III.

Sooyoung had woken up that Saturday to an empty house and a devil sized hangover.

There was a note on the nightstand next to a glass of water and a box of painkillers. They’d all been left by Momo, obviously, the note explaining how she had to take care of a last-minute issue with her job and how she would be back before lunch.

Sooyoung took a sip from the water, not really remembering a lot from last night except for tons of crying and…

She quickly stood up from the bed, nearly braining herself on one of the cabinets whilst trying to find her phone. When she did, she ignored the bunch of notifications on the main screen and went straight to the messages app.

There it was.

And not only was there the text she’d sent, but there was also a reply. A reply.

She proceeded to have an hour-long breakdown (maybe more, maybe less) while reading it over and over, cursing alcohol and herself and her ex and pretty much every single thing that ever existed.

Momo had found her on the couch a few hours later, head covered with a bed sheet and tv on with the volume so loud it could be heard all the way from the hall.

When Sooyoung had heard her enter, she looked her dead in the eye and said, “Don’t ever let me drink again.”

-

Once again Juyeon had come over for a new intervention (her friends were going to hate her after all this was over) and after a lot of “it’s gonna be okay” and “it’ll do you good”, they had managed to convince Sooyoung to actually go through with what, to her, sounded like the worst plan in the world.

“You guys don’t even know Seungwan. She could be crazy.” Sooyoung complained as Juyeon typed out a reply.

“We don’t know her but you do. And we trust your judgement.”

“No, you trust drunk me’s judgement and that’s even worse.”

“You know what they say, a drunken mind speaks what a sober heart wants.” Momo threw a wink from where she was standing behind Juyeon. “Oh, that’s good. Simple yet effective.”

“That makes you sound like a twelve year old that’s gaming online.”

“Stop being whiny and read the message.” Juyeon passed her the phone which Sooyoung took with a glare.

She breathed out heavily while staring at the screen. “You’re gonna send it anyway so just. Do it.”

-

Seungwan’s reply had come pretty fast but the younger girl was not ready to answer, so she just spent the rest of the day trying to list the pros of going through with the whole thing.

By dinnertime she had managed to convince herself that even if it still sounded like a recipe for disaster, she really could use the fresh air. Fresh air as in, a few days on a fancy ship cruising through the Caribbean.

However she had not forgotten that Seungwan didn’t even know about the trip. Or agreed to it.

She took her phone before she chickened out. Cool! I don’t want to overstep but i was wondering if maybe i could call you right now? If you’re not busy? There’s something i’d like to propose to you.

The minutes between the moment where she’d hit the blue button and the one where her phone buzzed with the reply were almost agonizing.

sure, i’m not busy right now, we can talk.

A wave of nerves suddenly came over her. What if Seungwan said no? The idea was unplanned, out of nowhere and just downright crazy. Plus they hadn’t spoken in years! She had to be thankful Seungwan even remembered who she was.

“That’s pushing it,” Sooyoung told herself. Seungwan and her had been the best of friends for a long time, it was obvious she was going to remember her.

“Let’s get it over with.”

She dialed the number and waited.

-

The call was alright, neither of them particularly sure of what to say. Sooyoung thinks that maybe she had been way too straightforward. Not to mention she’d talked embarrassingly fast at one point but oh well. It was too late to change it.

Seungwan hadn’t said no, but she hadn’t said yes either. Sooyoung tried not to feel disappointed. She was expecting that kind of answer after all.

The next day had been rough. It was Sunday, but it was the Sunday. As in, the Sunday that was supposed to be the best day of her life as she glowed in front of everyone, dressed in white while walking down the aisle to get married to who she thought was the love of her life.

Instead, she was sitting at home with three liters of ice cream and a badly written movie playing on tv. Juyeon and Momo had managed to get her out of the house but it didn’t last long. All she wanted to do for the day was wallow in self-pity and not even her friends had the heart to deny her that.

Sooyoung was halfway through the sequel of the cliché romance she’d finished earlier, sun starting to set over the city, when her phone rang.

