friend is and that’s why we-”

“I understand you,” Yeol says glaring at Jun to move and sits next to Yunho. “Among all of us, I don’t think there’s anyone else that can understand you better than me.”

Yunho looks at her defeated; he knows very well that having an unrequited love for so long and worse, living together with that person is going to end really badly.

“I had a friend too.”

“What?! No way!” Changmin says earning a death glare from her.

“Why not? Women too can have before they get married, you know? And not only with their future spouse.”

“Of course I know that! Otherwise I’d still be a , but I’m surprised because you were the one who scolded me the most when I had an only- relationship with the librarian at university.”

“That was because she had a gigantic crush on you so she thought that you were an for showing off about your affair.”

“Is that so?” Changmin asks dumbfounded and the other guys don’t look any less perplexed.

“Long time ago,” Yeol says drinking her cocktail in one go.

“Well… I’m single right now…”

Yeol raises an eyebrow and smirks, “Let’s talk about that later.”

The table burst in laughter because Changmin, the always secure man, is blushing till the ears. Yeol certainly has changed a lot from the shy girl they met when they were studying looking at them with a scowl every time any of them skipped classes.

“What was I saying?” Yeol says happy that Yunho was laughing too leaving even for a moment his gloomy mood. “I met this guy in a party that my boss organized and it was instant attraction, you know the kind of thing that fogs your mind. We went out for a short period of time and ended involved in a not string attached relationship, only , you know…” she sighs, “I knew that was all it was but I fell in love. I can’t say I didn’t know how or when because I realized every little change in my heart and he noticed too. He’s neither blind nor stupid like not noticing how infatuated I was. I wanted to be with him, that’s why when he suggested to rent an apartment for our encounters I agreed immediately, it was almost like having a love nest for me instead of the place that it really was. One day when he was about to leave the apartment he said ‘I met someone, she’s amazing’. I know I should have done something to at least have a dignified exit but I loved him so I stayed, hearing to his unending praises for this woman after we had just ed and it hurt but it hurt me more to think I could lose the little I had back then…”

“She was being stupidly stubborn,” Yoona says, “what you say about Yunho is like a Déjà vu.”

“I was awfully scared of the day that he would tell me that we had to end our ‘relationship’. When it came, I managed to act almost indifferently but I know he knew it was all a masquerade and he used me -and I left him- a last time and while he was putting his clothes on to leave he was talking about the purity of his future bride. Then I knew he had made me his mistress and I got furious, it was a totally different thing of being with him when he was single. They were going to get married in less than a month. The next time I went to the apartment I noticed he took away all his things leaving behind just a few. I was broken…”

“And she became ugly the day of the wedding,” Yoona says huffing.

“Ugly?”

“Yeah. You’ll see, of course this jerk didn’t hand her an invitation, that would have been the height of insolence, but we planned on going anyway, we wanted to at least making him nervous and all. But when Yeon and I were already waiting for her near the church she called us and she was already ugly. How? She took some scissors and cut her hair and not just some locks, she cut her hair till she was bald in some places. The only way we could fix it was shaving her head.”

“At least I didn’t cut myself,” Yeol says and her friends glare at her. “I had to wear wigs but now,” she says signaling her head, “new hair, and new life.”

“We helped her to end the leasing contract. It was hard; we made a sort of purification ritual even, with a fire at the beach and burnt all the things he left behind at the apartment.”

“There are things I did I’m not proud of,” Yeol says, “that people say about love and sacrifice is all bull. It's scary how selfish an unrequited love can make you act. At least for me, I couldn’t bring myself to vow for his eternal happiness, all the contrary, while I was burning his things I wished he could experience a half of what it was hurting me. He’s an excellent architect and I could have helped him to get at least three new contracts but I chose not to. I mixed work with personal issues and when I got to know that he was getting divorced because his wife slept with her boss I was happy even if it was for just a moment before realizing how wrong it was. Two months ago he contacted me again wanting to see me again asking me to have a real relationship this time that’s when I realized I was over him, but it was painfully slow, Yunho. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to arrive to your house one day to find him excited because he met someone great and still hold on to the last trace of hope that he can love you back. That’s not life; you can’t live of delusions…”