It was Friday night.

 

Wendy dragged her steps, walking through the crowded road which was full of youngsters who dressed up for the evening out. Her mother had always encouraged her to live her life, go out, and have more fun. That was probably what had gotten her into this situation.

 

Was her dullness so apparent that her own mother pushed her to do things that other parents had probably wished their children to do less?

 

She sighed, handing the bouncer her ID (she swore this happened all the time, which most likely not the case for other twenty-seven old adults), then make her way into the club before that big bearded guy threw more suspecting glances towards her.

 

Of course, she couldn’t blame it entirely on her mother. Wendy could also just say no when her sweet and kind colleague asked her to join in. But that’s where the problem laid. She was unnecessarily horrible in giving out rejection.

 

The place was loud, some EDM music blasting from the speakers (Surprise, Wendy, it’s a freaking club). She made her way passed through the dance floor, going up the stairs like what she was told to do. Wendy looked around the bar until she spotted a woman waving at her from one of the booths near it.

 

“Wendy!”

 

She walked towards the said person, accepting the hug the other quickly engulfed her in.

 

“I’m glad that you decided to join us today!” Rosé exclaim happily, her hand now linked to her right arm. “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

 

Wendy quickly put on her best smile, trying to not ruin her first impression on the bunch of strangers now looking at her expectantly.

 

“This is Johnny from the Marketing Department—” Rosé pointed at a guy with a navy sweater with white collar,

 

“Amber from Supply Chain—” a girl with a white tee underneath the outer black biker jacket beside Johnny,

 

“and Mark from HR,” the last guy, whose brown hair was styled neatly to the back.

 

“Everyone, this is Wendy. She just joined us at the beginning of this week.” Rosé suddenly handed her a glass of beer. “Okay, let’s cheer for Wendy for becoming a part of the team!”

 

Everyone cheered, “to Wendy!” and clucked their glasses. Wendy thanked them, gulping her own drink.

 

(It was one of her new company policies to use English names - to eradicate excessive hierarchy inside the company - instead of their position titles, which was pretty rare in the country. Wendy was pretty surprised that their English named carried on unto their after-hours hang out.)

 

Not long after, the group launched a series of questions to get to know her better. “Wait, so you’re from Canada too?” Mark asked excitedly. “That’s cool! I’m from Vancouver. I was born in Toronto, but I later moved.”

 

“I actually went to Canada for my bachelor's degree,” Wendy elaborated. “I went to High School in Minnesota, but before that, I grew up mainly in Seoul.”

 

“Ah, that’s exactly the opposite for me! I return to Korea in the first year of high school. That must be why we’ve been missing each other until now,” Mark concluded cheerfully. (Wendy had to stop herself from telling her new acquaintance that they had theoretically slim chance to have met even if Wendy went to Canada sooner or vice versa, but hey, the guy was just trying to be nice.)

 

After a few more questions directed towards her (and realising that there’s nothing much in Wendy’s life), the conversation then continued into random topics. Currently, Johnny and Amber had started to go into a debate whether console gaming should be considered a valid gaming platform or not, with the other three could only watch at the sideline without being able to offer any insightful input.

 

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to come here, Wendy thought. Her new colleagues seemed to be cool people, and Rosé had kept checking on her, making sure that she wouldn’t feel left out in any way.

 

Mark had a slip of the tongue with his mention of Star Trek, which made Johnny and Amber forget about their previous clash and immediately ganging up on the poor Canadian, arguing that Star Wars was a better series. Wendy wanted to help Mark, but her knowledge of the field was minimal, and that anything remotely close she had watched about the topic was probably Wall-E back in high school. The heated conversation was halted when two new figures joined them into their booth.

 

“I’m so sorry that we’re late,” one of the women said, “I didn’t know that the meeting was going to take that long.”

 

“Jennie!” Rosé stood up and pulling the other to a hug, “it’s okay. I’m glad you made it.”

