This is based on an old story by Horacio de Quiroga called 'La meningitis y su sombra' (Meningitis and her shadow), though at some point I lost track of what happened and although I consider it a somewhat loyal adaptation, I did add a lot of things. I'm dying to get this off from my system, so finally, here it is. I'd like to think of it as a victorian au, but tbh I didn't try too hard, so please forgive the inaccuracies.

Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers

Starts all soft and sweet and turns them to hunters.

-Howl.

It was late at night when Sunggyu heard the bell ring.

He was busy transcribing notes from his professor in his study room, guided only by the help of a dim oil lamp on the corner of the desk.

He waited to see if his housekeeper, Mrs. Jang, was still awake, but heard no sign of her going to the main door. The bell rang again.

Sunggyu sighed, rubbing his temples and taking off his glasses. It was too early in life for him to have such poor eyesight at night, but he figured it was the toll of staying up so often. He stood up, grabbing his lamp along the way, and walked across the room and into the corridor.

Before he reached the door, lightning illuminated the hallway, the crack of thunder following shortly after.

He opened the door. Outside stood a man in a thick coat and a younger one not too far behind. Sunggyu couldn’t say he recognized either one of them.

“Good evening, Mr. Kim,” the older man said, extending his hand and bowing lightly. Sunggyu shook his hand. “I hope we’re not too much of a bother tonight.”

“Good evening, and not at all,” Sunggyu replied out of politeness. He was not finished with the notes, but he hoped the odd exchange would not last too long. “Though it is a bit odd, and a storm is heading this way. What brings you here?”

“I’m doctor Lee Byungsoo,” the man explained, taking off his hat. “This guy here,”—he nudged the other man towards Sunggyu— “is Nam Boohyun.”

Sunggyu lifted his eyebrows. “Ah, of course, how you do?” he asked, shaking Boohyun’s hand with relative easiness. However, he did not like the look of suspicion on Boohyun’s face. They had been classmates before Sunggyu had to drop out of school, so there was no reason to harbor any ill feelings.

“I can’t say I’ve been doing well,” the man replied, standoffish. Sunggyu stepped back. “Do you happen to know anything about my brother?”

“Your brother?” Sunggyu echoed, scratching the back of his head. After a while, a name came to his mind. “Ah, Nam Woohyun, right? He was an underclassman when we were at the academy.”

The truth was that he couldn’t remember other than a couple of random facts about Woohyun. It had been so long he couldn’t even remember the sound of his voice, or the look of his face.

The two odd visitors looked at each other.

“Would you mind if we come in?”

A bit confused, Sunggyu nodded. “Of course. I apologize, though. The housekeeper went to bed a while ago.”

Once they settled on the waiting room, while Sunggyu lit up the candles around them, Dr. Lee cleared his throat.

It was, however, Boohyun who spoke.

“Are you sure you’re not familiar with my brother?” he asked Sunggyu, who sat down on the couch and offered them cigarettes from his pack. They both rejected him.

“Not at all,” he replied, lighting one for himself. “I don’t ever remember us exchanging other than greetings on the rare occasions I’ve met your family.” He tried to recall a conversation, a recent exchange of greetings, anything, but nothing came to mind. “To be honest, I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

Boohyun looked away, so Dr. Lee used the moment as a chance to speak.

“You see… We’re in quite a bit of a serious predicament. Woohyun has fallen terribly ill and, I’m afraid to say, he might not make it through the night.” He continued, “I have over forty years of experience and I have never seen something like this. I suspect it’s a strong case of meningitis, but his feverish delusions,”—he looked at Boohyun, waiting for him to add something, but met only silence— “well… They are odd, to say the least.”

Sunggyu shifted in his place, ignorant of the right words to the situation. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” he said, unsure if he should have added anything else.

He took a drag. The doctor rubbed his eyes under his glasses.

“The reason we’re here, Mr. Kim, is that during those periods of delirium, he calls for you.”

Sunggyu frowned, exhaling smoke. “Me?”

“Yes, and the nature of those calls…”

Boohyun leaned forward. “Sunggyu, we need you to be honest. Do you really have no relation to my brother? This is a desperate time, and if you're lying...”

“I am being honest,” Sunggyu replied, starting to feel irritated towards his former classmate. “Is this some kind of joke? I haven’t even seen you since my parents passed away.”

Boohyun sighed. Under the candlelight, both men looked at least ten years older each.

“I do believe he is telling the truth,” Dr. Lee said to Boohyun, and then turned to Sunggyu. “I apologize for the impertinence, but even so, we need to ask a favor from you. Like I said, Woohyun might not make it through the night, but you might be our last hope.”

“Please come to see him, Sunggyu. At least so that he may die in peace.”

Sunggyu grimaced, putting down his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. He, more than anyone in the world, knew better than to refuse a dying man’s wish. He took a deep breath, uncomfortable at the intense stares directed towards him.

