“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.”
― Neil Gaiman 

Baekhyun repeat the same quotes, of his favourite author, over and over again. Lost hopes ? Baekhyun thought he have lots of lost hopes. He didn't have the guts to recall each of them back, even if Sehun had told him to get over it, move on and looking forward. The past is in the past, but lost hopes aren't something similar to the past and he hope Sehun understand those too.

' Your dream is always counting on you not to ever lose hope, because its survival depends on your thoughts ' He slowly whisper, closing the book and glancing over the standing clock. It's Jongdae's present for their 3th Anniversary this year. 

One hour more before Sehun come back from work and he still didn't cook something for their dinner. Somehow the way Sehun react around kids kept playing at the back of his mind, nagging and teasing him of not be able to have their own kids. Is this the lost hope ? A hope to have a small family with Sehun and their kids, but considering of how Sehun hates kids so much makes him feel sick. He can't get pregnant randomly, not even when Sehun still struggling to use in bed to say the most. After all, he is a man and the chances to get pregnant is almost impossible, right ?

Baekhyun sigh, ruffling his already messy hairs and get up from his chair, walking slowly downstairs. These past few weeks, Sehun has been acting weird too. He often said Baekhyun needed to change his perfume, but when he did, Sehun told him not to use any and he obey. Sehun always feels sick in the morning, throw up every night and even can finish a whole ramen, when he usually hated it. He's being a crybaby, for a very small problem or when Chanyeol beat him in their stupid games or when Jongdae steal his favourite ice cream. Sehun always take his small sweater to work without specific reasons. He said it's because Baekhyun's scent was a medicine to his headache and Baekhyun will worry to death but since his husband reassuring him that he's okay, then he is okay. It's weird and something inside him stir. Is he sick ?

The front door open at the same time Baekhyun's last foot leaving the last stair, and he freeze. This days getting worse and he can feel it from the bottom of his soul. He yell, rushing to the weak boy in front of the door, and take him inside. Sehun looks horrible. His face is red, eyes shut close, sweating and he's nearing throwing up but luckily Baekhyun is there. 

' Sehun, are you okay? ' Panic attack is not everyone favourite and Baekhyun agreed this time. He's been moping around, watching Sehun lay down on their couch. His husband growl, groaning and panting. 

Baekhyun's mind went blank. He observe from a safe distance, afraid Sehun might clawing on his face, and frowning. Sehun aren't sick, didn't he ? If he is, then why is he hiding it ?

' Sehun, I'm going to take you to the hospital and I don't care if you hate it ' He said, lastly and Sehun mumble something incoherent but Baekhyun catch few of it. Something like, ' I hate hospital ' and went along the line of stupid needles and stupid doctors and the foods. Baekhyun run upstairs, ignoring the sudden pain inside of his tummy to take his stuff and run back downstairs.

Sehun groan, waving his weak hand. ' You idiot ' He finally said but smile after when Baekhyun leaving few kisses on his lips. He's sweating so much.

' Gotta call the ambulance, I'm not that strong to carry