 

Wendy shifted uncomfortably on her seat. She was just starting to get the hang of it with the whole thing, and the prospect of having to repeat her awkward past to the new people was not something she looked forward to doing. She took a glance towards the women who had just come. Wendy gulped, a bit surprised by how beautiful the newcomers were (did the company only hired beautiful people and why was that not applied to her?) until she finally got a proper look at the woman behind Jennie.

 

Wait, isn’t she…

 

“Ah. Girls, this is Wendy. And Wendy, this is Jennie and Irene,” Rosé helpfully introduced.

 

Wendy tried to shake off her thoughts, bowing to the two. She tried to gauge Irene’s reaction to seeing her, trying to see if the other’s eyes would show any sign of recognition towards Wendy. But the girl only shot her a small polite smile before making her way to one of the seats.

 

Mark took his chance to get out of the Star Wars vs. Star Trek fiasco, taking it to himself to tell Jennie and Irene about Wendy’s story. Rosé chirped in once in a while, and both of them made Wendy’s life not as dull. They were probably just a better storyteller than her.

 

Wendy was not completely focused on the retelling of her past. Not when her actual past might be in front of her. Wendy took her glass and gulped down her beer to cool herself down. Well, not her past, that was too dramatic of her. It was just that Irene disturbingly reminded her of one of her friends in middle school.

 

Oh, you know. One of those oblivious crushes you had when you’re young and only to realise that they were your crush when you grew up later on.

 

Rosé pulled on her sleeve, looking at her worriedly when she finally got Wendy’s attention. “Are you okay? You look a bit off,” she whispered only loud enough for the both of them.

 

Wendy quickly turned and nodded. “Yeah. I was just… nothing. I’m fine.”

 

Amber and Johnny had gotten themselves into a new topic of debate. “I bet I can beat your on the dance floor,” Amber flashed a smirk, taunting the tall guy.

 

“Oh, game on, woman,” Johnny took off his jacket, standing up and started stretching, warming up for the battle he had been challenged on. Mark and Jennie excitedly stood up too, wanting to watch how the duel would go down.

 

Rosé looked a bit hesitant, and Wendy caught on it. “You should go and watch too,” Wendy encouraged, “I’ll be fine here. Don’t worry.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Wendy shot Rosé her most reassuring smile. “Yes. Go now.”

 

It took a few more persuasions to get Rose to go down one floor to where her other friends were going. She had to promise Rose that she would call her anytime she needed her.

 

It didn’t take Rosé two steps away, and Wendy was already tempting the phone call. Nobody told her that Irene would stay behind too. She was seriously grinding her mind to come up with excuses like going to the restroom or suddenly immigrating to Zimbabwe (two extreme polar ideas but hey, whatever works for getting her away from being stuck with Irene) when her cause of distress started up a polite conversation.

 

“How are you finding the company so far?” Irene asked, letting out a small smile only made Wendy’s heart beating even faster.

 

Wendy cleared her dry throat. “It’s great,” she replied, “The people are nice.”

 

Irene nodded, agreeing with her opinion. “Yeah. That they are.”

 

The both of them fell into another silence (with club music blasting through the speakers, so not so quiet, but Wendy was too occupied to mind the loud noises) with Wendy shifting uncomfortably, busying her mind to find another mundane topic to continue the conversation.

 

“I have a question,” Irene interjected before she could think of one, “and it might seem strange. But… which middle school did you go to? It’s just… you remind me so much to…”

 

She remembers her?

 

“Hello Joohyun,” she said, grinning awkwardly.

 

“Seungwan.” Irene’s eyes widened, probably still in dazed that she met someone from a decade ago. “Wait. You knew? Since when?”

 

Wendy cleared . “From the moment we met?” She offered meekly, rubbing the back of her neck. She suddenly felt like she needed to explain herself. “Well, you look…”

 

Still as beautiful.

 

“…the same as you are back then.”

 

Irene was now smiling, standing up to sit next to her. Damn it, what kind of perfume does this girl use, and why does it smell so nice? “Why didn’t you say anything?” Irene asked.

