They say you never forget your first love. 

 

But here she was, apologizing profusely to the girl she just ran into, to the girl she hasn’t yet recognized.

 

“Jennie?” Their hands touched in the flurry of the mess of papers sprawled all over the ground. Jennie felt something like ice shoot up her arm from the contact.

 

She looked up to meet eyes with the girl in front of her. She looked familiar, but Jennie couldn’t pinpoint where she knew the girl.

 

“It’s Jisoo?” The other girl says as if it’s concerning that Jennie doesn’t recognize her by now. They both stand up, exchanging folders they dropped during the collision. 

 

They were standing outside the boss’ office, Jennie just having gotten out to do some assistant duties. She looked at the other girl who wore a suit. 

 

Jennie paused before pointing at Jisoo. “Are you Mr. Lee’s three o’clock appointment?” She didn’t notice the flash of emotion passing through the other girl’s face.

 

“Y-Yes, I am.”

 

Jennie gave her a wide smile, assuming her job title. “He is ready to see you.” She knocked on the door and opened it for her. 

 

Jisoo wordlessly entered the office, not even turning to give Jennie a last look.

 

Jennie scratched her head. Her whole body shivered as she thought about how familiar this Jisoo girl was. Where had she seen her before? Where would she know her from? 

 

 

Jennie had woken up in a sweat.

 

She threw off her sheets and sat on the edge of the bed, collecting her hazy thoughts.The dream she just experienced gave her a deep sense of emptiness. 

 

Jennie looked around her dark room, her eyes landing on her clock.

 

3:00am

 

She rubbed her tired eyes before getting up to grab a glass of water from her bathroom. She flicked on the lights and grimaced at the brightness. 

 

Jennie stared at her reflection. The bags under her eyes have intensified and she had slept in her make up again. 

 

Her mind wandered back to her dream. An old lady had appeared to her on a bridge, telling Jennie she can grant her a wish. Of course she couldn’t deny the opportunity, it was just a dream after all.

 

Jennie had wish that she could forget the past year.

 

She scratched her head as she the water faucet. She suddenly couldn’t remember why she wished to forget the year. Maybe her wish really came true.

 

Jennie shook her head, coming to the conclusion that it was all just a silly, hazy dream.

 

 

Jisoo was instantly hired after her appointment with Mr. Lee. She befriended her new cubicle mate, Chaeyoung, pretty quickly. 

 

They were on their lunch break, talking about their plans for the weekend when Jennie waltzed by. Chaeyoung noticed Jisoo’s traveling eyes.

 

“That’s my girlfriend, Jennie.” Jisoo can almost hear the smirk in Chaeyoung’s tone. “Gorgeous, isn’t she?”

 

Jisoo’s heart iced up. Girlfriend?

 

She hadn’t replied for quite some time, so Chaeyoung placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad that you were checking her out.” 

 

Jisoo finally turned to her at this. She forced an awkward smile on her face while trying to convince herself to forget this moment ever happened.

 

She hadn’t seen Jennie in years. It would make sense that she had moved on, right? What didn’t quite make sense to her was Jennie acting like she didn’t know who she was.

 

Jisoo forked at her salad, suddenly losing her appetite. She choked out her next words. “How long have you been together?”

 

Chaeyoung pondered a bit before she took a bite of her sandwich. “Around the time I started working here, so about six months?”

 

Jisoo tried to smile again. It wasn’t fair to think that things would be the same after everything that’s happened between her and Jennie.

 

 

Jennie slammed her locker again for the tenth time that week, it seemed like. She was sick of seeing Jisoo making out with the school’s dumb jock. It was such a cliché.

 

She held her textbooks to her chest and rushed to the bathroom, feeling nauseous and sick. This wasn’t healthy, the way she felt about Jisoo was ruining her.

 

The door opened right behind her and a voice followed. “Jennie, are you alright?” 

 

Jennie felt like she was cursed really. She was in love with her best friend, and what was worst was that Jisoo knew. 

