The weather was freezing, but there wasn't anything unfamiliar with the way Jeno had his arms around Jaemin to keep him warm. It was mid-winter and they didn't have a heater and they should really get one. For some reason, Jeno could never have the heart to actually think about buying a heater because at times like this, when they had each other, they didn't need one. Jaemin suddenly turned around, grunting a bit, causing Jeno to shift to the side, just slightly. It was just too hot and his neck was covered in warm sweat. 

 

"What the heck, why is it so- hot?" he muttered, opening his eyes, his hands immediately reaching to touch his neck and face. He blinked up at Jeno, who was still sleeping. Jeno wasn't sweating a bit, but he on the other hand was just drenched in sweat. 

 

"," Jaemin cursed, untangling his legs from Jeno. He got up from the bed and looked at the time. "It’s only 2 in the morning..”

 

They had probably crashed really early after watching a movie and now Jaemin can't seem to want to go back to sleep because he's just so ing hot. Sweating like a pig from inside and out. He felt like he was on the verge of getting a cold or something because he had never felt this way in a while and besides, he never gets sick. He doesn’t even remember the last time he was sick and that was saying something. Jaemin got up and slipped outside to get something cold to drink. He chugged down a glass of water and rummaged in the cabinets to check if they had any medications or at least something, but he was out of luck. 

 

When he came back to his room, Jeno was already awake, sitting on his bed, hair a bit twirled up and eyes in worry. "Are you okay?" He asked, motioning for him to sit down. 

 

Jaemin just nodded, sitting down on the bed next to him. "A bit. It's just really hot and I don't want to go back to sleep."

 

Jeno sat closer and leaned forward to touch his forehead. It was burning hot. "I think you might be getting a cold, Jaemin. It's best you don't go to class in the morning."

 

Jaemin groaned. "But I have a presentation tomorrow." He was an English major and it wasn’t his idea to freakin major in it but it seemed like the only option since he wasn’t interested in anything else. 

 

"You'll be fine. Skipping one day won't hurt you," Jeno said softly, making Jaemin lie down on the bed. "I'll stay so I can help you get better. But right now, just sleep."

 

Jaemin closed his eyes. "Okay."

 

He eventually did go back to sleep, but he couldn't get any more than 3 hours of sleep. It was bothering him and he didn't want to wake Jeno up again. Jeno had his arms around his waist and Jaemin really had a hard time not trying to move although Jeno was a bit of a heavy sleeper. 

 

When it was 6, Jeno got up and made Jaemin some soup before he had to go out and buy some medicine for him. They didn't have anything in their apartment since that time Donghyuck had the flu and literally just took everything they had. 

 

"I'll be right back. If you need anything, just know that Mark is right next door."

 

"Okay."

 

 

 

Jeno and Jaemin have been friends for as long as they can remember. It wasn't like the friendship where you have to try so hard to make things work, they just naturally got together well. Ever since college started for them, they've been roommates for a year now and honestly, Jeno wouldn't have it any other way. They were really different in a million ways; Jaemin was more of a studious student while Jeno partied a bit too much and had girls approaching him left and right, but it never bothered them. They just learned to cope with each other's ways. When Jeno got a tattoo on his left arm the first year, Jaemin didn't like it. But now, Jaemin doesn't seem to care much about his best friend’s choices and what does with his life. But then Jaemin wasn't any better in terms of being the most innocent when it came to his own life. 

 

Jaemin had very few relationships during high school, but none of them lasted very long. Jeno had always thought that his exes were crazy and way too obsessed with him, always wanting to just make out with him in the locker room or get into his pants. It was the worst, which was why Jaemin never really liked to date. They were always supportive of each other's relationships and even helped each other throughout them. When high school ended, Jaemin hadn't been dating and shifted to focus on his studies. 

 

 

 

 

When Jeno returned back to the apartment, Jaemin was on the couch watching K-dramas while sipping on the soup. 

 

"How are you feeling?" Jeno asked, flopping down next to him. Jaemin automatically made room for both of them under the huge blanket. It was the same blanket that Jeno's mom had bought for him when they were kids, something that Jaemin always kept close to him because it reminded him of how much Jeno’s mom took care of him when he was younger.

 

"I don't know really. I just kinda have a headache, but I'll be fine."

 

Jeno just nodded and reached to take his hands. Jaemin was confused for a second, but he didn't say anything. Jaemin's hands were really hot, but it’s always been that way. "Come on. You should drink some medicine."

 

Jeno grabbed a water bottle from the fridge they had and made Jaemin drink some before taking the medicine. Jaemin gulped down some medicine and drank some honey water that Jeno made. After that, he went back to bed because drinking medicine always makes him drowsy. 

 

"Get some rest Jaemin."

 

"Yeah I know."

 

Jeno just nodded. Once Jaemin slipped off to sleep, he quickly went over to Mark. 

 

Mark was one of Jeno's best friends since high school days and probably his only other best friends besides Jaemin. Mark was majoring in Performing Arts while his was music. Mark used to have a thing for Jaemin since high school and had asked him out just when college started, but Jaemin totally dumped his and told him that they would never work out because he wanted to focus on school. Mark totally understood and they remained friends. Jaemin was loved by everyone, there were always many guys and girls who like him and would be on their knees for him, but Jaemin wouldn’t even bat an eye at them. Jeno sometimes wonder why Jaemin just didn't give Mark a chance since they have known each other for quite awhile and he used to think that they would work out perfectly. 

 

 

 

"Jaemin's sick?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"How?"

 

"No idea. I'm guessing the weather."

 

Mark nodded. Mark didn't have classes in the morning and his roommate, Donghyuck, is literally never in the apartment since he had morning classes like everyday of the week and was on the leadership club. The reason why they were roommates was because Mark needed someone who could help him with his classes and Donghyuck was Jaemin’s friend and somehow Donghyuck agreed to be his roommate since he also didn’t want to dorm with someone he didn’t know at the university and Mark was also Jeno’s friend so it made sense. They have quite an odd relationship since they were never close but Jeno could never really figure it out. Donghyuck always had his hair dyed red and was a bit of a flirt and a loud mouth, but at the same time a total science geek who spends too much time huddled in a warm blanket studying for exams while Mark just liked to party and never cared about anything else in the world, except maybe his mom and passing his classes. 

 

“Jaemin barely gets sick though. I don’t even remember the last time that he was even sick. Like I used to think he never got sick, like his body was that amazing you know.”

 

Jeno chuckled, pinching his nose, a habit he picked up from Jaemin of course. “Oh yeah. He doesn’t get sick often. It came as a surprise kinda.”

 

Mark just nodded at him, smiling a bit while continuing to type up something on his grey  macbook. "Hey Jeno, one of my friends is transferring here from China. I really want you to meet him."

 

Jeno's ears perked up. "Oh yeah sure who?"

 

"Renjun. Remember the guy I told you about? He was Chenle's crush, like back in high school."

 

Chenle, Jaemin's other best friend, was currently dating Sicheng, an older 3rd year, for the past year now. They were super cute and Sicheng was a really good guy, although he had made some poor choices in the past that he rather not talk about, but dating Chenle really helped him mentally and physically. He remembered Chenle talking about Renjun before, but he didn't really care or paid attention much. 

 

"Really? When is Renjun coming here?"

 

"In a couple of days. I want all of my friends to meet him, including Jaemin. Man I hope he'll get better."

 

"He’ll be better before you know it.”

 

They heard Donghyuck walk in and he smiled when he saw Jeno sitting on the couch. “Hey Jeno.” He quickly dumped his backpack on the couch across from them and sat down but then stood up a long moment later, fingers to his temple like he was having a headache. “You know imma go take a long nap because I am dead to the world. Everything is driving me nuts these days.”

 

Jeno glanced at Mark after Donghyuck disappeared into his room, but all Mark did was shrug. 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin's fever got worse the next day. He was coughing and sniffling all day. While they were sleeping, Jaemin couldn't stop from moving around. 

 

"Jaemin," Jeno said, getting tired of the younger boy shifting around, "can you stop moving?"

 

Jaemin sighed, breath lingering in the crook of Jeno’s neck. "I think it's better if we separate. I feel kinda stuffy." Jaemin's voice was raspy.

 

Jeno looked over the clock. It was almost 4 in the morning and he did have classes at 7am smack in the morning and he needed to pass the exam this week before he fails the course. He slowly got up, looking down at Jaemin. "You sure Jaemin?"

 

Jaemin rolled over to the side and Jeno could see a bit of his flat stomach when his shirt rose up. "Just for a little while." 

 

"Okay." 

 

Jeno slowly took off his shirt and slipped back to bed. He can hear Jaemin mumbling something into his pillow. “Huh?”

 

"Why are you taking off your shirt?"

 

"It's hot." It was a simple answer. 

 

Jeno slept on the other side of the bed, making sure not to touch Jaemin until he feels cold. It was a routine for them to sleep together in a weather like this. They were kinda used to each other's warmth by now and it felt odd whenever Jaemin isn’t in his arms. When morning came around, Jeno saw that Jaemin, again, was drenched in sweat. Biting his lips, he leaned over to touch Jaemin’s forehead again, wiping away the excess sweat. Jaemin groaned a bit and tilted his head to the side. 

 

He suddenly heard a knock on the door and quickly went to open it. It was Donghyuck, with his barely brushed hair, in sweats and a big coat that he was sure was probably Mark’s. Jeno blinked at that information. 

 

"Hey."

 

"I heard that my baby is sick. Like why the didn’t you tell me like you could have told me before you left yesterday like do you know how worried I was like- " Another thing about Donghyuck is that he likes to talk a lot and a lot. And there are times when it really bothers him. 

 

“Okay sorry, come on in.” He immediately cut him off and let him in, watching Donghyuck make his way to see Jaemin. Jaemin's friends always call him baby, it's been a nickname that stuck ever since like maybe middle up to high school till now. Jeno is probably the only person who doesn’t call him by that nickname and his friends think it’s weird for him not to call him that. Like even to him, calling Jaemin baby sounds funny to him which is why he chooses not to call him that.

 

"What have you been doing to him? Are you taking care of him properly?"

 

Jeno sighed. "Yeah I do try you know. It's not so easy,” he said looking down at the younger boy. “Hey is it okay if you or Mark take care of him today? I have class and if I miss it today, I don't get the materials I need to study for the exam on Friday."

 

Donghyuck took a minute to answer because he was busy trying wake Jaemin up. Jaemin turned the other way and didn't seem to want to wake up.

 

"I can't miss class and you know how I'm failing Chem right now like that class will be the death of me." Donghyuck was a Biology major and had to take a few Chemistry courses which he likes to complain about but everyone knows that Donghyuck is smart and can ace those classes in a blink of an eye so saying that he was failing wasn’t true.

 

"Okay. I guess I’ll just ask Mark before I leave to class."

 

 

 

It turned out that Mark was busy too and Jeno's only option was to ask Doyoung to take care of Jaemin because there was no way that he was leaving Jaemin alone in the apartment to tend for himself. Doyoung was one of his older senior friends he had met back in high school. Doyoung dormed on campus and it was a hassle to just even think about walking there and asking. Jeno hated having to walk over there because he and Jaehyun are always ing around in the morning. Not something he wants to see. They were gross. Not the cute kind of gross, but just plain gross. So he decided to just call him. 

 

"Hey Doyoung," Jeno greeted the bunny boy once he picked up. 

 

“Hey Jeno. Do you need something?” 

 

"Yeah. I have a favor to ask."

 

 “Sure. Shoot me.”

 

"Can you take care of Jaemin for today? He has a fever and I have a class like in 20 minutes and I really don't want to miss it."

 

"Wait what, our baby is sick?"

 

"Who's sick?" Jeno can hear Jaehyun’s voice in the background and tried not to imagine anything gross about them. 

 

"Jaemin."

 

"That boy never gets sick."

 

"I know right?"

 

Jeno glanced back into his room, where Jaemin was sleeping. "So what do you say Doyoung?"

 

"I would do anything for Jaemin," he quickly said. "I'll be over there in a few."

 

"Thank you Doyoung. I’ll see you then.”

 

 

 

 

Jaemin seemed to have gotten up when Jeno finished his 5 minute shower. Jaemin smiled at him when he wrapped his arms around his waist and placed his head on his shoulder. 

 

"Hey, you're up already."

 

"Yeah."

 

Jeno watched Jaemin make some hot chocolate. "You know you shouldn't be drinking that when you're sick."

 

"This is for you," Jaemin flatly said. "You don't drink coffee so I decided chocolate is the best alternative. I know that you have class today and you shouldn't miss it."

 

"Oh okay thanks," Jeno smiled at him. "That's thoughtful of you." Everyone knows that Jaemin is as stubborn as a rock and is never thoughtful, unless it was Jeno or someone he likes. It was nice of Jaemin to take the time to make him something. It was hard to even ask Jaemin make them breakfast on some days. 

 

"Doyoung is coming over to take care of you."

 

Jaemin didn't say anything for a moment. "You know, I hate having to ruin your day. I know you have better things to do than taking care of me."

 

"Hey, you know you're my first priority."

 

"I don't have to be." Jaemin's voice was raspy again and he coughed a bit, covering his mouth. 

 

"Remember, we promised each other that we would be there when we need each other."

 

"I know, Jeno. You keep reminding me." Jaemin looked at him for a moment before pouring some of the chocolate drink into a container and handing it to him. "Here."

 

"Thanks, I'll be back soon. Just make sure you drink your medicine and don't go outside."

 

Jaemin just rolled his eyes, but he seemed to understand. When Doyoung came over, Jeno kissed his forehead goodbye before leaving for class.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How is Jaemin?" Chenle asked when Jeno sat down next to him in class. They were both music majors but that’s pretty much all they have in common since Chenle usually doesn't hang out with people like him who party a lot and dates around. Plus Chenle was always with Sicheng 24/7 hours of the day so they don’t even see each other that often unless he was with Jaemin.

 

"He's feeling better."

 

"That's good. We planned to ing go snowboarding on the weekend. I can't believe he got sick out of nowhere just like that."

 

Jeno just hummed. Jaemin had told him he and some of his older friends were going snowboarding and he had asked him to go, but he wasn’t interested in going snowboarding at all. He’d rather just stay home than spend the weekend in the freezing snow. 

 

“Jaemin will get better. He just needs the rest. You can come visit him if you want.”

 

“He’s my best friend. Why would I not want to see him?” 

 

“You’re always with Sicheng.”

 

Chenle just laughed out loud, his eyes crinkling a bit. “So what? I’m still there for Jaemin when he needs me. What would he do without me in his life? That boy is lucky. He probably would have died without me.”

 

Jeno just smiled at him just before class started. 

 

 

 

 

He had practice for swim in a few hours and was about to go to the library to do some real quick studying, but he was stopped by one of his music professor. He told him to go into his classroom so they could talk.

 

"Jeno, I have an offer to make.”

 

"What is it?"

 

"It's the music festival for KACT. The Korean American Culture Times Festival. The biggest festival where people get to show off their musical talents. Since you're one of our most talented students at this university, I am going to request that you attend to represent our school."

 

Jeno on his lips. He’s never actually performed at a festival before. "When is it?"

 

"It's after Christmas break so you have plenty of time to prepare. I will update you on everything when the time comes." His professor gave him the flyer and Jeno reached for it, reading the little prints.

 

"Who else is doing it?"

 

"I have asked 10 students already and they have said that they will do it."

 

Jeno just nodded. "Okay. I will have to think about it. I’ll tell you when I decide to do it.”

 

“Alright. Just let me know soon so I can write your name down.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno came back from swim practice a few hours later. Jaemin was in his room sleeping again and Doyoung was on his laptop, furiously typing something. 

 

"Hey you're back." Doyoung looked at his watch. "How was your day?"

 

Jeno just shrugged. "It was fine. Is Jaemin alright?"

 

Doyoung nodded. "Babysitting him was easy. He barely went out his room but he was always damn hungry for whatever reason."

 

Jeno smiled at him and sat down next to him on the couch. "Thanks for babysitting him. I just couldn’t let him be alone you know? He’s sick and I’d rather have someone look for him.”

 

“I know. I’ll always make sure that he’s okay.”

 

“Did you and him talk or anything?”

 

Doyoung nodded, glancing up a bit. “Yeah kinda but he wasn’t in the mood for anything. He gets moody sometimes you know him.”

 

Jeno nodded at him. “How are you and Jaehyun?" Jeno can see that Doyoung was typing up a long lab report. Doyoung was also a Bio major along with Donghyuck and he is one of the smartest person he knows. The guy can memorize as many things as he can see and Jeno finds that really amazing and wonders how the hell he can do that. Jaemin used to be so jealous of him for it. 

 

"Good. Never been better," Doyoung looked up for second. "How about you and Jaemin?"

 

Their friends always think that he and Jaemin have something going on, but he really can't see it. They both show affection for each other in many ways, but they don't garner romantic feelings towards each other. They're best friends, but there wasn't much between them. It has always been that way. He doesn’t understand why their friends can’t see that. 

 

"Good," Jeno courtly answered, ignoring Doyoung's smile. "Anyways, thank you again."

 

"No problem. By the way, I ordered some jajangmyeon for you so you can dig in."

 

That was one of his favorite dish and he was glad Doyoung took the time to order him something because he was starving.

 

“Really? Oh that’s so kind of you. Thanks.”

 

“Sure. Bye Jeno. Tell Jaemin I said bye too.”

