It was the tenth time today. Hara reached out to the top of the cabinet with ease and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. She was always a little taller than the average twenty-something years old girl who had stopped growing. As she leaned over and sat next to the sink, she looked at the reflection in the glass – a big doe-eyed girl who looked a little too sad for a Sunday morning.

 

It was the tenth time today, she counted. The tenth time she thought about him. The tenth time she reached for a drink to forget. On normal days, she could just bury herself in work, travel, shopping – all the lavish lifestyle provided by her well-to-do family. Her very well-to-do family.

 

She felt lucky, of course. Her father was the owner of world-famous chain boutique hotels, and shareholder of CJ and Lotte Group. Her late mother was once a Runner-up of Miss Korea back in the 80s. So that explained the mix of good looks and wealth. But compared to her group of friends – the elite of Yongsan International School of Seoul – she was not as smart, athletic, nor funny. She was just her. The only virtue was her face. Pretty, they said.

 

Hara had never known what he saw in her. What exactly it was that he loved her so, that he was willing to give her so much. But that kind of joy didn’t last very long – as it was known none of the first love was forever. Hers was like that. It burnt her youth in a bright light, encompassing her with such love that she had forgotten what it was like to feel alone, and then left her in a painful aftermath.

 

Very, very painful aftermath.

 

* * *

 

Eighteen years-old Hara was never worried about her future. She knew exactly what to do, where to go, because her family gave her no other choice but to submit. When she graduated, she would go to either New York or London, spend a few years studying business and then come back with a good degree. She had never thought of romantic relationship, either. That, too, had been or would be decided by her parents.

 

So she had the privilege to live life day-by-day, floating around, dreamy thoughts. Something her childhood friend hated. Kim Joonmyun. The biggest enigma of her life. She hated him, but she didn’t dislike him. Like, he was always there when she was sad. The first person to appear whenever she cried (largely to mock her until she stopped crying and got into a fistfight with him). One of the few to celebrate her birthday every year.

 

Hara wasn’t sure what Joonmyun felt about her either. Sometimes she swore Joonmyun hated her. He made passive-aggressive, snide remarks about her, and none-so-discreetly sometimes. He constantly stole her food when he was filthy rich and could probably afford to buy ten school cafeterias himself. He made funny jokes at her expense (they were dry jokes, which he never understood why she hated it).

 

She had asked Luhan before. Ah. Sweet, ol’ gentle Luhan. The exchange student from China. The notoriously private nephew of the current president of his country. Despite his silence and occasional laziness, Luhan fit in well with Hara’s group of friends the moment he moved in. To Hara, Luhan was all-knowing. Though really, sometimes, he just appeared to be so without actually being so.

 

“I don’t know, Darling, maybe he likes you,” was his simple answer. Hara often lamented over the fact that he was never into woman. And if he was, he would be a total catch. But life was never fair that way. “You know how boys are. They are mean to the one they like.”

 

She almost burst out laughing. Kim Joonmyun liking her was akin to saying should be legalised and fish could fly. But then again, it was so horrifying and impossible that she never thought of it at all. She stole a look at the said-man who sat a table away with their other friends, Byun Baekhyun, the loner, and Kang Seulgi, the cheerful journalist. Their table was oddly filled with such contrasting personalities but managed to still blend in well together despite of the differences.

 

Sensing her gaze, Joonmyun turned around and crooked his eyebrows at her, ruining that fair, childlike face and turned his expression devilish. He was beautiful that way. Always beautiful that way. There was a reason why the man had never stayed a bachelor for more than four-months. Skin fair as snow, lips red as cherry. He looked like an angel when he wasn’t speaking. Or so she thought.

 

“What?” He narrowed his eyes because he knew they were talking about him. About what – he cared not. He just liked fishing for reaction. Hara never failed to amuse him with her countless expressions. She could go from mad to sad to happy – from one extreme to the other.

 

She quickly shook her head like a deer caught in the headlight and turned her big, wide-eyes to Luhan, who chuckled at such obvious display of guilt. Luhan was hypersensitive to things. He knew things when he saw one. It wasn’t hard to see why. Everyone was in love with Hara except Hara herself.

