Liquid Sunshine

A Little Drop of Sunlight

 

"I told you I don't want anything. I'm not hungry."

Jongdae acted unfazed, and placed the sugary drink on the table, anyway.

"It's just a drink," he waved him off, slipping into the seat across him. He'd figured Jongin could need a sweet treat after such a long day at school. Recently, Jongin always seemed tense and exhausted. He'd grown quiet, too. His mother penned it on puberty, but Jongdae didn't see how that justified just leaving him be.

"You call this a drink? A glass of water is a drink," Jongin commented unhappily, staring at the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle with obvious disdain.

"I thought you like this one?" Jongdae asked, a little puzzled, and refusing to show that despite Jongin's recent, bad temper, he was still getting to him.

For a moment, Jongin stared at his drink with an unreadable look.

Then he got to his feet in one, rapid motion, catching the eyes of other customers around them.

"I don't want it, okay?! I didn't ask for it, either," he snapped, a little too loud, catching Jongdae off guard. Jongin's shoulders drew up when he realized that people were staring.

"I'll wait somewhere else," he muttered, grabbed his jacket and left the store.

Jongdae stared after him, still a little shocked by the sudden outburst.

It was just a drink.

Just a stupid, chocolate-flavoured drink.

Just... some good intentions and him trying to cheer up his little brother.

Jongdae stared at the table, feeling all the misery he'd pushed aside well up now that he was alone.

He'd only meant well.

They didn't use to be like that. Jongin used to ask him to go shopping all the time, whining until he spent his much bigger pocket money on sweets while they waited for their bus after school. They used to be in tune, with Jongdae being the playfully irresponsible, but indulgent brother while Jongin was the younger, surprisingly mature and responsible one.

Sure, Jongdae knew they couldn't stay kids forever. But this wasn't about that. Something was up with Jongin and he didn't want to talk to him about it.

And despite feeling like himself, despite everything, Jongdae had simply wanted to cheer him up.

Wasn't there anything going well these days?

"Ah, sorry about that, should I take this away? I can get you some pastries instead, mark it as a mixed up order."

Jongdae blinked away the first, stubborn tears to see a young, handsome waiter beside the table, already reaching for the drink.

He must be looking really pitiful right now for a stranger to be this kind.

"It's okay," he said hoarsely, shaking his head. "Thanks. You can keep the drink, if you like it."

The waiter grimaced, but the smile was still there.

"Ah, I'm afraid I can't eat or drink on the job-"

He really was handsome, which made this awkward conversation even more embarrassing, but before Jongdae could get up and leave like Jongin had, the waiter pushed the drink back towards the middle of the table.

"-but my shift ends in a bit. I'll just leave it here so it won't be dumped, okay?"

Jongdae blinked. So he was going to hold on to  it for the time being? It made sense, and yet it was somewhat confusing. It was probably the way he spoke, like they were actually friends.

"Sure," Jongdae only said, watching the waiter shoot him a bright smile before bustling to the next tables to collect empty glasses and plates.

For a moment, Jongin and his parents slipped into the background in favour of the peculiar, nice-looking waiter. He couldn't be much older than him and he was tall, with soft, kind features and a loud, deep voice. His laugh was also nice, Jongdae thought absently as he sipped on his drink, watching him as discreetly as possible.

Maybe it was simply nice to see people being actually happy and carefree. It was strangely soothing.

Jongdae had just finished his beverage when the waiter reappeared with pastries and another drink.

"Leftovers," he explained as he placed everything on the table with practiced ease, sinking into the seat across him. "But don't tell anyone."

"Of course not," Jongdae replied, because really, there wasn't much else to say. He'd half expected for the other to just grab the drink, maybe thank him and leave, but now he made himself comfortable, sighing and stretching his neck.

"Sorry, long day," he hummed, and Jongdae nodded, pretending not to feel the confused tingling in his nether regions when the boy threw his head back, showcasing his adam's apple. Jongdae felt like an absolute idiot with the way he sat there, staring at him like he was an alien, but he just didn't know what to say. Usually, he was good at social interactions but the day had been somewhat awful enough already without him being tossed into this random situation and being reminded of his uality.

The waiter didn't seem to register his apprehension and simply grabbed a partly crumbled cookie off the plate.