“I don’t understand how I will be of help, but I’ll go with you.”

--

The storm started as the coach arrived to Boohyun’s rather opulent home. Sunggyu thought it was a bit early in the season for rain, but there were more important concerns at the moment.

Boohyun’s mother received them when they reached the parlor, embracing her son with a strong, heartfelt grip.

She turned to Sunggyu.

“So it’s true?” she asked in a voice that made the hairs on Sunggyu's arms rise.

Sunggyu shook his head with desperate need to explain himself. “Like I’ve told your son, I barely know Woohyun.”

Boohyun held his mother on his arms as she deflated. “Sunggyu still decided to help us, mother, so let’s hope his presence is enough to calm him down.”

“I agree,” the doctor added. “We need to be prepared for the worst, I won’t deny that, but even so… Sunggyu might provide some comfort.”

“Oh, please don’t mention it,” she sobbed, dabbing on her eyes to dry her tears with a pale cloth. Sunggyu had a feeling her actions were for naught. Nevertheless, he offered her a dry handkerchief

“Thank you,” she said to him before turning away to guide them to Woohyun’s room.

They shuffled upstairs in silence, Sunggyu’s palms growing sweatier as they approached the room. When the time to face the surreal situation came, what was he supposed to say? How was he to act? These kind of questions swirled in his head, but, when Boohyun’s mother opened the door, his mind became blank.

The room, partially obscured in penumbra, felt colder than the rest of the house. The only light, aside from the constant lightning outside, came from an oil lamp in the night stand. Next to it laid a bowl, from which a young woman extracted water with a towel and then proceeded to squeeze the excess, and placed it on what couldn’t be other than Nam Woohyun.

“Yein?” the mother called, stepping into the room. Dr. Lee and Boohyun followed, leaving Sunggyu last.

“Oh, you’re here,” Yein, said, leaving room aside for the doctor to examine Woohyun’s condition. She, Sunggyu remembered vaguely, was the youngest of the Nam siblings, although when Sunggyu had last seen her she was a kid. “So you’re really…”

“No,” Sunggyu hurried to respond, trying not to sound too irritated. “I’m here because Boohyun asked me to help.”

Much like her mother, she seemed to lose all hope. She wiped her hands on her wrinkled dress and unrolled her sleeves. Her features seemed long and distressed, tired like the rest of her family’s. “Well, we do need every help we can.”

Gently, she pulled Sunggyu to the bed and directed him to her previous seat. By this point, the doctor had already stepped aside.

Sunggyu saw Woohyun for the first time in years. In his mind, the young man was only a teenager with a dimpled smile to whom Sunggyu had not paid much attention, but the person who lied on bed was a completely different person. Pale, gaunt, tossing and turning with eyes shut and a pained grimace. His hair looked thin, almost brittle, and in the darkness of the room, the bags under his eyes were of a darkness so profound they brought the memory of a corpse.

Sunggyu recalled seeing his parents like this, when they were at the end of their lives after catching a strange fever on a business trip. He could not do anything for them by the time they arrived home due to the severity of their illness, so he watched them lie in bed, decaying slowly. At least they were together, then.

Seeing Woohyun, this man, in a similar position brought unpleasant feelings to Sunggyu that he couldn't analyze at the time, so he cleared his throat and glanced away for a brief moment to recollect himself. The Nam family and Dr. Lee looked at him, expectant.

“Woohyun?” he ventured in a soft voice, looking back at the dying man.

The twitching, almost desperate, stopped immediately. Woohyun opened his eyes, dark and bloodshot, and the frown that marred his features remained.

“Sunggyu?” he croaked. It was the first time that Sunggyu ever heard his voice.

He nodded, but then realized that it would not suffice. “Yes,” he said, trying not to look too bewildered. He glanced at the other people in the room again. “I’m here.”

Woohyun blinked once, then twice, and the frown was gone. He offered a weak smile.

But most importantly, when it seemed that recognition had flashed through his eyes, the look on his face melted. Devotion was the first word that came to Sunggyu’s mind. Woohyun was looking at him with the sort of undying devotion deserved for lovers only.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

He lifted a hand, although Sunggyu considered the term ‘lift’ to be an overestimation. It was more like his hand dragged to the edge of the bed, weakly, like a worm, like the desperate plea of a dying man.

Sunggyu rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers and stood up. He walked out of the room, dragging Boohyun with him. Once they made it to the end of the hall, far from the room, he turned to the oldest of the Nam siblings.

“I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is,” he said in a harsh whisper, “but I don’t find it funny. At all.”

“Sunggyu,” Boohyun started, sounding defeated. “I promise you, it’s a strange situation and we don’t understand it either. I love my brother, and I didn’t know… What do you think my mother thought when she heard him calling for you?” He paced back and forth. “If you were actually lovers… It would have made things so much easier. But no one can explain it. Dr. Lee has been in the family for years, he’s one of the best in the city.”