 

Wendy cleared again (she probably had to check it to the doctor by this time, why was it so dry?) before she tried to come up with a reason. “I thought that…”

 

“What?” Irene said, not letting the topic go even when words seemed to be stuck Wendy’s throat (Probably that’s what hurting it so much).

 

“That you wouldn’t remember me,” she finally finished, way too honest that she planned to.

 

Thankfully, Irene didn’t pick up the insecurities on Wendy’s voice. “How could I not? You basically saved me from failing physics in eight grade,” Irene cheerfully reminded her, her hand suddenly on top of Wendy’s palm.

 

Yup, still as touchy as well.

 

“I didn’t… we just studied together.” Wendy stuttered. Probably she should go back to middle school and learn how to speak properly instead of physics.

 

She was lucky that Irene was stuck in this some kind of illusion of a better version of Wendy. “No, you totally did! You used to ace every physics test for the whole year, remember? It was because you had a crush on Mr. Lee, right?”

 

“It wasn’t like that!”

 

“You totally did! As well as the half of the class,” Irene argued. Clearly, she was winning because she was right.

 

“Well, who can blame him, he was cute and had a nice smile,” Wendy gave in. Damn it, Mr. Lee Dong Wook and his charming smiles. It was a sin to hire a teacher who looked like him to an all-girl middle school. How could you put a perfect man with gentle eyes and a soothing voice and trick the students into setting him as a bench of guys they could later find in life? Of course, they all would fall short, and the reality would later hit the poor middle school girls even harder than it should. “Did you, too, have a crush on him?”

 

Irene laughed. “I was too stressed out of possibly failing. I think I paid attention more to the board than to him.”

 

Wendy was still hyper-aware of Irene’s hand on top of hers. She was trying to breathe normally, afraid that the woman could feel her racing heartbeat from her hand. That’s when she noticed the small accessory on Irene’s finger.

 

Oh. Of course, women like Irene would find her Lee Dong Wook later in life. Irene deserved the perfect prince charming, and the two of them would grace the humanity with tiny species that are perfect and all wonderful they lifted the average quality of homo sapiens.

 

“So,” Irene asked, seemingly oblivious to Wendy’s sudden concentration on her hand, “why did you move back to Seoul?”

 

Wendy gulped, trying to keep her voice normal. “I… I just want a change, I guess.”

 

Irene probably thought that Wendy would elaborate, but she then got the message when the other girl was just looking down and sipping her beer. “Oh. Well, that’s a valid reason as any.”

 

“How about you?” Wendy tried to avert the topic swiftly, “How is life?”

 

“I guess just like how all adult’s lives are. You know, work, paying the bills, going out to clubs with their friends even when they’re so loud,” Irene said with a light voice, smiling at Wendy.

 

“You have a ring there,” the girl blurted out before she could stop herself.

 

Irene raised her eyebrows, finally looking at the direction where Wendy had been stealing glances at. “Oh. It’s nothing. It’s just… it’s easier when people assume you’re taken or better, married, especially at a club.”

 

Okay. Correction. Women like Irene didn’t even need her Lee Dong Wook. She’s a warrior, and her own knight shielded in golden armour.

 

“Still have trouble with the admirers, huh?” Wendy’s voice became light-hearted too, remembering how guys from other schools would wait for Irene at the school’s gate.

 

Irene chuckled. “People don’t really take rejection well. I guess this is better than having them hurt for no reason.”

 

Wendy hummed and nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

 

“You should use this trick too,” Irene looked at her, grinning widely. “I recommended Jennie about it, but she said she enjoys the attention once in a while.”

 

Wendy raised her eyebrows, surprised at the suggestion. “Me? Oh, I don’t think I need it. I don’t really reject people, I belong to the opposite spectrum.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Wendy shifted uncomfortably in her seats. Why did always say stupid things? “Well, you know. The one that gets rejected.”

