"My body is dying." I mumbled between two breathing.
"Stop being pretentious." Chuckled my friend.

I was lay down on the couch, my arms almost touching the floor. I sighed while turning my head, looking at Rocky. He was sitting next to my head, on the couch.

"But I am just SO tired, you know."

He patted on my head, I closed my eyes while frowning. I hated when he acted like this, as if I was a kid.

Truth was : I overworked. I recorded many TV shows recently. Actually, and it's a first, we all were pretty busy. Eunwoo and Moonbin with acting, Jinjin with rapping, MJ and I with our variety show. Only Rocky had time off.

His fingers patted my head another time, but it felt more like a gentle tap... A caress?

"I wish I was busy like you."

I opened my eyes quickly, looking at my friend while worrying. I knew what he was thinking deep down. He might think nobody noticed it but... I noticed.

"Aren't you working on dance routine recently? You are pretty busy too."

I bit my lips, feeling stupid. I shouldn't have said I felt like this in front of my friend.

"That's nothing."

I sat down, then touched my neck.

"Stop saying nonsense. I know you work harder than me."

Just before he could argue I talked again.

"About that, it's time we take a small vacation, don't you think?"
"A vacation?"

I nodded, trying to put my biggest smile. I noticed a small movement in his lips, almost like a smile too, before he closed his eyes.

"But you have a recording in three days."
"Then we have three nights to spend together. Where would you like to go?"

He scratched his neck, looking away a moment, thinking. Few seconds later, he looked at me with the warmest eyes I saw in a while. He opened his mouth, but before a word could get out, he sighed. Happiness seemed gone too.

What the hell? What happened?

"What is it? Where did you wanna go?"
"It was a stupid idea."
"I'm sure it wasn't. Let me know, I wanna go."
"Not a good idea."

I frowned.

"Just tell me already. Is it because it cost too much? We can ask for money. I don't care. I just wanna spend time with my best friend."
"You won't like the idea."

I grunted.

"Can you stop putting words in my mouth? You don't know if I'll dislike the idea. For all we know, I might LOVE the place."

Rocky looked at the floor silently a moment.

"I wanna go camping."

I blinked, then smiled.

"It's not a bad idea. I'm sure we can have fun, playing guitar, eating marshmallow."

My friend looked at me from the side, a small smile on his lips.

"You sure you are okay with it?"

I nodded.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

 

Rocky recently received his driving license. Meaning he drove us to the woods. We rent a small car, put our two borrowed tents inside and drove far from home, just him and I. The road trip was fun, it was a beautiful road with a nice view. We sang along to the radio for a while then became silent. It took maybe four hours to arrive at destination. Silence was comfortable between us. Words are overrated. Feelings are what matters after all.

"We're here." Said Rocky while shutting down the car. It was dusk and light was getting away. I smiled at my friend while he looked at me.
"This getaway's gonna be awesome."

He answered with a small smile. He sure looked cute when he acted like this.

"You sure you wouldn't like it better at home? I mean I get it, you are pretty busy those days and-"

I cut him right away.

"Stop it, will you? There's nothing I like more than being with you. Plus, you need this vacation too. You don't show it but I know you are tired of working your off all the time."
"I'm not."

I closed my eyes, trying to keep calm. I turned my head to him and put my hand on his arm.

"Do you think I never noticed how you come home late? How you are the first to go to the studio in the morning? How tired you always look? Stop lying to me. I know you need time off too."

Rocky looked at my hand, then at me. His lips opened slowly, as if he was about to talk, but again, he kept silent. I smiled anyway, because I knew he was probably unable to express the guilt he has been experiencing.

"Let's go set up our tents before it's too dark."

I got off the car, then opened the trunk and took few things - my backpack, our water bottles and food, few part of our tents. Rocky took everything else, and we walked quietly in the woods. After a moment, I talked, unsure if my legs would support me a long time.

"Is it far?"
"We are almost there... Is... Is it too heavy? I can take your backpack if you want."

I looked at him and giggled.

"And where would you put it? You already have one of your back, silly."

He just shrugged his shoulders, smiling lightly.

"Just want to make sure you are still okay with this. It's so far from home, I'm sorry."
"Stop being sorry. I'm an adult. If I wasn't interested, I would have say no. I would have stay home. Now I am here with you. Deal with it okay?"

