Donghae was lucky to age well. He still had his thick and sleek hair, only that it had strands of grey in between the browns. Though clearly aged, his eyes were as mesmerising as when he was a younger pop star.

His wife, Dara was sitting beside him, a tight smile on her face woven between her two thin lips. Her eyes were a dark brown, hidden beneath the sheath of full eyelashes and red dress. Her hair had been pinned up in a fashionable up-do and she had donned some expensive jewels. She could have passed for the groom's sister, instead of his mother. 

"You could look a little happier," she said, leaning over to him. They were in the courtyard of their landed property, sitting at the front of the two hundred guests that had congregated to witness the marriage of Lee Hyunwoo and Kim Taeyeon.

"I'm fine."

The music from the string quartet began to sweeten the night air and the entire crowd turned to face the small double doors that led out from the property itself. The doors opened slowly and confetti on either side of the doors started going off on the emerging figure, whose face sent Donghae's heart into a flurry of emotions.

Kim Taeyeon looked a lot more like her mother than Donghae had originally thought. He had only seen her twice before: once during the open-house at SM a couple of years back, and the second time when she had come with Hyunwoo to announce their engagement. Her hair was darker than he remembered, curling at the edges and hinting at her mother's curly waves. She was wearing a strapless white dress, the training dragging along the red carpet as she walked towards his son at the other end of the courtyard with Kim Junmyeon.

It was when Donghae turned to examine the look of childish sadness in Junmyeon's eyes that he saw her at the farther end of the courtyard, wearing a silver dress that glittered under the moonlight and reminded Donghae of a star brought down to Earth. She was standing in the shadows, smiling and crying at the same time and he knew she didn't want to take away any attention from her daughter's happy day. 

Taeyeon reached Hyunwoo with a wide smile on her face, curved at the ends of her lips that reminded Donghae so much of Joohyun's. Hyunwoo looked like a happier version of Donghae's younger self. He was wearing a black suit with a lapel pin of the Lee family's emblem. As the minister started talking, Donghae's mind had wandered off back eleven years ago, on that fateful day at the lobby when they had all gone to see their children off to SM. 

That had been the first time since the end of their KPOP era that Donghae had seen her. He knew she had married Junmyeon, he'd been told several times about it; Dara even mentioned it to him twice but it had felt like a whole new wound reopening when he saw that ring on her finger. And here he was again, eleven years later, knowing that she had two children, lived a happy life with a man who loved her and it felt as if someone was taking a knife and ripping open old stitches.

She was standing at the back, far away from her seat at the front of the crowd where her ex-groupmate, Joy and Junmyeon's best friend, Sehun sat with their own children and the rest of the immediate Kim family members. There was a seat empty beside Sehun and it took Donghae a few seconds to realize that Junmyeon hadn’t gone back to his original seat but rather, walked over to the back of the crowd to stand with Joohyun.

Another stab.

What if he had stopped her that night?

What if, instead of letting her walk away, he had pulled her back into his arms, hugged her and kissed her until he knew she would never leave him, even if he ignored his deepest darkest fears. Even if he gave up the chance of saving her and her career?

***

Donghae was sitting cross-legged on the floor at their usual spot under a tree at Han River. It was well into the wee hours of the morning and no one was around. He ran his fingers through the grass around him, absentmindedly, thinking of his current life as an idol. 

He loved his life; he honestly did. He got to do what he loves—sing, dance and occasionally act. But he hated the rules and conditions that came with it. Sometimes it feels like he was imprisoned by his company when they forbade him from doing things that most deemed normal. Like dating, for example. All because of his fans. He loved his fans, but he hated them a bit too. They would never agree to let Donghae date in peace. They would never let anyone be with their Donghae Oppa.

Earlier that day, he had stumbled across online a couple of rude comments by his 'fans' all aimed at Joohyun. They had called her all kinds of hateful names just because they may have sat a tad bit too close to each other, laughing over something Eunhyuk was saying. If the fans thought they were only friends, what will their reaction be when they found out the truth?

He sighed exasperatedly, knowing the outcome. "..."

"Since when do you curse?" A delicate voice sounded behind him. 

He craned his neck to see Joohyun taking a seat next to him. She leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Have you been waiting long?"

He shook his head. "I'm just glad you're here now." He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. 

They sat there in silence for a moment, enjoying each other's presence. Donghae sighed again.

"What's wrong?" She asked, pulling back slightly. 

"I just- Ugh!" Donghae mumbled, rubbing his forehead. "Sometimes I really hate my fans, you know? They think they own me."

Joohyun smiled softly. She knew exactly what he was talking about. "Hae, you have to remember that without these fans, you wouldn't be where you are right now."

"I know..." He said dejectedly. "I just hate that they're throwing shades at you just because of one high-five and a cute little smile my way."

She chuckled, leaning in to kiss him again. "Well, you are pretty cute. I understand why your fans are possessive," she teased. 

He pulled away and glared at her. "I'm being serious. They're saying nasty things about you."

"I know, babe. We just have to ignore them," Joohyun whispered, snuggling closer to him and leaning her head on his shoulder. "They have nothing better to do in their lives other than to bring people down. We can't let comments like that get to us."

Donghae frowned as he stared off into the distance, taking in her words. "Hey, Joohyun?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?" He asked.

She lifted her head off his shoulder to gaze at him, giving him the most loved-up look ever and he wanted to kill himself for what he was about to tell her. She had this soft smile on her face when she breathed, "I really am."

"Your career