hyejoo

ing cigarettes

Minju didn't mean to stumble upon their robot-of-a-visual unnie, it's all thanks to her pain in the arse throat that felt a bit too dry and needed to be hydrated in the late hours of the evening. She was on the way to the kitchen when she passed by the balcony, the sight before her isn't a strange one. Someone always stayed by the balcony - and she found herself shrugging by taking in the figure of the person by their back; she's gotten so used to it that there wasn't any other person who proved to be nocturnal other than her.

Kang Hyewon.

Silently, she tiptoed towards the rapper when she feels her face frowning yet again in the usual flow of things whenever these moments happen. A steady stream of smoke is dissipating out towards the dark blue sky, foul smell emitting from the stick. The pink-haired girl continues to find her way beside the older girl who didn't seem to acknowledge her presence. This only succeeded in making the other visual's face scrunch further, Minju huffs - expecting a reaction, but of course, receiving none.

"You're doing it again."

Hyewon said nothing, she just kept staring straight ahead, towards the far view of the twinkling city lights coming from the smaller buildings within the vicinity. Minju replied with silence too, knowing that silence is Hyewon's number one friend; even if she insists that it's food.  The soft stream of wind pushes strands of her hair, giving the younger girl an all-too-perfect view of the beautiful girl's sharp jaw. Minju purses her lips at the sight before her, it's not like she haven't seen Hyewon's glory but she can't deny that it's still breathtaking every single time she's exposed to it.

A couple of seconds pass as the cigarette stick is downed to its before the raven-haired girl turns her gaze to the younger girl who was looking at her with steely glint in her black eyes, not that it fazed her though. Minju's too cute of a person to be even giving other people intense stares, or maybe Hyewon just doesn't look deeply within people's orbs - it's not worth her time.

"What?" She asks, pretending to not know. It's one skill of hers that always baffled even the most intelligent of the mall - feigning ignorance that is; so it's no wonder that Minju tilts her head to get a better view of her.

"That habit of yours," Minju points at the lone stick of cigarette held in her free hand. Hyewon brings it up close to her face, examining the thin paper roll containing the tobacco. The seven centimeter stick enclosed between her middle and index finger brings a gentle smile to her lips; who knew that such small thing can take someone out from their own problems and the world.

Hyewon smokes but not on a daily basis, although she wishes she rather could, not that she had enough lines for her to preserve her voice; they had Eunbi or Yuri for that matter. She also likes to smoke, just the feeling of dirty air flowing down and into the bloodstream then back outside makes her feel relaxed, calmed down. She can't explain it regardless, Hyewon just liked the feeling. One flick of the lighter and an inhale makes her problems go down the drain.

"You care for me that much?" The older asks in slight amusement.

As soon as the words escaped her parting mouth, Minju's eyes widened and her face became colored with a tint of pink and then a bit of faint red. The rapper almost broke out at the sight of the pink-haired girl getting worked up by her but she kept her composure; Minju's back at it again as usual. Hyewon shifts her gaze back at the dark blue abyss above them; there were stars, yes - but it was few, not enough to make up for the terrifyingly beautiful space of nothingness. She briefly wonders what it's like to be a star, so beautiful and bright yet stuck in a single position, destined to die. Hyewon doesn't know why people wish upon a star, looking back at a star means looking back into millions of years in the past; directly telling them that wishing upon a star means it takes millions of years to get to them which thoroughly says that by the time the light reaches them, the star is already dead; just like their wishes, or maybe she's just a realist.

Minju on the other hand, fiddles with her thick sweater all the while trying to decipher the cold aura that her unnie is emitting, surely something about two in the midnight always makes things a bit more intimate and private, any other time of the day would say so. She always had the feeling that the other girl in her presence was a pessimist, just earlier she asked a question that would've perplexed other members. Really Hyewon-unnie? That question?

"Of course I do..." Minju trails off. She couldn't quite comprehend why a question like that would be directed at her by a person she loved the most. "Why would you even ask that when you and I both know the answer?" She adds on a firmer note.

The older girl beckons her to step closer within arm's reach. Once Minju does, Hyewon's arms encircled around her shoulders tightly but still gentle. Minju notices how cold her older friend was but she made no efforts into voicing it out loud. The younger girl unconsciously wraps her arms around the girl's midriff and rests her head unto Hyewon's shoulders lightly; she feels something is entirely off but she can't pinpoint what it was. For now, she just wanted to erase all the girl's problems and bask in her cold yet comfortable embrace.

"Don't get too attached." Hyewon calmly reminds her. "We'll be disbanding soon, I can't have you crying over me or else I'll switch agencies just to make you happy." There was a faint trace of affection in her usual monotone, robotic-like voice and Minju can't help but to feel a little bit joyful about it.

"I might as well cry if that means you'll be with me."

Hyewon chuckles at her statement, it's one thing that she takes pride in: making the visual goddess laugh when nobody can really get her to break her blank expression. She wants this moment forever, but sadly everything has an end. 

"Pabo."

Instead of being offended by the word, Minju feels a light bulb lighting up mentally when she corrects the other girl sternly, "Correction, your Pabo." 

They stay in their position for a few minutes when Hyewon breaks off the hug, leaving Minju disappointed at the sudden loss of contact. She pouts cutely at the rapper but the other just shrugged away her antics. Minju stands beside Hyewon and does the same in observing the once brightly lit city that is now darkened by the absence of electrical bulbs in their apartments. Silence once again accompanies them but it's not an awkward type of silence, it's a comforting type of silence that almost always makes Minju lull herself to sleep.

"So ist es immer." Hyewon mutters in a hushed voice; it seemed that the phrase is directed more towards herself rather than for striking up a conversation with Minju.

