I never knew such soft brown eyes that were once filled with so much love can turn into eyes full of disappointment and hurt. 

“Tell me Jinsoul, tell me what am I to you?!” She pleads.

Even when she’s yelling and crying, she’s the most beautiful person in the world. 

But there’s silence. Speak up dummy!!! Tell her you love her, and that you love her so much its suffocating. Tell her when she looks at you, the world stops for a couple of seconds and tell her that her smile and her laugh are what keeps your days going. Tell her you like that when she smiles so big, one of her eyes squints a little harder than the other. Tell her that her that her hands are so soft and delicate, sometimes you’re just scared to even touch it! Just say something, idiot!!

“are you serious right now jinsoul?! you’re not going to say anything?” she says in a way full of hurt. 

“im sorry,” its barely a whisper, but she still hears it and it was the only thing that could come out. 

“So these past however months, I’ve just been a quick .” she says in anger. 

I kept track of how long, its been 7 months and 5 days. And you deserve to be angry with me. I ed up. What kind of person breaks the heart of the person they love. That’s not how love works. 

“Jinsoul, I know you love me back, just please, talk to me… I’m angry, but that doesn't mean I wont listen.”

Even when I up, she still has the heart to hear me out. 

“If I'm the only one caring about this whole situation… just… lets put it this way, if you plan to keep hurting me, i’m literally begging you, just stay out of my life. ” she mumbles and walks past me. “I love you jinsoul. Maybe your mind just has to catch up with your heart, but I’m tired of these games.” she finally says and slips past the front door. 

And that was how Ha Sooyoung; my soulmate, my first love and maybe my only love has slipped past my grasp due to my own self incompetence. 

Ha Sooyoung, I’m sorry I was not brave enough for you, maybe one day I will be. Hopefully you’re there waiting, but that’s even more selfish of me to wish that. I wish I was brave now.