Chanyeol gets the tickets to Jongin’s performance showcase a few days later, barely able to look Kyungsoo in the eyes when he tries to remind the giant to get the other ticket to Baekhyun.

The very mention of the smaller boy somehow flusters the giant even more than it had previously, leaving even Kyungsoo shocked at the sight.

Baekhyun had texted him after the incident occurred, speaking like it had never happened, but no matter how nonchalant his friend was staying, it wouldn’t calm the thundering he felt in his chest every time his mind went back to it.

The day of the showcase creeps up on Chanyeol, and before he knows it, he’s stood in front of his dresser’s full length mirror, checking his outfit is okay as Kyungsoo bids him a quick farewell, leaving early to meet Jongin backstage.  

Chanyeol frowned at his reflection, adjusting and readjusting his outfit, ruffling his hair endlessly, sighing as he gave up on trying to fix his appearance, instead choosing to plop onto his bed, stripped bare of its sheets.

In a flurry of mixed emotions and sleepless nights, he visited his sister at her apartment, sharing a few drinks with her in the quiet of the early morning, spilling out his feelings as he lay spread eagle on her floor. In a drunken stupor, she had made the executive decision to give him a makeover to try to boost his confidence, and he left the next morning with a head-splitting headache, hair dyed a dark silver, and a bag full of her boyfriend’s clothes to borrow.

He felt weird.

The clothes he had on were far from what he would normally wear, and despite it flattering his body, he didn’t feel like he had the confidence to wear it out in public. He had wondered for a moment if he should change, but most of his clothes were either back in his parent’s home, or packed away in boxes meant to be brought back soon.

There wasn’t much of a choice in terms of changing his clothes.

Chanyeol was all soft oversized sweaters and unkempt hair, and the sight of him in a leather jacket with his hair styled up and out of his face felt… weird.

He frowned at the ceiling, barely registering the sound of knocking on his door until it became almost incessant.

“It’s open.” He calls, hearing the old door creak open. He and Kyungsoo had spent half the year putting off calling the residence services to get that door oiled, and a strange part of him would miss that sound once he moved out.

“You weren’t answering my texts so I figured I’d just come to you.” Baekhyun’s voice called, causing Chanyeol to sit up in surprise.

Any words that were on Baekhyun’s lips died in his throat as he stared the giant down, the tall boy suddenly remembering how he looked.

“I- uh… Yoora- She uh-“ he stuttered out, gesturing awkwardly to himself. “It wasn’t my idea.”

Chanyeol swears he can see Baekhyun’s Adam’s apple bob for a second. “It looks good,” Baekhyun says with a smile, “You look good, Yoda.”

And the giant can feel those butterflies in his stomach again, suddenly much less self-conscious about his appearance. Baekhyun comes closer, standing directly in front of the giant on his bed, his hand going up to the seated boy’s forehead, brushing back any stray hairs.

“You should wear your hair like this more often,” he says, hand lingering a bit too long before he returned it to his side. “We should head out soon if we don’t wanna be late.”

Chanyeol blinks a few times before nodding dumbly, standing up to follow his friend who had already made his way to the door.

The performance hall isn’t far from Chanyeol’s residence and the pair make it to their destination within a matter of minutes. They say very little on the way—a rare occurrence for the duo, but there’s a strange sort of tension present, though Chanyeol isn’t sure whether or not he’s the only one feeling that way.

It felt like there was too much being left unsaid, but he lacked the courage to bring it up to his friend, opting instead to maintain the silence. Being the bolder of the two, if there was truly something wrong, Baekhyun would most likely bring it up first.

But they arrive without issue, leaving Chanyeol to wonder if he had truly just read too much into their encounter several days ago.

A line had already formed outside of the venue to the giant’s surprise. Baekhyun exhales a bit, sticking his hands in the pocket of his hoodie as he rocked on the balls of his feet.

“It’s easy to forget how big of a deal Jongin is on campus,” Baekhyun murmured. “It’s a little disorienting.”

“Is he really that popular?” Chanyeol asked, peeking his head out of line to see how far it stretched. Baekhyun scoffed.

“He basically has his own fan club. Don’t you hang out with him all the time? How have you never noticed?”

