Minseok has always loved dyeing his hair unnatural colours... pink, green, blue, red... something new every month. His hair is strong, so he could do it regularly.


Seeing him with a buzzcut is weird to say the least. It's not like he's not gorgeous, absolutely stunning ㅡ no. It's just Jongdae knows how much Minseok hates short hair on himself. And being forced to cut all of his luscious locks is just outrageous, as he says.


In reality, it's not the hair that's the problem. The buzzcut is just a pretext on which he could let out all of his frustrations regarding having to leave. Jongdae knows he's scared even though he doesn't want to admit it. You could clearly see it in the way his eyebrows furrow and his teeth sink into the inside part of his bottom lip, sometimes even hard enough to draw blood and discomfort. It's almost like he wants to cry. But he never does.


"Hey, Jongdae-ah?" he always asks, running a hand through his short hairs, almost like he's trying to get used to the coldness he feels on the nape of his neck where there isn't hair to cover it anymore or his ears for that matter.


"Yes, hyung?"


"Do you think that..." he always continues, his short fingers fidgeting, playing mindlessly with his hoodie's zipper "...do you think that time will pass quickly?"


Jongdae smiles. Always. It's a bittersweet smile. Like he's just trying to give himself more time to answer. That's the only thing he could do since he cannot give it to Minseok.


"I guess it will." he always lies.


Feeling powerless and unable to help the love of your life regarding something is shattering. All you can do is give out some encouraging, meaningless words, hoping that your special other would buy them. Minseok never does, but he appreciates the effort.


All Minseok does is stare at himself in the mirror, contemplating his buzzcut. It's funny ㅡ how his hair has become a constant reminder that it's his turn soon. Maybe, in other circumstances he wouldn't have hated it so much. Baekhyun wholeheartedly said that this is his best haircut up to date.


"Hyung!! You look awesome and so manly!" the younger exclaimed, his eyes big and mouth slightly agape.


Minseok smiled back. It was a nice reassurance coming from his best friend and his other best friends seemed to agree. But it wasn't enough to make him like it.


And if Minseok isn't staring at his lack of hair in the mirror, it's always Jongdae that his eyes lay upon for seconds, minutes, sometimes even hours at night.


Lately, everything that the younger has been doing felt extra interesting for him.


Jongdae laying on the couch, reading a book.


Minseok could stare at him eternally. The way Jongdae's short stubby fingers flick the pages, the way his eyebrows frown in concentration or even frustration when one of the characters does something stupid, the way he his bottom lip about 2 or 3 times per chapter or the way he clears his throat from time to time... all these little things are branded into Minseok's brain. He wants them branded there. He won't get to witness anything like this for at least 2 years.


At night, it's even worse. Minseok has been losing sleep over watching Jongdae. Big hours. It's just he finds his lover absolutely mesmerizing. Sometimes he even cries while watching him. Quiet sobs, to not wake him up. Seeing Jongdae's eyelids tight shut, guarded by his long lashes, his soft rose lips slightly parted and his features relaxed... it feels soothing, but it breaks his heart. Feeling his soft skin, tracing all the lines of his muscles under the dim light entering the room in which his rings and bracelets glisten in some angles... it shatters Minseok.


And it's all because he won't get to witness anything as beautiful and ethereal as this... for at least 2 years.


So he just tries to act strong. To toughen up. After all, this is normal, right? Every Korean man has to do it at some point... and not even only Korean men, even men of other nationalities... sometimes even women. Why wouldn't he do it? He's not special, this is his duty. He should be proud. He should be excited.


"But I'm not excited. I'm scared." he always says to himself, mumbling under his bre