There was no way, was Hyukjae's first thought when the doctor told him that Donghae would suffer from long-term memory loss. Although there's a good chance that he will still remember you, the doctor tried to reassure him and Hyukjae held on to that "good chance" until the moment wherein he was finally given the chance to see Donghae. He was in the middle of getting a good night's sleep when he received a call from Leeteuk, his voice was so frantic that Hyukjae first had difficulty understanding what he was trying to say, and he was also crying like crazy which only made everything harder, but when he had finally connected the dots after repeatedly hearing the words car accident and Donghae, he was out of his apartment the minute after. His heart was thumping so hard inside his ribcage that he thought it was starting to literally hurt. His eyes were welling up all the way from getting into his car up until arriving at the hospital - the only reason why his tears didn't successfully manage to fall from his eyes was that he kept on wiping them away with the back of his hand, telling himself that he needed to focus on driving or else it would be him and Donghae at the hospital.

Hyukjae's tears finally found their way down his cheeks when he was met by Leeteuk, the older's eyes were red shot and his whole frame was shaking as he remained seated in a hospital bed after getting his wounds treated. Leeteuk knew that he shouldn't be the one breaking down, that he should be the one stronger between him and Hyukjae, but how could he do that if he literally saw life almost slipping away from Donghae's eyes? I asked him to pick me up, Leeteuk managed to utter those words after calming himself down a few minutes after. And he d-did... and we were on o-our way to m-my house when suddenly there was t-this... t-this car just coming straight at us... and the older had to stop for a moment because of big sobs escaping from him once again. Hyukjae couldn't be selfish, that was what he was thinking. He knew that it should be him sobbing like a maniac and stuttering here and there since he was Donghae's fiancé after all, but it was Leeteuk who was there with him. It didn't mean that Hyukjae wasn't bawling his own eyes out as Leeteuk went on with the story, a-and... it came from Donghae's side and n-next thing I knew the car had tumbled a few times already and Do-Donghae... oh Donghae-yah... we were hanging upside down inside the c-car and I tried to wake him up because I know we had to get out of t-there... then h-he opened his eyes for a split second to l-look at me and... oh my god, Hyukjae... Hyukjae didn't want to listen anymore. He didn't want to listen to somebody, anybody, telling a story about how the love of his life almost died; he just wanted to see him at that point, but he stayed and listened to Leeteuk because he wasn't sure if his heart could already handle seeing Donghae lying still, fighting for his life. So the older continued, he w-wanted to say s-something, but no words came out from him. I managed to get us o-out and I wouldn't be able to d-do that if it wasn't for Donghae who tried so hard to get himself out of his seatbelt and the car... h-he's so brave, Hyukjae. I could s-see all this blood all over his head and body, and how much pain he was in, b-but he t-tried and we got out and... and then he looked at me and that was it. Donghae had been unconscious since then, but after almost two days of torturing hours of waiting and waiting for him to wake up that Hyukjae felt like he was being suffocated the whole time, he finally did wake up.

Hyukjae just advised Donghae's parents to go back to their hotel to rest for a while after being with him since the morning of the first day when Donghae was still unconscious when the doctor announced that Donghae was fine, still critical, but not in a life-or-death situation anymore. He had tens of stitches all over his body, but mostly in his head, and two broken ribs; although those were not the worst part, Donghae suffered from a serious blow at the head which led to permanent damage to some parts of his brain, and by permanent damage, the doctor meant long-term memory loss. Progressive retrograde amnesia, as to how the doctor had put it. We won't be able to tell yet if he lost a year-worth of memories or a decade-worth until he wakes up. And by progressive, it means it only gets worse over time. He will still be able to create new memories and... the doctor kept on explaining to make him understand Donghae's condition. To summarize everything that he heard, they wouldn't be able to tell yet if he would lose a year or decade's worth of memories or maybe something in between those years, not until he woke up, and that the amnesia would only get worse gradually. Although Donghae would mostly forget about facts and details, but not skills, which meant he would still know how to sing, how to dance, cook, drive, and the other skills he possessed. But what was Hyukjae's takeaway from the information? There was no way that Donghae would forget him. Donghae could forget what Hyukjae's favorite color was or how Hyukjae liked it every time Donghae would snuggle his face on the crook of Hyukjae's neck or how Donghae always had a routine of playing with Hyukjae's hands, starting from his wrists down to the back of his hands then he would turn them around so he could run his fingers along his palms, and he would kiss each of his fingertips before finally intertwining their hands together. But forgetting Hyukjae and how they spent almost half of their lives madly in love with each other, there was no way.