Chanyeol’s lips formed into an ‘o’ for a moment. “That… explains so much. I always wondered why people kept taking pictures of us whenever we hung out, but I just figured my dashing good looks were finally being noticed.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips as he playfully shoved the tall boy’s shoulder back. “You’re so dumb.” He murmured.

“But in a cool, y kinda way, right?”

The small boy only hit his friend’s shoulder again, the tall boy recoiling in mocked pain for a moment.

It doesn’t take long for them to enter the venue, directed towards their seats, the auditorium already bustling with the excited chatter. They shuffle down the rows, narrowly avoiding a few excited girls whispering to each other as they look at the tall boy, making his cheeks go red.

Baekhyun chuckles. “Maybe you really are dumb in a cool, y kinda way.”

“Shut up…” Chanyeol muttered, eyes going down to his feet as he followed the small boy to their seats.

“Should I let them know you’re single? I can be a pretty good wingman~”

The tall boy glared weakly at his small friend, who only gave him a warm smile, reaching for the giant’s hand this time.

“Or maybe I can play boyfriend for the night. Make sure they don’t come begging for your number after the show.”

Chanyeol gulped, wondering if the reddening of Baekhyun’s ears had been his own imagination or not.

He finds it doesn’t matter, not when he hears the boy’s soft laughter as he releases his hand from Chanyeol’s, taking his seat near the stage. It takes the giant a moment to register what had happened, following after his smaller friend and taking a quick seat, trying to ignore his quickening heartbeat.

“Kyungsoo really got us some good seats, huh?” Baekhyun murmured, glancing around at the rest of the auditorium, slowly being filled with people.

“I guess those are the perks of dating the school’s heartthrob,” Chanyeol said with a chuckle. “It must be nice.”  

They settle into a comfortable silence as the auditorium grows louder and louder until its seats are filled and the lights dim, a hush falling over the crowd as soft music began to play. Chanyeol shifted in his seat, sitting up a bit taller as the large stage curtains were drawn to reveal a girl he couldn’t quite place— he assumed it must have been someone in Jongin’s program.

She moved with grace and elegance, making it from one side of the stage to the other in a matter of strides, twirling and twisting all the way over.

Chanyeol would be lying if he said he had any idea of what constituted a good dancer, but he was enjoying his time watching the performance nonetheless, smiling as more entered the stage, joining in on her movements.

It took mere moments before the entire stage was covered in students, moving in coordinated lines and groups until it was almost difficult to focus on a single dancer. At the fever pitch of the music, they slowed to a stop, the stage lights dimming as the students parted down the middle, revealing two figures standing in the centre, silhouetted by the lighting.

Deafening cheers sounded, and the squint of the giant’s eyes identified one of the figures as his friend, though the other remained unknown.

He turned to Baekhyun for a moment, the smaller boy sitting with his mouth agape. It’s with that sight that Chanyeol whipped his head back to the stage just in time to see a spotlight fall upon the pair, none other than Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun.

The giant gulps, but despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, he can’t look away. The rest of the students had cleared the stage by this point, leaving only the two to occupy the entire space, though the mere sight of the two just standing there, eyes trained on each other made it feel anything but. And when they began moving, the crowd cheered almost impossibly louder as the pair move in almost perfect sync, as if they were a single entity.

They commanded the attention of the crowd, the spectators on the edge of their seats, almost reluctant to blink in fear of missing even a moment. 

It feels like seconds that the two dance together, the moment gone before Chanyeol can really register it, and the stage is flooded by students again, the pair disappearing in the waves until the stage is occupied by another performer.

Chanyeol feels like he’s in a daze by the time that the performance is finished, each of the performers coming to give a final bow. Jongin and Sehun enter the stage together, sharing a smile before bowing deeply as the crowd goes wild. As they stand upright again, Chanyeol can see Sehun give Baekhyun a small wave before disappearing back into the ensemble as the next few performers come up to the front to give their thanks to the crowd.

The curtains close on the stage not much later and as the audience begins filing out of their rows, Chanyeol can feel a soft tug on his sleeve, surprised to see his roommate appearing almost out of thin air.

