“One more bottle for this table!”, the waiter shouted to the counter as he cleaned up the empty plates and bottles on the table. It was a Monday night, the barbecue restaurant’s sales were usually low at this time, but the waiter thought it would be different, since the running bill of the customers he was serving currently could cover up to three groups of their usual customers at least.

“And one more,” one of the customers said and paused for a hiccup, “plate of your most expensive beef! I’ll get wasted toniiiiight!”, he asked the waiter before he left, taking note of the order.

The other man on the table – the sober one – just chugged on his iced tea. He needs to drive home so he was avoiding all the alcohol they ordered so far. He shook his head as he just watched his drunk friend, taking another shot of the soju and a piece of the burnt meat. It was bitter and all, just like his state of mind.

“Hyung, you should really stop this. Talk it out with him before things get worse.”, he said calmly.

Mark just looked at him. He may be tipsy, but he still could understand his friend’s words. “Worse? We’re already at our worst now, so why bother his time…”

“But he is your boyfriend. You’re practically living like a domestic, married couple ever since you were just starting university, even on those years before that. I’m pretty sure you know each other a lot already, and if you keep this up, he won’t like it.” Yugyeom said his facts. He sighed and immediately took a piece of the beef that was just served on their table, and opened the bottle of soju, pouring himself some shots. He decided to just call a driver, he doesn’t want Mark to get anymore drunk. There was silence for a while, Mark wasn’t moving at all at his seat as he just stared at his empty glass.

“A domestic, married couple that is about to face a divorce.”, Mark said, breaking the silence. He looked at Yugyeom then, his eyes were teary and smiled bitterly, “That’s what we are.”

 

 

“Yugyeom said Mark hyung is still doing okay, but they should leave in a while. You sure you don’t want to go home tonight?”, Youngjae spoke after putting back the phone in his pocket, then handing his papers to his mentor. There wasn’t any answer from the other man in the room, just a heavy sigh as he took the papers, reviewing it but could not comprehend anything. He groaned to himself and placed them on his table, massaging his temples.

“Right, we should finish the final scripts today. I guess Mark hyung could use my room for now. We still have our sober housemates to clean his mess up… just in case…”, Youngjae said quickly before leaving to his own cubicle.

Jinyoung finally got up from his seat, taking the papers again as he walked to the window, trying to read and review them but his mind was floating. He took his phone and no messages were received. He opened it and navigated to his KakaoTalk chat with his boyfriend, before changing his mind and just closed his phone again.

“I need to clear my mind.”, Jinyoung said across the room as he walked out, the papers still in his hand. He went to the nearest bench and took a seat, trying to distract himself by reviewing again the script that his intern had gave him. He succeeded in understanding the first few scenes, but his mind was blocked again as he came across a certain one.

 

Jaekyung: You love me, right?

Ilwoo just nodded and was still holding onto Jaekyung’s hand, tears falling.

Jaekyung: Then why can’t you let me go even though I’m obviously hurting? You’re just seeing the things that you wanted to see.

 

Jinyoung took a deep breath and slid the papers inside the folder, mumbling to himself, “I told him not to get so dramatic why does he have to put it that way.”, then he stood up once again to go back to the office. Youngjae was startled in his seat since he wasn’t expecting Jinyoung to come in anytime soon and was surprised when his team leader had placed the papers back on his table.

“I’ll continue reviewing this, but please consider changing some scenes. We don’t need a drama every time.”, Jinyoung said and went back to his table then to check his emails instead.

It was already past two in the morning when Jinyoung had decided to go home. Youngjae had stayed late since he snuck in his thesis writing (and to remind Jinyoung from time to time that he’s spacing out again), so they got off together – and given that public transportation would be difficult for those who are going to the university dorm, Jinyoung decided to drive Youngjae as well.

“And probably pick up your boyfriend?”, Youngjae added when Jinyoung made the offer.

“Yes, of course. Mark has his… preference of hangover soup in the morning.”, Jinyoung said as they talked along their way.