 

Irene stared at her for a while. “Being rejected doesn’t always mean bad,” she then said. “It means that you’re brave and honest with your feelings.”

 

Brave and honest. The two words Wendy could never be. The woman got it all wrong. “Oh, no. I, uh,” Wendy tried to clear the misunderstanding, “never confess or make the first move.”

 

“Then how could you…”

 

“Be rejected?” Wendy finished the question for Irene. “Well, you know when you like someone, and then they like someone else, so it’s clear that you’re not… you don't. It’s like implied rejection.”

 

Irene furrowed her eyebrows. She seemed not pleased. “Well, that’s not fair.”

 

“Umm… I doubt the other party misses out that much. It’s not like I am a splendid girlfriend or anything.”

 

“I’m talking about you. You’re not fair to yourself,” Irene said. “And I’m sure you are a splendid girlfriend.”

 

Wendy scoffed at the woman’s remark. “What made you think that way?”

 

“Please, Seungwan. I know you when you’re fourteen, and teens at fourteen are basically demons. Then there are you walking around the school’s hallway with baked cookies for everyone with all smiles and hugs. It’s like you went into totally different puberty than the rest of us.”

 

Wendy was a bit stunned. She was not expecting Irene to actually come up with a reason; heck, twenty minutes ago, she didn’t even expect Irene to remember her. She was staring with partly opened, trying to come up with another rebuttal when suddenly a weight sunk on her lap.

 

“Oh. Hi there,” one gorgeous stranger said. Her long wavy dark hair was parted to one side of her face, and her lips, Wendy couldn’t stop staring at that red lips of hers (what lipstick does this woman use?) “No wonder the seats are softer than before,” the mysterious girl continued.

 

Wendy didn’t have a chance to say anything, not when the gorgeous being suddenly leaned towards her and kiss her full on the lips.

 

Was this like the universe sign encouraging her to go to clubs more often?

 

“Park Sooyoung!” Another random girl suddenly yanked the stranger’s, Park Sooyoung’s shoulder, stopping her from kissing Wendy. “I’m so sorry. She must’ve had too many drinks,” the smaller stranger bowed a couple of times while trying to get her friend off Wendy’s lap. “Sooyoung, you should apologise.”

 

Park Sooyoung leaned in again, whispering to Wendy’s ear. “I would like to continue making out with you, but that tiny companion of yours keeps sending me death glares.”

 

Her friend clearly ran out of patience. She pulled tall, beautiful Park Sooyoung, bowing numerously again to apologise before dragging the girl away from Wendy.

 

“Goodbye, cute stranger,” Wendy heard the girl shouted from the other end of the room, “It was nice kissing you!”

 

Wendy stared at their direction until they went out of her sight. She then realised the small tugs on her sleeves.

 

“Seungwan, are you okay?” Irene asked with furrowed eyebrows.

 

Wendy cleared . Right, Irene must’ve seen everything, how she just sat there while a girl sat on her lap and kissed her on the mouth. “Oh yeah. I’m fine.”

 

Irene still stared at her. “You don’t really look surprised.”

 

Should she be surprised? It’s not like a very bizarre thing that happens in clubs. Well, probably it was in Korea, with two girls kissing in open spaces. Wendy tried to ease away the uneasiness that was suddenly creeping in her chest. “Well, I guess I’m used to it.” She hoped that Irene would get the hint.

 

“Used to it?” Or not.

 

“Yeah.” Wendy elaborated further, “I’ve kissed girls before.” There. She dropped the bomb.

 

“Oh.” Irene blinked a few times, “I meant you don’t really look surprised after you got kissed by a complete stranger. I didn’t mean specifically girls.”

 

“Oh.” Embarrassments quickly took over her. “Well, umm, strangers. Yes. I mean, no. No, it doesn’t often happen with strangers.”

 

Irene nodded, chuckling at Wendy who was fanning herself. “I told you that you need the ring,” she teased light-heartedly, but something in her voice was not as chirpy.

