It’s her hair and her eyes today

Taeyeon’s fingers dances across the surface of the table, as if playing the piano, as her right foot gently thuds with the rhythm of the song.

That just simply take me away

Her lips pulls into a little smile as she sings in her head, the lyrics inked in her heart permanently—hopelessly.

And the feeling that I’m falling further in love makes me shiver, but in a good way

Taeyeon’s eyes travels to the door of the café and as if on cue the door opens, revealing a visibly distressed girl—hands carrying heavy anatomy books, lips pulled into a cute little scowl, and eyes tired from what seems like an endless study session.

“The usual?” Taeyeon hears the barista ask, a practiced smile plays across his gentle face.

“Thanks, Suho” The girl replies before turning her head to search for an empty table. She spots one almost immediately. There by the window, a table that seems to be reserved for her – her usual spot. She likes this table with enough light from the window to read her books, and enough space away from the bustling customers for concentration. Although, the café is relatively quiet except for the song that is playing on the stereo in a low volume. Jessica laughs a little, mind unwillingly singing along with the lyrics. She’s heard this a hundred times already, in this very same spot, at the very same time of the very same day of the week – Fridays.

“Here,” Suho says, breaking Jessica’s train of thoughts. And some Good Samaritan bought you a donut, too. They said you look like you can use the sugar rush.

Jessica rolls her eyes at Suho. “Well, thank you, Good Samaritan.”

“Wasn’t me,” Suho says putting his hands up as if surrendering. “I wish I was that thoughtful.”

Jessica lets out a little laugh. “Serious?” She inquires.

“Dead serious,” Suho says before waving Jessica goodbye to get back behind the counter.

Jessica looks around, taking in every customer left inside the café. Nobody stands out, most of them busy with their own companions. She turns to the donut again, the corner of her lips tugging a little smile. Well, thank you stranger.

----------------

Six days later, Taeyeon is back at café humming to the same song she’s listed to a hundred times before. Okay, maybe just a couple of times honestly. It has just been a couple of weeks since she started hanging out in this café. And it has just been exactly one month and two weeks since she first lay eyes on the nursing student who seems very friendly with the barista. Sometimes she wonders how long the girl has been going in this café. All that she knows, though, is that she is a medical student as what her anatomy book suggests.

A nursing student, maybe? She muses, realizing that she doesn’t really know anything about this girl. And that she’s becoming like the creepy stalkers she have read about on the internet. She frowns, wanting to fight the voice in her head that is saying she is a stalker – not wanting to be like those monsters. No, she will never be like them. She likes that girl, but she has never followed her home or even tried to know where she studies. Taeyeon will admit, though, that it is tempting to want to know everything about this girl. She was so close to asking the barista last week, she was so close to searching her social media accounts. But Taeyeon knows better. And she fights the urge everyday. No matter how hard it is.

Her phone buzzes on the table gently, a text message from her cousin says they’ll be heading out tonight. She locks the screen, taking note of the time before the screen turns black.

Two minutes. It had been two minutes after three in the afternoon. She worries a little, the girl still hasn’t showed up. At three in the afternoon every Friday, Taeyeon makes sure that the table by the window is empty. She sits there and transfers to another table just five minutes before three. But today she wonders, and worries a little.

“I think she’s participating in an event at school,” the voice from behind Taeyeon makes her jump a little. The barista sits opposite of her. “Sorry, did I scare you?” He says, lips curved into his practiced barista-smile.

Taeyeon shakes her head, returning a polite smile at the barista. “No, it’s fine. I was just out of it today.”

The barista lets out a laugh-not too loud, not mocking. A tired laugh, if Taeyeon would say. “Yeah,” he starts. “I see you looking anxiously at the door.”

Taeyeon rubs the back of her neck, cheeks warming up. “I wasn’t—“

“Suho,” the kind barista says, offering a hand at Taeyeon.

“Taeyeon,” she answers, shaking Suho’s hand.

“Jessica’s participating in an event at school,” he starts as he sits up straight in his chair.

“Oh,” was all that Taeyeon could answer.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, uh, you know…” Suho trails off, scratching his brow gently.

“I think I’ve just been too obvious.” Taeyeon lets out a shy smile. Like she’s just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Yeah,” Suho grins. “You really are. At least to me, though. Jessica doesn’t seem to notice.”

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says, the name rolling out of her tongue oh so perfectly. “She has a nice name.”

Suho nods. “And very kind, I’m telling you.” He grins again, more natural, more relaxed. “She’s my classmate from High School.”

Taeyeon nods. “That’s why you two seems close.”

“Nah, we didn’t even talk until recently. When I started working here.”

Suho, your break is over.

“I should keep going,” Suho says, standing up and smoothing over his pants.

“Thanks, Suho.” Taeyeon says.

