Hello, this is only half edited, so there very well may be mistakes/inconsistencies in it. I will look back over it and edit it soon so don't worry about that. Enjoy 

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A hot mess

Saturday 5:07 AM

Daddylonglegs: I just want to take a moment to appreciate this beautiful day

Daddylonglegs: The birds are chirping the sun is shining it’s quiet - truly wonderful

Daddylonglegs: We should admire the finer things in life more often

Socialpapillon: The birds are chirping and the sun is shining because it’s 5 IN THE ING MORNING

Sunshine: WHY ARE YOU AWAKE??!!!

Westside: IT’S THE WEEKEND

Certifiedmom: BAMBAM GO THE BACK TO SLEEP

Daddylonglegs: Wow look at all this negativity

Daddylonglegs: This is exactly what I was talking about. Y’all need to calm down and take in nature

Lagangster: Bambam go back to bed and stop spamming that chat rn or I stg

Daddylonglegs: What? What are u going to do?

Lagangster: Do u really wanna find out?

Daddylonglegs: Um yeah that’s why I asked

Lagangster: Yk I like ur laptop

Lagangster: It’s pretty new but it’s got a lot of stuff on it doesn’t it? All your projects and papers from all your classes

Lagangster: Be a shame if something happened to it wouldn’t it?

Daddylonglegs: O

Daddylonglegs: I am not getting another laptop thrown at me esp not my own one

Daddylonglegs: U BETTER NOT TOUCH IT MARK HYUNG

Angryjaw: THEN GO THE BACK TO SLEEP U LITTLE

Daddylonglegs: YUGYEOM WHY AREN’T YOU DEFENDING ME RN?!?! IM BEING ATTACKED

Westside: If u don’t stfu I’m going to be the one doing the attacks

Westside: gOONIGHT

Sunshine: Night everyone. Sleep well

Socialpapillon: NIGHT

Certifiedmom: Night

Lagangster: Bye

Daddylonglegs: U guys do realise u could have just muted the chat instead of listening to me & replying right?

Angryjaw: Bambam I swear to ing god

Daddylonglegs: oK GOODNIGHT

5:41 AM

Certifiedmom: It’s technically morning

Certifiedmom: But whatever

Certifiedmom: Y’all aren’t educated enough to know that

Daddylonglegs: I literally JUST fell asleep

Certifiedmom: Good. Serves u right

Certifiedmom: Enjoy the suffering brat

7:13 AM

Angryjaw: Just saying that when u guys wake up u have my full permission to kill Bambam

Angryjaw: Just don’t do it in public or he’ll make a scene

9:36 AM

Westside: Why were you texting so early hyung? Could you not sleep?

Certifiedmom: He has work today. He started at 8. Prb why he was so pissed with Bam

Westside: Ooooh ok

Westside: Wait y are u awake??

Certifiedmom: I woke up when he left and couldn’t go back to sleep after it

Westside: Aaaawww u couldn’t sleep without ur husband beside u?

Certifiedmom: He’s not my husband u piece of and we don’t even live together

Westside: YET

Certifiedmom: He texted me that’s why I woke up. He didn’t spend the night

Westside: Ur soulmates so it’s only a matter of time b4 u get married and move into a proper house together and have real kids

Certifiedmom: Good then we can replace u

Certifiedmom: Along with Bambam and Jackson

Socialpapillon: Jinyoungie how could u

Westside: How does Jinyoung hyung manage to summon him out of nowhere?

Socialpapillon: Does Wang gae Park gae mean nothing to you?

Certifiedmom: Not after the u pulled last week it doesn’t

Socialpapillon: I thought u already had a partner!! I explained that to u like 50 times!!

Certifiedmom: You betrayed me

Certifiedmom: So now I have to work w/ some rando I’ve never even spoken 2 words to before in my life

Socialpapillon: Then maybe you should socialise more

Certifiedmom: Wow our friendship rly is worthless to u isn’t it?

Socialpapillon: I DIDNT MEAN IT IM SORRY

Socialpapillon: I THOUGHT U ALREADY HAD A PARTNER IN CLASS THATS WHY I WENT WITH TAEIL

Socialpapillon: U KNOW ID PICK U OVER ANYONE ELSE JINYOUNGIE

Certifiedmom: Yeah sure. That’s why u pick to eat with Bambam over me isnt it?

Westside: Omg l e t  i t  g o

Daddylonglegs: Yeah hyung hes taken u out to eat meat lots of times it’s not just me

Certifiedmom: Oh and here comes the other traitor

Daddylonglegs: What did I do?!

Certifiedmom: Pls ur probably smirking ur thin face off whenever u and Jackson eat meat bc u know it annoys me

Daddylonglegs: Ur right I am lol

Certifiedmom: And this is precisely why I am replacing u 3 if me and hyung have kids

Lagangster: What about me?

Certifiedmom: Hhmmm idk about that hyung I’m sorry

Lagangster: Tf

Lagangster: What did I do?

Daddylonglegs: Omg sTOP or he’ll never shut up

Westside: Park Jinyoung’s list of petty incidents knows no limits

Socialpapillon: Leave Jinnie alone u brats

Certifiedmom: Stop trying to win me back it isn’t going to work

Certifiedmom: But having meat together with u for lunch just might

Socialpapillon: Anything for my Park gae

Socialpapillon: Be ready for 1. I’ll show you the biggest most amazing meat you’ve ever seen in ur life

Daddylonglegs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sunshine: Bambam no

Westside: Stop

Lagangster: Can we remove Bambam?

Certifiedmom: Yes

Certifiedmom removed Daddylonglegs from the chat

Lagangster: Much better

Sunshine: Will u replace me hyung?

Certifiedmom: God no

Certifiedmom: Ur literally the only one out of these pieces of trash I would actually keep Youngjae

Lagangster: Again tf did I do??

Westside: Again shut up or Jinyoung hyung never will

Wang gae Park gae <3

11:24 AM

Socialpapillon: Hey there’s this new meat place that opened in the east wing of the mall on the 2nd floor near where hyung works

Socialpapillon: I was thinking we could go there?

Certifiedmom: Sounds good

Certifiedmom: I might stop in at hyung’s on the way out to check our date plans for tonight too

Socialpapillon: Aaaww so cute~

Certifiedmom: I know

Socialpapillon: Oh btw Jinyoungie

Socialpapillon: I know u actually aren’t upset and are just doing this to get meat out of me

Socialpapillon: But I love u so I’m letting it slide

Certifiedmom: Thank u

Certifiedmom: Wang gae <3

Socialpapillon: !!!!

Socialpapillon: Ur very welcome Park gae

 

Parents

12:39 PM

Certifiedmom: Hey hyung~ I’m getting meat with Jackson. I thought I could swing by once we’re done to finalise our plans for tonight??

Certifiedmom: I’d probably be round about 2. Ik your lunch break is finished by then but it’ll only take a moment

1:02 PM

Certifiedmom: Jackson is here now. See you in an hour hyung

1:56 PM

Certifiedmom: Me and Jacks finished up just now. I’m in the store but I can’t see u anywhere. Where are u??

Certifiedmom: Ur manager said ur helping a new employee out for the day. I’m sorry I didn’t know! I’ll leave now

Certifiedmom: Since we couldn’t finalise I guess just come over around 5? We can cook dinner together

Certifiedmom: See u tonight hyung

5:14 PM

Angryjaw: Sorry I’m running late. I won’t be able to make it until like 6

Certifiedmom: That’s ok. What’s happening tho?

Angryjaw: Oh nothing much. We just haven’t had much staff today but I’ve been trying to train the new worker so it’s been a bit chaotic

Certifiedmom: Ah ok I get it lol. Take ur time. Don’t worry about me

Angryjaw: Thanks :)

Angryjaw: See u later baby

Certifiedmom: See you :)

6:06 PM

Angryjaw: Sorry just got out now

Certifiedmom: Wow things really must have been chaotic. U guys usually shut at 5

Angryjaw: Yeah it’s been nuts. I’ll be there in like 15 mins

Certifiedmom: Dinner’s been ready for a while so I’ll just heat it up again. See u hyung

Angryjaw: See u

 

A hot mess

Sunday 10:42 AM

Socialpapillon: Jinyoungie told me you worked a 10 hour shift yesterday?

Socialpapillon: That’s rough man. Esp for a student job in a clothes shop

Angryjaw: It was pretty bad yeah. I was meant to just spend my whole day with this new recruit but a couple guys were off sick or smth so I had to train + work at the same time

Lagangster: Yuck

Sunshine: Have you recovered hyung?

Angryjaw: I have. It wasn’t too tiring I just couldn’t wait to get away from there

Westside: Who’s the new person?

Angryjaw: Somebody else at uni. Younger than me

Angryjaw: Her name’s Sejeong I think??

Sunshine: Oh I know her! She’s in my year, in a few classes too

Lagangster: How can u not know her name?

Certifiedmom: Hyung u literally didn’t know the name of ur partner in ur literature class until it was halfway thru the year

Lagangster: His name was some generic like Kim Choi Park or smth how was I supposed to remember?

Westside: Offended

Lagangster: Good

Socialpapillon: Srly hyung how could u not know her name?

Angryjaw: I DO know her name, I just wasn’t sure if it was Sejeong or Sejung at first

Daddylonglegs: I found her insta

Daddylonglegs: She’s pretty hot

Westside: Bam pls we all know ur gay af

Certifiedmom: Who added u back to the chat I just wanna have a talk

Daddylonglegs: Youngjae hyung

Certifiedmom: Oh never mind then, well done Youngjae

Sunshine: Thanks hyung. And we’re all gay Bam so what are u on about?

Daddylonglegs: Oh it wasn’t directed at me it was for Jaebum hyung

Angryjaw: Why me?

Daddylonglegs: Because we’re not all gay here are we? Ur biual hyung

Daddylonglegs: Watch out Jinyoung hyung or Sejeong might steal ur future husband away from u

Certifiedmom: It’s only 11 in the morning and ur already starting with ur

Lagangster: Do u secretly live off drama?

Westside: It’s not even secretly it’s just openly at this point

Angryjaw: Hes just being Bambam. He knows I’d never do anything with her

Socialpapillon: And Jinyoungie knows that too right?

Certifiedmom: Yeah right. I trust you hyung

Angryjaw: Good. I’m glad

Sunshine: Hey do u guys wanna meet up for lunch today?

Westside: Pls I need to eat something else other than instant ramen

Certifiedmom: How are u already a broke college student?

Westside: I’m not a broke college student I’m a starving artist

Westside: Pls treat me to food

Certifiedmom: No

Daddylonglegs: How about this: we meet at the mall and whoever looses at rock paper scissors has to pay for the meal?

Angryjaw: That sounds good but I have a better idea

Angryjaw: All those in favour of making Bambam pay for the meal after the he pulled yesterday say aye

Lagangster: Aye

Socialpapillon: Aye

Certifiedmom: Aye

Westside: Aye

Sunshine: Aye

Daddylonglegs: Y’all are the worst I need new friends

Certifiedmom: As if anyone else would be friends with u

 

Wang gae Park gae

1:24 PM

Socialpapillon: Jinyoungie where are u?? U’ve been in the toilet for ages

Certifiedmom: Hey Jackson who’s that girl by the table? She’s talking to Youngjae rn

Socialpapillon: Oh that’s Sejeong! She saw Jaebum hyung and came to thank him for showing her the ropes yesterday. Then she saw he’s friends with Youngjae and starting speaking

Socialpapillon: She’s actually pretty funny. Cute too

Socialpapillon: Oh and she knows Youngjae bc they’re the same age and both major in music

Certifiedmom: Oh ok

Socialpapillon: Srly what are u doing in there? U got the s or smth?