 

When Doyoung left, Jeno made his way into his room. Jaemin was sleeping on his side, facing the wall. He quickly closed the door and took a quick shower. As he was drying his hair, Mark came over carrying his macbook.

 

"Donghyuck is practicing for his little presentation tomorrow,” Mark said as he sat down on the couch.

 

"For what?"

 

Mark just shrugged, turning on his macbook with his feet hanging on the table. Jeno’s apartment is like his 2nd home. “I don't know. He invited the squad in there when he could have just invited them to the freakin library or some , but no, he invited them to our apartment like sometimes he doesn’t even remember that I live there too." Whenever Mark says squad, it could only mean Donghyuck’s leadership friends. 

 

“Come on. It can’t be that bad.”

 

Mark just rolled his eyes. "He’s a headache sometimes. He drives me nuts like you have no idea. I don’t know how I will survive living with him.” Jeno just chuckled a bit. “But hey by the way there’s a party at Kevin’s place Friday.”

 

Jeno raised his eyes. “Really? What for?" Kevin is one of Mark’s basketball teammates, who’s year above them.  

 

"To just party you know! The basketball squad is coming and he told me to invite everyone I know and Renjun’s coming too. I know some of your teammates are coming. Why don’t you invite Jaemin?”

 

"Jaemin can’t come, he’s still sick."

 

"Oh you said that he will be fine."

 

"I know, but it he got worse. Jaemin can't even go out of the dorm without feeling like he wants to barf."

 

Mark sighed, looking up from whatever he was typing. "Dude, you worry too much about him. I don't get it. Like I know I had a major crush on him, but I’m sorta over it since he doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend. And to think you guys don't have something going on is bull and you know it too.”

 

Jeno rolled his eyes, walking away to microwave his food. "There really is nothing going on with us. Like what do you even see?”

 

“Okay I can list like a hundred things. You guys hold hands, you cook for him, he wears your clothes, you kiss him on the forehead like ALL THE DAMN TIME, you worry about him like it’s not like he’s gonna go missing and die, I remember you spent your entire paycheck just to buy him a desktop because he was into playing games a lot, and-”

 

“Okay okay, you can shut up now. But that doesn’t mean anything. Friends do that too.”

 

“Right you don’t see Chenle whipping his wallet out for Jaemin.”

 

“Chenle never buys anyone anything besides Sicheng. We all know that.”

 

“Okay whatever,” Mark muttered, rolling his eyes as he continued whatever he was doing.

 

“And he’s still in love with that one guy since high school and I don't even know where he is right now."

 

"Oh yeah. Hansol. I heard that he's coming back." Pretty much everyone in their circle of friends know about how Jaemin is literally head over heels for Hansol, his first love and probably only love. Jaemin has been stuck on him ever since like a teenage girl who just can’t get over someone.  

 

Jeno looked over at Mark, slightly surprised. What? That was the first time he heard that. "Really? Don’t be kidding me."

 

"I’m not. I don't know what he does right now since he like dropped out of college like 2 years ago, but like I heard from Jaehyun who heard from Yuta that Hansol is moving back into the city.”

 

Hansol had disappeared a few years ago after he went away for a job opportunity or whatever the rumor says, but everyone was saying that Hansol had ran off because he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. Other people say he got arrested for beating someone up at a gay bar or got disowned by his parents or tried to sell drugs and become part of gang or murdered someone. No one really knew what was up with him. Jeno never really liked him much at all but Jaemin was totally smitten by the older guy. He doesn't get it sometimes. Like Jeno doesn’t get what Jaemin sees in Hansol. The guy was a total wreck and Doyoung doesn’t even like him because they once got into a huge fight which left Doyoung with a scar near his lips before Hansol disappeared out their life. Jaehyun really got mad at Hansol for hurting Doyoung and a lot of happened that Jeno can’t clearly remember.

 

Jeno had never really asked Jaemin about Hansol because it was a sensitive topic for him. He once made a mistake and asked Jaemin when he would get over Hansol and Jaemin had gotten so mad that he stopped talking to him for days and even made a list on why he could never stop liking him which Jeno thought was really stupid. When Jaemin found out that Hansol left, he secretly went to Chenle's dorm and cried for all night and it pained Jeno to hear about it from Chenle. It nearly broke his heart and he understood that Jaemin was really hurt about his leave. From then on, Jeno never brought up the word Hansol in front of him. Nor did any of their friends. 

 

Jeno stared at the counter for a long time. "Do you think Jaemin would know that he's coming back?"

 

Mark stopped what he was doing and glanced at the room Jaemin was in. 

 

After a moment, he said, "I don't know."

 

“Yeah I don’t think it’s best that Jaemin should know at all.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno is so thankful because Jaemin was better Friday morning. He could talk normally now, his throat didn’t feel clogged up, he didn’t have a runny nose, and he didn't sweat while he was sleeping. Jaemin woke up really early to make them some breakfast before they had to leave for class. 

 

"I've miss a total of 4 days, Jeno. What am I going to do with myself?"

 

Jeno just smiled at him, patting his hair. "I can help you."

 

Jaemin raised his brows. "Would you? You can’t even handle your own subjects." 

 

Jeno laughed. "You're right. I can't. Who was I kidding?”

 

Jaemin had made them waffles with some leftover strawberries that Jeno had stolen from Mark’s huge fridge. Jeno usually doesn't eat much and sticks to drinking some healthy smoothie while Jaemin just shoves a whole bunch of food into his mouth and chugs black coffee in one go. Jaemin doesn't understand how Jeno can drink a healthy smoothie and said that he would rather die than drink it. 

 

"I'll walk you to class," Jeno said once they were out. Jaemin's hands were freezing cold when Jeno reached for it. They always held hands and they both didn’t mind since it became a routine for them. Somehow, it seemed as if Jaemin’s hands were made to fit his. 

 

" this weather. I just want to die," Jaemin muttered when they got on campus.

 

"Come on. It's not bad. You'll manage."

 

Jaemin looked at him, scrunching his face.

 

When they arrived at Jaemin's class, Jaemin thanked him. "Have fun on your exam."

 

"Fun. My ."

 

Jeno just laughed, kissing his forehead and fixing his scarf before he left. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do you want to go to the party today?" Jeno asked when they were back home, all done with their classes and Jeno was getting ready for the party. Jeno had told Jaemin about Kevin’s party earlier and Jaemin didn't seem interested. Not even a bit. For some reason, anything to do with Kevin made Jaemin kinda want to run the other way. He remembered how Jaemin had told him that one time Kevin had tried to make out with him during a party last year. Jeno had just laughed his off. 

 

"Can't. I have to catch up with what I missed."

 

"Okay."

 

"But you can go. You'll have a better time without me."

 

Jeno just nodded at him. "Alright, I'll see you in a few." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the party, Mark had introduced him to Renjun. And he literally just fell in love on the spot. He thought Renjun was really cute and easy to talk to. They were able to click instantly and Jeno felt like he found someone he could really relate to. Renjun also didn't drink just like him and they both had similar interests. There was something about Renjun that Jeno couldn't put a finger on. Every time Renjun touched his arm, he can't help but think that he wanted something more. It's been awhile since someone's caught his attention like this. 

 

There were some girls who had tried to flirt with him, but he just didn't care about them. He had his eyes on Renjun the whole time. Renjun had extremely adorable crooked teeth, bright eyes, ashy brown hair, and a very slim, small figure, but that wasn't what drew him in. It was something else that not even he knew.

 

"How do you like the party so far?" He asked Renjun when they were alone just drinking some coke. 

 

Renjun looked around, watching all the people dancing and having a good time. "The people here are nice."

 

"They are," Jeno agreed. 

 

"What do you major in?"

 

"I'm a music major."

 

Renjun smiled at that. "That's cool. Do you play anything?"

 

"I play the guitar and a bit of the piano. What about you?'

 

Renjun was about to say something but there were noises in the living room. They both looked to see what was happening. 

 

"Hey guys! We're gonna do a dance battle!" Mark shouted. He switched the music into some hard core hip hop. "Come on everyone, show your moves!"

 

Everyone started gathering in the huge living room. Kevin’s family owned a huge mansion and it was pretty crowded too. The first person who went was Donghhyuck, who agreed to attend the party after knowing that Renjun was going to be there. Donghyuck was known for being a great dancer himself ever since he joined the dance team in high school with Jaemin. After him, people started joining in. 

 

"Can you dance?" Renjun suddenly asked him, nudging his elbow. 

 

"I can, but I prefer not to."

 

"I'll do it if you you it."

 

Jeno looked at Renjun and the guy was giving him that smile. Jeno thinks that smile was probably the most beautiful thing ever he had ever seen that night. It made his heart beat so fast just looking at it. It wasn’t everyday he got to see that. “Okay. Let's do this."

 

Renjun was the one who made the first move and kissed him first before he left the party against the wall of the hallway. Jeno was never the one to make a big deal out of anything so he didn’t mind. They made out for what lasted forever until Renjun's phone rang. He recognized as it being one of his favorite songs from EXO. And maybe he thought he had finally found his soulmate. 

 

"I had fun today. I’ll see you soon right? Since we go to the same college and yeah.”

 

Jeno smiled. "Of course."

 

With that, Renjun had left and Jeno can't help but feel like his breath was taken away. Now that was something new. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno got home at around midnight and Jaemin was out in the living room watching a movie while munching on a bag of chips. 

 

"What are you still doing up?"

 

"Can't sleep. How was the party?" Jaemin didn't even look up at him since he was too immersed in the movie. Jeno didn’t even know what he was watching. 

 

"Fun. You should've went."

 

Jaemin finally looked up at him, from behind his glasses. Jeno had no idea why he was wearing glasses while watching a movie when he knew Jaemin can see clearly up close. Jaemin had 20/20 vision but he does find him cute in glasses. "I heard from Donghyuck that Mark's friend transferred here."

 

"Oh yeah Renjun. He's really cool," Jeno simply said with a small smile that Jaemin didn’t seem to catch. 

 

Jaemin just nodded before going back to watch his movie and didn't ask anything more. Jaemin was always like this. He never liked to ask much if he wasn’t interested. Jeno went into their room to change and found Jaemin's books and papers scattered on the ground. Jaemin was an English major so of course he has piles of papers and just crap everywhere in the apartment. He walked around the mess to get into his closet. After a long moment, Jaemin walked into their room. 

 

"Oh yeah. Forgot to tell you about the disaster down here."

 

"It's fine. Are you going to clean it up?"

 

"Yeah I’m not done yet."

 

Jeno looked him. "Then why are you watching a movie right now?"

 

"Because this really stuff stresses me out."

 

"Well, you got yourself into this Major."

 

Jaemin just shrugged. "Anyways, I still need to pack for tomorrow. The guys and I are going to be gone for 2 days so like you have the place to yourself."

 

When Jeno was done changing, he laid down on the bed. "Okay then. I hope you have fun. You know winter break is in just a week." They both have planned to spend time together during the break with Jaemin having to go camping with his family the 2nd half of break. 

 

Jaemin was already walking out of the room. "I know."

 

 

30 minutes later, Jaemin was back in the room and started cleaning up the mess he had made before quickly dumping some clothes into his duffle bag and washing up and crawling into bed next to him. 

 

"Hey you sure you don't want to come?"

 

Jeno shook his head, looking up from his phone. "I would, but I really don't want to."

 

Jaemin laid down next to him and Jeno wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in closer against his body. 

 

"Can I ask you something?" 

 

Jaemin just nodded, placing his head on his chest, just below his chin. “Sure."

 

"Why didn't you date Mark?" It was a simple question but he knew deep down that Jaemin probably didn't date Mark because he’s still in love with Hansol and uses that excuse of him wanting to focus on his studies. Maybe that was why none of Jaemin’s relationships never worked out because he was always stuck on someone else. He really was not sure.

 

Jaemin groaned, obviously annoyed by the question. "I can't believe you just asked me that. I won't date someone who is stupidly in love with someone else. Mark doesn't like me the way he likes Donghyuck."

 

Jeno froze. Wait what? No way. Mark had a thing for Donghyuck? That’s impossible because for one thing, Mark had never exactly shown interest in Donghyuck. Like ever. All Mark does is complain about the red head. "Jaemin, what the are you saying?"

 

Jaemin looked up at him. "You don't see it? How can you not? Mark is so easy to read."

 

Jeno doesn't know how Jaemin knows all this. He honestly doesn't pay the slightest attention and he really should pay more attention. But Mark in love with Donghyuck? That was crazy even for him.

 

"Okay. Okay. I don't even want to know if it's true."

 

Jaemin just rolled his eyes. "God, you should ask him yourself."

 

Jeno really didn't want to think about Mark having a thing for his nerdy roommate. He honestly he was pretty sure Mark would never even confess even if he did have a crush on him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Jeno got woken up by Jaemin who was busy throwing things into his baggage that he was going to use in Toeyeng. Jaemin had his hair wet and had a toothbrush in his mouth. He seemed to have already showered and was wearing one of Jeno's bathrobe. Jeno looked to check on the time. It was only 6 the morning and Jaemin didn't have to leave until 10. He wondered why the his friend was up so early. 

 

"Why are you up so early? It's only 6."

 

Jaemin glanced at him as he threw some stuff into his bag. "I know. It's just that we're gonna go eat breakfast at 7 and head to go."

 

Jeno sighed. "Okay. I get you." He got up and watched Jaemin put stuff into his bag, admiring how cute he was, because a flustered Jaemin is always cute. 

 

"What? Do you need something?" Jaemin asked, not even looking at him. 

 

Jeno shook his head and walked up to him. "I don’t know, you’re just really cute." He whispered into Jaemin’s ear before he left the room. 

 

 

 

Chenle had came over a little before 7 and Jaemin was still trying to get his all together. Once Jaemin was done, with a little help of Chenle, they were out the door. 

 

Jeno went to change and decided to take a morning run. During his run, he encountered Renjun at the corner of the campus.

 

"Fancy seeing you here," Renjun smiled at him and Jeno’s heart did a lopsided flip.

 

"Hi Renjun." They ran together for a few miles until they stopped at a place that sold drinks and breakfast food.

 

"What are you up to today?" Renjun asked, sitting down next to him after they brought some food to eat. 

 

"Not much. My friend is off snowboarding for the weekend.”

 

"Seriously? That’s so cool. You should've joined him."

 

"It's not my thing."

 

Renjun laughed for bit, a smile forming on his lips when he looked straight at Jeno. "Well since we’re both not busy today, why don't we hang out?”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

 

 

They ended up spending the day together in his apartment playing games because Renjun was actually really good at them and they talked a lot about their life and Renjun’s home in China and how he knew Korean so well. He also asked him about Chenle and Renjun revealed that they met when they were young and really liked each other, but then Chenle found Sicheng and fell in love with him. He understood that it was better that way because he knew that they probably would never work out if one day they did start dating. 

 

“Chenle was always a sweet and nice person and I think that he and Sicheng match up very well together. Maybe they were always meant to be.”

 

“Yeah, they’re pretty happy together. I always see them kissing and hanging out together a lot.”

 

Renjun just nodded, playing with his sleeve for a moment. “I’m happy for them. Chenle found found someone that could make him happy and he really deserves that after what I put him through.”

 

“You guys still talk?”

 

“Yeah. I met him on campus and we have the same class together for Literature. But he always seems caught up with other things like it was hard to properly talk to him and hang out.”

 

Jeno just nodded. “Oh I see. Chenle is always busy I guess.”

 

“Yeah something like that. It’s okay though.”

 

Around 7, they had decided to go to a bar and had invited Mark. They both had dared each other to at least get drunk for the night and Jeno was down. Something about Renjun always sparks his interest. When they were sober but still slightly drunk, Jeno decided that he wanted to dance when he looked around and saw Mark making out and dancing with a girl. 

 

"Do you want to dance?" Jeno asked, turning to look at Renjun. 

 

Renjun nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

 

While they were dancing, people were bumping them into each other and Renjun didn't mind. 

 

"Hey are you dating anyone?" the older boy asked, slowly wrapping his arms around his neck.

 

Jeno shook his head. "No."

 

Renjun just nodded, his eyes lighting up a bit and Jeno thought that his eyes were really beautiful. "Well, that's good."

 

"Yup." 

 

Renjun smiled at him again and Jeno could feel something in the pit of his stomach. Oh . 

 

 

 

 

Renjun was over at his place again the following day and when he heard Renjun sing while listening to a song, he got an idea. 

 

"I didn't know you can sing."

 

"Oh. I guess it's always something I've wanted to do."

 

Jeno looked around, an idea forming in his head. “I have something to ask. You can say no if you want."

 

"What is it?"

 

"I have this performance that I kinda want to do. My professor asked me to perform. I'm wondering you if you would like to help me out with it."

 

Renjun's eyes grew big. "Me? I really don't know."

 

 "You would be perfect."

 

"What do I do?"

 

"You can sing the song while I play my guitar. We could pull it off and I really think your voice is beautiful."

 

Renjun‘s cheeks turned bright pink. "Thank you."

 

They started looking through songs to perform, but they haven't found anything yet. 

 

"Can you play a song for me? I want to see how good you are."

 

Jeno nodded at him and they both went into the room he shared with Jaemin. He had cleaned up the mess Jaemin had made the other morning. 

 

"I'm going to play a song. Honestly, I really like this song." Jeno strummed his guitar a few times before looking at Renjun. Renjun leaned in watched him closely.

