Annoying sounds, humid atmosphere under the charade of entertainment. What a place, cliché bore me more. One drink away from causing any consequence “telling everyone what I really think”.

This location is perfect for my deep solution. Intoxicated to forget, not working it seems. Pretty much remembering with every sip I drink to supposedly forget. I’m trying to forget anyway; I will ignore these bleak memories which are flashing beneath my closed eyes.

My life was appalling restricted to one colour black. Great description I would say. Clusters of struggles and fights. Lonely; weak to my own desires and imaginary dreams. Living for me was loathe itself. Thousand questions would hung around me, “what is the point of living?”. No purpose and yet I was able run along this thin fragile thread thanks to music.

Music… my saviour, my only escape. But there is limits isn’t it? At my wits end I dive. Running seemed the option. Vividly I remember the day I run away from my tasteless past. A fresh start I desired….

~~~That Day~~~

Euphoria under false pretence of entertainment. Dancing away to everything. Trying to ignore words, breaths isolating façade from my supposed colour like life.

My parents divorced 2 years leading me to live with my Aunt. Thankful I am for her care. She tried her best to help me in tough times, enough it wasn’t fear and anxiety still hugged me tight each day.

The favourite toy of the school, a laughingstock. It was easy for them to play with my emotion. Gossip phased my ears each day, aching words that would hurt anyone. Human wasn’t even a consideration, to them an object I was. Poker face I would try to maintain to these painstaking days. Fake laughs I would offer to my supposed backstabbing friends who maintain two different faces. I could see through their façade. School was funny.

All of this because of a man, let me precise a boy I feel for. The wrong guy, I admit I loved him, but I was a mere stock to his eyes, which I didn’t realize till late since I was blinded by love. How could I forget such trash and bull of a guy. I still remember how he took advantage of my intoxication surround by his group of friends, used I was. Paralyzed and numb, no one could hear my screams of help. My physique captured on mere devices, a nightmare I awoke to the next day as they sore the walls of the school, everyone looked at me different.

Amusing to be judged as a persona I’m not. I thought why not live as this flock does, reckless, go to the wrong places, fake friends. My defence mechanism to withstand every day’s challenge.

Yet I always dreamt of living a different life. Surrounded by music and dance. Music was my best friend; every beat and small effect would make me smile. One singer in particular always caught my eye, I’d listen to his creations all the time. His name? “G- dragon”, his songs were delightful sensation to my ears. He had a threatening effect on me, I treasured it maybe because I found myself in his songs.

After long torment and false hope, I decided to run from it all. A note left to my aunt with my appreciation. Reliving to leave everything behind.

~~~~~~

Here I am today still a mess, to extent of killing myself always asking for more. Beautiful sweet and bitter taste run down my oesophagus, with every sip. I feel it my body is giving in more and more. Dangerous was my taste as I raised my hand wanting another fill. Suddenly strange weight stops my motion.

“Isn’t it enough? Do you wish to kill yourself?” A voice incited.

Such low tone caused my body to shiver. I turned to face the origin of the voice curious, but my blurry vision restricted such opportunity. I chose to ignore his remarked words, I raised my other hand to motion the bartender for another fill, stopped in tracks I was again. What is this a prison?

“Let me go! The do you think you are?” I remarked to the stranger trying to get free.

“You are going to kill yourself if you don’t stop, it’s enough. Frankly I wouldn’t like to witness your demise today” He replied nonchalantly.

“Listen I don’t know who the hell you are, I decide when it’s enough don’t try to act like you are so worthy when you are oozing of intoxication yourself.” I said freeing myself from his binding.

Laughter ringed in my ears. As I tried to pack my stuff and leave.

“'It’s funny isn't it, life, can be a burden at times, there are things you want forget.” Such words hit right at my core, motionless I listened further. “Pains, Sufferings. I’m trying to forget such seduced by this sweet and bitter taste, I might even look like a fool, so responsible but what can I say, this is the only way.” He further said. Absorbing his words were, since I perfectly understood where he was coming from.

I let out a sigh and sat back in position again. “I actually understand you perfectly, I'm doing the same. even though I might kill myself…” I said trying to finish my sentence, but I suddenly start to feel dizzy I felt numb, weak. I fell deep into dark instances, silence bestowed me.

~~~~~~

I woke up with a massive headache still half drunk and found myself in the hand of the stranger. I felt really lightheaded, I tried to catch of glimpse of the surroundings, but my vision was still blurry. “Where am I?” I tried to say, but he didn’t catch on. I become worried as I didn’t know where we were heading to. I’m also to weak to move as well.

Suddenly I could hear a door close shut. For some reason my heart started beating, I was afraid that I would be taken advantage of once again. I’m scared, I want to run, but numbness had its best of me. Why do I always find myself in such situations? What have I done wrong.

The stranger slowly laid me on the sofa, he started covering me with a blanket. I didn’t expect this, I thought he was like everyone else that would take advantage of a fragile girl who is intoxicated. He was different, my heart was at ease now, relieved per say. Lost in my thought I noticed that his figure was slowly becoming distant. No don’t leave I don’t want to be left alone, please stay, to my unheard cries I grabbed his arm stopping him from leaving.

“Please don’t go” I managed to say, tears belittled my pride as they started to flow, it has been a long time I let myself go. I felt vulnerable and miserable. The stranger suddenly hugged me “Let it go cry” he said. Shocking those words were, for the first time someone put my feelings first, the hug was so warm. The first time I felt warmness from a person, the stranger didn’t try to distance himself from me, didn’t judge and hugged me even though I’m a stranger. I felt so secure in the moment I let everything go.

Forever it seemed, I then dis