Sunggyu knew that, for Lee’s reputation preceded him. Unfortunately, he had been in the States when tragedy struck Sunggyu’s family.

“And he doesn’t know what to do,” he said, more to himself than to Boohyun, leaning on the wall.

“You’re the only one who can help my brother,” Boohyun said. “You saw the way he looked at you. Grant him this, I beg you.”

More than seeing, Sunggyu had felt it, but he figured it would be inappropriate to share this information with Boohyun.

“But what he said…”

“I don’t know, Sunggyu. Ignore him if he talks, pretend what you want, but please…”

“Do you realize what you’re asking of me?” Sunggyu whispered, wondering what this would say of his reputation and immediately regretting those shallow thoughts. Reputation, he told himself, was the last thing that mattered in a case like this.

Boohyun nodded, silent. He and Sunggyu were the same age, and yet the Nam looked old beyond his years.

Sunggyu sighed. “I understand.”

Trembling slightly, Sunggyu sat next to Woohyun’s bed once more. The young man’s smile immediately bloomed. “You’re here.”

Sunggyu sighed. He took the towel—already dry and burning hot—and dipped it into the ice-cold water in the container placed on the nightstand. He proceeded to squeeze the excess of water and, brushing Woohyun’s bangs aside, placed the towel on his forehead.

He held Woohyun’s hand. The level of heat alarmed him slightly, but he tried not to let it show.

“I’m here.” 

--

Hours later, as the sun peaked over the horizon, the storm long gone, Woohyun’s mother placed a hand on Sunggyu’s shoulder.

Woohyun had fallen asleep not too long ago, after staring at Sunggyu with a tenderness and affection akin to that shared between couples who have been together for years and years. He kept twitching once in a while, though, making Sunggyu—who was also at his limit, and falling asleep—jolt awake. At some point, however, he dozed off as well.

Sunggyu sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?” he asked in a whisper.

Woohyun’s mother showed him her watch. It was twelve to seven. Sunggyu glanced back at Woohyun, who was more or less still for the time being, as his mother placed a hand on his forehead, nodded, and changed the towel.

Silently, they exited the room.

“I can’t begin to thank you for what you did tonight,” she said as they walked downstairs. “I just hope we’ll never have to importunate you again with such a bizarre situation.”

Sunggyu shrugged with an awkward smile, thinking of a way to put his thoughts into polite words. “It was certainly odd, but I’m glad I could be of help. Hopefully he’ll get better now that the worst is over.”

She nodded. “Would you mind staying for breakfast?”

Sunggyu was starving, so he accepted the invitation and they entered the dining room. To his surprise, the two Nam siblings and Dr. Lee were already there. Food was brought shortly after, and they ate amidst small chatter, although Sunggyu could feel that the general atmosphere felt drained. Everyone had more or less stayed up, after all, but at least spirits seemed to be higher than the previous night.

They asked Sunggyu about his studies, to which he replied he was doing well, but sometimes he had difficulties while asking his peers to share notes or study together for exams, for the age difference made him feel a bit out of place.

At some point, Boohyun excused himself from the table and returned with a stack of papers for Sunggyu.

“Some of them might be old-fashioned, but they helped us get through school easily enough,” he said. “Although Woohyun’s seem to be neater than mine.”

Sunggyu thanked him profusely. “I’ll transcribe them and bring them back, since Yein might need them in the future as well.”

The youngest at the table blushed. “Ah, I do need all the help I can get,” she laughed.

Once they finished breakfast, and the mood felt lighter, Sunggyu decided it was time for him to go back home. At least he did not have to go to school that day, but he did need to rest. His back felt sore and his neck was stiff, and he worried he looked as pale and drained as Woohyun did.

The young Nams walked him and the doctor to the door, where a coach was waiting for each of them, while Woohyun’s mother climbed back upstairs to check on her son and the maids tidied the dining room.

“It was nice to see you after so long, despite the circumstances,” Boohyun told Sunggyu, shaking his hand, “but I do wish I don’t have to do it again now that the worst is over.”

“Likewise,” Sunggyu replied. “May we meet again under kinder circumstances.”

“Ah, my mother is always organizing little gatherings, although she stopped for obvious reasons,” Yein intervened without noticing the slight wince both males did. Although Sunggyu had heard about the luxurious Nam gatherings, he had never been invited to one. They ran in different circles, after all. “Maybe, when Woohyun recovers, you can come to one.”

“Ah, yes, thank you,” Sunggyu responded with a bow. “Hopefully he’ll be back in top shape soon.”

He bid farewell by lifting his hat and climbed into the coach.

--

Although that morning had given everyone in the house the feeling that things were going to be back to normal soon, the same couldn’t be said for that night. Sunggyu was getting to bed after a day spent copying down the notes the Nam family had let him borrow, muscles aching from the tension of the night before and vision blurry from the strain, when the bell rang.