 

“What are you hiding, Hara? Your expression just gave it away, ,” Joonmyun smirked, inciting a deep, annoyed frown from the girl. She was scared, but she was not a coward, especially not against Kim Joonmyun, “Who are you calling ‘’, Idiot? What we talked about was none of your business.”

 

“Oh, stop it, guys,” Seulgi chirped in with a smile. “You guys are so cute together. Maybe you should date. ‘Make love, not war’, you know.”

 

“Over my dead body,” Joonmyun rolled his eyes. Hara was equally pissed, glaring at him as she would to a mortal enemy. “As if I would ever date this man-child. Urgh, I would be babysitting him all the way. Shudders. We’ll get a divorce within 24-Hours.”

 

Baekhyun stole a look at Hara and tilted his head, watching as the comedic duo continued glaring at each other. He had known that both Joonmyun and Hara had the longest running love-and-hate relationship. He was a witness since their kindergarten days, and it hadn’t stopped now that they were seniors in high school. Seulgi chuckled, “Well you never know. Today you are fighting, but tomorrow, you might be falling in love and getting married.”

 

Joonmyun scrunched up his nose like he was disgusted with the idea. But deep inside, he was thinking of something else. The idea itself was excruciating. So much that he wanted to barf. But not because he hated it. More so because he knew it just wouldn’t happen. Never. He stole another look at Hara and sighed. They were childhood friend. That was the extent of it. Nothing less and nothing more. Forever drawn by a boundary of memories.

 

* * *

 

October was autumn. The falling leaves on her courtyard was beautiful – a mix of yellow, dark brown colour. Her father was never much of an artsy person. His home was spacious, minimalist and monochromatic, but Hara had her late mother to thank for these rows of Ginkgo trees in the yard. They made her feel less lonely when her father was away for business trips. Like her mother was still there. It made home feel a little warmer and more welcoming.

 

Today, like years before, she contracted cold. It happened whenever the breeze got colder during the autumn-winter months. On several occasions, it was so bad she had to stay home for an entire three-days, lying in bed without a caretaker. On those days, Joonmyun was her only company. She knew just the person to dial when she was sick. His number was the only one she memorised out of her head. And when she reached for her phone, it was like a reflex movement to key in his number.

 

“I’m busy,” His rough, hoarse voice greeted her. There was a low-tone melancholy that only he possessed. He didn’t say ‘hi’, didn’t greet her sweet-anything. He was always harsh. At first. On the background, she could hear laughter of both genders and her heart sank a little. He was truly busy. And as much as she needed help, she didn’t want to bother him.

 

“Where are you, Idiot?” She asked, concealing the sore throat and cough. But a sniff sneakily came out. And she quickly breathed in as deeply as she could and buried half of her head inside the blanket. There was silence from the other end.

 

“What happens to you?” His voice was sharp, judging. In that moment, she swore she was close to tears. Her eyes were moist from the flu. The grogginess from self-medicine wasn’t helping either. More laughter could be heard, until the noise faded out. He must have stepped outside from wherever he was. There was silence again from both ends. Now she was scratching her head on things to say.

 

“Nothing much. Just a little bit hungry. I was gonna ask you about the Dumplings you brought over last time. Which stall did you get it from?” The lie was smooth, flawless. Or so she thought. Kim Joonmyun wasn’t psychic, so he couldn’t possibly know.

 

“Oh. Don’t call me just for that,” He sounded coy again. For a moment, Hara thought he would hang up. Then she would go back to sleep and he would be free to continue doing whatever he was doing. It would all feel just like… a very long dream. “My Grandmother made some and gave it to us. I’ll tell her you like it. I’m sure she’ll make more for you.”

 

“How’s Grandmother?” She asked. Hara had met her twice during friendly dinners, and she was the fiercest, most badass grandmama she had ever encountered. Hara had never met one of her own, and drawn to her sob story, Joonmyun’s Grandmother quickly bonded with her over their love of anything oriental and Eastern food. “Please don’t trouble her. I’m sure she’s already getting unnecessary headache from you.”