 

 

Settle down with me

Cover me up, cuddle me in

Lie down with me

And hold me in your arms

 

And your heart’s against my chest 

Your lips pressed to my neck 

I’m falling for your eyes 

But they don’t know me yet 

And with a feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now 

 

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

We're falling in love

We're falling in love

 

 

"Wow," Renjun said, a small smile on his face. "You're good. Have you ever played for someone before?"

 

Jeno just nodded. "I have. It was my roommate."

 

"You have a roommate?” Renjun questioned, looking around.

 

Jeno just nodded. “Yeah he was the one who went snowboarding.”

 

“Speaking of your roommate, you should introduce us someday. I really want to get to know him."

 

"Sure when he's around."

 

Renjun sat closer to him on the bed. “So do you like anyone?”

 

“I think I do now.”

 

Renjun smiled at that, leaning closer to him. "We should date. I really think you're cute and you have quite a good personality. I think we click really really well and we could have fun together, maybe drive around at night and look at the stars and go on cheesy dates.”

 

Jeno gaped. "So you're asking me out?" 

 

"Yeah. What do you think?"

 

Jeno leaned in to kiss him on the lips, smiling. "Okay." 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin had returned back from his snowboarding trip and felt like the world was collapsing. His body was so sore and he just wanted to sleep for days. Jeno hadn't came back to the apartment because he was out doing who knows what so he turned to Donghyuck. 

 

Donghyuck was so far behind in one of his Chem courses that he barely paid attention to Jaemin who was talking. 

 

"My body is so sore but it was so fun. Chenle fell down so many times while Sicheng fell on his face. I met Yangyang again, the one we were friends with in middle school before he moved away. He actually is here visiting Korea before he goes back to China. He tried to make a move on me, but I wasn’t interested. He’s cute but I told him I was dating Jeno to get him off my back. Over all the whole trip was super fun. I have to go again.”

 

“I’m glad you had fun.”

 

”You need to come next time.”

 

Donghyuck sighed, shaking his head. "By the way Jeno is dating Renjun right now."

 

Jaemin paused, staring at his friend. "What?" He had never even met Renjun and he had no idea Jeno was dating someone. Jeno barely texted him the whole time he was away. Not that he was upset about that but the fact that Jeno was dating someone and didn’t tell him kinda shocked him. 

 

"Yeah. They became a thing when you were gone. Damn I thought you and Jeno were gonna get together after he gave you hickey that one day because he lost a bet."

 

Jaemin scrunched his face. That was something he doesn't want to look back since that night was so embarrassing. "Well we didn't happen."

 

"But it could happen."

 

"Jeno didn't even tell me anything," Jaemin crossed his arms. "This is the first time he's dating a guy.”

 

"Yep. Are you surprised by that?"

 

Everyone knew that Jeno was bi but he's never dated a guy. Like Jeno did kiss guys and girls at parties, but never got together with them. Jaemin wasn't surprised, but was a bit taken aback. How come Jeno didn't tell him that he was dating someone? He felt kinda upset that Jeno didn’t tell him.

 

"Well, not really. I mean he's fooled around before, but I didn't know he would date a guy so soon."

 

"He must really like Renjun."

 

"Yeah."

 

Donghyuck just sighed, glancing back at his MacBook. "There is something you need to know and I probably shouldn’t tell you and I will most likely regret this but hey I have a big mouth anyways." Donghyuck looked up from his screen. "It's about Hansol."

 

Jaemin's face suddenly turned pale. 

 

"He's back."

 

"No way." Jaemin couldn’t believe his ears. 

  

 

 

There was was no lie that Hansol was Jaemin's first love. He had given up so much for someone who had never even gave a damn about him. Years and years after chasing him. Jaemin couldn't let Hansol go because he was determined that Hansol could have loved him back. He was his first heartbreak and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get over him.  

 

Hansol was a big part of Jaemin's life. There was no one else that could compare. After Hansol left, Jaemin vowed to never fall in love again. But there was Jeno by his side who had healed his heart, but Jeno was no Hansol and he could ever be Hansol. 

 

Hansol was beautiful but people tend to overlook that and pick at his every bad mistakes. He had a good heart and strong intentions, he just made wrong choices. People never look at the good things he did, they only looked at his mistakes and hated him for it. Jaemin understood that Hansol was a good person and he wanted people to understand that people shouldn’t judge him for his past. 

 

 

 

"So you're saying that he's back?"

 

"Yeah. The guys are meeting up with him."

 

“The guys?”

 

“Mostly Jaehyun and Sicheng and Yuta. I heard all this from Jaehyun actually because I was just with him. Maybe Johnny will be there too. But I don’t think Doyoung is going because you know what happened.”

 

Jaemin looked down at the ground. He remember crying his eyes out when Hansol was gone. It just wasn't fair to him and how much he worked so hard for. Hansol was the only person he wanted to pay attention to him and in all his life, he was never given the attention he wanted since Hansol never looked at him as anything more than a brother. 

 

Donghyuck patted his back. "Don't go and see him. Please." 

 

"What makes you think I won't go?"

 

Donghyuck frowned at him. "There's no point. Hansol won't ever love you back."

 

Jaemin sighed, walking away. “You’re supposed to be my best Hyuck.”

 

”I know-“

 

Jaemin shook his head. “It’s not about that. I just miss him. It doesn’t matter if he loves me or not. I just want to see him. As a friend.”

 

Donghyuck sighed, shaking his head as he grabbed the younger boy by his shoulder. “He might not even be the same Hansol you have know for years. He could have changed and he could…” Donghyuck paused for a second. “Hurt you.”

 

“Hansol would never hurt me.”

 

“Okay you say that but he’s been hurting since the first time you saw him and his high school girlfriend kissing.”

 

“Look, I’m going to see him.”

 

“You’re going to regret it Jaemin.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin was in his room, rummaging through his closet for a jacket when Jeno came back. He had brought Renjun with him because they went to go see a movie earlier. He walked out of his room, seeing Jeno’s arm around Renjun.

 

Jeno smiled when he saw him walk out. “Jaemin, I want you to meet Renjun.”

 

Renjun and him locked eyes for moment, and then Renjun smiled at him, looking at him closely. Renjun was really handsome with strong features and he was kinda jealous, but he wouldn't say that out loud. He had that sweet smile that could draw you in, but something seemed off about him. He didn’t know what it was but soon ignored it. 

 

"Hi. I'm Jaemin. English Major."

 

"Renjun. Business major."

 

Jaemin just smiled at him before turning to look at Jeno. "I'm going out with Chenle for a while. You guys have fun."

 

Jeno grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking away. "What do you mean? It's 10 pm."

 

Jaemin didn't want to tell Jeno that he was going to see Hansol. He would never see the end of it. "And please don't ask. I'll be fine."

 

Jeno didn't believe him. "Jaemin, I brought Renjun over so you guys can get to know each other. He really wants to hang out with you. Why are you suddenly leaving?"

 

Jaemin was biting lips. "Sorry. You should have told me earlier. I have to go help Chenle and his boyfriend problems. You know. He and Sicheng have been fighting and he asked me comfort him.”

 

Jeno just sighed, a frown on his face. He was pretty sure Chenle didn’t have boyfriend problems when he just saw him and Sicheng making out a few hours ago. "Okay. Just don’t be out too long.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were hiding behind Jaemin's car just when Hansol came out. 

 

"No way. He's working at bar right now?"

 

"Wasn't he arrested at a bar that one time?" Chenle asked. 

 

Jaemim just shrugged. "I guess." He stalled for a moment, getting his nerves up. "Okay, I think I got this."

 

Right when he was about to follow Hansol, someone grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see that it was Taeyong. His eyes grew wide. Wait, what was he doing here? Taeyong was a close friend of Hansol's who had gone missing just awhile ago. 

 

"Taeyong?"

 

Taeyong looked at him with fierce eyes. "Hey squirt, what are doing here?”

 

“Me? Where have you been? And that’s none of your business what I’m doing here.”

 

Taeyong glared at him. “Don't follow him."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Taeyong looked around before pulling Jaemin into a small corner, Chenle following close behind, equally shocked. When he spoke, his voice became softer. "He's changed. He's not the same. Please don't come looking for him. He will hurt you."

 

Jaemin scoffed. "No he won't."

 

"Go back. Please."

 

Jaemin couldn't move his feet. He needed to talk to Hansol. It was the only thing on his mind. "I can't. I know that if I talk to him, then-"

 

"Then what? You'll be heartbroken again."

 

Chenle immediately pulled Jaemin's arm. Something about Taeyong always scared Chenle. "Let's go."

 

"Guys," Jaemin shrugged them off. "You don't understand! I need to see him."

 

"No you don't!" Taeyong almost yelled in his face. Jaemin pushed him off but Taeyong was too strong. They both fell to the ground and Jaemin hit the ground hard, but gladly he didn't didn’t scrape anything. Chenle helped him up but it was voice that stopped them. 

 

"Jaemin?”

 

The voice was very familiar. Jaemin looked up to see Hansol looking right at him. Jaemin couldn’t say anything but stare at him as Chenle pulled him up.  

 

 

 

Hansol had grown taller, a bit more muscular and there was something in Hansol's eyes that screamed dangerous. There was a large tattoo on both his arms and Jaemin wondered what it could be. Out of all the years he’s known Hansol, he never had a single tattoo on his body and even told everyone that he would never turn into those fools who would get tatted. Hansol seemed different from what Jaemin can see, like he suddenly became a new person and not the same one that Jaemin had fallen in love with a long time ago.

 

Jaemin knew that Hansol had a criminal record of course, but he was a good guy who had went to college, but got kicked out because of certain circumstances. 

 

When he learned about the fact that Hansol was here only because he needed a job, he was happy but he's was uncertain of the real truth behind it. 

 

"How are you Jaemin?" The older guy asked, looking at him closely. 

 

"I'm doing okay,” Jaemin managed to voice out. 

 

"I'm glad." 

 

They just looked each other. Hansol and pretty much everyone knew that he is in love with him, but the question of when he would get over him is hard to say. 

 

"Jaemin baby, I have to tell you something."

 

Jaemin flinched at nickname that was used too many times. "What is it?"

 

"I'm engaged."

 

“You are?”

 

Hansol nodded, and then smiled at him. He still had that beautiful smile that he loved very much. “She’s everything I could ever want.”

 

Jaemin looked away for a moment. “I’m happy for you. And Hansol, it’s good to have you back in the city.”

 

Hansol suddenly reached out to brush away the hair out of his eyes and caress his cheeks a bit. “You’ve grown a lot baby boy. You got taller and you have that those adorable cheeks.” Hansol pressed his thumb against his cheeks. “It’s great seeing you again.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He's engaged?" Chenle asked when Jaemin told him what happened. He squeezed Jaemin's shoulder, comforting him. They were heading back to their dorm now. 

 

"Please don't tell anyone that I went to see him. They would all kick my ."

 

"They wouldn't but probably Doyoung would yell at you. But hey you can't help it, Jaemin. All you want is him and it's not easy."

 

"You have no idea. It feels like my whole world is already broken to pieces. It's just not fair."

 

Chenle didn't know what to say so he just kept driving. 

 

 

 

 

 

Renjun and Jeno were pretty much together 24/7. Jeno really hoped that they were able to last. Everytime Renjun kissed him or held his hand, it was the best feeling ever. They were working on writing lyrics for their performance.

 

While they were in the room, Jaemin had barged into the apartment and there were voices following him. 

 

"I'm sorry Jaemin. It was my fault." It was Donghyuck. 

 

"Just please don't do anything else Hyuck. I’m not ready to face him after what I did."

 

"He wanted me to tell him. He was going to slap my if I didn't say something and you know how he is when he wants to know something. He gets really mad."

 

Jeno walked out into the living room. "What is going on?"

 

They both looked at him. Jaemin was a little surprised he was here since for the past few days, he's been spending time in Renjun's dorm. 

 

"Ugh. I don't need this," Jaemin muttered, flopping on the couch. 

 

Donghyuck frowned and Jeno wondered what the hell was going on. Jaemin hadn't even told anything that's been happening. 

 

"I'm gonna go," Donghyuck said. "Let me know when's he not like this," he whispered to Jeno. 

 

When Donghyuck left, Jeno sat down next to Jaemin on the couch. "Okay, so why are you so mad at him?"

 

Jaemin looked at him, exasperated. "He did something he wasn't supposed to."

 

"And?"

 

Jaemin shook his head. "Nothing."

 

"What do you mean it's nothing? You haven't been telling me what's going on."

 

"Because all you do is spend time with Renjun!" Jaemin blurted out loud, clearly annoyed. “You’re never around Jeno.”

 

Jeno stared at him, but didn't say anything. It was true that Renjun had been occupying his time, but he had never ignored Jaemin because of it. 

 

Jaemin realized what he did and faced Jeno clearly. "I didn't want you to have to worry about my business. You never even informed me about you liking… him. You didn't tell me anything, but right now, I don't care. It doesn’t matter. You need to focus on your relationship."

 

Jeno suddenly grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the bathroom. He didn't want Renjun to sneak up on the conversation.

 

"Look," Jeno said, looking into Jaemin's eyes. "I'm sorry. We just happened and I do really like him, but you always come first. You know that."

 

Jaemin just nodded. "I'm fine with you dating him."

 

"I know," Jeno said, pushing the hair out of Jaemin's face and looking into his eyes. "I don't to want to jinx anything, but I heard. I thought it’s wasn’t true but I had to dig it out of Chenle what you did the other night. I know you went to see Hansol.” 

 

Jaemin nodded. “Sorry. He’s just in the city and I had to see him.”

 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

“I thought you wouldn’t approve of me seeing him.”

 

Jeno was silent for a second. “If you wanted to see him, there’s nothing I could do to stop you. I know that you still love Hansol.”

 

Jaemin sighed. "Yeah."

 

"So what happened?"

 

"I went to see him to only to find that he's engaged and the only reason he's here was because he wanted to make money."

 

Jeno just nodded. "Okay. Let’s talk more when Renjun’s not here. I’ll ask him to leave.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jaemin had never talked about how much he was in pain because of Hansol. The only time he had talked about it was when Jeno was there, comforting him. Hansol had always been someone Jaemin respected and appreciated, but it was too much. It wasn't fair. He hated being in love with someone who will never ever love him back or give him a chance.

 

There are times when he wanted to just never see Hansol again, but he knew that if he didn't, the pain would come again. Like getting stabbed again and again continuously. The pain was endless.

 

Jeno had Jaemin laying on top of him on the couch after they had talked through what had to be said. Jeno did feel sorry for Jaemin and never wanted him to experience something like that again. He even told him that seeing Hansol more would give him more pain but Jaemin just brushed it off. 

 

"Jaemin you know can find someone better than him. You’re still young and there’s time to find someone else.”

 

Jaemin just hummed. He knows Jeno is trying to help him feel better. "But it will only be him in my heart."

 

"You need to get over him."

 

Jaemin was quiet, tracing little patterns on Jeno’s arm. The one that had his big tattoo, trailing up to his shoulder. He always had to wear a long sleeve to cover it up. "Yeah yeah I know."

 

They didn't say anything for a moment. It was just them and the cold weather. 

 

"Renjun. What do you like about him?"

 

Jeno smiled. "There is just something about him that I just really like. He's really amazing and has a great voice."

 

"He sings?"

 

"Yeah.."

 

"Man, you're whipped."

 

Jeno smiled down at him before shifting their bodies around. Now they were face to face. Jaemin had his eyes closed, lips parted and Jeno thought that he looked beautiful that way.

 

Jeno slowly closed his eyes too and moments later, they fell asleep. 

 

 

It was Winter Break. Jeno had spent a day over at Renjun's before he had to leave with Jaemin to go back home.

 

He and Renjun had agreed to see one another before they would be separated for while. They went out to go eat and Renjun had taken him on a night stroll, walking around the city. It was cold, but it was a way to really explore something new and they just really enjoyed each other’s company. They had talked about several things including their dreams and past relationships. Renjun wanted to know everything about him, but it was a little hard for Jeno to tell him everything. 

 

When they returned back to Renjun's place, they spent the night kissing and exploring each other's bodies. 

 

"I'll call you," Renjun said when they were laying side by side, Renjun pressing light kisses on the side of his neck. 

 

"That would be nice."

 

Renjun smiled at him. "You're spending the break with Jaemin right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Renjun laced their fingers together. "Jaemin has a pretty face and the most sparkling eyes and very nice white straight teeth. He’s really beautiful. No wonder why people are all over him. He’s like almost unreal."

 

Jeno just chuckled, closing his eyes. "He only has one person on his mind though."

 

"He's a bit of a heartbreaker isn't he? He seems like someone who just doesn't care for relationships. Someone who studies a lot, eats chips in the morning for breakfast, and wears casual clothing, listens to classical music, and people are on his knees for him."

 

Jeno just shook his head, chuckling a bit. "He's not really a heartbreaker. And you're almost correct about him. If you ask me, his love life is extremely pathetic and sad."

 

Renjun looked up at him from the corner of his eyes. “Only you can say that.”

 

Jeno just smiled. “He’s been in love with someone for years. I don’t think there’s anyone else but him in his heart.”

 

 

 

When Jeno came back to the dorm, Jaemin was taking a long shower. They had finished packing together a few days ago and were set to go. 

 

"You're back," Jaemin said, toweling his hair. Jaemin was dressed up in long jeans and a red sweater. He walked over to Jeno and threw his towel on him. 

 

"What was that for?"

 

"Go shower. You need to get clean. I don't want you smelling like ."

 

"Oh like you know what smells like."

 

Jaemin frowned at him. It was such a Jeno thing to say. " you."