Sunggyu had already turned off his oil lamp and pulled the covers over his body, so he considered letting the bell ring until whoever had considered visiting him would leave. After all, his decision to open the door last night had led to the confusing scene in which he had participated.

Ms. Jang, however, was not as keen on the incessant noise. Sunggyu heard her open the door to welcome the unexpected guests, so he sighed, rising up and turning on his lamp. A couple of minutes later, she burst into the room.

“A message, young master!” she nearly screeched. “They said it’s urgent!”

Sunggyu scratched his head. “Who?”

Ms. Jang shoved the note on front of him in response. With a sigh, he grabbed the spectacles that laid on the night table and read the note. It said:

WOOHYUN. ILL AGAIN.

PLEASE COME SOON.

It did not need to be signed. Even if they had not written Woohyun’s name, Sunggyu would recognize that the note carried—perhaps inadvertently—the smell of the refined perfumes worn by the Nam ladies.

He huffed, dressing himself in a night robe atop his sleeping wear and asking Ms. Jang to pack him a set of spare clothes and his books. He had class tomorrow, so the Nams would probably send him straight from their home.

A note. Not even a personal visit. Well, at least they had the decency of adding *please.

--

Some days later, it became obvious they had fallen into a routine.

It was, in Dr. Lee’s words, a *most perplexing disease. At night Woohyun would be feverish, oscillating between life and death, and prone to tantrums and anguish until Sunggyu arrived. During the day, however, he would remember nothing of it, and although he remained bedridden, too weak to stand, his ghoulish appearance seemed to dissipate.

So the family had asked—again, *politely—for Sunggyu to trade his nights at home, resting in a warm and comfortable bed, for those spent pretending to be someone’s loved one.

Sunggyu sighed, placing his books on the desk near the window. He was growing used to visiting Woohyun’s room at night, leaving for class by the mornings, and returning home to eat with Ms. Jang and catch some sleep before going back to the Nam manor. Luckily, his uncle handled the family business and Sunggyu’s sister was busy touring the country with her husband and her piano recitals, but Sunggyu still felt like the busiest he had been ever since his parents died. That, in addition to the emotional labor he had to perform for the younger man, was starting to exhaust him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as a voice came from behind him.

“You’re here?” Woohyun said from the bed, barely above a whisper.

Sunggyu turned to face him. The desk where he worked most nights was set in front of the window, so he had to turn his back on Woohyun sometimes. “Yes. Did I disturb you?”

“Not at all.” Woohyun beckoned him softly with a motion of his hand. Sunggyu sat near the edge of the bed, cupping Woohyun’s hand. “I missed you.”

“You see me every day,” Sunggyu replied with a chuckle.

“Yes,” the younger man added, closing his eyes. Sunggyu stared at him. It never ceased to amaze him how fickle Woohyun’s temperament was, for he knew that if he walked out of the door at that moment, the damage to Woohyun’s heart would be comparable to digging a knife into an already mortal wound.

But right now he looked serene, almost as if the warmth from Sunggyu’s hand was the only thing he needed to survive.

He looked back at the desk. It was no more than five steps away from the bed, but the hand between his…

Sunggyu debated if he should leave his studying for another time, but then again, he had to prepare for his exams.

He then looked back to the bed and found Woohyun staring at him, a sliver of light crossing his eyes, like every time he looked at Sunggyu. Then, Sunggyu's gaze moved towards the night table and an idea crossed his mind.

“What are you thinking about?” Woohyun asked.

Sunggyu put Woohyun’s hand down as carefully as he could and stood up.

“Don’t mind me,” he told Woohyun. He took the oil lamp from the night stand and placed it on top of the high chest that was set next to the door, and then proceeded to migrate the rest of the objects on said night table to the bed. “Can you hold these for me?”

Woohyun nodded, a smile blooming on his lips as he hoarded the miscellaneous objects. Sunggyu was aware that Woohyun knew that the petition was not necessary, but still welcomed nonetheless.

When he finished, Sunggyu lifted the table and moved it to a part of the room where it would not be too obtrusive. He then walked to his *work station and, after dragging the chair aside, carefully lifted the desk. While carrying the nightstand was a matter of little importance, he found himself struggling with the heavier piece of wood. He hoped the Nams weren’t too fond of their rugs, since he found easier to lift half of it and let the other half drag, leaving a couple of marks along the way. The aforementioned five steps felt eternal, but once he placed the desk on the nightstand’s former spot, Sunggyu felt accomplished.

He took back the lamp and set it on the desk; when that task was done, he dragged the chair and slumped on it. In his mind, he took back everything he had thought about emotional labor and decided physical labor was worse. He would rather comfort a thousand dying Woohyuns than carry another table again.

A soft laugh shook him out of his reverie.

“You forgot about these ones, dear,” Woohyun said, toying with the ornaments he was asked to care for. His smile was fond, but also a little mischievous.

“Are you making fun of me?” He said, narrowing his eyes. He was still out of breath. “Or did I miss the part where you offered to help me carry this?”