Certifiedmom: Stfu that’s gross

Certifiedmom: And no ofc I dont. I’m just trying to fic my hair

Socialpapillon: What by dying it? Get your out here

Certifiedmom: Ok I’m coming

 

A hot mess

8:11 PM

Westside: Sejeong noona is really nice! She tells funny jokes too

Sunshine: Yeah she’s great. She’s really great at music too ^-^

Angryjaw: Yeah she wanted to work in the music store originally like I did but they’re still full up over there so she ended up in the JYP store like me

Socialpapillon: I heard her singing along to a song on the radio. She’s rly good!

Daddylonglegs: Not as good as me tho

Lagangster: No one can reach that level

Westside: Remember that time Bambam was singing in Hot Topic and it got us all kicked out lmao

Lagangster: Tbh I thought theyd appreciate that since Bambam’s screaming isn’t any different from the stuff they usually listen to but I guess I was wrong

Daddylonglegs: Pls as if anyone who works in Hot Topic would appreciate the god like quality of my vocals

Angryjaw: Or your mouth in general since u never shut up

Daddylonglegs: Uncalled for. Plus neither does Jackson hyung

Sunshine: I laugh a lot too. And play games really loudly

Certifiedmom: Apart from that last part there is nothing wrong with what u just said at all

Westside: Thats literally half of it but ok

Socialpapillon: Honestly I thought u would have showed up earlier to roast Bambam Jinyoungie

Certifiedmom: I was busy then or I would have

Lagangster: What were you doing?

Certifiedmom: Homework

Daddylonglegs: Gross

Daddylonglegs: Oh btw Yugyeom can I copy ur hw for dance tomorrow?

Westside: Bold of u to assume I did the hw

Socialpapillon: It’s ok we all know ur secretly a huge teacher’s pet we’re not ashamed

Lagangster: And u do ur hw the same day u get it

Sunshine And u name and date all the work u do

Angryjaw: And u use different coloured pens for ur notes

Certifiedmom: Ha loser

Westside: Damn it who s?

Westside: Bambam I hate u

Daddylonglegs: That’s what u get for not sticking up for me when I had to pay for the meal

Socialpapillon: Ok but can we talk about how Sejeong didn’t even eat with us but heard Bam was paying for it all and offered to pay for half herself??

Socialpapillon: Like she didn’t even lecture us or go “u guys are mean!!” like most girls do she was just like “oh I can do half”

Socialpapillon: What a cool chick

Lagangster: That was pretty nice of her

Sunshine: She might buy u lunch at work hyung

Angryjaw: That’d be lit I’d love that

Angryjaw: But it’s rude to get a girl to pay for u so I wont accept it

Daddylonglegs: Um also u eating with a girl would look weird? People might think ur dating

Lagangster: A rare good point from Bambam

Angryjaw: I doubt people would care. Beside we’re coworkers. There’s nothing weird about eating food together

Westside: Yeah me and Bam eat with Jimin the whole time and she’s a girl

Sunshine: But she’s ur age and in ur class

Sunshine: Hyung is Sejeong’s oppa

Socialpapillon: Why u gotta phrase it like that Youngjae?

Daddylonglegs: Omg JB oppa! I luv u!! <3 <3

Westside: Gross

Lagangster: Ur disgusting shut up

Angryjaw: Yugyeom ur supposed to be Bambam’s best friend yet all u do is bully each other

Westside: Kind of like how u and Jinyoung hyung are supposed to be our parents yet all you do is attack us and favourite Youngjae hyung

Westside: Hhhmmm wonder where I got it from?

Sunshine: Where is Jinyoung hyung? Doing hw again?

Daddylonglegs: Probably lol. But srly Gyeom that homework??

Daddylonglegs: I can’t get another late on it or professor Cho will flip

Lagangster: Just do ur homework urself

Daddylonglegs: Um I do?? Yugyeom doesn’t write it out for me

Socialpapillon: He means do it uself IN TIME

Angryjaw: And NOT 12 hours before it’s due

Westside: Fine I’ll help u just give me a minute

Daddylonglegs: Great thanks

 

Parents

9:05 PM

Angryjaw: Srly are u still doing homework Jinyoungie?

Certifiedmom: Yeah

Angryjaw: U’ve been doing it for ages

Certifiedmom: It’s a big piece. I’m still only halfway through

Angryjaw: Oh that . I’m sorry

Angryjaw: Btw I know we said you’d come over on Thursday night to study together but I can’t. I’m working that day straight after class, showing Sejeong more things

Certifiedmom: Ok that’s fine

Angryjaw: U can study with someone else can’t u?

Certifiedmom: Yeah I’ll ask Wonpil

Angryjaw: Great. Thanks baby

Certifiedmom: You’re welcome

Angryjaw:

Certifiedmom: What is it?

Angryjaw: Mr Park just texted me. One of the workers is still sick so he wants me to cover tomorrow night too

Angryjaw: Damn it. I wanted to work on composing tomorrow

Certifiedmom: That’s annoying

Angryjaw: Yeah I have this great idea for a new song. It’s gonna be about chasing ur dreams and all the unpleasant things and suffering u have to go through in order to achieve them

Certifiedmom: That sounds rly good hyung. How did u come up with that idea?

Angryjaw: Oh it was Sejeong. When we were speaking about music she said how she wanted to become a singer & majors in music and I was saying I want to work in it too

Angryjaw: Funny how we both got rejected from the music shop but ended up at at Jyp lol

Angryjaw: That’s kinda what got me thinking about it

Certifiedmom: It’s nice to know she’s such an inspiration to u

Certifiedmom: I’ve finished my hw. I’m going to bed now. Goodnight

Angryjaw: Already? But I thought you were only halfway thru?

Angryjaw: It’s still early too. It’s not even 10

Angryjaw: Jinyoung?

Angryjaw: Sleep well. See u in the cafeteria tomorrow for lunch

 

A hot mess

Monday 12:57 PM

Socialpapillon: So did u get ur hw in in time?

Daddylonglegs: Yep! Mr Cho suspected nothing lol

Lagangster: Or maybe he’s figured out ur just copying other’s stuff and is compiling evidence against u

Westside: Mark hyung being optimistic as always

Sunshine: Tbh Mark hyung prb tipped them off about it

Lagangster: Nah I copy hw the whole time lol

Socialpapillon: Oh so is that speaking from experience?

Lagangster: No comment

Certifiedmom: I didnt say anything either in case u guys were wondering

Westside: U were my next guess yes

Westside: Or maybe Jaebum hyung actually idk

Socialpapillon: It is Bambam so who can say for certain

Sunshine: Where is hyung I can’t see him anywhere

Angryjaw: Hey guys I’m caught up with class. The computers are all frozen and we need to save our music. I’ll prbly be a while

Lagangster: do u think u can do it?

Angryjaw: Idk I rly hope we can. Nobody here knows jack about computers tho so we called the IT guy

Daddylonglegs: Pray for Defsoul’s music everyone

Angryjaw: Thanks Bam

Westside: Personally I prefer Jb as a stagename

Socialpapillon: What are u talking about Gyeom it’s obviously Presdef or bust

Sunshine: I thought it was Presdefjef or smth

Lagangster: Why would it be that lol

Daddylonglegs: It’s Jaebum hyung. It might as well be Presdefjefsnoopdogsunbaenim

Angryjaw: Bam I sweat if you don’t stfu I’m gonna go over to the cafeteria and whoop ur

Westside: I just got in now where’s Jinyoung hyung?

Socialpapillon: Ordering food?

Sunshine: I’m in the line and I don’t see him anywhere

Lagangster: That’s weird he’s usually the first one here

Angryjaw: Jinyoungie isn’t there?

Socialpapillon: Nah

Westside: It’s a miracle

Daddylonglegs: Finally I can dip my pizza in my soda without being judged

Socialpapillon: nO ONE EATS THAT

Lagangster: Ur one nasty Bambam

Sunshine: Guys it’s actually not that bad once u get past the social stigma of it

Westside: U too Youngjae hyung?

Sunshine: Bambam forced me but yeah it’s actually not that bad

Socialpapillon: Is the pizza cold or warm?

Lagangster: Or lukewarm?

Daddylonglegs: I see you’re intrigued by my highly innovative mind and the incredible things it comes up with

Lagangster: I literally have so many issues with that sentence idek know where to start

Westside: How about I do? 1 No one is intrigued

Socialpapillon: 2 I doubt you even know what intrigued means

Lagangster: 3 Ur mind isn’t innovative it’s just messed up

Sunshine: 4 U probably don’t know what innovative means either tbh sry Bam

Angryjaw: Guys Bambam’s daily roast might have to wait a minute

Socialpapillon: Damn why?

Daddylonglegs: ing finally I was being mercilessly attacked. Even by Youngjae hyung which rly breaks my heart

Daddylonglegs: And for ur information yes I DO know what both innovative and intrigued means

Angryjaw: It looks like I’m gonna be here all lunch. Sorry Jinyoungie, I wanted to eat with u

Angryjaw: And these losers too I guess you’d be there

Sunshine: He still isn’t here

Angryjaw: What seriously? But lunch is half over

Lagangster: Maybe he decided to eat with his choir friends or smth

Westside: He prbly would have told us if he was

Socialpapillon: Esp if he and Jaebum hyung agreed to eat together

Daddylonglegs: Intrigue: arouse the curiosity or interest of; fascinate. Innovative: (of a person) introducing new ideas; original and creative in thinking

Socialpapillon: Well done Bam u can Google stuff

Lagangster: Nice job

Angryjaw: OH THANK GOD

Westside: I admit that I too was worried Bambam was incapable of performing such a simple task

Sunshine: What is it hyung?

Daddylonglegs: YUGYEOM UR SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND WHY AREN’T U ON MY SIDE?!?!

Angryjaw: We unfroze the computers. Our work is saved. I can go

Angryjaw: There better be some damn pizza left after the stress that just caused me

Socialpapillon: Yeah ur good. Everyone went off of it after they saw Bambam dip it into his pizza lol

Daddylonglegs: They did not they were just jealous

Westside: Howd you unfreeze them, did the tech guy do it?

Angryjaw: No actually it was Sejeong. She minors in computing so she knew how to solve it without losing any of our work

Lagangster: Damn girl got skills

Daddylonglegs: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sunshine: Stop

Lagangster: End urself

Westside: Guys I saw Jinyoung hyung!

Westside: Or at least I think it was him?? Idk he was walking fast so I didn’t rly see

Angryjaw: What where is he??

Westside: In the cafeteria. It looks like he was walking away from the line

Sunshine: Why isn’t he sitting with us?

Lagangster: You done ed up this time Jb

Westside: Wdym “this time” as if hyung hasn’t ed up before

Certifiedmom: Stfu all of u he hasn’t ed up but u have

Certifiedmom: Kim Yugyeom I’m coming for u

Daddylonglegs: Wtf he’s actually here lolololol

Socialpapillon: Can confirm hes currently attacking Yugyeom

Westside: nsegjNFJKGBbkjg8U2498Y6HJDKSGggnjdsgh

Lagangster: The sound of suffering

Sunshine: Where were u hyung??