 

Jeno just smiled at him. "I'll be the one doing the ing baby."

 

Rolling his eyes, he walked away. “You’re so gross Jeno. Now go shower. I’ll make you something to eat.”

 

 

 

 

They both had bid their friends goodbye before they left. Doyoung and Jaehyun had already left to spend the break together while Donghyuck and Mark were staying back in the dorm to finish up with their studies. He noticed how Jaemin had refused to talk to Doyoung or Jaehyun in general after Doyoung called him on the phone. 

 

“So you want to tell me what’s up with you and them? Did something happen?” Jeno asked once they were in car after arguing who would drive. Jeno ended up winning. 

 

Jaemin shrugged. “Doyoung and I got into a fight. He found out about me seeing Hansol and got pretty mad. Like I mean Doyoung loves me and really cares for me like I'm his younger brother but he drives me nuts sometimes. He can call me immature or whatever but he should stop trying to be everyone’s mom.”

 

“Doyoung just wants to look out for everyone.”

 

“Yeah I know and Jaehyun tried to reason with Doyoung since Jaehyun is closer to Hansol but Doyoung told him to shut up and stay out the situation. I mean we’re just not talking anymore.”

 

“I swear to god Jaemin,” Jeno said. “I can’t believe you.”

 

 

 

When they arrived at Jaemin's house, Jaemin's mother had cooked them food. She had asked how the studies were going and Jaemin just said that it's been going good. After eating, Jaemin's mother had asked Jeno if he wanted to go on the camping trip and honestly, he didn't want to go but he would never say that.

 

"I would love to go, but isn't it a family thing?"

 

"You are part of our family Jeno. You always have been and in the future when you guys get married, it will become true."

 

Jeno choked on his water while Jaemin looked at his mother in horror. "Mom."

 

"So do you want to go Jeno? We would love to spend more time with you before you guys have to go back to school."

 

Jaemin looked at him, shrugging. "You can come if you want."

 

Jeno bit his lips, wiping his mouth. "Um sure I guess.”

 

"Okay! This is going to be good."

 

 

 

They ate dinner and afterward, his mother kept wanting to talk to Jeno for whatever reason, but he didn't mind unless Jeno says something stupid or vice versa so he went to wash up for bed. 

 

Jeno walked into his room about a half an hour later.

 

"What did she want?" Jaemin asked, looking up at him from his phone. 

 

"She just asked me when I'm going to propose you and other stuff.”

 

Jaemin raised his eyes. "Oh god. She does want us to get married huh?"

 

Jeno smiled bitterly. "It'll break her heart if we don't end up getting married.”

 

Jaemin just nodded at him, sitting up on the bed. “What did you say to her?"

 

"What am I supposed to say? She's your mom."

 

"What? Yeah I know but you didn't tell her we were going to get married right?"

 

Jeno walked over to the bed, laying next to him and pulling him closer, kissing his neck softly. "Of course not. Unless you want to get married?"

 

Jaemin stared at him, unsure what to say. But then he smiled. "You’re crazy.”

 

Jeno looked at him cheekily. "So you don’t want to get married to me?"

 

Jaemin thought about it for a second. "Nah. Like I don’t want to marry you.”

 

They snuggled against each other, Jaemin's head under his chin. He could smell Jaemin's scent. He had always loved the way Jaemin smelled after a shower. He leaned down to sniff his head. 

 

"What was that for?" Jaemin asked. 

 

"You smell nice," Jeno replied, not looking at him. 

 

"Oh I mean I guess."

 

"It's true. You do smell really nice. You always smell nice honestly.”

 

Jaemin laughed, slightly pinching his side. "Did you really have with Renjun?"

 

Jeno chuckled. "Of course. You think I wouldn't?"

 

Jaemin’s eyes grew wide. “Okay.”

 

Suddenly Jeno’s phone rang and Jeno took it out. “It’s Mark.” He picked it up. 

 

“Hey Mark. Do you need something?”

 

“Not really but I want to just ask your opinion of me dating Yeri? That girl from my literature class. She asked me out.”

 

Jeno knows Yeri and she’s pretty popular, but they weren’t friends whatsoever. He always sees her hanging out with her group of friends before class. “Oh well do you like her?”

 

“She’s cute and besides, she isn’t so bad. We can make it work.”

 

“But what about Donghyuck?” Jeno glanced a bit at Jaemin who was playing on his phone. 

 

“Huh? What about him?”

 

“Does he know?”

 

Mark was quiet for a moment. “Um should he know? I don't think he would care anyway and why are you asking about him?”

 

“Oh nothing. Date her if you want.”

 

“Okay okay. Just asking. Bye Jeno.”

 

Jaemin looked up at him. “What did he ask?”

 

“He wants to date Yeri and asking me if he should date her.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Jeno just nodded. “Yeah…”

 

“They would look cute.”

 

 

 

They spent the entire 1st half of the break spending time with their parents and Jeno often found himself at his own house because his younger sister wanted him to help plan her Christmas party. Jeno loves his sister a lot, but at the same time she was annoying. They were only 3 years apart but she still bosses him around a lot. 

 

“Come on Jeno, it’s not like you have anything better to do.”

 

“I’m busy. I have a life you know.”

 

“You only spend time with Jaemin and technically that’s all you do. Is that what you call having a life?”

 

Jeno sighed, looking at his sister. “What do you need?”

 

“Can you play at the party? You know how my friends-”

 

“No, I’m outta here.” He doesn’t want to be there when her friends are there too because they tend to always try to flirt with him. 

 

“Come on,” she whined. “Please?”

 

“Look, Jaemin and I are also going to have our own party. I probably can’t make it to yours. Sorry lil sis.”

 

”Fine. You will regret this.”

 

 

 

When camping came around, they both went out to buy the things for camping. The family had drove all the way to the countryside and stayed at a cabin. Jaemin's cousin, Yesung, had brought his girlfriend with him. Yesung was someone Jaemin depended on a lot back in those high school days. Jaemin had a big family but he wasn't that close to many of them and he never talked to any of his cousins that much. Jaemin was also an only child so it can get lonely. 

 

"I'm gonna go outside help your dad shovel snow," Jeno said, putting on his coat. Jaemin was still in bed, not wanting to get up. They had spend the whole night watching a movie with the whole family.  

 

"Go ahead."

 

A few hours later, the family had met up for a family breakfast and Jeno returned from shoveling. Jaemin's dad and uncle talked a lot and Jeno regretted volunteering to help. Jaemin was busy helping his mother set up the table. After they were done eating, Jaemin had asked him if he wanted go somewhere.

 

"Where?"

 

"Fresh air."

 

Jaemin went into his dad's trunk and showed him the snowboarding equipments he was able to bring. 

 

"I want to show you how to snowboard."

 

"Oh really?" Jeno wasn't enthusiastic about it. 

 

"Yeah. Come on."

 

They held hands as they walked up the hill. 

 

"I promise you that it's very fun. You need to at least experience this. I promise you, you won't regret it."

 

Jaemin had helped him get the hang of it and a few hours later, he was getting good. They snowboarded for hours until Jaemin's mother called him to come back. 

 

"Thank you. It was fun."

 

"I know. Snowboarding is very fun."

 

At times like this, just looking at Jaemin made him want to hold him forever. The younger boy pulled on his hand and before they knew it, they were falling down. 

 

"Hey," Jaemin whispered, "you were amazing today." They were lying on the snow with Jaemin’s body next to his.

 

Jeno smiled at him. "You too baby."

 

Jaemjn just sighed and leaned over to look at him. "Are you going to call me that from now on?"

 

"You would like that huh?"

 

Jaemin slowly leaned down to kiss his cheek. It  was a very wet one. “I guess I don't mind really.”

 

Jeno smiled at him, pulling him down. “Okay baby.”

 

Jaemin shoved him and suddenly stood up. "Come on. Let's go."

 

 

 

It was the end of winter break when things got a little crazy between the two of them. They've pretty much spent their youth together and high years just being best friends. But there were times when they act like they were more than just friends.  

 

They were we're heading back to Jaemin's hometown after spending 5 days out in the snow. It was a long drive and Jaemin was sleeping on his lap. Yesung was also in the car with girlfriend and Yesung had asked him if he had ever planned on dating Jaemin. 

 

"I never really thought about it," Jeno answered honestly.

 

"Have you guys ever kissed?"

 

Jeno looked down at Jaemin. "Nope. Not on the lips at least."

 

"Have you ever wanted to?"

 

Now Jeno was getting annoyed. "Why are you asking me these questions? I have a boyfriend."

 

Yesung just shrugged. "Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you don't have feelings for Jaemin."

 

"Feelings for Jaemin?"

 

"The one you get every time you think about him getting hurt."

 

 Jaemin shifted in his sleep and Jeno suddenly looked down at him. He was half worried that Jaemin could hear what they were talking about. “I don’t think those are real feelings Yesung. Of course I don’t want him to get hurt.”

 

 

 

It had happened when they both went over to Jeno's house for the weekend. Jeno's mother was a lot better than Jaemin's because she wasn't curious about their relationship or asked Jaemin any weird questions. Jeno's dad had wanted to spend time with the both of them and asked them to watch a movie. Mid way through the movie, Jaemin had spilled some of the coke on him and Jeno. 

 

"Oh sorry Jeno."

 

"It's fine."

 

Jeno's dad just told them to change into new shirts.

 

"I think I should have some of your shirts here," Jeno said, looking through his drawers. 

 

"I don't even remember leaving anything here."

 

Jeno reached for a white shirt and threw it over to him. "Just wear mine." 

 

Jeno was putting on his shirt, but Jaemin suddenly stopped him. "Wait." Jaemin was looking down at his tattoo, staring at it closely. "Did you get a new tattoo?"

 

Jeno looked down at his arm. He had gotten another tattoo recently, but he hadn't told anyone. He had gotten it with Jaehyun just before the break and didn’t tell anyone.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Seriously?" 

 

"Do you like it?"

 

Jaemin was flabbergasted, almost speechless at what he was seeing. Jeno had tattooed a leo  zodiac sign, with Jaemin's birthdate on it. "You tattooed my... birthdate..? What the hell?”

 

Jeno on his lips. "Yeah. It was because Jaehyun and I had agreed to tattoo someone's birth date. I chose you because," Jeno glanced down at his tattoo, "I wanted to."

 

The tattoo was extremely small and it was hidden just under his underarm. No one could have seen it unless you had really sharp eyes. 

 

"I can't believe you."

 

Jeno just smiled at him. "Now that I have something about you on my ing body, you should have something of mine."

 

Jaemin shook his head. He slowly touched the part of the tattoo. It was so unreal, yet so mildly stupid. Jaemin didn't know whether he liked it or not, but it was something new. 

 

"It's gonna be here forever, you know. You could've have tattooed like your mother's or someone else."

 

"I could, but I didn't want to."

 

Jaemin sighed. "I'm not going to tattoo your birthday on my body. I’m never getting a tattoo.”

 

Jeno pulled him in closer to him. They were the same height. "It's not that bad."

 

"It is."

 

"You see. I was really hoping you wouldn't notice it. I know you'd freak out."

 

"I'm not freaked out. It's kinda really cool, you having something of me."

 

"Now you should have something of mine."

 

Jaemin thought about it for a moment while he changed out of his shirt. They both heard Jeno's dad knocking on the door. 

 

"You guys done changing?

 

"Yeah dad," Jeno said.

 

 

 

 

After the movie finished, they both washed up. They were on the bed when Jaemin suddenly said something very unlike him as he played with Jeno’s arms and trailed kisses on his shoulder. 

 

"What do you want on my body? If we want to to be fair."

 

"I don't know." Jeno looked at him for a very long time. Jaemin was looking at him too.

 

"Sit up,” Jeno said, making the both of them sit up in their beds, facing each other. They stared at each other for awhile until Jeno lifted up his shirt. “Take off your shirt."

 

Jaemin complied, slowly taking it off. Once his shirt was off, he felt a little exposed but it was Jeno so it wasn't that bad. Jeno's seen him several times before so it wasn't something he should be embarrassed for. Jeno kept looking at his body. 

 

"I'm going to give you a hickey. Is that okay?"

 

Jaemin blinked a few times, but Jeno didn’t give him time to think because he leaned over to kiss all over both sides of his neck and down his collarbone. It felt nice.

 

When Jeno on the skin near the collarbone, he hissed, reaching out to place his hands on Jeno’s biceps. Jeno had given him a hickey before, but he doesn't remember it hurting so bad. When Jeno was done, he kissed down his chest and up his shoulder. 

 

"How many do you want?" He whispered against his ears, on it lightly. 

 

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead he was staring down at Jeno's beautiful tattoo. He had never admitted it before, but his tattoo was hot. He had always had a thing for guys with tattoos. No wonder why he was so drawn to Hansol. 

 

"As many as you want to do on me," came Jaemin's reply. 

 

Jeno looked at him, his hands holding his waist. "You're so beautiful like this."

 

"Why do you think so?"

 

"Because I marked you," he whispered, kissing his chin and everywhere he could kiss. They slowly laid down on the bed and Jeno a hickey on his chest and shoulders, kissing areas that made Jaemin gasped.

 

Jaemin stopped him for second. "I don't know. Shouldn't this count as cheating?"

 

Jeno didn't say anything for awhile. 

 

"You think so?"

 

Jaemin nodded, absentmindedly touching Jeno's tattoo. "Yeah."

 

"But we're friends."

 

"Always."

 

Jeno slowly took off his shirt and Jaemin can see how defined Jeno really looked as he hovered over him. Jaemin watched the way Jeno flexed his abs and reached out to feel it under his palms, letting Jeno’s fingers trail down the inches of his body. Jeno’s hands reached down his and gently squeezed it. 

 

At this point, Jaemin didn't mind that much but he also didn't know what they were doing. It wasn't the first time they did this. They kiss each other all the time, but not this intimately. When Jeno was done marking him, Jaemin pulled him down by the neck. “Jeno,” he whispered against his neck. 

 

“What?” Jeno asked, lacing their hands together and kissing his face and nose, but never kissing his lips. 

 

“We should go to sleep. I'm kinda sleepy.”

 

Jeno just smiled at him as they snuggled together, Jeno’s hands around his waist and Jeno kissed him once more before he drifted off to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their friends had made it down to Jaemin's house for a Christmas party. Jeno had called Renjun and asked if he could make it down, but Renjun couldn't because he was busy. What surprised Jaemin even more was that Taeyong showed up and requests to talk to Jaemin. Jaemin quickly denied any request to talk to him. Chenle was trying to get Taeyong to talk to him instead. 

 

Jeno was surprised to see Taeyong after a while ever since Taeyong ditched the city for who knows what. They were never close and never got along and Jeno doesn’t even know how Taeyong knew about the party.

 

"What happened between you guys?" Jeno asked Jaemin. Jaemin seemed like he was going to get mad. 

 

"Don't ask. Get him out of my house. Please."

 

"He won't leave unless you talk to him."

 

"I don't care."

 

Jeno sighed and walked out of the room. He didn't want to get into their business. Taeyong looked at him and walked to him.

 

"Where is he?"

 

"Why do you need to talk to him so bad?"

 

"That's none of your business Jeno.”

 

"You can either get the hell out or I will make you get out. He doesn't need some low unemployed in his house right now."

 

"Shut your trap. I'm here because Hansol asked me talk to him and I will talk to him. I don't care what you say.”

 

Jeno stared at him. "Hansol? What does he need?"

 

Chenle suddenly pushed him to the side. "Oh sorry Jeno. Just come with me Taeyong. Jaemin is in his room." 

 

Taeyong followed Chenle and Jeno watched them. 

 

After Taeyong had left, Jaemin finally came out of his room.  

 

He didn't say much and the party just went on. Sicheng had came over a bit after 9 and they all decided to play a game. 

 

"Spin the bottle?" Sicheng asked, putting the drinks on the ground.

 

"That's such a college game."

 

"Well, we are college students. Who's down?" Donghyuck asked, sounding excited.

 

"I am," Jeno said, sitting down. Mark and Chenle had also sat down and Jaemin followed after. Jaemin bit his lips, unsure if this was a good idea. Sicheng just smiled.

 

"Okay. Who wants to start?"

 

Jaemin stopped them. "Oh wait, how does this start again?"

 

"It's a drinking and kissing game. If you spin the bottle and it lands on someone, you can kiss them or decide to drink it."

 

Jaemin instantly looked at Mark. "No way. Not when he's here."

 

Mark rolled his eyes. “I don’t have a crush on you anymore so you don’t to get scared.”

 

"Yeah it's just a game, Jaemin. Don't get all freaked out."

 

"I am freaked out actually. If I get Mark, I'm not kissing him."

 

Donghyuck laughed. “Loosen up. You and Mark are friends anyways. It’s a game and kissing Mark wouldn’t be that bad. There's 4 of us left. We each have to kiss at least 2 people before the game ends."

 

"What kind of rule is that?"

 

"A rule I just made up."

 

Jaemin was really a baby. He quickly stood up. "Never mind. I don't like this game. I'm not kissing anyone."

 

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Come back you big baby. It's not like it's a big deal. It's just like Jeno giving you a hickey. It's just for fun."

 

Jaemin glared at him. "For fun my . I would love to see you kiss Mark for fun."

 

"And I would like to see you kiss Jeno."

 

“Why are you even like this?”

 

"Guys," Chenle said. "Let's not. We can do something else."

 

"Truth or dare?" Jeno suggested. 