She wanted to ignore it. She was going to ignore it the way she had ignored every single person in her life today. Except when she grabbed her phone, the screen lit up with a name she could not reject.

Perhaps Seungwan was calling her to let her know that she couldn’t go, that she had to find someone else. It would be fitting — the perfect ending to the worst day.

Her life was as terrible as the movie she was watching.

Except that when she had accepted the call, the first thing that came through the line was Seungwan’s voice saying, “Sooyoung? Hey! Guess what? I’ve got some good news.”

-

On Wednesday morning Sooyoung finds herself staring at her suitcase without a single idea what to put in it.

She’s back at her old apartment since that’s where most of her clothes are. It feels foreign, as if she hadn’t lived in it for the past few years. Juyeon had come along for moral support but she still wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Are you actually gonna pack something or…” Her friend’s voice breaks her out if her reverie.

“Maybe if i knew what.”

“What do you mean? It’s a caribbean cruise! Sun, beach, mojitos? Any of that ring a bell?” Juyeon tilts her head. “Just pack swimsuits, shorts and glasses. It doesn’t have to be that complicated.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Sooyoung turns towards her closet so she doesn’t have to make eye contact. “I’m just really nervous i think.”

“Awww,” Juyeon coos and, being the oversized puppy that she always was, goes to hug her from behind. “I know this is probably scary but you’ll have the best time! You deserve it.”

Sooyoung lets herself be embraced by the younger girl. “I hope so. I haven’t seen Seungwan in years.” A beat passes. “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“No way!” Juyeon lets go. “You’re smart, funny and kind. Not to mention beautiful.” Her smile is wide. Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “Why wouldn’t she like you?”

“I don’t know. We’re not the kids we used to be.” She starts rummaging through her drawers for things to pack.

“Exactly.” Juyeon sits backs on the bed. “She has probably changed too. But it’s not changing, it’s growing up. I’m sure it’s been for the better. On both sides.”

Sooyoung lets out a scoff. “The young are so wise these days.”

“That we are! Now, hurry up, i promised Hyunjung that we would have lunch with her before we drop you off at the airport.”

“But the flight doesn’t leave until 8pm.”

Her friend raises an eyebrow. “So? It’s an international flight, you have to be 3 hours earlier. Now hurry.”

“Okay, boss.”

-

As the time to get to the airport grew closer, so did Sooyoung’s nerves.

She couldn’t quite pinpoint why she was so nervous. Alright, maybe she could, but she wasn’t about to admit it to her friends.

She had tried, she really had. But the right moment to tell Seungwan that the cruise they were about to spend the next week and a half in was, in fact, a honeymoon one, just never came.

She knows she should’ve told her from the very beginning but between everything that had happened, she kinda forgot to mention it the first time and then in the blink of an eye Seungwan had already said yes and it was too late.

She’s aware she has to tell her. Or maybe she wouldn’t notice. The cruise was just a cruise, right — no. Sooyoung was just being a coward. She has to tell her.

The problem is the when. And that, exactly, is the reason why her nerves get worse with every moment that passes.

(And, if Sooyoung’s also a little fidgety about meeting someone she once held so close to her heart, no one’s allowed to judge her.)

“Have a nice time, Sooyoung.” Hyunjung tells her as they bid their goodbyes when dropping her off. “You deserve it.”

Sooyoung feels like crying. She always feels like crying lately. “Thank you.”

She gives Juyeon a small kiss and exits the car, Sooyoung switching to the front seat. Just as they’re about to pull out of the drive way, Hyunjung knocks at the window, signaling at her to turn it down. “Tell that Seungwan girl to behave or we’ll have her head.”

Juyeon lets out a sharp laugh and Sooyoung just looks between the both of them, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hyunjung smirks. “Just a hunch, is all.”

She spends the ride home thinking about how she used to have someone to share inside jokes with.

-

Sooyoung had offered to pick Seungwan up from work but she’d turned her down by saying she still had to go home to get her luggage and that her friend was willing to drive her. So they agreed to meet on the airline desk at 5 since, according to Juyeon, Incheon was one of the busiest airports in the world and they had to be extra early so everything would be done in time.