 

“Pfft,” He panted. Hara raised her eyebrows. “As if. I have to go now. It’s autumn, wear thicker clothes and stop sleeping like a pig.”

 

Before she got to answer, the line went dead. He had hung up. As expected of Kim Joonmyun. She sniffed and went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Someone was buzzing the doorbell non-stop and it was giving her the worst headache of her life. She grabbed her thick, furry blanket and dragged it down the stairs, planning to sleep on the couch after fending off the unwanted stranger. Then she saw Joonmyun’s anxious face on the glass window. On his hand was a giant plastic bag. He wasn’t dressed much for the weather, just a thin T-shirt and white pants.

 

Joonmyun was shivering a little. Hara just froze there, not knowing what to do. She didn’t even know what to think. Of everyone she could think of, Joonmyun always answered to her call, no matter hell or high water. Whether it was gratefulness or something more, she wasn’t sure. He was here. For her. Her father neglected her for work, and she was so used to being alone, but Joonmyun. Oh God, Joonmyun was always an exception.

 

“Open the door!” He knocked and mouthed, eyebrows almost V, and his expression annoyed. Hara woke up from her vapour and immediately unlocked the window. Joonmyun left his shoes outside and jumped in without any socks on, hissing about how cold it was standing outside. Hara stayed silent, her eyes watching him.

 

Inside his plastic bag, were two giant bowls of piping hot noodles and some ginseng chicken. Her heart warmed up and they both sat down on the long dining table, with a distance that was neither close nor far. His eyes darted from top to bottom and sighed, “You’re sick. You should have taken care of yourself better. Come here and eat.”

 

“I don’t need to be fed,” was Hara’s automatic response. She immediately regretted it after, but she saw Joonmyun’s casual face and felt better.

 

“No one is doing it, . You have two hands and I’m hungry, too,” He muttered and immediately munched down on his food without waiting for her to reply. From his response, it was clear that he had been starved for a while and the food was bringing him immense comfort. To Hara, who had her sense of taste numbed from the cold, she didn’t know how delicious the noodle was, but it was the best meal she had ever had in her life.

 

“Where were you just now?”

 

He paused for a while. Like he was trying to find an excuse. Or maybe trying to imagine the situation he got out from. “Just some meeting with my parents. It’s nothing important.”

 

Hara nodded and continued munching down on her noodles. The two ate in silence and she let the dirty dishes sat on the sink as they both made way to the living room. She felt that this had happened so many times before. This kind of peace. Just the two of them, watching the leaves falling from different sides of the room. Sometimes she felt that Joonmyun hated her guts and wanted her gone. This wasn’t one of that time. This was the time when they got along and he allowed her to see his caring side, his vulnerability.

 

Wrapping the blanket into a ball, she closed her eyes and leaned onto the couch, muttering quietly to herself, “Kim Joonmyun, you are weird.”

 

She never knew if he ever responded, but in that distant dream, she heard a reply. A very distinctive, familiar voice that echoed inside her mind, “That’s because I care about you, Dummy.” She also never knew that he just took a taxi from the suburban area, angering both her parents because he forcefully ran away from an important business meeting with their future partner. She didn’t know he ran around the Chinatown area to get her some noodles and herb chicken. She didn’t know the sacrifices he made just for her. She was Oh Hara. She shouldn’t know. And Kim Joonmyun wanted to keep it that way.

 

* * *

 

Hara and Joonmyun ended up going to Warwick for different courses. She was going for Accounting and Finance – a subject she was never really good at, and Joonmyun would be studying Economics – to continue his family’s business. When their families knew they were going to the same place, they rented flats that stood side-by-side, the windows so close it looked like a cheesy movie scene.

