Too much. Kris had missed too much, spent too little time with Junmyeon. 

In the three days they had spent together, had coped up in their hotel room, they had argued so many times that their love had been marred enough where both were on edge.  

Kris stared at the man that was once his beloved husband standing on the other side of the table. He remembered the first time he saw the gorgeous male, the floor looking especially friendly to sink down to as he was struck with the immense beauty Suho held. Now though, Kris couldn’t see any of that. Perhaps he had actually fallen out of love with Suho. 

“I’m going to do something that would make this situation better for both of us,” Kris began, moving his hands to his neck to remove his necklace, and action that stabbed at Suho’s still beating heart. 

“I don’t think I love you anymore Junmyeon, I’m sorry.” 

Junmyeon felt the world stop rotating, frozen at the impossibility of the words being thrown at him, driving the shards tearing his heart apart further in, thirsty for the black blood that flowed through his veins. 

Blinking multiple times, the younger male tried to stop the tears from leaving his eyes as he followed them with bated breath the hands of his husband when they lowered the necklace with their- his- wedding ring to the table. Kris really had fallen out of love with him and he was annoying just holding onto the shards of their marriage, the glass pieces cutting his hands as he wished to be able to keep holding on, but he couldn’t anymore now. 

Kris gave Suho one last half smile before walking to the door and out of Junmyeon’s life, permanently this time around. With a soft click, his husband was gone, taking Junmyeon’s heart with him, selfishly holding it so that no one else could have it. 

An overwhelming sense of loneliness filed the young idol, and he mindlessly collapsed on the floor, his head making a soft thud as it hit the carpet. The brown eyes stared at the off white wall that he hated the moment he stepped into the room. He had even more reason to read it now. 

With a switch of a leveler, the remaining leader of EXO began to sob, curling in on himself as he brought the hand that still had his wedding ring on (it was staying on, he wasn’t going to take it off again, he swore, just please come back) to his face, the blurred gold in his teary vision causing more water to spill from his eyes and he opened his mouth, uttering a single sentence, 

“You’ve ruined me, Wu Yifan.”

Suho hated the color black, it never failed to make him feel like he was nothing. The color consumed him whenever he stood at its edge, angry and cold, like Kris’s expression when he uttered those heartbreaking words. 

But now all Suho felt was black. 

The cold numbness of a lover scorned, of a broken soul, of a wronged spouse.

Had Kris wronged him?

He had, Kris had wronged his very heart, the lightness of his blue, his blue that was too bright, too pure. 

An artist never starts with light colors first, they get covered with darker ones too easily. 

Junmyeon was not an artist though, because his blue was the sky, the joy in his life that he foolishly thought Kris brought. He painted their lilac using his sky blue. The lilac was dead, like Junmyeon’s blue. 

Junmyeon’s blue was not blue, it was black, dark, cold and betrayed, hissing in pain but refusing to its wounds.

Junmyeon’s black was the black of anger, of lost love, of despair.

His heart no longer bled the bright red it used to when Kris left him one final time, oh no. It had darkened to a soul-consuming black. 

Black bags under his eyes from his lack of sleep, Black on his canvas from the darkening of blue, black in the tears of his soul, pieces Kris had taken a knife to when he distanced himself when he left. 

Everyone assumes that depression is a blue color from the sadness that follows. 

It’s not. 

Calling depression blue is too basic. 

Depression is black, with the endless nothingness of the color a perfect metaphor for the emptiness in one’s soul.