“Ah, I think I’m about to faint,” Woohyun said. Sunggyu would have believed him, given his condition, but he quickly realized the farce as Woohyun closed his eyes and pretended to snore.

A laugh of disbelief escaped Sunggyu; he shook his head as he grabbed the random papers and figurines hoarded by Woohyun, and set them somewhere out of the way. When he finished, he caught Woohyun opening one eye, and cleared his throat.

“There, now that’s done…” Sunggyu trailed off, organizing the notes he was to use for studying and uncapping his fountain pen.

He glanced at Woohyun’s figure and saw the man staring back at him, his hand outstretched on the bed. With a soft scoff, Sunggyu pretended to focus on his notes as he placed his hand atop the younger man’s. Woohyun then proceeded to turn his hand around, palm up, to interlace their fingers, and closed his eyes.

Perhaps, Sunggyu admitted to himself before jumping back into the quiet world of note-taking, it was nice to have someone to hold his hand while doing mundane things.

--

One day, Sunggyu’s sister came home.

Well, to say that she was at their parents’ house would be much more accurate. Sunggyu supposed it was not much of a home nowadays. In fact, he did not know the purpose of Ms. Jang keeping the house tidy.

At any rate, Sunggyu arrived one day to find his sister sitting at the parlor, enjoying their parents’ antique liquor.

He saw her, walked down the hall, stopped, then returned to the room. “How long have you been there?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

She crossed her arms above her chest. “A week.”

Sunggyu blinked once, twice, trying to recall seeing anything different during the last few days.

“No you weren’t.” He frowned, still not convinced of his memory.

Misung, acclaimed pianist, successful business woman, and his sister five years older than him, burst into laughter. “You should see yourself!”

Sunggyu flopped on the couch in front of her, resting his head on his hands. “You’re making me question my sanity, seriously.”

“It doesn’t seem like much work these days,” she commented, standing up to fill another glass. It seemed like she had not been waiting for too long, for the bottle was still pretty full. She stopped before pouring the drink. “Wait, have you eaten?”

Sunggyu waved her off. “I grabbed something on the way back from school,” he said. “So, did you arrive this morning? Where’s your husband?”

Misung offered him the cup. “Jinwoo is back on his lab. You know how he gets about his bugs.”

Sunggyu nodded, sipping from his drink. His sister’s relationship was always fascinating for him. How could a woman so dedicated to her craft, to her piano, ever marry a man so concerned with scientific matters? And what was more intriguing, he did not mind following her around the country when she toured; it was also an opportunity to analyze and collect specimens. He was a great artist too, and his published anthologies of entomology proved it. Perhaps the sciences and the arts weren’t as against odds as Sunggyu had once thought, and they were the couple to prove it.

“So, how long are you staying?” he asked.

“We haven’t decided yet. I’m taking a break, and Jinwoo needs plenty of time to put together all the data he’s gathered these couple of months.” Misung shrugged, set her glass aside and reached forward to touch Sunggyu. Here it was, the moment he was waiting for. “Besides, I’ve heard a couple of things about my baby brother that sound rather unbelievable.”

Sunggyu cleared his throat, grimacing. “All good things, I suppose.”

“That depends,” Misung replied. “I heard you’re frequenting the Nam family a lot these days, helping out their middle child on his recovery.”

Child. That was a funny word to describe Woohyun. Sunggyu recalled the feverish tantrums and wondered if they were akin to a boy’s. But he also recalled the yearning glances, the soft touches, and decided that Woohyun was fully capable of love that was greater than a child’s, and perhaps not as innocent.

Then again, Sunggyu had not met the other Woohyun, the Woohyun who did not know or care for him, so this was all speculation.

“I’m just doing them a favor. Remember I was friends with Boohyun when we were in school?”

“Yes, but,” she paused, sitting next to him, “this is rather extreme, don’t you think? Ms. Jang tells me you’re spending every night at their place. You barely live here anymore. I haven’t seen you care this much since…”

“Since our parents, yes,” Sunggyu added, clearing his throat. “And look how that turned out.”

He stared at his glass, waiting for it to give him answers to questions he couldn’t even ask. So he took a swing and drank its contents at once. He heard Misung sigh.

“It’s hard to explain. I’d rather show you,” he said, wiping his mouth. “Let me take a nap and you’ll see for yourself when we visit them tonight.”

--

“What did you do to this poor man?”

When Sunggyu, his sister, and his brother in law arrived to the Nam manor—later than usual, since Misung had insisted on having dinner at home first, since she had missed Ms. Jang’s cooking—the screams were audible from the entrance.

“I keep telling you, I didn’t even know him before this.” Sunggyu gave a look of despair to the maid holding his coat, who replied with the same look. He recognized her from the times she brought him coffee while he was cramming for exams at night. She was nice.

Above the noise, the sound of steps down stairs could be heard, and soon Yein’s frame appeared on the landing above the first flight of stairs.

