At first, Nayeon pretends not to notice. Members kiss each other all the time. She’s pretty sure Sana’s accidentally kissed all of them when she’s drunk. It’s not an entirely new thing—it really shouldn’t be reason for her heart to suddenly start hammering out of nowhere, like the steady beat of drums her body has grown accustomed to. Every time she sees Mina now, all she can remember is the faint press of her soft lips against Nayeon’s skin or the way she smells heavenly when she leans in close. Like God bottled up angels and good deeds just to sprinkle them all over Mina. 

It begins after a particularly long day of choreography. Nayeon complains about her feet, which Jihyo and Jeongyeon pointedly ignore. It’s nothing new—they’ve been together the longest, they’ve grown used to her annoying antics. When they refuse to piggy back her all the way to the van, Nayeon shoots a pleading look at Momo whose the closest behind them. 

“Momooooooringggg,” she whines, putting on her best aegyo look. 

Momo just laughs and gestures to her left hand which is already intertwined with Sana’s. “I’m already taken, Nayeonnie.” 

Sana sticks her tongue at her. “Go find your own Momo.” 

“Nobody can replace Momo,” the person in question states, grinning broadly. 

Nayeon rolls her eyes. The two Japanese women have always been the closest—it’s kind of annoying how they always cling to each other. Like seriously, Sana, at least share your Momo with the rest of the members. But the two women walk on ahead, chatting animatedly about their practice earlier. Nayeon’s feet still hurts and she has to lean her body against the wall leading to the corner outside. Give her a break. Just for two minutes. They rarely get any. 

Chaeyoung, Dahyun and Tzuyu pass by. “Are you okay, unnie?” The youngest asks. 

Nayeon immediately brightens up. “Can I get a piggy ride back to the van?” 

Chaeyoung and Dahyun snort. They both know Tzuyu’s answer. “No,” their maknae states blankly. 

“Oh, come on. Do it for your Nabong! My feet are killing me, seriously.” 

Tzuyu walks away. The two rappers linger behind, grinning. “You should’ve asked Jeongyeon,” Dahyun says. 

“You can never ask Tzuyu to do anything. Unless it’s something related to dogs.” 

“Jeongyeon complained about her back and left with Jihyo,” Nayeon points out, letting out a sigh. When the two younger girls don’t leave, she shoots them a grin. “So what about you two—”

“Goodbye, unnie.” With those parting words, Chaeyoung and Dahyun escape. Nayeon yells at them for disrespecting their elders before she slides back down on the wall. She takes off her shoes and rubs her toes. It’s a brief moment of relief but then she knows it’s only going to feel worse before it gets better. She should really get used to this—she’s been doing this for God knows how long. But then again, this is what her job is. It’s a whirlwind of practices, sessions and concerts. While it’s nothing short of her dream, it’s also an exhausting one.

Footsteps signal the appearance of the final member Nayeon has yet to beg a piggy back ride from. 

“Do your feet hurt, unnie?” Mina asks, crouching next to her so that they’re eye level. 

“Yes,” Nayeon replies with a bit more enthusiasm than necessary, “Do you mind carrying me back to the van?” 

Mina just laughs. She’s cute when she does that. Nayeon thinks she’s gotten her to agree but then the younger girl shakes her head and says, “I don’t think I can even carry you. But I can offer you something else.” 

“If it’s an escalator from here to the house, I will love you forever—”

Peck. It happens so fast Nayeon thinks it didn’t happen. However, later on, she’ll see the unmistakable shade of Mina’s lipstick against her cheek while removing her make-up and it’s the only thing that will solidify that it even occurred in the first place. In the present moment, she turns her head to look at Mina whose taken off her slippers in exchange for Nayeon’s shoes. The younger girl gives her a gummy smile and Nayeon sees the flash of her silver tooth. 

“Hey!” Jihyo’s voice. “We’re all tired here so can you guys hurry the hell up so that we can go home and sleep?” 

Nayeon scrambles to her feet. An angry Jihyo is always something to be feared. She slips into Mina’s slippers and lets out a soft sigh. At least her toes aren’t being pinched by the inside of her shoes. She turns to look at the Japanese woman and sees that she’s already wearing Nayeon’s converse. It’s clearly at least two sizes larger but Mina just smiles and pushes her along. 

“Thank you,” Nayeon says when they’re in the van. Everybody is exhausted. She can hear Jeongyeon snoring from the back.

Mina nods, her eyes fluttering close. “No problem, unnie,” she whispers and leans her head against the older woman’s. Within minutes, she’s fast asleep. The scent of heaven flows through the air. Nayeon closes her eyes and lets slumber overtake her. 

//

The second time it happens, they’re at a fan meet. She and Mina are seated next to each other at the edge of the table. Signing CDs, joking around and talking to fans. It’s always a good experience, even though it can be tiring at most. They’re all running on less than six hours of sleep. But the sight of ONCE is always enough to brighten their moods. Nayeon finishes signing a fan’s shirt and glances to her side to see Mina laughing at something Chaeyoung said. 

