- Any plan for “SOPE”?

- Sope?
- We're taking a rest for a while.
- Why? Any reason?
- We have to focus on our team.
- SOPE is not your team then?
- 

- It’s very sad.

 

 

Yoongi couldn’t properly assimilate what was all of that about. Was Hoseok tired of it? What did he mean “we have to focus on our team?” Yoongi was furiously thinking about the fact that it looked like they were not even a team in Hoseok’s eyes. For Yoongi they were as important as BTS. It was something he put effort to, that fans enjoyed. Well, they do, right? He hoped so. That’s why he was so excited about it all the time. Seeing Hoseok neglecting that was surprising and it didn’t bring any inner peace, but instead, he wanted to argue about it. He wanted to talk. To understand. Something like a duo would never work if they’re not in sync. Did I do something wrong? Yoongi wasn’t the one to speak much but he used to overthink sometimes.

 

“Hoseok?” He asked for he younger, waiting for him to let him in, he had a frown between his eyebrows. Yoongi wasn’t the one to bother people with his stuff, but he had to. That was an especial case. Hoseok was always an especial case. “Can we talk for a moment?” He asked while resting the side of his body against the frame door. It was open and probably Hoseok was getting out of his studio.

 

Hoseok was about to actually leave the place when he heard Yoongi’s voice. He turned to show a bright smile, but something was off, he was already scratching the back of his head and Yoongi knew he was nervous or in discomfort. Hoseok sounded tired too. “Yeah, sure. What is it, Hyung?”

 

Yoongi took a deep breath as he walked inside the studio, closing the door right behind him soon leaning against the cold glass. “I’m going to be straightforward. What do you mean by sope is resting for a while?” His arms were crossed against his chest and he felt like the air was going to make him choke on his own words. It was suffocating somehow.

 

“Hyung. You know, we have our comeback, and we have to focus on what is important.” Hoseok sounded tired, more like exhausted and he was, recording a MV is pretty tiresome. Yoongi frowned at that. “But we’re a team and we’re important too, or else why would we start this?” Yoongi stated. It didn’t make sense.

 

Couldn’t he remember? He was the one working on the first song? Why is he forgetting all of this?

 

“I know.”

 

“Doesn’t look like it.”

 

“Yes, it does.”

 

“It ing doesn’t.” Yoongi was mad, he tightened his crossed arms, his eyes were almost with no shine on it, he couldn’t understand. “How can you say that? Why are you unmotivated? I didn’t know we were taking a rest, you never told me that. And, how can you say we’re not a team?”

 

“Never said that, Hyung.”

 

“Focus on /our/ team. Sure you didn’t.” Yoongi arched and eyebrow while he turned to face the other’s face. Hoseok was obviously hiding something. Yoongi wouldn’t force. That wasn’t his way of solving things. But lying wasn’t good either. It never was. And Hoseok was ty at it. 

 

“Hyung.” Hoseok inhaled calmly. He was trying. “I didn’t know you were serious. Did you ever notice the way you do jokes?” His eyes were meeting Yoongi’s.

 

“What do you mean, Hoseok?” He uncrossed his arms as his hands found a way to the inside of his light ripped jeans pockets.

 

“Just like your hair. When I told you you were looking good in black you said “so I wasn’t looking good before?” You said the same kind of thing earlier “sope is not our team then?” This kind of joke. I actually laughed because I thought you were joking about it” Hoseok was sitting now, fingers interlocked and thumbs caressing one on top of the other. And that was him lying.

 

Hoseok clearly laughed out of nervousness at that moment.

 

“Are you kidding me, right?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes while analyzing Hoseok’s face. “Hoseok, that was totally different, why would I joke about us?” His voice got lower and almost like a whisper. “I’d never joke about that. Well, not about not been seeing as a team with you.” Yoongi didn’t notice he was that sensitive about them, but it was burning on his stomach and his chest, and he felt dizzy.

 

Hoseok remained silent.

 

“Whatever you say Hoseok. Want us to rest for a while, so we’ll rest.” He said all of that but who said he was moving? He was static, he moved his legs but it didn’t look like he was actually moving . Hoseok was staring at him, confused and at the same time, he knew he was not telling the whole truth. But how could Hoseok admit that? How could he?

 

With much force, Yoongi was able to leave the room. Flushed cheeks and watery eyes. He was ed up. He didn’t know all of this would affect him   that much. Even tho he said “it’s very sad” while controlling his expressions, now it was totally different. What was that excuses about?

 

Yoongi was tucked inside of his white blankets, curled, knees up to his chest and soft breathes while he tried to sleep and forget about everything that happened that afternoon. It was two in the morning and he couldn’t visit dreamland for . His mind was spinning around the argue he had with Hoseok. A lot of “why’s” dancing on his mind.

 

When they were working together on a song it was peaceful, spending time with Hoseok was peaceful, Hoseok was not loud and frantic at all. He was calm and thoughtful. He would call Yoongi with his husky and sleepy voice in the middle of the producing time only to ask for his opinion, eyes half shut and hair a mess from all the times he slid his fingers through them. It was a beautiful sight. And Hoseok was probably tired of all.