 

"That's even worse," Jaemin whined. 

 

"Let's do it," Donghyuck said. "You should live once in awhile, Jaemin. You're such a buzz kill."

 

When the game started, it was Chenle who got dared to give Jeno a hickey. Jeno was a little bit surprised that it was Sicheng who dared him to do it. Next it was Donghyuck. He chose dare. 

 

"Was it true that you had a crush on Jeno during high school?"

 

" you Chenle. It wasn't a crush."

 

"Wait, seriously? You're not denying it."

 

Donghyuck sighed but he didn't look at Jeno. Jeno was pretty shocked himself. "My turn." It spun and it pointed at Jaemin. Jaemin just sat up straight.

 

"Truth or dare." 

 

Jaemin already hated the game. "Truth."

 

"Who do you think has the best body in this room?"

 

"Not you."

 

"My body is better than yours."

 

"I doubt it."

 

"Answer the question."

 

"Jeno." Jaemin spun the bottle and it landed on Mark. "Truth or dare?"

 

"Dare."

 

"I dare you to do a 7 minute in heaven with Donghyuck."

 

"Whoa, wait," Donghyuck said, shocked. "What the ?"

 

Jaemin just shrugged. "The closet is to the right."

 

“I will kill you after this.”

 

Mark and Donghyuck were in the room now and Jaemin used his phone to time them. "Okay, 7 minutes start now."

 

Jaemin and Chenle had their ears against the door and they could hear whispers. 

 

"You think Mark is going to kiss him?"

 

"Who knows."

 

"Guys," Jeno said. "Leave them alone."

 

When the 7 minute was up, Mark and Donghyuck walked out like nothing happened, but Jaemin noticed how Haechan was blushing. Something certainly happened.

 

"Okay, my turn." Mark spun the bottle.

 

The bottle pointed to Jeno.

 

"Truth or dare?"

 

"Dare."

 

"I dare you to make out with the person to your right."

 

Jeno looked at Jaemin, who was to his right. Kissing wasn't so bad. "Okay." He scoffed over to his friend.

 

"Wait," Jaemin said, glancing around. “We're just going to kiss in front of them?"

 

Jeno nodded. "Come on. It's not like you've never kissed before."

 

Jaemin suddenly closed his eyes, deciding that kissing Jeno wouldn’t be that bad. "Okay."

 

Jeno leaned in and kissed Jaemin. It was very dry at first but once they started to get used to it, Jaemin kissed him back. Jeno pulled him close and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. After a few minutes, Jeno pulled away. 

 

"Okay, I guess it's my turn."

 

Everyone looked them, shocked. 

 

"I can't believe you guys actually kissed," Donghyuck said. "Like it's been years since I've wanted to see something like this."

 

"Me too," Chenle commented. "Wow that was bold."

 

The game finally ended and the party was pretty much over. Jeno and Mark had been dared to chug down two beers. Jeno hated drinking, but he decided why not. He doesn’t get drunk that often while Mark was a different story. Donghyuck had to drag him out. When everyone had left, Jeno helped Jaemin clean up the house. Once they were done, Jaemin said that he was going to shower. 

 

"You shower a lot."

 

"And you just don't shower."

 

"I do. I can shower with you if you want."

 

Jaemin shook his head, remembering when they showered last time when they were high schoolers. "No thanks."

 

Jeno walked up to him, trapping him against the wall. He leaned to his ear. "Why? I kinda want to see you again." 

 

Jaemin raised his brows. Was that drunk Jeno talking? "What? You see me all the time, Jeno."

 

"You're right, but we don't shower together."

 

Jaemin just rolled his eyes. "I'm going." He pushed him away and made his way to the bathroom. 

 

Jeno took off his shirt and hopped onto the bed and decided to sleep. He was kinda tired. He was also partial upset he didn't get to see Renjun and his feelings for whatever had happened this whole break was messing up his mind. His mind was filled with Jaemin and he can't help but think that he wanted more of something he shouldn't have.

 

Jaemin was his best friend and suddenly he started feeling something else. He didn't know what it was, but it was driving him crazy. 

 

Once Jaemin was done, he laid down next to him. He didn't mind that Jeno was shirtless once again. "You're tired."

 

"I know."

 

Jaemin pushed his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep."

 

Jeno pulled Jaemin closer, tangling their legs together. "What did Taeyong say to you?"

 

"Hansol wants to see me."

 

Jeno looked down at him. "For what?"

 

"I'm not sure. I will know soon enough."

 

Jeno just nodded. "Okay. Just don't get hurt again. I don't want you getting hurt."

 

Jaemin just smiled, slowly leaning in to kiss his shoulder. "Okay."

 

Jeno slowly laced their fingers together and he could see the smile on Jaemin's lips. He looked into his eyes. "How was the kiss earlier?"

 

"Really good."

 

"You liked it?"

 

Jaemin nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Yeah. I liked it a lot.”

 

Jeno smiled and was already kissing him again. Jaemin kissed him back with everything he had. Things got a little crazy when Jeno roughly pushed him on his back and kissed down his neck with crazy passion. Jeno was slightly drunk because he had probably drank a bit too much. Jeno reached down to grab his and squeeze it. Jaemin pulled him down so they could kiss again, this time with tongues. 

 

Jeno slid his warm hands to his stomach. "Jaemin," Jeno breathed into his ear. "I really want you."

 

Jaemin looked up at him. "You're drunk."

 

"I know. But,” he looked down at how wrecked and hot Jaemin looked. “You look so damn hot right now Jaemin. I just want to have you. Just for tonight.”

 

 

 

 

 

They both woke up to a phone call. It was Jeno's phone. Jeno grabbed his phone from under the pillow and it was Renjun. He looked over see Jaemin covering himself with the blankets, turning to the other side.

 

He walked outside. "Morning Renjun."

 

"Morning Baby. How was Jaemin's party?"

 

"It was great."

 

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it down there. I was really hoping to see you too."

 

Jeno smiled at that. "It's alright."

 

"I'm glad you had fun. I'll call you later."

 

Jeno went back into the room, sitting on the corner in the bed. "Wake up Jaemin."

 

Jaemin groaned from under the blankets. "I'm already awake. Who called you?"

 

"Renjun."

 

"Oh."

 

Last night was barely a blur, but cheating wasn't something Jeno could ever forgive himself for doing. Yes, he clearly knew what he did and it was wrong to sleep with his best friend when he had a boyfriend. He will have to tell Renjun about this later. He couldn’t help but lean down to kiss Jaemin on the lips. 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Last night wasn't supposed to happen."

 

Jaemin stared at him, taken aback at what he just said. "Then don't ing kiss me and say you're sorry .”

 

Jeno stood up. "I'm going to head off to school early tomorrow."

 

Jaemin wasn't necessarily hurt by what Jeno said. What they did was in the moment kind of thing and although Jeno probably regretted, he didn't. He had liked what had happened, but it shouldn’t be taken up to a personal level. They just wanted the same thing to happen.

 

"Okay." Jaemin sat up, crossing his leg. 

 

"I still like Renjun a lot and I know you still love Hansol. What we did last night was something special. I didn't regret it."

 

"Okay yeah honestly me neither."

 

They were quiet for a moment. Jaemin slowly took his hands, lacing them together. He pulled Jeno down to sit on the bed again. 

 

"It's okay."

 

Jeno looked at him for a second. "Not really."

 

"Come on. No one else needs to know what happened between us."

 

Jeno just sighed and Jaemin smiled at him. He trailed his fingertips on Jeno's tattoos. "I always knew you had a thing for them,” Jeno said, laughing a bit.

 

Jaemin leaned his head on Jeno's shoulder. "I was never mad when you got them. I didn't know you would look so ing hot. But when you-" Jaemin stopped for a moment. "Tattooed my birthdate, I was mind blown. You have no idea."

 

Jeno smiled down at him, kissing between his brows. "I'll wait for the day when we both have each other's name on our bodies. That’s hot.”

 

"Why? I don't want your name on my body."

 

"You should."

 

Jaemin frowned at him, pinching his sides. 

 

"Okay never mind. Come on, let's shower."

 

Jaemin finally accepted his offer to shower together for the first time, with Jeno kissing him against the shower walls. 

 

 

 

 

When school started again, Jeno had spent most of his time with his boyfriend and Jaemin was busy studying and going to classes. They've been a bit more careful around each other because they didn't want Renjun to think something was up. It was kinda dangerous for the both of them to be in the same room sometimes. Renjun had tried getting closer to Jaemin and they eventually became friends, but it was quite awkward for them. There was just something about Renjun that Jaemin couldn’t put a finger on and he had a ill feeling about the guy. 

 

When Jaemin came back to the apartment after a study session in the library, he saw Jeno and Renjun making out on the couch. He didn't say anything at first, but it was grossing him out. 

 

"Well, if you guys are gonna , at least do it somewhere else."

 

"Oh hey Jaemin." The older boy smiled at him. 

 

"Hi."

 

Jeno rolled his eyes and got up. Renjun did the same. 

 

"I'll be going," Renjun said. "I have some homework to do."

 

Once Renjun left, Jaemin was making some ramen. He hadn't eaten all day and he was really hungry. He had asked if Jeno wanted some, but the guy wasn't hungry.

 

"How was your study session?"

 

"Good."

 

"Just good?"

 

Jaemin nodded. He looked over at the couch. "How are you and him doing?"

 

"Better."

 

"He doesn't know right?"

 

Jeno put his fingers to his lips. "Shh. Don't say anything. Of course he doesn't know."

 

"You need to tell him, Jeno. Relationships are about being honest."

 

Jeno sighed, walking closer to him. "I will tell him. I still need to figure some things out."

 

"Like what?"

 

"Whether or not Renjun would hate me."

 

Jaemin looked at him and slowly reached out to touch his hand. "There's nothing you can do but be honest."

 

“But is being honest is the best thing thing to do right now?” Jeno asked, looking down at him as he pulled them closer to each other.

 

Jaemin just looked at him. “Yes. It is.”

 

 

 

"One more day." It was all that Jeno had promised to Renjun, but as times went on, Jeno couldn't say what he wanted to say. He could see the look in Renjun's eyes everytime he says something. He couldn't have the heart to tell Renjun the truth. He didn't know why he couldn't and didn’t know why he didn’t want to.

 

There were times when Renjun didn't care because he asked him several times to be honest, but Jeno just kept his lips sealed. Jeno had realized what a hard head Renjun was. It was something he discovered recently. 

 

Renjun had asked him on a date. After he had finished his exams, they both agreed to go out. 

 

That wasn't until Jaemin had ruined the plans. Renjun had barged over their apartment while Jeno was working out with Jaehyun. Jaemin was in the living room, working on his essay.

 

"Hey Jaemin." Renjun's smile was contagious, yet so unfamiliar. Jaemin slowly smiled back.

 

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

 

"I wanted to talk to you."

 

"About what?"

 

Renjun walked up to him. "It's about Jeno. He's acting kinda weird."

 

Jaemin raised his brows. "Weird? How so?"

 

"Like really weird. Did something happen with him?"

 

Jaemin wasn't sure how he was suppose to answer that. Jeno has been the same to him. He didn't find anything out of the ordinary. "I don't think so?"

 

"I know what happened."

 

Jaemin didn't like where this was going. "What do you mean?”

 

"We all know you and him kissed at the party."

 

Jaemin frowned. His friends must have told him, but it didn't seem to matter. "So what? It was a dare. You shouldn't take things too seriously."

 

Renjun frowned at him. "That’s cheating Jaemin. Don’t you know? He didn't tell me that you guys kissed."

 

"Then that's on him. I don't even know why you're talking about this."

 

Renjun stared at him. He knows that there was something else Jaemin wasn't saying. "What else happened? He didn't just cheat on me did he? Well of course he cheated on me fair enough with you. I should have known. I know there must be something else that he isn't telling me.”

 

"What else do you want to know? If you trusted him, you shouldn't go running to me and asking me questions."

 

Renjun was upset and Jaemin can tell. They were looking at each other now and Jaemin finally seemed to understand Renjun. The guy wanted something that he wasn't going to give him. He hated those kinds of people and he was starting to detest Renjun.

 

"You're right. I should trust him more not to play around with you."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Just because you guys are best friends doesn't mean there isn't something else going on. I know there is something."

 

Jaemin crossed his arms. Who the did he think he is? "That something is between me and Jeno. Don't bud into people's business. You should worry about yourself."

 

Renjun suddenly smiled at him. "You aren't so bad about not telling crap. You’re as ed as I knew you were.”

 

Jaemin scrunched his face at him. This boy was getting on his nerves. "Renjun, I don't know what you want from me, but you're not getting it."

 

"I don't want anything but the truth, but I guess with the way that you’re acting, I think that there is something else going on with you two.” Renjun walked out of the dorm and Jaemin closed his eyes. He was getting a headache. 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno had returned back to their dorm and Jaemin disappeared over to Chenle's. He had asked Renjun if he said something to Jaemin, but all Renjun said was that they were talking about school. 

 

They both went the nearest restaurant for their date. It was a typical restaurant. Doyoung's family owned it. 

 

"What did you want to talk about?"

 

"We should do something for New Years," Renjun said. "Are you into those things?"

 

Jeno nodded. "Of course. What do you want to do?"

 

"Let's go somewhere far."

 

"Far?"

 

Renjun smiled at him. When the food arrived, he picked up his chopsticks. They ate in silence until Jeno suddenly touched his hands.

 

"I know you have something else to say."

 

Renjun looked up. "You like him don't you?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Your roommate."

 

Jeno stopped eating. "If I did, I wouldn't be dating you."

 

Renjun sighed. He looked down on his plate. "I wished you would tell me what happened."

 

"Nothing happened Renjun. There’s nothing going on with us.”

 

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that..."

 

Jeno frowned. "Excuse me?"

 

"Mark told me you guys kissed."

 

Jeno's face turned sour. He slowly took his hands away. He would need to talk to Mark. "I'm sorry."

 

"You liked it?"

 

"It's not about me liking the kiss. I'm sorry for cheating on you. I shouldn't have done it."

 

Renjun shook his head. "No. You wanted to kiss him. How can you not want to kiss someone like Jaemin? He's everything you could ever want. Everything anyone could want.”

 

"Renjun-"

 

"Jaemin is everyone's dream boy. He's perfection. I don't get why you're not with him. You say he’s just a best friend when all I hear from your friends is that you guys are more than that. You guys aren't just best friends are you?”

 

"Ren-"

 

"Look. I don't care about the kiss. I never did. It's just the fact that you didn't tell me. If I hadn't brought it up, you probably wouldn't say anything. Am I right?"

 

"I would have told you."

 

"When?" Renjun’s voice was raising. 

 

Jeno didn't say anything so Renjun decided to. "Are you guys ing?"

 

"What?"

 

"Nevermind," Renjun said, getting up. "I have no reason to ask, but you just can't keep your lips off someone who isn't yours."

 

Renjun grabbed his stuff and left the restaurant. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jeno had spent several days thinking about what had happened at the restaurant. He had started to ignore Jaemin and his friends because he needed time to think about his own mistakes. He had kept calling Renjun on the phone, stopping by his dorm and classes, but every time he did that, Renjun wouldn't even want to face him. It wasn't until a few days before he had to perform was when he was successful in getting Renjun to talk to him. Renjun was his partner for the performance and he didn't want to do it without him. Mark had said he was sorry for telling Renjun about the kiss because Renjun forced it out of him. He said it was okay and didn’t talk further on the subject. 

 

He had stopped by his boyfriend's dorm after swim practice and Renjun's roommate, Lucas, or whatever his name was, had opened the door for him. He personally didn't know Lucas since the guy was also an exchange student from China. All he knew was that he was studying Literature with Jaemin. 

 

"Is he here?"

 

"Yes. What do you want?"

 

"I want to talk to him."

 

Lucas leaned on the side of the door opening. "He doesn't want to see your face. You cheated on him and that's not acceptable."

 

"Just let me talk to him."

 

Lucas looked at him for a moment. "Fine. Make it quick." He moved away from the door to let him enter. 

 

Jeno knocked on Renjun's bedroom door and Renjun opened it after a few moments. "Hey."

 

Renjun didn't smiled at him. "You're here to say that you're sorry or that you want to break up?"

 

"Renjun. Just hear me out. You left without letting me explain."

 

"What is there to explain?"

 

Jeno took the chance and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "I admit, I did cheat on you. I’m sorry.”

 

"I know, but you're not telling me the whole thing."

 

"I don't love Jaemin. He's just my friend and I want you to understand that. There's nothing going between us. It was a one night thing that happened." 

 

Renjun was sitting on his table, looking down on the ground. "It's not just that. I can forgive you for doing that, but I don't want you hanging around him."

 

"He's my best friend."

 

Renjun looked up at him. "We all know that."

 

"You don't want me to hang around him because you're scared that he would take me away from you? Or what?"

 

"I don't want you to make the same mistake. Cheating isn't right. You ing slept with your best friend when you knew that you had a boyfriend and that is messed up Jeno. You need to reflect on your actions. What you did was wrong.”

 

They both looked at each other for a moment. 

 

“I was drunk okay? I'm sorry about that. But just know that I like you a lot even if I made a dumb mistake.”

 

Renjun just stared at him, disbelief in his eyes. "Jeno. It's either me or him."

 

Jeno couldn't answer that. He couldn't believe Renjun would make him choose. 

 

"You're making me choose?" Jeno walked up his boyfriend. 

 

Renjun nodded. Jeno just sighed. 

 

"Then I chose none."