Suho stops, turning back to Taeyeon with gentle eyes. “Actually, I can introduce you to her if you want.”

Taeyeon’s heart skips a beat. Is this real? Is she actually going to meet Jessica?

“S-sure,” she stammers before Suho heads back to his post behind the counter.

But that introduction never really happened. Two weeks after talking to Suho and Jessica never stepped foot in the café again. Taeyeon’s worries grew each day despite Suho’s assurance that Jessica was okay and was just busy. But Taeyeon has always been known to be impatient, and so she does the thing she said she would never do – she searched Jessica on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. And that’s when she wished she didn’t do it. Because stalking Jessica’s social media account reveals that Jessica actually has a boyfriend that she is madly and deeply in love with. And Taeyeon’s heart breaks into tiny little pieces. She was not hopeful, no, she know and always knew that Jessica is just way out of her league – but she can’t help but feel heartbroken. She can’t help that she’s helplessly and hopelessly in love with Jessica Jung.

---------------

“Let’s grab some coffee first,” Yuri yanks a tipsy Taeyeon towards a café.

“Bed… sleep.” Taeyeon murmurs, feet shuffling as she got dragged by her cousin. Their two other cousins following behind, giggling as they talk about a guy who bought them drinks at the bar.

“You know, minors shouldn’t be out drinking this late.” A familiar voice makes Taeyeon lift her eyes to the person. Her eyes lights up when she recognizes the practiced barista-smile.

“Suho!” Taeyeon says, getting tipsier each moment. “Suho, my man! I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Suho laughs, “I could say the same to you. Where have you been?”

Yuri cuts the conversation then, smiling politely as she says “I think our cousin needs something strong.”

Suho grins, “I know just the drink. I’ll serve them to you.”

The group sits at a table near the window, waiting for their coffees.

“And it’s frightening to be swimming in this strange sea,” Taeyeon sings along with the music in a low voice, the corner of her lips tugged up into a smile. “I love this song,” she says, seeming to have a mind of their own. “Did you know I used to dedicate this to Jessica?”

Yuri rolls her eyes. “You hopeless romantic,” she says pushing Taeyeon a playfully.

“And she’s all that I see and she’s all that I need…” Taeyeon’s smile widens as she thinks back to Jessica. “And I’m out of my league once again.” And then sadness consumes Taeyeon again, remembering that Jessica’s just someone out of her reach – someone who will just only stay in her dreams. Someone she could never ever have.

Yes she’s all that I see and she’s all that I need, and I’m out of my league once again.

Taeyeon slumps back on her chair and her cousins noticed this.

“You keep talking about this Jessica,” Hyoyeon says while Yuri and Sunny nod their heads.

“As if she’s an ex who broke your heart,” Sunny adds, gaining chuckles from the group.

“But seriously, though,” Yuri says. “You said she doesn’t even know you exist.”

“Their stars just hasn’t aligned yet.” Suho’s voice make the group turn to look at him. “Coffees?” he offers, setting the tray onto their table.

“Suho, you’re the best.” Taeyeon says after taking a sip from her coffee. “This is the best coffee in all of Seoul, seriously.”

Suho laughs, eyes traveling to the table just beside Taeyeon’s group. A group of students were silent, their faces seemingly stuck to their anatomy books, although Suho knows better. “I’ll take any compliment, even if it’s from my drunk irreversibly and irrevocably in love friend,” he says in a hearty voice.

“Straight outta Twilight.” Sunny rolls her eyes.

Taeyeon doesn’t seem to notice this as she relieves her daze with coffee. “Hot,” she says with a pout and her cousins laugh, joined by Suho.

“Aren’t our resident musician just the cutest?” Sunny says teasingly, unaware of the other group in the café.

“Bah!” Taeyeon says, gesturing her hand as if making Sunny go away.

Suho laughs teasingly, taking a chair to sit beside Yuri and opposite of Taeyeon. “Hey, easy there,” he says with a grin. “So, tell me why I haven’t seen you around for weeks.”

“Oh, you know, this kid has been moping around the dorm, talking about Jessica this, Jessica that.” Yuri says, making her other cousins burst into silent laughter. “If I didn’t know her I would say she’s turned into a creepy stalker.”

“I-I wasn’t!” She says, defensively. “We all need time to grieve, you know?”

Her cousins burst out laughing again.

“Grieve, huh?” Hyoyeon says, the alcohol long washed away.

“Hey, I think this coffee is making me dizzy,” Taeyeon says, intently looking at her coffee as if waiting for it to talk back to her.

Suho laughs, “You’re just drunk.”

Taeyeon lets out a sigh, turning to Suho. “You know, that day we talked, that day you told me her name,” she swallows a lump in . “I tried to fight it, I really did. But I’m just human, you know? I couldn’t resist any longer so I gave in. I gave in and looked for her social media accounts.”