She suddenly remembers the quick peck Mina gave her before. Something in her chest stutters. That happened a while back but every time she finds herself staring at Mina, it’s all she can think about. It’s nothing strange—Mina’s adorable. Soft, too. If Nayeon paid more attention, she knows the press of Mina’s lips against her cheek back then would’ve been softer. It might not be the first kiss she’s received from her but it’s the one that happened when they were both alone. Nayeon’s usually the one giving kisses when they’re with other people. After all, it’s easy to flaunt confidence in front of the camera and others. Outside of it, however? Not so much. 

“Nayeonnie?” The person in question waves a hand in front of her. 

“Huh? Oh.” Nayeon blinks. “What’s up?” 

“You were staring at me.” 

“No, I wasn’t.” 

Mina glances at the fan sitting in front of her. He nods quickly, affirming the Japanese’s concern. “Yes, you were,” he states. 

Nayeon shoots him a look. “I was not.” He blushes at her intense glare. 

Mina laughs and shakes her head. Nayeon sees the silver tooth again. “Whatever you say, unnie.” 

The rest of the event goes by smoothly. After they finish meeting up with the fans, they all head back to the stage, hold hands and thank the people who came all the way just to see them. Mina turns to follow the rest of the group and Nayeon picks up her pace to wrap her arms around the younger girl and perch her chin on her left shoulder. She has to slightly bend her knees to do so. It’s like instinct. The scent of heaven weaves through her nostrils. The crowd of fans behind them all holler. Nayeon finds herself blushing even though she’s a naturally touchy person. She shouldn’t be thinking too much about it—she back hugs all of the members. But when Mina leans her head back and presses a kiss to the side of her temple, it dawns on her that the rest of the members don’t have the same effect on her like Mina does.

//

The third time it happens, they’re watching a horror movie. Despite nearly everybody’s strong aversion towards the genre, Tzuyu manages to woo them with a few pouts and puppy dog eyes. It’s ridiculous, really. Tzuyu’s the type of person who’d rather not use aegyo tactics as a way to get what she wants but she’s been wanting to watch that movie for a while now so Dahyun, Sana, Mina and Nayeon all agree to cuddle up on the couch and watch. Since the couch isn’t big enough for all five of them, Mina opts to sit by Dahyun’s legs with Tzuyu next to her. Nayeon leans against Sana, her eyes tracing the back of Mina’s head. 

Tzuyu starts up the movie. 

“First person to scream has to do a punishment,” Dahyun says, a wicked look written all over her features. 

“What kind?” Sana asks, the same wicked grin mirrored on her lips, “How about the person who screams gets a kiss from me?” 

“I don’t see that as punishment,” Mina points out. 

Nayeon can’t see Tzuyu’s expression since she’s facing the screen but she imagines their maknae wearing an unamused look. “No, unnie.” 

“Keep your lips to yourself, Sana,” Nayeon comments.

Sana lets out a whine and wraps her arms around Dahyun who rolls her eyes. “Not the kind of punishment I had in mind,” the younger girl says, “How about we lock up the person in the dark bathroom for five minutes?” 

Nayeon shudders to think about it. She likes to pretend she’s fearless and all that jazz but five minutes alone in a bathroom makes her feel more than claustrophobic. Both Sana and Tzuyu groan but don’t object to the punishment. Nayeon catches Mina’s eyes and they both sigh. Rejecting the punishment would hurt Dahyun’s feelings, which is something they don’t want. After a moment, Dahyun claps her hands together and nods triumphantly. “It’s settled then. Let the movie begin!”

It’s not the kind of movie that has jump scares in it, which Nayeon is thankful for. However, the constant anxiety of waiting for something to pop up isn’t helpful. With each second that passes by, the knot of dread in her stomach grows. She can feel the girls getting restless. Tzuyu even shifts a couple of times, looking away from the screen once in a while. Sana has her face buried on Dahyun’s shoulder. There are a few moments where they all flinch but nobody screams. Not yet, anyway. 

The movie is nearing its end. Nayeon holds her breath. Everything is rising to the . The protagonist has just discovered his father, burnt by flames in front of the fireplace. He doesn’t notice his possessed mother standing behind him. Dahyun is muttering prayers under her breath, Sana has her eyes squeezed shut while Mina cowers behind Tzuyu's shoulder. Nayeon yells, “What the hell, she’s right behind you!” As if the protagonist can hear her. With her attention glued to the screen, the movie chooses that exact moment to show the possessed mother chasing after her son. It’s the break in the music and the sudden spring of action in the screen that causes Nayeon to scream. The same time Mina does as well. 

Dahyun whoops, “Gotcha!” 

Despite the horrifying scene still playing in front of them, both Tzuyu and Sana laugh. Dahyun wriggles her eyebrows at Nayeon. “Five minutes in the bathroom for you and Minari,” she says gleefully. 

“No fair,” Mina mumbles meekly against Dahyun’s knee, “I only screamed because Nayeonnie did.” 

Nayeon sticks her tongue at her. “Not my fault.” 