“They’re waiting for us backstage,” Kyungsoo said, just loud enough to be heard in the noise of the auditorium. “Come on, follow me.”

The giant nods, but not before tugging on Baekhyun’s sleeve to make sure he’s following. They take careful steps down the wide steps of the theatre until they find a door, obscured from the seated area. Kyungsoo shoulders the door open, leading the pair down the dark paths like he knew them like the back of his hand— though the giant supposes that he would be familiar with the venue considering how much time he spent there with Jongin.

They reach the green room quickly, Chanyeol taking in the large space filled with performers changing out of their stage outfits. Kyungsoo wastes no time in making a beeline straight to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around the taller boy’s waist as Jongin laughs, holding his shirt in one hand as the other winds around Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol smiles as he follows his friend.

“Yeol!” Jongin called as he took notice of the tall boy, “I’m glad you made it!”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Jongin. You did amazing!”

The dancer cast his gaze down with a bashful smile. “Aw, you don’t have to say that-“

“No, really! It was amazing watching you dance, I can’t believe I’ve known you this whole year without knowing how talented you are!”

Jongin laughs and Kyungsoo nuzzles into his side a little more. “I’m proud of you.” Chanyeol can hear the smaller boy say softly, turning to give the two a little bit of privacy. He turns to say something to Baekhyun, but finds the boy searching the room, almost like he’s lost. But a sparkle appears in his eyes, Chanyeol following the small boy’s gaze to see Sehun coming towards them.

Baekhyun smiled, closing the distance between the two and throwing his arms around the boy’s shoulders, Sehun pulling him close and leaving a peck on his head.

“I thought you were still out of town! Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be performing here?” Baekhyun asked as he pulled away, large smile on his face.

Sehun smiled back, lifting a hand to brush against the small boy’s cheek. “My school’s dance program organized a special project in collaboration with your school’s program, and I got the opportunity to join. I was gonna tell you, but I heard you already got tickets from Jongin, so I wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“You did amazing!” Baekhyun exclaimed, going back for another hug, Sehun readily embracing him back.

Chanyeol stood awkwardly in the middle of the two couples, feeling increasingly out of place in the room. Jongin smiles sympathetically.

“It’ll take a bit for us to finish packing up,” Jongin said as Kyungsoo finally unwound himself from around his waist, “How about you guys wait outside and we’ll meet you guys out there when we’re done? We can all go grab dinner together.”

Kyungsoo and Jongin exchange a quick look before the smaller grabs onto Chanyeol’s arm. “We’ll meet you outside in a bit, Baekhyun. Chanyeol was bugging me about needing the washroom so I’ll just take him really quick.” He said quickly, dragging his friend out and further down the hallway they had entered from.

“How did you never mention that Sehun was the one Baekhyun was dating?” Kyungsoo whispered furiously as they took brisk steps further down the corridor.

“I didn’t think your paths would’ve ever crossed!” Chanyeol whispered back. “He goes to school on the other side of town, the odds weren’t exactly in your favour!”

Kyungsoo sighed, stretching out his neck to make sure the hallway was still empty.

“Are you gonna be alright with him coming to dinner with us? I can tell them you weren’t feeling well if you want to go home early.”

Chanyeol shook his head. “It’s Jongin’s big day, I want to be there to celebrate it with him. Even if that means sitting through a meal with Sehun.”

There’s a pregnant pause between the two for a moment as Kyungsoo pressed his lips in a tight line, almost as if he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

“You know, he’s actually a really cool guy, once you get to know him,” the shorter boy said. “I think you guys could have become really good friends, if things were a little different.”

Chanyeol opened his mouth to speak, but found no words to say, standing silently as Kyungsoo began walking away, not waiting for his friend to follow.