Suho’s eyes were gentle, patting Taeyeon’s hand gently – like his dad would do to him when he would cry. And though Taeyeon is not crying, the sadness in her voice is just as heavy.

“I couldn’t resist not knowing her. I couldn’t resist not seeing her,” she pauses, head bobbing gently as if she’s about to pass out. “And I did it, I found her, Jessica Jung, and… and… that was when I decided not to come. Not because I hate her, but because I realized I need to distance myself from her. To keep myself from falling further. To keep myself from craving her presence even more. To keep… to keep myself from dreaming.”

Taeyeon lets out a sigh before continuing, “You know, you can call me crazy now, I won’t hate you. But you know, sometimes, I imagine her spending the day with me – talking, laughing, eating, and sharing secrets. It’s crazy, right? She doesn’t even know I exist and I sound very obsessed and I think I am. Or am I? I’ve always asked myself that – is this just obsession? Is it just because she’s pretty and I’ve always been drawn to pretty things since I was a kid? But no, man, honestly no. I really really really like Jessica and I really really really want to be part of her life. But that’s just a crazy dream ‘coz I can never. Ever. She’s just waaaay out of my league, you know?”

Suho nods as Taeyeon’s cousins burst out into giggles, talking about how much of a hopeless romantic their cousin is. But the group behind Taeyeon has fallen silent, their books now lays open on the table. One girl seems to be stiffened in her seat.

“Taeyeon, nobody’s saying you’re obssessed. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. You’re overthinking these things,” Suho says in a comforting voice.

“Maybe in another life.” They all hear Taeyeon say. Yuri, Hyoyeon, and Sunny turn pensive.

“Well, in another life will you still be reserving tables for her every Friday?” Suho says with a teasing laugh.

Taeyeon grins. “Always,” she says with resolve. “Fridays, three in the afternoon, right here in her favorite spot where she can peacefully study her anatomy books.” Her eyes are drooping now, seeming to close on their own.

Suho, your break is over.

“I think that’s my cue,” Suho says, smiling to the group. It was really nice catching up with you, Taeyeon, and nice to unofficially meet you Taeyeon’s cousins.”

The group waves Suho goodbye as they get ready to leave, too. As the door closes behind Taeyeon, Jessica’s eyes focuses on the girl who have just unofficially confessed to her in front of her classmates.

“Well,” Yoona, her classmate, says as she breaks the silence that has fallen upon their group. “That was interesting.”

The others nod with little smiles.

“Who knew Kim Taeyeon was such a hopeless romantic?” Sooyoung says, grinning now.

Jessica did not meet their eyes. She couldn’t, because if she does they’ll notice that she is blushing.

“How did you know her?” Jessica says in a small voice, eyes focused on the words she is trying-and failing to read.

“Taeyeon?” Sooyoung says. “I know her since High School. She keeps to herself but I heard she’s a really nice person.”

Jessica nods, pretending to study again—but she couldn’t.

---------------

“Please tell me you’re just kidding,” Taeyeon says, her head hidden in her hands, obviously distressed.

The sight makes Suho laugh as he drink from his frappe. “I’m dead serious. They were just there silently listening to you confess how much you daydream about Jessica.”

Taeyeon groans, “Not helping, man” she says. “Why didn’t you stop me from blabbering?

Suho shrugs, “You needed to let it out.”

“Yeah, but not with Jessica listening, man!”

Suho grins, finishing the rest of his frappe. “Look, it doesn’t seem to be that bad.”

“Now I don’t know how to face her,” Taeyeon says dejectedly, finally looking at Suho.

Suho mocks her, “Tae, you can’t even introduce yourself to her.”

Suho, your break is over.

“Aaaand, that’s me. See you around, Tae.”

Taeyeon watches as Suho makes his way back to the counter, his lips widening into a grin as her looks back at Taeyeon from the counter.

“Hey,” A voice makes Taeyeon stiffen in her seat. “Taeyeon, right?”

Taeyeon turns around. In slow motion. Just like in the movies when the main actors are about to kiss. But this is real life and there is no kissing scene but it seems like every second feels like forever as she came face to face with none other than Jessica Jung. goes dry, she couldn’t even utter a word.

Jessica offers her a gentle smile. “The café is full and I really really really need to study,” she says shyly. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Taeyeon have had many scenarios made up in her head when the day she finally builds up the courage to introduce herself to Jessica. But she was never prepared for them. And she isn’t prepared for this.

“I… I was just… a-about to leave… t-take my t-table.”

And with that, Kim Taeyeon dashes out of the café – leaving a stunned Jessica and an amused Suho in her wake.

“Well, that was something.” Jessica smiles a little smile, sitting on the chair Taeyeon had just evacuated.

It's a masterful melody when she calls out my name to me. As the world spins around her she laughs, rolls her eyes and I feel like I'm fallin but it's no surprise.