It wasn’t a simple decicion to come back to Seoul, but with the funeral of my grandma coming up, I decided it’s time to change and time to start somewhere new. The relathionship with my granny was distant but I liked her, my parents and I payed her a visit in Seoul every summer, the memories of a warm summer breeze that mess up my fringe and playing card games with her on the porch when I was small, still make me smile. But after my parents divorced when I was 16 we stopped visiting and the only way we kept in contact was through phone, because the money was not enough to pay for a flight. Now that I’m 20 and she is dead, I wanted to pay her respect, fly to Seoul and try to find my home there. Truth is, America never felt home to me, I never felt that I belong, not in School, not in Work, not even at home with my mom, it was like “okay” but this constant emotion of okayness made me realice, life should be more, not just okay, I want the feel imense love and even great pain, I want all the downs and the ups that follow. I want to be recless, spontanious, work where I can, make new friends, find my home and enjoy what I have, I want my life to be everything but okay. So moving to Seoul was my first step, I found an apartment rather quickly, it was cheap and had room for 8 people. In the discription it statet “boy preferred” so it was a surprise that they took me in, maybe because they thought I’m a boy, due to my uni name Kim Jimin and my discription, that had not the most feminine touch, but they never stated that a girl wouldn’t be welcome, so I tried anyway.

Sitting on the plane, my mind was occupied by worries how everything will turn out, but don’t get me wrong, even the worries excited me, my body felt alive, electrified. The speakers told the pessangers that the airplane would arrive shortly. The funeral of my granny will be in two weeks, till then it’s time to find a job, get to know my roommates and try my best to live.

After the plane landed, a nearby taxi drove me to my new apartment. When I was entering the bildiung the first thing I noticed was the “Defect” sign on the elevator, well I wished for more excitement but the lazyness in my body was for sure not gone, the nearby stairs didn’t look that appealing, espacially with the thought in mind, that I needed to take my two big suitcase to the 4^th floor. God damn, I’m gonna die. At that the front door of the building opend and two boys maybe my age walked in. “And u never know, what he said to me, something like “cute stuff is for girls” and wtf, he must live a ing sad life, if that is his believe, he even…” The guy with blond-grayish hair halted and looked at me, then at his friend, then back at me. “..hey you, are u new here, the elevator is broken, but we can help u carry your siutcases if u want” said the same guy, while the other one with the slightly blue hair shrugged, as if he was okay with it, but wouldn’t have offered if he were alone with me. “That would be amazing, I need to go to the 4^th floor, and was afraid I would die on the way there, escpecially with these weak arms of mine”, I said and the eyes of the taller one of them grew wide, “we need to got there too, maybe u are the new roomate of apartement on our left ” So they took my suitcases and carried them for me, that left me with my handbag and a guilty feeling, cuz I didn’t want them to do all the work. “Hey guys u don’t need to carry it all the way, or I can help and we carry it thogether?” “It’s okay”, were the word of the blue haired boy. Arraving at the 4^th floor I searched for the number 214, I halted at the door, “guys, this is my new home”, I smiled at them but their faces looked confused, “But this is also our home”, gray boy said. A little to late, cuz I already rang the bell, and the door opend, with 5 more confused faces starying at me.

I sat on the couch in the living room with seven guys looking my way, handsome guys btw, it was more than embarrasing. "U know, for i guy u look rather feminin" the tall tanned boy with blond hair said and smirked my way. "Well u never said, girls were forbidden and I was never asked if I was a girl, sooooo I ..I'm here and after seeing u all and the apartment, I really want to stay, well not that I have an other option right now." I looked at them with a pout. The gray haired boy made his way to me on the couch and squeeshed my cheeks thogether with his hands to my surprise, he looked at the tall one and stated his opinion "Namjoon, she cute, can we keep here?" "Oh god Tae, she is not a toy u can play with, keep ur hands by yourself" Tae pouted and let my poor cheeks go. I put my hands on my cheeks and felt a blush, I couldn't handle this much cuteness of this so-called Tae. In the mean time the faces off the other guys in the room, where filled with mixed emotions, some friendly, some had no expression and one not so happy face, from a tall black-haired guy, that apparently wasn't fond of the idea to live with a girl. After 2 minutes of uncompfy silence, the Namjoon guy said "Now you are here, and I think we can make that work, welcome to your new home, my name is Namjoon, but my friends call me joonie" I jumped up from my seat and shook the hand he held in my direction exitced. “God, u will not regret this decision, thank u for giving me a home” Namjoons face lit up as reaction to my happiness and Tae patted my shoulder and said “Welcome home”.