When they arrived, Yugyeom was still surprisingly up. He pointed at his bedroom when Jinyoung looked at him, gesturing that the main reason why he was there is in that room.

Mark was peacefully asleep; his hair was already covering his eyes. Jinyoung had always told Mark not to wear caps since it covers most of his face, and he told him once, “You’re too handsome just for your face to get hidden.” He chuckled at that memory and he brushed off some of his fringe, his hand caressing his boyfriend’s cheek. Mark lets out a low groan and just hugged his pillow tighter, his brows furrowed.

“Mark, I’m here. Let’s go home.”, he calmly said, and it was enough for Mark to open his eyes sleepily, his head was still throbbing. He got up slowly and looked at Jinyoung then, smiling at him.

“You actually came…”, he chuckled and laid a gentle kiss on Jinyoung’s lips. The other one did not mind how bitter his (still) tipsy boyfriend’s lips had tasted, he still loved it.

“Let’s have a glass of water before we drive home. You can continue your sleep on our ride, I’ll keep it slow.”

Mark then shook his head, “Just drive fast so we can go home and sleep together.”, he said and smiled afterwards, his fingers fiddling with his.

That smile. Those eyes. His touch. His gentle kiss.

I am in love with him. He’s still in love with me. What was I worrying for?

 

The soup was already overflowing from the pot and Jinyoung had to run to kitchen to turn the stove off. He quickly served it a bowl of rice and set it on the table before going back to the bedroom, gently waking Mark up. The older one opened his eyes slowly; his gaze was different from last night. It seemed like he was rather restless, even though it was almost 12 noon and he had a good night’s sleep.

“Your hangover meal is ready.”, Jinyoung said, smiling.

Mark just nodded and got up then, heading to the bathroom to wash himself first.

His phone had started ringing and Mark could not probably hear the tone as the shower was . His sister’s name was flashing on the screen and Jinyoung had just watched it until the screen went off and the ringing stopped. Few seconds after, the phone flashed up again with a message from the caller.

“Mark, have you thought about it? Dad wants to discuss it to you personally. Call…….”

The preview of the message was cut off but Jinyoung knows what it is all about.

 

 

 

****

 “We finally graduated, Jjinyoungie.”, Mark said as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, standing behind him. He smiled softly at the other and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “And congratulations for landing on that job immediately after graduation! You always make me proud.”

Jinyoung blushed at the compliment even though he had heard it multiple times. He turned around to face Mark, holding his hands as he looked at him in his eyes.

“I actually never expected I’ll pass the screening. I’m pretty sure there were other writers who did better job than me, you remember what Mr. Kim said about my final script during my theatre class----“, his words were cut off then when Mark just hushed him with a kiss. He chuckled at his boyfriend’s rambles and smiled.

“But you were chosen by the company. They saw your potential. I told you, Jinyoung, you always have what it takes, and you can always excel in whatever you do because that’s what you are, Jinyoung.”, Mark then cheered him up, like what he always does.

Mark stayed beside him most of the time. From deciding on which script he would submit, driving him back and forth to the company for his interviews (because he should not get sweaty and his clothes get crumpled, Mark insisted) and even though Mark pulled out an all-nighter for his final capstone project defense, he still managed to cook the “good luck” breakfast they always have when big events would happen for the day.

“Or maybe because the scrambled eggs you cooked on the day of my interview did its magic and sent me enough good luck charm, maybe that’s why I passed?”, Jinyoung said after returning Mark’s kiss on him. The older one just chuckled softly and shook his head.

“But later that night, you thought the panel did not like you because they barely even read the script you submitted. You said then maybe the eggs were too salty.”, Mark answered back.

“I was just teasing you that night. But I really expected to fail because I think I did bad.”

“Why do you always look down at yourself a lot?”

“Because I’m insecure of myself. I was never good at anything. I’m just mediocre. I am doing okay, but someone will always do better than me.”