He chuckled. Few meters later, Rocky stopped walking in front of me. When I noticed why, my eyes became bigger.

"Oh my god, that view is gorgeous." I mumbled as I walked to a small spot where we could put our tent.

Behind us the trees completely hide the city, while in front, as we were at the top of a hill, the view was astonished. We could see the ocean from afar. The sky was bright of stars and the moon was almost full.

"Right? Even if it's far, I knew you would like it here. I used to come here often before."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Before? I never knew you liked camping that much."
"I... Yeah. I guess I do. I like it because it's quiet and I can be alone."

I blinked, feeling bad for my friend. Sure, I knew he had hard time making friends and talking to strangers. And sure I knew he felt better alone most of the time. But it always surprises me. How alone Rocky is.

"Let's put our tents." I mumbled, feeling a little bit awkward.
"Right. I'll help you with yours first."

We borrowed the two tents from a friend of Rocky's. Rocky had a tent, but it was at home - his real home. Meaning we were total noobs with this set up. After a good 20 minutes, I looked at the messed we did and sighed. It shouldn't be that difficult. Why is it that difficult?

"Rocky, I think something is wrong."

He looked at me with two parts of the tent, looking lost.

"It's probably the model. It should fit. It should work. My friend told me he used it recently and there was no problem."

I was becoming tired fast. I was hoping we could eat marshmallow and drink beer tonight, but as far as it's happening, I would just sleep under the stars soon.

"Let's just sleep outside." I mumbled while looking around.
"What? No! I'll do it. You can sit on the log while I finish if you want. I'll figure it out. How hard can it be?"

I sat down and looked at my friend cussing against our first tent. After a while, my eyes felt heavy and my breathing became slower.

"Sanha?"

I felt a hand on my arm. I lift my head while opening my eyes. Rocky was looking at me with a small smile. Mine grew wider to his sight.

"Rocky..."

I blinked and looked around. If he woke me up, it's because he finished the camping stuff right? I scratched my eyes while noticing only one tent was set up.

"W-what time is it? Gosh I am so tired."
"Around 2 AM."
"But I wanted to eat marshmallow and beer and sing songs and..."

I sounded like a kid that was disappointed. I sighed as I realized it. Rocky was giggling next to me.

"We can do it tomorrow. Now, I woke you up because I wanted to let you know you can go sleep in your tent."
"Hm? Where's the other? Where will you sleep?"
"Doesn't matter. I'll put mine after you have been to sleep."
"But it's 2AM."
"And?"
"Aren't you tired?"

He shrugged his shoulder.

"If you have trouble with your tent, just come sleep in mine. I'm sure it's big enough."

Rocky looked at me strangely. I raised my shoulder, too tired to think about anything.

"I'll go sleep okay? Do whatever pleases you. Just know I don't mind if you wanna join me. And thank you for everything. Sorry I'm a lazy and unhelpful ."

I chuckled, but Rocky stayed silent. I walked slowly to the tent. The inside was pretty small, but we could definitively fit, the two of us. I was too tired to argue with him. I just passed out few seconds later on the side.

 

I woke up between twos dreams because I heard a sound outside. It took a moment to my mind to make sense of everything. Right, I was camping with Rocky. We were in the woods. I looked around me and I was still alone.

Did he put on his tent? I stood up slowly. I slept for a while already but my body is still tired, so I look a little off.

I put my head off the tent and my heart stopped a second. Rocky was sleeping on the floor, on his back. As I made a noise while moving, his head turned to me. He smiled lightly.

"Hey." He mumbled.
"Why aren't you sleeping in my tent? Just come here stupid. You'll catch a cold."
"I won't. Plus I have bad sleeping habits. It's not a good idea."
"Stop saying nonsense. We stayed in the same room for years. You never bothered me. Come here now before I become angry."
"I... I prefer staying outdoor."

I frowned.

"Are you saying you prefer sleeping outside than sleeping in the same place as me? That's insulting."
"Sanha, don't overthink it. It's just more safe for me here."
"You are so stubborn. If you get sick tomorrow, and we need to go home earlier, that will be your fault."

Before he could say anything, I went back inside and closed my eyes, angry.
 

