Chapter 1: Thank you for posting this back up authornim!! I don’t know what you’re talking about because I really love this piece of yours ㅠㅠ The amount of FLUFF. I guess you would’ve never known how much this means to me if I didn’t tell you, so I’m gonna do that right now. There’s so many good things about this story and it’s so fluffy~~ The more I think about it, the more I feel you deserve to be a lot happier with this one.
Namjoo’s commentary is the best haha I love her character, no, I love everyone’s characters! Ahh it’s so hard to encapsulate everything in one comment, but that’s what I shall do, my essay to you. Chorong is adorable, and we’re literally seeing how attractive Bomi is in her eyes. omg those muscles when Bomi carries her books-
One thing that stuck out to me when I first read this one is the soft feeling it gives, and it’s kinda why I started looking for this fic again. It’s like, pink haired Chorong and peach smelling Bomi and strawberry milk and all the scenes just seem so rose-tinted in my mind AHHH I find it so sweet. It’s actually the first time I’ve read ‘peach’ being used as a smell and now I have to credit you because I can’t describe Bomi without using the sweet smell of peaches ahahaha. I really use peach as a descriptor now! And this is so important, because before this I also hadn’t read ‘smell’ being used quite as frequently as you did, making it a recurring theme. I found it so realistic and the way Chorong kind of falls into a trance around Bomi’s scent is absolutely mesmerising. I love that too, and again I’m inspired by you as I pay more attention to smell in my writing. And where you said “It’s really warm where Bomi touched her” - I gotta credit that too, you made me think of the lingering memory and awareness of touches. Maybe it’s weird that I haven’t read fics that describe these senses as cute and simple as this, or have an impact on me like this. You really did inspire me greatly.
Bomi is the right amount of flirting, even vulgar at the beginning (omg why’s it so hot in here) and it’s just afsfhdfg everything about this crush is adorable! I still can’t believe you feel bad about this!!! I mean, if the reason was really about your writing quality, I hope that you can feel better about it. Ahh Bomi! Her funny notes on the milk cartons, the little detail in her reactions to Chorong like “Do you not like milk?” and the way her eyes darken when Chorong announced her stalker and “Some messed up part of the older girl’s brain thinks it’s hot” AFDKLSJFKA I’m too excited.
Omg the way Chorong falls into Namjoo’s trap and admits her developing crush sksksk AND when Namjoo and Hayoung barrel into the room to kill the spider HAHAHA I always thought that was the funniest thing. It’s so fluffy because somehow chobom are clinging onto each other, the closest they’ve ever been, and that smell of peachesss keeps going oh my lord. But the way Namjoo and Hayoung are brandishing pencils and scissors as weapons is literally the most school-like that a fic can ever get and I freaking love it so much. It makes me laugh :D
And right! The ending! Bomi who blurts it out, how Chorong’s first instinct is to get out of there, how she plans to make it up to her but it doesn’t go according to plan because of course Bomi is there to apologise and explain herself… and then Choronggg ohmaagad, sobs, it’s perfect. This is amazing.
You could say it’s because I don’t have a broader experience with other fandoms’ writing styles since I stay in the chomi tag? But still I believe I’ve read a lot of good writing, and to me, this one shot is seriously really good. The sweet plot, the simple descriptions and narration. It’s up there in my favourite one shots! So I want to say thank you, you did really well with this shot. It’s not bad at all! I hope I could express to you how much I truly love it.
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