Mark sighed, “Jinyoung, stop thinking about it and just focus on what you can do. They will never hire someone, who would just about to graduate, if they did not trust and believe in your skills.”

And it was enough for him to stop his worries.

What will I ever do without you by my side?

“Let’s have our dinner date now. We should do this more often before you start working officially.”, Mark then broke Jinyoung off from his thoughts.

 

“Should I serve the desserts now, Sir?”, the waiter asked. Mark then just nodded and smiled, before turning his eyes to Jinyoung who was just looking at him. His eyes were questioning something, and Mark kind of figured out what it was about – but never dared to ask him first.

“Your dad. He called yesterday after your ceremonies, right?”, Jinyoung carefully opened up. Mark nodded.

“Did you make a choice already?”, Jinyoung asked again, his voice a little softer.

“Let’s not just talk about this, Jinyoung.”, Mark looked back at him, his voice firm. “You know how the last one ended when I opened up this topic, so please.”, he took a deep breath then, “I’ll handle this on my own.”

When they last discussed about Mark’s plans after graduation, Jinyoung was told by his boyfriend that he had to fly back to LA to learn about their family business. It wasn’t exactly Mark’s interest – he had always wanted to build his own gaming software company – but then Mark realized that he could make use of the family business as a learning ground to start his dream. Jinyoung thought Mark might not come back to Korea at all, since knowing him, once people who are so dear to him started asking more favors, Mark could not just say no. Jinyoung feared that if Mark would not be able to convince his family about his plans and just asked him to stay for their business, he would not make it back to Seoul.

Mark convinced Jinyoung that it would not be the case. He’s firm and sure about his plans, until Mark had read Jinyoung’s mind.

Jinyoung’s afraid that Mark would leave him, and their relationship behind. Mark loves him so much, and he had to assure Jinyoung that nothing between them would ever change – but how would he know? They had never been separated ever since they started dating. They had always made ways for them to share rooms in the dormitories and even though they had different classes, they had always found a way to at least see each other. Whenever Jinyoung needs something, Mark would always find a way to make it work. He was always there for Jinyoung and he could not just leave him behind.

Their conversation just ended in silence and was never opened again until the night of their graduation dinner.

 

They just stared at each other in silence until the waiter came back to serve their desserts – a sundae for Jinyoung, a cheesecake for Mark.

“Eat before it melts.”, Mark stated and looked at his own plate then to have his own food, and he never looked up back at Jinyoung for the rest of that night.

 

*****

It’s been two months since Mark had called back his father regarding his decisions after his sister had left him a message.

He’ll leave for LA to pursue their family business. Jinyoung wasn’t aware yet of this and Mark could not find the right timing to inform him of his plans. Ever since they both graduated, Jinyoung got busy with his first job immediately. Mark had made himself occupied – hanging out with his juniors from the university most of the time. He never talked to Jinyoung about his plans which were about to happen soon. Jinyoung gets home late most of the time, and he would only leave notes for Mark along with the food he cooked for the day. Scenarios like that just happened for the past 7 months – especially when Mark would attempt to open up about his future.

Mark had enough of it.

Mark wants to be transparent of his feelings – even though it might hurt Jinyoung, as he was already hurting himself.

 

Mark did not care anymore about the timing. It was his birthday – they were celebrating with a dinner; their desserts half finished.

“Why didn’t you tell me beforehand?”, Jinyoung just quietly asked after Mark had spilled his plans. His flight will be on the first week of October.

“I was just looking for the right time. I can’t squeeze in anything since you were quite busy with your job and I know how important your first few months in the company is.”, Mark then explained.

“And you think this is any better?”, Jinyoung then asked, his tone changed. “Why are you making an excuse like you’ve been a good, considerate boyfriend wherein fact I can totally see your feelings, like you were hiding something from me. I was just waiting for you to say it.”

Mark sighed and chewed the inside of his cheeks, his jaw clenched as he looked down at his melted sundae, trying to compose himself.