Tzuyu shushes them. The movie is still ongoing. Nayeon lets out a sigh and crosses her arms, glowering darkly at the screen. She doesn’t notice Mina looking at her from where she’s seated by Dahyun’s legs. By the time the end credits have finished, Sana is already skipping towards the bathroom, ready to shove Nayeon and Mina inside. Tzuyu takes her time in shutting off the TV before following after them. Nayeon looks over at Mina who only looks slightly miserable about the whole thing.

“Come along now,” Dahyun says, “A deal’s a deal.” 

“How about I shove you inside?” Nayeon grumbles. She’s not a scaredy cat but who isn’t afraid of the dark? “This is no way to treat your unnie!” 

“Minari will keep you company,” Sana says, giggling. 

Tzuyu peeks inside the bathroom and shuts the lights off. Their bathroom isn’t exactly large but when the lights are turned off, it’s pitch black inside. The only comfort Nayeon has going for her is the fact that Mina is going to be right there next to her. She briefly thinks about the two kisses the other girl has given her. The last one happened only two weeks ago. 

“We’ll be counting down the seconds,” Dahyun tells them as she pushes Nayeon inside. Sana does the same for Mina. 

“Don’t you dare leave us in here for more than five minutes,” Nayeon mumbles, “I want to take a nap afterwards.”

Tzuyu nods seriously. “No promises,” she says, cracking a smile just as she shuts the door. Immediately, Nayeon’s sense of sight vanishes and she nearly stumbles on a wire in an effort to yell at the three idiots standing outside. Thankfully, Mina senses where she is and grabs hold of her arm. The warmth of her palm jolts Nayeon. 

“Five minutes!” she shouts through the darkness, slamming her fist against the door. Giggles erupt on the other side. Faintly, Jihyo’s voice can be heard yelling at them to keep it down.

She hears Mina sigh. “Nayeonnie,” she says, “do you want to sit by the tub? At least we’ll get to rest our feet.” 

“Alright.” Mina’s hand travels down her arm to intertwine with her fingers. Nayeon’s heart rate picks up. Maybe it’s because of the fact she doesn’t have her eyes to see things with but it occurs to her just how nice it is to stand next to someone in complete utter darkness. With her sight gone, her other senses pick up. The smell of Mina’s perfume—Nayeon can never describe it other than being heavenly—fills the room. She can hear her breathing quietly and rhythmically. Her fingers are soft and warm to the touch. 

Carefully and quietly, she follows Mina as the younger girl weaves her way through the darkness. She makes a soft “oh” when she bumps into the side of the tub. Nayeon reaches out with her other hand to feel for its shape before tugging Mina in with her. Mina does so gracefully. Then it’s quiet. Surely, they only have four minutes left to deal with. Thank God the younger girl screamed with her during that stupid movie.

Nayeon leans her head against the back of the tub. “God, I’m exhausted,” she mumbles. 

Mina giggles. “This is our first rest day in months. Look where that got us.” 

“That stupid movie scared the out of me.” Nayeon is aware she’s still holding Mina’s hand. They don’t let go. 

The Japanese woman hums. “It wasn’t like any movie I’ve ever seen,” she says quietly, “but that’s not really saying much. I don’t really watch horror movies. You scared me, though.”

“Sorry.” Nayeon turns her head to look at Mina. Even though the room is pitch black, she imagines seeing the shape of Mina’s side profile. An idea slips through her mind. “Are you sure you screamed because you were scared? Maybe you just wanted to spend time with your cutie unnie.” She injects the right amount of flirtatious undertone in her voice. Not as much as Sana would’ve, though.

Somehow, it works. A breathy laugh escapes Mina. Nayeon imagines the flash of her silver tooth. “I’ll leave that up to your imagination,” the younger girl says, recalling a previous conversation.

Nayeon whistles. “Smooth.” 

They grow quiet. Nayeon’s lids suddenly grow heavy. She’d been fighting off her drowsiness during the movie since Tzuyu really seemed into it but with the coolness of the tub against her back and Mina’s hand in hers, sleep wants to overtake her. She lets out a soft yawn. A moment pauses. There’s a shifting noise and then she feels Mina leaning against her side. Instinctively, she puts her head against her shoulder. Heaven, she thinks.

“What’s your perfume called?” Nayeon mumbles against her skin. 

Mina thinks about it. “I forgot,” she confesses, sounding sheepish, “Why?” 

“You smell good,” Nayeon whispers. 

Silence again. Then there’s the soft press of lips against her forehead. Her heart goes into overdrive. Mina doesn’t pull away immediately, just sits there with against Nayeon’s skin. A moment or two passes by. Then she leans back. The kiss leaves a burning sensation, like the aftermath of a sunburn. Nayeon suddenly doesn’t feel so sleepy anymore. The rest of their five minutes is spent in silence with her heart slowly returning to its normal beat. Mina squeezes her hand once and time seems to go by slowly.

The door swing opens suddenly and Nayeon jumps, nearly hitting Mina’s jaw with her head. Then the lights switch on and Sana peeks inside, grinning broadly. For some reason, she shoots Mina a smug look. “Five minutes is up,” she says. 

Nayeon lets go of Mina’s hand and clambers out of the tub, blinking at the sudden brightness. “Finally,” she says, “I thought I was going to fall asleep.” 