By the time the giant reacts, the small boy is already out of sight.

~~~~~

Chanyeol leaves the building after a few moments, retracing his steps to find everyone huddled together at the front doors of the auditorium.

The walk to the restaurant is a short one, the group deciding to eat at a local barbeque restaurant that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo frequented over their year of living together. They settled into a large table, placing their order as Chanyeol shifted around uncomfortably in his seat.

He sat almost directly across from Sehun, the tall boy making quick eye contact before looking away, looking almost as uncomfortable as Chanyeol felt. He sees Baekhyun shift from his place next to Sehun, scooting a bit closer to Kyungsoo seated next to him, striking up conversation with the boy and his boyfriend.

Chanyeol cleared his throat. “So, uh… Are you a performance major too?” he asked Sehun, who appeared to be surprised by the sudden question.

Sehun blinked a few times before shaking his head. “I’m, uh, actually studying psychology.”

“Oh.”

There was a pause between them.

“So how did you end up at the showcase?”

“I took a dance course first semester and I got recommended for the performance by my prof.”

“Oh. You must have been pretty good then.”

“Yeah, I’ve been dancing since I was little.”

“I see.”

“So… what are you majoring in?” Sehun asked after a few moments.

“I’m studying economics.”

Silence fell between the two again, the two of them still looking as uncomfortable as ever.

The waiter returned to their table as the pair avoided eye contact, putting down bottles of beer and plates of meat. Jongin reached over Chanyeol, grabbing a beer and popping off its lid before handing it to him.

“Loosen up a bit,” Jongin said softly so only Chanyeol could hear. “You look like you’re sitting through a bad interview.”

Chanyeol squinted at his friend, but took the bottle nonetheless, taking a sip.

It took a while before Chanyeol could relax, still feeling tense into his third beer. But as he felt the warmth settle to the pit of his stomach and his cheeks start to warm, his quiet demeanour for the night suddenly fizzling out in favour of boisterous laughs and a few heavy-handed slaps to Jongin’s side.

He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol clouding his system, but he thinks he sees Sehun loosen up too. He knows he’s never been close to Sehun— after all, his interactions had been limited to passing glances in the halls throughout high school and the occasional forced pleasantries exchanged whenever they met because of Baekhyun.

But even Chanyeol knows there’s something different about Sehun now than the Sehun he’s known for years.

He’s only ever known Sehun as a stoic, straight faced statue, and as stupid as it sounds, the sight of the boy smiling seemed… weird. 

It almost seemed foreign to Chanyeol. Like he was meeting Sehun for the first time.

And honestly, it might as well have been the first time.

The sight of the tall boy throwing his head back in an uproarious laugh, hands clapping as he threw his body back against his chair— it pulled the corners of Chanyeol’s mouth up until he was doing the same.

He wonders for a moment when Sehun had changed, if he had ever even changed at all. Had this been the Sehun that Chanyeol had known of all this time?

But his attention shifts for a moment, and he sees Baekhyun. But for once, he’s not looking at Sehun. Baekhyun’s gaze is trained right… at him.

Looking at Chanyeol like he was his whole world, a soft smile on his lips as he watches with a warm gaze. But as soon as it had happened, it had stopped. And Baekhyun’s attention shifted back to Sehun and Chanyeol can feel something ugly blooming in his chest again.

The giant frowns before grabbing another bottle of beer, taking a swing until the feeling was replaced with more warmth.

He clears bottles of beer like they’re water, until Jongin is laughing, swatting Chanyeol’s hand every time it dared get close to any more bottles. The giant gives the boy a weak glare, which only causes his other friends to laugh at the sight, and without really knowing why, Chanyeol laughs too.

He feels light. The lightest he’s felt in a while.

For the first time in too long, it felt like he was free.

He wasn’t sure from what, but the elation in his heart from sharing a night with some of his closest friends in celebration, from being able to breathe again without the stress of school, from being so unburdened.

But when he sees Sehun standing, bidding the rest of the table an apologetic goodbye (something about needing to be somewhere the next morning), sees Baekhyun follow him to see him out, he remembers that he wasn’t unburdened.

He remembers that there was something weighing on his heart when he catches a glimpse of the pair outside the restaurant. A taxi slows to a stop and Sehun embraces Baekhyun with a warm hug before pulling back slightly to press a chaste kiss on his cheek. The small boy beams, watching as his boyfriend boarded the car, watching as it disappeared out of his sight before returning inside.

He hates how it makes him feel, hates how long he’s gone keeping it all to himself.

He just wants the feeling to stop.

It had been years of unrequited love for his best friend, and Chanyeol is ready to make the feeling stop.