 

Hara’s father liked Kim Joonmyun and the power his family had, but not to the extent of considering them as potential in-laws. His family was old-rich, their lines descended from the Royals of South Korea decades ago. Hara’s father, on the other hand, only accumulated their wealth when his great-grandfather started a small hotel in Jeju Island, which later expanded worldwide as the generation passed by and the family grew bigger. Their families had mixed around with other socialites all over the world, and this was something Joonmyun’s father disliked – the purity of the blood ruined by foreigners. This was why even as neighbours, the Kim and the Oh were cordial and friendly, but there was a line they could never cross.

 

The day they moved in, Joonmyun made sure to put up this funny raining-doll on the divider between their windows. It was the traditional Japanese white paper doll with smiling face. When asked why, he said it reminded him of her. The pale white face, the stupid smiling lips. Everything he liked, but never admitted. Hara, being easily agitated as usual, simply shut down the window and refused to even look at it.

 

They no longer had to communicate through text messages. They simply knocked on the window and talked whenever they wanted. It made everything easier. Though sometimes Hara felt like they lived in a Taylor Swift-parallel dimension. Since moving to Warwick, their relationships had improved tremendously.

 

He no longer made snide remarks or mean comments. He didn’t call her ‘’ anymore, and she, too, had stopped calling him ‘Idiot’ ever since. Instead, he called her ‘Red’, and when asked why, he said her name always reminded him of Scarlett Oh Hara from Gone with the Wind. Scarlett red. Fiery like her. So bright he was scared if he dared touch it, he would burn himself.

 

One day, right by the end of November, he knocked on her window with a rare smile. Hara swore nowadays, she felt a little weird whenever she looked at him. He was bad before, so she had every reason to convince herself she disliked him. But now. Now it was different. She didn’t know what to feel anymore. Especially when he smiled at her. It was almost… too much for her heart. Poor heart, she had to calm it down with much difficulty.

 

It was ten-minutes past midnight. The street was brightly lit with preparation for Christmas market. She had just come back from a college party, dressed in knee-slit dress and thick coat, bright red lipstick, smoky eyes. Joonmyun paused for a while as he searched for her face. He had known she was beautiful. The kind people would fight for. But there was just something there – something that whenever he looked at it, he would forget everything else.

 

“Yeah?” Hara asked, burping a little. The smell of alcohol hit him and he winced a little.

 

“Do you not realise what today is?” He raised his eyebrows with that judging look, the same one she remembered since childhood. He had this quirk of smirking sarcastically whenever he was judging her, looking both hot and annoying. Hara looked at him, puzzled, neither nodding nor shaking her head. He was sitting on his window sill, one hand holding the handle, the other appeared with a wine bottle. He took out two glasses and started pouring for himself and for Hara.

 

“What’s the occasion?” She asked, puzzled, but received the drink nonetheless.

 

“Happy Birthday to the most clueless girl I’ve ever known,” Joonmyun smirked and clanked his glass, gulping it down within a single sip. A look of realisation dawned on her as she too, drank the whole thing down. He snatched the glass and put it back on the floor, and took out a bouquet of glass rose. “Now, for the final gift, look at this.” He leaned in closer and grabbed onto her hands. Her heart started beating faster as her doe eyes stared at him in anticipation, unblinking.

 

The plain glasses slowly lit up, from the stem to the petal. And it was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. Hara thought the sky, the stars, fireworks, city lights were beautiful, but nothing compared to this gift. Her hands shook a little. And like a dejavu, she stared at him, eyes moist, and asked in a small, mosquito-like voice, “Why are you so nice to me?”

 

She burped again, and stumbled into the window sill, almost falling down. Joonmyun swore his heart almost stopped as he caught her head and shoulder just in time. Hara herself didn’t realise the danger she got herself in and closed her eyes in bliss. She was dead drunk. He sighed and chuckled a little as he leaned forward to tug her inside, before jumping over.

 

Oh Hara. The Scarlett Oh Hara. What would she do without him?

 

He carried her into the attic bed and watched as she purred in her sleep, calling his name even in her sleep. He sighed in adoration and knelt down next to the bed, brushing her hair and whispered to her, “I will do… anything just for you, Red.”