 

Jeno walked out of his room, leaving Renjun to watch him go.

 

 

 

 

 

Renjun had confronted Jaemin again right after the day he had a mini fight with Jeno.

 

"You're such a you know that?"

 

Donghyuck was there when it happened. "Hey, you shouldn't say things like that."

 

"I'm just saying the truth. You should keep your hands off Jeno."

 

Jaemin crossed his arms. "And you should stop budding into people's business."

 

"This is my business. Everything that has to do with Jeno is my business, including you."

 

Donghyuck grabbed onto Renjun's arm. "What do you want? It's best not to start a fight."

 

Renjun pushed Donghyuck away. "Look Jaemin. Jeno isn't yours and he won't ever be yours so stop ing with him."

 

Jaemin stared at him. Renjun pushed Jaemin against the wall and slapped him, hard. Haechan's eyes grew wide and suddenly pushed Renjun on the ground. 

 

"What the ? You're so messed up."

 

"I'm not the one who is messed up. You shouldn't sleep with your ing best friend when he's not single. That is messed."

 

Donghyuck looked at Jaemin, who held a very stern expression. He pulled Jaemin to his side. "Don't go near us again." They both left Renjun and went to Donghyuck’s place. Jaemin's cheek was all red. 

 

"Dude, why is Jeno even dating him? His personality is all ed up.”

 

"I have no idea really.”

 

Donghyuck stared at him for a second. "Wait so you slept with Jeno? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

Jaemin glanced at him. "Sorry." 

 

"What?"

 

"It just happened. We didn't tell anyone. It was that one night."

 

"Then how does Renjun know?"

 

Jaemin shrugged. "Why are you asking me?"

 

" Jaemin. Was he good?" 

 

“Hyuck, stop it. Jeno was drunk okay? We did after the kissing thing that happened at the party.”

 

Donghyuck sat down next to him. “Okay I see. I mean he did drink a lot that night but I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised about you sleeping with Jeno. But it took some time for you guys to actually .”

 

Jaemin just sighed, covering his face in hands. “I couldn’t help it. Jeno looked really good and the way he kissed me was just so amazing and I wanted the same thing that night. We were both and wanted it so we did it.”

 

“Okay, just tell me everything that happened. Like are guys still ing behind Renjun’s back or?”

 

Jaemin pushed him. “Dude shut up. You don’t need to know anything else.” 

 

 

 

When Jeno found out about what Renjun did to Jaemin, he wasn't happy. He was able to get Renjun out of the dorm. He drive them down to small cafe in the middle of the day. 

 

"I know you have something to say."

 

"What could I possibly want to say?"

 

"I didn't know you were violent, Renjun."

 

Renjun didn't say anything. 

 

"You slapped him and that is unacceptable. You shouldn't have done that."

 

"And you shouldn't have cheated."

 

Jeno stared at him. "Would that really make a difference right now? You're my boyfriend Renjun and I know right from wrong. I know that I did was wrong, but you know that shouldn't you have hurt him."

 

"He deserved it."

 

That was a low blow and Jeno didn't want to do it anymore. "What the Renjun? You're wrong. If you hurt him again, I won't forgive you."

 

Renjun looked at him in the eye. "It's always going to be him right? I thought that maybe you weren't like what people say, but he is always going to be your top priority. You say he’s just your best friend when you go behind my back and sleep with him. What are you Jeno? Why do you do this? You need to make up your mind. Why are you ing your best friend when you have me? Am I not good enough?"

 

Renjun suddenly stood up. "You're right. I shouldn't have done it, but I did it to get your attention. Stop living like this Jeno. It isn't fair."

 

Jeno took his hands, but Renjun pulled away. "Look, I’m really sorry."

 

"You love him and you would pick him any day. I'm not going to stop you."

 

Jeno didn't know what to say. 

 

Renjun closed his eyes for a second. "I don't care anymore."

 

"Well I do. He's not the one that gives me butterflies when we kiss, he's not the one I like. It was you."

 

Renjun shook his head. "No, stop it. Just tell him I'm sorry."

 

"You tell him yourself." 

 

When he dropped Renjun at his dorm, he immediately when home. Jeno went into his apartment and can hear Jaemin and Chenle talking in the room. He slowly the TV to see what was on. When Chenle left, Jeno made his way into the room. Jaemin was busy doing something on his laptop. 

 

"Hey."

 

Jaemin looked up at him. "Hey."

 

"I'm sorry about what Renjun did."

 

"It's fine."

 

Jeno reached out to touch his cheek. "I didn't know he would do this."

 

Jaemin pushed him away. "It's fine."

 

"No, it's not fine. He shouldn't have hurt you."

 

Jaemin looked away from his laptop. "I should be sorry for hurting your relationship."

 

"Don't be."

 

Jaemin stood up so Jeno could sit down on his chair. Jeno sat down while Jaemin sat on his table. Jeno smiled at him before looking his laptop. 

 

"Essay?"

 

Jaemin shook his head. "Helping Donghyuck with his article for leadership. I have to revise it."

 

"How fun."

 

Jaemin just shrugged. "It's not that bad."

 

"Well for you."

 

Jaemin patted his shoulder, massaging it gently. "Don't worry about me getting hurt. You should work your relationship with him."

 

"We might not last long."

 

"You like him a lot though."

 

Jeno looked away. "Just because I do doesn't mean I'm okay with him slapping you." He got up and changed out his shirt. Jaemin watched him for a second before going back to revising. Once Jeno was done, Jaemin got up sat down next to him on the bed. 

 

Jeno leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "Do you think I should have dated him?"

 

Jaemin shrugged. "I don't know. That's for you to figure out."

 

Jeno just nodded. He laid down on the bed and Jaemin did the same. 

 

"You're my best friend."

 

Jaemin didn't reply, instead he was listening to Jeno's soft breathing.

 

"Are we really?"

 

"What do you think?"

 

Jaemin looked up at him. "We’ve always been best friends." 

 

Jeno looked at him and smiled. Jaemin was already falling asleep and Jeno slowly kissed his nose before getting up and taking a shower.  

 

 

 

 

Jeno and Renjun agreed to work things out starting with the performance. On the day of the performance, Jeno drove them down to the festival and asked if they could enjoy the festival together and Renjun agreed. 

 

"I apologized to Jaemin."

 

"When?"

 

"I met up with him yesterday. He accepted my apology and said I didn’t have to worry about it."

 

"That's good."

 

They walked around for a bit and Renjun reached out to hold his hand. They haven't broken up or anything yet so it was okay. “I’m really sorry for slapping him. I was just upset you know.”

 

Jeno looked at him. “I know. I’m sorry too.” 

 

Mark, Donghyuck, and Chenle had arrived at the festival because they knew that he was performing. Jeno saw them hanging out throughout the day. When it was almost time for them to perform, Jeno took them backstage to warm up.

 

"Are you nervous?"

 

Renjun nodded. "I've never done anything like this."

 

Jeno squeezed his hand. "You have me."

 

Renjun smiled at him. "I know. It's a lot better when you're here."

 

"Don't worry. It's not that bad up there."

 

Renjun looked at their hands. "When we're up there, only look at me okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

 

 

Jaemin watched the performance, but there was something that wasn't right at all. There was a chill going through his body as he heard Renjun sing his lines. It was his song. He quickly turned to Donghyuck. "The song."

 

"It's good huh?"

 

Jaemin knew something wasn't right. It was the song that he had written for Jeno when they were younger. But he had never shown the song to him before. He grabbed his stuff and was about to leave, but Hyuck grabbed onto his arm.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"I have to check something."

 

He left without saying goodbye to his friends and drove back to his apartment and looked in his drawers for the song. He couldn't believe Jeno had stolen the lyrics to the song. He ultimately decided to drive back home because he might have put it there. 

 

When he came back home, his mother was surprised. 

 

"Baby, why are are back home?"

 

"Mom, did Jeno take my songbook?"

 

"You have a songbook?"

 

He hadn't told anyone he wrote songs. The only person who knew was Jeno and he trusted him never to read the book. 

 

Jaemin rushed into his room and looked into every closet and drawer he had. 

 

"No ing way." Jaemin sat on his bed as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t find it anywhere. 

 

He drove back up to his university at around 6 and when he got out of his car, he could see Johnny talking with his friends out in the parking lot. He internally cursed. 

 

"Jaemin."

 

Johnny called out his name and Jaemin tried to ignore him, but it was futile. 

 

"Jaemin!"

 

It was Ten's voice and Jaemin could recognize that voice anywhere. Jaemin turned around to see Ten walking up to him. He hasn't seen Ten ever since Hansol had left. It was like seeing a ghost. 

 

"Ten?"

 

"Hey."

 

Jaemin couldn't believe that Ten was here. "When did you come back?"

 

"Today."

 

"Does everyone else know? Doyoung? Jaehyun?"

 

"They don't know yet."

 

Jaemin stared at him. He couldn’t believe Ten was here again. He looked at Johnny and everyone else. Lucas was standing next to Yuta and Johnny was leaning on his car. 

 

"Come hang out with us."

 

Jaemin accepted the offer and Johnny drive them to go eat. They decided to eat Korean BBQ and Jaemin made sure not to look at Johnny in the eye because Johnny did sort of scare him. He including Jeno, Mark and Hyuck aren’t super close with Johnny and Yuta. Chenle is probably close to the older guys because he’s dating Sicheng and Sicheng is best friends with Yuta and Johnny. He just knows that Lucas is Renjun’s chinese roommate who’s super good looking. 

 

Jaemin turned to look at Ten. "So what are you doing back here?"

 

"I'm visiting. I won't be here for long."

 

"When are you leaving then?"

 

"Next week. Look, I have something for to tell you."

 

"What is it?"

 

"It's about Hansol. I don't want you near him. He's committed murder and now he's on the run. Whatever he said, don't believe him."

 

"Murder?" Jaemin wasn't sure what to believe. 

 

"Jaemin, listen to him," Yuta said. "Hansol isn't here because he's engaged. He actually killed his dad and now he’s on the run."

 

Jaemin couldn't believe his ears. "Is this true? Hansol would never kill anyone."

 

Ten patted his arm. "Please just listen to me."

 

Jaemin looked at everyone, their faces solemn. "Hansol wouldn't lie to me."

 

"He lies to everyone." 

 

"Are you here to take him away? To talk to him?”

 

Ten looked at him, eyes crestfallen. He felt sad for Jaemin, but there wasn't anything he could do. He just nodded at him. “I’m sorry Jaemin. I know how much you love him, but you can’t keep loving a criminal. You have to let him go.

 

“I can’t let him go. He just came back and I won’t let him slip away again.”

 

 

 

When Jaemin came back to the dorm, Jeno was taking a shower. He flopped down on the couch. It was only 8 and the dinner didn't last very long. He couldn't enjoy it because all he could think about was Hansol. He decided to go over to Chenle's place. Chenle didn't share a dorm with anyone since his old roommate dropped out of college. 

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"I ate dinner with Johnny and his friends."

 

Chenle scrunched his face. "And?"

 

"Ten was there."

 

"Ten?" Chenle couldn't believe his ears, clearly surprised by just hearing the name. He suddenly grabbed his phone from the table and dialed Sicheng's number. 

 

"What are you doing?" Jaemin asked, caught off guard by his actions.

 

Chenle just continued on. "Sicheng, go check with Yuta to see him he's back. Ten is back."

 

Chenle chatted a bit before hanging up. "What else happened?"

 

"We just all talked." 

 

"About what?"

 

"I found out that Hansol might be lying. He's not engaged."

 

Chenle's eyes grew big. "He's not?"

 

"He's on the run because he killed his dad. This is all coming from Ten so I don't know what to believe."

 

Chenle nodded. He went to look for his shoes. "Jaemin, I'm going out to see Ten right now. Go back to your place and I'll tell you what's up."

 

Jaemin shook his head, standing up too. "I'll come too."

 

Chenle was already opening the door. "Don't. Stay. Sicheng and I are just going to see him so you don’t need to come.”

 

“Fine, but whatever is going to happen, tell me alright?”

 

Chenle nodded as he pushed Jaemin out his dorm. Jaemin made his way back to his dorm, but before he could open it, Jeno did it for him. 

 

"You're back."

 

Jaemin walked into the dorm, but Jeno grabbed onto him. 

 

"Where have you been? You ignored my calls."

 

"I'm sorry. I just-" Jaemin stopped. "The song."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You sang the song that I wrote."

 

Jeno looked at him in confusion. "Renjun wrote the song, Jaemin. I don't know what you're saying."

 

Jaemin blinked. What? Renjun wrote the song? That was impossible. "He wrote the song?" 

 

"He wrote most of the verses."

 

Jaemin shook his head, walking away. "No way. I-" He walked into his room and realized something. "He must have stolen it."

 

"Your songbook?"

 

Jaemin nodded. "When you left him in the room to talk to me, he must have taken it."

 

"He wouldn't take anything that's yours."

 

Jaemin looked at Jeno. "Of course that's what you think."

 

Jeno took his hand. "Hey, it's okay. I'll just ask him about it." 

 

Jaemin flopped down on the bed. Jeno joined him. "Did something else happen?"

 

Jaemin shook his head and he leaned his head on Jeno's lap, closing his eyes. "Nothing."

 

"Oh come. I know you're lying."

 

"I'm not."

 

Jeno looked down at him, brushing the hair of his face. "I wish you would tell me."

 

 

 

They woke up with a knock on the door. Jaemin rubbed his eyes, nudging Jeno's ribs. 

 

"Ow,” Jeno groaned next to him. 

 

"Sorry." He reluctantly got up the bed, looking at Jeno's shirtless figure. He shook his head, fixing his hair before opening the door. 

 

It turned out to be Donghyuck. "What are you doing up so early?"

 

Hyuck made his way into the dorm. "What happened yesterday? You ran off and this morning I heard from Chenle that you met up with Ten. You never answered your texts Jaemin.”

 

"It's not a big deal."

 

"You don't get it do you? This isn't about you, it's about Ten. Did you forget that Ten and Hansol were part of a gang? The reason why they left college and ran off?”

 

"They were all part of a gang. ing Yuta, Sicheng, Johnny, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Hansol, Ten, everyone. What are you trying to say here? We all know that they stopped when Hansol suddenly left.”

 

"Jaemin, are you going to believe them?”

 

"What do you mean?" Jaemin breathed out. 

 

Jeno was already walking out of the room, shirtless and hair messed up. He watched them for a while, wondering what the was up. Donghyuck saw him and quickly shut up, turning his body to a proper position. 

 

Jaemin turned around to look at Jeno. "You're up."

 

"Yeah. If you want to leave me in the dumps, fine, but I did overhear some things."

 

Donghyuck watched them closely. "Please don't tell me you guys ed again."

 

"We did," Jeno nonchalantly said, walking away to make some tea. Jaemin rolled his eyes him, shaking his head.  

 

"We didn't do anything I swear."

 

"Of course we did. His was really tight last night. You and Mark should get it on really soon."

 

Donghyuck blinked at that comment before crossing his arms. " you Jeno," he said, walking out of the room. "Come see me later Jaemin. I don’t want to deal with whatever it is this is right now.”

 

Jaemin slapped Jeno's shoulder, walking up to him. "Dude, what if that was Renjun instead of Donghyuck?"

 

"I came out like this because I heard Donghyuck's voice. If it was Renjun, I would know better."

 

Jaemin sighed, closing his eyes. He walked into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Once he was done, he saw Jeno on the couch watching something on his laptop. "What are you watching?"

 

"A video Mark sent me," he said, putting arm around Jaemin. "Do you have classes today?"

 

Jaemin shook his head. "Do you?"

 

"Yeah." 

 

"Then get ready."

 

"I'm already half ready."

 

Jaemin hit him on the chest. "Come on. You only have half an hour before class starts." 

 

"That hurt you know," the older boy rubbed his chest. 

 

"Sorry," Jaemin said, placing his hands on the spot he hit. 

 

"It's fine," Jeno uttered, taking Jaemin's hands. They both stared at each other. Jeno glanced at Jaemin's lips for a second. "You can kiss the spot you hit."

 

It was a very intimate situation and Jaemin frowned at that. "You want me to kiss it?" He looked down at Jeno's body and down his tattoo. He bit his lips and Jeno followed his eyes. 

 

"Are you checking me out?" Jeno tilted his head to the side. 

 

"Your tattoo."

 

"Hum?"

 

"Lift up your arm."

 

Jeno did what he was he said to do. Jaemin leaned down to kiss his tattoo, the exact spot where his birthday was tattooed.

 

"There."

 

Jeno smiled at him, pulling him on top of him. "How sweet of you."

 

Jaemin rolled his eyes, getting up. "Go put on something to wear."

 

Jeno rolled him over on the couch and kissed his neck. “I miss you Jaemin. I miss just being with you for a whole day.”

 

Jaemin looked up at him for a second, pulling him down so they can kiss. Jeno kissed him back, reaching out to touch him under his shirt and down his , slipping his hands under his pants until they heard a phone call. Jeno sighed and grabbed his phone out of his pockets.  

 

“It’s Renjun,” Jeno whispered, getting up to take the phone call. Jaemin sighed and waited for Jeno to be done. 

 

“What did he want?”

 

“He’s coming over so I need to go change now,” Jeno said, walking into their room. 

 

 

 

 

It was New Years and Jeno had taken Renjun out of town to spend New Years with his family. His family took a liking to Renjun. Renjun seemed to like them too. 