 

Their conversation was cut short as Rosé, and the others got back to their seats. They were being recapped about what happened on the dance floor when Rosé noticed Irene’s gripped on Wendy’s arm.

 

“I’m glad that you two become friends so quickly. Irene doesn’t normally warm up to stranger this easily,” Rosé said to the two.

 

“We actually went to the same middle school together,” Irene said. Wendy just nodded along, chuckling awkwardly when Rosé's eyes went wide and cover with her hand. “She’s my saviour in eight grade,” Irene added, shooting a smirk into Wendy’s direction.

 

Rosé was excited, sharing the news to their table. Soon enough, the gang was probing the two for some juicy childhood stories.

 

“So, any embarrassing boyfriend you two might have?”

 

“You should send me Irene’s pre-puberty pictures. You know, for blackmail materials.”

 

“Did Wendy ever peed herself back then— what? Middle schoolers can pee their pants! It’s a valid question!”

 

It was mostly Irene who answered the bombarding questions, informing their co-workers that Wendy’s and her school life was pretty mundane with nothing revolutionary ever happened.

 

“So, you know no secrets about Wendy that we didn’t know?” Amber asked, voice filled with slight disappointment.

 

Wendy quickly gulped at her beer. Well, Irene did know something that clearly those people hadn’t known.

 

“Well, she…” Irene put her hand on the chin, pretending to think. “She used to have a crush on a teacher.”

 

Of course, what happened would be Wendy choking on her drink.” I-I didn’t!”

 

“How scandalous. What subject did he teach?” Jennie grinned, happy that they finally found an interesting topic to talk about.

 

“Physics,” Irene replied simply, ignoring the betrayed look Wendy shot her.

 

Jennie raised an eyebrow, now facing Wendy. “Please tell me that you at least tried delivering those pickup lines. ‘I’m sorry, sir. I couldn’t help it. Your gravitational pull was too strong it brings me closer to you.’”

 

“Wh-what?!”

 

Jenny was clearly enjoying the reaction of her new co-worker as she continued.” Do you know what the strongest force in the world is? It’s my attraction to you.”

 

After a few more horrendous torture of her vague middle school crush and an hour or more of drinking the night away, they decided to end the night.

 

Wendy was standing outside the club with Rosé pulling her into a goodbye hug. “I’m so glad that you came, Wendy.”

 

Wendy wrapped her arms around the woman. “I had fun. Thank you for inviting me.”

 

“You better be prepared for a weekly night out like this. The group likes you,” Rosé chuckled.

 

It was then Irene who pulled her into a hug. “I can’t believe we get to meet again,” she murmured next to Wendy’s ear.

 

“I can’t believe you sold me out like that,” Wendy teased, but still half-serious after the torments she went through, “You let me face Jenny’s horrible lines alone.”

 

Irene laughed, not a bit of regret was on her face. “I wish we could talk more. We have a lot of catching up to do, huh?”

 

“Well, we can always go to my place? It’s a ten-minute walk from here. We could sober up a little before continuing for round two then,” Wendy joked, but the other girl took it seriously.

 

“Lead the way,” Irene said, holding Wendy’s arm.

 

[.....]

 

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them were seated on Wendy’s sofa, each with a can of beer on their hands.

 

“I’ve dated in high school, all boys, but they were nothing serious,” Wendy reminisced, arms around her knees hugging herself. “It lasted for usually a month or two before we found out that we don’t really have much in common.”

 

“And then I got into college, and there was when I started going out on dates with girls. Nothing actually led to anything serious enough to be called a relationship, but that was mostly my fault.”

 

Irene said nothing, but she kept looking at her friend, shooting small smiles in between to let Wendy know she was listening.

 

(Irene had always been a great listener. Wendy reasoned that fact was the main reason she was sharing her story.)

 

“You see, I stayed in the dorms during my college years, and I got this roommate. She’s my best friend, and she’s also the reason why I started going on dates with other girls. I liked her. And I guess I’m not as emotionally invested as I should to my dates, so that’s why they didn’t work out.”