I woke up few hours later to the sounds of birds. I opened my eyes to noticed something moving next to me. I blinked. When my eyes could make sense of what I was seeing. I ran outside at the speed of light while shouting.

As my mind wasn't all there when I woke up, and as last night was pretty warm, Rocky met me outside while I was only in briefs. He looked lost, then stood up.

"Is everything okay? W-what are you doing out dressed like that?"

I suddenly realized the stupidity of the situation, while I tried to hide my parts.

"T-there's a bug. Next to my pillow."
"A bug?"
"A big huge damn bug. You know me. Bug. Eww."

He chuckled while walking to the tent. He came back a moment later with his two hands closed together. He smiled at me before walking few feet away and releasing the bug. He came back, feeling quite happy.

"It's fine now. I took care of it."
"Thanks... It was so disgusting... What an horrible way to wake up."

He scratched his neck, then looked away.

"I knew this was a bad idea, this camping."
"What? No. It will be fun."
"Sanha, there're bugs everywhere."
"And you'll protect me. I'll be fine."

He looked at me so seriously, I had no other choice than to laugh. I walked to our luggage, took the stuff to cook food and install it. Rocky looked at me while I tried to not burn too many eggs and rice. He didn't argue when I gave him a plate, even if it didn't look appealing.

"Thanks." He mumbled between two bites.

I ate too, feeling quite proud of myself. Even if I wasn't the best cook, I could manage. And I'm getting better! Jinwoo helped me a lot recently, teaching me stuff. After washing our dishes, we sat down, admiring the view.

Yesterday, it was dark. We couldn't see much. But this morning the view is breath taking. We can see the valley with all the trees and the small rivers, and also the ocean, not that far from here.

"Was it always this beautiful? Sometimes, I miss this kind of view. As we are always in the city." I mumbled almost to myself.

"I think it was even better before, but you know. It's just... Different."

I looked at Rocky, who wasn't looking at the view, but at his feet. I felt at ease with him. It's strange, being this close to someone and yet, I still learn a lot about him every day. We played guitar and sang song for a while, then we decided we would walk around in the woods.

Everything was fine until the biggest bug I saw in my life ran on my face and then I absolutely lost it. I ran so fast, without thinking much. The wood was big and it was easy to get lost. After a while, I stopped running and looked around myself.

"."

No sign of Rocky. Where was I? I scratched my neck, feeling stressed.

"Rocky?" I shouted.

As there was no answer, I shout his name louder and louder. I looked at my phone - no reception. I tried to walked back to the camp, but I wasn't sure where I was going. Now, I am an adult. A big boy. But it doesn't mean I'm the most courageous. As stressed took over all others emotions, I felt tears building up.

"ROCKY! STOP PLAYING AROUND. WHERE THE F- ARE YOU!"

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears falling down easily. I wipe them, angry at myself. I am lost. I'm so lost. Because I am afraid of a stupid bug. Now, how can I find the way back? Should I go left or right? I am not sure. I think I heard once that if you get lost, it's better to stay still. Is it true? Did I misunderstand? I sat down, hiding my face and trying to get better. I was a mess, I can't think straight like this. I must find the strength to -

"SAN-HA!!!"

I heard a voice from afar. My eyes opened quickly, my ears trying to find where was the sound. I heard my friend shout again, and then I was sure, he was somewhere on my left.

"R-Rocky!" My voice was broken, having shout a lot in the last hour.

I start to walk, then to race in his direction.

"SAN-HA!"

He was still shouting, helping me find my way back to him. My vision was blurry from the tears. I just wanted to be near of him. It's all that matter right now. I saw him, few meters away from me. I ran so fast.

"SAN-"

He stopped shouting when he noticed me. Then he ran to me, looking worried as hell. I hugged him with all the strength I had, hiding my eyes in his shoulder. Tears were falling down like a river on my cheeks. We stayed silent a moment, he waited for me to get better, to stop my tears. When he noticed I calmed down, he backed off, still holding me lightly.

"Why did you ran off? I was so worried. Did I do something?"

My cheeks began to burn. I felt stupid. How can I tell him I ran because of a damn bug? He'll think I'm crazy.

"Sanha... Please. I'm sorry if I did something wrong."

He looked at me with such sad eyes. I could feel his hands holding me tight.

"I should be the one apologizing. I ran off because a bug land on my face. I'm sorry if I was stupid."