“It’s a good thing you didn’t,” Tzuyu says from behind Sana, “because nobody would carry you back to your bed.” 

Shooting her a glare, Nayeon puts her hands on her hips. “You lie,” she says, “you all love me too much just to leave me here.” 

Sana and Tzuyu share a dubious look. Mina hides a laugh behind her hand. The eldest member of the group rolls her eyes and throws her hands up. God, such disrespect from the kids. “Whatever, I’m going to bed. No more movies!” she declares. 

Tzuyu sticks her tongue at her. 

Dahyun is in the living room playing a card game with Chaeyoung. The two turn to look at Nayeon when she passes by them. 

“Were you scared?” Chaeyoung asks. 

Nayeon shrugs, glancing behind her. Mina is leaning against the door of the bathroom, listening to Sana and Tzuyu. “Not really,” she says, thinking about how soft the kiss was, “I had Mina with me.” 

 //

Third time’s the charm.

//

Here’s the thing—

Mina is different than the rest of the members. Well, they’re all different to an extent. Some are loud and boisterous, the others quiet and meek. A few fall in between. Nayeon has always known herself to be the reckless one, the one who speaks without thinking and does things on impulse. When she kisses Mina on stage, it’s because of her sudden desire to do so. When she wraps her arms around Mina, it’s because of her need to feel warmth. When she says something flirty, she does it because she wants to see Mina squirm. There’s no thinking when it comes to her, just doing. She does it with every member of the group. Some of them return the gesture—especially Momo and Sana. The others don’t, like Tzuyu who rarely lets herself act her own age. 

But Mina thinks before she does. She takes a long time in choosing her meals because she thinks of what she wants to get first. She follows the cooking recipes down to the measurements to get the perfect outcome. She calculates her next move when she’s playing video games. It’s why she’s so quiet sometimes. Because she thinks. It’s one of the few things everybody loves about her. 

This is why it bugs Nayeon when Mina kissed her all those weeks ago and why she keeps doing it when they’re alone. Because she rarely does things out of nowhere. She only kisses Nayeon on stage when the older asks her to do so. She only falls into Nayeon’s arms when she gets hugged first. She only does things when Nayeon does them first. Because that’s just the way she is. Soft and gentle Minari.  What’s that Newton’s rule again? For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. 

Nayeon glances at her from the other side of the room. Jihyo and Sana are discussing something on their phones. Mina has a book propped open on top of her knees. As if sensing someone’s stare, she looks up. Nayeon immediately turns away, feeling like she’s been caught doing something scandalous. Which is stupid. So what if she stares? The problem is, Mina’s caught her staring so many times it probably is scandalous.

A few minutes pass. Nayeon sneaks a glance. Her stupid heart quickens when she sees that Mina’s gaze has yet to move away. 

With nothing else to do except play it cool, she blows a kiss. Mina blinks. It looks like she’s suffered a sudden malfunction in her brain. Nayeon grins broadly. A few seconds later, Mina finally returns to reading her book. The older of the two lets out a deep breath and looks back at whatever she’d been watching on her phone earlier, too preoccupied by her racing heart to notice the pink flush on Mina’s cheeks.

//

It goes on like that for awhile. 

Every time they find themselves alone, Mina always, always finds some way to kiss her. It doesn’t matter where. Her cheek, her forehead, the tip of her nose, the inside of her palm. Once, when Nayeon had a really bad dream, she crawled next to Mina on her bed. The younger girl awoke immediately and wrapped her arms around her. The comfort and warmth Nayeon felt made her feel like she was back home, protected and loved. Before she fell asleep, she felt Mina press a kiss on the corner of her shoulder.

They don’t speak about it. Normally, when Mina kisses her in public, she makes an aegyo expression. But when it’s just the two of them, she only looks away. Pretends it didn’t happen. Despite it being normal between all nine of them, it feels different with her. Charged. Purposeful. Like Mina thought about it clearly before doing it. Who would’ve thought? The loud and annoying Im Nayeon growing shy at a few chaste and platonic kisses from one of her dearest friends? If Jihyo and Jeongyeon knew, they would laugh their asses off. 

Nayeon tells herself it’s only affection. Mina is growing out of her shell. Who knows? She could be doing it with the other members as well. She decides to ask Jihyo about this while they’re preparing for a photoshoot. Sana can be heard in the other room, yelling at Momo to hurry up. The rest of the girls have their schedule the next day.

“Hey.” She kicks at her friend’s legs. 

Jihyo shoots her a reproachful look. “What?”

Nayeon finds it hard to phrase the question without revealing the whole thing. “Does Mina seem different to you?” 

“No, why?” 

“Like you know. Uhm.” Nayeon scratches her head in frustration. “More affectionate, I guess?” 

Jihyo shakes her head. “Not that I’ve noticed. She seems the same to me.” There’s a sudden pause. When Nayeon looks up, she finds her friend staring at her curiously. “Well, you guys spend more time together. Jeongyeon was starting to feel left out.”

“Of course she does. Jeongyeon might pretend to hate me but she clearly loves me.” 

Their leader rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Does it bother you if Mina’s more affectionate? You should be flattered, then.” 