"So, is that your favourite drink off the menu? Here, this one's for you," he interrupted himself, shifting the second drink a little closer to Jongdae. "It's almost the same as your first one cause I didn't know what you like. Hope it's not too much or anything."

Jongdae shook his head, trying to remember how to speak. He grabbed the straw and took a sip.

"Thanks," he began, and when the other looked at him encouragingly, he added, "yeah, it is my favourite drink. Do you have one, too, or are you sick of the entire menu already?"

 

Chanyeol was his name, but for some reason, Jongdae only found out two hours later, when they parted. He thought about that as he rode the bus home, how names were surprisingly insignificant, despite them being, well... names. Instead, they'd talked about coffee and pastries, and customers and restaurants, about everything and nothing. Chanyeol was a part-timer, for both the coffee shop and a karaoke bar, apparently. He did have a few school anecdotes of his own, but didn't seem to study. Jongdae wondered whether he was a drop out.

Either way, he was full of life and smiles, and maybe, if Jongdae was only a little lucky, he'd get to be this happy, too, one day.

Maybe things would turn out alright.

By the time he got home, Jongin had long arrived, taking an earlier bus. Jongdae knew because he bumped into him, leaving the apartment just as he entered.

It became obvious why he'd done so soon enough, with how their parents were arguing again. Something about a new TV his father insisted on getting. It had already spiraled into an argument over who wasted the most money and on what specifically, and Jongdae simply stood there, with his back leaning against a wall, hidden from their sight.

Suddenly, the thought of him spending money on pretty drinks made him feel sick and guilty.

Maybe, if he simply didn't study, like Chanyeol, he could provide for his parents instead of being their cause of arguments. Maybe Jongin would stop scowling at him, too, if they saved up for his education instead.

University hadn't even started yet, and Jongdae already felt like the family's downfall.

 


 

 

"You know, it's okay if you're busy," Jongdae began, absently running his fingers through the perspiration on his glass. He'd ordered a plain water that day. If he was being honest, it was the third time he'd stopped by the store, but Chanyeol had never been there.

And sure, the other had offered to meet up again, but that might have just as well been a phrase, something to end their spontaneous meetup pleasantly. The last thing Jongdae wanted was to be a burden to anyone else.

Chanyeol shook his head, and his brown curls softly bounced along.

"Told you I'm free today," he shrugged, looking up into the blue sky with a content sigh.

"Sitting outside is so much nicer, isn't it?"

Jongdae followed his gaze, immediately blinking against the bright sunlight. He was right. The sky was blue, the clouds of a fluffy white, and Jongdae felt a little better already.

"It is."

When Jongdae looked back down, colorful lights dancing before his eyes, Chanyeol was looking at him instead of the sky, smiling like Jongdae had just done anything worth his attention.

Only then did it dawn on him that he was smiling too, albeit only a little bit.

Awkwardly, he ducked his head.

"Sorry," he muttered, busying himself with his glass, shifting it to broaden the wet circle on the table. "I'm not usually this lame. Probably."

"Yeah, you do seem a bit troubled," Chanyeol commented lightly. He tried to make himself comfortable, but Jongdae doubted his long frame could slouch into a pleasant position in the metal chairs.

"I've just... I've been in a bit of a slump lately," Jongdae admitted. It wasn't like him, to be this open about things, but something about Chanyeol was so easy-going and encouraging that it felt like he wouldn't be much of a burden to him. Surely, he wouldn't take his lame story to heart.

"Like... I'm about to start studying next semester," Jongdae began. Chanyeol hummed to show that he was listening.

"And my parents are currently taking care of the student fees. We're- not rich. Like, we're getting by. But now they had to take a loan and..."

"And now they're re-budgeting," Chanyeol finished matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Jongdae breathed out. It sounded less devastating when Chanyeol put it like that.

"That... ," he added slowly, sounding thoughtful. "But that's what parents do, right? There's hardships but ultimately, they do it because you're their son and they want you to receive the education you deserve, right?"

"It's not just," Jongdae began, realizing that no, it was exactly that, but more. "They fight. A lot. And I also have a brother who is pretty pissed about all of this. What if he wants to study as well? He only has two more years of high school left..."