Certifiedmom: With my choir friends as u suggested. We had to go over something. It was kind last minute & urgent

Angryjaw: So u’re not annoyed at me?

Certifiedmom: No

Angryjaw: Oh ok good

Angryjaw: there is pizza left I’m ing starved

Westside: 0-0

 

Jjp children

4:44 PM

Westside: Does anyone else get the impression that things were in fact NOT good today at lunch?

Socialpapillon: So it wasn’t just me

Daddylonglegs: Yeah Jinyoung hyung seemed like he was in bout smth mentally

Westside: He’s always in tho

Daddylonglegs: But like about Jaebum hyung

Sunshine: I wonder why. Hyung hasn’t done anything. Not that I know of

Lagangster: Maybe it’s bc of Sejeong

Daddylonglegs: Elaborate

Daddylonglegs: AND YES I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Lagangster: Sure

Lagangster: Well she’s this pretty talented girl that we all like coming in and suddenly spending all this time with Jaebum so maybe Jinyoung feels jealous

Lagangster: I mean Jaebum is bi and Sejeong is single

Westside: And Jinyoung rly is just that petty like ofc he would he jealous of her

Socialpapillon: Yugyeom makes a good point Jinyoung is pretty petty

Sunshine: Is that why he’s been avoiding us do you think?

Daddylonglegs: Yeah I didnt buy that choir excuse for a minute

Daddylonglegs: I mean how can u have urgent business to do with a club that u literally just sing in?

Daddylonglegs: “Oh no we’re not stereotypically gay enough! Add more sparkles!”

Lagangster: Ur pretty stereotypically gay Bam

Daddylonglegs: Yeah but I’m not in ing choir

Socialpapillon: Not EVERYONE in choir is gay

Westside: U just know that cuz u tried to hit on some of the guys and they told u they’re straight

Sunshine: Lol yeah I remember that I was there for one

Socialpapillon: Ssshhh we don’t talk about that Youngjae

Socialpapillon: We’re here to talk about Jjp

Lagangster: I say we don’t interfere

Daddylonglegs: I say we do

Westside: I say we do

Sunshine: See u guys still are best friends after all that conflict

Daddylonglegs: Maybe. If he bought my those new sunglasses I want…

Westside: THEYRE 50,000 WON

Daddylonglegs: U WOULD DO IT IF U LOVED ME

Westside: UR LUCKY I DO BC YOU’VE GOT YOURSELF A NEW PAIR OF SUNGLASSES

Sunshine: Aaw

Lagangster: Ew

Socialpapillon: fOCUS HERE PEOPLE

Socialpapillon: We need to discuss if we step in or not

Sunshine: No. Jinyoung hyung has been jealous before, he’ll get over it

Daddylonglegs: Yeah but he won’t tho. Not if Sejeong is a constant presence in hyung’s life and she doesn’t have a bf or turn out to be gay or smth

Socialpapillon: Wait is she??

Sunshine: Uh no I don’t think so. I think she’s straight & single

Lagangster: The thing Jinyoung fears the most

Westside: Lol yeah he’s terrified of straight single girls stealing his man

Westside: But it won’t happen. Not for as long as I am the Jjp fanclub president

Socialpapillon: that’s ME

Westside: No it’s me I called it

Socialpapillon: No u didn’t fite me

Westside: What are u going to do scratch at my legs?

Daddylonglegs: Oooooooooo

Lagangster: Damn

Sunshine: Guys FOCUS we can argue about this later

Lagangster: Right. We’re not interfering. End of

Daddylonglegs: I beg to differ we are definitely interfering

Lagangster: Beg all u want I don’t care

Daddylonglegs: Who made u the boss?

Lagangster: My user

Westside: Ok let’s get things straight here

Westside: 1 I am the president of the Jjp fanc club END OF STORY and 2 why wouldn’t we intervene? If we don’t then Jinyoung is just going to be angstin and silently in until Sejeong goes away

Daddylonglegs: Which she WON’T bc she said she’s very happy in her uni courses and her job

Westside: Exactly thanks Bam

Daddylonglegs: Unless she or hyung was in an unfortunate accident of course

Socialpapillon: Sometimes I forget how messed up you are

Sunshine: Guys we don’t actually know if Jinyoung hyung is jealous or not. He might have something going on in his personal life thats making him like this

Sunshine: Or maybe it’s something else hyung is doing

Daddylonglegs: Problems he wouldn’t share with us?

Lagangster: I agree with Youngjae. We don’t know what it is. Maybe he doesn’t want to tell us yet. We shouldn’t do anything. Let Jinyoung sort it out for himself

Westside: But he WONT THO

Lagangster: U DON’T KNOW THAT

Socialpapillon: Trial run?

Daddylonglegs: y’all and ur trial runs we need DIVISIVE ACTION

Lagangster: Our DECISIVE action (u ing fool) is doing nothing

Daddylonglegs: H A u thought divisive action was a typo but it wasn’t

Daddylonglegs: Divisive: tending to cause disagreement or hostility between people

Daddylonglegs: U and Youngjae hyung are clearly on the other side so no matter what me and Yugs do there is going to be a disagreement

Socialpapillon: I still think that was a typo but nice save

Sunshine: U and Yugyeom won’t do anything Bambam, that’s ur action

Westside: Sry hyung I love u but we have to do something. I’m not sitting thru another Jjp rough spot. The last one was too hard

Socialpapillon: What was the last one again?

Lagangster: When Jaebum started wearing bucket hats

Daddylonglegs: Even I can’t make a joke about that. That was a tough time for us all

Socialpapillon: yeah can u remember when he went on a weekend trip w/ Jinyoung to the beach and he wore one the entire time?

Socialpapillon: “Despite what people would have you believe, bucket hats are actually the most effective hat at keeping sun off your face”

Sunshine: Let’s never go back to that

Daddylonglegs: As a fashion icon I can say it caused my physical pain

Lagangster: It caused everyone pain. It was so hard to break the news to him tho

Socialpapillon: Ik he was such a happy bean with his little monstrosities on his head everyday

Sunshine: He was so happy whenever he bought another one. I think he srly bought a new one every week, sometimes more

Socialpapillon: But Jinyoung had NO CHILL when he brought him down. He ing destroyed him

Daddylonglegs: “Hyung those hats are the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life and I hate them so I threw them all out”

Lagangster: A harsh move but worth it in the end

Socialpapillon: Tru but the sadness of Jaebum hyung was unreal for the first few weeks. He looked so sad

Sunshine: Jinyoung hyung was pretty mean too. He could have been nicer

Daddylonglegs: Tbh I would have done the same if I had to look at them on my boyfriend every day

Daddylonglegs: I don’t have a bf so Yugyeom if u ever get into bucket hats I’m dumping u as my best friend

Daddylonglegs: Yugyeom?

Sunshine: Don’t u think he’s been quiet? He hasn’t said anything in like the past half an hour

Lagangster: Oh god

Lagangster: What has that brat done?

 

Least favourite parent/son

5:35 PM

Westside: Why so petty ?

Certifiedmom: Why still breathing hoe?

Westside: Cuz if I wasn’t then u and Jaebum hyung would be in tatters

Westside: Ur jealous of a girl AGAIN?? When was the last time, last week?

Certifiedmom: u

Certifiedmom: And idk what ur talking about. I’m not jealous of Sejeong

Westside: I never said it was Sejeong

Certifiedmom: …… Guess I walked right into that one

Westside: U did indeed. Now spill, what’s up?

Certifiedmom: Urgh I just hate the whole situation

Certifiedmom: Like this pretty, talented, funny girl just coincidentally shows up at Jyp clothing where hyung just happens to work? And she just happens to have gotten rejected by the music store and want to work in music too?

Certifiedmom: And suddenly hyung and her are working all these extra shifts bc people are off sick - TOGETHER nonetheless

Certifiedmom: Like his boss just phoned him up and was like “oh sry Jaebum but can u cover tongiht’s shifts? U’ll be with Sejeong”

Certifiedmom: I’m positive she likes him. Why else would she just always happen to show up where hyung is?

Westside: Omg so you think this is a conspiracy? U think all this is happening bc Sejeong noona likes hyung??

Westside: tf do u think she did gave the other workers food poisoning or smth??

Certifiedmom: Dnjklsgsnnrfkdl no I don’t u piece of I’m not that paranoid

Certifiedmom: I’m sure she likes hyung. But he’ll never believe me. He never does when I say that kind of stuff to him

Westside: Probably bc u think that about every girl he speaks to

Certifiedmom: Bc why tf wouldn’t they? Have u seen him?

Westside: Yes I have he’s my dad

Westside: And u guys are having martial problems so as the Jjp fan club president I must fix them

Certifiedmom: I thought Jackson was the president?

Westside: Pls he’s like vice president at most. Nobody ships u two more than me

Certifiedmom: I do

Westside: Gross

Westside: I love it

Certifiedmom: U damn weirdo

Westside: Well I was made with 50% ur dna so what does that say about you?

Certifiedmom: Pls that 50% is 100% Jaebum hyung it’s got nothing to do with me

Westside: Disagree strongly. Ur actually way more weird than u like to think

Westside: But life is acting so u hide it behind a mask of fakeness

Westside: That’s what u are Park Jinyoung. A fake

Certifiedmom: And ur dead meat Kim Yugyeom. I’d ing end u rn if I wasn’t going to the mall

Westside: Lol what are u gonna do there buy some more friends?

Certifiedmom: I wish. Anything is better than u and the other 4 morons

Westside: It’s other THREE (3) morons u fool Youngjae hyung doesn’t count

Certifiedmom: yeah ur right how could I make that mistake

Certifiedmom: U, Bam, Jacks and Mark hyung are all fools. So is Jaebum hyung

Westside: Oh damn it really is trouble in paradise if ur putting Jaebum hyung in the same box as me and Bambam

Westside: Wait

Westside: Are u going to the mall to spy on him???

Certifiedmom: Pls as if I’d do that. Who do you think I am? That’s some u Bambam and Jackson would do

Certifiedmom: Bye

Westside: Hyung wait

Certifiedmom: What?

Westside: U don’t want to do this

Certifiedmom: Uh yeah I do I need knew socks so I’m gonna go buy them

Westside: Ok drop the act we both know ur not going to buy sock

Westside: Or if they are then you might coincidentally happen to buy them at Jyp clothing right?

Certifiedmom: Idk what ur implying

Westside: Ur going to spy on hyung & Sejeong bc you don’t trust noona right?

Certifiedmom: I’m seriously not. I just want to go to the store, see Jaebum, and get some new socks. If I see him with Sejeong or whatever that’s just a coincidence

Westside: I’d like to propose something

Certifiedmom: What?

Westside: Give things more time. Say a month. If ur still suspicious abt noona & hyung then I’LL go to the mall for u some night and spy on them. See if they get up to anything

Westside: And then I’ll report all my findings back to u and if u want to do anything about it u can. Deal?

Certifiedmom: Deal

Certifiedmom: Wait what do u get out of this?

Westside: Free lunch for 2 weeks

Certifiedmom: U ing

Certifiedmom: Ur lucky ur my son or I rly would have killed you by now

 

Jjp children

6:17 PM

Daddylonglegs: IM CALLING THE POLICE

Daddylonglegs: YUGYEOM BUDDY WHERE ARE U?!?!