“It doesn’t bother me,” Nayeon is quick to say, frowning at herself. If she isn’t bothered by it, then why does it affect her so much? 

“Good.” Jihyo tucks her phone in her back pocket. “Let’s go. They’re waiting for us.”

“You go ahead. I need to find my phone first.” Nayeon hears Jihyo’s footsteps fading away. Then she tries to rack her brain to where she last left her mobile. The room is a mess, as it always is. They never have enough time to clean up. At least Mina’s side of the room is sort of orderly. Nayeon finds herself staring at the bed, where she and Mina spent the other night spooning. She’s always felt the need to curl up next to someone during her nightmares. During their trainee days, her place of comfort was in Jeongyeon’s embrace. Somehow, it feels different with Mina. It always does. Perhaps she’s only starting to notice it now.

As she bends down under the bed to look for her phone, she hears, “What are you looking for?”

Mina. The person in her thoughts has materialised. 

“My phone,” Nayeon answers, letting out a huff when the underside of her bed turns up empty, “Jihyo’s going to kill me.” 

Silence. She glances at the door and realises that Mina has disappeared. Disappointment fills her bones. Wait, why? A part of her knows it’s because she’s waiting for a kiss. They are alone, after all. The larger, rational part of her brain chastises herself for being so hopeful. And desperate. God, if Mina knew the things that goes on in her brain every single time they’re alone, she’d never look at her the same way again. 

Nayeon resigns herself to a phone less day and moves to leave the room. However, just as she’s about to turn a corner, Mina pops up in front of her. It happens so fast Nayeon nearly stumbles backwards. The other girl catches her on time. 

“Don’t do that!” Nayeon whines, placing a hand on her chest. 

Mina giggles and lets go of her arm. “Sorry,” she says, not sounding sorry at all. Then she slips something into her unnie’s hands. It takes Nayeon a moment to realise it’s her phone. “You left it in the bathroom again.”

“Oh.” Nayeon must be wearing a strange look on her face because Mina’s triumphant smile falters. 

“Is there something wrong?” 

“No, no.” Something is clogging . She clears it. “Thank you.” 

Mina gives her a gummy smile. Her silver tooth shines. “Good luck on your photoshoot today, Nayeonnie.” 

There’s a moment of silence. It takes Nayeon a few seconds to realise she’s still waiting for the kiss. It always happens when they’re alone., after all. And even though she knows she’s going to get reprimanded by both Jihyo and their manager for being late to their photoshoot, she lingers in front of Mina. The smell of her perfume drifts in the air. Heaven. 

“What is it?” Mina asks, laughing nervously. She tucks an errant strand of hair behind her ear. 

Disappointment drops into Nayeon’s stomach. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asks carefully. 

“You were the one who forgot your phone.” 

“I—” 

“Nayeon!” Jihyo’s angry mom voice reaches her ears. 

She flinches. “Never mind,” she mutters, moving to the side. She barely takes a step forward before she feels Mina tug the back of her shirt. It’s not a forceful movement but it’s enough to get Nayeon to stop. She turns around, raising an eyebrow. The younger girl’s cheeks are dusted pink but she looks determined. Before the two of them can say anything, Mina leans forward and places a quick kiss on the side of Nayeon’s mouth. Nearly on her lips. Something in the older woman’s brain short-circuits. 

“Jihyo-unnie’s going to get mad at you,” Mina says calmly, letting go of her shirt and walking into their room. 

She already is, by the time Nayeon’s cleared her head and ran to their van. The scolding she receives goes in one ear and leaves through the next. Momo and Sana snicker at her from the backseat. Normally, Nayeon would make up some excuse and use her aegyo antics as a way to appease Jihyo’s anger. But at the moment, all she can think about is Mina—the pink on her cheeks, the softness of her lips and the way Nayeon felt the weight of her stare on her back as she leaves the house. 

It’s starting to drive her crazy. 

//

Mina kisses her everyday for the entire month. 

Nayeon pretends not to be affected by it. 

//

“Okay.” Nayeon manages to corner Mina one late night after everybody else has gone to sleep. She’d been waiting for the perfect opportunity to do so. When Mina stood up to go to the bathroom, she was quick to slip in after her. “What’s up?” 

Mina looks at her curiously. “You’re still awake?” 

“I was waiting for you,” Nayeon explains.

“To use the bathroom?” A quirky smile plays on Mina’s lips as she leans against the sink, crossing her arms as she does so. “You could’ve just asked me to come with you, Nayeonnie. I don’t mind.” 

That smile is starting to do things to Nayeon’s brain. She shakes her head forcefully. “I want to know why you’re doing this.” 

Silence. Mina’s smile has vanished, replaced with an anxious look. She starts twisting the sleeves of her jacket. “Are you talking about the kisses?” For some reason, she can’t meet her unnie’s gaze.

Nayeon nods slowly. “It’s not like I mind,” she says carefully, gauging the look on Mina’s face for her reaction, “It’s just—well, I’m curious. You’re not really the type of person who does this first, you know? And you always do it when we’re both alone.” 

“You mean the type of person who kisses other people?” 

“Yes.” 

