It is an open secret that Shuhua loves Soojin. Staff, members, fans - everyone knows it. Shuhua never tries to hold herself back when it comes to showering Soojin with love, whether it is on broadcast or not.

Soojin, on the other hand, is the complete opposite - she rarely shows affection. Not because she does not love the girl back, but it is just unlike her personality to make any sweet gestures to others. She is not good at expressing herself, and this is also a known fact among everyone.

However, that does not stop Shuhua from trying to get Soojin to show her just a bit of love. As witnessed in their “I-Talk” series, Shuhua is almost always around Soojin, tagging behind the older girl, craving some sort of attention. She does not know how Soojin feels about her, but she has decided not to give up only for a simple reason - because she loves Soojin.

They were preparing backstage for their Show Champion stage when Shuhua saw the I-Talk camera filming Soojin. She hopped over.

“Unnie, the camera is here.”

Soojin did not reply, hands still busy fixing her mic.

“She’s the coldest in the world,” Shuhua said to the camera.

“Go away, Yeh Shuhua. 걸리적거려. (You're making me uncomfortable.)”

“Go away?!” Shuhua raised her voice.

“Do you know what 걸리적거려 means?”

“No,” Shuhua faked a smile at the camera.

“So that is why you’re not retorting, huh?” Soojin laughed.

Shuhua said nothing else and walked away. Her smile fell right after she was out of the camera shot. So I’m making you uncomfortable. I get it now.

***

For the next couple of weeks, Shuhua avoided Soojin as much as she could. She missed Soojin, but those 5 words still bothered her so much. The fact that she loves Soojin made it even harder to approach the older girl because she did not want Soojin to feel uncomfortable with her presence.

Soojin noticed that Shuhua had not been hanging out around her anymore and the absence of the younger girl actually made her feel weird. The loud voice that would always be calling out to her, the compliments that Shuhua would shower her with, the feeling of Shuhua’s body against hers when Shuhua clung onto her - she missed everything. At first, she brushed it off as nothing much, but recently, she could feel that Shuhua was avoiding her on purpose, and that, strangely, hurt her.

“Shuhua-ya,” Soojin tried calling out to Shuhua.

“Yes?”

“Let’s take some photos together for the behind story.”

“Oh, but I’m taking with Miyeon unnie today.”

“Oh,” Soojin masked her disappointment. “Okay then.”

Shuhua went to Miyeon right after. Soojin looked at them sadly as they left the room for the photos, arms linked. Why does this hurt me so much?

***

“Get in the car quick,” their manager said.

Shuhua saw Soojin in front of her and quickly turned to Soyeon behind her.

“Soyeon unnie, can I switch places with you?”

Soojin heard the conversation behind her. You’re avoiding me again, aren’t you?

“What, why?”

“I have something to show Minnie unnie.”

“Oh, okay.”

She got into the car and put on her airpods immediately, knowing Shuhua was not the one sitting next to her. The car started moving after half a minute and she looked at Shuhua and Minnie from behind. The duo were discussing about something that she could not hear because of the music playing in her ears, but she could see them laughing while chatting. Why does it feel like you’re laughing around everyone but me these days? She decided to stop looking and stared absentmindedly outside the car window for the rest of the journey, drowning in her own thoughts.

***

It was a rest day for them and Soojin walked out into the empty living room. The other members went out, leaving only Shuhua and her in the dorm. She thought the younger girl would be binge-watching dramas in the living room like she usually does during her free time. Is this to avoid me as well?

She knocked on Shuhua’s door before opening it.

“Shuhua-ya?”

“Yes?”

“Are you hungry? I’m going to cook, do you want to eat together?”

“I’m not hungry so I’ll skip,” Shuhua smiled lightly.

You’ve never rejected my food before.

“Okay then. Wanna hang out after?”

“I’m a bit tired so I think I’ll take a nap. Sorry, unnie.”

“Rest well then.”

“I will. Can you close the door for me on the way out?”

Soojin only nodded before she exited the room, closing the door behind her. What’s the matter, Shuhua-ya? She leaned against the door and let out the sigh she had been holding in. Haku, the puppy the group was raising because Shuhua wanted one, ran towards her. She scooped him up in her arms and went to the living room.

Haku-ya, just why is your owner avoiding me?

Haku started Soojin’s hand, liking the head rubs Soojin was giving him.

You really remind me of Shuhua sometimes. She liked it whenever I pat her head too.

She sighed.

Will we ever go back to how we were like before?

She looked at Haku who was now falling asleep on her lap.

At least you’re not avoiding me unlike your owner.

***

“Shuhua, you have to do a vlive broadcast today,” the manager said while listing the group’s schedule for the day.

“Can I do it with someone?”

“Of course. Who do you want to do it with?”

Soojin turned to Shuhua, hoping that the latter would pick her. Shuhua always did her vlive broadcasts with her and she hoped it would be the same today.

“I’ll do it with Yuqi today.”

Soojin’s face fell immediately.

“Yuqi? But Yuqi has dance lesson at 7pm.”

“It’s only 5:30pm now. It’s not going to be that long, right?”

“Yes, but Yuqi might want to rest before practice.”

“I’ll be alright, manager-nim,” Yuqi said.

“Okay then. Both of you prepare, we will set up the camera now.”

“Let’s go,” Shuhua said cheerily while linking arms with Yuqi, oblivious to the sad look on Soojin’s face.

Shuhua and Yuqi reached the room they were going to do their broadcast in, but the camera and iPad were still being set up. They went to the couch at the side of the room to wait.

“Okay, spill,” Yuqi said in Chinese the moment they sat down.

“What?” Shuhua asked, also in Chinese.

“Why did you pick me for the broadcast?”

“Why can’t I pick you?”

“But you always pick Soojin unnie so why me this time?”

Shuhua remained silent. She looked down on the floor.

“I noticed you avoiding her recently,” Yuqi continued. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“You kept looking for excuses to be away so something must have happened between you two,” Yuqi stated as a matter-of-factly. “You might feel better after sharing.”

Shuhua stayed mummed.

“I know you love Soojin unnie. Not the way you love the rest of us, but love so it’s okay. I’m not going to judge and you know that.”

The younger girl stared at Yuqi in shock. “How?”

“It’s so obvious. Probably everyone knows except Soojin unnie,” Yuqi laughed. “So you know you can share if you want to.”

“She feels uncomfortable around me.”

“Wait, what? How do you know?”

“She said it to me. She thought I didn’t know the Korean phrase she was using but I knew the meaning of it.”

“What did she say?”

“저리 가라. 걸리적거려. (Go away, you're making me