Jongdae trailed off, but there really was no point in stopping now.

"I think he hates me because I'm the reason they fight."

And I can't take that anymore, Jongdae thought, but didn't say. He just wanted to return to the time when everything was easier, when his parents were joking around instead of sighing, and when Jongin was his whiny, but loving brother.

"Maybe I just shouldn't study at all."

There, he'd said it.

"Maybe I should just get a job and save up money so my brother can study, and my parents wouldn't have to struggle so much. He's smarter than me, anyway."

It sounded neat actually.

"Do you want to study?"

Chanyeol was looking at him patiently, curiously, really.

Jongdae shrugged.

"I want a good job later on-"

"What kind of job?" Chanyeol asked without missing a beat.

"I'm... not sure," Jongdae mumbled, but Chanyeol hadn't started laughing so far, so he could try his luck, couldn't he?

"Maybe something with biology and chemistry. There's a few jobs in that area that are sought after at the moment, and that sound interesting-"

"Then you need to study," Chanyeol cut him off, again, entirely nonchalant.

Jongdae sighed.

"I know. But I don't want to cause so much trouble for my family. Is my selfish desire really worth it?"

"It's only selfish if you think your family doesn't care at all," Chanyeol pointed out, and Jongdae buried his face on his arms with a noncommittal hum. It sounded logical, but a part of him had hoped that Chanyeol would encourage him not to study. Like he was apparently doing it.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Jongdae asked, pressing his cheek into his arm to face Chanyeol. "If I get a job and my grades drop, then it was all in vain. And I never applied for a scholarship. Not to mention that my school grades weren't exactly impressive..."

Chanyeol hummed, his fingers drumming on the table.

"Sorry, I don't know why I'm dumping all this on you," Jongdae winced, hiding his face. "We only met yesterday and I'm already-"

"But can't you still get a scholarship?"

"Huh?"

Chanyeol made a helpless gesture.

"I mean, I think I heard something like this before. That you get scholarships for certain years or semesters. Your school grades may not make the cut, but maybe you can do it if you're studying a specific area you're actually interested in?"

Jongdae slowly sat up.

"That's a thing?" he asked hesitantly, and Chanyeol grimaced.

"I'm not an expert, obviously, but I think it's worth looking into. Yanno, I'm kind of a dummy, so I don't make for a good study partner, but I can hook you up with a part-time job for sure. Actually, karaoke bars mostly employ students since the hours are so convenient."

Jongdae must have look overwhelmed, for Chanyeol hurried to course-correct.

"If you want to, that is. Studying and working at the same time is hard, I can see that much on my co-worker's faces. Especially if you're going for a scholarship. But it's not impossible."

"It sounds a little like it..." Jongdae began, but his mind was already trying to picture it. Studying all day only to work at night. If he was being honest with himself, it really did seem impossible, but-

"You just need to be committed, right?" Chanyeol asked playfully, nudging his side. "If I recommend another employee that turns out to be lazy, my boss is gonna grill me, so you better not embarrass me. But you don't seem like the useless type."

"How can you have so much faith in me?" Jongdae sighed in disbelief. "Judging by all you've seen, I've been nothing but useless so far."

"Eh, don't say that," Chanyeol dismissed him, taking a sip of his drink. "Being undecided and unsure isn't the same as being lazy. The real question is whether you can fight for your goals once you have them set."

"And what if I only create an even bigger mess?"

"Then you'll face another challenge by cleaning that mess up," Chanyeol shrugged. "That's what life is about, right? If you try your absolute best, push until you really can't go any further... then the outcome isn't even that important anymore, is it?"

It sounded dreamy and idealistic, and Jongdae wished he could simply soak up these words and believe them. But if he failed, his family would suffer the consequences. Then again... who could really say that their life affected nobody aside from themselves?

"You're thinking an awful lot for your age," Chanyeol joked, and Jongdae half-heartedly shoved him, almost knocking over his glass.

Chanyeol just laughed, and Jongdae felt like the other had the inborn ability to make every mundane moment feel like one worth remembering.

 

That evening, too, he was sitting by the window as he rode the bus home, ruminating about the day and the advice he'd received.