Mina hums softly, tapping her chin. Then she nods. “Okay,” she says. 

“Wait. Okay, what?” Now it’s Nayeon’s turn to ask.

“Nothing.” 

“Mina.” 

“There’s no reason,” the Japanese woman states, her gaze growing harsher, “but if it bothers you so much, I’ll stop doing it.” She leaves the bathroom, even though she literally just stepped inside. Nayeon stands there with hanging open, unsure of what has just happened. She moves too slowly, her brain barely able to process what’s happened. By the time she’s turned around to call after the younger girl, she sees Mina slipping into the maknae line’s room and locking the door shut behind her. 

Nayeon knows she’s ed up.

//

The next few days, Mina ignores Nayeon’s presence. She’s always been quiet to begin with but now, Nayeon feels like a wall has been built up between the two of them. She doesn’t think it’d be possible to feel anything other than warmth from the other girl but all she feels now is a sense of coldness. The same coldness she felt back when they were in Switzerland. Only it’s worse with Mina. There’s something so awful about the icy treatment she’s receiving right now, especially after being showered with warmth and affection for the past few months.

Every time there’s a fan event, Mina chooses to sit next to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. She curls up to sleep when Nayeon shows up in their shared room. When they pass by each other in the corridors, she sidesteps out of the way, eyes firmly fixed on her phone. She barely spares Nayeon a glance. It reaches up the point where nearly everybody has noticed but hasn’t said anything about it. Usually, when there’s an argument between the girls, it’s best not to get directly involved in it. However, it doesn’t stop Jeongyeon and Jihyo from glaring at Nayeon every time she shows up in the room and Mina politely excuses herself out of it. Like it’s her fault. Even though it is. She hates admitting that it is.

“What on earth did you do now?” Jeongyeon questions disapprovingly one day after choreography. Nayeon watches Mina leave the room after the trainer dismisses them, followed quickly by Sana and Momo.

“What makes you think I did?” She grumbles, pinching the tips of her shoes. Her toes are starting to hurt. The memory of Mina taking off her slippers in exchange of her converse crosses her mind briefly. It doesn’t take long before she’s thinking about the kisses that have progressed from there. “She’s the one who started it.” 

“Started what, exactly?”

Nayeon sighs. Jeongyeon is her oldest friend. She can see through her lies as easily as looking through a two-way mirror. They wait for the rest of the members to leave one by one, opting to have an empty training room as the place to have this serious talk. By the time Dahyun has finally stumbled her way out, Jeongyeon quickly shuts the door. Nayeon’s sitting on the floor with her shoes off. She rubs her feet to get some relief. 

Jeongyeon sits in front of her and wrinkles her nose. “Ew.” 

“Shut your mouth.” 

“You feet stink.” 

“Do yours smell like flowers after every practice?” Nayeon snaps, suddenly tired and exhausted. Her heart wants to give out. She misses Mina more than she’d like to admit. 

Jeongyeon raises her hands, surrendering. “Okay, you got me there.” 

Silence. Nayeon continues to rub her feet, wondering where to start. She knows Jeongyeon is waiting.

“Come on.” The other girl pats her shoulder. “You can tell me what’s wrong.”

“That’s the thing,” Nayeon grumbles, “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“You can start by telling me the beginning of the story.” The younger member inches forward and opens up her arms. The look on Nayeon’s face must’ve been hilarious because she shrugs her shoulders. “You look out of it. More so than usual.”

“Well, that’s helpful.”

“You look like a kicked puppy every time Mina leaves the room.” 

Nayeon sighs and lets herself fall into her best friend’s arms. Jeongyeon hums and tightens her embrace. “I must not look very pretty during those moments, huh?” she asks. They both laugh because of course that’s the first thing Nayeon worries about. 

“The opposite, really. Our Minari must be really tough to resist your stupid puppy eyes.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Best friend duties.” They grow quiet. Jeongyeon runs her fingers through Nayeon’s hair. “What happened between you two?” 

Nayeon’s tired of pretending—like what Mina does to her doesn’t make her heart go crazy. Like her kisses and smiles aren’t the things that plague her mind. Like she doesn’t wait for the time where they’re both alone so that Mina can reach out and kiss her somewhere. Like it doesn’t sting her every time she walks away from her. Perhaps this was Mina’s intention from the very beginning. Mess with her head. Was it payback for something? What on earth has the older girl done? It doesn’t seem like it. Mina’s too good, too pure and too soft to even think of doing as heart wrenchingly painful as this. Nayeon rubs her eyes the more she thinks about it. She’s always been the type of person to crave affection from others but having received the same amount of affection by Mina—well, it feels too good to be true. Now it’s been taken away from her. All because she couldn’t keep her trap shut. 

“One day, she kissed me,” Nayeon begins, turning her head to look at Jeongyeon, “and hasn’t stopped until a few days ago.” 

“Like on the lips?” 

“No. Just anywhere else but.” 

Jeongyeon looks like she’s measuring the weight of her next words. “Why did she stop?” 

“Because I asked her.” Nayeon twists the sleeves of her sweater, the same way Mina did when she cornered her in the bathroom. “I asked her what the kisses were about. Then she got all weird about it and ignored me afterwards.”