“I did this because of you, Park Jinyoung.”, he said then as he looked up back at his boyfriend. “I thought, no matter when I tell you this, the result will be the same. You won’t like it either way. I don’t know why you won’t like for me to leave, to do what I want. It’s not like I’m breaking up with you or something.”

Jinyoung then just looked back at Mark, tears were welling up in his eyes. He also had to say this – there would be no perfect timings anymore between them.

“I’m scared of being alone.”, he said truthfully. “I have spent almost ten years of my life with you and I’m very sure those were the best years of my life so far, even though we argue a lot about things. But even though we had those bad times, you were always there for me and I felt like, I got used to you so much that if you would go, I’d just crumble down… like I would not know what I have to do anymore.”

Mark was just quiet all the time as he looked back into Jinyoung.

“Do you still love me? Or do you just need me?”, Mark asked then, his tone hinting a little bit of disappointment.

Jinyoung could not answer. Mark just nodded and gulped, like he was trying to hold back his own tears and emotions. He asked for the bill and just went home with Jinyoung.

The night has just become Mark’s worst birthday. Maybe timings do matter, or maybe he could not just accept the truth – that he’s tired of the fact that no matter when they would talk things out, it will only end up in nothing.

 

Two weeks after, it was Jinyoung’s birthday. There were no flowers on his bedside table, like the previous years had been. The man he had always woke up to was not beside him. He got up then and checked his phone, a lot of greetings were received but none came from his boyfriend. He sighed deeply and composed then his message.

“Let’s meet today for lunch. I have to say something.”

They were sitting in front of each other, it was quiet aside from the noise of their cutlery. Jinyoung went home for lunch, bringing some take out with him. Mark had come back then, where he went from, he did not say. Jinyoung did not ask.

“I’m planning to move apartments once you have left for LA. This place is too big for me to live alone.”, Jinyoung said, breaking the silence. His other motive was to talk about Mark’s plans in LA, and what should they do about their relationship, since it was going downhill.

“If I go back here in Seoul for a vacation, should I stay at Yugyeom’s instead?” Mark asked, not looking up from his meal.

“Yeah, I think so…”, Jinyoung mumbled. “Or at my new place, if you would want to.”

Mark then finally looked up at him, “I think it would not be the case, Jinyoung.”

Silence.

“I think, we won’t be the same anymore once I leave. Let’s face it – the issue here is not me leaving for LA, it was about me leaving your side.”, Mark stated and looked down again.

Jinyoung bit his lip, trying to speak but no words were coming out. He knows what would happen next, but he would not just admit it. He doesn’t want it to happen. Jinyoung thinks he could still mend things out.

“Let’s take a break, Jinyoung. Let’s clear our minds first.”, Mark spoke up. “I want to focus on myself too.”

Jinyoung then started crying quietly but was trying hard to calm himself.

“We can’t really make this work, then?”

Mark just looked at him, “Why are you asking me? It was you who first thought this would not work. Isn’t that the reason why we never talked about this again? The reason why I always distance myself away these days from you if I need to?”, he said, frustration evident from his voice. “I love you so much, Jinyoung. But I also got tired. It felt like as this goes on, I was just doing things to avoid hurting you, but I didn’t realize I was just hurting you and myself too.”

Jinyoung became quiet then and nodded, wiping his tears, “I’m sorry.”

Mark then answered, “I also think you should first learn how to love yourself first. The love I have shown to you – it wasn’t probably what you need.”

The day has just become Jinyoung’s worst birthday. It took a long time of avoiding, having a fear that it would end up into something that he doesn’t want to happen – but it still happened. Mark had given up on him, he already saw the signs, but he denied and brushed it off from his mind. They were not going downhill – they were already in the bottom of it.

 

It has been a month since Mark had left for LA. After Jinyoung’s birthday, Mark had started packing up all his things and stayed at Yugyeom’s dorm. They never talked again, there was no closure, but both know that they had already ended.

