Via

 

I stopped running when I finally felt that it was safe not to see him. I was catching my breath and was panting hard... I sat at the bench at the park. Mela, Krys and Tanya sat with me.

"I wasn't able to see his reaction because I ran away immediately.. So how was it? How did he react?"

"He was poker faced" - said Mela.

"No... No... I think he was surprised then pokered faced... or pokered faced then surprised... not sure with the sequence though. Because he may be surprised first but then realized he shouldn't react or he may have not grasped the confession and realized it after that's why he was surprised." - Tanya said and as usual with all her reasoning.

"Do you think he'd get mad at me?" - I asked... I was afraid he'd be angry about it.

"Mad? Why would he be?" - Mela asked.

"Yeah, Why would he be? It was only a confession. Only jerk men would get angry by a confession or worse be grossed out by it. I think Jian's a gentlemen, he's too kind to act like a douche." - Tanya and her great life concepts, again.

"Unless... unless he finds out that he was your flavor of the week?" - Mela remarked...

 

And we became silent...

 

No... no... I am not a playgirl. Haha. That would be an overstatement for a girl like me. It definitely does not suit me. I don't look like a goddess, nor I look like a y, hot girl. I am just plain, I don't standout, but at least I don't standout negatively. But sometimes I overdress looking funky or trendy and sometimes I just want comfort that I just put some ragged shorts or jeans on with a shirt. They accuse me of being lesbian at times. Another thing that is prominent about me is my cheeks, yes I am quite plump but my cheeks are outstandingly chubby. As for if I am pretty or not, I'd say I am pretty but most of the time I feel ugly. Maybe it's true they say that it isn't about the way you look but how you feel about yourself. Ha-ha-ha... scratch that, I am not pretty. So Jian was not a victim of a prank. The truth is I really like him. It's just that there should be someone whom be a subject of interest this week. So how did I end up in the midst of this mess. Why did I agree on this?

 

Two weeks ago, Mela proposed to me that we will have this Flavor of the week. This flavor of the week works by giving something to our crush and confess to them that we like them. She argued that we were graduating anyway and we were singles, and in my case I'm an NBSB. It was a way to express our feelings but even if we deny it, in our hearts there's a thought of hope that our affection can be returned.

 

Obviously, I am in. Last week, even though I agreed to it, my flavor of the week was not someone I really like. Marcus was handsome, he was nice and we got along pretty well, but that was that, nothing more than that. Marcus and I had this mutual treatment with each other. We had that fondness and respect for each other. I like him as a person. We are not close but we had always acted pretty at home with one another. It was because of that, that I chose him as my first target. Target seemed too vulgar, so resorted to call them our interests. When I came to Marcus last week, it was a monday, he was sitting quietly at the library reading. I came behind him and placed a chocolate infront of him. He turned to look, 

"That's for you." - I said cheekily.

"Hey crush..." - He said, that's what we call each other by the way.

"Are you going to court me already?" - He laughed.

"I just want to be sweet with my crush." - I said with a huge grin.

"Okay. Don't take this back okay? I love chocolates." - He smiled.

"Okay!"

 

I was about to leave but he started to say something.

 

"What are you guys up to again." - He smiled cheekily as he pointed out the presence of my friends behind the bookshelves, spying and failing at being insconspicous.

"Nothing!"

 

Marcus just didn't take it seriously. He was cool about it. It was as if that gesture was another normal thing to do. My mission ended well last week. I intended to make all my weeks that easy, and it was by choosing an interest who's an easy task. Someone who is comfortable but that plan changed when Wednesday came. Tan, Mela's crush was the reason of change. Tan and Mela were friends since we were first years. I think, or we her friends think that she doesn't only have crush on him, we think she's inlove with him already. This flavor of the week is something that can allow her to express what she feels whether she admits that she loves him or not.

 

As a daily routine, Mela and Tan had their daily walks at the university oval at 4:30am. Sometimes we decide to join in. That day was one of them. We were at the oval earlier. We waited for Tan to come. With Mela, is a paper bag which we didn't have idea of its contents and a couple of balloons. She was really into it. We were happy for her. We were excited for her. We also suspect that Tan feels the same way, I mean, spending almost eveyday by walking at the oval at 4 in the morning isn't just a fitness thing,right? At some point he also loves to be with her. So we approve of this great gesture of love.

 

Tan arrived that morning with a girl. 'A friend' we all thought. Even if it was Tan's friend only, the rest of us thought that confessing was a bad idea. There was an outsider. But we knew Mela already made up her mind. After Tan introduced the girl with her as Kerr, Mela started to speak...

"Tan... I like you. I like you so much."

She handed him the paper bag. Tan was just stunned he was immobile for so long and then he started to blurt out a laugh. From laughing he became serious.

"Mela, I'm courting Kerr."

"Uhh... Oh.." I could see tears welling in both sides of her eyes.

"I'm s-o-r-r-y ..." - She said, she addressed to him...

"I'm sorry..." - She addressed to Kerr. She then rushed to run away.

Of course Krys, Tanya and I rushed to follow her. She was broken. She cried her heart out. She told us she was just hurt because he didn't even tell her that he was to court someone and as she was too proud to admit, she said a rejection from a crush was hurtful too, and didn't admit her love. By that afternoon, she was okay, or that's what she wanted us to believe, no, that is what she wanted herself to believe. She then kept on bugging us to be fair. She knew that Marcus wasn't really a crush and dared me to choose someone I really like.

 

For Krys, she chose to tell her ex Yoon, which was of her advantage because he was wooing her back,

 

So they are back on their M.U. (Mutual Understanding) stage, though she has not decided on getting back with him.

 

Tanya, decided to confess to Uno, the hottest varsity player on the planet, I mean on campus. Uno got overwhelmed by it, seeing him blush and all. But we all knew he wasn't really Tanya's type. Tanya likes Yen. Yen the beautiful volleyball varsity player and they were in the same team. Yes, she's a lesbian. Tanya had always been open about it, she too have her own share of male crushes, but none of those were serious. Her statements were more like "I like that dude, he's so cool" than "Gosh! he is so charming."

 

Because Mela was bringing us into guilt trip, I decided Jian would be my interest for week two. We can't force Krys since she's planning to get back with Yoon. So Tanya also decided to tell Yen.

 

We sound desperate, maybe we are. We sound folly, maybe we are. Yet all I know is that we all agreed to this to somehow have an excuse to tell someone our feelings to, justify what we were about to do since we all agreed to it anyway. Mela, used it so that she can finally express her feelings to Tan even how unsuccessful it turned out. Because of too much pride, Krys couldn't admit to Yoon that she still likes him, that is why because of this Flavor of the Week thing, she had the reinforcement to do so, while Tanya has finally reason now to admit to a girl that she likes. Though openly gay, she had never dared to confess her feelings to anyone. As for me... I'm not sure. Wow... I am so good at speculating for them but as for me... I am so afraid to admit that deep inside my heart, aside from setting a new weird experience, I somehow wish that, that person whom I'll confess to will notice me even for a brief moment. So even though I was afraid of rejection, I pursued it.

 

However, looking back at my Jian encounter earlier, I think I could drown in embarassment. I feel like a kid done on experimenting with fire since I got burned. I hope and pray that I would not see him.