"Noona...." Eunsang calls out softly. 

 

She turns upon hearing that familiar voice. The voice that belonged to that one person who makes her heart flutter and ache at the same time.

 

She smiles at him warmly, surprising the boy, as if nothing had happened.

 

The last time they saw each other, she was completely out of control, her mind was in a haze with her heart spilling out for the boy standing in front of her.

 

That was almost two weeks ago.

 

Almost two weeks ago, she told him with full confidence, "I think I like you".

 

She doesn't remember where the determination to confess came from. All she knew was, with each passing day, she found herself more and more in love. And that one day, she broke her own heart.

 

She didn't think of what Eunsang felt for her. If he even had feelings for her.

 

She remembers the exact words that fell from his lips, and the look in his eyes. The bright day that was beckoning her heart to spill, suddenly felt like it was mocking her misery.

 

"I really like being with you," Eunsang began.

 

"But I..." he took several breaths, hesitating on what to say.

 

"I'm sorry.", were the words he settled with, and the only words he said before avoiding her gaze.

 

Suddenly she felt like a fool. Was it just her who felt something all this time? Was it all in her head?

 

"Oh.." she muttered as her joy died down.

 

"I-I'm not forcing you to like me back or anything. I just--" she paused to hold back the tears that started to form around her eyes.

 

"I just wanted to tell you..." she continued in a quieter voice.

 

Eunsang shook his head.

 

"Why me?" Eunsang said, finally looking back at her again.

 

"W...what?" she muttered in confusion.

 

"You shouldn't like me. You shouldn't be wasting your feelings on me" he answered.

 

She scoffed, confused by the words he was saying.

 

"Did you even think this through?" he asked.

 

"Think-- think this through?" she scoffed once more.

 

"You think my feelings are a joke?" 

 

"Please, don't make it harder for the both of us" Eunsang said, his gaze becoming more unclear with each passing second.

 

"I don't get it. What's so wrong about me having feelings for you?" she says, searching Eunsang's eyes for anything she could find.

 

"You just shouldn't, okay?" he answered back, his voice getting a tad bit louder.

 

"I'm just asking why you're saying all this" she replied in a calmer demeanor.

 

But tears still pricked her eyes with every word.

 

"Look," Eunsang said, sighing deeply. "You're graduating soon. Why don't you just focus on that instead?" 

 

She chuckled in disbelief. Her sight was blurred with tears but she fought to keep them from falling.

 

"I really don't get it" she shook her head with a chuckle.

 

"I don't get why you're telling me to ignore my feelings. It's enough for me to tell you, but the way you're insisting that I shouldn't feel anything for you, hurts me more."

 

She roughly wiped the tears from her eyes to look directly into Eunsang's eyes.

 

"I like you. And that's how I feel. I like you more than a friend. I like you and I don't care if that's all because it's my feelings. Are you going to push me away because of it?" 

 

Eunsang ran his tongue across his teeth, as frustration bubbled up inside him.

 

"No. Don't like me". he said pointedly. "Don't like me because i'll only end up hurting you." 

 

"This whole conversation is ridiculous, you know that? I mean, do you even hear yourself right now? Do you hear how stupid you sound?" . She was already huffing from all the emotions she was feeling at the moment.

 

"I don't feel the same way!" Eunsang finally burst. 

 

There was a short pause, mostly because she was too stunned to say anything.

 

"Do you get it now?" he added with the same amount of intensity.

 

Suddenly she had nothing left to say.

 

So she nodded instead, while her tears flowed out endlessly.

 

She turned away from him and walked away.

 

And not once did she look back.

 

"I'm sorry I had to make you come here instead of meeting you at your place. I just thought it'd be better to get some fresh air too, you know?" she starts, a warm smile still present on her face.

 

"So, how have you been?" She asks as they sat down in one of the many benches in the park.

 

Eunsang doesn't meet her gaze, fiddling with his fingers on his lap.

 

"Eunsang?" She calls out.

 

"I guess I'll do the talking then" she laughs. "Don't worry though I won't take too much of your time." 

 

Eunsang continues to stay silent, so she takes it as an opportunity to talk about what she made Eunsang meet her for.

 

"Hmm... where do I start?" she mumbles.

 

She takes a deep breath before speaking.

 

"I've been thinking a lot. I thought about this place, the memories I had here." she starts.

 

"But somehow the memories that are most memorable to me are the ones with you in it."

 

Eunsang finally looks at her. She looks back at Eunsang and sees tears forming on the rims of his eyes.

 

"Honestly, I never really liked this place much before you came. All there was here were bad memories. Everyday I ached to finally come up to Seoul and leave, but then you came. And suddenly, I had a reason to stay" she smiles fondly at Eunsang.

 

"But I guess I've been too selfish haven't I?" she says, her voice slightly breaking in the middle.

 

She swallows down the lump in before continuing.

 

"I feel like I've always been pushing myself to you. It's just that all I kept thinking was that I shouldn't hold my feelings back and make you feel as much of it as I can." she pauses, to compose herself.

 

"I'm not supposed to cry today." she chuckles to herself. 

 

"I'm sorry Eunsang. I'm sorry for always putting you in a difficult place, and for letting my feelings blind me from knowing what the right thing to do was." 

 

Eunsang's tears were already flowing while she spoke, so she reached out softly to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

 

"I'm the one who should be sorry" Eunsang says.

 

"I hurt you. Even when I said I didn't want to, that's what I still ended up doing." 

 

"No, it's okay. You shouldn't blame yourself for not feeling the same way" she retracted her hand from his face, this time wiping away her tears that fell without her realizing.

 

"You helped me realize a lot of things," she continues.

 

"I finally have the guts to leave this place" she laughs with tears still making its way down her face.

 

"You-you're leaving?" Eunsang asks in surprise.

 

She slowly nods with a sad smile on her face.

 

"It's the perfect time for me to leave, isn't it? Just as you said, I should focus on graduating, and that includes what comes after."

 

She looks down on her lap pursing her lips.

 

"I actually told you to come here because I'm saying goodbye."

 

Eunsang looks away, as fresh tears poured from his eyes.

 

"I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you. I hope you can forgive me" she looks at Eunsang and sees him looking away from her.

 

"And thank you. Without you, I wouldn't be able to realize all these." she contemplates, before moving to crouch in front of Eunsang.

 

"Hey," she calls out, putting one hand on his knee and the other on top his hand.

 

"I think, even if time passes, I'll never forget you." she says, before putting one hand on his cheek, to make him face her and look at her in the eyes.

 

"I will always always love you" she smiles at Eunsang, a real one, despite the ache in her heart and the tears on her face.

 

"Goodbye, Eunsang" she leans up and places a long but soft kiss on his cheek.

 

She stands up from where she crouched.

 

"And please forget about me" she says as her final words, before pushing her feet to leave.

 

And what she left was her heart, the guy she saw as her whole world, even though he didn't see her in the same way.

 

Leaving meant pain.

 

But leaving was her choice.

 

Leaving meant growth, a chance for the future to grow. A future, even if its one without Eunsang.