Yes, a part of him had hoped that Chanyeol would just swoop him up and whisk him away into a world as carefree as his. That was stupid of course, for two reasons - for one, he didn't know Chanyeol at all, and assuming that his life was in any way easier than his own was presumptuous.

And that aside, it would have been an easy way out. An escape, so to say. And you only needed an escape if there was absolutely no way out. Chanyeol was right, he hadn't tried everything in his power yet.

He might not be as smart as Jongin, but surely he, too, had his strengths. Perseverance was also a strength, and the least he could do was try.

 

He kept visiting the coffee shop after that. He kept buying the cheapest item on the menu as an excuse to be allowed in there, and spent hours browsing student financing methods on his laptop. It was tedious, to say the least, and more often than not, Jongdae got stuck because they required information like his parent's income and other information he could only vaguely guess about.

Whenever he got tired of that, he kept looking for jobs in the area, or observed Chanyeol very closely, trying to get a feeling for what made a good waiter.

The karaoke bar he was working at wasn't hiring at the moment, but the other still promised to help him, to give him some pointers. Jongdae felt very childish for never having had a job all of a sudden, and while he was itching to ask Chanyeol about all the jobs he'd had, the other was fairly busy most of the time.

He really was diligent, doing his best even when he was tired, and Jongdae wanted to live up to him. It probably sounded odd but he wanted to be worthy of befriending someone like him. But first, he had to sort everything out.

It was strangely exciting, to do these things for himself, pretty much all on his own; although he was a little nervous about presenting his results to his parents, to talk to them about it. Maybe he'd talk to Jongin first. There was a chance his brother would react badly and make fun of him but there was also a chance that he'd realize Jongdae was still there, still close and ready to confide in him. Deep down, he knew that there had to be a reason to Jongin's moodiness, and that reason couldn't simply be him. Not entirely, at least. There had to be something else.

"Mom, I'm home," he called into the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket.

"Jongdae? Come here for a bit."

His mood dropped immediately. His mother never called him like that unless something was up. He'd been excited to talk to Jongin but now he was downright nervous as he walked into the kitchen, seeing both his mother and father sitting at the table, some documents before them.

"Care to explain what all of this is?" his mother asked, clearly unimpressed. Confused, Jongdae stepped closer to get a closer look at the papers. It were some of the print outs he'd made on bursaries. That was a pity, that they had found out before he told them.

Why did she sound so mad though?

"Uhm. I researched a little on how to finance my studies," he stammered, shoulders already drawing up defensively.

"And you didn't even tell us?" his father asked. Jongdae didn't understand, didn't understand why they would be angry about that-

"I was just researching. I thought of getting a job, too, maybe-"

"Is that why you've been coming home late recently? And without Jongin?" his mother cut him off, and Jongdae shrugged helplessly.

"You can't just get a job without telling us," she added strictly, but Jongdae wasn't having it any longer, bursting with nervous confusion and hurt.

"I didn't even get one yet," he snapped, taking a step back. His father shot him a stern look.

"You're not leaving, young man."

"What do you guys want from me?" he asked, fingers clawing into the back of a chair. "I was just gathering information - this is about my future, after all, so I thought it would be right to care, I- I thought I was doing you guys a favour so you wouldn't have to pay that much, what did I do wrong now ?"

"You didn't talk to us, Jongdae," his mother insisted, sounding gentler, but all the more insistent. "We thought you're not interested in studying in the first place - you always avoid the topic, you suddenly start coming home late, and Jongin told us you've been hanging out with good-for-nothing's-"

"Chanyeol isn't a good-for-nothing," Jongdae cut her off, because this was important. "Just because he doesn't study doesn't make him a bad person. He's helped me a lot, actually, and when I thought of giving up the idea of studying, he convinced me not to.”

"So you did think of giving up on studying," his father stated mildly accusingly, and Jongdae felt his throat clog up, but it burst out, anyway.

"Only to make things easier for you!"

They both looked at him, stunned into silence while everything Jongdae had been keeping bottled up came tumbling out all at once.

"I don't want everyone to suffer just so I can go to university! You already did so much for me, I just want you to spend money on things you want or need, and I don't want you to fight over what's necessary and what's not, so I thought of trying to finance it on my own somehow, I just- I don't know. I don't want to make everyone miserable !"