Minju turns to look at the girl beside her in a confounded manner, since when did Hyewon spoke German? She sees the rapper resting quitely while standing upright, her eyes closed as if she's in a trance, one with nature too. She finds the sight a bit too majestic, too much that she hurriedly pulled out her phone and snapped a photo of the meditating girl sneakily. Guess I have a new lockscreen now. 

She feels her face getting a little red when the said girl opens her eyes and looks her straightly; it felt that she was a book being read by a certain Kang. It didn't help that the sharp features of the girl's face seemed to be too concentrated in looking at Minju's own face that she ignored the blush that dusted the younger's cheeks. Really, Hyewon was the only one that can look at her simply and make her feel undressed, , and appreciated.

Snapping away from the little spell that Minju was in, she looks back at Hyewon who she noticed - had a smile formed from her extraordinary features. An arm cups Minju's cheeks which her own hand held unto, now she knows that something is wrong. There's something between their atmosphere that made it all feel off though she pushed that thought deep down her body.

"Take care frog." Hyewon mutters in a smile.

"What do you mean unnie? We're going shopping later where are you-" Minju doesn't get to finish her sentence when someone stood still from the door frame. Scrunching her eyes, it was Chaewon with a low gaze, almost as if she's pitying her. 

"Minguri..." Chaewon calls out to her sadly.

"Chaewon-unnie? Where is Hyewon-unnie going? We're going shopping later right?" She asks the mint-choco lover. She can't help but to notice the eyes that are directed at her. Is there something wrong?

"No Minguri... Stop this." Chaewon's eyes pool in, making the anxiety that Minju feels earlier rise up tenfolds. 

"What do you mean? Hyewon-unnie, why is Chaewon-ah cry-" Minju turns her eyes back at Hyewon's spot but all she's met with was cold wind and an empty space. Something is definitely wrong.

"W-Where is Hyewon-unnie?" She asks Chaewon, her eyes desperately trying to prevent any tears to fall down.

"Stop this Minju, you're hurting yourself." The older girl pleads.

"What do you mean?! Hyewon-unnie is here earlier!"

"No. Hyewon-unnie is already gone!" Chaewon shouts in exasperation. 

Minju feels her world breaking down and crushing her. What does Chaewon mean by gone? 

"N-No! It can't be! I took a picture of her earlier!" Minju hurriedly fishes out her phone from her pants and looks at the most recent photo. 

The sight in her phone made her drop down in her kness, the picture isn't what Minju thought it would be. Instead of Hyewon being in the picture, a blank wall was presented in the image. She breaks down crying and she feels Chaewon running towards her and then proceeding to hug her comfortingly. Hyewon-unnie's dead. It rings through her head over and over and she wants it to stop, Hyewon couldn't be dead.

"Hyewon-unnie couldn't be dead!" She wails, silently wishing that what Chaewon said wasn't true. "She promised me she'd switch agency to be with me!" Her hands pull her pink hair frustratingly.

"M-Minju stop..."

There goes Minju, crying her heart out in Chaewon's chest, because the one thing that motivated her to keep going was already gone. And she's no god to bring her back from the dead. Chaewon her head comfortingly, knowing full well that the one member that affected the most about Hyewon's death was Kim Minju, and so they cry together.

"I deeply apologize for your loss, we did everything that we could do to save her but the damage was already too extensive, her lungs had already failed her and she was already in constant pain." The doctor bowed his head towards the eleven heads standing in front of him. Eunbi, despite the situation, managed to thank him for his efforts in saving their rapper.

The eleven girls went home, devastated. The presence of a certain eater gnawing in their bruised up minds. Minju grabbed a pen and wrote down hastily in her diary 'ing Cigarettes. ing Cigarettes. ing Cigarettes.' She didn't care whether the pen broke or her pages tore off or her hand bled. She just wants this pain to stop. 


 

"Kang Hyewon. I'm here now." Minju calls the pale girl standing a few meters away from where she was located.

Hyewon looks back at her with a small smile on her face, "I've been waiting."

At that, Minju runs towards her at full sprint and tackles her into a hug, not caring when they stumbled down towards the grass. She encloses her thin arms around Hyewon's neck and buries her face in it. She whiffs the usual minty fragrant that she loved through the years.

"I'm not letting you go now Kwangbae." She mumbles on the rapper's skin.

"Possessive." Hyewon says nonchalantly.

"I love you." Minju looks up to her eyes.

Hyewon's own eyes twinkled in slight happiness before she saying, "I love you too frog."

 

fin.


A/N: I just wanted to write something about Hyejoo because this ship has been trying to sink my Hyekura ship. <3

 

 

 

 

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sanatozaki-mina
so ist es immer - roughly translating to "that's how it always is"

Comments

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minjupocket #1
Chapter 1: tysm even this so ing hurt, i like this🥲✌️
micho0888
#2
Chapter 1: nooooo T^T why why whyyyy ahhh sht the pain afjsdkgsgsh
yujijiji
#3
Chapter 1: pure pain
Belzebub
#4
Chapter 1: ToT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO </3 my heart is broken :(((
baekedgoods #5
Chapter 1: Holy crap. That broke my heart into a million pieces.
tridarid
#6
Chapter 1: You drill a ing hole in my heart. The moment minjoo breaks down.. man that's real sad. Great story anyway. Thank you.
for9275
#7
Chapter 1: :'( found this bc i just want to read hyeju story, didn't expect my heart to get broken </3 t.y for this
Aardappelen
#8
Omg this is so beautiful. Thanks for writing HyeJoo <3
aslan936
#9
Chapter 1: I love this story so much
Thank you for writing about HyeJoo authornim ❤
Mika24
#10
Chapter 1: Omg I'm attacked