“Oh, thank god you’re here,” she said, distracted, but stopped when she saw that Sunggyu had brought company. For a second, Sunggyu thought that she would be embarrassed and felt ashamed. He should’ve sent word in first to make sure he had permission to bring his sister and her husband. Perhaps the Nams wanted to keep this matter private.

But then all his concerns dissipated when she widened her eyes and rushed forward to meet them. Some would say she flew down the stairs until she was in front of them, or more precisely, in front of Misung.

“I never thought I would meet you in person!” she exclaimed, holding Misung's hand between her own. “I’m in love with your musical pieces! I’ve gone to all your concerts! And I love your hair! I’ve always wanted to cut it short like you, and wear trousers, but my mom doesn’t approve of it, but I think it’s very stylish and sophisticated and—”

“You’re very sweet,” Misung interrupted her, laughing softly. Her cheeks started to redden.

Yein’s face mirrored hers as she dropped the hand and rubbed her palms on her high-collared dress. She bowed, her hands crossed in front of her. “Where are my manners? I’m so rude. My name is Nam Yein, and I’m very pleased to have you here in our home.”

‘Very pleased’ sounded like an understatement to Sunggyu, who raised a brow. At least he was not in trouble for bringing his family to the Nam house yet.

A dull, heavy sound of something hitting the floor upstairs shook him out of his musings. He looked up, startled like the rest of the people in the room, and then looked at Yein.

“Sorry for being late,” he said, wanting to ask what to do about his family, but not knowing how.

Luckily, Yein seemed to understand his dilemma. “It’s no problem. You know he gets like that sometimes,” she dismissed with a wave. “Why don’t you go upstairs while I serve some tea for your family? I could show you our piano as well. It's very pretty, and my father used to play.”

"That would be nice," Misung replied.

Sunggyu looked at his sister, who nodded. “Thank you, Yein.”

--

He could hear the sobs from the hallway.

When he burst into the room, Sunggyu found Boohyun holding on to his younger brother, who lied in bed, babbling hysterically, delirious. Once more, like every night, Sunggyu’s name escaped his lips time and time again. The Nam matriarch sat in a chair far back, sobbing quietly.

“I’m sorry for—for taking so long, I’m—” Sunggyu stumbled over his words. He sighed and rubbed his face, mentally counting down from ten to try again. “I’m here.”

He stared at Mrs. Nam, but soon enough, Woohyun turned Sunggyu’s attention back to him. The younger Nam pushed himself out of Boohyun’s embrace, trying to get up despite his brother’s protests. Sunggyu strode into the room and replaced Boohyun.

“I’m here,” Sunggyu repeated, tensing when Woohyun wrapped his arms around him and rested his face on Sunggyu’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

Something, he did not know what, twisted in his chest as he felt Woohyun’s sobs wrecking through his body, making him tremble in Sunggyu’s arms. Sunggyu could feel his tears against the crook of his neck, the extreme warmth of his body, feverous like always.

Sunggyu saw from the corner of his eye that Mrs. Nam stood up, quickly drying her tears with a handkerchief that she put back into her dress pocket when she was done. “We’re glad you’ve come, at last.”

But he couldn’t respond, for a sorrow so deep that he couldn’t utter a word had set on him, paralyzing him as Woohyun grabbed onto him, still crying. It was as if Woohyun, through the impossible closeness to his body, was transmitting all the negative emotions, all the longing, and all the completely misplaced devotion. Sunggyu shuddered.

“Please stop it,” he mumbled with difficulty. “Don’t cry like that.” But Woohyun remained in his position, although his sobs became quieter. At some point, he heard the Nam family leave the room and close the door behind them. “I really don’t know what to do if you cry like that.”

He couldn’t help it then; a couple of tears escaped from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks quietly. A couple more followed, and sometime later, Sunggyu found himself silently sobbing as he held onto Woohyun as the younger man slept off his fever, relaxed on his hold and unaware of the ache he had awakened in Sunggyu.

Sunggyu missed his parents.

Once he felt himself lifted from the crying spell to which he had been subjected, he shifted around to set Woohyun on the bed and sat next to him. Woohyun looked peaceful when he slept—almost as a complete stranger, one who was not the victim of a cruel delirium and who had not dragged people into his madness. He looked handsome.

Sunggyu wheezed from silent laughter when he realized the direction to which his thoughts were straying. Stood up. Walked around. Fanned himself. He hoped no one would notice what had transpired in the room.

Once he made sure Woohyun would not wake up, Sunggyu opened the door. Looking back into the room, he closed it as softly as it could.

--

Woohyun woke up two more times during the night, but at least he looked calmer. Affectionate as always. Sunggyu had introduced his sister and his brother-in-law to him, although he was sure Woohyun would not remember them by the morning.

But they did remember him.