For a moment, they both just stared at him and Jongdae half expected them to get angrier for yelling at them.

"What are you talking about?" his mother finally breathed out, voice going high-pitched.

Jongdae didn't want to cry, he really didn't, but he felt anxious, lost, and a little overwhelmed. It must look really immature next to his parents, who looked all put together.

"Of course we'll pay for your tuition - you're our son," she added, and it sounded really obvious when she put it that way, but the memories of them fighting were still fresh on his mind.

"We're not exactly swimming in money, I know, but we will make it work, Jongdae," his mother insisted, and for some reason, her calling his name made him tear up a little more, made him feel a little smaller, a little more like a child.

"We’re sorry for arguing so much recently-"

"We weren't even arguing," his father cut her off, shooting her a quick look, "just bickering. If you're together for so long, that's only natural. You fighting with your brother over what dinner to cook doesn't have a lasting impact either. Or does it?"

Jongdae shook his head, not trusting his voice. He felt really stupid and ashamed now.

"Still, if you get a scholarship, that would be wonderful, of course, and we'd cheer you on," his mother added, placing a hand on Jongdae's, which was still clawing into the back of the chair. "Not because of the money, but because it would open a lot of doors later on. And if you want to work part-time, then you're free to do that, of course. Just know that your studies come first, okay?"

Jongdae nodded, and his mother rubbed the back of his hand.

"Hey, this is not a reason to cry now, is it?

As if prompted, Jongdae could feel more tears well up, and he sniffed.

"Sure,” she continued, “it's a little rough at the moment, but we want to enable you to study. We're sorry it's not easier for us to do so, but we will do everything we can because we want to. It's just money, after all. You'd do the same for us, wouldn't you?"

Just money. She said it like that, and Jongdae knew how much just money was asking of them, of all of them, and yet she brushed it off like that.

But in its essence, she was right. If his parents or Jongin were to suddenly fall sick, if they needed money for an operation, or even just someone to pay the rent, Jongdae wouldn't hesitate dropping everything to help them, because... yes, it was just money. Investing it in the people close to him to keep them alive and happy was a given.

"Of course I would," Jongdae croaked out, swallowing heavily. "I'll still do my best to get the scholarship. And a job. I can do it."

His mother drew him into a firm hug, pressing him close with a hum.

"Do your best, that's all we're asking. And don't go brooding by yourself for too long - we can't read your mind, you know?"

Jongdae should really stop crying, but his brain hadn't gotten the memo yet. He pushed through anyway, ignoring the tears staining his cheeks as he drew away and walked around the table to hug his father, too, who patted him on the back, encouraging and strong.

"Don't take on a weird job though," he heard him say, and there was a lighter quality to it. "God knows what kinda stuff they make students do nowadays. Don't let anyone trick you."

"I won't," Jongdae promised, drawing away at last. He rubbed his cheeks with the back of his hand, stacking the paper.

"We'll talk about them tomorrow, okay?" his mother asked as if on cue, and Jongdae nodded.

"Okay. Thank you," he muttered, finally leaving the room.

He felt mentally exhausted, but strangely light.

When he rounded a corner, he bumped into Jongin, who had evidently been listening in on them.

At the sight of Jongdae, he grew wide-eyed, and instead of walking past him, Jongdae paused, and entered Jongin's room instead. His brother followed him, looking guilty and ready to channel that energy into getting snappy, but they both waited until the door was closed, which was an age old, mutual agreement between them.

"Why did you tell them I hang out with good-for-nothing's?" Jongdae asked, putting the last term in air quotes. He wasn't even angry but it wasn't like him, to tell on Jongdae to his parents - he'd thought Jongin had grown out of this by now.

Jongin shrugged.

"I don't know," he said evasively, and Jongdae wanted to tear his hair out over the eternal, noncommittal and unhelpful replies his brother had had for him the past months, but instead, he placed the papers on a random shelf and pulled him into a hug.

As expected, Jongin struggled.

"Let go-"

"If you shut up for ten seconds, I will," Jongdae cut him off. Jongin groaned quietly, but he seized struggling.

