I bet this time of night you're still up.

I bet you're tired from a long hard week.

I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.

And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.

Well Jisoo played this song when we were on her car last night, we were about to grab dinner together when I realized that Taylor Swift wrote the whole love life of mine.

I know you're still up right now, maybe trying to finish an update to your famous story. Or maybe just talking to someone special. You're a night owl, you never sleep early.

How was school? I believe you started your classes a week ago, I know the subjects were hard but you're a fighter, you know how to deal with everything.

I wonder if I ever cross your mind sometimes. Do you still remember me whenever Ed Sheeran's song came in to play? I hope Tenerife Sea still have the same meaning to you just like when you forced me to call you one night just to hear my voice with that song.

I was so nervous to sing for you, I never sang to anyone in particular, but with your words saying "you can always sing for me", I had the courage to grab the guitar, dial your number and sing in the middle of the night. We stayed up until 3am through I have work the following day.

And I just wanna tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you.

And I wish I could run to you.

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do,

I almost do.

The night you told me that you had a fight with your parents, that was also the  night that I realized that I want you in my life.

We said goodbye even before we started, and that was the worst. I felt like the universe played with me. I told you everything, like how my ex girlfriend pushed me away and just left a message saying "seriously stop", I told you I was to be awarded as one if the best architects the next month. You know I speak with my mind, and when I told you that I like you, babe it was real.

You said you'll never leave,  that you'll wait for the right time to come. I'm six years older than you, and you still have college ahead, we can't start something, we can't afford to ruin your future. And so I said that in the next lifetime, I'll find you, I'll date you.

Funny how I wished that the next lifetime was just a month away. Your last message says "goodnight babe", believe me that's the best and the worst phrase I ever read. You never replied, you never answered my calls, and for the second time I felt used. It was heartbreak. Now I can't afford to trust anyone, I'm afraid to talk to anyone.

I tried reading your posts, wishing that I'll found something that is directed to me, but I never did. For weeks I waited for a response, but I failed. You already moved on.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you

'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you

And risk another goodbye.

I was rushed to the hospital two weeks after you go. Jisoo found me lying on the floor almost lifeless, with my phone in my hand. Turns out that my body gave up after weeks of having no appetite and proper sleep. Luckily I'm okay now, i'm trying to stay alive. I should forget you just like you already forgotten about me.

And I just wanna tell you

It takes everything in me not to call you.

And I wish I could run to you.

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do,

I almost do.

So Jisoo and I went to that concert that we, you and I, planned to attend. Hoping that I'll bump into that girl that I really missed. Well I never saw you but I felt it, you were there.

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe.

It's probably better off this way.

And I confess babe,

In my dreams you're touching my face

And asking me if I wanna try again with you.

And I almost do.

Now I'm thankful that we never crossed paths that night, cause after finding courage to finally forget, I cannot afford another heartbreak.

And I just wanna tell you

It takes everything in me, not to call you.

And I wish I could run to you.

And I hope you know that every time I don't

I almost do,

I almost do.

I like to think that I always cross your mind just to make myself smile. Babe I never know how to smile like I used to before I met you. I guess you really took a part of me, out of all the pain and tears im still thankful that we met. I just want to talk to you again, I want to tell you that I'm doing fine, and every time I don't ring you up, I almost do.

I bet this time of night you're still up.

I bet you're tired from a long hard week.

I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.

And I hope sometimes you wonder about me.

-Jen