“Oh, wow. You really are an idiot.” Jeongyeon pulls away and slaps her forehead. “Mina probably thinks you didn’t like the kisses. That’s why she’s ignoring you.”

“I never said I didn’t like the kisses!” Nayeon yells, indignant. 

“Well, does she know that?” 

Nayeon opens and closes like a blob fish. “I haven’t had the chance—”

“Nayeon, you’re an idiot. Seriously!” 

“What the hell did I do!” 

Jeongyeon repeatedly slaps her for good measure. “Go tell her that, you idiot!” 

“Tell her what, exactly?” Nayeon demands, frustrated. Being called an idiot never sits well with her. “That I like her kisses? That I can’t wait for us to be alone together? That she’s all I think about when there’s nothing to do? That it freaking hurts every time I see her walking away from me? How the hell am I supposed to tell her all these things, Jeongyeon? I can’t just do that to her.”

Jeongyeon stares at her, mouth slightly agape. “Wait.” Cogs seem to be turning inside her brain. “Do you like-like Mina?” 

Nayeon freezes. If it there wasn’t such truth in those words, she would’ve teased Jeongyeon for sounding so childlike. But she doesn’t. Because she’s thinking about it. It doesn’t make any sense but at the same time, it does. It hits her right there and then—the way her heart flutters when Mina kisses her, the way her nose picks up on Mina’s heavenly scent, the way her eyes follow Mina when she enters the room. They’ve known each other for years now but when Nayeon thinks about Mina in the present moment, it’s like she’s an entirely brand new person. Instead of the shy young girl Nayeon is used to babying around, she sees her differently now. The type of girl who kisses other people because she wants to. Where on earth did this new surge of confidence come from? This is what the kisses have done to Nayeon. Given her a taste of what it’s like to be enveloped in love by Myoui Mina. Now she’s sitting here, after being ignored by the person she’s craved attention the most, and she realises she badly wants to know how far Mina is willing to go, wants to know if there’s any other spot in her body she wants to kiss.

“,” she says and Jeongyeon facepalms once again.

//

It takes a lot of convincing but Nayeon manages to lock herself in the room with Mina. It takes the combined effort of both Momo (“Hey, Minari, can I borrow a charger?”) and Chaeyoung to lock the door after Momo leaves the room while Mina’s still inside. When she hears the telltale sound of a chair being pulled up under the knob, Nayeon emerges from under the bed she’s been hiding in, prompting Mina to scream in shock. 

“Nayeonnie!” Mina yells, clutching her heart, “you scared me.” 

Nayeon raises her hands. “I had to talk to you,” she says sheepishly, “and people have told me I’m pretty persistent.” 

Mina smooths her expression into a neutral one. “I’ve told you before,” she says, an edge to her tone, “I don’t plan on bothering you any longer.” She turns and tries to swing the door open. It won’t budge. She tries again. Chaeyoung and Momo can be heard giggling from the other side. Mina shoots Nayeon an exasperated look. 

“You weren’t bothering me,” Nayeon says. 

“It seemed like I did.” 

The older woman sighs and shakes her head. “I wasn’t bothered by it. In fact, I kind of uhm…liked it.”

Mina’s expression shifts. It’s not hard to know what she’s thinking about. She probably doesn’t believe her. Maybe Nayeon believes she knows her that well. Whatever the case, she knows she can’t let Mina leave the room without clearing things up, without telling her what’s been on her mind ever since she had that talk with Jeongyeon. As she thinks through these lines, fear grips her heart. What if she’s misunderstood? What if she s things up even more than she already has? She takes a deep breath. She’s Im Nayeon, for God’s sake. She doesn’t get scared. Besides, she’s older than everybody else here. What on earth would her members say if their unnie can’t even confess her feelings?

“You liked it?” Mina questions, incredulous. 

Nayeon sighs and sinks into the younger girl’s bed. When she pats the space next to her, Mina hesitates but gives in. 

“I know you’re not the most affectionate person in our group,” the older girl begins, scratching the back of her neck. Even though it’s been a few days, being in Mina’s close proximity is starting to make her heart pound. “I’m sorry that my asking you about the whole kissing thing made you feel like I was bothered by it. I’m not, I promise. In fact, I uhm…I always want you to do it.”

Mina’s eyebrows meet in the middle as she frowns. “You…want me to do it?” 

“Yes. It’s one of the highlights of my day.” 

“Highlights?” 

Nayeon rolls her eyes and lightly pushes Mina’s shoulder. “Are you going to keep repeating everything I say?”

“If you’re going to keep talking impossible things then yes, Nayeonnie.”

Now it’s now Nayeon’s turn to frown. “Why is it impossible?”

Mina looks away. “Well, you’re…you. Everybody’s always showering you with kisses and stuff like that. You’re the popular one. If you asked, I think everybody would give you what you want. So I didn’t think me kissing you on the cheek would actually, you know, have this weird effect on you.” The words are spoken in a quick ramble. Nayeon reaches out and holds Mina’s hands, stilling her trembling fingers. 