He looked at me silently a moment, then hugged me strongly.

"Just don't run away in the woods again okay? I'll... I'll protect you better."

I smiled, already feeling better.

"You will? Even if it's the biggest bug in the universe?"
"I'll try! As long as you don't run away from me again."

I chuckled as I noticed he had red cheeks.

"Can we go back to the camp now?" I asked with a small voice. He answered by nodding.

We walked silently, walking next to each other. When my friend noticed I walked slower or if a bug came too close, he looked at me with worry. It made me giggled. When I finally noticed my tent, I was smiling widely. I sat down next to our fire pit and sighed. Rocky sat next to me without saying a word. Our eyes met, I smiled and he blushed again. I giggled. Why was he acting cute like that? He's unreal. We looked at the valley for a while, just thinking about stuff in general. We randomly talked about our thoughts too. It wasn't weird. It was just us.

"I should build my own tent. Otherwise, I'll need to sleep outdoor again."

Rocky stood up, but before he could move, I grabbed his wrist.

"Stop saying nonsense. There's enough place for both of us in my tent."

Rocky stayed quiet a moment, then sighed.

"I told you it's not a good idea yesterday."
"Yeah, right, because of your sleeping habits. You sleep right next to Moonbin every night and you guys are fine. Stop saying nonsense. You are sleeping in my tent tonight."

He was about to argue again, when I cut him.

"And what about bugs? You told me you would protect me earlier. Are you backing off?"
"It's not fair." He mumbled.
"What?"
"You can't play that card whenever you want..."
"I woke up to a bug next to my face. I ran outside almost . Don't you remember?"

He nodded, again with pink cheeks.

"O-okay." He said almost with no voice.

I thought he would argue, but he didn't. I smiled, proud of it.

It was almost night, the sun was gone. Only few rays of sun could be seen. I stood up and walked to the cooler, took few beers and walked back next to Rocky. I gave him one and sat down. We drank silently for a while. Quickly, I could feel my cheeks burning under the alcohol.

"Why are you working so hard?"
"Hm?"
"If I could sleep all day, I would. I'm so tired."

Rocky chuckled next to me.

"I'm not working that much."
"I told you to not lie to me yesterday. I know when you leave and when you come back."
"I don't work all that time. I just..."

He stayed quiet, then look away from me. I raised an eyebrow, curious.

"You just?"
"I just hide away from people."
"Hide away? From whom? Do you have problems with someone? Can I help you with it?"

He looked at me with a smirk. I frowned.

"What? I just want to be a good friend. If someone bothers my best friend, I should punch them!"

Rocky laughed some more. It made me smile and felt good, seeing him like that, happy.

"I don't really have problems like you think. And I never knew you were a fighter."
"I can if it's needed. I'm not sure I'll win, but I can try."

He chuckled some more.

"You should let me do the punching, you'll hurt yourself."
"I am not that fragile! I can punch and kick with my big legs!"
"Right."

I punch him lightly on the shoulder. I knew it wasn't a strong punch, it was just for fun. Rocky chuckled, then became serious.

"You wanna fight?"
"I'm sure I'll win!!!" I said while standing up.
"Only if I let you win."

We fought gently for a while, giggling. We were pretty drunk and stupid. We probably looked like we been 10 years old, but I didn't mind. Rocky's my friend and we are having fun. Rocky finally won, pushing me on the floor. He smiled at me while he was sitting on the top of me. He was holding my arms strongly while I tried to move around and free myself. His eyes met mine and he suddenly became serious. I blinked, unsure what was wrong. Come to think of it... Rocky was acting strange for a while now. I pushed him while playing around, he felt right next to me, staying silent. As he wasn't moving or saying anything I poked him. His eyes looked so lost, my heart hurt.

"Hey, you alright?"

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"I'm fine. I-I'll be fine."
"So, something IS wrong."

Rocky sat down, looking away.

"Is it about the problems you told me earlier? The reason why you stay away from home?"

He didn't need to agree, his body spoke for him. He looked even more lost and hurt at that moment.

"Why have you keep it to yourself? I could have help. We could all have helped you."
"Actually, you couldn't have helped me at all."

I sighed, feeling suddenly sad and disappointed in what my friend just told me.

"Am I that useless for you?"
"W-what? No. Sanha... It