“I have to say, brother, that if anyone saw you two together without any of the information we have, they would say you have been in love for longer than humanity has existed,” her sister said to him the next day, as she, her husband and Sunggyu ate together.

Sunggyu grunted, hiding himself behind his glass as he drank from it. “He’s quite”—he struggled to find the correct word— “intense. That's all I can say about this matter”

Misung chewed on her steak. “Yes, but…” she paused, glancing at her husband, who nodded in encouragement. Sunggyu narrowed his eyes; their actions indicated a previous discussion. “From an outsider’s perspective, you do look like you care a great deal for him, too.”

Sunggyu stared at her.

“Like you depend on him as much as he depends on you,” Jinwoo supplied, rather unhelpfully—in Sunggyu’s opinion.

“I—I just pity him,” Sunggyu replied, shaking his head. He stared at his plate. “You don’t know what it’s like to be suffering from that illness.”

At that, Misung sighed. “I know what this is about.” She put down her eating utensils and took a sip from her glass. Both men on the table watched her. “This is about our parents.”

Sunggyu sighed. “I knew this was coming.”

“Oh, did you?” she asked, letting her husband take her hand while staring at Sunggyu. “Tell me, then, what gave it away.”

“Don’t be like that. You know what I mean.” In response, only her silence aded. “You are the one comparing both issues, not I.”

“So you don’t feel like nurse Sunggyu, keeping a death watch?” She asked. “Be honest. I know you might be doing it to rid yourself of the guilt of what happened to our parents, but it would be better if you stepped away.”

What bothered him the most weren’t her words, but rather, the flat tone she had used to deliver them, as if she had solved a puzzle. As if he had asked for her condescension. He pushed his chair back, ready to leave the conversation.

“Don't talk to me about guilt,” he said as he stood up. He drank the last wine on his glass in one gulp, and once it was empty, took the bottle with him. “At least I did something for them. They were long gone by the time you got here.”

Sunggyu knew that it was one of her insecurities and something that had strained their relationship before, but he couldn’t help the bile that rose from the depths of his insides and made him spit those words. He heard Misung inhale sharply, but did not look at her. Behind him, the rustle of fabric and wood moving echoed, along with soft hushes from Jinwoo, and yet, Sunggyu only walked away.

--

A couple of days after their argument, Misung left with the excuse to visit their uncle. Sunggyu bid her farewell with a half-hearted hug. Her husband stayed behind.

Things went normal for a while after that, or at least, as normal as the circumstances allowed them. ‘Nurse Sunggyu’, as his sister had dubbed him, kept Woohyun company—or perhaps Woohyun kept Sunggyu company as the older man studied his nights away. On some occasions, Woohyun hummed an unfamiliar song. He had a nice voice, throaty and raspy and at times out of tune. That did not stop him. Other times, he remained quiet as he stared at Sunggyu with half-lidded eyes, holding Sunggyu's left hand.

And then, one night, everything ended.

Sunggyu rubbed his eyes, ready to leave his writing for another time, when he felt a tugging on his hand. He looked to his side and saw Woohyun looking at him as he often did, with his eyes almost closed, wet eyelashes, and his mouth parted, as if staring at Sunggyu and at a faraway place at the same time. He looked very a corpse, pale and devoid of life.

But his hand was warm—uncomfortably so.

Sunggyu jumped up and grabbed the towel he had changed not too long ago, finding it almost too hot for touch. After pressing his palm against Woohyun’s forehead and deciding that his fever was indeed worse than usual, he dipped the towel in the icy water they always kept nearby and placed it back on Woohyun’s skin. Then, when the man showed no sign of comfort, he bit his lower lip.

“I might have to call someone,” he thought aloud, but Woohyun made an attempt to respond with a feeble whine. Sunggyu shook his head to dismiss him, and pulled the covers off from him. Woohyun started shivering immediately. “Or perhaps we’ll have to go to more extreme measures.”

He stood up, pacing around, until an idea came to him.

“I won’t be out for too long,” he told Woohyun, pushing him to stay in bed when the man attempted to follow. He proceeded to run down the hallway. It was not long until he found Mrs. Nam nodding off in a sofa downstairs, a lady’s magazine spread on her lap.

He bit his lip again, but decided to awaken her. She nearly jumped off her seat when she received the news, rushing upstairs with Sunggyu trailing close behind and yelling to her employees. Yein opened her bedroom door when she heard the commotion, rubbing her eyes, and Sunggyu remembered Boohyun had gone out of the city for a business matter.

“Help prepare the bathtub,” Mrs. Nam told Yein when the young girl approached them, covering her sleepwear with a robe. “Make sure the water is cold. Put ice on it if you have to.”

She entered her son’s bedroom, placing another lamp on a table to better illuminate the room. While she wondered aloud where they had left the thermometer, Sunggyu took his usual seat next to Woohyun’s bed and changed the towel again. In the bowl, the water was warming at an alarming rate.