 

He also planned a date near the beach because Renjun wanted to have a nice dinner date. The weather was still very cold so Jeno decided they could take a walk after dinner. Renjun was fine with that. 

 

"Wait, is it snowing?" Renjun was looking outside. Jeno followed his gaze and it was snowing. 

 

"No way."

 

Everyone else in the restaurant started looking outside too. There were chatters everywhere. It never snowed in the downtown part of Seoul. Renjun smiled. 

 

After they were done eating, they walked around.

 

"It's probably the first time it snowed here."

 

"How is this possible?" 

 

Renjun walked ahead of him. "This reminds me of the first time I fell in love."

 

Jeno frowned. "You've been in love before?"

 

"Yeah. Have you?"

 

Jeno shook his head, catching up to him. "Who was your first love?"

 

Renjun looked out ahead of him. "It wasn't Chenle if you're asking. It was back in China and it was raining. It doesn't snow in China. I saw him for the first time when I was walking home from school. He didn't know who I was back then, but as the years went by, it seemed like he finally noticed me. We talked a lot and he was amazing. He’s a good guy but things didn’t work out for us."

 

Jenk watched him. "Do you still love him?"

 

Renjun shook his head. "You eventually have to get over someone. You can't hold onto them because they were never yours to begin with."

 

"I wished Jaemin would understand."

 

"Jaemin is different. He might think he's still in love with Hansol, but he's just heartbroken. He'll come around."

 

Jeno smiled at him, taking his hand. "You're a lot different than him."

 

"Everyone is different.”

 

Jeno nodded. "Happy New Years, by the way."

 

"You too." They kissed each other. 

 

 

 

 

Jeno didn't know when but he figured Renjun was plotting something. During the last few weeks of January, he hadn't been spending time with him. He's been spending more time with Mark. 

 

Jaemin didn't ask much about his relationship with Renjun and he guessed that it had something to with the fact he lost his songbook. Jeno told him that he would ask Renjun, but Jaemin wanted to take his own actions. 

 

 

 

When Jaemin came back from his classes, he was determined to get his songbook back. 

 

He showed up to Renjun's class without notice and walked up to him. 

 

"I know that you stole my songbook.”

 

"What songbook?"

 

"Give me my songbook back."

 

"I don't even know what you are talking about Jaemin.” 

 

Jaemin stared at him for a moment before sighing. It wasn’t like he hated Renjun or anything. He knew that Renjun stole his songbook and he wanted it back. It was an important item that he had treasured almost all his life. He wasn’t going to let Renjun take that away from him. 

 

“Renjun, I know you’re lying. If I look through every inch of your dorm, I bet I could find it.”

 

Renjun stood up and faced him. They both stared at each other. 

 

“I’ll give it back once you leave Jeno alone.”

 

“What does he have to do with anything? Stop bringing other people into this mess.”

 

Renjun smirked at him. “Jeno is part of our business. He may be your best friend, but he’s mine and you can’t take him away from me.”

 

Jaemin stared at him. “I was wrong about you. I don’t even know why Jeno is dating a trash like you. I would have guessed he had better tastes. You’re seriously disgusting.”

 

Renjun laughed at that. “Says the one who’s ing with him behind my back.”

 

Jaemin walked away from him. “Fine, whatever you think. I’ll leave him to you but just know that your life will never go the way you want it to.” 

 

Renjun pushed Jeno against the wall and kissed his lips and Jeno kissed him back with just as much passion. Renjun closed his eyes and Jeno trailed his lips on his collarbone and neck. It’s been weeks since they’ve last done it and Renjun wanted to be able to have Jeno by side before he digs a hole for himself during final week. 

 

Jeno’s phone suddenly rang. Jeno pulled back to check his phone. “Sorry.”

 

Renjun can see Jaemin’s name on the caller ID and frowned. Jeno shut his phone off before pulling Renjun on the bed. Once Jeno took his shirt off, he noticed a tattoo that he didn’t pay attention to before but didn’t think much of it. 

 

After they were done, Renjun slept on Jeno’s chest. Jeno was deep asleep and didn’t notice Jaemin texting him. Renjun looked at his boyfriend before reaching for his phone. 

 

From Jaeminnie

-I won’t be at the dorm when you come back. 

 

Renjun sighed and put the phone down, but Jeno’s ing tattoo was bothering him. He gently lifted up Jeno’s arm to see a birthdate tattoo. It was small and most people wouldn’t pay attention to it if they didn’t look at it. When did Jeno get a new tattoo? He looked at the tattoo closely. 8/13/00. It had never dawned on him that Jeno would ever have someone else’s birthdate on his body. He went back to lying down on the bed, turning his body the other way. It took him sometime to really understand the birthdate because their were only 2 other people who was born in the same year that he knew. He slowly closed his eyes, realizing that Jeno would never love him as much. He would never name his name tattooed on Jeno’s body. 

 

Jeno woke up to a headache and Renjun wasn’t in the bedroom. He got up and put on his clothes before washing up. He saw Renjun writing something in a notebook on the couch, but once he saw Jeno walk out, he quickly hid it. Jeno found that really suspicious and weird. 

 

“What are you writing?”

 

Renjun quickly got up and smiled at him, ignoring the question. “You’re up. I made some waffles if you want some.”

 

Jeno just nodded, looking around. “Where is Lucas?”

 

“He’s out with his friends I guess.”

 

Once Jeno was done eating, he said that he’ll be going back to his place and Renjun was fine with it. They kissed each other before separating. When Jeno got back to his dorm, he found the apartment empty and things really untidy. 

 

“Jaemin?” 

 

There was no answer and he reached for his phone to check if Jaemin had texted him. He quickly read Jaemin’s text before calling him. He was sent to voicemail and usually Jaemin would pick up his calls unless something happened. He dialed Chenle’s number. 

 

“Where are you guys?”

 

“Jeno? Oh hey.”

 

“Where did you guys go?”

 

“We’ll be back in few hours. You won’t even know we were gone.” Chenle sounded a bit tipsy or something. Chenle quickly had hung up on the call. Jeno sighed and decided to take a quick shower and work on his papers. Jaemin had arrived back about 4 hours later, even missing his classes. 

 

“Where have you been?” He asked, getting up from the couch.

 

Jaemin fixed up his shirt a bit, looking at him from the corner of his eyes before walking into his room. “I was out.”

 

“Where?”

 

“I was just hanging out with Chenle and the other guys. Not a big deal.”

 

Jeno sighed, going back to finishing his papers before watching some TV. He heard Jaemin turn on the shower and it took him awhile to get out. There was a knock on the door and Jeno reluctantly got up to open it. 

 

It was Yuta. 

 

“Hey do you need some-”

 

“He forgot this,” Yuta held up Jaemin’s jacket. “By the way, he might be a bit moody so I wouldn’t dig into it too much.”

 

Jeno arched his brows. He sniffed the jacket and it smelled like dead rat. Almost like Jaemin had barfed or something. “Did something happen that I need to know?”

 

“No. You don’t need to know anything. It’s just between me and the guys.”

 

“The guys?” Jeno was getting more anxious. What the did Jaemin do and what did he do? “If you don’t tell me what happened, I’m going to ask Chenle.”

 

Yuta just smiled. “He had the best night of his life while you were ing Renjun. You don’t even give a damn.” With that, Yuta left. 

 

Jeno threw the jacket into the laundry basket, hearing Jaemin walk out. Jeno glanced at him briefly before going back to watching TV. 

 

“Hey,” Jaemin said, sitting down next to him. 

 

“So mind telling me what’s up?”

 

Jaemin suddenly got up. “On second thought, I forgot something.” He quickly put on his shoes, but Jeno was in his way. 

 

“You’re not leaving until you tell me where you went.”

 

“And why would I need to tell you? This isn’t any of your business.” 

 

“Why are you being like this? Hiding things from me? You used to tell me everything Jaemin.”

 

Jaemin just looked at him. “Jeno, just get out of the way.”

 

Jaemin didn’t return until it was night time. He decided to sleep on the couch because he didn’t want to wake Jeno up. He always slept in the bedroom with Jeno, but today, he felt like they needed the time apart. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he heard the bathroom door opening, knowing Jeno was probably taking a piss. He slowly got up, realizing that it was useless to sleep. Jeno was probably upset with him for what happened earlier and he didn’t want to deal with him asking so many questions. It wasn’t like he was trying to hide something, he just wanted to keep to himself, hoping that Jeno would understand. Like some things are meant to be told. 

 

He got up to get some water and heard Jeno walking outside. 

 

“You’re back.”

 

“Hey,” Jaemin said. 

 

Jeno stared at him, slowly leaning on the counter. “You know it wouldn’t hurt to tell me where you’ve been.”

 

Jaemin looked away, biting his lips. And then he suddenly turned to see Jeno studying him, like he was looking through his soul. It gave him chills. “I’m sorry. I called you but I forgot you were with Renjun and didn’t pick up my call.”

 

“Oh yeah.” Jeno looked a little guilty.

 

Jaemin put his hands on the table, sighing. “Don’t get mad. It’s just Yuta and Ten invited me to go the bar. I did some things I regret.”

 

Jeno reached over and brushed his hair back, understanding. “It’s okay.”

 

Jaemin sighed, turning away. “Anyways, you should go back to bed.” 

 

“Okay.” Jeno turned to go back to bed, not looking to see if Jaemin was going to follow him. Jaemin didn’t follow him. 

 

Jaemin opened his eyes to see Jeno standing in front of him. Jaemin slowly sat up, pulling down his shirt that had risen during his sleep. Jeno had a cup of water in his hands, all dressed up and hair combed back. 

 

“Drink some. I have to walk Renjun to class right now.”

 

“Okay.” Jaemin gulped down the water just before Jeno made it out the door. He quickly got up and changed. He had class today and he wasn’t going to be late. Once he done showering and brushing his teeth, he threw on whatever he could find. 

 

He saw Yuta waiting for him in his car when he got out. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“How do you feel?”

 

Jaemin just shrugged. “Fine I guess.”

 

“Did you tell Jeno?”

 

“Kinda. He just doesn't know the whole story but he doesn’t even need to know what really happened.”

 

Jaemin doesn’t want Jeno to know that he had drank last night with some of the guys and literally vomited on himself at the end of the night, but he guessed Jeno would somehow put it all together. Last night was so fun, yet so messy at the same time. Ten and some of guys told him not to come to the bar at all since Hansol was there but he had already convinced Sicheng to take him and Chenle. He wanted to see Hansol again and he didn't care what people said. Chenle and Sicheng accompanied him to make sure he was okay. He drank so much last night and he couldn't even remember what he did. When morning came around, he had woken up in Hansol’s car and Hansol helped him out together. He felt kinda bad that Hansol witnessed what he did, but Hansol never judged him for anything. When he had asked Hansol if he had done anything to him, Hansol just smiled and said that he didn’t need to worry about anything but himself. Ten and Yuta got pretty mad but Hansol yelled at Ten for trying to take Jaemin away. 

 

Jaemin came back to the dorm when it was night time since he had to study all day in the library after his classes, he didn't see Jeno. He didn't mind as he put his stuff down and took a nap on the couch. When he woke up a while later he noticed that Jeno was lying next to him with his head against the crook of his neck. 

 

Jaemin slowly got up but Jeno pulled him down, hugging his shoulder. “Where are you going?”

 

Jaemin ignored the question. “When did you get back?”

 

“Awhile ago. I wanted to snuggle and sleep with you.”

 

“Where’s Renjun?”

 

“In his dorm, why?”

 

“Snuggle with him instead.”

 

Jeno looked up at him, caressing his cheeks. “I miss you. I miss my best friend and my roommate so much. I miss just being with him and having him around. I miss everything.”

 

“Well you're always with Renjun and I’m just doing my thing you know.”

 

“What do you even do? You're with Chenle all the time and I don't even know where you're at most the time. Haechan says that you don’t even see him anymore.”

 

“Look I’m sorry. I’ve just got things going on.”

 

Jeno just hummed, suddenly getting up. “I just feel like I don’t ever see you much. When you’re not so busy, call me up and let’s talk.” With that, Jeno went to go wash up. Jaemin sighed, closing his eyes. Everything just didn’t feel right and this which his whole Hansol thing, it was messing up with his mind. He wanted to let Jeno know, it’s just that it didn’t feel right at the moment. 

 

Jeno got out of class early and headed over to Chenle’s dorm. He knocked on the door and Chenle went to open it up. 

 

“Jeno hey what are you doing here?”

 

“I need to know something. Care to talk?”

 

Chenle looked around and pulled Jeno in, closing the door behind him. “Look Jeno, you came at the wrong time. I actually have to leave-“

 

“Chenle, you skipped music today. And on Tuesday too. What’s going on?”

 

Chenle look exasperated, like there was something holding him back from saying what he needed to say. “Jeno, I’m sorry-“

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Doyoung got into a fight with the other guys  or not really a fight but something happened. It wasn’t about Jaemin, but it was over Hansol. They want to keep him away from Jaemin but Doyoung found out that he went to the bar and went crazy. And even and Ten, Yuta and Sicheng is in trouble for knowing that Jaemin was there.”

 

“What exactly happened at the bar?”

 

“Jaemin just got super drunk and Hansol took care of him. It was a one time thing but Hansol isn’t innocent. He’s quite dangerous and that is why I always have to accompany him in case nothing bad happened.”

 

Jeno nodded. “Oh okay. I haven’t heard from Doyoung about any of this…”

 

The door opened and Sicheng walked in, looking at Jeno quite surprised. 

 

“Hey Jeno.”

 

“Hey.”

 

Sicheng leaned down to kiss Chenle on the cheek while Chenle continued to talk. “Sicheng and Doyoung are talking to Ten and the others about Hansol. It’s kinda a crazy mess and Sicheng just wants me to help.”

 

Sicheng grabbed Jeno’s shoulder. “It’s mostly my fault for letting him go and Doyoung is gonna kill me.”

 

“Okay thanks for telling me.”

 

Jeno met up with Mark to eat lunch. While they were eating, Mark talked about Hyuck being moody. 

 

“Why is he like that?”

 

“I don’t really know. He has a lot of stuff going on. It seems like he and Jaemin got into a fight all he wants to do hang out his leadership crew and study in the library when he’s free.”

 

Jeno nodded. He looked at Mark for a moment. “Do you think Donghyuck is cute?”

 

Mark choked on his water, eyes wide. “Excuse me?”

 

“Just answer me.”

 

“Define cute. Donghyuck isn’t cute, he’s very flirty and touchy.”

 

“But you like that?”

 

Mark scrunched his nose, shaking his head. “Not really. I don’t know why you’re asking me about this.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“By the way, Jaehyun said that Ten is back in town.”

 

“Yeah Chenle said so too but do you know why?”

 

“Hansol. Like I’m not much into their business but they think Hansol is totally wack. He has tattoos everywhere, piercings, and he looks like he could beat you up if you even glance his way.”

 

“That’s scary. How could Jaemin be in love with that freak?”

 

“No idea.”

 

 

 

Jaemin looked up at the sky, turning his window down. He was in the car with Hansol and talking about college and other random things. Jaemin likes these the most. 

 

“School is fine and I’m doing alright you can say. I kinda fell behind when I got a fever so I had to do extra homework to make up for it.”

 

Hansol laughed and patted his head. “I hated school you know. I wasn’t smart and I hated teachers trying to make us think that their way of teaching is how we should learn the material. I was always a slow learner but teachers make it hard it for me. I couldn’t even pass calculus.”

 

Jaemin just laughed. “Me too. I at it.”

 

Hansol smiled at him, his teeth all white and clear. Jaemin would even think that all the smoking he does would turn his teeth yellow but no it didn’t. He didn’t find out that Hansol smoked until a few days ago and it wasn’t that surprising honestly. 

 

“Stay in school Jaemin. You can graduate and be a good person, fall in love with someone your age, and have a good life. Don’t be like me. Don’t get messed up like me. Living the way I am. You're worth more than this and I know it too.”

 

Jaemin looked towards him and noticed that Hansol was looking away from him, towards the other window. At times, he pitied Hansol. He had always known Hansol to be a good person, understanding, loving and down to earth. He didn’t know why people didn’t see that in him, instead they just look at his appearance and judge him instantly. 

 

“Doyoung said you shouldn’t see me anymore. It’s best if you don’t.”

 

“Hansol. We’re friends. I don’t care what Doyoung says.”

 

Hansol sighed, throwing his cigarette out the window. “Taeyong is he bothering you?”

 

“Not really. I haven’t seen him for days.”

 

“Taeyong means well. He’s watching out for you just don’t let him get on your nerves. I know that you won’t listen to him but you should. You should stay away from me.”

 

“Never Hansol. Not in this lifetime.”

 

“You never listen huh?”

 

Jaemin bit his lips, thinking about what to say. The thing was, everyone is watching out for him but he doesn’t care. The only person in the world that matters to him at this moment is Hansol and it will probably only be Hansol. No one else can beat his level.  

 

“I love you a lot Hansol and I’m 100% sure you know too.”

 

Hansol suddenly reached to touch his hands just for a second but then decided against it. Hansol looked at him for a long time like there was something he wanted to say but wasn’t sure about it. After some time, Jaemin couldn’t handle the silence any it longer. 

 

“It’s always been you and there’s just no one else that I want to fall in love with.”

 

“What about Jeno?”

 

Jaemin shook his head. “Jeno’s different from you. He’s not you.”

 

“He doesn’t have to be me Jaemin. There are other people who will treat you right and love you. I can’t be that person. I’m sorry.”