They arrive at the airport just before five. They make their way through the crowd, the halls filled with passengers and workers alike. Sooyoung never doubted her friend's words but she also didn’t expect the airport to be so busy on a Wednesday. It was summer though, so that probably was a misconception on her part. They make it to the airline’s desk where their flight was shown onscreen. Miami, 20:10.

“Well, you’re certainly going to have time to catch up with Seungwan before you get on the ship.” Momo says as she goes through Sooyoung’s plane ticket. “A 19 hour flight, what the hell.”

“It’s got a stopover.” Sooyoung responds, not really paying attention. Seungwan could be arriving at any minute now.

“At LAX!” Juyeon squeals. “Do you think you’ll run into any celebrities while you’re waiting?”

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

Her friends don’t miss the way her voice wobbles.

“Hey. Look at me. It’ll be okay.” Momo says, squeezing her hand. Juyeon just nods reassuringly.

Sooyoung just manages a small chuckle but doesn’t let go of Momo’s hand. They distract themselves by talking about the other flights on the screen when she feels a light tap on her shoulder.

She turns around to find a woman with lush black hair and features that make her look, quite frankly, straight out of a magazine.

“Hi. Are you Park Sooyoung?”

Sooyoung has never seen this girl before. She knows she would remember. “Yes?”

The girl grins and her teeth are exactly what you’d expect them to be. “My name is Kim Jisoo. I’m Seungwan’s best friend but since she’s too much of a chicken to approach you first, i told her that i would.”

She turns towards a girl standing not too far from them, wearing some simple black jeans and plain white shirt. Jisoo waves Seungwan over and she moves towards them, apparently embarrassed that her friend had actually gone through with whatever she’d said she was going to do.

“Hi everyone. I’m Seungwan.” She greets, her voice a tiny bit croaky. She clears . “And i’m sure she already introduced herself but this is my best friend Jisoo.”

“Nice to meet you! I’m Juyeon.” She greets back, always the social butterfly. “And this is Momo.” The Japanese girl finally let’s go of Sooyoung’s hand so she can shake the other girls’.

Suddenly all eyes are on her and she realizes that she hasn’t said anything at all. “Oh! Um. I’m Sooyoung. Great to meet you.” She extends her hand towards Jisoo, who gives her a firm shake. Then, she turns to Seungwan. “Hi. It’s lovely to see you again.”

She wonders if she’s just imagining the red in Seungwan’s cheeks. “You too.”

There’s a pause where they just stare at each other, airport noises filling her ears until Juyeon says, “Well, you better hurry up! We wouldn’t want you to miss your flight, right?”

Sooyoung turns towards her only to find a smug look on her face.

“Just say you want to get rid of me and go.”

“She’s as dramatic as you! I think you guys will get along wonderfully.” Jisoo declares, also smirking.

“I can’t wait to get rid of you.” Seungwan sticks her tongue out at her. It’s kinda cute.

Momo just watches everything unfold with a small smile on her face. “I also think we should go.”

Traitor.

She opens her arms wide, knowing Sooyoung would never reject a hug. She buries her face in her best friend’s hair, breathing heavily. Momo squishes her tight and tells her quietly. “Try to have to have fun, yes? I love you.”

“Love you too.” Sooyoung replies, voice shaky as she breaks out from her friend’s hold. Before she can do it though, a third figure joins them. “Have the best time Sooyoungie! We love you! Please don’t forget to call us!” Juyeon kisses the side of her head.

“Look how much they love her. How come you’ve never been that affectionate to me?” Seungwan tells Jisoo, pouting excessively.

“You’re going on a cruise, not war. If anyone deserves affection, it’s me.” Jisoo retorts but she’s already moving towards her friend. She gives her a long hug, whispering something that Sooyoung doesn’t manage to catch. It makes Seungwan roll her eyes.