Westside: I’m hERE Bambam calm ur

Daddylonglegs: OH THANK GOD

Sunshine: We were beginning to think we lost u

Lagangster: Bambam was the only sad one

Socialpapillon: Uuh both of those statements are incorrect

Socialpapillon: 1 we thought u had gone off to do some stupid involving Jjp & Sejeong

Socialpapillon: If we actually lost Yugyeom then u’d be sad too Mark hyung don’t even try to deny it

Westside: Rest assured that I am fine

Westside: I was just bragging to Jinyoung that he’s a petty and jealous basically

Westside: Was considering doing smth but eehh I cba

Westside: I’d rather just stay home and watch Ru Paul’s

Daddylonglegs: Same they can figure it out on their own

Lagangster: Thank u

Sunshine: Yeah I’m glad u guys saw sense

Socialpapillon: Ha that’s a sentence you don’t get to say everyday

Lagangster: As if u ever see sense

Socialpapillon: Don’t make of my shortsightedness hyung it’s rude

Westside: Lol why make fun of ur shortsightedness when he can make fun of ur short height?

Socialpapillon: HE’S 1CM SHORTER THAN ME

Daddylonglegs: Still taller

Socialpapillon: Shut up u ing giraffe I can’t even look at u in situations like this

Sunshine: Good thing we’re just messaging then

Lagangster: Unless Jackson fights u

Westside: Ooh that’d be even better than Ru Paul’s

Daddylonglegs: I just sat down to eat dinner so no

Sunshine: Are u scared?

Daddylonglegs: Pffft pls no way I could easily beat Jackson hyung in a fight

Socialpapillon: U rly think that Bam?

Daddylonglegs: U know I can’t rly text & eat at the same time haha gotta go for now!!

Westside: Coward

Westside: Also totally inaccurate he’s literally the best at texting & eating at the same time

Sunshine: You’d totally win hyung

Lagangster: As if you’d ever actually hurt Bambam

Socialpapillon: I couldn’t. Whenever I want to I look at him and just see the small, cute, sweet child he was when he first came here from Thailand and I just can’t hurt him

Lagangster: He literally got u 2 kicked out of the supermarket because he began to sundae like a how is that possible

 

A hot mess

Tuesday 8:52 PM

Sunshine: U sure have been working a lot Jaebum hyung, aren’t you getting frustrated?

Angryjaw: Not rly. I’m volunteering for it

Lagangster: Tf why would u volunteer to do extra stuff?

Daddylonglegs: Money

Westside: Money

Socialpapillon: Money

Certifiedmom: Money

Sunshine: Money

Angryjaw: ^

Lagangster: Ok that was a dumb question

Westside: Has Sejeong noona adjusted to the shop well?

Angryjaw: Yeah it’s been like 4 weeks since she started so she doesn’t rly need me there anymore. She wants money too tho so she volunteers to work more shifts too

Socialpapillon: Even tho all the workers are back from sick leave?

Angryjaw: Yeah. I think Jyp is just happy “us youngsters are showing such an interest in the business”

Daddylonglegs: Eh it could be worse. U could work in Hot Topic

Certifiedmom: Didn’t YOU want to work in Hot Topic in like 8th grade?

Daddylonglegs: Hjksgseoitnsdg it was an emo phase ok we don’t bring up that time

Angryjaw: “IT’S NOT A PHASE YUGYEOM THIS LOOK WON’T DIE OUT”

Socialpapillon: That actually fits so many of the things Bambam has gotten into

Lagangster: Bambam’s emo phase was pretty bad but remember when Yugyeom dyed his hair mustard yellow? That was far worse than Bam’s emo cut

Certifiedmom: Dear god that was horrifying

Westside: Hahaha laugh it up

Westside: At least I actually die my hair, unlike u

Sunshine: It wasn’t THAT bad

Socialpapillon: Yeah just maybe go for a more natural colour next time Gyeom

Daddylonglegs: Why natural? Natural is boring

Socialpapillon: Yeah everybody knows the real look is bright blond with pink streaks in it

Angryjaw: Watch it Jackson

Socialpapillon: Wdym hyung? Im just referencing a trendy hairstyle

Certifiedmom: That was never trendy

Lagangster: U could have covered it up with a bucket hat

Sunshine: Mark hyung don’t even joke about that that’s not funny

Daddylonglegs: That is another dark time we don’t look back to too

Angryjaw: Idk why you guys hate them so much they’re cool

Westside: Hyung pls ur mullet was 1000x better than that thing

Daddylonglegs: No it wasn’t

Socialpapillon: I liked it!

Certifiedmom: It was fun to play with but eh

Certifiedmom: Take it or leave it

Sunshine: Yeah I’m with Jinyoung hyung on this one

Lagangster: Same

Angryjaw: U guys . What did I do to deserve this disrespect?

Westside: Well Mark hyung is older than u

Daddylonglegs: So he can do whatever tf he wants

Socialpapillon: BECAUSE APPARENTLY BEING A FEW MONTHS APART MATTERS IN KOREA

Certifiedmom: Jackson is definitely not still salty at all

Westside: Oh that is RICH coming from u

Westside: The first meat incident was ing 5 YEARS AGO LET IT GO ALREADY

Certifiedmom: Never

Lagangster: Technically the age disagreement is older too since Jackson came here in like middle school

Sunshine: That’s so long ago. Can’t you let him call you informally hyung?

Angryjaw: Nope

Socialpapillon: This is racism

Daddylonglegs: Lmao remember that time Jackson hyung complained about it being racism in public and the teachers thought he was being srs and Jaebum hyung got called into the dean’s office?

Angryjaw: There was NOTHING funny about that Bambam I could have gotten ing kicked out of my music course

Lagangster: Yeah but he didn’t actually think it was something serious did he?

Angryjaw: No but the principal is the same

Angryjaw: you Jackson

Socialpapillon: I’m feeling so attacked rn

Angryjaw: Good. U deserve it

Angryjaw: Maybe if u hadn’t done that then I would have let you call me informally by now

Certifiedmom: That’s a lie and we all know it

Westside: Yeah nice try hyung

Angryjaw: Damn it

Angryjaw: Well I better not hear u lot have gotten up to any tomorrow or u know what’ll happen

Daddylonglegs: Wait aren’t u going to be around tomorrow?

Sunshine: Working again?

Angryjaw: No actually but I’m hanging out with Sejeong. Need to help her with something

Socialpapillon: So ur gonna be mia?

Angryjaw: Yeah so don’t try . Jinyoung knows what to do

Certifiedmom: Yeah

Daddylonglegs: fINE I won’t rig the pa system to play Gucci Gang during the morning announcements

Westside: Yeah way to rain on our parade dad

Sunshine: Why would u even

Lagangster: I’ve officially given up on them

 

A hot mess

Wednesday 3:33 PM

Socialpapillon: Eyo Jaebum hyung where u at? I need help with some hw

Angryjaw: Sorry Jacks can’t. Working in 30 mins

Socialpapillon: Ur always working now it’s no fun

Westside: Yeah hyung I’m concerned u might be overdoing it

Lagangster: If u rly need money that badly man I can lend u some it’s no problem

Angryjaw: Thanks hyung but this is smth I need to earn for myself

Daddylonglegs: I don’t get it, what is all this dough for?

Daddylonglegs: U and Jinyoung’s dungeon?

Angryjaw: Is anyone near Bambam rn so they can smack the out of him?

Sunshine: On it

Lagangster: Lol attacked by Youngjae get rekt

Daddylonglegs: The fact that it came from Youngjae hyung hurt more than the punch

Socialpapillon: Rly? I thought the punch would hurt more. They’re ing sore

Sunshine: Ur just weak hyung

Westside: Lmao u alright there Jackson hyung?

Socialpapillon: Barely. Where is my Park gae at? He’ll take away my pain

Certifiedmom: I’m at home

Sunshine: Yeah me and Bam are on our way back too

Socialpapillon: Yknow next year we should all just get a flat together it’d be so much cheaper

Daddylonglegs: I vote Mark hyung pays for the bills

Westside: Or Jaebum hyung since hes worked enough to buy the ing White House lately

Sunshine: I think Sejeong is pretty well off too, he could steal it from her

Angryjaw: Haha very funny. I’m going to work now, don’t bother me ers

Certifiedmom: Put ur phone on silent

Angryjaw: I always do

Lagangster: I wish we could put Bambam on silent

Daddylonglegs: Woah um ok what did I do to deserve this sudden attack?

Lagangster: Nothing in particular. Just voicing my thoughts

Socialpapillon: U could make something that silenced him online and irl. You’d make a fortune

Sunshine: That’s how we’ll get our money for our flat next year

Certifiedmom: I rly need that in my life so let’s do it

Certifiedmom: Better make a Yugyeom and Jackson one too

Westside: Better make a Jinyoung one too so we can’t hear his ing & pettiness all the time

Socialpapillon: Yeah I had better get one so u can’t hear me crying from this betrayal

Sunshine: Omg can y’all stop roasting each other for just a minute pls? I’m stuck on hw too and Bam said he was as well while we were walking so how about a hw party at my place?

Sunshine: We can order food or smth later on for dinner

Lagangster: I’m down

Socialpapillon: Yeah sounds great

Daddylonglegs: I’ll come! Just looking at this stuff makes me wanna chug a bottle of bleach

Westside: Same. I’ll come

Sunshine: Jinyoung hyung, wbu?

Certifiedmom: Yeah sure

Sunshine: Great! Ok come over for like 5? I need to tidy up a bit

Socialpapillon: Roger that

5:24 PM

Daddylonglegs: Hey Gyeom where are u?

Lagangster: U too Jinyoung it’s not like u to be late

Socialpapillon: We’re gonna order food soon so you’ll wanna be here for that

Sunshine: Plus ur also missing getting help w/ ur hw

Daddylonglegs: Nothing huh?

Daddylonglegs: Fine. Guess I’ll just hang out with these losers by myself

Lagangster: The feeling is mutual

 

Jjp children

5:42 PM

Socialpapillon: Guys I just thought of smth

Lagangster: Why don’t u just speak?

Socialpapillon: Pls hyung u don’t even need help ur just sitting on ur phone and drinking soda with ur headphones in - you’d never listen to me irl now no matter what it was

Lagangster: True

Socialpapillon: U know how Bam and Gyeom were planning to do something abt Jjp & Sejeong a while back? Well what if he went through with it?

Daddylonglegs: G U L P

Socialpapillon: I KNEW u were still planning smth!

Daddylonglegs: No!!

Daddylonglegs: I mean yeah we had a plan when it first started but we scrapped it I swear!!

Socialpapillon: Do we believe him boys?

Sunshine: Yeah. He looks like he’s telling the truth

Lagangster: And if they rly were still doing smth then Bam would have gone along with. He never flakes out when Yugyeom is concerned. Or at least when pranking is concerned

Socialpapillon: Ok but Yugyeom and Jinyoung are both missing. Do you think they did smth together??

Daddylonglegs: Ok now that’s just bull

Lagangster: Thats even more wack than Bambam lying

Sunshine: Yugyeom and Jinyoung working together against Jaebum hyung? I can’t buy it

Socialpapillon: Yeah but what if Jinyoung knew Yugyeom was going to do smth and went out to stop him? And that’s why he’s not here?

Sunshine: More plausible

Daddylonglegs: I can’t BELIEVE he would do something without me!

Daddylonglegs: Does our friendship mean nothing to him?

Lagangster: U roast him all the time what did u expect?

Daddylonglegs: Uh not to be treated like last nights meal, that’s what

Daddylonglegs: I’m tonite’s snacc I don’t deserve this

Socialpapillon: So what should we do?