 

“Hey.” Jennie felt a warm hand wrap around her wrist, feeling spun around. “What’s wrong?”

 

Jennie deadpanned. “You. You know it’s always you.”

 

Jisoo let out a laugh, nervous or not, none of them could tell. “How are you not over me yet?” 

 

Jennie spun around, clawing at her own hair out of frustration. “I don’t know! I wish I was!”

 

For a moment it felt like the outside world stood still, and the only frame happening was the two of them in that bathroom. 

 

“When are you going to admit it?” Jennie whispered, anticipating the reply.

 

A pause. “Admit what?”

 

A beat. “That you’re afraid.”

 

Jennie thought her heart was thumping so loudly that it could be heard from outside this bathroom. 

 

She dared to look at Jisoo. She studied every inch of her face, just in case this was the last time she got to see her this close up. Jennie was sure Jisoo would hate her after this.

 

“Then why don’t you kiss me like you want to?”

 

 

Jennie wrapped an arm around Chaeyoung’s shoulder. They were walking back to Jennie’s place. 

 

A gust of wind blew by and Jennie got a waft of an unfamiliar (familiar?) perfume. She looked at her girlfriend. 

 

“Are you wearing a new perfume?”

 

Chaeyoung shrugged, sniffing at her sweater. “Must be lingering from when I gave Jisoo a hug goodbye.”

 

That girl again, Jennie thought. 

 

“A hug? Should I be worried?” Jennie joked, tightening her grip on Chaeyoung.

 

The other girl let out a laugh that echoed in the quiet night. “I’m pretty sure she has the hots for you.”

 

 

Chaeyoung was sprawled out on Jennie’s bed, in blissful heaven. 

 

“Be right back!” Jennie shouted over her shoulder as she rushed to her bathroom. Chaeyoung heard the shower turning on, groaning since she knew Jennie took forever getting out of there.

 

She slumped over the bed, inadvertently staring into the space under the bed. The single shoe box piqued her interest. Chaeyoung glanced over at the bathroom door before she slid the box out from under the bed.

 

She set the box on her lap and opened it slowly. On top was a polaroid camera sitting on a stack of developed photos. Chaeyoung sifted through, noticing a few people here and there, laughing at the pictures Lisa, their other best friend, had been in.

 

These seemed to be photos from before they met and started dating.

 

She was ready to close the box when a photo fell out from a small envelope attached to the roof of the box. 

 

Chaeyoung stared closely at the picture, it was blurry and obviously taken in the dark, but she recognized the people in it. 

 

Jisoo was smiling wide while Jennie kissed her cheek. 

 

The sound of the shower turning off made Chaeyoung jump and scramble to throw the box back under the bed. Jennie walked out with a towel wrapped around her body, drying her wet hair.

 

“Let’s watch a movie.”

 

Chaeyoung would have to deal with this later.

 

 

Usually the cubicle would be quiet enough to the point where Jisoo can actually hear her own thoughts, but today, Chaeyoung seemed to have developed a pen tapping habit overnight.

 

“Is there something bothering you?”

 

Tap tap. 

Tap tap tap.

Tap tap.

 

Jisoo heard the sound of a chair swiveling, assuming it was Chaeyoung’s, before she too, swiveled around. 

 

“Do you actually know Jennie?”

 

The question took Jisoo by surprise, and it obviously shown on her face, causing Chaeyoung to scramble for an explanation. 

 

“I-I mean, I found a picture of you two, in Jennie’s room.” Chaeyoung watched carefully as Jisoo mulled over her words. She couldn’t tell what emotions washed over the older girl’s face, but it didn’t look good.

 

“I did.”

 

Chaeyoung’s stare lingered for a second. It didn’t seem like Jisoo was going to say anything more about this. 

 

Chaeyoung wasn’t stupid. She knew what two exes looked like. What bothered her was that Jennie had never mentioned an old girlfriend. And had kept a photo of them tucked away in her room. 

 

Jisoo’s next words threw her off. “Has she mentioned me?” 