“Sunbae.”, Youngjae called, distracting Jinyoung from his thoughts, “I was wondering if I could finish my internship hours before the winter break. How did you squeeze in everything during your final semester? You had your research, internship, you also volunteer in the library…”, he said.

Jinyoung just looked at Youngjae and shrugged, “It wasn’t really easy though. But I think you can finish your hours before the break – just tell me if you need help and I’ll look into it.”

He paused for a while before speaking up again, “When you and that one-bite-please hyung broke up, how did you move on?”

Youngjae frowned and his brows were furrowed, “He has a name you know?” he said and sighed, “I kind of accepted the fact we won’t really last long. Jaebum hyung was just too nice to break up with me so I just ended things.”, the young man told his story sadly. “I sort of had a mentality afterwards that I deserve someone better and it wasn’t a good way to move on. I just had anger over him as days go by, asking myself why I was pushing myself to someone who doesn’t really love me. But you know I realized then, Jaebum hyung did not do anything wrong though. He tried his best to return the love I was giving, because I was asking for it. It’s not because he really loves me”, Youngjae chuckled bitterly.

Jinyoung was just listening closely and Youngjae continued, “I had realized after our break up that I became toxic. I kept on giving him the attention and all the time I have because I can, and I was expecting him to do the same”, he then looked at Jinyoung. “It was a harsh way of learning a lesson, but I improved on myself a lot after that.”

Jinyoung just looked down and sighed. Youngjae then sat down on the table so he could reach Jinyoung’s shoulder, patting it with comfort.

“Mark… when we were still friends, he was so carefree. When he failed his subjects, he was just laughing them off, but he would still try to learn from it. I was otherwise. I was harsh to myself and I hated making mistakes. Then we started dating, I did not like it whenever he tries to say that there’s always next time, that I could redeem myself – it wasn’t comforting me at all. I need someone to push me further – and so he did. He had always been there whenever I need him and I realized, I wasn’t being like to him at all. All I did was to receive all his love and I think I did not give him anything back.”, Jinyoung’s tears fell down again, then he chuckled bitterly. “I wanted to keep him for myself that I barely let him do the things he wanted to do.”

Jinyoung sobbed then, wiping his own tears, “Mark adjusted himself a lot for me until I became too dependent on him.… When it’s my time to support him, I was barely even there for him.”, he ended, breaking down to more tears.

Youngjae had just become quiet then. “What matters is that you’re realizing what went wrong. Love isn't all about give-and-take, it's beyond that. Mark probably has reasons why he had to end your relationship too. Time heals, hyung. Just think about what you are right now would be better for you, and for him.”

 

A year later, Mark has been appointed as one of the board of directors in his father’s business, and it was a difficult work more than he was expecting.

It was past 9 in the evening and Mark was still in his office, reviewing all the financial reports since the year-end meeting with the other board directors would come soon. Dinner time had passed, and he did not get up from his seat ever since the lunch break had ended. He did not even turn up to look who just entered his room, the smell of freshly made sandwiches was enough for him to know who that was.

“Babe, you’re pushing yourself hard again. From someone whose boss is his own father, you’re too hard working. If I were you, I’ll be a little chill since I think I’ve done well, and my father can’t fire me anyway.”, the other man said, putting down the bag of sandwiches on the table then he walked behind Mark’s chair, leaving a kiss on the top of his head. “A little coffee break would not hurt.”

“I could not afford to make any mistakes. I need to have this perfect.”, Mark responded and looked up at the other man, smiling softly at him, “I’m sorry… am I worrying you too much?”, he then said as he held his hand, placing a kiss on it before going back to his laptop.

The other man sighed then and walked back to the coffee table and opened his own sandwich, “If you do that a lot, you’ll just stress yourself. You’re doing great on your own. And I really missed you…”

“Jacks, we saw each other earlier today for breakfast.”

“But you know my needs… I’m clingy and all.”, he said and took a bite into his food, then mumbled with his mouth full, “You promised we’ll go out for a walk, but you hurried up even before your lunch break ended because an urgent e-mail came in for you.”