Sunshine: Wait what if Jinyoung hyung was going to do smth and Yugyeom was the one going to stop him??

Lagangster: Explain

Sunshine: Like what if Jinyoung hyung went to spy on Jaebum hyung & Sejeong while they were working, Yugyeom found out, and went to stop them?

Lagangster: This is Jinyoung we’re talking about

Socialpapillon: Yeah he is pretty petty no offence

Daddylonglegs: If Jaebum hyung finds out he’ll go crazy. He hates that stuff

Sunshine: So what should we do?

Lagangster: Let’s try contact them both one last time. We’ll decide what to do from there

6:22 PM

Socialpapillon: Have any of u got a hold of Yugyeom yet?

Sunshine: No. He’s a ghost

Daddylonglegs: Idk I don’t think he’s THAT ugly

Daddylonglegs: Damn he isn’t even here to react to my friendly roast TT I miss him already

Socialpapillon: I’m getting mixed messages from that sentence but I will put them aside for the sake of finding our maknae before Jjp do

Lagangster: Won’t be pretty when they do

Sunshine: Wait a second Bambam did u and Yugyeom plan this together but then u flaked out at the last minute bc u couldn’t handle another Jjp smackdown therefore throwing Yugyeom under the bus?

Socialpapillon: That is true. Mark hyung said it before, he’s never flaked out when it comes to Gyeom & Jjp

Lagangster: Yeah right

Socialpapillon: That doesn’t matter rn. We need to find Yugyeom before he does something stupid

Socialpapillon: Damn it’s so weird to see him acting out. Usually it’s Bam who acts rashly

Sunshine: Ik this is a weird twist

Sunshine: Wait I just thought of smth. Hyung is working with Sejeong tonight isn’t he?

Lagangster: Yeah

Sunshine: Let’s go to the store then. Yugyeom might have gone there to “talk some sense into him” or vice versa

Socialpapillon: Ur right. Youngjae u go there. Check out the rest of the floor too and the 3rd one

Socialpapillon: I’ll take the ground and 1st floor

Daddylonglegs: What abt me?

Lagangster: Ur coming with me. We’re going to Jinyoung’s then Jaebum’s

Lagangster: Don’t even think about protesting

Daddylonglegs: Ok ok I won’t. Ready to go when u are

7:07 PM

Daddylonglegs: No sign of Gyeom or mom at Jinyoung hyung’s place

Daddylonglegs: We’re heading to dad’s place rn

Lagangster: Jacks, Youngjae, see anyone at the mall?

Socialpapillon: No I’ve not seen anyone

Socialpapillon: Then again I have been at Byunwoo’s Bbq for the past 20 minutes so idk

Lagangster: Goddamn it Jackson

Socialpapillon: It’s good ok don’t judge me

Socialpapillon: Plus all this kicked off before we ordered dinner so it’s hardly my fault. I haven’t ate since like 1

Socialpapillon: Plus Youngjae is with me

Sunshine: Hyung!

Daddylonglegs: Thats not fair why didn’t I get the mall job?

Lagangster: Because u’d do the exact same thing u moron

Lagangster: Also Jackson I’m now twice as disappointed in u. U goofed off and u dragged Youngjae into it

Lagangster: Shame on u

Sunshine: Nah it was my idea to go lol

Socialpapillon: See?!

Socialpapillon: Plus if u hadn’t had dinner either u’d probably come too hyung don’t lie

Lagangster: We’re at Jaebum’s place now I’m gonna check in

Daddylonglegs: We’re actually about 2 minutes away

Socialpapillon: He knows I’m right

Sunshine: This is the best bbq in the city, hands down

Daddylonglegs: No Gyeom or dad either

Daddylonglegs: Oh well we tried let’s go home

Lagangster: I don’t think so

Lagangster: Do u want ur parents to get a divorce?

Daddylonglegs: No…

Lagangster: So we’re gonna keep looking. Lets go to the mall since Jackson and Youngjae are doing

Socialpapillon: Ok u can insult me but nobody will stand for this Youngjae discrimination

Lagangster Ur right our parents wouldn’t approve

Lagangster: Sry Youngjae

Sunshine: It’s ok hyung. If u didn’t apologise then I wouldn’t have given u these chicken wings I have

Sunshine: Me and hyung are too full to eat them. They’re still warm

Daddylonglegs: dAMN Mark hyung may have short legs but he sure can run when he wants to

Daddylonglegs: Except he’s trying to look like he’s still walking so it’s like some kind of weird speed walk/jog

Daddylonglegs: Me and my fabulous matchsticks can barely keep up & text at the same time

Daddylonglegs: HOLY THAT CAR ALMOST HIT ME

Daddylonglegs: That was close jfc

Socialpapillon: Then PUT DOWN UR PHONE BEFORE U GET IN AN ACCIDENT

Socialpapillon: I stg do I have to take over as head of the family when Jaebum hyung passes away?

Sunshine: There’s no way he would let u. It’ll probably be Mark hyung since he’s the oldest

Socialpapillon: Probably. Unless he and Jinyoung find out then he almost let Bambam run head first into traffic while texting on his phone then they’ll prb be pretty pissed and say it’s u instead

Sunshine: I prefer Mark hyung it sounds like too much responsibility

Sunshine: Speak of the devil. Here he is now. He’s getting a drink

Socialpapillon: Wait where’s Bambam?

Socialpapillon: DID U DIE???

Socialpapillon: BAMBAM DID U ACTUALLY GET INTO AN ACCIDENT???

Socialpapillon: WHERE ARE U???

Sunshine: Bambam srly where are u??

Sunshine: Pls tell us ur ok

Daddylonglegs: I’m more than ok

Daddylonglegs: I found Yugyeom. And Jinyoung hyung

Sunshine: Srly? The hell is he doing?

Daddylonglegs: Spying on Jaebum hyung and Sejeong noona

Daddylonglegs: Well it actually looks more like Yugyeom is spying on Jaebum hyung and Sejeong noona and Jinyoung hyung is trying to… stop him?

Daddylonglegs: They’re hiding but uuuhhhh idk I feel like Jaebum hyung could still see them if he came to the front of the store

Sunshine: Ok Mark hyung is stuffing his face with chicken wings rn but he says to pull them both away before they get caught

Daddylonglegs: Just a sec

Daddylonglegs: Ok we’re good I’ll get him out of there

Socialpapillon: Did u take pics for blackmail?

Daddylonglegs: Yes. I get in more than anyone in this group so blackmail is a very useful thing for me

Sunshine: “I can’t deny that, he is right” - Mark hyung

Daddylonglegs: Should I get Jinyoung hyung too or leave him?

Sunshine: “Yeah. Jaebum will get mad if he sees him” - Mark hyung

Daddylonglegs: Roger that

Socialpapillon: What happened to not interfering hmm Mark hyung?

Sunshine: Mark hyung flipped Jackson hyung off

Socialpapillon: I’m very hurt

Lagangster: Good

Lagangster: That was some ing good chicken. I paid for my drink so let’s go

Sunshine: Let’s go to Jyp and catch Yugbam

Lagangster: Oi Bambam why aren’t u pulling Yugyeom away? Ur just hiding with him

Daddylonglegs: I’m spying too. U never know

Lagangster: Ffs

Socialpapillon: So what do you think? Were Jinyoung’s fears justified?

Daddylonglegs: Nah I think he’s just being jealous. We can prb go

Westside: Jinyoung hyung tried to get me to move a lot but I didn’t which is why he’s still here

Socialpapillon: Hey traitor

Westside: Sup

Lagangster: We need to get him away before Jaebum notices him

Sunshine: Oh I know!

Daddylonglegs: Lol what’s that stupid noise?

Westside: That’s Jinyoung hyung’s ring tone…

Westside: Wait Youngjae hyung DON’T CALL HIM

Daddylonglegs: Oh

Lagangster: What happened?

Socialpapillon: Guys what’s happening?

Sunshine: Oh no…

 

A hot mess

9:22 PM

Angryjaw: I really can’t believe u guys some times

Angryjaw: I expected this from Yugyeom and Bambam and Jackson but the rest of u?

Angryjaw: I’m disappointed

Angryjaw: What the hell was going through your minds? “Jaebum’s known this girl for like a couple of month ofc she’s madly in love with him and will try jump him at every single opportunity!!”

Angryjaw: SrlyI have no words for u

Angryjaw: Especially u Jinyoung

Angryjaw: I’ve told u a thousand times I love u and that ur the only one for me yet u still do things like this

Angryjaw: If ur really this insecure and jealous then maybe we shouldn’t even be together

Angryjaw: I can’t stand to be with someone who can’t even trust me working with a female coworker because of their own jealousy and insecurities

Angryjaw: I just can’t

Angryjaw: I need some time to myself to figure some things out

Angryjaw: Don’t bother trying to speak to me or convince me to do anything before then. I’ll let you know when I’m ready

Angryjaw: Oh and just before I go I have one thing to say

Angryjaw: There has been a reason why I’ve been working and hanging around Sejeong so much. And it’d not because I want to her

Angryjaw: I have a trip w/ my breakdancing club this weekend. I’m going to use it as a getaway to think things over. When I come back I’ll let u know what’s happening

Angryjaw: And Jinyoung I’ll let u know how I feel about us after it too

Angryjaw: Goodbye

Westside: Guys I’m so sorry

Westside: I’m so so sorry this is all my fault

Lagangster: No it’s my fault. I’m the eldest. I should have tried harder to stop you

Socialpapillon: No it’s mine. I didn’t take it seriously enough

Daddylonglegs: It’s mine. I shouldn’t have encouraged Yugyeom. I should have pulled him away sooner

Sunshine: It’s mine. I’m the one who wanted bbq. Things could have turned out differently if we never went

Sunshine: And I’m the one who ing called Jinyoung hyung. if I hadn’t done that then Jaebum hyung never would have saw us and we could have gotten away with this

Certifiedmom: It’s obviously my fault. I’m the petty insecure one who can’t even handle a single person looking at my boyfriend right?

Certifiedmom: Oh sorry I meant ex boyfriend

Sunshine: Hyung u haven’t broken up

Certifiedmom: We obviously will. He hates me now

Daddylonglegs: He hates us all

Lagangster: We should let him have his space or he’ll get even more mad

Westside: Hyungs I’m so sorry. I messed up so bad

Socialpapillon: Don’t cry Yugyeom

Westside: Howw dud u kno?

Sunshine: U always cry

Westside: Im supposed too be hyunggs biggest supporters bt I just ruineed everyt hing

Lagangster: We all contributed in our own way

Daddylonglegs: Yeah it’s not ur fault Yugs. We’re all to blame

Sunshine: When do u think Jaebum hyung will come around?

Certifiedmom: Never

Socialpapillon: Don’t be so negative Jinyoungie

Certifiedmom: Oh sorry

Certifiedmom: Jaebum hyung will never speak to us again bc he hates us! And he’s going to dump me in the next couple of weeks even tho I want to get married and spend the rest of my life with him! Hooray!

Certifiedmom: Sorry. I just

Certifiedmom: God this is such a damn mess

Certifiedmom: Why are none of u saying anything? U usually never stfu

Daddylonglegs: U really want to get married and settle down together?

Certifiedmom: Oh that

Certifiedmom: Yeah I do. I really love him

Certifiedmom: I honestly can’t imagine myself with anyone else at this point. Hyung just means so much to me that I

Certifiedmom: I cant picture a futuree that he isnt in

Socialpapillon: Are u crying?