 

“.” Yoongi cursed in a whisper. When did he started to cry? He muffled his soft sniffles against the pillow, soon hugging it. Something was weird and he couldn’t quite understand what was it. When he decided to stop overthinking,  failing, his body stiffened.

 

“Hyung? Can I come in?” Hoseok had bags under his eyes and Yoongi knew he was practicing his dance, he always practiced before bed since their pre debut.

 

Yoongi just murmured something like a “Mhm” only to let Hoseok know that he could. To that, Hoseok only sighed. Why would he say no? Why would he tell Hoseok to go away if that’s no what he wanted?

 

The taller just stared at Yoongi’s small body curled on the bed and he felt the urge to hold it close, pull him and cuddle him.

 

 Why the am I so confused about my feelings?

 

“I’m lying down. Can I?” Hoseok asked as he was already making his way to cover all of his body with the blanket, being close enough to breathe on the back of Yoongi’s neck. He could scent vanilla and soap.

 

“As if you would wait for an answer.” Yoongi said as he curled up even more.

 

Before Hoseok decided he should see how Yoongi was, he kept thinking when he was taking his long bath. The warm water made him think and think and think. Sope wasn’t the problem, he wasn’t tired of it, he wasn’t giving up. The problem is, being with Yoongi made him feel a lot more than he thought we would ever be able to feel. Or even deal with.

 

Hoseok noticed the way Yoongi pressed his lips in a thin line while getting focused, or the uncountable times he in between his lips while writing and thinking. The way he hummed to the beat while having his eyes half shut. Or the way he would move his soft bangs while shaking his head to one side. Hoseok got to the point that he waited for it to happen. All of it.

 

“I wouldn’t. You’re right. Cuddles?” He whispered against the milky skin, suppressing the urge to kiss the spot.

 

Hoseok was always holding everything inside. Luckily he was a touchy and cuddly person, so it was a normal situation, since it was him. No big deal. That was something people would think. In Hoseok’s head, it was an “enormous”/deal/.

 

And there he was, one arm on top of Yoongi’s waist, bodies pressed together, and the tip of his nose feeling the short hair sliding into his skin. It made him scrunch his nose and nuzzle against it.

 

“Why are you here. I’m still upset.” Yoongi had a muffled voice.

 

“Because I want to apologize.” Hoseok squeezed his arm, pulling Yoongi even closer to him. Yoongi was about to cry all over again.

 

“For what? There’s a long list of things. You know?” Hoseok smiled at that. Yoongi was being cute, even tho he knew the older was really upset about the argue they had.

 

“Well tell me one.” Hoseok closed his eyes.

 

“Saying that about sope resting without talking to me first.” At that, Hoseok hummed in agreement. “I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you since we’re a team.” Yoongi nodded. “Apologies accepted.”

 

“Two.” Hoseok continued.

 

“For implied that we’re not as important as the full team.” Yoongi’s voice almost cracked, to him, they were as much as important.

 

“I’m sorry. We’re important too, I shouldn’t have said that when we always had days and hours organized to that. And it was never a problem or a bother.” Yoongi nodded again, but he was asking himself.

 

Why would he say all of that when he know about all of this stuff we agreed in the very beginning-

 

“Should I apologize for falling in love?” Hoseok whispered while he had pouty lips as he just sank his face on Yoongi’s back.

 

He just spilled it all, but he didn’t know the other was going to listen, he said but only for himself. It was number three? Right?

 

Yoongi’s eyes widened as he dared to roll over only to find Hoseok was blushing. Head low and the heart shaped lips slightly parted. “What?” His heart was about to come out through his mouth. He had to swallow hard as he tried to keep his breathing stable.

 

Well. Since there’s no way I can run away from my own words. And then Hoseok’s lips started to move.

 

“We’re a team, Yoongi. Being a team means we’re together for long hours, just you and me. And maybe, just maybe, I kind of got used to it. More than I thought I would. Not to the point where I just feel comfortable to be with you, but that I don’t feel comfortable enough without you around.”

 

Yoongi stuttered when he tried to formulate a whole sentence. He just stared into Hoseok’s eyes. Was he for real?

 

It was all blacking out, he felt his body numb, and sometimes sparkling, and then his eyes were heavy and his mouth dry. He was asleep. Slowly he got sit on the bed, staring at the door with a hopeful stupid smile, hands gripping the blankets tight.

 

So it was all a dream, uh? You’re so ed Min Yoongi.

 

It didn’t took long for him to lost himself on his own mind, all over again, that dream made everything worse, and for once, once, he wished he’d listen to Hoseok’s voice. He wanted to be held close and cuddled. He wanted that. He wanted Hoseok. As a team. And more.

 

It was low and he couldn’t quite listen, but there it was, a knock behind the door.

 

“Hyung, can I come in?”