When they let go, Jisoo addresses Sooyoung. “Lovely to meet you. Thank you for getting her off my back for a while,” she extends her hand and winks. “Good luck.”

Seungwan just facepalms behind her. Sooyoung lets out a small giggle.

“It was great meeting you, too. Have a nice time.” It’s Momo who speaks this time. She takes a small bow towards Seungwan, who returns it politely. Juyeon, on the other hand, lurches forward and gives her a quick hug. “Please take good care of our Sooyoung.”

It’s Sooyoung’s turn to feel embarrassed. Seungwan looks surprised but she pats Juyeon’s back anyway.

“Let’s go, child.” Momo says, locking arms with Juyeon. “Are you heading towards the parking lot? We can walk together.” She asks Jisoo.

“Sure!” She takes a step backwards. “Bye guys. Have fun!”

They walk away, not before turning to wave at them one last time.

At last, Sooyoung and Seungwan are left alone. As alone as they can be on a crowded airport, anyway.

“Well, i guess we should…” Seungwan signals to the airline’s desks.

“Check in and document our luggage?”

“Yeah, that. Sorry, i haven’t traveled in a while.”

“It’s okay. We could leave our suitcases and then go get something to eat? It’s gonna be a long flight.” Sooyoung suggests.

“I’d like that.”

-

They sat at the airport’s food court, killing time so they wouldn’t get to the boarding gate way too early.

“So we’ll be flying to LAX then we have to wait a few hours to take the next plane to Miami.” Seungwan reads from the travel itinerary that Sooyoung had sent her. “We’ll spend the night at a hotel there and then we’ll be taken to the deck where the ship will sail on Friday afternoon.”

“Yep. I don’t think the Miami hotel is anything too fancy, it’s just to spend the night after all.” Sooyoung replies, taking a sip out of the vanilla coffee she’d bought.

Seungwan makes a face. “You gonna be able to sleep despite drinking that?” The younger girl nods. “I’m jealous. If i drink anything with caffeine after the sun has gone down it’s an all nighter for me.”

“I bet it was useful in college.” She takes another sip. “Except you were always so responsible, never letting things for the day before. I doubt you ever had to pull an all nighter.” She smiles widely.

“You’d be surprised. Uni changes you.”

“It really does. What’d you get your degree on?”

“Performing & Visual Arts.” Seungwan says, fiddling with the brochure. She looks compelled to add, “Not what what i work on though.”

Sooyoung tilts her head. “Why? If you don’t mind me asking of course.”

“Haven’t found what i was looking for i guess.” Sooyoung wants to know more but she can also tell this isn’t Seungwan’s favorite subject to talk about, so she doesn’t push it. “What about you?”

“Law. I work at a firm.”

Seungwan’s demeanor changes immediately. “And i was the responsible one? Okay.”

“Stop. It’s not that hard.” Sooyoung replies shyly. “Everyone’s good at what they do.”

“Don’t be so modest. I’m sure you’ve worked hard to get to where you are.” She shakes her head. “Can’t believe i actually offered my help hiding a body. I doubt you would even need it.”

“It’s the thought what counts. Now i know who to call if i ever do need it!”

“Just promise you’ll get us out of jail afterwards.”

“If you can afford me, sure.” Sooyoung’s eyes crinkle. She checks her watch. “We better get going, who knows how long we have to walk to get to the plane.”

-

The boarding gate had huge windows from where you could see all the runways and hangars. It also showed the beautiful summer skies. There was a full moon tonight.

Sooyoung stood before it, taking in the sight. Memories of her life in the past four years come to her. It happens a lot lately. She wishes it didn’t.

“Don’t you think it’s fascinating how it’s night here yet in some other places it’s midday?” Seungwan asks out of nowhere, breaking Sooyoung out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean?” Sooyoung frowns, not really understanding her question.

“I don’t know. Like i get that’s how it works because of the Earth and stuff but. The universe is just so… captivating sometimes.”