Certifiedmom: No off

Lagangster: That’s a yes

Sunshine: Hyung I know we ed up. But we’ll fix this. We’ll make it right. I promise

Westside: We won’t let things be ruined. We’ll make it through this

Certifiedmom: I don’t knoww whether I should admire or cry hsrder at ur optimissm

Certifiedmom: How do u know were not fuced?

Daddylonglegs: Love like that doesnt come along every day hyung

Lagangster: Bam’s right. U have something special. I’ve always thought that

Socialpapillon: And we’ll be damned if we let it go to hell

Sunshine: Maybe you should use this time for self reflection hyung

Sunshine: See what went wrong and how u can fix it

Certifiedmom: It’s not Jaebum I don’t trust it’s Sejeong

Certifiedmom: I guess I just love him so much I think “why wouldn’t u want him?” and assume everyone likes him too

Certifiedmom: So when I see a pretty, nice, talented girl like Sejeong come along and spend all this time with him I just get jealous

Certifiedmom: I think they like him and have to get confirmation that they do/don’t before I do anything about it if I decide to do anything at all

Certifiedmom: I don’t know how I can stop feeling like that but if it’ll get hyung back then I’ll do whatever

Lagangster: That’s a good mindset to have

Daddylonglegs: Plus Jaebum hyung has a crappy temper. I’m sure he’ll come to his sense and realise he overreacted in a couple days

Westside: Don’t stress about it hyung

Westside: Nice to see u stopped crying too

Certifiedmom: Likewise brat

Sunshine: Hey do any of u guys have Sejeong’s contact details?

Daddylonglegs: Uuuummm why do u want them?

Sunshine: I want to ask if she likes Jaebum hyung. I would feel kinda awkward doing it irl now

Socialpapillon: Yeah I think I got it hang on a minute

 

Sunshine, Musiconista

Sunshine has named the chat 96 crew

Thursday 4:19 PM

Sunshine: Hey Sejeong, this is Choi Youngjae

Sunshine: I’m sure you’ve heard about the mess going on w/ Jaebum hyung and the others atm and so I’d like to ask u smth

Sunshine: Do u like Jaebum hyung? Pls answer honestly

Musiconista: Hi Youngjae :)

Musiconista: No I can honestly say I don’t like Jaebum oppa. He’s not rly my type

Musiconista: Plus he’s been with Jinyoung oppa for forever now, I would never want to break that up

Musiconista: I actually think they’re rly cute together haha is that weird?

Sunshine: No it’s not. We think that too. Yugyeom is like their biggest fanboy

Musiconista: Aaw that’s cute

Sunshine: Thank u so much, this has been rly helpful

Musiconista: No problem. I hope things go well for u. Jaebum oppa has been in a terrible mood at work

Sunshine: Oh no rly?

Musiconista: Yeah. A child started crying when he served them in the shop

Sunshine: Omg… that does sound like hyung. He gets rly scary when he’s mad

Sunshine: So does Mark hyung. I still shudder every time I see an ac

Musiconista: Why??

Sunshine: It’s a long story…

Sunshine: I gtg but this has been great. Thanks Sejeong!

Musiconista: Ur welcome Youngjae :)

 

A hot mess

4:39 PM

Sunshine: She doesn’t even like him y’all

Socialpapillon: This is a ing mess

Westside: I rly am just gonna kms

Lagangster: Normally I would agree with that but don’t be so hasty Yugyeom

Daddylonglegs: Yeah calm down I’m sure the hyungs don’t blame u

Certifiedmom: I don’t I blame myself

Certifiedmom: I never realised how jealous I was until now

Socialpapillon: …… Ok so we’ll let that comment slide

Sunshine: Yeah u weren’t exactly ever subtle hyung

Certifiedmom: Ur rly judging me rn as my 6 year relationship might just be blowing up in my face?

Lagangster: Jinyoung I know ur angry but don’t take it out on others

Daddylonglegs: Pls Mark hyung ur literally only saying that bc it’s Youngjae hyung. You’d never do it for me or Yugyeom

Daddylonglegs: Wait I’m confused

Daddylonglegs: What EXACTLY did u ask Yugyeom to do? Like what actually happened before we arrived?

Certifiedmom: A couple months back I wanted to spy on them but Yugyeom said no and that if I rly did want to do, to wait and that he would do it

Certifiedmom: After hyung and Sejeong just kept getting closer, working together all the time, hanging out, I couldn’t take it anymore. I just kinda snapped

Certifiedmom: So instead of going to Youngjae’s I told him to go to the mall and spy

Certifiedmom: That’s the reason we didn’t reply around 5, he came over to mine to speak to me. I was certain I wanted to do it at the time. He went to mall and I stayed in

Certifiedmom: But the more I thought about it the more guilty I felt so I went to the mall to go get him. But he wouldn’t budge bc he was determined to prove to me that there was nothing going on

Certifiedmom: And the rest u all know

Lagangster: God this rly does balls

Socialpapillon: Hey guys we also shouldn’t forget abt this weekend trip

Westside: What?

Socialpapillon: Remember the trip he’s taking this weekend with his breakdance club? I think it’s to Incheon?

Lagangster: So Jaebum’s gonna be away all this weekend?

Daddylonglegs: That’s prb not very good for this

Sunshine: Or maybe it is? He’ll be able to clear his head. Figure out what he rly wants

Certifiedmom: To break up with me

Westside: Stop

Daddylonglegs: He doesn’t want to do that stop being so overdramatic

Socialpapillon: Weird he didn’t mention it earlier

Certifiedmom: He was prb going to tell us sooner but then all this happened

Socialpapillon: Apparently it was pretty impromptu too so he might have only found out like yesterday

Sunshine: Well at least it’ll make not talking to him easier

Daddylonglegs: A unique take on things Youngjae hyung

Westside: Guys this trip could be the one to save this marriage

Lagangster: Yeah it could fix things

Socialpapillon: Hyung will realise how much Jinyoungie rly means to him and how he could never let him go

Daddylonglegs: Then he’ll come rushing home from the trip early, desperate to re-confess his feelings to Jinyoung hyung

Westside: Jinyoung hyung will think it’s to fully break up with him and will be trying to be brave, saying he already knows what hyung’s going to say and that they should just break up

Sunshine: Jaebum hyung gets annoyed at him, asks what he’s saying, saying that he loves him so much and could never let him go

Lagangster: They reconcile their differences, Jinyoung agrees to work on his jealousy, and they live happily ever after

Socialpapillon: The end

Westside: I demand a sequel

Certifiedmom: There’s not going to be a sequel u fools there’s not even going to be a first one. He’s going to dump me after this trip I stg

Daddylonglegs: Good thing I’m a Buddhist!

Certifiedmom: What?

Daddylonglegs: I don’t have a god

Certifiedmom: That doesn’t even

Certifiedmom: U know what whatever. I’m past caring at this point

Certifiedmom: I’m gonna be a single mom of 5 by Monday

Socialpapillon: U never know Jinyoungie. Hyung could surprise u yet

 

B boyz bffs

3:37 PM

Breakitdown: Hey Jaebum coach says we’ve got free shopping town rn

Angryjaw: Ok cool

Breakitdown: U wanna go around together? I’m with a couple of other people rn

Angryjaw: Yeah sure. What floor u guys on? I’ll meet u

Breakitdown: 1st 

Angryjaw: Ok

Angryjaw: Actually on second thought I’ll catch up w/ u guys in a minute. I just wanna get smth first. Might take a while

Breakitdown: That’s cool we’ll probably be on the same floor playing games or smth

Breakitdown: Wait I just walked past u I think

Breakitdown: Why are u in a jewellery store??

Angryjaw: Oh I wanna get earrings for Jinyoung as a make up gift. There’s this pair he rly wants and I want to see if the shop has them

Breakitdown: Jfc I thought u were gonna

Angryjaw: What?

Breakitdown: Nothing it doesn’t matter

Breakitdown: Meet u in the arcade when ur done?

Angryjaw: Sounds good

4:16 PM

Breakitdown: U done yet?

Angryjaw: Nearly

Breakitdown: Damn what are u doing? The jewellery store isn’t that big

Angryjaw: They don’t have the wants he wants so I’m looking for an alternative

Breakitdown: Oh ok

4:30 PM

Angryjaw: Ok I’m done

Breakitdown: We’re still in the arcade. Just about to leave

Angryjaw: Ok omw

Breakitdown: Isn’t that box

Angryjaw: Is that what?

Breakitdown: Oh nothing nvm

Breakitdown: Just looking at the brand

 

Jjp children

12:12 PM

Socialpapillon: Damn I can’t believe it literally only turned Sunday like 12 hours ago it feels like it’s been a ing year since Friday

Westside: It’s bc we’ve been deprived of high quality Jjp content

Westside: Instead we’ve been getting the ty episodes with the story arc everybody hates

Daddylonglegs: We didn’t even get a re-run of the good stuff

Sunshine: I don’t think Jinyoung hyung can even look at a photo of Jaebum hyung rn

Lagangster: He can’t. He nearly started crying at mine yesterday when he saw 1 of the club’s members upload a photo with him in

Lagangster: Caption was smth like “chillin with the b boyz” and he tagged Jaebum in it

Lagangster: He looked pretty serious in the photo. Wasn’t smiling at all

Socialpapillon: I’m so scared guys hyung seems rly pissed off this time

Daddylonglegs: Yeah I mean we’ve nearly ruined their relationship several times but this is definitely the worst

Sunshine: We didn’t ruin it, it’s not our faults

Lagangster: Yeah let’s not start this argument or Yugyeom will start crying again

Westside: Shut up hyung I just love my parents so much

Daddylonglegs: What do you think Jinyoung hyung will do if Jaebum hyung rly does break up with him?

Lagangster: Be pretty ing devastated I imagine

Sunshine: I would be too if I got dumped by my boyfriend of 6 years who I had 5 children with

Westside: Wait if hyung dumps Jinyoung hyung… will he stop being our friend?

Daddylonglegs: Gyeom’s right

Daddylonglegs: He’s pissed at us as well. But he wouldn’t leave us would he?

Socialpapillon: No way. We’ve known hyung for what 10 years now?

Socialpapillon: There’s no way he’d just abandon us. Maybe he’ll take a break or smth but he’ll never leave

Lagangster: Let’s hope he doesn’t

Socialpapillon: We don’t have to hope hyung. I know he won’t

 

Wang gae Park gae

5:04 PM

Certifiedmom: Hyung is back soon I think. He should be coming over to my house at some point today

Certifiedmom: I’m so ing nervous Jackson idk what he’ll do

Certifiedmom: On one hand I think we’ve been together so long and made it through so much that he’ll stay with me and we’ll keep going

Certifiedmom: But on the other I’m ing certain he’s about to dump my and never speak to me again

Certifiedmom: He just sounded so angry and like he rly hated my guts

Certifiedmom: Idk if he can just turn around and forgive me like that

Certifiedmom: I don’t want to lose him. I rly rly don’t

Socialpapillon: U won’t

Certifiedmom: How can u be so sure?

Socialpapillon: Jinyoung I’ve been friends with u guys since what, middle school??

