×
4.5.2019

"Well this is awkward." 

Chaeyoung's gaze shifted from her own mirror reflection to the one belonging to a woman standing beside her. She was in the bathroom fixing up her makeup, and definitely not hiding from anyone or anything. 

"Oh," she didn't know what to say, where to look, what to do,"hey."

The woman walked closer to the sink and broke their eye contact. "You missed the ceremony."

Chaeyoung looked at her trembling hand and gulped. "Yeah, sorry. The traffic was crazy today."

"I can imagine," a dry laugh filled the small bathroom.

They both went silent for a moment, neither of them knew what to say. It's been a while since they were both in the same room, alone. The days when they were closer than sisters were long gone. Now, they were no more than strangers. 

×
3.9.2012

The door to the dorm room slowly opened. Chaeyoung walked in and closed the door beside her with a simple push. She noticed someone on the already occupied bed, but chose to put all the moving boxes she was carrying down first. She dusted off her jeans and finally turned to the person (her roommate?) she noticed earlier. Correction: people she noticed earlier.

Two girls were lying on one of the beds, basically on top of each other, making out. Chaeyoung, shocked at the sight of a opening happening right before her eyes, in her brand new dorm room, turned around to leave. 

The sound of the door opening made the couple finally separate and notice the very terrified and guilty looking woman standing in the doorway.

The haired girl jumped off the bed and away from her partner.

"I'm so sorry," her voice was thin with embarrassment. She nugded the girl she was so eagerly kissing just a minute ago, "Lisa, would you mind?"

The blonde finally got the memo and got up. "Oh my god! Of course," her voice was an octave higher than it should have been, but she still radiated confidence and beauty. She walked towards the door and stopped just in front of Chaeyoung. 

"I'm Lisa," she reached out to shake her hand, but quickly dropped it when Chaeyoung didn't react. "See you around."

Ans just like that, the two girls were left alone for the very first time.

×
4.5.2019

Chaeyoung stared at the sink, examining every single scar, scratch or drop of water. A wave of memories hit her. How the two of them would spend every single second of their lives together, how they used to share every aspect, every detail with one another. She didn't miss things, she only missed people. One person, to be exact.

She almost forgot the other woman was there with her, until she cleared to get her attention.

"Rosie," just this simple word sent shivers running down her spine. She was still the only person who called her that, at least back here in Korea. 

She looked up at the woman, against her own will, and their eyes met. She broke your heart, not the other way around, she thought, don't feel guilty.

Still, when she saw the look on her face, she couldn't help but wonder. Did she regret her choice? Any of them by that matter. She almost opened to ask, but the other woman spoke first.

×
14.6.2016

"I can't believe we're finally graduating," Chaeyoung let out a sigh full of nostalgia.

"I can," her roommate replied, "Those were the worst four years of my life."

Chaeyoug rolled her eyes and poked her, "Stop being so grumpy. You're going to miss all of this in a few years, I promise."

"Miss? College? Never," the girl continued packing but still added, "The only thing I'm going to miss is you."

"Hey, why would you miss me? I'm not going anywhere."

Chaeyoung felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist. She reached out and intertwined their fingers.

"Do you promise?" her voice was filled with sorrow and gloom.

"I promise," Chaeyoung replied, just before their lips met.

×
4.5.2019

"I like your new hair color. Blonde really suits you."

Chaeyoung couldn't help herself but feel disappointed. She didn't know what she expected, really. A confession of undying love? This wasn't a romantic drama; this was real life. Her life. In other words, a tragedy.

She still forced herself to smile and reply, "I'm glad you like it."

And even add, "I'm so happy for you."

×
11.2.2017

The raindrops were hitting hard and fast against the window. The sky was grey and dark, the temperature in the whole room felt to be lower than it actually was.

"Chaeyoung, just hear me out,"

"What is there to hear out? You don't have feelings for me, got it." her voice was bitter and thick with regret.

"People fall out of love, it happens." the woman seemed calm and collected, but the look on her face said otherwise, "I'm really sorry, but you deserve to know the truth."

"Is that the truth then? That you don't love me?" Chaeyoung looked up to meet her eyes, her heart beating fast, "Say it."

She lowered her sight and stared at the girl's palms. She waited and waited. Until finally.

"I don't," the moment she opened , her hands stormed up to fiddle with her long black hair, "I don't love you."

Chaeyoung wanted to cry. She knew the other woman too well. The only time she ever played with her hair was when she wasn't saying the truth.

×
4.5.2019

She smiled, "Thank you, it means a lot. I still can't believe this is my wedding day."

"Neither can I." 

The woman took a deep breath before saying, "You will fall in love again, I know it."

No I won't. How could I? How could I evet love someone as much as I love you? Chaeyoung felt betrayed in a strange kind of way.

She wasn't strong enough to tell her, to vocalize everything she felt on the inside. Still, she mustered up the courage to ask one last question, "Jennie, are you happy with him?"

The other woman smiled, "Of course I am, Rosie. I just married him." 

Her fingers didn't come anywhere near the tips of her hair.