"I'm sorry," Jongdae said, staring into the slightly messy room as he felt Jongin tense up.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked accusingly, and Jongdae sighed.

"For being such a nuisance recently. For being so pushy, too. I'll get a grip again, promise."

"You're not a nuisance," Jongin said very quietly, barely above a whisper.

"I just- I was being an . Sorry."

He didn't mention a specific moment, but that was alright. Jongdae hummed, when something caught his eye.

"So you're using skin care now, huh?" he asked, and it was meant to be a joke, to lighten the atmosphere and steer it away from such embarrassing topics, but Jongin went rigid beneath him.

"No?" Jongin asked rather than stated, trying to bodily turn Jongdae around, whose curiosity was now piqued.

"Oh?" he asked, trying to wrestle past Jongin, who looked panicky. "Is it lotion for something else then? Are you experimenting, after all?"

"No-" Jongin began, but Jongdae had snatched the lotion tub already, his expression dropping from smug to confused.

"Huh?"

Jongin had given up, standing beside him with his gaze trained on the ground.

Jongdae read the label in confusion, and then turned the tub in search for a hint what it was for. It seemed pretty medical and expensive, actually.

He looked around, quickly finding the packaging which was loosely lying on the desk, and now he knew what he was looking at.

"...skin lightener?" he asked, still mostly confused.

Jongin bit his lips, and simply stood there while understanding dawned on Jongdae. Skin lightener. He was trying to bleach his skin.

Suddenly, all the times Jongin had denied sweets passed his mind, as well as the way he obsessively soaked fat off his food with paper towels before eating it, claiming he didn't like the grease. How he didn't seem to spend money on anything anymore. A part of him had silently wondered whether he was unhappy with his weight or appearance, but this...?

"Jongin, that's- dangerous," he breathed out, still completely baffled. "Don't go smearing some chemicals on your face, you don't know what's gonna happen..."

He trailed off, but Jongin didn't say a word. Obviously, he didn't have anything to say in his defense.

"What happened, did anyone talk about you?" Jongdae asked. He'd never in his life punched a person, but he was very ready to change that.

Jongin, however, just shook his head.

"Then what prompted this?" Jongdae asked carefully, not wanting to raise his voice in case their parents might overhear them. He didn't need to assure Jongin that he wouldn't tell on him, because the other knew, had always known.

"I just wanted to try," he said quietly. "I just. I couldn't stand myself anymore."

Jongdae looked at him, couldn't help shaking his head in disbelief, really.

"Jongin, you look fine," he said, and when Jongin only shrugged, his eyes suspiciously wet, Jongdae felt like crying with him. "More than fine - you're tall, slim, handsome, charming, what more do you want?"

"I wanna fit in," Jongin muttered, his voice cracking around the edges already. "I feel like everyone's looking at me, like my skin- I don't know. No one says it, but they think it's ugly, so-"

"You're not making sense at all," Jongdae cut him off, and to counter what came out harshly, he hugged Jongin once more, refusing to let go. "Jongin, you're handsome. Like, really handsome. If people are staring it's probably because they're charmed by you."

"Yeah, sure," Jongin snorted, but Jongdae could hear that he was on the verge of crying.

"No, I'm serious," Jongdae insisted. "And even if you're right, even if they are staring or talking smack because they're being s... don't just cower and try to change yourself like a loser. Give them something to look at. Look right back at them, though they're probably not even worth that much of your time-"

"Easy for you to say," Jongin muttered, prying Jongdae off him. "You're confident and everything. I can't be like that. I’m just... there."

"You're confusing confidence with spite," Jongdae corrected him, patting his shoulder. "And everyone has spite in them, you just gotta know how to channel it. How about we go shopping again, get you some nice clothes that you feel good about? And don't gimme that look, we'll find something cheap."

Jongin sighed, looking resigned.

"I still have the receipt for that cream," he admitted. "Haven't opened it yet. You don't have to buy anything for me."

"Sure. I'll save it for the bubble tea, then," Jongdae announced, and he could see the conflict on Jongin's face, could see the insecurity gnawing away at him, but then he relented once more.

"Sure."

Jongdae smiled, and it must look ridiculous, with his own tears barely dried on his face. He was getting an upcoming headache from all the emotions barreling over him in such a short amount of time, but when he went to bed that night, he felt good for the first time in a while.