 

Wendy took a peek on the girl beside her, afraid that her somewhat secret might scare Irene away. But Irene was not scared. She instead squeezed Wendy’s hand gently.

 

“I never told her. About my feelings. I reasoned that our friendship was too precious to be possibly ruined by mere feelings. And I figured that she would never like me back too, so what was the point?”

 

Wendy let out a small chuckle, hoping to lighten up the mood from her pathetic love life.

 

“And a couple of months ago, she got engaged. She was so happy, and I tried to be happy for her too.”

 

Wendy remembered that moment so vividly. The image of that girl smiling so bright with happy tears in her eyes, showing her engagement ring to her best friend before hugging Wendy so close in her embrace.

 

She remembered the tightness in her chest, how she felt the air from her lungs being out. How she had to remind herself to breathe. How tears formed in her eyes, but it was from an entirely different reason.

 

“But I can’t,” she barely whispered. It was finally out. The reason she felt so guilty that she moved to the other side of the world. “And somehow being near her feels suffocating and I just… I need to escape. So, here I am. Running away.”

 

She shot a smile, convincing the other girl next to her that she was okay. (She was not. And she was doing a poor job with the convincing as tears started to well up in her eyes).

 

Irene scooted, sitting closer to her. Her hand was still playing with Wendy’s palm, leaving small soothing squeezes.

 

“How about you?” Wendy cleared , changing the subject. “What’s your story?”

 

The girl seemed to understand Wendy’s need for distraction. She told her that all she was too busy studying and working part-time that she didn’t enjoy her high school and university days as much. How she landed the job after she went through rounds of interviews and how she gave all her focus on her work since there was nothing much going on in her life aside from that. Irene also shared her dating experiences, which was not much as she was never much interested in it. And how at one point she just stopped trying.

 

They now finished their can of beers, still sitting beside each other. The two of them had just talked about their co-workers with Irene sharing office stories, and Wendy laughing at them. They were quiet for a moment before Irene asked.

 

“Seungwan. How do you know that you like girls?”

 

She could hear the hesitation in Irene’s voice, so Wendy smiled to assure that she didn’t mind sharing.

 

“Well… I moved into the dorm, and I met her. She was this pretty quiet girl. At that time, she was too shy that I was the one who always started our conversations.”

 

Wendy remembered her first day moving into the university’s accommodation. She was bringing her luggage in (which was only one huge suitcase; Wendy’s family house was only an hour drive away, that’s why she didn’t bring much) finding a girl as soon as she opened the door who flinched at her arrival. The girl then quickly bowed out of habit before flashing Wendy a sheepish smile.

 

After quick introductions (and learning that they were both Korean), both of them proceed to unpack their belongings. Wendy couldn’t help but smile when she recalled how her new roommate was very clumsy, tripping by her own feet and dropping her things along the way. 

 

“Then we got closer, and she turned out not to be that quiet anymore. She was dorky and awkward. Also, she got this obsession with tote bags with cute drawings on it. She loves succulent plants even though she was unnecessarily horrible at taking care of them.”

 

“She loves going to and trying out cute cafes around the city. She has this fear of snails, and I showed her pictures of them just to see her threw me her cute tantrums. We both like binging series on Netflix, so it became our Friday night routine, and I found myself waiting for Fridays to come.”

 

The sofa cuddles, both of them snuggling close so they could share a blanket. How midway their binging, she would find a head leaning on her shoulder, already full asleep. Then Wendy would mute the TV so that she could hear the light snoring of the girl next to her, positioning herself better so she would feel more comfortable.

 

“And she got pretty smiles. I would crack horrible jokes, or do stupid things just to see them. Then I wondered if I could be one of the reasons of her smile.”

 

Wendy loved how her smiles would always reach her eyes. It was probably why it took longer for Wendy to realise that the same smiles were only reaching one heart, and it was certainly not the owner of the lip curves.

 

“So, to answer your question, I knew I like girls when I fell for one.”