Socialpapillon: Any idiot could see how much u loved each other, even then

Socialpapillon: When u started dating no one was surprised. In fact everybody was expecting it and waiting eagerly for it to happen

Socialpapillon: Which it EVENTUALLY did after u 2 hopeless asses finally confessed ur feelings to each other

Socialpapillon: You’ve been through so much together. Not just as a couple but as friends too. You’ve been through hell and back together

Socialpapillon: Yeah you’ve had ur rough spots but what couple hasn’t? The important thing is u work thru them together. As a team

Socialpapillon: And if u can work thru Jaebum hyung spending that semester away in high school or u potentially going away to acting school next year or hyung’s bucket hat phase then u can make it thru anything

Socialpapillon: I believe in u 2. And I rly mean that

Certifiedmom: Thank u Jackson. That’s rly sweet of u

Certifiedmom: Reassuring too. I feel a bit better now

Socialpapillon: Ur welcome. Any time Jinyoungie

Certifiedmom: Holy theres some1 @ the door

Socialpapillon: ???? So answer it

Certifiedmom: WHAT IF ITS HYUNG

Socialpapillon: OH YEAH UR RIGHT

Socialpapillon: Didn’t think about that

Certifiedmom: nobodys home atm

Certifiedmom: Imma go down and check rn pray for me

Socialpapillon: I’ll pray the hardest I’ve ever prayed before in my life

Socialpapillon: Wait what am I actually praying for? Am I praying that it IS hyung or that it isn’t? Or is it that it’s him and he wants to stay with u?

Socialpapillon: Jinyoungie?

Certifiedmom: ing couriers

Socialpapillon: What?

Certifiedmom: It was a courier with some clothes my mom ordered online

Certifiedmom: My ing heart nearly exploded

Socialpapillon: Oh ok so that’s good…?

Certifiedmom: Tbh I don’t rly know

Certifiedmom: I want to see hyung but at the same time I’m too terrified

Socialpapillon: That’s natural. But you should speak to him sooner rather than later

Certifiedmom: Yeah I know

Certifiedmom: I’m just going to put these clothes in my parents room, just be a second

Socialpapillon: K

As Jinyoung went through to his mom’s bedroom he heard a knock on the front door once again. So soon after the last one he figured it was just the deliveryman again; perhaps he had forgotten something or discovered there was another package for them in the van. Booyoung had ordered some shoes the other day, it could be them. He dropped the parcel on the bed before heading back to the the front door and opening it to reveal the person on the other side.

Jaebum.

Instantly Jinyoung felt his chest tighten up. His mouth suddenly felt dry and his forehead sweat. Jaebum’s face was solemn. He was obviously here for the dreaded Talk.

“H-Hyung.”

“Hi Jinyoung. Can I come in?”

“Sure.” He stepped aside, allowing the elder entry. Jaebum came in so naturally it was as if it was his own house. In a way it was like his second home from the sheer amount of time he had spent there over the years; the same went for Jinyoung and the Im’s house. All that might be coming to an end in just a few minutes.

As they made their way to the sitting room Jinyoung noticed Jaebum was wearing a large, baggy jacket that hid a lot of his body in its various folds and creases.

“Uh, do you want to take that off?” he asked.

“No thanks. I’m fine.” the elder replied as he sat down on the couch. Jinyoung made sure to sit on the opposite end from him.

“O-Okay then.” His chest tightened. That meant he wouldn’t be staying long. In typical Jaebum fashion he would be short and to the point. That probably meant he was going to break up with him. He wouldn’t want to hang around after that, naturally With a tight throat, Jinyoung swallowed back a cry. He hated this so much.

“Your parents aren’t in?”

“No, they’re out with my sisters at Sooyoung-noona’s concert. I didn’t want to come because I knew you were coming over.” Jinyoung murmured in reply. He was struggling to look away from the floor and make eye contact.

His boyfriend looked at him. “You should have went. We could have done this another day.”

He shook his head. “It isn’t a big deal, just a small concert her club is putting on for friends and family. I’ve been to loads before. Besides, this is more important.”

“Yeah, I suppose it is a pretty big deal.” He shifted so he was facing Jinyoung. There was no hint of humour or relaxation on Jaebum’s face. He looked nervous and tense, as if someone had wound him up too tightly and he was struggling to release it all.

Jinyoung sat with his hands in his lap trying to look as composed as possible. Being a drama major had it’s advantages in situations like this. Though if Jaebum just looked at him closely for even a second he would see how scared the younger really was. The hands so daintily positioned on his lap were clammy with sweat. He badly wanted to fidget with his sweatshirt sleeves but this would give him away immediately. It would show to Jaebum that he was nervous and he refused to let that happen. Even in a time as dire as this he still had his pride. So did his boyfriend.

“So, uh, what are you here to talk about exactly?”

The elder looked at him. “You know what.”

“I-I know but…” He clenched his fists lightly. “What are you going to say to me? Just get it over with.”

There was an agonising moment of silence as Jaebum collected himself. Jinyoung internally screamed at him to hurry up and get it over with, only barely managing to hold back. Any more waiting or suspense was going to kill him. He just wanted to know if he was going to lose the love of his life or not, that was all he asked.

“I really can’t go out with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

“I do trust you!” Jinyoung burst in. He couldn’t stand being taken the wrong way. “It’s them I don’t trust! The girls that are always around you, trying to seduce you, get you to like them. Even some guys too. It’s them I can’t trust around you. What if they force themselves on you or manipulate you?”

“We’d get over it.” Jaebum answered calmly. “If that ever happened I’d tell them I was already with someone and hopefully they’d respect that and give up on me.”

“What if they didn’t? What if they get pursuing you?” he shot back.

“If they were that persistent then it wouldn’t be worth having them in my life. I would cut them out because I know it would hurt you and our relationship. And that’s the last thing I want.”

This made Jinyoung’s heart flutter a little. He clenched his fists in his lap once again. “If you don’t want to hurt me then why did you say all that stuff in the group chat before? You know that hurt me. It hurt so much…”

“I know it did. I’m sorry.” Jaebum was murmuring now. His tone was softer and less brusque than before. “I was just… angry I guess. I really felt like you didn’t trust me which would be ridiculous after the length of time we’ve been together for. All the guys were there too which also annoyed me. I thought they were all more mature than that.”

This earned a raised eyebrow along with a look of pure doubtfulness from Jinyoung. “Really? You thought all of them were grown up enough to not do stupid stuff like that? Jackson, Bambam and Yugyeom included?”

“... I thought you, hyung and Youngjae would manage to stop them.” the elder replied after a moment.

He sighed. “We were going to but we stopped to get barbecue…” He shook his head. “You know, it doesn’t matter. Not now.”

“Yeah, it can wait. What matters is why you sent Yugyeom to spy on me and Sejeong.”

“I didn’t mean to, it just kinda happened. I was talking to him about how I didn’t trust her around you and he offered to snoop on your for me. I thought it was a good idea at the time.” He let out a scoff. “I should have known better than to never trust him.”

“You know, out of all the things in this story, the fact that you and Yugyeom worked together has got to be the thing that surprised me the most.”

This was said with a trace of a cheeky grin and the teasing voice Jinyoung knew so well. He fought back a smile of his own, hitting his boyfriend’s arm out of instinct. “Shut up.”

Jaebum let out a chuckle. “Sorry Jinyoungie.”

“It’s fine.” he smiled. Truthfully he was relieved. Relieved that Jaebum was still joking around with him. If he had been serious the entire time he wouldn’t have been able to handle it. It would have been a sure omen of what was to come.

“Now really, why did you have Yugyeom spy on us? Did you plan it?”

“No. Like I said, he offered and I accepted. I just… wanted to confirm that I was being over the top. I wanted reassurance that she wasn’t trying anything on you while I wasn’t there. I wanted to know she didn’t like you. I knew if I asked you you’d just say she didn’t and that I was being silly so that’s why I didn’t do that. Plus I didn’t want you to know I was jealous.”

“That last bit doesn’t surprise me. Though you’ve never been good at hiding it.” the elder responded.

Jinyoung pouted. “Hyung.”

“Right.” He took a breath. “I can understand why you did it. But still, there was nothing to warrant it. Did you really think Sejeong liked me or was it all born out of jealousy?”

“I really did think she liked you. You started working together and spending so much time together, both on and off the job, I thought it might have been her doing. Trying to get more time with you because had a thing for you.”

“I can see why you thought that.” he admitted. “And you’re sure you didn’t think I’d reciprocate?”

“Positive.” Jinyoung said firmly. It was the one thing he was sure of at that time.

“Well you can rest assured that she doesn’t like me. One of the things we talked about so much was the guy she likes. He’s in one of my classes as well as well as they club so I know him pretty well. I was trying to help get them together.”

“That’s sweet of you.” He fixed Jaebum with a stare. “But what else were you talking about? It couldn’t have all been matchmaking. And don’t lie to me.”

Now the elder looked uncomfortable. Or was it scared? He couldn’t tell. His eyes shifted away from Jinyoung and towards the floor. He seemed drawn in and tense as if he was unsure of what to do or say next. Naturally this only made Jinyoung’s suspicions rise and his insecurities flare.

“What? What did you talk about?!”

He was fully aware of his tone becoming sharper and his volume rising. Usually it was Jaebum who was the first to shout in an argument yet this time the younger feared it would be him. The sheer ambiguity of his boyfriend’s behaviour was killing him.

What he did next surprised Jinyoung. He was getting all riled up to begin a screaming match, ready to snap at the very next word that came out of Jaebum’s mouth. But he didn’t speak. He began rummaging in his pockets for something. In that huge coat it was almost hard to see what he was doing. The awkwardness of it all managed to diffuse Jinyoung’s anger a little, replacing it with bewilderment and mild irritation instead.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m looking for something. I swear I put it- ah, here it is.”

Jaebum pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded up a couple times. He handed it to Jinyoung who took it, eyeing it in confusion.

“What is this?”

“Open it up.” Jaebum shrugged. It was clear he was nervous but Jinyoung couldn’t see how a single piece of A4 could invoke this within him. He unfolded it preformed a skim-read to see why on Earth it had gotten his boyfriend so anxious. There were words and sketches done in two different hands. One he instantly recognised as Jaebum’s own; his messy handwriting and poor drawing skills stood out from a mile away. The other penmanship was far neater and nicer. It must have been Sejeong’s, he figured. Rather than feeling a spike of jealousy he instead felt even more confused. Why would his boyfriend be writing and drawing things with Sejeong and then Jaebum deem them important for Jinyoung to look at? In an attempt to make sense of everything he began to read over the words carefully.

Formal dinner?

Restaurant vs home

Picnic?

Weekend vs weekday

Holiday or school week (8 weeks until next vacation)

Private vs public

Night or day?

Clothing requirements?

“They’re… date ideas?”

Jaebum stared at him for a moment as if in disbelief. He seemed unable to react for a moment. “N-No they’re-” He ran a hand through his hair. “They’re not really date ideas. They’re kinda different.”

“What are they then? I don’t get it.” It was then Jinyoung clapped eyes on a word scribbled at the bottom. It had been through with a pen like some of the other words. This word, however, made Jinyoung’s heart skip a beat.

Ring?

He was so struck by the significance of it that he didn’t hear Jaebum’s jacket rustling in the background. Before he had been hyper-aware of the huge garment but at that moment he could have not been more oblivious to it. Jinyoung was simply trying to process what exactly his boyfriend had meant by “ring”. Surely he didn’t…

It was Jaebum’s movement that finally pulled him out of his daze. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed his boyfriend was no longer sitting on the other side of the sofa but instead was on the ground closer to the younger. Kneeling.

