The minute after dinner goes like this. Joy flashes a meaningful grin at Joohyun. She can still hear Joy's annoying whisper "Go get her, tiger." Her sleazy wink afterward lingers at the back of her mind. The following goes in a few second: Joy drapes her arms on both Yeri and Seulgi, basically dragging them to the front door, not even letting them finishing their meals. A mixed chorus of "Bye moms." and "Don't wait up for us." bounce off the four walls of their living room. A click of the door then it was only the two of them in the dorm. Joohyun and Seungwan on the floor with take out and noise from a rom-com movie on the screen.

Joohyun keep staring at her half eaten bowl of tteokbokki. It was silence saves for the buzzing of the two leads bickering at the background.

"Well, that was fast," Seungwan comments. She did quirks her eyebrows wondering why the others sans her were all dressed up, gobbling the food in a speed of light then whoosh off they goes.

“Kids being kid,” Joohyun shrugs it off, curt and short unlike her racing heart.

It’s only two of them, two friends chilling in the living room.  Joohyun takes her all in. Seungwan’s blonde hair was style half up half down. Few of the strands are sticking out rather messily but Joohyun loves her like this, free from the perfection their career strives for. Just Seungwan in her soft cotton pajamas, face bared of any make up, comfortable and only for her to see.

“Unnie,” Seungwan’s soft voice calls her out, weave with beautiful chuckles.

“You’re staring,” she adds. A gentle smile adorns her face and Joohyun’s melts.

She can feel heat creeping on her cheeks. Joohyun stuff herself with some more tteokbokki to hide her growing embarrassment. She forcibly diverts her attention to the television to prove her point.

“I’m watching the movie.”

Seungwan hums. She can clearly hear the disbelieved despite anything. The fluttering only keeps growing.

Joohyun keep her eyes on the screen, mindlessly munching the food. It tastes uncharacteristically sweet with Seungwan’s knee grazing hers. She can feel deep brown eyes were staring at her. Joohyun steady her heart. She watches a group of friends on the screen are having a small gathering. And, in the midst of it, one of them is gazing at her friend whom is talking animatedly- the life of the party, the one making the crowd erupts in joyous laughter. Her heart throbs as the screen pan out from a pair of longing eyes to a girl with sunshine smile and blissfully oblivious.

The scene is too familiar to Joohyun. It hits too close at home.

Seungwan calls out her name again.

“You have something on your face,” Seungwan points out.

Of course, it’s the cliche sauce at your face scene happen to Joohyun. Joohyun is fluster and boy, she did try to smear off the sauce from her face. But, with Seungwan staring at her and a slight frown making appearance, Joohyun seem to lose any abilities to coordinate her limbs. She totally loses it due to those gentle eyes, blindly reaching her face to locate the stain to no avail.

She felt it all to her bones, her nerve suddenly decided it’s the best time to kick up a notch of their function. Just a small brush of a thumb at the corner of her lips, Joohyun can feel the sensation all to her fingertips. Seungwan’s finger lingers a sec too long and another of her thumb, Joohyun’s heart stop.

“All clear.” Seungwan grins. The curl of her lips mimic a child successfully build her first lego tower, proud and satisfying.  Joohyun gone from feeling devastated to losing her touch to feeling full from such a beautiful smile in a heartbeat.

“T-thanks,” she stutters. Even six years later, when it comes to Seungwan, she can’t help not to feel this massive butterflies.

Joohyun picks up her chopstick again and continue to eat. The tteokbokki is a bit soggy now but Joohyun doesn’t mind. Not when Seungwan is by her side and she has all these butterflies inside of her.

///

Joohyun swears the nights goes by extra slow tonight. She should be tired, exhausted by the eventful day. They even start their schedule for the day early. The orange hue of sunrise peeking through lines of lush green from the window of the car still fresh in her memory. The image of Seungwan gazing out to the scene, humming to a song lives in her mind rent free, accurately vivid in contrast to the blurring of the gorgeous backdrop.

Joohyun toss around on her bed. Somehow the purple sheet and lilac wall of her bedroom does not excite her anymore. She’s thinking of painting her room blue. She doesn’t have to wonder why though.

Blue because it's her color. Blue is her. Blue is in the room next to her and she wants nothing more than to tear down the wall separating them.

So, Joohyun do the next logical thing she can think, or not think of. She padded the hall and found herself standing at the open door of Seungwan's room.

Blue wall and baby blue sheet welcomes her, soft and inviting. And, leaning against the headboard, glasses perch on cute button nose, her favourite shade of blue, Shon Seungwan, with tongue poking out in concentration. Even 5-feet apart, Joohyun can hear the whirring of her brain working to solve what seems like a Sudoku problem from worn pages. It’s such Seungwan things to do to engage in brain exercise long into the night. The room is dark save from the dim light from mood lamp on the bedside table. Joohyun remembers giving it to Seungwan on last February and small smile slips on her face. Flashes of white snow, pastel coral ocean, birthday song, and concert tour miles from Seoul comes to her mind. Despite the zero-degree temperature, it’s the feeling she remember the most- at home, warm like hot chocolate, soft blanket and little giggles.

“Unnie, what are you doing?” Seungwan’s voice softly breaking her reverie. Joohyun might have stare quite a bit because she misses the younger putting her book down. Sequence of numbers long forgotten, not when a raven-haired girl, leader of the nation girl group, best woman of this generation and the sole owner of her heart standing in front of her room. White tee clads her small frame and Seungwan wants nothing more than to shield her from the harsh world.

“Can’t sleep.” It’s the weariness that slip and the fidgeting hands on clean white fabric made Joohyun say it.

“Come here.”  Gentle hand patting on the tight space of blue sheet bed. A tender smile forming on Seungwan’s lips, so genuine and it’s all for her. And, Joohyun found herself rushes in to close their distance, straight to open arms. She could be embarrassed with how swift she ran to Seungwan but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

Not a bit when the scents of summer breeze, daisies and everything soft waft out from worn out button up and smooth skin. Not when perfectly sculpture collarbone peeking out under unlatched button. Not when beautiful brown locks tickle her buried face. Not when there’s strong arm around her waist, firm and sure. And, especially not when she feels like she’s finally home right here with Seungwan by her side.

Joohyun buries her face at the crook of Seungwan’s neck. And, when Seungwan tighten her hold, pulls her closer stills, she thought her heart malfunction. If Seungwan felt the texture of Joohyun’s lips curling upward, breathing a content sigh on her flush skin, she didn’t comment on it.

“Are you okay, unnie?” Her voice is tender, warm and caring. And, for Joohyun, always a little bit more so and how could Joohyun not greedily want something more. 

The faint sound of Seungwan’s heartbeat gives her an oddly comforting sensation. Forever is a long time but she can’t help to foolishly hope for this moment to stay a little bit l