 

Jaemin always knew this but it hurts when Hansol says it himself. 

 

“I think it’s getting late. I’ll take you home Jaemin.”

 

“Hansol, what are you really hiding?”

 

“Nothing. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

 

 

 

Jeno was over at Mark’s place studying for the night because Renjun was busy working on a project with some other classmates in his class. All mark was really doing was texting Yeri a lot but he didn’t mind at all. 

 

Donghyuck came back some time later and brought some take out for them to eat but refused to let Mark eat any. 

 

“Okay why? I buy us food all the time and you owe me.”

 

Donghyuck smiled at him, rubbing his chin. “You can share with Jeno because I’m saving this one for Jaemin when he comes back.”

 

“Are you serious?” Jeno asked. 

 

“Yeah I am.”

 

“Why are you being like this?” Mark asked, rounding the corner to stand next to him. “You said you didn’t care about Yeri feeding me when you aren’t.”

 

“I still don’t care okay? She can feed you all she wants but I’m not going to spend my money on you anymore.”

 

Mark rolled his eyes and Jeno just stared at them, confused as heck. Mark turned to look at Jeno. “You see? This is what I have to deal with.”

 

“ it up .”

 

“You’re just jealous.”

 

“Sure Whatever makes you sleep at night. I'm going into my room. When you leave Jeno, take that with you and give it to Jaemin.”

 

When Donghyuck was gone, Mark took a deep breath and then he went right back to texting Yeri. Jeno has no idea what that was.

 

Jeno walked back to his apartment and saw Jaemin leaving what seems to be Hansol’s car. He watched them for a moment and when Jaemin walked up the stairs, they made eye contact. Jaemin smiled at him.

 

“Hey.”

 

“You were out with Hansol?”

 

“We were just hanging out.”

 

Jeno walked closer to him and it was the smell that made him flinch. “Hansol’s a smoker and you’re okay with that?”

 

Jaemin stared at him for a moment. “Yeah. It’s not something anyone would be surprised about. Yuta smokes and Sicheng used to smoke. What’s the big deal?” Jaemin walked into the apartment. “I’m gonna go shower.”

 

“Actually, I need to talk to you.”

 

“After my shower okay?”

 

“Chenle told me everything so don’t try and hide what I’m going to ask you.”

 

Jaemin stopped walking, turning to look at him, befuddled. “What do you mean?”

 

“Just about this ongoing situation with Hansol. I know he means a lot to you, but I'd rather you stay away from him.”

 

Jaemin crossed his arms, shaking his head. “I don’t want to. We’ve been over this before.”

 

Jeno stared at him for a long time. “You’re so stubborn. You know I can’t stop you from seeing him but Hansol isn’t who you think he is. I don’t want you to be blinded by love that you don’t see the real Hansol. It’s not just about you seeing him that bothers me, what bothers me that you’re stupid enough to keeping seeing him when everyone else is warning you. Why can’t you just listen?”

 

Jaemin blinked at him, a frown forming on his face. “You never once really looked and got to know Hansol.” Jaemin’s voice was soft but at the same time, it made Jeno’s heart hurt so much because he knew it was the truth. “All you do is listen to what everyone else says. That’s what they all do and they never even give a damn about anything else but that. Words and load of crap can be spreaded. You chose to listen to them and you chose to believe that this Hansol is what you hear about. Hansol this and Hansol that. I’m sick of it. You ing don’t know who he is. You’re the one who is blind and you just don’t get it. Deep down, he’s more than what you’ll ever be Jeno.” Jaemin looked away and opened the apartment door. 

 

Jeno stood at the doorway frozen. His words were something else. Jeno stared at the door for a long moment, letting things sink in before going inside. Jaemin was upstairs getting ready to shower. After a long time, Jaemin came down, hair wet and in his favorite white t-shirt. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno said, reaching for jaemin’s hands. “You’re right. I don’t know who Hansol is.”

 

Jaemin shook his head, opening the rice cooker. “Just forget it.”

 

“Jaemin-“

 

“Jeno just stop. It doesn’t even matter anymore.”

 

There are times when he does go over to Renjun’s dorm but he didn’t feel like being around Renjun when his mind was full of Jaemin and Jaemin only. The younger boy was still laying in bed, asleep. Jaemin had refused to cuddle together and Jeno hated it. Slowly, Jeno got up and showered but before he left, he kissed Jaemin on the cheek. 

 

“What’s that for?” Jaemin muttered, eyes still closed. 

 

“I’m still sorry for what I said. Hope you’ll forgive me.”

 

Jaemin didn’t answer just as Jeno left the artpartment. 

 

“Hey man, you feeling okay?” Mark asked, rubbing his shoulder. 

 

“It’s just Hansol. I’ve just been thinking. I feel like I don’t know who he is. Like personally.”

 

“Hansol? If you want to get to know him, talk to Yuta. He’s the only person me that really helps because everyone else just doesn’t dig Hansol.”

 

The thing was, Jeno wasn’t very close to Yuta at all. They know each other, like acquaintances but they aren’t exactly tight and there was something about Yuta that just makes him feel weird. 

 

“Yuta huh? Yeah it’s always Yuta.” 

 

Jeno immediately made a choice and decided to talk to Yuta when he caught him rounding the corner into his dorm. 

 

“Yuta hey.”

 

Yuta turned around and looked at Jeno. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

 

“I need to talk to you.”

 

“It’s about Jaemin right?”

 

Jeno got closer to him. “Please you need to tell me everything. I need to know who Hansol is and what happened at the bar. You showed up in front of my apartment and I knew you have something to do with this. I’m going to talk to Doyoung and Jaehyun and ask them about everything too. Just tell me your story.”

 

Yuta took in a deep breath. “You should really know but Hansol killed someone.”

 

They were inside Yuta’s dorm and Yuta is roommates with Sicheng and Jeno feels like he never really got to know his hyungs because they were all just so busy and doing different things but he feels like now is the best time to get close to everyone. 

 

“Yuta what happened?”

 

Yuta paced back and forth. “You must have heard from Chenle but Ten is back and we weren’t expecting him after so long when Hansol left. Ten and Hansol are a tight bond and they would know everything about each other. The reason Hansol left university was because he needed to get out of this place and he didn’t want anyone going the path he made for himself. Hansol used to be a great guy trust me. He was friendly and super academic with his grades and wanted to get a degree. Things took a turn when his father disowned him for getting someone pregnant. That’s where the rumor about him began. Everyone talked about him before you and Jaemin entered university. Hansol got tattoos and he wanted to take care of his own child, he wanted to be a good person but one day he couldn’t take it anymore and left. He dropped everything, school, friends, a degree. He said he was going crazy because things just didn’t go the way he wanted. His father eventually killed the mother of his child last year. They were never dating but Hansol wanted kids. He got one and he wanted to protect him. He tried so hard to raise the kid by himself and that was where Ten found him. Ten looked for him everywhere. That’s why Ten disappeared. A few months later Hansol killed his father and is on the run. He didn’t talk about where his child is.”

 

Jeno bit his lips, realizing that this was a lot to take in. Hansol really had a messy life. “That’s why he came back? He didn’t want to get caught?”

 

“Yes. I’m mad at Hansol as we all are, but there’s something else wrong with him. I know he’s hiding more things that’s what makes him dangerous. We don’t know everything that’s why Ten and Taeyong are here. They want to warn us and to warn Jaemin to stay away in case he does something we don’t know. Hansol might kill one of us, or he might just kill himself. He threatened to kill Ten once.”

 

Jeno swallowed. “Who was there at the bar?”

 

“Chenle, Sicheng, me, Ten and of course there was Hansol. Taeyong arrived a little bit later.”

 

Jeno nodded and turned away when Yuta got a phone call. “Look I have to meet up with the guys. You should go back to your place.”

 

Jeno nodded. “Okay thank you all of this.” Jeno walked all the way to Renjun’s dorm just to see what he was up to. The dorm room was unlocked so he decided to invite himself in. He found a small pink notebook on the couch and flipped over the pages. The back of it said Na Jaemin’s songbook. Jeno closed his eyes, rubbing his temple. There’s just so much going on. He heard Renjun walk in and before he could talk, Renjun rushes over and grabbed the book.

 

“Jeno, what are you doing here?”

 

“You stole Jaemin’s book?”

 

“That is none of your business.” 

 

Jeno grabbed his shoulder to stop him walking away. “Just what are you Renjun? Why do you hate Jaemin so much?”

 

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that obvious? I never liked him and I don’t think I ever will like him.”

 

“If he was wasn’t my best friend, would you hate him?”

 

Renjun didn’t say anything. Jeno slowly walked away, shaking his head. There was a lot to take in. “I think it’s time we break up Renjun. Give Jaemin back his book and when you get over yourself and whatever grudge you have against my best friend, let’s talk.” Before Jeno could leave, Renjun threw his shoe at him. 

 

“Do you know why this happened, huh?” Renjun was mad, blinking so hard to the point he had to close his eyes for a few seconds. “He’s all you cared about and I get it, he’s your best friend and you’re probably in love with him and not me. It’s never gonna be me. I gave you so many chances, I gave you my heart and you tore it apart. You ed with Jaemin behind my back and you never told me the truth. You’re so gross I swear. You have his name birth date tattooed on your body and you cheated on me but I still liked you. This isn’t about me, but it’s all you Jeno. You haven’t figured yourself out.”

 

Jeno sighed, looking down. “I’m sorry about cheating on you.”

 

Renjun groaned. “Nothing you say will make it better. I was hurting this whole time but that all never mattered. I’m just a person and I have feelings too and you never gave a about me. If anyone were to break up in this relationship, it’s me. So just get out.”

 

Jeno was going to say something, but he couldn’t. What could he say now?

 

Things started getting terrible and Mark was frustrated with his schoolwork plus a Donghyuck who keeps annoying him. Jeno was in their apartment when Mark was studying for his upcoming test and he would rather not be bothered but Jeno was getting restless. 

 

“Mark, is there something going on with you and Hyuck?”

 

Mark looked up and shrugged. “He’s just my roommate.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

Mark bit his lips. “I mean, what would you expect? You live with Jaemin and I’m pretty sure you see him shirtless many times. I go around this place shirtless all the time and Donghyuck just looks pissed every time he sees me but then he has a load of things to do. And we probably cuddled more than I can count.”

 

“You guys cuddled?”

 

Mark shrugged. “He likes doing that. I don’t mind it.”

 

“Do you like him?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Jeno nodded. “Renjun and I are over.”

 

Mark tilted his head. “You did cheat on him. Multiples times and he’s an to Jaemin, but you did hurt him. He’s my friend and honestly I wished you guys didn’t date.”

 

Jeno sighed. “I really liked him you know. I truly did.”

 

Mark was about to say something but there was a loud knock on the door. Jeno and Mark instantly got up and opened the door to see Sicheng and Chenle, panick in their faces. 

 

“What is happening?”

 

Chenle suddenly burst into tears. “Guys, the cops are after Hansol.”

 

“Jeno, I need you to stop Jaemin. He’s still with Hansol and we can’t get a hold of him. Ten and Taeyong are tracking down Hansol everywhere.”

 

Jeno quickly slipped on his shoes while Mark grabbed his jacket. “I’m going too. I want to make sure things will be okay,” Mark said. Mark followed Sicheng and Chenle to their car and together they rode to where Taeyong and Ten were. It was hours of driving around and meeting up with Ten and Taeyong until Yuta finally called them. 

 

“Guys, I found Hansol. We’re in front of the bar, Hansol’s work place.”

 

They drove down there which was half an hour drive and Jeno jumped out of his car when the cops were chaining up Hansol. Jeno had time letting things sink into is brain about the whole situation. He can see how scared Sicheng and everyone else is. Jeno immediately went to look for Jaemin who was crying in Yuta’s arms. It wasn’t even a moment later when they heard Hansol fighting with the cops. 

 

“Just shoot me. Prison isn't worth it.”

 

“We can’t do that sir.”

 

“Do it you whimp.”

 

The cops pushed Hansol again and Hansol suddenly kicked the cop in the face and grabbed their gun. Before everyone knew it, Hansol fell to the ground and everyone was too shocked to do anything. Hansol had ultimately shot himself. The gun shot was as loud as anything. 

 

Chenle started crying and Ten and Taeyong broke down. Johnny was in disbelief. Sicheng hugged Chenle so tightly while Jeno and Mark was dumbfounded at what had happened. Mark didn’t move an inch. Jaemin was frozen while Yuta ran to see Hansol. Jeno pulled a crying Jaemin towards him while they just stared at Hansol. There was so much going on at once and too much blood and too much memory. Jeno was also heartbroken. 

 

 

 

 

A week later

 

Everyone had gotten the news about Hansol’s death and when Donghyuck found out, he refused to leave Jaemin’s side and he once heard them talking and Jaemin sobbing in his room for a whole day. Mark was just as lost as he was Doyoung and Jaehyun also seemed so shocked since they were the ones that got the news last. They all met up at Ten’s place, Yuta, Taeyong, Sicheng, Chenle, Mark, Donghyuck, Johnny, and even Lucas. Ten told everyone about Hansol’s real past and story and situation. Donghyuck choked out a sob and asked him where his daughter was and Ten had no idea. 

 

“I will have to find that out. Hansol never talked about it.”  

 

They all huddled together and said that they didn’t know this would happen, they all never wanted this to happen to Hansol. Ten and Taeyong always wanted to Hansol to be a better person. Jeno and Jaemin didn’t talk to the older  guys much but Mark made a attempt to get close to them. Jaemin got tired and demanded to leave Ten’s place before going head out and sobbing once more on the porch.

 

“Jaemin, this is what Hansol would have wanted. You’re gonna be okay.”

 

Jaemin shook his head. “I can’t and I won’t.”

 

“What are you gonna do now Jaemin? Now that he’s gone?”

 

Jaemin sighed and snuggled against his neck, just breathing him and out. “It’s hurts so bad Jeno.” Jeno wrapped his arms around. Everyone was still super shocked but they were going to get through this. 

 

They went home together while everyone else stayed back to eat some take out that Sicheng ordered. Jaemin laid on top of Jeno on the couch while they watched some old movies that Hansol loved.

 

“I know that I didn’t get to see who Hansol really is. You were right, I always believed in those nasty rumors about him. I know that you loved him a lot and it was never my decision to change your mind. I don’t think I could ever really understand why you loved him because you know him way better than me. I’m just glad that you’re safe and that you’re here.”

 

Jaemin smiled bitterly. “He was really something else.”

 

“He was.”

 

They were quiet for a long time until Jeno spoke up. “Renjun and I broke up. He knew that I cheated on him but he still stayed with me. I’m the tiest person on the planet. I haven’t really apologized yet, I wouldn’t know what to say.”

 

“Renjun came to talk to me, Jeno. He gave me my songbook back and said he was sorry about Hansol’s death. I still don’t like him. I probably will never like him.”

 

Jeno sighed and leaned down to kiss his forehead. 

 

 

 

It was a month later when Jeno finally talked to Renjun again. They have been ignoring each other for the longest time and Jeno decided it was time to talk things through and be honest to himself and to Renjun. 

 

Jeno has called Renjun if they could meet up and Renjun reluctantly agreed. They met up on campus, a place where most people don’t go to. They both sat on the bench and the first thing Jeno did was buy him lunch. 

 

“I thought you’d be hungry. You usually get hungry at this time.”

 

Renjun sighed. “I do.”

 

Jeno faced him and looked into his eyes. “The past month was very hard you know. For Jaemin and Mark and everyone. The hyungs had a hard time too while they were also balancing with their classes. Hansol’s death was so sudden it took us awhile to really understand it. And I was having a hard time. I took some time to look back into our relationship and I was terrible to you, terrible to myself. I cheated on you when I shouldn’t have, I continuously fooled around even though I was dating you. That’s something you shouldn’t forgive me for. I’m sorry Renjun. You’re Mark’s friend and also someone I did care for. You’re a person just like everyone else.”

 

Renjun was silent, looking down at his hands. “I’m sorry too. For being a to Jaemin. I’m sure you love him.”

 

Jeno nodded. “I care for him more than anything.”

 

Renjun looked up at him. “What you did was messed up Jeno. What I also did was ed up, but relationships are so ing stupid I swear. You do the dumbest things. If you love Jaemin, be with him. He’s yours. Protect him and care for him, love him and listen to him. That’s all I can say.”

 

“I’m sorry Renjun.”

 

Renjun shook his head and stood up. “I’m still mad at you because you’re also ed up and I know you’re going through a lot, I am too but I don’t say it. I have to go. I’ll see you around.” Renjun left and Jeno rubbed his temples. He really needed to figure things out. 

 

Things seemed to get back to normal and Ten and Taeyong has left the city without telling anyone anything, Yuta and Johnny started clubbing more with Lucas. Mark and Donghyuck still fight all the time but Jeno never really asks about them anymore. Jaemin focused more on his school work while Jeno was there by his side when he needed it. 

 

It wasn’t until the end of the term when summer was starting for Jeno to realize that Jaemin was getting a lot better and he knows that Jaemin will someday get over Hansol. They still don’t know where they stand in their friendship, something more but always just them. Jaemin started to smile whenever they meet each other’s eyes and maybe together, they’ll figure things out. After all, there’s so much to look forward to. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author’s note: the ending is clearly a rushhh and this fic is clearly a mess. this fic has been in my works for the longest time ever and finally it’s out! this is my longest fic, so much revising and lots of additions and deletions. It’s not the best in any way