Slowly, with trembling hands, Jinyoung looked up from the paper to the elder. Jaebum was no longer wearing the ridiculous coat and was instead dressed in his smartest casual clothes. He hadn’t even noticed his pants or shoes before being too preoccupied with the whole potential breakup (as well as his hideous jacket). Now his boyfriend was kneeling in front of him in his smart clothes holding out a small velvet box that contained a ring. It had one large central stone with two smaller stones on either side of it. It was silvery white in colour and clearly very, very expensive. Suddenly it all made sense. Jaebum volunteering for extra shifts, spending lots of time with Sejeong, being weird around Jinyoung. It wasn’t because he was cheating on Jinyoung. It was because he was planning to propose to him.

The younger brought a hand up to his mouth in shock. He stared at the ring, utterly nonplussed. His hand began to shake as tears welled up in his eyes. It felt as if time had stopped. No Jaebum was looking up at him, swallowing thickly.

“Park Jinyoung… will you marry me?”

The tears fell down his cheeks as he nodded slowly. “Yes… yes Jaebum-hyung, I’ll marry you.”

Relieved, Jaebum took Jinyoung’s left hand, slipping the ring onto his finger. It was then Jinyoung saw that he too was crying.

“, I’m so-” He let out a laugh as some drops escaped his eyes. “I’m so happy.”

“Me too. Oh my god, we’re getting married.” Jinyoung stared at the ring on his hand in awe. “We’re getting married Jaebum.”

He pulled the elder up onto the couch with him again, instantly connecting their lips in a kiss. Jaebum kissed back lovingly, holding his hands as he did so. He squeezed them gently which only made Jinyoung cry more. All of his fears were dispelled. The exact opposite of them had happened. He had gone from fearing a breakup to being engaged to Jaebum in a matter of 10 minutes. It made his head spin. He was so in love that it didn’t matter though. He just kept kissing Jaebum, letting all his tensions and anxieties ebb out of his body. The warm touch of his hands on his made him feel reassured and calm. Like nothing was wrong in the world. And for Jinyoung, at that moment, nothing could be better.

Eventually they had to pull away for air. Rather than beginning a furious make-out session Jaebum pressed a kiss to Jinyoung’s head then pulled him in for a snuggle. Jinyoung leaned against him, nuzzling his head into his chest. With a flick of his finger his fiancé wiped away the remaining tears in his eyes.

“Don’t cry.”

“I couldn’t help it. I’m so happy.” he sniffed. “You were crying too.”

“Yes, well…” He blinked aggressively several times. “I’m not now.”

The younger laughed at Jaebum’s stupidity. “Sure.” He sighed contentedly. “You don’t think we’re too young?”

“We’ve been together for six years now. Nearly seven. That’s what really counts. We’ve got family and friends that love us and will support us too so they’ll always be there to help us.”

“You’re right. If we can make it through this then we can make it through anything, right?”

“Yeah. Together. As a family.” Jaebum smiled.

Jinyoung smiled back and the pair sat in a comfortable silence for a while. After a while the younger tilted his head up and asked “so all that working and time with Sejeong was for this right?”

“Yeah. I wanted to have a much better proposal than this, a nice dinner just the two of us, then maybe a walk by the river or something, then I’d do it. But because of the whole spying thing it didn’t turn out that way. I knew I still wanted to marry you and I had to prove my love to you so I thought now would be as good a time as any. I nearly chickened out but managed to do it eventually.”

“And you bought the ring on your trip?” he questioned.

“I did. I knew they had a one I loved, and thought you’d like to, so I saved up money to get it. I wanted to pay for it with my own money too. I didn’t want to borrow anything.”

It all made so much sense now. Jinyoung was ashamed of himself for getting so carried away. How could he ever had suspected anything? If Jaebum truly had doubts about them then he never would have done this. With his blunt, straightforward personality he would have just called things off. Instead he did the opposite.

“I’m so sorry I acted like that hyung. I never thought you’d cheat on me or anything. I just… I was just worried she’s do something.”

“I know baby. It’s okay. I don’t blame you. It’s over now. Don’t worry about it.” Jaebum reassured him, kissing his head once again.

Jinyoung snuggled further into him. “I really love you, Jaebum.”

“I love you too Jinyoung.” he smiled.

Wang gae Park gae

5:45 PM

Socialpapillon: Yo have you ever realised we never see our true selves?

Socialpapillon: Like we only ever see reflections and photos but it’s never really US

Socialpapillon: So how do we know it’s really us?

Socialpapillon: How do we that when we look at those things that it’s rly what we look like?

Socialpapillon: Do we look more attractive in mirrors and pictures than we do irl?

Socialpapillon: Bc if we do, that’s tragic

Socialpapillon: I’ll never rly know how how I rly am do u know how much anxiety that gives me?

Socialpapillon: Hey where u at? Usually u would have yelled at me for spamming by now

Socialpapillon: U just said u were going to ur parents room why is it taking so long?

Socialpapillon: Did u find smth naughty lol

6:39 PM

Socialpapillon: OMG DID JAEBUM HYUNG COME OVER?!?!

Socialpapillon: JINYOUNGIE TF IS HAPPENING?!?!

Socialpapillon: SHOULD I CALL U?!?!

Socialpapillon: U DIDN’T SAY WHAT I SHOULD PRAY FOR SO I’M RLY CONFUSED RN

Socialpapillon: HELP ME OUT HERE

Socialpapillon: JINYOUNGIE

Socialpapillon: JINYOUNG

Socialpapillon: PARK JINYOUNG

Socialpapillon: PARK GAE

Socialpapillon: PARK GAY

7:22 PM

Socialpapillon: Jinyoungiiiieeee where are u??

Socialpapillon: Pls tell me hyung didn’t break up with u

Socialpapillon: Do u want me to kill him? Bc I’ll do it

Socialpapillon: Nobody hurts my Park gae

Socialpapillon: I’m not sure how I’ll stand up to those broad shoulder but I’ll try my best

8:50 PM

Socialpapillon: Wait you said ur sis had a concert thing tonite did u go to that instead?

Socialpapillon: I can’t remember what time u said it was at but u could be there

Socialpapillon: Or did Jaebum hyung rly come over?

Socialpapillon: TELL ME I NEED TO KNOW I’M ING DYING OVER HERE

9:13 PM

Certifiedmom: Jackson I stg shut up

Certifiedmom: I’m fine. Things are fine. You’ll see tomorrow

Socialpapillon: Oh thank god I thought smth bad had happened w/ hyung

Socialpapillon: Wait a second what do you mean I’ll “see” tomorrow?

Socialpapillon: Did you finally decide to dye ur hair or smth?

Certifiedmom: You’ll see tomorrow

Socialpapillon: Ok Jinyoungie

“Guys I’m really worried about our parents.” Yugyeom said. They were sitting on the grassy plain on their university campus waiting for Jaebum and Jinyoung to arrive. No one else was really around as most were in class. The group were tense for the news. Jackson had shown them his and Jinyoung’s texts but no one knew what to make of them. They all hoped it meant they made up yet could not be sure.

“They’ll be fine. They wouldn’t break up.” Youngjae said. Yugyeom didn’t look convinced. He still blamed himself for what happened. He feared he would be the reason for his parents breaking up and their friendship group being shattered. How would be able to live with himself after that?

“Guys, look.” They all glanced towards Mark. He was looking off into the distance. “Isn’t that Jinyoung?”

“And Jaebum hyung.” Jackson confirmed.

“If they broke up then they probably wouldn’t be walking together, right?” Bambam pointed out. They nodded in agreement. They approached the group. They looked normal. No signs of anything on their faces. Jinyoung’s hands were casually placed in his pockets. The other peered at them anxiously.

“Well? What’s happening?” questioned Jackson. This was directed at Jinyoung.

“Jaebum-hyung and I talked last night. We cleared things up. I understand why he did the things he did now.”

“Why?” Yugyeom asked, big eyes blinking at them.

“He wasn’t doing it because he liked Sejeong or anything. He was planning something out with her. At first it was just to help her get used to the work but then after they got closer hyung mentioned to her he was planning something big for me and she wanted to help. He needed it to be someone who didn’t really know me that well too so they wouldn’t accidentally tell me or anyone close to me. That’s why they were together so much.” Jinyoung explained.

“What? What was the thing though? What were you planning?” Bambam frowned.

It was then Jinyoung slowly removed his hands from his jacket pockets. None of them paid it much attention except Mark. Something had caught his eye with the light glinting off of it irritatingly. He glanced down to see what it was. It was then he noticed the ring: white, three jewels, resting on Jinyoung’s ring finger. He nearly choked.

“Holy !”

That sent the others off into a mild frenzy.

“What? What is it hyung?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Mark-hyung, what did you see?”

“What is it?!”

Mark didn’t look at them. He was only focused on Jinyoung. A smile had began to spread over the younger’s face. “You’re engaged.”

Immediately all the others looked at his hands to see if this was indeed true. The smile took over Jinyoung’s face now as he held up his left one to the group. “We are.”

There was a brief moment of silence before screaming erupted from them all. They jumped up and down, hugged the couple and yelled about their engagement. Mainly “how could you not tell us last night?!” came from them.

“We wanted last night to ourselves. Well, before Jinyoung’s family came home, that is. We didn’t want to deal with your loud asses.” Jaebum replied without any malice in his voice. He was smiling too much for him to mean it. Laughing, or maybe crying, Jaebum wasn’t entirely sure, Jackson put his arm around him.

“Congratulations man. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks Jackson.” He hugged his friend back and pulled back when he heard an ugly yelping sound from their youngest. Yugyeom’s face was bright red with tears pouring down his cheeks. He wiped them on his sleeve only for more to replace them.

“I-I’m so happy.” he sobbed.

Jinyoung laughed. “That should be my line, idiot.” He hugged him close, his hair. “Don’t cry, you big baby.”

“I’m trying not too.” he sniffed, hugging back. Jaebum was certain he saw droplets in Mark’s eyes too but didn’t want to risk teasing him about it. Youngjae and Bambam were dry-eyed, cuddling them both and patting their backs, giving their congratulations. It was Jaebum that pulled them into a family hug, encompassing them all in one big group. They all hugged back happily, still laughing and crying at the same time.

“You really are starting a family now.” Youngjae chuckled.

“Still gonna replace us?” Bambam said.

“I do think about it a lot but…” Jaebum smiled softly. “I don’t think I want to just yet.”

Despite it being a Monday the group all agreed to skive off from their classes that day. They instead held a small party at Mark’s to celebrate the engagement.

“We’ll have a proper one at the weekend, when we’ve told more people.” Jinyoung assured them.

“Are we the first people you told?” Youngjae asked.

“You’re the only people.” Jaebum replied.

“What? But weren’t you at Jinyoung-hyung’s last night?” Yugyeom questioned.

“We were but we agreed to tell his and my folks together. His sister too.”

“So you told us before you even told your family?” Bambam said.

“What are you talking about?” Jinyoung smiled at him. “You are our family.”

The party, although small, left them all tired, and then progressively dropped off one by one while watching a movie at night. This happened until only Jaebum and Jinyoung were left awake. They looked at the scene around them, of all their sleeping friends and smiled.

“We might be like this with our real kids some day.” the elder said, kissing Jinyoung’s head.

“Hopefully they’ll be easier to control.” Jinyoung chuckled.

“Hopefully. But for now, this is perfect.”

And as the couple looked down to the engagement rings then at their sleeping friends once again, nothing could have felt more right to them in that moment. And they couldn’t have been happier.