“Why did you kiss me that first time? When we were both alone? You rarely do things out of the blue,” the older girl asks quietly.

There’s something written all over Mina’s face. Nayeon just isn’t sure if she’s reading it right. 

“Because I wanted to,” Mina confesses.

“You wanted to?” Nayeon’s brains short-circuits. Is Mina saying what she thinks she’s saying? 

“Yes. It’s hard not to. After you kissed me on the lips during that one interview—” There’s a short pause “—I’ve liked you ever since.”

“Interview?” Oh. The brief peck Nayeon placed on Mina’s lips in front of everybody. I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

A smug look crosses Mina’s face briefly. “Now you’re repeating everything I say.” 

“Well, I have to, because I’m starting to assume you like me the same way I like you,” Nayeon mumbles, squeezing the other girl’s hand. She doesn’t realise the enormity of her words until the silence envelops them both. When she raises her head, she sees that Mina is staring at her with a dumbfounded look. “Oh crap, did I say that out loud?” 

Mina nods mutely. Nayeon lets go of her hands to run her fingers through her hair. 

“I was supposed to say that in a super suave way,” she begins, laughing to herself and not seeing the growing blush on Mina’s cheeks, “Like you know, tell you that I like you. As more than a friend. I even had this whole speech planned out in my head! It was supposed to start with me telling you that since you kissed me that day when my feet hurt, you kind of changed things for me. Like how I can’t look at you the same way anymore. You laugh at something Dahyun does and I can’t help but stare. You tell me something about your day and I can’t look away. You kiss me on the cheek or the nose or even the corner of my mouth and I can’t stop the goosebumps. Mina, I seriously don’t know what you’ve done to me but—”

Mina suddenly tugs on her hand. Nayeon blinks. There’s the familiar press of lips against her cheek again. Only this time, it doesn’t end quickly. It lingers. Her heart picks up again, faster than ever. The scent of heaven wafts through the air. She’s missed this. After a few days of being denied this simple pleasure, it occurs to her just how badly she doesn’t want Mina to stop kissing her. If Mina agrees to do so, Nayeon’s certain she’d let the Japanese woman kiss her anywhere and anytime. No matter the eyes watching them. 

She doesn’t realise she’s holding her breath until Mina pulls away. 

“Oh,” she says, blushing furiously, “What was that for?” 

“To stop you from rambling,” Mina answers smugly. 

“I was rambling?” Nayeon mentally slaps herself. She never rambles. Totally not suave. 

Mina shifts so that they’re facing each other properly and takes both of her unnie’s hands into her own. Nayeon takes this time to look at her carefully, memorising every single detail she finds beautiful in the younger girl—the long brown hair swept on one side, the tiny moles on her forehead, nose and upper lip, the pink flush on cheeks and the gummy smile she has on her lips. Utterly gorgeous. Nayeon thinks Mina is going to be the death of her. 

“You know,” Mina begins nonchalantly, her fingers tracing circles on the older woman’s palm, “you don’t have to tell me how you feel—you can always just show me. Right?”

Nayeon’s brain takes its sweet time in processing those words. By the time she gets what Mina’s trying to say, the younger woman is still watching her carefully. “Oh,” she says, like the idiot that she is. If Jeongyeon were here, she’d facepalm herself again. 

Just like old times, Nayeon takes the first step. She doesn’t think—she does. Palming Mina’s face with both hands, she glances into the other girl’s eyes—finds the same desire and longing reflected there—before she leans down and presses their lips together. The kiss is chaste at first. The same way Mina’s first peck on the cheek was. But as the seconds pass, Nayeon’s heart beats with less want and more need. She pushes herself forward and Mina pulls her in. The kiss deepens. They explore slowly and carefully, as if they have all the time in the world, which Nayeon realises that they do. No more pretending. No more kisses on the cheek. No more skirting around each other, too afraid to admit that this has grown into something new, something they can no longer ignore. 

Mina pulls away first and Nayeon chases after her lips, not caring if she looks desperate. The younger girl laughs and puts a finger on to stop the pursuit. Nayeon whines. 

“Wait,” Mina says, smiling that adorable gummy smile. The silver tooth flashes again. 

“What?” 

“I just need to tell you something first,” Mina begins shyly, “I don’t just like you, Nayeonnie. Ever since you kissed me that one time, I’ve been in love with you.” 

A blush forms on the Nayeon’s cheeks as she grins. The words are like music to her ears. “Idiot,” she says in Japanese since that’s the one of the few things she’s heard Momo tell Sana a couple of times. She leans down and kisses the younger girl soundly, murmuring against her lips, “Isn’t it obvious that I’m in love with you too?” 

//

“So.” 

“So?”

“During that movie Tzuyu forced us to watch, you only screamed because you wanted to get stuck with me in the bathroom, right?” 

“Hmmm.” 

“Minari.” 

“Yes.” 

“God, don’t do that!” 

“Do what?” 

“Make me fall for you all over again!”

“I’m only answering your question, Nayeonnie.”

Kiss. “What was that for?” 

“Nothing. I just like being able to do that now.”

“Well, you can do it everyday if you want.” 

“I’ll take you up on that offer.” 

“Good, as you should.”