“You don’t understand my situation.”, Mark just said as he looked at Jackson. “This is serious for me. One little mistake, and it could blow up into something big.”

Jackson then nodded and looked back into Mark, standing up and stood in front of his chair to hold both of his hands, “But think of yourself too. I was just worried you were overworking. I’m sorry for asking too much…”, he sighed and placed another kiss on the top of his head, “I guess you can’t make it tomorrow then?”

Mark was then shocked upon realizing the date tomorrow, it was Jackson’s basketball championship game. The late realization was obvious in his eyes, so Jackson just chuckled.

“It’s okay, babe. You told me before you weren’t sure if you’ll go. It’s okay… just follow us to the after-party.”

“You’re already sure you’re winning, huh?”, Mark chuckled as he stood up, walking to the table to take his sandwich.

“I was raised to just believe in myself.”, Jackson laughed and joined Mark then.

They spent an hour or so together until Jackson had to head home. Mark was left alone then since he had to finalize some papers. When he was about to go, he read the note that Jackson had probably left earlier.

“I’m always here for you when you need me. You can make it, Mark.”

Mark had smiled at the note.

It has been three months since he started dating Jackson. He was his younger brother’s senior in university and had met each other when Mark came to watch his brother’s basketball game. At first, Mark was cautious on having a new relationship since his first did not end up well and he had a hard time moving on from it – although, there were days that he still had thought of Jinyoung. Jackson knows about his past relationship and had helped him mend his heart. Even though Mark had told him that he would not want to take things further, since Jackson might think he was just being a rebound, but Jackson did not care. He truly liked Mark and wanted him to be happy. Jackson was very caring, he was giving everything that Mark needed – then he realized, he saw his past self in Jackson.

Would it last? Wouldn’t he get tired? What if he became too dependent on Jackson?

Mark had repeatedly told himself that the reason why he had to break up was for Jinyoung had to learn how to be dependent and strong by himself, but in fact, he also grew tired of providing, and could not just say it in front of his face. Until the end, he doesn’t want to hurt Jinyoung as much as possible.

Mark just sat back on his chair, and he started breaking down again. He missed him so much. He truly loved Jinyoung and wanted the best for him, so he had to let go.

 

Two years later

“Gyeom-ah! Your brother from LA is here!”, a woman in her 50’s had shouted when Mark had entered the place. Yugyeom immediately walked away from his group of friends to welcome his favorite hyung, jumping for a hug.

“I thought you can’t make it!”, Yugyeom shouted and laughed.

Mark joined him and just ruffled the younger man’s hair, “Gave myself a little break. It’s nice to take a breather for a while. And how can I miss my favorite hoobae’s graduation?”

Yugyeom nodded and paused then, biting his lip like he did something wrong.

“I know, Jinyoung’s here. I saw him outside.”, Mark chuckled and patted Yugyeom’s shoulder, “It’s not like I would avoid him forever. And it’s your day, you should do what you want.”

Yugyeom sighed in relief and they quickly caught up with each other, before the celebrant was dragged away by his mother to help him with the drinks.

Mark then went around the place and reached the terrace; another man was sitting on a bench. The back of his head was too familiar for him. He sat beside him and let out a heavy breath, before speaking, “It’s been a while.”

The man beside wasn’t surprised, like he was expecting Mark to come.

“I know. I kind of freaked out when I saw you coming in earlier, I felt bad for Gyeom if I’ll leave suddenly, so I ended up being in here.”

Mark then looked at the other man, smiling softly.

“How have you been?”

Jinyoung smiled back but was still looking from afar, “I’m doing okay.”

Mark just chuckled and shook his head, looking at the same view where Jinyoung’s eyes were. “The drama you wrote had high ratings and it was very popular overseas, and all you say is you’re okay?”, he continued with a laugh.

Jinyoung then joined him and finally looked at Mark, “I just could not believe that it did better than I was expecting. It still feels like a dream.”