He thought about his family, and how sure his father had sounded when announcing that he and his mother were just bickering. Knowing that they weren't about to divorce over this was a huge relief. There were tough times ahead, but their family wasn't ripping at the seams and he swore to be extra attentive and grateful towards them to let them know how much he appreciated them. Jongin didn't hate him either, had even thought quite highly of him, despite hiding it behind a snarky attitude.

Jongdae was still worried about him, but now that he'd opened up, he felt like he knew what to look out for, how to help him get through this.

 

He also thought about Chanyeol though.

He couldn't wait to see him, to tell him that he'd succeeded, even if he cried a lot and looked like a bit of an idiot in the process. Surely, Chanyeol would shrug it off and tell him it didn't matter.

The longer he thought about it, the more he realized how surreal Chanyeol's mere presence in his life was. Just like that, he had stepped into his life, slipped into the seat across him, and listened to his problems, giving him good advice all the time without asking for anything in return. It felt like a story from a comic book, like part of a fairytale.

That night, he dreamt of sitting at the coffee shop, all alone, looking at an empty cup that for some inexplicable reason filled him with sadness.

He was still strangely unsettled when he awoke the next morning and felt jittery throughout the entire school day. He went straight to the coffee shop after his last lesson ended, nervously playing with the strap of his messenger bag as he stared at the store from outside.

It was extremely stupid, but somehow, he expected Chanyeol to simply be gone now, like a dream coming to an end. Like a chance he'd missed.

This was utter nonsense though, and he knew that, so he pushed open the door and walked up to the counter, gathering his courage.

"Excuse me?" he asked the young, unfamiliar woman behind the counter. "Is Chanyeol here?"

"Chanyeol?" she asked, sounding confused.

Jongdae's heart dropped.

She looked around helplessly, until another waiter shuffled closer.

"Who's Chanyeol?" she asked, and the other waiter looked confused, too. Jongdae felt cold all of a sudden.

"Oh," the waiter then said, only now registering what he'd been asked. "Yeah, sure. Chanyeol's the tall one," he said to the waitress and then, to Jongdae, "over there."

Jongdae walked further into the store and there he was, wiping a table and humming to himself, looking cheerful as ever.

Jongdae wanted to run up and hug him but the other was at work. Instead, he only crossed the room in brisk steps, coming to a halt right at the table Chanyeol had been cleaning. When Chanyeol looked up, he seemed positively surprised to see him.

"Hi there," he said, his expression mildly amused and questioning. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," Jongdae said, surprisingly firm and driven by determination. "I wanna get to know you better."

If anyone was around to stare at them, Jongdae didn't notice. All he saw was the way Chanyeol's eyes crinkled when he smiled.

"What, right now?" he asked playfully, but then his expression dimmed down a little.

"But sure. Why not?"

It sounded a bit more serious, strangely heart-felt and warm, and Jongdae thought he was absolutely mesmerizing.

 

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Jkloey
#1
Chapter 1: Really beautiful can we get a sequel
Moonshiner #2
Chapter 1: Another nice work! However I think the issue discussed here are a bit overrated, too idealistic? Like money, self image and eventually resolved by love from family and brothers. The stories that you wrote before are more leaning to controversial, cross-boundaries turmoils we face everyday with great authencity and calmness. I believe the plot can stay the same with more twists like daily life, as you are totally dealing with realistic settings. I don’t know about you but most of the time, parents don’t really explain their argument because most of the time there isn’t one, most of the time it fades, so the way you present makes it idealistic, utopia almost. Same with image struggle, I believe it is resolved by oneself, with hint or subtle guidance from others. Anyway, it is a beautiful work!
XOXO
exoticneo #3
(This is beanie~) akjdsk SuGar I cant believe you post this like right now how do you even have the time like wOw (Also thank you Hunnie for betaing this uwu love you both) Hurt/Comfort ChanChen is just what I needed atm and damn I felt jongdae’s Insecurities like man that hit hard
All in all, a wonderful little fic as per usual from the lovely you and becks~ enjoyed it very much <3 now go go work on your other fests~ Be Happy! You’re doing amazing <3