Once Mrs. Nam found the thermometer and Sunggyu made way for her, he thought of riding off to find the doctor, but one look at Woohyun made him stay. This could be the night he died, Sunggyu thought to himself, looking away when Mrs. Nam’s hands interlaced with her son’s. Something compelled him to stay.

He went out the room, called the first male servant he found awake, and send him off to call for the doctor. He had no authority in the house, but at least the young man understood the situation—and the compensation Sunggyu had to give him for the troubles—enough to rush off without complaints.

On his way back, he bumped into Yein. Her head was tied back in a sloppy bun, her sleeves rolled back. It reminded him of the first time they met and he saw her taking care of her brother.

“The bath is ready,” she said. Sunggyu understood the silent request immediately. Woohyun would not be able to walk on his own, and although Sunggyu was not sure he could carry the other man, he was at least willing to try.

It was indeed a difficult task, half-dragging and half-carrying Woohyun down the corridor, but Yein helped with some of the weight. When they reached the bathroom and managed to rest Woohyun against the tub, Yein looked back, a bit worried.

“I should go see to my mother,” she said, “she’s in a rather agitated state and I'm afraid she'll faint. Can I leave him with you?”

Sunggyu nodded, half-hugging a rather unresponsive Woohyun. “Yes, of course. I’ve already called for the doctor.”

Yein sighed, but it sounded almost like a sob. Sunggyu wondered if the thought had crossed her mind for the first time. “Thank you,” she said, biting her bottom lip. “Figures, the night Boohyun is out of town.”

Sunggyu reached forward and squeezed her shoulder. He hoped she would not blame herself if the worst happened. In the poorly-illuminated bathroom, she looked small and young.

“Why don’t you see to your mother? And maybe when you’re done you can bring a change of clothes for him,” he said, resting Woohyun’s head against his shoulder.

Yein nodded and set off, and then Sunggyu looked back at the man on his arms. He was somewhat sitting on the edge of the bathtub, like a ragdoll. Sunggyu realized then that he would have to take off Woohyun’s nightshirt. He huffed, but set out to do his task nonetheless. However, an unfortunate attempt to maneuver the man’s unwilling body sent them both into the tub, icy water splashing everywhere.

Sunggyu sputtered, feeling the cold water seep into his clothes, and jumped off the tub as fast as he could. He heard Woohyun gasp, attempting to do the same, but Sunggyu managed to hold him back. At least it seemed like the cold had shocked him back to life.

“I’m sorry,” he rushed to say, placing a hand on Woohyun’s chest. His white nightshirt was soaked, and at least part of his body remained submerged in whatever was left of the water in the tub. “I’m so sorry, forgive me, I didn’t mean to drop you like that. Are you hurt?”

Woohyun’s teeth started clattering, but he shook his head. Sunggyu hoped that meant he was forgiven, so he couldn’t help the little smile that bloomed on his face. Woohyun hugged himself, sliding down the tub and let out a shuddering breath.

At least the fever seemed to go down, Sunggyu thought to himself as he touched Woohyun’s forehead. The strange pressure in his chest became present when Woohyun leaned on the touch. Against his better judgement, he moved his palm to caress the man’s wet, black hair, tangling his fingers into the grown mane. Woohyun relaxed into the touch, as if melting down. Sunggyu observed him; observed the pointed noise, the hollow cheeks, the fabric clinging to his body, and also floating in the water, and recognized that the odd sensation in his chest felt a lot like hunger.

So he pulled his hand away.

But before he could fully distance himself, Woohyun grabbed him by the arm. Sunggyu had not seen it coming—the strength or the touch, or the moment Woohyun had sat up. Maybe time moved at a different rate for each one of them.

“When this is all over,” the young man rasped out, “when this is all over, will you still love me the same?”

His voice, Sunggyu was sure, was barely above a whisper, but in Sunggyu’s head it had rung louder than anything he had ever heard. It took him what seemed like centuries to register the words.

He looked into Woohyun’s dark eyes and decided that he could not bring himself to lie. Whatever the outcome of this night was, his conviction would remain the same.

“Yes.”

--

Sunggyu wished he could say that something extraordinary happened after that, that the big confession had rocked something deep within him and shaken both of the men involved to their core. But when he finally found his bed that morning, after the doctor arrived and administered medicine to lower Woohyun’s fever, all he felt was exhaustion.

No, the extraordinary thing came later that night.

As he stepped outside, ready to climb into his coach to go to the Nam's manor--a bit later than usual, for he had some matters to attend to at his school--a letter with the seal of said family arrived. It read,

 

Dear Sunggyu

I hope this letter finds you well and on time. It is my pleasure to say that I’ve recovered almost miraculously after last night. This morning I was even able to walk. My family has told me what you’ve done for me, since I cannot remember anything from my awful time of illness. And while I am thankful, I say that your attentions will not be necessary anymore, so I ask for you not to come.

It would save us both a great deal of time and embarrassment.

Greetings,

Nam Woohyun.