Sooyoung takes a moment to really contemplate the girl who would pass as her companion for the next few days. Her hair is short, a bob cut just above her shoulders, tinted chestnut-brown. Her skin was silky and smooth, thin lips curled in a small smile. She’s short, barely reaching Sooyoung’s neck. Her profile is sharp with eyes that twinkle as she looks out into the night. She's beautiful.

“I like the sky. It’s comforting.” She tries, not having anything better to reply. “It’s always there. No matter what happens. It’ll never leave.” Her voice sounds a little strained in the last few words.

If Seungwan notices, she doesn’t say anything. “A constant.”

They stay in silence for a few minutes.

“Thank you for inviting me here.” Seungwan tells her.

Sooyoung can’t help but chuckle. “We haven’t even left. You can still bail, you know.”

“Never. Jisoo won’t take me back before at least a week passes anyway.”

Right in that moment, a voice comes through the speakers.

Passengers from Flight 518 on the way to Miami, please board your plane through door 22.

“That’s us.” Sooyoung announces, heart doing a little flip.

“What are we waiting for, then?” Seungwan takes a small bow and puts her arms out signaling for her to go first. Sooyoung eyes her, amused, but obliges anyway.

They’re almost at the door when she stops abruptly.

The older girl almost runs into her. “What’s wrong?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Seungwan’s eyebrows furrow.

Sooyoung’s smile, on the other hand, doesn’t waver. “For coming along.”

Maybe this trip wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

-

Sooyoung had been so content in Seungwan’s presence that she had almost, almost forgotten that she was lying to her through gritted teeth.

That was until they arrived at their hotel in Miami.

Both flights had gone smoothly. They’d spent a lot of the first one asleep, the seats surprisingly comfortable. When they woke up a meal was served and afterwards, they used up most of the time catching up, talking about everything and nothing. It was nice to see that their old ways hadn’t faded, falling into a pleasant rhythm.

LAX was even bigger than Incheon so they tried not to wander too far since the stopover was only for 3 hours. Contrary to Juyeon’s belief (and, apparently, to Seungwan’s dismay) they didn’t run into any celebrities while they were there.

The second plane had been much smaller and less elegant, but that flight was nowhere near as long so it was alright. Jetlag was starting to hit them, the prospect of a warm shower and a comfy bed when they got to the hotel the one thing making them power through the rest of the journey.

That should’ve been Sooyoung’s first strike but her brain was too tired. Or at least that’s what she tried to tell herself.

They landed in Miami at around 6pm, a cab already waiting for them outside the airport. Everything had already been planned by the agency, it seemed.

The hotel was nothing from another world, it was just to spend the night after all. They walked to the reception, the lady behind the desk looking extremely fresh next to their jetlagged selves. The reservation’s under Park, she’d said. Sooyoung had changed all the reservations to her name the day she’d found out the tickets for the trip were non refundable.

That should’ve been the second one.

At last the lady had given them their key, room 421. They went straight for the elevator, both of them so tired that they didn’t feel like exploring the rest of the hotel.

When they open the door, the first thing Sooyoung notices is the single queen-sized bed in the middle of the room.

Three strikes, you’re out.

Her mind feels like it’s gone into a meltdown, reality hitting her like a ton of bricks.

She had to tell Seungwan the truth.

There was a voice in the back of her head, though, that whispered in her ear like those little devils in animated movies. You can’t tell her now. She’s exhausted. Do you want to make it worse? Look, she doesn’t even look like she suspects anything. You can tell her tomorrow.

Sooyoung was a coward but she wasn’t technically lying to Seungwan, was she? She just wasn’t being entirely truthful. Except that every minute that passed, the risk of Seungwan hating her went up. Maybe exponentially.

“Sooyoung? Are you alright? You’ve been standing at the door for at least 3 minutes now.” Seungwan asks from her place on the bed. “This is so cozy. Oh, i’m so tired. I can’t wait to go to sleep.”

The voice in her head was right. What good would it do to tell her now?

Tomorrow first thing in the morning. Before everything else, she would come clean to Seungwan.

-

Confessing was a lot easier said than done.