Let me tell you what I am feeling right now. I am in love with someone who obviously doesn't have feelings for me. It doesn't matter. I love him despite that. I don't want anybody to judge me, but I fell in love with someone who I just met twice. It took me months to realize that I love him. I kept thinking of him, his face, his smell, and his kisses. At first, I thought it was just physical feelings, and as time, days, months go by, I started to doubt myself. I asked a friend's advice if this is normal or not and she told me it is and then it hit me. I was in denial for the past months. I kept ignoring my feelings, and now I realized I love him.

I cried all night, feeling the regret of the time I have wasted. What if I realized it sooner would the situation change? Will I be given a chance to love and be love? A lot of stuff going on in my head. I wanted to go to him and tell him I love him, but will he accept it? It's been months already, and I have not heard anything from him. Sleepless nights, crying, drinking, hoping I will forget him but no use. I still could not get him out of my head and HEART.

If only we had a chance to know each other more. I tried to get in contact with him again, and it didn't turn out really good. He got mad at me because, after months of not being in touch with him, I found out he is now in another relationship. I was devastated to the point that I lost my self-esteem, and I have no idea how to restore myself, but despite that, I STILL LOVE HIM. Heck, I LOVED HIM EVEN MORE. It took all my might to start doing the things I usually do again. I am still feeling down and very broken, but I didn't care. I have decided to move on, but the more I do it, the more I remember him. I do the things I do every day with him inside my head. Do you guys see how hard that is? Nevertheless, I love the feeling, that is why I am embracing all my emotions as of this moment.

I sometimes think that I am so pathetic and weak but NO i should be thankful instead because being able to feel LOVE and giving it someone is an AMAZING feeling. Not everyone is given a chance to handle this. I love being in love. I love the joy, happiness, pain, longings, and all the emotions that go with it. I LOVE THEM ALL!!!

I have not MOVED ON yet. I still LOVE the man. I know that someday I will be able to learn to forget him. So, for now, I have unrequited love, but I don't care. I will enjoy this feeling and imagine things I could possibly imagine with him inside my head and heart. I am thankful I was able to meet you, and you taught me how to love unconditionally. I still love you to be honest, but I have already accepted that we are not meant to be with each other. How I keep wishing we are, but I know it's impossible.

I know one day we might see each other again  I just wish I don' t have feelings for you anymore when that time comes because I don't know what I am going to do if I see you. I always imagine being with you, holding you, hugging you, and kissing you. I miss you so damn much. As I am writing this, I am thinking of you. I don't know if this is normal, but It has been months since I felt these feelings for you, and I really don't know how to get rid of it. I get tired sometimes, to be honest. It's tiring to love someone you know who can never love me back, but I LOVE FEELING THIS WAY!!!

I am still hoping that we end up being with each other, maybe NOT NOW, but in the future. I am really hoping for that. Wherever you are, I hope you are safe and happy. I will always be here for you. I would do anything for you. If maybe given a chance to see just a glimpse of you would probably make me love you even more. Usually, when I shed tears, I would take him\her out of my life automatically, but shedding these tears for you makes me LOVE YOU EVEN MORE.

Take care of yourself and REMEMBER I LOVE YOU. <3