So you could just imagine how Hyukjae's heart leaped with joy when he went inside Donghae's room after the doctor informed him that he was finally awake and then the first word that escaped from the younger's mouth was Hyukjae, and it was spoken so softly and so weakly that Hyukjae almost cried again. He was all smiles and tears as he held Donghae's hand and kissed it nonstop, telling him that everything was fine and he should go rest and get better soon, but Hyukjae's happiness was cut short when he eventually realized that, yes, Donghae could remember his face and his name, but the man couldn't recall being with him, couldn't recall being in love with him. All he could remember was his trainee days with Hyukjae, how Donghae deeply treasured their friendship, and how happy he was to be Hyukjae's only best friend. And the other desperately tried to tell him again and again that yeah, you're my best friend, but can't you remember? We eventually fell in love and got together, and we dated for years until I proposed to you on the top of that cliff somewhere in Hawaii, remember?  and usually, that was when Donghae would furrow his eyebrows in confusion as he would try to remember those things happening before in his life, but no, he really couldn't, and that was when Hyukjae would end with tears b his eyes, and you said yes. You said yes to me, Donghae. That you will marry me on this beach in Bali and that we'll start our own family in Switzerland and that you want to adopt three kids. And then Donghae would look at him with so much despair and pain and hurt because Hyukjae was his best friend, and he didn't like seeing him so sad and so longing for something he had no memories about.

Hyukjae spent days and weeks depressed over the fact that Donghae could remember him, but what was the point of him remembering his face and his name, if all the feelings and emotions that used to come with it were just... forgotten? Maybe it would be much better if Donghae couldn't remember him at all instead - that way, he could convince himself that the reason why Donghae couldn't remember being with him was he didn't have any idea who he was. It would probably be much easier, not better actually, but easier. Until Hyukjae came to a decision that he would make Donghae remember, no matter what and how long it would take him. He already promised to spend a lifetime with him after all.

"Okay," was Donghae's short reply when Hyukjae told him about his plan. The younger thought that it was the least thing that he could do for his best friend - to show him that he was at least trying to remember.

So Hyukjae was a beaming ball of sunshine when he took Donghae to the restaurant where they had their first dinner date - they were both so wrapped up in clothes that the other people wouldn't recognize that it was them, Eunhyuk and Donghae going out on a date together. Donghae couldn't remember being there before, but he still loved the food as much as he did the first time, and Hyukjae thought that it was a progress; then he took him to that arcade house where they once spent almost a whole day playing their hearts out. Hyukjae claimed before that it had been a while since he went to an arcade house, so Donghae arranged a little surprise and reserved the whole place for them, but later sulking so hard because Hyukjae kept on beating him at everything; and then that specific spot somewhere in Daegu where Hyukjae kissed Donghae for the first time, although he didn't kiss Donghae when he took him there the second time - he didn't want to freak the other out and Donghae actually appreciated that. But still, with all Hyukjae's efforts, Donghae couldn't remember. And as Hyukjae's final resort, he booked two plane tickets to Hawaii and took Donghae to the top of that cliff, hoping... begging the heavens and earth that Donghae would somehow remember how their emotions and feelings and affections and love for each other had exploded all at once when Hyukjae kneeled down and asked Donghae to marry him, to spend the rest of Donghae's life with him and promising him that Hyukjae would spend the rest of his life staying faithful to Donghae. And how Donghae cried like a little baby that Hyukjae had to hold him close because he was afraid that the other might actually fall from the cliff if he wouldn't. 

But when they came back there again, Donghae looked over the cliff, admiring the beauty around and below them, and had that faint smile painted on his face. If Hyukjae wasn't exaggerating when he told him how happy and in love they both were