Mark smiled softly and looked back at Jinyoung, “I told you Jinyoung, you can always make it.”

Jinyoung became quiet for a while. Nothing has changed on how Mark had been saying those words.

“How about you, how have you been?”

“Finally told my father about my goals. He was fine with it. My startup company had several pitch ins already with the new application we just launched, I’m quite nervous about it.”

If Jinyoung was the same as before, he would have feared already for Mark’s risky plans.

“You can do it for sure. You were the best programmer back in our school for a reason.”

Mark laughed and shook his head, “But this is difficult and different. If I fail in this plan, I don’t know where to go anymore. This is all I had in my mind.”

“That wasn’t your mindset years ago.”

Mark then looked down, “Being carefree doesn’t work always, I guess. I had to make sure things would work, or at least have something else like a backup plan in mind to go on. But you’re right, I probably can do this…”, Mark said nervously. It was Jinyoung’s first time seeing Mark like that, since he had never seen the other’s weakness in front of him.

Jinyoung bit his lip and carefully held Mark’s hand, “I’m sorry… I wasn’t there for the times you need me. I was too selfish thinking about myself that I did not see I was hurting you already. I had depended on you a lot, you just pushed me to go to where I am right now. I made it this far because of you.”

Mark had become quiet then and just looked at Jinyoung.

“It wasn’t really because of me you had become like that Jinyoung. It was your own realizations.”, Mark said as he smiled softly. “If we haven’t broken up, would you learn how to love yourself? When we were together, you never believed in the things you could do until I tell you so, because you had so much faith in me. I had a hard time to keep up and be strong enough for the both of us. If I crumble down and so would you. I was afraid that would happen.”, Mark said truthfully.

“Don’t think about you had to give something in return. I did those things because I truly loved you. I grew tired, yes, but to be honest, breaking up was the best option for us to go on with our lives, right?”, Mark continued and looked away again. “If I have to live again, I’d do the same and be with you because, Jinyoung, those 10 years of loving you, was something I would want to do.”

Jinyoung then started tearing up, “And I am so grateful for it. You deserve someone who loves you like that.”

Mark shook his head and sighed, “I met someone, and I saw myself in him, then I also realized, it wasn’t the type of love that I need. I could not be happy with him because I could not return the love that he has for me.”

Jinyoung nodded in understanding. Mark was too loving as a person, that when it’s time for him to receive the love, he felt like he had to give back. “Whoever that someone was, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t expecting any return. He just truly loved you, too. Let people show they care for you. Love isn’t all about just give-and-take, it’s beyond that.”, Jinyoung said, remembering what Youngjae had told him years ago.

Mark then just looked back at Jinyoung and smiled softly.

“So, stop thinking that you had to return all the love I showed you all those years. I did those because I wanted to, and I never asked you to do the same.” Mark said and stood up then, “I learned a lot from you, too. You motivated me in some ways, and I would not have made it this far as well, if I haven’t been with you. Thank you, Jinyoung. I had no regrets on those years of being with you, believe me.”

Jinyoung followed suit and smiled, “I will forever be grateful for you, Mark. I wish you happiness in life.”

 

Mark had wished for the same on Jinyoung when they broke up two years ago. He’s grateful that his wish had happened – Jinyoung is successful and happy with his career, that he could finally stand up on his own. While he has yet to get his own happiness and success, it will now be easier since his worries are gone and he had finally seen that the love he had invested in all those years, had bloomed into something and had become a foundation for the person he loves to be better. And that is enough for Mark to receive back.

 

---

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you so much for reading <3 I hope you loved this. I would like to thank the team behind Spring Blooms 2019, for finally bringing this ficfest back. Kudos to all the authors who participated ! A big thanks as well to our shippers who had always showed their support for our favorite couple.

To the dearest one who had submitted this prompt, I'm not yet a good writer but I am thanking you for letting me use your wonderful prompt and I truly hope that I (somehow) gave it justice.