 

“No, actually.” Chaeyoung thought back this past week that Jisoo’s been here. Jennie acted like she always does, and not once did she mention meeting someone from her past. 

 

With a firm nod and an obviously fake smile, Jisoo turned around to finish her report. Chaeyoung flipped back to her own desk, wondering how she could ask Jennie about all of this.

 

 

Jisoo was washing her hands when the office bathroom door swung open. She was sure she locked the door.

 

“Oh, I didn’t think anyone would be in here.”

 

It felt like the blood pumping throughout Jisoo’s body just chose to collectively stop all at once. She was standing immensely close to Jennie in this tight spaced bathroom. 

 

They locked eyes and Jisoo would never admit it since it was such a sick cliché, but she felt entranced. The pull towards her was insane, and she couldn’t help but just close the distance.

 

“Whoa there.” Jennie quickly threw her hands up, awkwardly hovering over Jisoo’s shoulders. “I’m with Chaeyoung.”

 

Jisoo’s stare didn’t waver, but her voice betrayed her. “Did you really forget about me?”

 

She could see Jennie try really hard to think of how she would know Jisoo. After a while, she watched as Jennie just shrugged, taking a small step back. 

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

The walls felt like they were closing in on her and it suddenly felt very suffocating being in a small space with Jennie, her very first love. 

 

She walked past a confused Jennie and pushed the door open to make her escape. 

 

 

Chaeyoung paced around Jennie’s room, waiting for her to get back from the grocery store. She wanted to get this over with and question her about her past relationships. 

 

The front door opened and she could hear Jennie hollering that she has returned. 

 

Chaeyoung entered the kitchen, standing nervously behind the counter as she watched Jennie unpack. 

 

“So I was thinking burgers tonight. Can you cut the onions? You know how I feel about cutting them.”

 

Chaeyoung cleared . “I have something to ask.” Jennie set down the last of the soup cans onto the counter and gave her full attention.

 

She held up the polaroid of Jennie with Jisoo. Jennie squinted at it, reaching out for it so she can give it a closer look.

 

Chaeyoung watched as something seemed to click in Jennie’s mind. She could almost hear the gears shifting around. 

 

All of a sudden, Jennie was clutching the side of her head. She let out a pained groan, gripping the edge of the counter to hold her up before Chaeyoung rushed to her side.

 

“What’s wrong?!”

 

After another sharp shooting pain, everything went black.

 

 

Jisoo was whole heartedly, cheesily in love with Jennie, and she was deathly afraid of it.

 

She couldn’t handle the concept of losing something so great in your life one day. So she’s always tried to keep true happiness at an arm’s length. 

 

She always kept Jennie at an arm’s length.

 

They were now in college, a year has already past since their kiss in the high school bathroom that started it all.

 

Their relationship was never labeled, but they might as well have been considered exclusive (girlfriends). 

 

It freaked Jisoo out to her core. She was constantly anxious and nervous, and it was slowly eating away at her day by day. She knew it wasn’t going to be fair to herself to stay in a relationship that scared her.

 

She knew it wasn’t going to be fair to Jennie. Jennie deserved to be with someone who would give their all courageously with no trace of fear whatsoever.

 

So she left a note on the pillow from her now empty side of the bed. 

 

 

A knock on the hospital door stirred Jennie awake from her drugged up slumber. Turns out, she had some strange fluid build up in her ear that was encroaching on her brain.

 

It sounded a lot scarier than it actually was. (But she’s sure that strange fluid was suppressing memories of a certain someone.) 

 

The door opened to reveal a timid Jisoo. Many emotions flooded back to Jennie. It all finally clicked. 

 

“I remembered everything.”

 

Jisoo wordlessly walked up to the hospital bed, reaching out to squeeze Jennie’s arm. “About time you did.”

 

Jennie thinks she could try all the things in the world to forget, but she would always find a way back to Jisoo.

 

“Are you happy?” A pause. “With Chaeyoung?”

 

They say you never forget your first love.

 

“Yes. I’m happy.”

But they never say your first love is also your last.